Tag: Life

Gospel 122 ~Season Of The Will~

WillLeave a comment

Well, Happy Halloween or NaNoWriMo Eve since I don’t have any candy. A nightmare drove me out of bed to start writing something. Pantser that I am. Funny, I was only wearing a bath towel in my dream. “Season of The Will,” so time to turn on the heat.

Saturday, October 31, 2020

Gospel 122 ~Season Of The Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I could afford to have a drug problem. Yeah, I hear you, Lady Lu; there are plenty of people with addictions. Only we’re not here to talk about this or that, are we? God knows I have my problems, which I’m paying $30 to exacerbate every month. Of course, we can’t talk about that. At least yesterday, I spent money on print rather than videos, which is something. For the record, K Webster isn’t so bad. I didn’t expect her to be, of course. It’s with what I have been reading. Lately, I suppose.

Yeah, like my emails, one’s saying I should be all down “for the cause.” I can’t tell you the last black author I read or the previous black artist I bought from. Dammit, I had another “A” for you, but as I say daily, I know. I’m struggling to be as always “Family-Friendly.” Now My Dæmon is my family, and I wish I could talk about him all day. Those artists and authors, other than K Webster, who I know is a white lady. Hell, I don’t know about the others. They don’t have any pictures. Doing what they do, better staying hidden? However, Lady Lu, my dear, being the broken record that I am, I don’t want to listen to old white men anymore. So as Morpheus whispered, I have dreamed a dream. Now it was all black people, but Nikkia Bell and “Ma” Ellington were the two I recognized.

Octavia Spencer portrays Sue Ann “Ma” Ellington in Ma; that I have never seen, by the way. Ambrosia Kelley plays Nikkia Bell in Kill Bill. The dream’s crux is playing mother and daughter; they broke into the house and drove me out. I couldn’t stay; I was terrified. So here I’m pondering, trying to figure out what the dream means. This is Halloween? Well, I usually give deeper meaning to any vision of mine. Ma wants me voting? Interesting if it had something to do with Black Lives Matter since I survived, right? Nobody helped me in my dream, and again they were all black… I’m not Republican. My gun was locked, and the magazines were gone, but bullets remained still boxed in the dream. Hell, it could even mean I should walk My Imp.

Halloween, NaNoWriMo, Voting, it’s time, the Season Of The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 121 ~V’s For Very Willing~

WillLeave a comment

One of these days, I’m going to give up social media. I’ve already locked up everything on Pinterest, and Instagram was doing me no favors this morning in bringing me peace. Well, for a split second. V’s For Very Willing to do anything but write

Friday, October 30, 2020

Gospel 121 ~V’s For Very Willing~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I am vexed, yes I am terribly vexed. Now how does that make me different from any other wealthy person? It’s because I only have myself to blame, My Lady. Rule #15 I Take My Own Lumps. Now today ain’t Wednesday to acknowledge my sins, but yes, I am guilty. Plus, a word like “VEX” is right for the onset of NaNoWriMo. Part of the reason for my vexing considering what I will be writing about shortly. Of course, I can’t mention what else starts soon. I’m keeping it “Family-Friendly.”

V is for VELVET or, more specifically, a U.K. Vixen in a red velvet dress. Come on, Lady Sophia, you’re going to tell me that “vixen” is a bad word? I’m gearing up for The Long Walk; I’ll need words. But Cherry has done much with poetry. I continue editing. Literature, My Lady is a struggle, and so V is for VERSUS. As I’ve spoken about the last two days, I’ve finished my third A.J. Markam title. Now I’m sitting here on Amazon (while I should be writing). So it’s either A.J.’s book four, Eric Vall or um, Stephen King.
Oh yeah, I’m forgetting someone today. V is for VERSES as in I wish I could write them like K Webster. That’s awfully high praise considering I’ve only read two of The V Games and Notice. First, those are innocent names, and second, her latest book was on my list.

V is for VISION because yet again, I should be sitting here at least planning out my own work. Only now, I want to read The Girl in 6E. I checked out my Amazon account, and I couldn’t get The Long Walk even if I wanted to. Ok, unless I decided to quit being Scrooge. V is for VIRAL, and I’m back to being vexed. Again I want more money, and all my poems are out there on YouTube. Only Lady Sophia, I am no one’s idea of a sensation, a showstopper, a scene-stealer. Well, unless you count my novels and some actual scenes reworked. V is for Voting, which I will be doing next week. The only writing that might mean something to this country, so there’s that, SIGH. Talk about things I ain’t doing, like… I’ll never tell.

V is for Victory… that’s funny! V’s For Very Willing

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 119 ~A High Maintenance Will~

WillLeave a comment

Another Day Off surrendered for forty bucks, yeah right, and then I came back and went to sleep. But, who needs a billion dollars and a fancy writing desk. I’m much better off unloading trucks and the stockroom. A High Maintenance Will

Wednesday, October 28, 2020

Gospel 119 ~A High Maintenance Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and with that kind of money, I’m not… hmm, I don’t have a word. Weird, Wicked, another term used to describe women, a Witch. Inspector Echo I have nothing but respect for women, with all my talk to M. Anime lately.

Well, that was until last night. I want to tell you what I said, but you know me. I’m staying “Family-Friendly” until Thursday, SIGH. I have no embarrassments to speak on other than “Talking Tables.” I hate that company profusely. I’m sweating like some druggie. Yet, since I can’t talk of one particular sin, I suppose Greed and Sloth will have to do. Even mentioning the seven deadly sins gets me to think of Eric Vall’s books. By tomorrow I’ll be done with another A.J. Markam title. Where does the time go and the dollars? Anyway, I should really focus on the hands of the clock, though. Did I mention how sweaty my hands are? Again it’s like I’m needing a good fix. Usually, I’m pretty damn cheap except when buying books or trying to be a better person ever.

Haven’t we spoken a time or two about how I refuse to buy store brands… for the most part. I’m nowhere near living large, but again where does all the money go, Inspector Echo. I’m sitting here cursing pizza, which is utter blasphemy. I worked on an off day too. Inspector, how much am I worth… an extra four hours, and what am I going to do with it? I’m more concerned about going on six hours that I wasted sleeping. Ok, so not all of them since again I’m 85% done with another novel. I even gained some enlightenment. Only now I’m not sharing because of Greed, Sloth, and let’s throw in some Pride to the mix. Yeah, like I don’t share all my other secrets for the world to see. I’m not better than anybody I know it.

Only this lazy, good for nothing boy, I treat better than the man I ought to be. I mentioned Marvin Gaye and Teddy Pendergrass. At the Day Job, beside them, I listened to some “decent” affirmations for all the good that did. I found out a “favorite” website got axed.

I’m sorry, Inspector Echo, who I am, is such a cheap date and high maintenance. Contradiction, A High Maintenance Will

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 118 ~Will To Be Heroes~

WillLeave a comment

Wasn’t it this time last week, I complained about not having dinner yet? It’s because the blankets have been over my head and the slow jams crooning in my ears. Somebody once sang that Love is the answer, but I’m more old school. “Will To Be Heroes.”

Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Gospel 118 ~Will To Be Heroes~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I can stand to fly. Now I’m not like one of these “religious” people who need 4 jets. My Love, as the song goes, “It takes two, baby.” I want a personal one for work and, um, the one they talk about in Nickleback’s Rockstar.

No wonder I’m not hearing a whole lot these days. One more reason that I’m glad you can sing. Of course, I’m not John Legend, Tech N9ne, Hopsin, or B.o.B. I’m not even Wayne Brady. What about Marvin Gaye? I’ve been listening to Marvin a lot lately, with this world. It’s one of the reasons I should be listening to Teddy Pendergrass. The man was speaking to us and everybody else. I can go from “Come Go with Me” to “Wake Up Everybody.” Now, do I call him a hero?

On the one hand, I dared to talk to you, baby girl, um yeah. On the other, what am I doing to help the world? I’m just now waking up in more ways than one. What can I say? I love the things I do now, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t want to take a nice nap always.

It’s hard being a man sometimes. Know in no way am I discounting women. For a minute, I was about to jump on the “Trump Train” shudders. Yeah, I’m going to Hell, but I’m nowhere near that EVIL. I wanted to say, you’re my wife, we got children and Dæmon. Now my point is if I can ever get around to it. I’ve said this before that I’m a man of many hats. I want to be king of the castle… or I can pretend. I want our life together to be an adventure, Indiana Jones theme. With COVID, Alpha’s right, “we’re all monsters now.” It is pretty close to Halloween, and I want to take the kids to Trick or Treating too. My mom did that for my sister and me. I don’t know what they want to be, but I thought about all the hats and masks I don’t wear. Being a Handyman, fedoras, man in the mirror.

I talk about being king, but I’m no prince charming, no knight in shining armor, a soldier. I’m nowhere near Superman. Only You Make Me Better. In the darkness, our LOVE, Will To Be Heroes.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 117 ~Choose The Truth Over Possible~

WillLeave a comment

Another depressing day, yep, it’s Monday. The truth is I’ve wasted today. While anything is possible, like me doing more… Of course I won’t, and why is that? The Walking Dead on my phone, good friends, or being lazy. “Choose The Truth Over Possible”

Monday, October 26, 2020

Gospel 117 ~Choose The Truth Over Possible~

Hundred And Fifty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so words like impossible shouldn’t even be in my vocabulary. Of course, it’s always staring me in the face come Sunday. This morning was the perfect example. The time I needed to get up, vs. the time I actually got up. Forty minutes early ain’t much, but it’s a start. To think I once made it a habit to wake up an hour and a half before my alarm; to read. While I ain’t accomplishing much, I have been reading 15% daily of whatever novel. So the question is, do I still believe in this rule?

“To the edge of the universe and back, endure and survive.” – The Last of Us

One of my motivations says, stop thinking about what you can get away with. Instead, you should ask yourself how much can you bear. At this moment, I’m tired, but I will go on. I should rest, but it’s possible to keep going and why? All the things I can’t talk about. As the song goes, Almost Doesn’t Count. The truth is, I could have finished Far Cry 5, Heavy Rain, even This War of Mine. So why didn’t I? I did say before there are so many endings? Hell, sounds like one of my novels, but we’re not there Justice. Entertainment value and everything else. Am I not entertained? Now the truth is pretty dark. No, I’m not entertained in this life, and if I wanted to… No, the possible is I could be a great man, only a man.

I will forever be a traditionalist, a realist. Yes, I keep the truth from some people, but that doesn’t mean I have not accepted it. Still, I dare to dream for more; faith, hope, and love. Yes, I could be sleeping, but I woke up early, and I’m sitting here talking to you right now. I don’t have to do NaNoWriMo. The truth is I don’t want to because I’ll be tired and stressed. Every time I finish it, there is no great victory, only the mountain climbed and no way to get down. Editing sucks, Madam Justice, so I simply refuse to attempt it. However, what am I doing with GULP then? Will I even get to it today? The truth is no, but it’s there, and it’s possible.

Who am I, Les Brown saying It’s Possible. So my question, believing the rule is an act of 1984 “Doublethink.”

Choose The Truth Over Possible.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 116 ~Smells Like Will’s Spirit~

WillLeave a comment

There was a time in this life when I was all into pheromones, and for some inane reason, I still have a bottle of cologne sitting on the sink. My firstborn didn’t seem to mind my stench, but today is laundry day. “Smells Like Will’s Spirit”

Sunday, October 25, 2020

Gospel 116 ~Smells Like Will’s Spirit~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you’re no closer to buying some damn business. So today ain’t the day to talk about women you hate. At this rate, you’ll sound like Ian from A.J. Markam’s novel. We’ll get to that and many other reasons you’re down today. Presently how about some Disney Tangled or MLK? I’ve Got A Dream, I Have A Dream. Well, you did, anyway. There was burning rubber, a race between Morgan Jones, Victor Strand, and others at the old house. “Burn Rubber, But Not Your Soul” those words…

Hell, I smelled like death, which is why the first thing you did this morning was taking a shower. I want to say that I’ve been working on GULP. You know I did most of yesterday, and you’re rushing because you want some lunch and to read more A.J. Markam. Strangely enough, that only adds to the stench of disappointment. Now you are enjoying the book, but what Ian did to Alaria, as she would say, Oh My Goddess. Do you ever get the idea that everything is connected? Of course, you do, but there is so much out there. So to the last bit of shame, which you will see soon enough. I wrote something yesterday about how I feared my own words when it comes to writing for NaNoWriMo. Only it was her words yesterday. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Preparing My Plot For NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  5. I AM Writing A New Guild Intro
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus Lord 3, Eric Vall
    Completed

The stench of failure still permeates everything. Two wins are nothing, and how are you counting #4. Sure, I did pick out twenty idioms, I suppose, for fruit. The plot will be the deaths of Cherry’s clients. Still, there is no title, and that’s because of fear, I’ll admit to. Again you’ll say you don’t want to offend or scare anyone. When this conversation first began, how many times did you change the first two sentences? Now you’re researching for random Cherry text. Are you being tortured like Morpheus in The Matrix? I mean, hm? There’s that fire again. Maybe you’re more like Agent Smith because somewhere is the key to your next book. Ideas are bulletproof or, in this case, fireproof, which is one more reason you should get to typing. Only here this, not these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Writing My First NaNoWriMo Sentence
  5. I AM Writing A New Guild Intro
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus 3 – (The Good The Bad And The Crazy Stupid Hot) by A.J. Markam

Title Fodder

  1. Cherry,
  2. A Bowl Of Cherries,
  3. A Bite At The Cherry
  4. The Cherry On Top (Cherry On The Cake)
  5. Cherry-Pick
  6. Cherry Picker
  7. Cherry Pie
  8. Cherry Red

Well, I wasted another week, and hopefully, you won’t follow in my footsteps. When you’re me, NaNoWriMo will begin. Also VOTE!!! Smells Like Will’s Spirit

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 115 ~Wrong Wills To Write~

WillLeave a comment

The good news is I’ve been writing indistinguishable crap, and that’s when I’ve been writing at all. Apparently, I’m on some mad quest to remain “Family Friendly,” except on Thursdays. NaNoWriMo is coming up soon, so… Wrongs Wills To Write.

Saturday, October 24, 2020

Gospel 115 ~Wrong Wills To Write~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and no, I’m not dying anytime soon. Aren’t I dead already, considering what time we find ourselves here, 8:45 AM. I was on time at 4:00 AM. I didn’t have the WILL to rise. Dreaming left me so um, well discombobulated.

What was I dreaming about, you ask? You know I can’t tell you that. No comment until Thursday and by that day? The thing is, even in the dream, my mind knew that it was wrong. Geez, 1984, much? How about that movie, Fortress (1992)? Yet again, I can’t say. That brings me to today’s point, which will also have me sounding like a broken record. IMPOSSIBLE, IMMORAL, ILLEGAL! Only I did say nothing is impossible, or at least my Six Impossible Things. Only I’m not writing my book or anything else for real. Of course, my next novel will be typed, and that’s because I want a new T-Shirt. Hell, I’ll have to pay for it anyway. Still, when it comes to NaNoWriMo, I want to imagine that I EARNED it for doing something.

Like most of the things I create, it’s not like I’m eager to see it again. I’m worried I might lose my progress. One more reason I’m late this morning, my visions, my plots, and all my non-edited works. I’m starting to think that’s why I’m staying so um Family-Friendly.
I’m stopped from writing anything at all because, again, none of it is right. As I said yesterday, I would begin reading another A.J. Markam title. Ok, if other authors, artists, are somehow authorized to do it, why can’t I? An African-American man in America? You know how I’ve been saying, I have to stop listening to old white men, especially the two on stage? Even my music is under attack, Ice Cube, 50 Cent, Kanye West. No sign of Indiana Gone, but we’re still friends. Then all the others…

I don’t want to write anything offhand, off-topic, or offensive. No wonder my last conversations have been all over the place. Can’t talk about the songs I like, the books, or reasons for certain movies. Of course, there are plenty of worst things like Trump winning again, coming from M. Anime. What’s one good thing I can write about? Lady Lu, I’m grateful, but everything ties back into the bad. The Wrong Wills To Write.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 114 ~Willing The Story’s End~

WillLeave a comment

There was a time I would read with a former friend of mine, and she would absolutely refuse to read the next book in the series. Or something else from the author because she liked the first ending. “Willing The Story’s End.”

Friday, Oct 23, 2020

Gospel 114 ~Willing The Story’s End~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I must want to live forever. Well, considering I told my “Olds” no to early voting means I could have signed my death warrant. Once again, Lady Sophia, I’m voting on Nov 3, but will I be around to tell whoever that I did so?

You know that I don’t like anyone on the ballot, to be honest. I despise MAGA hats. On top of all that SIGH, I hate my “father’s” name appearing on the phone. How about wasting time seeing where he and my mother were going? Day ruined, and it’s 9:00 am. What else do I hate reading? Besides his name and the time. I give you this Lady Sophia, “Lord of the Flies,” and “The Moonstone.” Two books I couldn’t get through the first 50 pages. Does that mean I’m STUPID, that BORED? Would the ENDINGS be worth all of it? Even in my novel, I still mourn the deaths of a family. In the second, I grieve for a dead girl and an upcoming marriage. Despite everything, I always figured I wanted to be in love and be a family man. Only that wasn’t the story’s end in any form.

So why all the talk of endings I don’t want to see? I guess it starts with last night. Being the loser I am, it’s been a while since I’ve been on a midnight “Drive.” Yeah, right, it was 7:00 pm before the debate. Anyway, I was scared you’d be reading I got smashed up good. What would M. Anime think about that? I haven’t talked to Indiana Gone forever. Still, being a married, social working college student doesn’t give much time to gab. If anything, I’m only hoping that I don’t scare M. Anime off. I’ve known her longer. However, I wish Eric Vall’s book was a bit longer, but he’s written a series of about 17 of them and even more titles. Of course, Sunday, GULP will still sit unpublished. What about all of my other series waiting?

I don’t fear failure Lady Sophia; I fear the endings. The last one I ever witnessed was Detroit: Become Human, and how many ends does that have again? Hell being a writer, means that I want to be immortal. Eternal, “Always and Forever,” a song.

You and me, um three hours. Willing The Story’s End

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 112 ~Will And His Wrench~

WillLeave a comment

Today was spent assembling rolling carts and the like with a Canadian gentleman. Don’t ever tell me Canada is “a nice place,” but then again, living in the US… yeah, where’s my passport? “Will And His Wrench,” there are several in my plans.

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Gospel 112 ~Will And His Wrench~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m sure I have a few handymen on call. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, being “Family-Friendly” SUCKS. On family, I remember something my “Father” taught me. If you want something done right, do it yourself, yep.

Well, that was in The Fifth Element, too, where I learned that lesson. Now my Mother and Father’s teachings were this. I’m worthless, I better fix it, and how to shut my mouth. A new game system, setting my sister’s TV, the dæmon napping away. Unfortunately, that’s what I was doing most of today, sleeping. If I were smarter, I would have told the Day Job to go to Hell, but instead, I went in. The question; is something wrong with my bed or something wrong with me, as I can’t stay awake for anything. Another signal of my ongoing depression, which is still an excuse. How dare I call it depression as I’m humiliated at the Day Job always. No, I’m only lazy and STUPID. I don’t intend to be so down on myself. I have no real coping tools, really Inspector Echo, SIGH.

Speaking of tools, I’m still looking at the dining room table in utter disgust and contempt. It’s all my fault, no doubt, the burn marks on the wood. I’ve told you how much of a “Scrooge” I am, haven’t I? It’s only October so let’s go with Brewster’s Millions, Inspector.
I haven’t bought an ironing board since when? Hell, I won’t even go out to buy lightbulbs, and I wonder why I can’t see… uh, the light. I am sitting on a thousand dollars, and I won’t spend a penny; why. We know why and I can’t talk about it ever. If I’m being good. Let’s stick to the sins of SLOTH and GREED. Besides talking to you, I am still reading with no thought of the time. 15% every day is my quota. What am I learning about Inspector Echo? Knowledge is power, but none of what I know helped me fix the table.

I am gaining insights into my novel. More like what to steal, but Eric Vall is a great writer. I’m thinking along the lines of some customers getting blackmailed or murdered. And one more thing, none of this makes any sense to you, Inspector. Sorry.

Only, Will And His Wrench

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 111 ~Hoping That’s Butterflies Will~

WillLeave a comment

It’s getting a bit breezy, so I haven’t seen any butterflies lately. I had a bit of a stomach bug last week, and I know that’s TMI. Plus, I haven’t had dinner yet, but what am I in the mood for? Yeah, like it matters. “Hoping That’s Butterflies Will”

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Gospel 111 ~Hoping That’s Butterflies Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I can afford doctors like Trump, I reckon. You know I become such a baby when I’m sick. Even My Dæmon (the little Imp) has dragged a blanket over to me. One more reason our two-legged kids won’t meet their granddad on my side of the family. He made me puke on the tea-cups, honest. Now usually, I don’t talk about stomach stuff. Cleaning up after the Dæmon is enough. So I was listening to Michael Jackson’s “Butterflies” and thought, “funny feeling in my tummy.”

When I first saw you, as an example. So, I’m not one to kiss and tell, but I sent a girl a picture of a Butterfree from Pokémon. What, she spoke about butterflies, so I shared some lyrics. I never even got a kiss, but you were the first one to understand me, My Love. With you, I felt the butterflies once more. Hell, we even danced to the song Butterfly from Crazy Town. I still can’t believe that. I couldn’t dance with Indiana Gone at her wedding. Yet when it was You And Me… I’m going to reminisce about every song heard My Love. “Fear is the heart of love” as I Will Follow You Into The Dark played. Good thing I wasn’t drinking then. It would have made me braver. A stomachache, either because of the booze. Or the fear, but I didn’t want to mess up your dress. That was quite heavenly.

Once upon a time in my sad days, I had the Day Job, and I was sick every morning. I couldn’t eat breakfast, and I would take a bottle of water and Sprite to work. Now to live a dream within a dream. And let’s say that my appetite has improved in every way imaginable. Maybe I’m hungry. With the novels I’ve been reading, the third thing that’s the most talked about is food. You know I’m a traditionalist, but I believe women should do whatever they want. My mom was in business; only she could cook up a storm. McDonald’s was a stable of my bachelorhood, to be honest. I’ll never say no to a Big Mac or a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Filet-O-Fish sandwich? I’m “Coming Home To You” Baby Girl but the way to my heart…

I’m the typical guy babydoll, Nah. Hoping That’s Butterflies Will

I Will Have No Fear