Tag: Novel

Chronicle 042 ~B Smart About It~

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I may not be a smart man; no, that’s it. B III was heart, gave me guts, and I ask myself if I only had a brain. B was asking for some kidneys. And I didn’t start learning about them until it was too late. Yet I read trying to “B Smart About It.”

Thursday, August 12, 2021

Chronicle 042 ~B Smart About It~

193 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You can guess how mine went considering we’re talking right now. Sorry, I’m so late.

Another one of many apologies me being late. Pretty damn late seeing you hurting Braxton. Everything I should have gotten to make your life easier, there was always another time. Braxton, I’m thinking about that accident I got into Monday that made me late returning. It’s not like you’re here waiting, but it’s the first time I was pretty anxious to get back. You know I would rather be in bed than anywhere else or on the couch reading. Again one more reason I’m late. I’ve been getting into the Great De-evolution series of novels. Talking about how the world ends, yeah, it wasn’t a bang or a whimper, not even a bark. When my world ended, it was only with your silence B III.

I told M Anime the other day that I can’t stand stupidity for stupidity’s sake. You weren’t dumb, B. You only thought the humans you knew were. I can’t blame you for that. Is that why you were so content to lie there as I read so many nights? I get you, helping me out. All you need know was I was there and so were you, and that was that, my smart boy B. How I once talked about Love for this and that girl. But what the hell did I know, B III. 15+ years to learn that word, Love. I didn’t believe it was a prize but a gift, um Aloe Blacc.
Love is a choice, at least to a certain extent.

I believe it is a form of madness as well. Only you found a way to have such peace, Braxton. Oh, I’m only “Human,” an “Ordinary Human,” with a “Human Nature,” um B stop me. Yeah, I could go on forever and a day. Still, on top of driving better, I write better with you. Now reading, I read “The Hauntings of Playing God” when you were here. Yet I’ve read about everything on the Great De-evolution since. A man and his brother, a man and his son. A teacher with her students, a man, and his cat. Guess what they all have in common. No wonder the guy decided to become The Last Astronaut, but he wasn’t so bright. Me, B Smart About It.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 035 ~You B Leap It~

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Might as well jump as the song goes. I do that a lot for and at the Day Job. I would jump to plenty when B III was still around. Now I barely crawl out of bed, and I’m “lucky” if I don’t go tripping down the stairs. Will I learn to fly? You B Leap It

Thursday, August 5, 2021

Chronicle 035 ~You B Leap It~

186 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Believe it or not, Wednesday wasn’t half bad. Of course, I got a half-day somehow.

I’m sorry about my, let’s say, baby language or garbled, terrible “puns.” I wish I could tell you about anything, period B III. What is it with Olds that makes us switch how we speak in an instant? So I recall when you weren’t much taller than my shoe. Yet I jumped, I leaped B. Even when you weren’t my son? I didn’t mean to go all “Billie Jean” there, but you know what I mean. When my sister was busy doling out orders because she had so much to do. It went from “let me sleep” to carrying you around. My Olds wanted to show their home, and I didn’t have your leash, and people wanted to see the house. You jump, I jump.

Braxton, you jumped so high, you made it all the way to Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, wherever. I was at the Day Job today, again Wednesday, but always I feel like I’ll be scared to death. I’m getting old in the world myself and wouldn’t mind dying on the fly. However, I know you don’t like me talking like that. How do THEY say if your friends jumped off a bridge… I don’t know if I’d follow Carolina Bound or M Anime but for you. There’s a reason I keep you above the weapons and by the closet. WWBD, always. Thursday, what would Braxton do? Now that’s something I should have jumped at, sooner, like Monday of YOUR last week. How about after your appointment?

I didn’t jump to the worse conclusion until the vet was calling me that Friday. I didn’t leap from my seat. I was nowhere near high enough to punch God in the face before asking him to save you. I wasn’t rich enough; I didn’t leap into action. There’s nothing. Only the “Space In Between Us.” B III I wanted to be an astronaut when I was young. When I got older, I wanted to be a fighter pilot. Yesterday I talked about all I wanted. Funny that I can tell you more about the circles of Hell than anything in Heaven, my B III. You weren’t here when I finished Jacob’s series. Do you think I’ll fly to you someday? You B Leap It

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 028 ~Million B’s To Ehh~

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It’s written that brevity is the soul of wit. With B III’s statute, should I have written a “short” story? So, I’m not funny, but I’m not a lot of things. I’m only human after all, and hopefully, I’ll have 50,000 words saying what? Million B’s To Ehh

Thursday, July 29, 2021

Chronicle 028 ~Million B’s To Ehh~

179 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day has been pretty busy writing, but of course, you’ve seen my condition before.

Well, um, I’m a bit worse for wear. I even talked to your aunt this evening, and she had to make sure I was eating. I’m not bathing, and I have barely made it out of bed, but again, you know I’m talking to you late. Past 8:30, so you should have your meds, Braxton. Speaking of some medication, I should probably take something myself. I already cleaned out those Jell-O shots. Now, how many times have you seen me drunk? You remember what that’s like. Remember the time you had the tick in your ear, and I carried you. Braxton, you couldn’t even get off the bed; that brings me right back to today. Tomorrow should be better, B. I’ll be finishing your novel.

I know what you’re thinking. For all the times I participated in NaNoWriMo, and you had to sit here and watch. I’ve written about 500,000 words total, and that’s with all of them. At 50,000 words each, that’s about ten books. In treats and French Fries, that’s not a lot. Braxton, if I had published and was successful, well, it would be all you can eat for yourself. I swear, B, I would buy a franchise and let you hang out. With that cute face of yours, let them try to complain about health codes. Or does a vest work in these situations, you think? I thought writing this book would be easier because I didn’t have to look up much of anything. Our lives.

You know how I say BLM, Braxton’s Life Matters. All about you, B, and if I wasn’t a disappointing enough Daddy, I’m a crappy writer. I’m always down, especially now, not that your story isn’t compelling. If anything, I only want to do it justice, and so far, B III. Hell, I was reading over it all day today. Well, I realized there is still a lot that’s left unsaid. Either that or I repeat myself again and again. The truth, what happened doesn’t change. Even if I were Shakespeare reincarnated, it wouldn’t help if I never share your story. This might even be the last page of it, Braxton. Reincarnation huh? I was saying I didn’t know why I wrote. Million B’s To Ehh

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 021 ~The Letter B Moves~

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What’s doing more blinking, the cursor on the page or my eyes. B’s who I miss the most right now, but that’s not what my book is saying. I can’t fail B this month as I did in January, but that requires me to get up and move. The Letter B Moves

Thursday, July 22, 2021

Chronicle 021 ~The Letter B Moves~

172 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Should I even try to tell you about mine? No, I haven’t even lived it.

Today is Tuesday, and I’m trying to stay ahead. Do you remember when you were sick? You don’t want to, right but let me get this out. If I could do it again, B III, I’d pick you up and rush you to Banfield Hospital right this second. Could they have saved you B III? Yeah, because I was much too busy. It’s been the theme of this week. There is so much to do, and when I have time, what do I do. Today I had to talk to two of the girls and get to writing your novel. We’ll get to that, but I believe you know what the answer is Triple B.
You’re not sitting under the table or in my lap.

All the time in the world B, and money, Ha. How many times did you hear me talking about writing? Now instead of books, I want to go right back to bed. It’s a miracle that I even got to the table today. Of course, by the time you read this, I’ll be right back there. Yes, the Day Job remains horrible, which is one of the reasons I am writing to you today. It’s like anyone asking me there, “How are you?” I should say “Pissed” and then “Wait.” It’s only a matter of moments before THEY do something to fulfill such a prophecy. “Daddy, what about me?” I hear you, Braxton; I do, but like the novel, I’m writing. Nothing moves anymore, son.

If it hadn’t been 172 Days, I would think you left only yesterday. I was telling Dear Future Wife, the mom you’ll never get to know, that the tears I continue to shed are cleansing. Um, it’s like I’m in ice, nothing can get to me between, bed, boobs, and you B III it’s cold. Braxton sometimes, I melt, and I go everywhere. It’s as if I overflow, but then there’s not enough of me to fill up any glass. The bed’s not going anywhere, and neither are you. I miss being a monk; that’s how you always were, my Pancake. I haven’t eaten anything. I have to keep the cursor moving; I don’t want to fall even further behind. Trying, The Letter B Moves.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 014 ~B III And More~

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Day XV now, and am I doing any better when it comes to my boy? I wouldn’t be asking that. If I had been 165 days ago? Yeah, Roman numerals aren’t my strong suit. I only needed to count to III before. Now I need 50,000 words for “B III And More.”

Thursday, July 15, 2021

Chronicle 014 ~B III And More~

165 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Sometimes I envy you not having to worry about what time it is, well until…

15 years 11 months. All you know is one day, there was a whole carton of fries for you and a bit of a burger. If your aunt was here, maybe she would make you a cake. Did I tell you I had lunch with her last week? I guess she didn’t want to make me too sad B III. That day she barely said your name Braxton, but I don’t blame her. As I said, you were a month shy of 16, and you would think I could give you this month. It was too fresh, last Camp NaNoWriMo, but I still got 50,000 words done. Now I’m lazy with 16 days to go. Braxton, I would apologize, but if I do that today…

Why only today? I have been telling you I’m sorry going on 165 Days with you gone. Hell 166 if we count the day that you left. I’m at the dining room table, and you’re not here, Braxton, on your pillow under it, waiting for me. What I wouldn’t give to speak to you B. Well, the COVID vaccine is free, or so I keep hoping. If I were to die… A dangerous concept I know, thinking about dying and all. Three needles helped you on your way, one to make sure, two to bring you peace, and the third sent you to the Rainbow Bridge. I got two Braxton. On that day, I said that “I got to Braxton.” I didn’t want your suffering.

You would have pretended always and forever if it stopped me from feeling this way. I’ve long since passed counting up the days from one stage of grief to the next. Only I’m never going to go into five. How could that ever be possible? Packing up your things B? Have you been watching me read The Man That Watched The World End? Ironic since I am that guy. You were about 79, and with how tired I’ve been, 82 sounds about right? Um, my point is, there is no way in Hell I could burn your stuff. B III they did burn you, yep. Wish I was there, Braxton. So yeah, another apology, how many is that which do nothing B III And More.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 007 ~B’s Dead To Writes~

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VIII days into Camp NaNoWriMo, and yep, I’m writing about B III now. Well, damn, the last six months, and I’m already so far behind. The vaccine does cause fatigue, doesn’t it? I’m still alive, and with my second dose, who knows. “B’s Dead To Writes”

Thursday, July 8, 2021

Chronicle 007 ~B’s Dead To Writes~

158 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’m sorry for the title card if they ever make your story into a movie.

Your story or ours, in case you’re wondering where I’ve been today. 2,200 more words down, and I know you’re thinking to yourself, Daddy should be further along than this. Do you remember the last NaNoWriMo we did, and we stayed out in the chill? Well, I did, but you didn’t want to leave me alone out in the darkness but Braxton, writings my life? Then why was I at the Day Job when you needed me the most? I despise those people, and then I came back, told you to shush, and went to sleep. You stood guard always. Braxton, I don’t mean to be rehashing all this, but I was working on your novel again. It’s still untitled. Beyond Boys: Braxton Barks Bradford.

No disrespect to the LGBTQIA community (that’s a lot of letters, ain’t it)? Anyway, all my titles seem to come off as GAY. Speaking of not, I talked to your aunt a few days ago, B. Have you seen her?

The last time Carolina Bound was around, I ordered onion rings at lunch, and you were peeved; I didn’t bring you anything. It’s the little stories like that which might make a good book, Braxton. That’s if I ever get it done, and I will; it’s for you after all. So was the album I never finished, and what about my tattoo? Oh, I’ve had my run-in with needles B with COVID-19 and all. I’ll never forget that you saw me through what THEY think was the worse year. 2020

2021, the only year that beats the one I was born into. Who knows B III? In all honesty, I was hoping the vaccine would do its worst, poetic justice. I shouldn’t talk like that. Living, I am alive, more like existing. But you saved my life more times than I can remember. I wish you could tell me what you want from me. Every day I remember the vet and that look you gave me as they told me the worse news ever. Smarty-Pants. Braxton, you said, “I want to go home. Can we go home, Daddy?” I wrote my name, and you ended up in a box. Will a book be any better? My B’s Dead To Writes

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Raphael’s Redemptive Rage Ravishment Review “Book Review”

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This is a long-overdue sequel to my review on The Fallen Genesis. Yet, it shows how long this story has stayed with me and how I still listen to the soundtrack from October… of 2019. Raphael’s Redemptive Rage Ravishment Review, when lust becomes love

Raphael’s Redemptive Rage Ravishment Review

“Chastity will cure Lust.” Raphael

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put aside childish things.” ― 1 Corinthians 13:11 (Bible)

Well, when I was a child, the name Raphael meant one thing. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles though I always thought of myself as more of a Donatello. Until I got clued in, I wasn’t that smart, so my thoughts on Tillie Cole’s book Raphael? I can tell you I liked it, and since I’m not one to waste time, I gave it five stars. Of course, that’s not why you’re here. It’s not for my philosophy on life or art either. So I promise you I’ll do what I can to explain the novel. How dare I, but okay, SIGH.

Raphael is the sequel to Tillie Cole’s novel The Fallen: Genesis. That’s the prequel to the Deadly Virtues series. I take it to mean that each story will be another of the Seven Deadly Sins. I know Ker Dukey is doing something like that too, but that’s neither here nor there. As far as Tillie Cole, I’ve read three of her tales. Sick Fux is still my favorite, but Raphael is in second place, no doubt. If you know my biases, you will understand why. I should add I’m not one for religion even though I am hoping for the second circle if there is a Hell. What guy doesn’t and you’ll have to excuse me, I lost myself in Far Cry 5 for a while. Is that why this review took so long? On that note, Raphael is full of lust with some madness and mayhem that I won’t give away until the end. So the first book in the series covered Gabriel; this is more of Raphael’s story.

“Hardships aged the soul even if the skin your body wore told another story.” Raphael

Now living up to the promises of the first. We see Raphael has come into his own as a man. Doing what seems to come naturally, he has become a proficient killer and is sent on the hunt by his big brother. Again there isn’t much bloodshed until such a point and time. And that’s because he comes face to face with his little rose. Maria, a nun in training who finds herself in the wrong place at the right time. A monster, a miracle, but a must-have for Raphael. Can’t say I fault the man at all because I liked her too. Now, I didn’t like the Brotherhood, which makes them the best kind of villains. If you told me such a group existed in reality, I wouldn’t argue. Oh yeah, they do, they’re called the Catholic Church. I also admire an author that will take a shot at the “faithful” at any time.

I am a fan of the His Dark Materials series of books, well the three I read. Haven’t I come up since then reading these types of stories? I guess you shouldn’t answer that. There are also a few excellent touches of BDSM in Raphael as far as Maria’s neck is concerned. She also comes with quite a dark past that she doesn’t want to look “BACK” on; that’s a hint. It is pretty gruesome. Yet nobody gets into this expecting everything to be sweetness and light. For me, it was another incredible take in an ongoing erotica genre motif.

“What must it be like to live a life of such darkness?” ― Tillie Cole.

For the most part, the novel speaks about Raphael and Maria. The two protagonists, a lust story that turns into a love story. I say lust gets a bad rap, but again it’s the second circle but the first where any punishment gets dealt out. We see that from Raphael and the other Fallen members. And The Brotherhood, as they begin to launch a counterstrike. I was quite excited to see how far this war would go. As anyone could have guessed with Raphael and Maria’s future trials. Their tribulations.

Except for being a killer, Raphael is a pretty decent human being. A man with a fetish for some lengthy hair, a lean neck, and long stem roses. He also frequents sex clubs. For ravishing good times, to reveal his psyche and his revelations. I’m not sure if they received mentions in the first book, but it’s what Gabriel has named his assignments. You see that in Raphael that every target is tailor-made for the brother who goes. I’ve heard of honor amongst thieves. And that was something that disappointed me about his character. I swear I turned lawyer as soon as “it” went down but still for Raphael to pull such a stunt. Yes, ladies, all men are that dumb when it comes to a particular girl. Another way of saying it would be, am I my brother’s keeper. Yes, I am, although I could name a few celebrities I know here or there.

“You have taken everything we are, the blood oath, our brotherhood, our commandments, and turned your back on us. All for a woman.” Tillie Cole

Maria, on the other hand, was portrayed perfectly. The naïve young woman with a past, a promise, and a pact with the Devil to boot. She is Raphael’s fantasy made flesh, and from the moment he sets eyes on her, they were both goners. The only problems she had were all the results of men. From the monsters who handled her to those, she found herself with eventually. Well, maybe not, but that’s for another story, I suppose. Maria made the perfect submissive. How it makes you think about religious women in general. She had daddy issues, but also the rest of the family suffered the same fate. The family issue is better, well no. Could we call it a suspension of disbelief with some of the calls she made in this tale? I’ll say so, but her love for Raphael, I swear if a woman found me so captivating, marriage wouldn’t be far behind.

Still, Raphael swore himself to his brothers and Maria well? There are reasons I don’t trust the church anymore, and no, I was never a catholic. I felt terrible for The Fallen, and it was upsetting that Maria gave in to how she lived such a life for so long. Together though, against the world, well, that’s the sort of love I know we all want. One more reason I read these types of titles, oh, and seeing The Brotherhood and The Fallen face off. Was that a spoiler, well I hope you’re ready for more, or you could stop right here if you like.

“Sin is simply due to the absence of love.” Raphael

Five stars all the way around and not only for sex. Yes, there’s horrific violence. Of course, none of that was aimed at Maria; did I say that out loud. She signed up for it when it came to Raphael, which wasn’t violence but their consensual kink. Right up until the end of the title.

“He was a sinner. He was going to hell. But he was sure this was how heaven would feel. Warmth and bliss and whole-body pleasure.” ― Raphael by Tillie Cole

Okay, OFFICIAL SPOILER WARNING, are you ready, are you? The sex is top-notch, but it’s the last bit when Maria is looking at death in the face. She wants to fulfill Raphael’s most fantastic fantasy. To be honest, I have told women some of mine. 50% of the time, it works every time, haha. Maria lives and “dies” his. If you don’t literally see that scene when you’re reading it, the fight with the Brotherhood. The Fallen standing together, how many movies wish they could set the stage so well. Puts me in The Matrix or John Wick, state of mind. To quote, Keanu Reeves ahem “GUNS, lots of guns” and other assorted hardware. At the very end, when Maria takes her place amongst The Fallen, how I’ve needed a sequel since yesterday. Now, I doubt they will ever make this a movie… did I mention the sex? Anyway, Tillie Cole has an excellent soundtrack.

So seeing as how I’ve given this novel a five-star rating, there can’t be anything wrong with it? Once again, I mention the lack of a sequel, and I’ve only read three titles from this author. Sick Fux will always be my favorite but never say never. Where could the author go with The Fallen? However, I would have thought there would have been more of a trial aspect. When Raphael broke the rules of The Fallen. That’s not a criticism, but I was already getting my arguments set up when it came to how they operated. If anything, it was a tad glossed over, um yep. It would have also been cool to hear about the rest of the Revelations. But again, there was a huge battle. There’s also the fact that it is set up ready for a sequel. I know I’m repeating myself but come on, we’re all still waiting and hoping.

If you’re what I think of as a “Holy Roller,” you’ll hate this book. I’m not one for hymns or spiritual music, but I would never have given it a chance if it wasn’t for this book. Yes, even I will listen to “Abide With Me.” You can even see the scenes in your mind in correlation to the soundtrack. Somehow I remained amazed that women like stories like this? Once again, not a criticism, only being a black man in America and I would never meet a girl like Maria. It’s like women searching for Prince Charming on the Disney Channel. Yes, the narrative is fictional, but one wishes. Interested, I hope so because this is a must-read. The type of story that stays with you and my word, how long has it taken me to get this full review out? I guess I couldn’t keep it to myself any longer. My idea of Raphael’s Redemptive Rage Ravishment Review

Gospel 031 ~I’m One Will Away~

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Another week has come to pass, and I’m still not going to bed at a decent hour. I know the way, but I don’t have the will to work and hell wasn’t I doing the Day Job this week and 5000 words the last one. I’m One Will Away, from going crazy

Saturday, August 1, 2020

Gospel 031 ~I’m One Will Away~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but do I have the will to stay there? Lady Lu, there’s what you have to do, what you could do, and what you want to do. As the saying goes, you know, will meet the way and all. My motivations ask, what do you want?

I have no passion for the Day Job, but I find the will to get out of bed and go. Tonight I’ll say, has been pretty decent and then my “father” called. Do I call it will or fear the reason I answered it? All the money I need to be saving and yet here I go again staying out longer. People talk about being an adult is all about making these choices. You do what must get done. Again my motivations say, if you do what’s easy, life is hard. If you do what’s hard, life will be easy. So that demands the question, what am I complaining about. Yeah, I hate the Day Job, but when I know where I stand with it… With my “father” hell, that’s accepting the worst-case scenario. For the record, he called me about “Quidditch” duh. I take it he wanted to humiliate me. Of course, staying out to go to McDonald’s is no damn good at all.

Now, what could I be doing tonight other than waiting for this new girl to break me? I could have been finishing Colleen Hoover’s book. What about emptying out my exploding email? I could try getting to bed at a decent hour, which already isn’t happening. No, I spent most of today sleeping, and if not, that I’ve been hard. I could have walked My Dæmon. I swear the boy is being quite the little trooper. Next week will be easy, but do I have the will to do what is hard dear Lady Lu.

You know what I want to do. I want to write books full time. One day I want to own a cathouse. I want women begging me to see them naked. One more reason tonight has been “excellent.” Still, I want my hands on my keyboard and not in my pants. I’ll even settle on my zombies, finally coming to fruition. For this to happen, all these wills have to go. The Settler, Mr. I Don’t Feel Like It, the Wisher. I’m One Will Away.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 024 ~Nights Of The Willies~

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Good night or more like good morning? Will I actually get to bed before 12 A.M. come Sunday? I have 2800 more words to go with the novel, so it has been one productive ass week. For something, I’ll never publish. “Night Of The Willies”

Saturday, July 25, 2020

Gospel 024 ~Nights Of The Willies~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but to be completely honest, I’ve about finished another story, thank you. As of my last count, I am now 2800 words away from the finish line. Only I still doubt I’ll get a decent night’s sleep tomorrow or today seeing how it’s 2:15 A.M. now.

As Ted Mosby put it “Nothing Good Happens After 2 A.M.” I believe it was Todd Chrisley that said something about 12 A.M. as well.

“Your curfew is 12, cuz ain’t nothing open after midnight except legs and the ER, and you’re gonna stay out of both of them.” –

On a personal note, Lady Lu, all I want is to get six hours of sleep and not have My Dæmon be confused some mornings.

Hell, I work these late nights to avoid the horrible days at the Day Job. So how is that working out for me, hmm? Do I owe some thanks to NO FAP though I was ready to break again? It would be something if I was having nightmares or something. The only thing I hate on these nights is finally going to bed and seeing the blue creep outside my window. I know I shouldn’t be putting that sort of negativity out into the world. Be careful what you wish for My Lady. At this point, I want more of the Simple Things, thank you, Mr. Huynh. Now, how many white men have I taken advice from in the past few minutes? Again Ted Mosby, Todd Chrisley. Oh, Mr. Huynh’s country singing voice belonged to Randy Travis from Hey Arnold.

Anyway, I would settle for a clean house for starters. I was going to say something else, but I suddenly got a touch of paranoia. Okay, so I’m writing because I hate my job and don’t want to be scared anymore. Nothing that I’ve written tonight is going to help me overcome that. Oh, and if I haven’t said enough about writing, I jumped the gun this afternoon. I tell you all the time I lie to Camp NaNoWriMo and stay up all night, making up for it. So in bed this afternoon, I accidentally marked I was finished with my novel. Don’t worry, I immediately erased the entry, but that didn’t stop them from giving me the badge. At least it will be right by today or tomorrow. Now shouldn’t I be grateful that I had this whole week to do something I love? Yeah, Lady Lu, that’s funny.

When will these long nights’ end? Nights Of The Willies.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 017 ~Ma’am This Sucks Will~

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Another Late Night/Early Morning, and this should be pillow talk or rather be conked out at the moment instead. I won’t be dreaming about some girl because I wrote her into my story, but what kind of man am I? Ma’am This Sucks Will, I think

Saturday, July 18, 2020

Gospel 017 ~Ma’am This Sucks Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I had to succeed at NO FAP. Now I am sorry, Lady Lu, that everything relates to my “monster” nowadays. Didn’t somebody say once that life is worth more than a penis? I’m not counting that as a bad word. Lady Lu, whatever I’m doing with my life, I want to be more of a man than I am today. How I panicked today because somebody broke the ATM, and I couldn’t get my card back. When the people at the BBQ place called me Ma’am again. Hell, I’m still buying clothes for some future submissive I’ll have soon…

The whole damn country is falling apart, and all I can worry about is me. Yesterday, I was telling Sophia about all the lists I’m writing about my problems. I’m also itchy, I have heartburn, and as always I’m tired as all Hell thank you. I don’t even want to dare to glance at my Six Impossible Things because what have I got done? I’m keeping it in my pants, and my story is taking off. 2400 words a day, and of course, I’m not catching up because I should be doing 5000 words, but what did I do today? As I said, I freaked out at the bank, but I did get my card back. I continue to feel like I’m getting in everybody’s way wherever I am. Tonight will be one more, where I don’t get enough sleep, so what about tomorrow. I pay for wrestling, but how much can I tell you?

Things to be grateful for, so I get off this pity train. As with my gratitude, I have enough to eat for a few days. I haven’t looked at much porn today, but as soon as I say that, SIGH. You and I Lady Luna will finish this conversation, but I wish I had more to tell you. Another character is in my book, Charity Zoey Mars. She’s another English girl, so Cherry won’t be lonely. With that, I should probably say something about my country? I’m a black man living in America. Who is going to hear my voice, I ask. Do I want them to at all considering the things I have to say? Now that takes me back to my point, I’m not a man when I speak… Ma’am This Sucks Will.

I Will Have No Fear