Tag: Log

Log 054 ~Staying Ahead Of Will~

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Last week I wasn’t sitting in bed and now; cut me some slack, I was up at 5:15 AM, the firstborn is walked and medicated, I even left to get some gas for the old car, and I’m not playing and “other” games. “Staying Ahead Of Will.”

Saturday, August 24, 2019

Log 054 ~Staying Ahead Of Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but I should have been a long time ago. Today I’m ahead of the game but only by an hour or so. You know one of my best motivations says to wake up at 4:00 AM. It’s not like I haven’t before, and I even got around six hours last night. As if I need more temptation to fight. Jennifer Lawrence, Lily Bowman, Haley Pullos, and Girls Gone Plaid. Hell It’s not even 6 AM yet, and I’ve hit on a celebrity. Speaking of which I said, “I’ll be your Adam if you’ll be my Eve.”

Head games and mine still hurts from Walmart. It’s all in your head as THEY say, so I’m trying not to think about it, Lady Lu. Here we are though but still no bruise. I know better than to go to WebMD. Next thing you know I’ll find out I’m dying. We all are, no doubt only I might be sooner than most. As I said temptation and I should add Madison Page from Heavy Rain to the list. She’s the closest I’ve gotten to porn looking up that chapter “Sexy Girl.” Now You know I hate to lose anything on purpose but seeing video game boobs? One step closer to the grave Lady Lu. If I had to add up everywhere I can’t go and can’t eat or drink these days; the Grim Reaper would have no trouble finding me. Businesses that support Trump, Walmart sucks like Target now. An Icee reminds me of a particular dog. Chicken sandwich wars and everything in-between SIGH.

My body feels like it’s on fire. Yesterday I climbed back into bed after breakfast for a twenty-minute snooze. Bullshit (LANGUAGE) I know but I’m a damn addict when it comes to sleep, sex, and STUPIDITY. If I haven’t mentioned it before, that girl Nour from Bury me, my Love is hot. It could be so much worse, Lady Lu. You know I could get back into playing Virgin Roster or Casual Romance Club. There was also a specific game that got banned a few months back. I know you don’t judge but other people will. With that in mind, I’m 90% done with “Raphael,” and you know what the Catholic Church does. Stuff I can’t conceive, but this morning I have my firstborn waking up. Staying Ahead Of Will

I Will Have No Fear

Log 051 ~Will And The T-800~

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It’s not often I go into overtime and I could come up with over a dozen reasons for the dream I had last night, hell even more, as the song goes What’s My Age Again, but I don’t want to think about it. Will And The T-800

Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Log 051 ~Will And The T-800~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, but there are still things I won’t tell my Dear Future Wife. As for today’s temptations, Angie Varona; how I like daddy’s girls. School of Bondage, for some reason Cherry reminded me of that with her poem; ahh sadism. Sarah Connor from Terminator but I’m sure you caught that reference. I did listen to my motivations today and did Brainbuddy. Anyway, let’s talk about last night. What about today, the usual, humiliations galore. Hell if something happened to my father, yeah think I’ll shut up now.

Anyway so I had a dream it started with me waking up with Sarah Connor in my lap. Okay typical for me except GASPS a blonde? Um, Jennifer Lawrence, Chloë Grace Moretz, Sabrina Nichole, etc. Well, Sarah says that we need to go and so dressed we take off in this old car. Next thing you know we’re both freezing in ice but still driving until we get to that town from Gremlins. Sorry for not looking up every 80’s reference. It’s Christmas, and we’re hiding from The Terminator. We’re running in the snow while building snowmen and igloos. So the T-800 suddenly sounds like Captain Hook. From Hook talking about flinging daggers at our children’s doors. Now I’m Data from Star Trek: Next Generation and I’m angry, and I come in swinging waking up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zt-c3n4ttD0

How is this dream even a sin you must ask? Well, I had lots of time to think. I heard this song today that said: “there’s no trust without shame.” So ask me who do I trust? My firstborn of course. Indiana Gone and I watched “Of Inner Demons” once, and even she doesn’t know everything. Cherry who’s twenty-two by the way still has her fascination with the movie Lolita and her fantasies. Okay now that’s out of the way I think this dream was about “THE DAY.” The worst day of my life which is coming up fast. Take, for example, The Terminator which made’s it’s debut in 1984 WTF. Gremlins, a coincidence, the same year, didn’t I say dreams give you messages. Star Trek TNG was 87’ to 94’ my sister would have been one by 1991 which is when Hook came out.

As far as Sarah Connor she’s a blonde who went brunette and then grey and is still in The Terminator franchise. I’m going into overtime Inspector Echo because I am fascinated. The cold could be another sign of age. The snow could be ash. I remember freezing and not seeing much of Sarah though she was around. I’ve always said if I had a terminator and a time machine, I’d go back to THE DAY. I wouldn’t hurt my mother, but as for myself, Terminator 2: Judgment Day 1991. Could this be about my sister?

Her Day is on the 8th. Did mom give birth to a monster or Gremlin? No, I don’t beef with my sister; anymore, I adopted my firstborn because of her. Am I too cold towards my son? I was ready to fight and die to defend him. His age, perhaps, I want my firstborn to have a family, but time is not on his side. The whole dream could be about metal, didn’t I talk about cars a few days ago, hooks, machines, hardness. I’m on No Fap once again. I’m not counting wanting to see Haley Pullos’s boobs or looking up “Of Inner Demons.” No porn for this man Inspector Echo. I’m an old man, a retired model looking to win the war of my future. Am I… Forgive Me; Will And The T-800.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 050 ~Will’s Hot In Here~

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All these people complaining about the heat, my idea of hot was walking through Hell only to reach the light at the end of the tunnel if that makes any sense, but didn’t they say the road to heaven is paved in hell? Will’s Hot In Here.

Tuesday, August 20, 2019

Log 050 ~Will’s Hot In Here~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and I didn’t invest in hoodies. You know what my business entails but let’s stick to the family-friendly. I never imagined that I would be that man getting mad over the thermostat. When it was only me and my firstborn, I was still confused about changing the temperature. I haven’t thought about the ant problem from once upon a time. Anyway, I want to talk about the things that make me hot; that’s pretty much you.

I don’t mean to sound crass. You know, even now when I want to ask you a question. I’m always expecting you to say you have a boyfriend, a husband. Lucky me isn’t that right? I could call you beautiful, marvelous, unforgettable, perfect. If anything, that means I need to burn my thesaurus. Speaking of books and everything you know I read, a woman that reads. The fact that we can have three beautiful daughters named Katniss, Tris, and Ember. You get those three references, The Hunger Games, Divergent, Article 5. I’m more an Ellie Goulding fan than Alicia Keys but my Girl On Fire. That’s what I think every time I hear you sing. Yeah, I don’t have the voice for it anymore, but for you, I would try. Should I break out my Alita: Battle Angel impression again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcEH7LJrOQc

Again I’m lucky I married an angel because without you they’re never going to let me in Heaven. Not that I’m planning on going very soon or have I chosen to believe. In all honesty, I never turned on an oven or a crockpot without a girl being the cause. I never ate out, hell I would rather say I was sick. Though a woman hot enough to make me brave the kitchen. One that I’ll go out in the sunlight for or brave candlelight. I like chicken soup but tell me you can do Campbell’s Chunky Grilled Chicken & Sausage Gumbo. Add some grilled shrimp and ghost pepper sauce, the way to this man’s heart. Sometimes I believe you’ll get me so mad though Hell will freeze over before I speak again. It does, and then the next second I’m hot for you all over again. Okay, I’ll stop.

You know I wrote a whole novel about the world ending in fire. Another type of heat you reading it sigh Will’s Hot In Here.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 049 ~The Greatest Teacher Failure Is~

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Master Yoda was wise, but the Jedi were wrong and didn’t I sell all my Star Wars games at somewhat, “Indian Gone” would gasp. Hey, I like money and what do I do with it anyway. “The Greatest Teacher Failure Is”

Monday, August 19, 2019

Log 049 ~The Greatest Teacher Failure Is~

Ninety-Eighth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, but not a billionaire. If you don’t know me by now as the song goes, I’m obsessed with money. Second is porn, and the third is making a list. Didn’t I say I need to record my temptations? Downloading a Riley Reid Porn and searching American Teen Lily Carter. As for globally, there’s this European model Alissa. What is it about brunettes or girls with dark hair? Not that I can leave out Kagney Linn Karter. Anyway, the fact that I’m talking to you Madam Justice is a victory.

Only today I’m supposed to talk about failure. In all honesty, all I’m getting is try harder. Should I listen to my motivations that always say, be grateful? One more list to put down. Every Sunday, I have my Six Impossible Things, which is true enough. Of those six currently, I’ve failed one. It’s Monday, and I didn’t renew my Firstborn’s membership. So I’m blessed to know exactly where he is, in his home. I didn’t read last night, but I’m ahead. I could still lose myself in a pornographic haze, but we’re having a conversation. I’m not looking at hundreds of emails. How about I can remember enough of my last read book to write a review. Yes, I fail plenty, but each day I should be thankful that I get another shot but yeah that list to write.

  1. Firstborn
  2. Writing
  3. Money
  4. Porn
  5. Lists
  6. Gaming

Money only edges out porn, and I’ll tell you why. I didn’t buy any TTB videos yesterday. The Cosplayer still has videos. Again I’m ignoring. I didn’t take money from my most significant investment to date heading out Nevada way. Talk about a failure I’m still cringing over. I hate letting pretty girls down. Here’s another list for you Fear, Failure, and Fapping (LANGUAGE). I’m always afraid, so I hate myself. Fapping, of course, feels fantastic, but the moment after I get failure. I despise failure but again a great teacher. Remember Detroit: Become Human when Connor died, and I dealt with it. In Heavy Rain, Ethan got arrested, and I restarted that part of the game. So I learned what not to do, or I learned losing still irks me somewhat, I don’t know. Like Think And Grow Rich?

My life is failing; will I start learning? The Greatest Teacher Failure Is

I Will Have No Fear

Log 047 ~Will And Another Day~

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It’s not perfect, and never happy; I lost track of what’s normal a long time ago, but at least I’m not sitting in bed having this conversation, I got out of my room, sitting at the dining room dreaming of better. “Will And Another Day”

Saturday, August 17, 2019

Log 047 ~Will And Another Day~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now and still can’t tell how I feel. Didn’t I say a couple of days ago that, money is presence? One more reason that I’m not Trump; I have higher aspirations. Morals, a mother, a lot more money. So what am I doing to live up to such standards? The Day Job is always another day. Hell Lady Lu at least I’m not grunting most of the time. Going to work leaves me braindead and does that beat being horny as always.

It’s been a day and some change. I know you think I’m a pervert but here’s a list of temptation. I saw Nour from “Bury me, my Love” in her underwear; boobs, I swear. Jada Jinxx is offering her collection of videos for $20.00. Haley Pullos, liked I quoted that song “Sunflower.” I’ve seen Riley Reid dressed as a schoolgirl. Oh, and I’m still fiddling with that pornographic coin I bought. Come on, Lady Lu even Think And Grow Rich speaks about sexual influences if used the right way. Again I could list all my heroes that used such passions. Everything I do is on the premise of getting girls out of their clothes without paying a dime. Something better, getting others to pay me to see them. Books, Brothels, booking modeling sessions of course.

Any day that I’m not living such a dream is ANOTHER DAY. When I was at the Day Job, I was looking for a way to be brave. Again I quote this song, “so don’t be brave, have a little common sense.” What about “if it don’t make dollars, it don’t make cents.” Somebody else said, “chasing hoes don’t get you paid.” I want to be the third little piggy if you know what I mean “The ROC “Just Fire.” Music is a blessing, Lady Lu, but I didn’t stay in bed as usual. It isn’t a blessing knowing or being scared of what’s going to happen next. Glass half full or half empty, if anything there is only the glass. At least today, I have choices if my body holds up. Again the Day Job is work, humiliation, sleep, conversation, repeat; what about today?

I have a shot at three impossible things today. I could flip a coin. Wasn’t I looking for a way for “money” to turn me on? Will And Another Day

I Will Have No Fear

Log 044 ~The Shape Of Will~

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Last week I spoke a bit of looking down, and it seems like I’m still doing that, whether it be my phone, naughty books, or my wallet; hip to be square or more like a rectangle, not the worse of all shapes though. The Shape Of Will

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Log 044 ~The Shape Of Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, but not a star. Can’t say I miss Super Mario because my princess is always in another castle. There’s also the fact that I’m not feeling powerful. Where was I supposed to be at this moment in my life? Now if anything I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Should I apologize for ripping my heart out? I’ve been much too busy looking “down there” at the moment. At least it’s still in my pants, but it’s getting hard and pretty damn embarrassing; okay stopping.

Let’s get to what has me bent out of shape. Video games should be fun and a way to relax, right. I like Heavy Rain and all, but yes I’m out of practice and out of shape. Shaking that controller this way, and that has me breathing hard. At least it’s better than watching other people play. So what about watching other people fuck (LANGUAGE)? The first week is always the hardest, like any rehab. Still NoFap but not even hiding the fact that I’m watching porn. Hell Inspector Echo I wasn’t lasting three days when I was abstaining or trying at least. As for the “real” thing, I didn’t cave into the cosplayer. I’m still waiting to hear from Alice. I even started looking for a new “maid,” talk about a business opportunity SIGH.

As the song goes, it’s hip to be square. Only again, Heavy Rain isn’t helping; I saw Madison’s boobs. I’m reading another Tillie Cole book, “Raphael.” Should have learned from “Sick Fux” the author loves the taboo. Now If I could only go back to the nights of softcore porn watching. Inspector Echo, my life’s a cycle, a circle if you will; wake up, conversation, pretend to live. My son and I are in a rut. These are his golden years he should be enjoying himself. I keep saying I’ll give him everything but a million dollars in two weeks? Yes, I am ashamed of myself, there’s no way around it Inspector Echo. Could it be a love triangle? Yes, Tupac got around but as for myself. From the MILF to Mr. International, to the Stars. Yesterday I even went back to some erotic gaming.

So I am sorry life has me so warped and twisted. These past two weeks have been, again hard. I’m finding The Shape Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 043 ~Will To Be Ordinary~

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I’m anything but ordinary which is terrible; I know you’re much more than average which is a real blessing, like “Beauty and the Beast,” both different but somebody wanted Belle, and I don’t want you to see me like this? Will To Be Ordinary

Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Log 043 ~Will To Be Ordinary~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and anything but ordinary. When I talked to a friend about my dream girl a.k.a you well you’re anything but typical. Open mouth and insert foot, right. Like something out of Firefly; Simon and Kaylee. Anyway as I was telling my friend, such and such, Nuclear Pop, Star Wars, Sci-Fi, Zombies. Hell at the moment I want you to tell me I didn’t dream up this or that. Better if you could help me find the note. Not that I’m making you my assistant or anything.

My wife, you’re my wife, that’s how I wake up every morning. Sort of like that dude who woke up from surgery and called his wife “eye candy.” Pet names all day, everything under the sun, my angel, my queen (minus the knife,) my miracle. Every day I don’t see you take off when I make jokes like that. How I’m only now getting into Game Of Thrones, and you’re still here. Honestly the first time ever I saw your face. One of these days I’ll stop speaking in songs, movies and TV, memes, and YouTube. I wonder how you would feel about that my love. Being a husband is still new to me, and I’m learning. I can’t say I’ve had many examples, one more reason we don’t visit most of my family. When we met, I’ll admit the last thing I was thinking about was gaining a wife.

I was thinking of Perfection, and that’s not right. In a way, I suppose I give myself more flaws because I wanted you so badly. Holding hands, dinner dates, meeting the folks, could only be my anxiety. The simple things, typical, shallow, only ordinary. Would you be one to survive a zombie apocalypse, a purge, some other world catastrophe? It always comes back to if I were the only boy, and you were the only girl. How I need something scarier than the man I am. One of the few times I didn’t stand by tradition asking your parents for your hand. Blessing, sure, and even that I can live without baby girl. That’s because we have blessings despite how I make money. Your beauty, your heart, the woman you are is more than ordinary. Ironic isn’t it that I want to be ordinary somehow.

Love shouldn’t be, why have the Will To Be Ordinary.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 042 ~Live Like There’s No Tomorrow~

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Am I going back to that, the world is going to end in “five minutes” mentality; if died today I would be embarrassed at everything, well other than reading another Tillie Cole novel but anyway. “Live Like There’s No Tomorrow”

Monday, August 12, 2019

Log 042 ~Live Like There’s No Tomorrow~

Ninety-Seventh Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, but I didn’t do two girls at the same time. Now that’s only for starters for if tomorrow never comes? Well, I’ve thought about that plenty of nights. Most nights I don’t ever plan on the morning. Okay, my knives and my car alarm say differently. Those are more for my son, though. My motivations say to start every morning with gratitude. I’m grateful Madam Justice I am. Still, I sometimes imagine waking up and starting all over again.

Do any of us wake up and live the day we would be proud to die? So I wake up this morning to the TWD Rewards people treating me like I’m STUPID. Until only now, I had forgotten about that concern. Besides talking to you, I could use a cappuccino and a slice of cheesecake. Worrying robs you of the joy you might have so I owe myself a slice. You know the days are wrong when you pray for a zombie apocalypse. Hell, I want the days I stand a chance in if anything. Again living those “five minutes” and the world comes to an end. I’ve lived far too many suicidal days. There was the day I had Taco Bell and fell asleep downing Nyquil pills attempting an overdose. I’ve starved myself for at least a week, and nobody gave a damn. I’ve studied poisons, weapons, I write dystopias ha. Ironic, I see tomorrow for everyone else but myself; I don’t live now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fqUrOuaPTE

If I could have today again, picture it as so. I wake up next to my beautiful wife. I go to my office, and we talk well more like Lady Sophia and me because it’s a Friday. My wife and I make love in the shower, and then she cooks breakfast. We both see the children off to school, while my firstborn does patrol of the Estate. I pop in on a few of my brothels see how business is going. I visit my studio and work on a movie. Then it’s off to interview the newest crop of models. I pick up my kids, and they tell me about good days at school. Home-cooked dinner, in a loving home. A book before bed then me and my wife ravish each other. Who would need another Saturday? Never enough time right Madam Justice but to Live Like There’s No Tomorrow.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 040 ~Will And The Labyrinth~

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My life isn’t as interesting as Labyrinth and no way as sexy as “The V Game Series;” it’s only me against the wall continually smashing my head against it, and I’ll break before my Facebook Wall but then again? “Will And The Labyrinth”

Saturday, July 27, 2019

Log 040 ~Will And The Labyrinth~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now; can’t you see? Isn’t it ironic that it’s what I want everyone to know? Still these days the people that are looking at all. It’s the people who are making me out to be a clown. Besides Facebook, somebody attempted another hack last night. Those are the scariest, but the worst is from my son, my nephew, hell the man in the mirror. How I talk to myself all the time but please don’t let me be walking by a mirror and see myself, that’s terrifying.

I finished that book Beauty in the Broken by Charmaine Pauls yesterday. My life though feels a lot like something out of The V Games Series though. It’s a maze, and I’m fighting while everyone watches. I’m waiting to see which one of my sins is exposed first? What about people, running into my sister a few days ago. I go to the same restaurant for some reason feeling an obligation. Don’t get me started about September. I’m not a man of my word. October, of course, is “Indiana Gone’s” wedding. I’ll have to put my trust in someone to watch my kid. Dammit, I don’t even like saying his name anymore. The things I love are often weapons against me, that quickly. Sometimes I only want to disappear. Do I sound suicidal again, Lu?

I’m trying Lady Lu. I’m trying so hard to find other ways. It can’t be porn anymore; you saw how fast I gave in days ago. Even now thank you Instagram I found out about St. Mackenzie’s (School For Girls). It’s the things that bring us the closest to death that somehow grant life. The question is, how close do you want to get to such. Again last night, I started a new game, “Heavy Rain.” I feel so much better watching and playing than doing anything real. There was also the fact that I thought my PS4 had problems. I was looking at how I’m going to get to Indiana Gone’s wedding, a little vacay perhaps? At this rate, I’m giving out to much information you think. Everyone is looking, or one. Could be a damn robot wanting to send everything tumbling down whenever.

The only way I’m getting over these walls is a ton of cash. And not bouncing on boobs or watching them: Will And The Labyrinth.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 037 ~Standing With A Willie~

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A great man once sang “stand up for your rights,” and someone else said if you won’t stand for something; well these two legs can take me places but my eyes are looking down, though things get an inevitable rise out of me. Standing With A Willie

Wednesday, August 7, 2019

Log 037 ~Standing With A Willie~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, and no my mind isn’t in the gutter. Okay, truth be told another cosplayer “Jada Jinxx.” We’ll get to the begging portion of the program soon enough. Today I want to talk about courage, the strength to stand. Hard when you can’t stand the man in the mirror; neither can they.

Up against the wall mother; yes, I looked that up. That’s how I was at work today, nowhere to go and nothing to do there. So I redid two of the walls of hanging crap, paintings, metal décor, etc. Staring at the wall meant I didn’t have to look at people. Not that I could even if I wanted to anyway. My eyes are conscientious objectors in this war for my life. On the other hand, they could be living in 3017. That’s me looking at the dirt or how long it would take me to find courage. Is it any wonder I write dystopias? How about the only life after death, I believe in is zombies? Anyway, so I’m working from one wall to the next. I’m getting all these backstabbers complimenting behind my back. Like I’m any better; should have seen me yesterday. Someone knocked on my door, and I had my knife behind me, saving people time.

You know for finding reasons to fire me at some point. In writing Inspector Echo, I’m an army of one. Army, again look at the title. I was channeling Ellie Goulding’s song. I wish I could say I had someone I counted on with all my heart. Yes of course B III but let’s look at humans. My “father” that’s more predatory dominance. I feel like less of a real man, depending on him. There, of course, is the job I despise. If I lose it, I’ll be wandering the desert with my dick in my hands (LANGUAGE). So yes this morning, the man in the mirror, well the shower SIGH. I’m still with NO FAP but the things I was thinking. There, now we can talk about the new girl or the others rolling around in my brain. Closing my eyes but still staring at a wall or the floor, Let’s say TWD is chock full of hot women.

Damn all these beautiful girls as the song goes, oh and work. Missed a huddle but Standing With A Willie.

I Will Have No Fear