Category: Uncategorized

Rowing Or…

WillLeave a comment

Am I really going forward, where am I going, and really wherever I’m headed do I truly want to be there at all. Rowing Or…; I’m no longer drowning but I suppose I was less loss when I was still in the water, for down seems so much better than around.

Rowing
Ass backwards
It’s a curse
Not knowing
Yet I’m going
Yes Ma’am, yes Sirs
Why… I’m not sure
I’m thinking of forgoing

Oars
To sink or swim
I don’t know where to begin
But no more
Dreams weighing me down
Slowly let me drown

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Mellow Sunshine

WillLeave a comment

Why bother being the only one, why bother trying to reach the tip top, I think this was during a moment that decent and adequate, being fine actually trumped trying to be happy, or I was really into “Paranoia Agent”. Mellow Sunshine…

Why so negative
Looked at as a sin

Twelve wanting to be twelve
The difference between Heaven and Hell
Is PM to AM
It’s not fair
Middle to the start of the new
Which do you choose?
Morning is declined
For the mellow sunshine

God’s happy cry
For the Devil beating his wife
How I want to be happy
But the Devil can’t have me
Tears during the day
You I must obey
Not alright or fine
In the mellow sunshine

A world with more birthdays
You can take mine away
All twenty-seven
Just want to get to Heaven
Or the second-circle of Hell
Can’t you tell?
I don’t deny
With the mellow sunshine

Life begins
When
Love, lust, and sin
Maybe when life ends
From cell, to cell, to Hell
Oh well
Life’s a bitch and then you die
Not on a beach but mellow sunshine

And so many stars can’t be the one
Sun
My daddy taught me
Another somebody
Under a black sky
Why can’t I die?
Still alive
This mellow sunshine

Negativity I like
Because the mellow sunshine
Isn’t as bright
As you would like

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Some People, NOT Me

WillLeave a comment

Do I still question how they see me; to be honest they barely do anymore except the occasional text to see that I’m still above ground, still they’re dirty little secret, even from myself nowadays. “Some People, NOT Me”, I’m my own worse critic.

Some people… more than one
Laugh and fear and hate… me
For fun?
My crime is making a “we”
When I’m they’re son
Not the whole world, see

Just some people… not just a few
Over twenty-seven years
Make it their mission for me to lose
The cause of all my tears
Should have been born blue
Maybe I wouldn’t get the sneers

Of some people… more than a dozen
Flesh and blood, a “family”
Mommy, Daddy, Sister, Cousin
Don’t make me happy
Brothers, sisters, all the others
Skin like theirs… no one like me

Because of some people… not most
Look at me, like a diseased rat
Make me doubt, so I don’t know
And tear me down with their attacks
Hate my birth and make me want to go
Not Muslims, Republicans, I’m talking at

But some people… and not the whole damn world
Those from royalty, to slavery, to today, and me
Ashamed and filled with hate for sure
And why shouldn’t I be
Say I’m worthless and I’m no good
The man in the mirror, that I see

Some people won’t understand
They and I are enemies
Dare I say, “I AM A MAN”?
Who is it that cannot see?
My character they cannot stand
And who am I supposed to be
“You people” won’t understand
Some People, NOT Me

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

 

Retaining Reinvention

WillLeave a comment

Since I have the tendency to talk to myself *ahem* “I didn’t want you to remember I want you to forget” as if I could be as bad as Kruger though I try. Retaining Reinvention… as many times as I have tried to be someone else, I don’t know who I am anymore.

Retaining
Memories of boos
And shoos
Yet I’m staying
For want of saying
The truth
Of course, you knew
No need explaining

Like I could mention
Who I am
Don’t understand
My reinvention
If only I could see
Who I want to be

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

ACROSS From Calvary

WillLeave a comment

I’m an atheist… as far as I’m concerned the so called greatest story ever told is just a crap movie like a really good story The Golden Compass. ACROSS From Calvary as if anyone cares about Jesus, he may not be the way but neither is the crap on TV.

Across from Calvary
People watch and moan
Oh No
Bieber just might be…
The next dancer to see…
X factor was known
An idol unknown
As Jesus maybe

Second in the coming
Zombie Apocalypse
Proof I insist
But there is nothing
Heavy is the cross
Following the last episode of LOST

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Hear Me Out

WillLeave a comment

Once upon a time I made a mom pretty “darn” angry, and it wasn’t my mom for once and I can’t say that this poem helped any. Hear Me Out, well to be fair I don’t even talk to my own mother or many people in my everyday life and still, I try to explain.

Hear me here
I wish you were dear
My girlfriend, my lover, or even a friend
So where do I begin
This isn’t the place
Or is this a waste?

Hear me there
Do you care?
What I have to say
I listen every day
… Okay, okay I’ll shut up
You’ve had enough

Hear me now
Better yet how
Freaking blocked me
You’re not listening
Or buying
Am I lying?

Hear me in
Is that a sin?
These screams
My dreams
Aren’t real
But you feel

What I am
Is not a good man?
Which I never cop to
But a fool
For freedom
So read on
Or don’t
You probably won’t

Hear me out
What I’m about
Sex and drugs
Death and blood
But to clock
And knock
Let me explain
Know my name
Am I too loud?
Just hear me out

Six Dollar Clowns

WillLeave a comment

Only today because I mentioned it in my “How I Learned to Hate Beyoncé” lesson, did she even exist way back then, every generation talks about the music before but this was the job before… Hardee’s. Six Dollar Clowns hmm

Ha Ha, Oh boy
Or girl
Really the whole damn world
What will it be sir
Voices and noise

Laughing and snacking
Is it not enough?
Maybe I’m just not tough
It’s all just too much
My soul is cracking

They’re attacking
Employers yes
Employees a mess
Guests
My soul, shattering

It’s too much
The noise
No joy
Call me a scared little boy
As you serve and eat your mush

Wearing tin grins
Throwing away your trash
Blow it out your ass
And you wonder why I’m sad
Because in the end…

To shout out
I can only stand around
Be bound
Another one of you six dollar clowns
Early clock out

Six dollar clown
But I’m not happy
It’s maddening
Working for Hardee’s
A fool, a loser, a nothing, I wear a frown

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Dreaming Awake

WillLeave a comment

I usually don’t have nightmares when I’m sleeping but since I have been working it seems the days and the nights are beginning to blur and being awake is a nightmare. Dreaming Awake… I think I rather not dream at all anymore and yet I continue

Dreaming awake, sweet dreams really…
Can you hear, oh the time
It’s just like kneeling
How God denies
The very existence of my life
Doesn’t he make mistakes?
I know your lie
Dreaming awake

All that I’ve been feeling
You’re just as blind
Watching is like killing
Behind those closed blinds
Think you’re so divine
Like him a fake
As I try to drive
Dreaming awake

Screaming yet somehow I’m dealing
But me you’ll never find
Closed doors and jeering
Yeah I want to hide
Or just to cry
Everything I have take
Let me sign
Dreaming awake

Yet I fight
Won’t begin to pray
Just let me die
Dreaming Awake

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Grisly Load – A Process

WillLeave a comment

Life for want of a box; seems somewhat ironic that I am surrounded by boxes at work and no I don’t work at a funeral parlor; I work at hmm… Grisly Load – A Process… most days I empty boxes of crap and all I want to do is curl up in one and die.

The box awaits its grisly load
Should I be food for worms?
Or let it burn
A prince, no I’m a toad
Because I’m all alone
How I continue to turn
Will I never learn?
Can I never fold?

And end this ridiculous game
Take my cards
Break my heart
For I am too ashamed
To live within this box
I just want it to STOP!!!

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

With Life’s Sojourn

WillLeave a comment

What is the point of an existence to simply continue that existence, especially one as pathetic as mine? With Life’s Sojourn… how if anything I have been wanting to move towards death and I keep backing up as if that was my fault, which I know it is.

Starting to learn
I’ve always been cursed
With life’s sojourn

Backward I turn
So I’m never first
To win, I’m always spurned

Stopped dead sir
Not nursed
Is no one concerned?

As I go to earn
In this shell that’s so much worse
Yet doesn’t burn

Ashes to an urn
Another day on this earth
Can’t even “Grr”

Was it different, the way we were?
What am I even worth?
Starting to learn
With life’s sojourn

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.