Log 330 ~Silence Of The Will~

I would like for a woman to tell me she loves me, well besides my mother, or my grandmother’s dog way back in “MY” day. The question is, would I ever get such words out myself, especially with everything going on. “Silence Of The Will”

Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Log 330 ~Silence Of The Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, do me a favor and ask me how. On one side of the coin, I’m like Yuri Orlov. I never want to keep what I do away from you. If you look at the other I’m Andy Dufresne, I’m a hard man to know. I’ve never seen The Silence of the Lambs, I hear it’s classic.

Have I scared you yet? We’ve discussed things like this from time to time, haven’t we? Pillow talk, like how I can’t stand most crime dramas like that. Give me zombies, sci-fi, sex, as the song goes “Gimme fuel, Gimme fire, Gimme that which I desire. I want to talk to you. At the same time, I want to be quiet, not mad, not upset, not lost. Only to have the silence like some anime character, or like one of those Japanese series. I want to lie in your lap like something out of Gokusen, perhaps. I haven’t thought of that show in ages. It’s a bit funny that as everyone is coming outside, I only want to retreat back into our house. I want to watch films and stream everything under the sun. One more reason we own a private beach. I’m not sorry for any of this, and that’s why I love you.

I tell My Dæmon, every day that I’m sorry… shows what kind of father I am. The thing is he doesn’t understand the words, doesn’t care, but he stays beside me all the time. Without one word, he knows if I’m happy, sad, or angry. Yeah, I keep digging that hole comparing you to our furry son. It could be the fact that again I’m repeating myself from before. The noise of the world coming back alive is getting to me. It’s why my libraries, ladies, and love must be louder. To put it in another way, I love you to DEAF, wouldn’t you say?

No, I’m one for the lame jokes. What’s real is that I Love You. Now I could say that forever with or without the mask. I’ll admit with the Coronavirus (COVID-19) running rampant, it’s easier. Such is my vanity or the need for pain, though I want to be Peeta instead of Gale. Would that make you my Katniss, baby doll? I’ll smile small, eat big, For The Love Of You. Silence Of The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 329 ~Words Destroy More Than Bombs~

I’m always so concerned with zombies that I barely notice the Coronavirus (COVID-19). I should do better, but it’s the words of everyone around me minus the lady talking about my dog that destroy me. Words Destroy More Than Bombs.

Monday, May 25, 2020

Log 329 ~Words Destroy More Than Bombs~

Hundred And Thirty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s because of this rule. Funny, I don’t quote it more often, but that’s because I’m still focused on Rule One. I Will Have No Fear. For the record, I should add FEAR to my most hated words. Also, while I’m on the subject of lists, this would be in my top five reasons to be a writer. Rule Thirteen states, Power Is All That Matters. I still believe this, and Rules 19 and 84 say respectively, “LOVE Is A Great Power,” and “There’s Power In The Dollar.” In words, though, Madam Justice lies the greatest.

Last week and the start of this one SIGH, I notice how I silenced Cherry. Not only in my novel’s pages but indeed everyday life. I didn’t even need to use a ball gag, dammit. It seems my blessing and my curse. Hell, who knows I could be wrong all around as per my usual. I eat up the time talking to you and the other girls. When have I worked on either of my stories again? The only thing I write more is a litany of excuses, and yes, I’m back to blaming the Day Job. My recent humiliations stem from three words, “Home and Kids.” Now, if I wanted to kill myself, I would go right back to bed. I would let the disease, which is my words fester and finish. It’s like out of Pontypool. Did I ever tell you I’m a fan of chemical and biological warfare? Must be Greed, but anyway, words are a disease.

So is there a vaccine, what’s the cure? You inoculate with others Madam Justice. How many times have I brought up Succubus Lord by Eric Vall? I read his and other Harem Romances. Oh, to enjoy the title Sex Zombies. To read “Lolita” to even say the word, I listen to “Taboo” Fetishes with Alice. Again I think of my works. If my characters have a voice and can speak the things I can’t. The ability to create a world, a history of my design. I can build A Whole New World to hide in or better, I could become Godlike; my such grand designs. If only I said NO to Home and Kids, NO to my STUPIDITY, just NO.

Peace and Quiet. Forgive me Madam Justice but Fucking SILENCE, Words Destroy More Than Bombs.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 328 ~Well Hell, Oh Will~

If there is some positivity to be shared, I’m not a STUPID Republican. I’ll wear a mask, but I am annoyed at temperature checks because I’m always so hot * bum dum tss*. I run hot out of anger, chicks, or embarrassment. “Well Hell, Oh Will”

Sunday, May 24, 2020

Log 328 ~Well Hell, Oh Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I wear whatever I want. It’s like every day the Day Job finds new ways to make me a bigger sinner. Maybe that’s why my “sexual exploits” never bother me. Okay, that’s a lie, but that’s more concerning everyone else’s delicate sensibilities. Now, of course, this is more Inspector Echo’s wheelhouse, but I guess I need a bit of confession today. So if it ain’t Sex, it’s SOUL, STUPIDITY, and SLOTH. Now, what about WRATH and again LUST? As the song goes, gotta give it up to get off sometimes.

That shouldn’t mean your soul, though, your passion. Take some nights back, what time did I get to sleep? Hell, what about the day, the things I do to keep the Day Job? I still believe the worse thing is someone destroying your SOUL, and here I am, killing myself. Oh, then wait, um, why are you sitting here reading this right now.

“Never go for the kill when you can go for the pain,” ― D’Hoffryn, Buffy

Stupidity, well yeah, but we don’t have all day, so let’s stick with women make you dumb. Do we go with the pretty girl’s cart you stole the other day? Oh, I know how about not talking to Cherry? And as always, there’s the NO FAP Challenge. Hell, that’s the one thing that doesn’t make me lazy, trying to avoid porn like the plague. Here I was this week thinking all the pretty cosplayers were blocking me. I’m still playing Call me a Legend and reading Succubus Lord. I heard the show “Normal People” was mad at PornHub. No time for you know my Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 005 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making My Bed, Every Day This Week
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus Lord by Eric Vall
    Completed

I’m making the bed only to screw it up as soon as I return. Now you might think, why am I putting you through all this? I’m not suicidal. You know what makes you a great sadist… that you’re a decent masochist. I just read “10 Signs You Might Be A Masochist: Traits, Behaviors & More.” I scored seven out of ten, and that won’t be changing anytime soon. It’s Hell, you know, answer me this. Why is it that you enter the Day Job, well most of life and you’re burning up? How stupid is it to carry fire into Hell? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Making My Bed, Every Day This Week
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late by Colleen Hoover

Here’s the answer, the ninth circle is frozen over; TREACHERY. It’s betrayal and of who? Yourself, burn to stop, necessary sins, Well Hell, Oh Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 325 ~The Way Up Will~

As Aerosmith once put it, “Love in an Elevator,” now that’s something to put on a “certain” list though I’m sure my collection has a few examples of it. If I want it to happen, though, I should get a few other things up first. “The Way Up Will.”

Thursday, May 21, 2020

Log 325 ~The Way Up Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and even more if I start thinking with the big head instead of the little one. Well, I’m here, aren’t I? It’s Sunday, and I’ve traveled four days into the future. Yes, I hate the Day Job, my dick is up more often than me, but damn there’s always boobs.

Boobalicious/Milk Junkies, what I would give to be so creative, to touch, to feel. No Dirty Diana, the name of the game these days is profit. Hell, I’ve been all over Onlyfans these days, but I only talk to boobs I “know.” I’m still on the concept that a woman has to aim higher with me. My brain, the beat of my heart, someone who makes me want to surrender my bucks. Speaking of which, if I wasn’t so busy trying to sell books, I would want to review hentai. Wasn’t I talking about going all body-wise myself when it came to Onlyfans last week? The things a lack of Fapping leads to, but again being Sunday, I’m still going strong at eleven days. I didn’t even break out my Fleshlight yesterday. You know I get all into sex toys and “stranger” fetishes of mine.

Now I don’t mean the “Boobless Wonder” Anna Vlasova, aka Alissa or Rebecca from MarvelCharm. It doesn’t bother me at all, only you know that I can name other models, of course. I’ve even gone back to MILF Dos a time or two, and you know she has an impressive set. She’s a good girl, a good woman I should say and wasn’t I talking about holy women and kimonos last week. So what gets me higher than that Dirty Diana or more to the point who. The mind reels.

Some time ago it was trains and buses and now Love in an Elevator. Kininaru Kimochi 1-3 but the fourth one? I guess someone got bored, but I will never get tired of TITS. I could sit here today for hours telling you every single movie. From “Debbie Does Dallas” to the Discipline series. Using sex to make money is not a hard concept… okay, I did not just say that Dirty Diana. My point is even Think and Grow Rich, talks about harnessing the sex instinct. On top of doing what you love, motivations.

So where am I going, what’s The Way Up Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 324 ~Will’s Embarrassing Wily Whims~

Maybe I won’t be able to find something for a customer. It could be wearing my bandanna as a mask because I was so late to the party, not fearing the apocalypse. Hell, it might be this conversation. Will’s Embarrassing Wily Whims.

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Log 324 ~Will’s Embarrassing Wily Whims~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I am finding it hard to stay positive. Hell, I have another book idea? If I were to write down everything that humiliates, embarrasses, and shames me, SIGH. Now that would be over Fifty-Thousand words. Today I don’t intend to go so far, but the Day Job is calling, so I’ll be in no mood to write. You know Inspector Echo, I would make a “decent” masochist, seeing as how I want the pain. Oh, and sex isn’t something I’m ashamed of, for the most part, at least, um yeah?

Anyway took a look at my schedule for the Day Job, I’m expecting “humiliations galore.” Of course, I know I don’t have to. I could walk in, and my temperature could spike over 100° F.

I’m not sick but angry, expecting embarrassment, hiding my real work. Speaking of which while my real life sucks. Yes, I said it, SUCKS, another one of my most hated words. Only because people took it from me, you know. Back to my point, what about The Eve of a Cherry or GULP? I let people read my stories and what happens, hmm. Dead in the Water as the song goes, which should cool me off. Yes, I like Ellie Goulding and Abba. I have a dedicated playlist that sings of my shame. Not Ellie Goulding but others. Yesterday though, I was reading over GULP… well, damn you Grammarly app.

Will’s Hated Words:

  1. Skeevy
  2. Stupid
  3. Merge
  4. Happy
  5. Family-Friendly
  6. Just Kidding
  7. Tease
  8. Freak
  9. Lazy
  10. Sucks

It’s my fault too, though, for wasting so much time. Here it is May, and I should have long ago published. No, today I got so caught up thinking about the Day Job I had to take a nap. Now my whole schedule is thrown off. Showering at the whims of My Dæmon. Using him as an excuse, yeah, I should be ashamed. What about the new game I’m playing? Yes, Inspector Echo, I’m still all about Call me a Legend. Life imitating art, living in the plague era, chasing the girlies, and I’m not the best father I can be. How about being a friend? I’ve barely talked to Indiana Gone. I don’t know what M Anime is up to. Well, I did hear from Whisper Girl, and what about Cherry, yeah my novel.

I’m sorry, Inspector Echo, for expecting the worst. For sometimes even rooting for the Coronavirus. Living Will’s Embarrassing Wily Whims.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 323 ~Will, Steal My Sunshine~

Last week I talked some about work, and with the plague year, well, I know I’m in the “control” group, and that can’t be helped. However, even when I have a job I love and the woman I love, I still won’t be eager to go out. “Will, Steal My Sunshine.”

Tuesday, May 19, 2020

Log 323 ~Will, Steal My Sunshine~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which should mean it’s time to get back to work? Wasn’t it sometime last week Baby Doll, I was saying I don’t wanna? I’m sorry I must be thinking about the Day Job I had once upon a time. Now that was no fairytale, and while I LOVE what I do now, I want to stay with you. Well, unless you try to take it away, but that’s neither here nor there. I was only looking over my schedule for the week and SIGH. If only I could take you with me and I hope to someday. Duty calls My Love.

The thing is, as the song goes, I got sunshine on a cloudy day. I’m going to be burning up when I get to the studio but not with anger. Yes, I keep thinking about the Day Job, and that’s all there was for me, RAGE. Now “I’m On Fire,” but I want the sunshine you bring. While I bring up celebrities like The Temptations and Bruce Springsteen. Again another song ahem. I’ll be the greatest fan of your life. So you don’t have to wonder why I want to stay here with you. My furry kid, warm bed sheets, and hot as Hell wife. There was a time I was satisfied with only hoodies. Yes, I know I still wear them, and that won’t be changing anytime soon. Always when it comes to you, Baby Girl, what else can I say, you give me Fever, too many songs maybe?

Besides my singing, why all this talk of heat? The days of the plague, Coronavirus (COVID-19). It doesn’t scare me, no, not at all. As a matter of fact, Baby Girl, if you ever want to turn me on, Zombies, Plague Era, and world destruction. One more song, I hope, I’m “George Romero,” and you’re “My Post-Apocalyptic Zombie Survival Fantasy.” A conversation for another time. Only I’m not looking forward to going back out into Hell, the state of our country. How about the one people say I’m going to for doing what I do in life. Could we always crawl back inside the covers and play some video games? Did I suggest that for reals? Well, your husband is a bit of a geek and a book nerd sometimes.

You’re So Damn Hot, okay, this is the last song promise; Will Still My Sunshine.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 322 ~Blood, Sweat, Tears, I Rather…~

How badly do I want “it,” well, how much time do I give these conversations? I’m always late because I’m doing “other” stuff and thangs. Still, how many days have I missed? Blood, Sweat, Tears, I Rather well um

Monday, May 18, 2020

Log 322 ~Blood, Sweat, Tears, I Rather…~

Hundred And Thirty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I WANT to say it’s because I’ve been ignoring what I WANT to do. Even my motivations are mixed in that regard. Either be a man that works his behind off or do what you love and never work a day in your life. I’m both to be sure, but one gets me paid, and the other doesn’t. I bleed, sweat, and cry, for a job I can’t stand, and everything else makes me feel as the song goes Hella Good. Here’s a question, at this moment, how am I feeling?

Ordinary, which means I’m afraid but less so. Indeed fearing to be real is far better than what others would make of me. Whether you know it or not, I’m bleeding with every word I write. It hurts, but at the same time, I find peace. There’s no rage to be had here, and yet people act as if I have struck a blow. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve said some, SIGH, STUPID things but the things others have made of me? To quote another song, he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus, and still as written in the Bible:

19: And He took the bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is My body, given for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” 20: In the same way, after supper He took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood, which is poured out for you.… (The Last Supper)

If I could tell you all the things that make me sweat, for example, daring to use the Bible. How about even going to look for that verse? Wouldn’t Christians call that satisfying work? I sweat at the Day Job, but every drop isn’t for the work; it’s for my escape. Now, if only I could use that for what I desire. It looks like I have plenty of time to work on Gulp, doesn’t it? No, I’ll be looking into more porn, won’t I? I was on the cusp of breaking last night, I swear Madam Justice. Such is my addiction, but I made it over a week now.

So you’re asking me why no happy tears? If I have any tears at all, it’s allergies. Sometimes Tony Baker makes me laugh plenty. I cry when there is something wrong with My Dæmon. I’m sure I talked about that last week. Sometimes I’m scared of closing my eyes because I’m tempted to fall right back to sleep. Again you know what keeps me up in more ways than one. If all I was revolved around that. For a good life, Madam Justice, it takes Blood, Sweat, Tears, I Rather…

I Will Have No Fear

Log 321 ~Will Is So Hot~

Is it hot in here or is it just, well it’s me because I’m angry. Any other emotion that brings heat isn’t welcome in my neck of the woods. Still, no, I’m not sick with the great plagues of our day, COVID-19, STUPIDITY, or complacency. Will Is So Hot.

Sunday, May 17, 2020

Log 321 ~Will Is So Hot~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but please don’t be Trump. You know the kind of guy that will say something like “he’s hot” because no one else will. Not even the thermometer, but I should have taken it at its number and left the Day Job. I’m plenty hot now, and so are you I know it. It’s not the Coronavirus (COVID-19) bringing the heat. Good thing I was wearing a mask. Because of the vile words, I wanted to spit at the Day Job. Now I’m not going to preach at you. In one ear and out the other or exhaustion.

Let’s start with the basics, HUMILATION, but there is a worse word for that, STUPID. Whether it be from being unable to help any customers. How about having to wear a radio and an earpiece? You’ve been without the Day Job so long, and Hell, you’re not on the schedule yet. HAUGHTY, is it not that you think everyone else is the problem. I tell you I was at the Day Job saw a few people in the breakroom and walked right back out. I want you to understand that you did not survive this to go back to the status quo on anything. HORRIBLE to admit, but all during that shift, I think about the phrase, “we need a new plague.” Again I ain’t Trump who doesn’t give a shit about anybody (pardon my French). Still, I was at the Day Job “praying” for zombies, or worse. Careful, boyo. Almost forgot Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 009 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Completed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making My Bed, Every Day For This Week
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing The Zombie Survival Guide
    Completed

HELLISH rage was consuming me at how I was being treated there. My only “saving grace” is the fact that I always feel it more for myself. I hate myself, so I can’t be angry at the world. Geez, I’m even mad at you because I know you’ll continue the cycle. HORNY man, are you not? It’s been a while since I’ve gone over a week without FAPPING. Now, where have I been this morning? Behind Closed Doors, Boobalicious/Milk Junkies, Kininaru Kimochi. HOT weather is never enough, is it? Pages burn, boiling blood means no Day Job and the rest of my body SIGH. Nobody needs to tell you about Hell, which is reason enough you’re not listening. Yet no matter what Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Making My Bed, Every Day This Week
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus Lord by Eric Vall

Is there anything I can say that isn’t hot air? Well, Will Is So Hot.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 318 ~Howling, Hot Here’s Willy~

As the “Fresh Prince” once said, “Hurt Me, Hurt Me,” though I’m more a sadist, to be honest, it’s just the way I get all “warm and tingly,” or how I’m buying my ticket to Hell perhaps. Howling, Hot Here’s Willy

Thursday, May 14, 2020

Log 318 ~Howling, Hot Here’s Willy~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I must be a HOT commodity. Again this is going to be one of those conversations. Brought to you by the letter H. I will also yet again blame Girlfriend Reviews. Should Your Boyfriend Play Nier: Automata? Yeah, seeing as I feel some kind of way towards 2B and Commander White. Not that I have much time to play video games, and I’m on day six of NO FAP. Which leads me into today and what is getting me hot, besides liking alliteration.

HUMILIATION, how many times must we talk about it? I don’t know as long as I like the real stories from some women. You know the language that I always prefer the whole word “Whore” in comparison to “HO.” Loving the way a girl moans and groans it, her cries. HOWLING, and no, I don’t mean like a wolf. For a man like me who enjoys getting his cock sucked, I like loud girls. No, not that kind of loud if you know what I mean. Bedroom noise, not waste my time gibberish. For a girl to choose you, over-breathing, blowjobs, or my name. HOLY, a divine experience. I do enjoy good girls, no doubt, and between maids and nuns. For some reason, I’ve gotten it into my head that kimonos are holy, but I know they were usual. Between Kurenai, Fuu, this Mob/Mafia game I played on Facebook, and others well cue Homer Drool.

HEAVY, not in the slightest, but what about the likes of Momokun who showed off her ta-tas? I won’t lie, I’m still hoping to see Cherry’s, but I haven’t asked in quite a while. As skinny as I am Dirty Diana, where do I get off? On BBWs, but not today, keep it in my pants. HOPING though to be a father someday. Is pregnancy sexy? There was this girl I wanted to date that got knocked up. Watching wrestling last night, Becky Lynch, announced she’s pregnant. In The Eve of a Cherry, one of my characters was expecting. Beautiful MILFS. HOT yet, Dirty Diana? Time marches on, and the things that get me going damn me to Hell ever more so. I was at the Day Job, and my temperature climbed; I’m not sick.

Well, at least not with the Coronavirus but my pending desires, Howling, Hot Here’s Willy.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 317 ~Willing To Work Yet~

First week back at work, how am I holding up? I tell you the things I would do, and I had a month, and what did I do? Wrote a book I can’t publish, and while the Coronavirus hasn’t gotten to me, I still suffer from anxiety. “Willing To Work Yet”

Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Log 317 ~Willing To Work Yet~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it took work to get here. So you know, WORK isn’t on my list of most hated words. I talk about work and the Day Job. Inspector Echo, I respect having to work, but I consider myself lazy. Then there’s the Day Job hmm… have we talked about what else I would be willing to do. Anything to avoid days like Monday… assuming the worse?

For example, why I’m talking to you today, now it’s Sunday. So I’ve blogged this day for about three years now. Right here, looking at my name badge from the Day Job. It’s been “almost” nine years, living paycheck to paycheck. My blog, in three years, is over 438,000 words and not one single book to show for it. Speaking of books, what about The Eve of a Cherry and Gulp? I couldn’t possibly get them published, and why not you ask? Oh right, too busy edging with Mia Khalifa, Mia Malkova, or Mia Rose. If I could organize characters as well as I do my porn. Yeah, my porn, I wasn’t kidding about Onlyfans. I’ve seen the guys that sign up for that. While I have no qualms about my body, it’s not like I would make any money? Last week I had to forgo some of my “investment” budget for the essentials. So I seem to be now.

An essential worker, Inspector Echo, I would do all the above if it meant I could escape the Day Job. Again why I’m talking to you today because when I get scheduled, I don’t want to wake up early. As THEY say about time and money and how do I spend those funds? Not on Call me a Legend or anymore on Onlyfans, yet. My money keeps me going to do things I don’t want to do, and still, I look like some charity case. By the time you’re reading this, I should have a few masks from the Day Job. Remember how I said WORK isn’t a bad word, but yeah, I should add LAZY, and I’m still SIGH STUPID. Everyone figured out how to get a mask before me, all I got is my bandanna and some cloth. Only I’m still going out to the Day Job because I don’t care enough to work at what I love.

No, I’m lazy, horny, and broke, Willing To Work Yet.

I Will Have No Fear