Saga 255 ~Desperation Can Make Anyone Dangerous~

Desperate times, desperate measures? I’m desperate. If I had my way, I’d be with my boy. But I’m desperate enough to keep existing. Working a Day Job, which I hate. Watching dirty things, dealing with my Olds. “Desperation Can Make Anyone Dangerous.”

Monday, March 13, 2023

Saga 255 ~Desperation Can Make Anyone Dangerous~

Two-Hundred and Eighty-Third Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. That means I will never be desperate again. (Snorts Loudly). Have you seen most billionaires these days?

Hell! It’s like me trying to save my B III’s life again. Yes, I’m crying again. And I’m sure a tear or two is about him now… Time Travel, Madam. Those meds for his appetite… Desperate, like when Cherry was pulling off her famous red lingerie. What I would give to see her put whip cream on her nips. The way she took the treat in her mouth. Oh, fuck! I was desperate. It’s like that time I went to summer school. All I wanted was a D-average so my father wouldn’t beat my ass. He said it wasn’t even the money but the time. Fucking time. Again it’s Saturday, March 11, 2023, and what was I doing before two? Wasting time fucking… well, masturbating.

Other than prayers for B, crying for him. The way this heart shattered that day… Do you remember how I said I’d burn the world down if I blamed anybody? Other than myself? A monster, a murderer, I’m just a “man.” And is there worse? Um, The Last of Us… Madam. I mean that the show teaches that it’s not the Infected that are the monsters but mankind itself. I should know, right? Once again, what I want more than B III alive beside me… A woman, women? I want to be Dennis Hof or Hugh Hefner. Dark things. Like revenge, Madam? And I’m not trying to sound like some Incel freak. You know who I would punish. Um, me, the man in the mirror.

And yet I am desperate enough to try and save my existence. It’s why I still have the Day Job, isn’t it? I ignored Braxton because I thought he needed the money more than me. Madam. Every day I bawl up my fists and smash them into bathroom walls. Lockers? Hoping nobody in the breakroom can hear me. Such is my rage. At everything, everyone. I’ve given up trying to be a hero because hoping for something. Debated myself before. Sadness, Fear, Hatred vs. Hope. Rules four and five. I can’t die until Braxton’s book… This is why I’m desperate enough to ignore everything. A little bit for this conversation. Good Luck! Because I am always desperate enough to sin. Desperation Can Make Anyone Dangerous.

771 Days Without B III, Day 212 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 248 ~Living Reasons Are Dying Reasons~

I’m not fit to live, and yet I survive. Virgil is not Braxton, but so that B can live always… I could publish a damn book. And pornographic passions are always evolving. And at the Day Job. Who’s pissing me off now? “Living Reasons Are Dying Reasons”

Monday, March 6, 2023

Saga 248 ~Living Reasons Are Dying Reasons~

Two-Hundred and Eighty-Second Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, but unlike the assholes in the GOP, I have studied “my” history, black history like MLK Jr.

Rover… Oh no, I’m not comparing any person or persons to beasts. Republican dickheads. No, I’m thinking about a Dr. King quote, “A man who does not have something for which he is willing to die is not fit to live.” You know what that was/is for me. Braxton. Can I not publish his two books already? Ensuring he’ll live forever, and then I am free to die. I sort of feel like doing that right now, time-traveling. And seeing to the… um, Virgil. For certain, though, if I could have given my life for Braxton’s… In a heartbeat, no questions asked. The things I survived because my boy needed me. Only, I couldn’t give him the life he deserved. And why, Madam? Strokin’, Rutting

Rut before when I was dead to the world. But rutting? And yes, I did look up the meaning of the word. Again that book “Mesmerizing Caroline.” Pornographic passions, language. Hell! Madam, if there is a hint of titties. I’m going to be a fanboy. Ask Cherry one day, ok. Next to my Braxton, women are the most beautiful things on the planet. Getting up? Madam, I promised Braxton I would find him a mom or a stepmom… fucking stop. Anyway, isn’t that the purpose of people? There isn’t one person on the planet. Not this moment I would give my existence for. But if B could find a way to love me well… A woman learning to value my life; maybe I can too.

Revenge ha? Or should I say, Justice Madam? I live to hurt myself. Only not in any traditional way. Thursday, February 16, 2023, The Cherry Collision. The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. Fuck! All the time, I spend wanking instead of writing. Even right now, geez. Sitting here on a Sunday afternoon, I’ve been looking up Lucy Tyler and Kiara Gold. Onlyfans will never net a profit (cough) $12.00 (cough). But with the money? Madam, I mean much more than that. I would go all The Count of Monte Cristo on the world. But who specifically… Careful right? Other than Braxton’s passing. My fault. Remember rules four and five. Hate will keep you alive. Love is worth dying for. Are those Living Reasons Are Dying Reasons?

764 Days Without B III, Day 205 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 241 ~Nice Guys Occasionally Do Win~

Why can’t you just be nice? I heard that in a movie… But I heard This Is America. It’s also not some Hentai, Reality Kings, Bang Bros, or Pure Taboo. And the only one I wanted to be nice to…. Nice guy? Not me! But “Nice Guys Occasionally Do Win”

Monday, February 27, 2023

Saga 241 ~Nice Guys Occasionally Do Win~

Two-Hundred and Eighty-First Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. So I think that automatically disqualifies me from being a nice guy. Like being broke helps, either.

If I were a nice guy, my son would still be alive. I would have burned the world for him. The thing is, I can’t imagine being a good person. Hell, can’t keep my dick in my pants to honor him. Oh, we’ll get to that, Madam. Today has been one Hell of an experience. Speaking of which, being a daddy again? I still think of Virgil as the freeloader. Not that I call him that to his face. But he is annoying me to no end these days. Training? It’s not his fault at all. Only there’s a reason I leave him alone in Braxton’s room for hours. Madam, I need to stop using that word… END. Aren’t I being nice to myself today?

I went to see the doctor today, and can you say humiliations galore? Wait Times… Anyway. Of course, I had to go because of Thursday, February 16, 2023, The Cherry Collision. Never forget! But I did forget The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. So OW! Perhaps I should save this for Inspector Echo. Only I have no shame. Needle meet ass. More antibiotics and a week’s worth of medication. And what happens after that, I ask. I wouldn’t even be in this situation if I were a nice guy. “Everybody know I’m a motherfuckin’ monster” as the song goes. Or do they? Doctor’s office, Day Job. I’m fucking weak, spineless, a victim. How long did I let them ignore me? How I apologized, groveled, and shit.

And at the same time, the lady who thinks I’m so nice… the things I would do for a chance. Again that’s the whole point. It wouldn’t be nice. Never can be. Appearing as such… Stupid. You know how I feel about that word. I rather take another needle to my ass? Or why not suffer for what happened to B? It’s not nice using his memory like this, Madam. But let’s say I could be the nice guy. What would be my prize? Playing pretend hasn’t netted me anything. When’s the last time I did something nice. Ulterior motives… Nothing is coming to mind. And existence is not a porno. I said that sometime last week. But there are places Madam, movies, manuscripts, memories… Nice Guys Occasionally Do Win

757 Days Without B III, Day 198 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Log 110 ~Nice Day For Will~

Is it sad that lying in bed and going to my friend’s wedding sound equally appealing but 750+ miles, like the movie Only The Strong one way or another I’m getting in that car and driving another three miles? Nice Day For Will

Saturday, October 19, 2019

Log 110 ~Nice Day For Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s a nice day for a white wedding. Well, how Indiana Gone tells it, more for a Hawaiian dress. She’s Lilo, and she found her Stitch. In honor of today, I want to keep things positive. Talk about the impossible right, sore foot, forgot my chain, spilled food in bed, no condoms, and so on.

I’m still worried about the house’s many flips from my father. Norton is getting on my nerves. My son is in the hands of strangers, getting his heart meds. What about the drive back, that’s no fun, not at all.

Even now, Lady Lu, I’m getting ready to drive over to the venue. Yes, I’m a control freak, and I have to make sure I can make it there and back. We’re talking three miles when I drove over 750 in one day. What about leaving all my stuff here, but I don’t trust any damn body (LANGUAGE). Did I offend The Bride last night, between my foot, forgetfulness, and fatigue? At least I won’t have to worry about dinner tonight, but I’ve barely kept anything down. I’m all for Subway and helping my fellow man, but I still threw away half a sub. So is that it, am I done complaining? I only want to get it all out before I head into this wedding this afternoon. I should smile my fucked-up smile (LANGUAGE). I did text M. Anime back and got myself ready to go. Lady Lu with today well, This Is It.

Funny, I think of Michael Jackson; I owe The Bride a dance. The weather is nice, and again with my foot, it doesn’t hurt so much. The bed here is comfy, and I did get a bit of breakfast. Now that was something I didn’t dare to do at the Courtyard by Marriott. I should feel like I’m ready to take on the world, well 750 miles of it, right. Even talking to you right now because I’m sure I’ll be entirely out of it by tonight. No drinking and driving Lady Lu; besides I drank with Indiana Gone once, one glass of wine, and I’m a lightweight. Later that night and that morning I was praying at the Porcelain Altar. Okay, I’m going to have fun today, I’m going to be SHUDDERS Happy. You should add “Merge” to my lists of dirty words, Luna.

Today, Nice Day For Will.

I Will Have No Fear