Tag: Sick

Log 273 ~Faith, In You, In Something~

WillLeave a comment

Well, a different rule but repeated actions. I had faith that I would write something, look at the book, go shopping, and back to it being 3:00 PM trying not to look at women, playing TWD until 5:30 PM. I believe I’m lazy. Faith, In You, In Something

Monday, March 30, 2020

Log 273 ~Faith, In You, In Something~

Hundred And Thirtieth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how many times do I have to say it before I believe it? When I was so young, I grew up in the AME church. I remember saying something to the tune of, on these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. Those were about loving God and loving your neighbor. Now I can’t say I do much of either anymore, but what two things do I repeat every day. I AM a Millionaire, Billionaire, Trillionaire, and I Will Have No Fear. The Law of Attraction. Allow me to try my best “Trinity” impression.

I believe “that girl” from last night wasn’t playing me for a fool. (Friday Night) I met this girl on Whisper. She was sweet, a mom, pretty, etc. So you’re asking me why no cute nickname? Well, haven’t heard from her at all today, and of course, that could mean anything. Do you see how quickly the negative thoughts come through? I could get played; I wasted the day, I’ll never get to sleep on time SIGH. I believe that we’ll have this conversation, but that doesn’t take much faith at all. Here we are, another day, okay, I promise I’ll stop it with the negativity. I believe AHEM I believe that I’ll go out tomorrow and gather much-needed supplies. We’re not starving, of course, but you know what it means when I set my clock for a twenty-minute nap? Not a “dang” thing ever.

You don’t know quite how badly I want to belt out the Blessid Union of Souls’ version of “I Believe.” Ironically, I believe by Monday night; when I finally post this, I’ll have a new gun. Life in the plague era and I’ve never once thought about getting sick; oh yeah, that Regal Popcorn. Anyway, I believe that I can keep “it” in my pants, and no, I’m not talking about a gun. I’m still working on my novella “The Eve of a Cherry,” and the two female leads well. It’s not like I’ve ever needed an excuse right, but at least I fixed two hundred errors today. Last but not least, ha-ha, I want to say that I believe in myself. I was talking to Cherry the other day and repeated all my dreams.

Why shouldn’t I, I ask, a man with “something” to do? All I need is Faith, In You, In Something.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 359 ~Will Visits Olive Garden~

WillLeave a comment

I’ve never eaten at Olive Garden, I liked The Shrimp & Chicken Box, but I always ate at home, and I realize I still sound like that boy eating by himself I the cafeteria but if I had the money, the power, and the woman. Will Visits Olive Garden.

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Episode 359 ~Will Visits Olive Garden~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now. One more reason I “work” so hard, I want my Soup, Salad, and Breadsticks at home. There is also the fact that B III hates car rides. On the other hand, Daddy needs some downtime. When he was sick, he didn’t even give me time to myself in the bathroom. I do better when I’m sick; you’ll never hear me ask you to make me a sandwich. I do like soup though, chicken noodle or steak and potato from Campbell’s. Campbell’s Chunky Grilled Chicken & Sausage Gumbo is what I call elegant dining. Add in shrimp and ghost pepper sauce yum. I’ve said before if I ever mention caviar I’m either a hostage or crazy. The different kinds of sick sigh. It could be I want an excuse to stay in bed with you another day.

Speaking of green, I hope I’ll never be so sick again. Would you like to see me cook some? I haven’t killed anybody, yet; now though one woman ran away, another got sour punch candy in her eyes (not my fault). I like Sprite, not Sierra Mist; Sprite always settles my stomach. Yes, I can say you give me butterflies, but here we are still. The jobs I have now aren’t making me physically ill on the daily. I also built them from the ground up. There’s no need to hide or to worry. If you could only imagine, in some way how long it took to be comfortable at the movies, the library, the pool? More reasons I built them in my house. Creepy you think I’m trying to keep you from the world. Far from it, I’m the Beast, and you’re my Beauty, wow does that make me a PRINCE somehow, my love?

My love for you is purer than my anger or fear. With everything I have do you know I’ve never had Olive Garden Breadsticks? I could always have them delivered, and I won’t ask, would you rather stay in tonight? How I hate asking for anything but being sick, well that’s a good excuse. I’m always open to learning, growing, evolving, but when everybody looks at you like you’re STUPID? I love you because you don’t, again one of many reasons. My son is cute, baby girl you are beautiful, our other children are happy. So nobody notices at all that Will Visits Olive Garden.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 352 ~Will And The Wardrobe~

WillLeave a comment

The business is winding me down, I don’t think it would be so if I were in a line of work that I enjoyed though most women would prefer I don’t win an AVN Award or do business in the AEE, but today should I put on pants? “Will And The Wardrobe.”

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Episode 352 ~Will And The Wardrobe~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now but am I a hero? I’m not sure if we’ve had the sickness and in health conversation, or depressed. It’s just lying here nestled in bed, delusions of grandeur. Very expensive as Mr. Dink would say, from the sheets to the bed in general. The most expensive room in our home is the bedroom? Now I don’t mean it like when I’m at work but between us. Having you here Love and you know I wish I could say it’s not about the money at all.

You, all our kids, money, are the big three. I could quote Scarface right now, but later on, I only want to indulge in YouTube. Still, it seems wrong to have everything, to want more, and to be grateful for pants. Sweatpants, jeans, you know I own a suit here or there for the red carpet and business events. It took me forever to wear shorts at the pool before I owned several myself. I’m still the guy that will put on sweatpants and a hoody to get a free biscuit or taco. Is that what’s going to get me up today with everything, a free taco? Don’t I work so hard so I can write while on the beach? Signing autographs in books, and staying in bed? First world problems am I right, 99 Problems and I won’t finish that statement, no way Love.

When we got married, with all our many themes, I liked the pageantry. Can’t say I support Nike, Under Armour, Levi or the like. For me, it’s whatever’s comfortable but zipped up hoodies are a must. I’m busy being rich than looking it though having you on my arm. Again nothing else matters. Of course, we have our unique wardrobe, but where does the money go? The softest towels, more blankets, comfy spots for B III. If anything I want to be comfortable in the skin I’m in babydoll. Today I don’t, so these blankets are doing the trick. A hot shower, wrapped here in your arms, whenever I let Triple B out of timeout? Sometimes I think I’m a real Scrooge when it comes to socks and underwear. Money can’t buy me this, well hot water to be fair.

I was never in the closet so coming out; no need I’ll stay not looking at Will And The Wardrobe.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 314 ~Get Will Soon Card~

WillLeave a comment

Can’t decide or a healthy adult male, if I had Christian Grey money or one of the many billionaires I read about, most girls would call me Mr. Right and Dr. Feelgood. Now I’m the cure to things people won’t do, and B III can’t do. Get Will Soon Card.

Saturday, May 11, 2019

Episode 314 ~Get Will Soon Card~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, or I should be. The reason is that my shift at work still has people fighting to take it (Positive Vibes). Though even if I were sick, I don’t think I’ve ever received a Get Well card. Don’t get me wrong Lady Lu; I’m grateful. I’ve never spent twenty-four hours in a hospital, and B III is going to live forever. I’m calling it now; my son knows how to live.

However, like most he has the Get Will Soon Card, never leave “home” without it literally. If he wants to go for his walk I’m taking him, anywhere else (the pet shop/vet visits) we’re together. What about the day job? I get calls all the time, and again I’m thankful for the usual hours. Next week I’ll have more than enough to make up for Norton, but we’ll get back to them in a moment. I think the UNIVERSE is conspiring to save me money. I’ve filled you in on The Cosplayer quitting. What about my ice cream melting while I waited for food from one of my favorite restaurants. Closing for good, owners retiring.

In all fairness, I don’t write or send Get “Well” Soon Cards myself. Only the receipt I got for new boots because for damn sure I needed them. Falling apart, smell making me sick, my poor feet but I was too greedy to want to buy more. That’s until just yesterday. Speaking of greedy, Norton tried to make me feel better. So they sent me a $25 Amazon card. I promise not to spend it on a girl wanting to see her boobies. Where was I a minute ago? Yeah as far as boobs are concerned; while one redhead said no, the other is all in. So now I have to get to work, you know I don’t like letting pretty girls down, and in four months I want seven figures, so here I am.

From the bed to the table. All on the grounds of getting to a bigger bed and much softer pillows if you know what I mean. So I can experiment with my “Red Dawn” fantasy. The name isn’t original, but neither is “Girls That (William Fell…) For” Winterfell ha. Sigh my latest novel doesn’t even have a name for now.

Grateful and sick of this life, Get Will Soon Card.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 250 ~Let’s Lie Down Will~

WillLeave a comment

The lie is I can’t get up, that I can’t face the world, that B III will live to meet his stepmom but the truth, I don’t want to get up, the world scares me, and Triple B is on three medications, yet I wish to create fiction. Let’s Lie Down Will.

Friday, March 8, 2019

Episode 250 ~Let’s Lie Down Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, create the ultimate comfy spot for dogs. A product most owners won’t buy, a lie never accepted. Knowing at the end of the workday we want our fur babies with us. Sitting on our laps, furring up our couches, and bedtime.

That might be easier than writing because I’ve discovered something and that’s I’m not a good liar, and you know how I know? I’ve never convinced myself. A God that can’t convince himself of his creation; like the plot of Legion (2010). I’m not even a good thief because that goes hand in hand with lying. Only haven’t I said that fiction isn’t lying, again it’s creation. Still, everything from girls to gore, to the ground, is real. Writers have to bleed, and that’s one more thing I can’t do correctly. Like a body that lies Undiscovered and when it finally is what’s left, decay?

I haven’t gone through the majority of the Editor’s Notes on Apocalypse Rush. Though if a sea of red was any sign, damn near everything had to be separated and corrected. Not that they said it was terrible by any stretch. I wonder if the editor was a woman. I saw that it’s International Women’s Day and I did go to see Captain Marvel last night. Hell if I wasn’t sitting here with you telling me to Stop Crying Your Heart Out, what would I be doing? A pool of green from vomiting out the amount of cash I’m going to need for my novel. What about being Down With The Sickness that festers inside me. Word apps are leaving whoever I was rotting more.

Lady Sophia, if I want to write and learn how to lie, why don’t I tell you about the movie. How I strolled with confidence, paid, bought my snacks and saw a great film. No, I humiliated myself with an old ticket and agonized over it for two hours. Saw a decent movie and then felt right about a car accident because people were having a worse night. I could tell you I woke up feeling great, with a lot of energy and I plan to get so much done. Again I fell asleep till seven, my body is sore, I have to go out, and all I want to do is sleep. If my life were happy, I would go into nonfiction. Could become one of those reactors for TWD. As King Ezekiel put it “Fake It, Till You Make It,” will I go and lie down in bed or Let’s Lie Down Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 246 ~I’m An Ordinary Human, Sucks~

WillLeave a comment

“You did not wake up to be mediocre;” you are not average, phenomenal skill, phenomenal will, hell I would take being anything than what’s sitting on my couch, and my son is something but me? I’m An Ordinary Human, Sucks

Monday, March 4, 2019

Episode 246 ~I’m An Ordinary Human, Sucks~

Seventy-Fourth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, become a monster, a messiah, or a madness, hell being a writer. I have tried on all the caps, creatures, and contagious diseases to make myself more than HUMAN.

Monster sigh even more so today or don’t I wish. Again I want to give you some horrible backstory seeing as how I’m a novelist and all. Most though would declare it, Fake News, Fiction, or Flights of Fancy. Far from a fantasy or at least, it was while it was happening, so let me get this off my chest. God can I stop thinking about chest or more to the point BOOBS. The Harley Quinn cosplayer, the costly mom, a damn collection but yeah I came. Uglier than Freddy, I should wear a mask like Jason, and infected like a damn zombie but we’ll get to that. I’m a horny man, a human being.

You didn’t see me at work today; I might as well have strings coming out of my ass. (LANGUAGE) I know, but that sounds so much better than having people’s noses, nails, hell even whole heads up it. I tell you Madam Justice, the shit that comes out of my mouth (I’m Trying) is nothing compared to theirs. So I refuse to take part as I’ll drown in it and become even more disgusting as they think I am and I know I am this moment. Someone sang of the differences between monsters and man, but I am so much lower than that. Someone also said that it’s a disease this thing we call love. No this isn’t it Madam; what does this make a crazy little thing called LUST.

Madman, me, now that’s madness, and I barely call the man I see in the mirror a man. It’s like sticking a needle in my arm (which I’ve never) snorting any “powder” (Wrong white Lady Madam Justice). Or smoking something here or there, (never cigarettes) women are my addiction. For nearly two weeks, I’ve avoided any sign of you know who but yeah last night with the cosplayer. I’m not worried, being who I am I’ll be ignored. Then there are the words “Oh My Sweet Goddess” that led to my insanity, either that or Harley Quinn. But I… yeah I have a million excuses on how this day was supposed to turn out, but who could dare carry it out. A sick man like myself, a pretty girl appears and way down, we go, Human. Everyone, to our knees, be it prayer, primal instinct, or psychos; sick of this, I’m An Ordinary Human, Sucks.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 243 ~Deadline, To Fill Will~

WillLeave a comment

Winston Smith said; “we are the dead” you want to know what my Room 101 is… being alone, “B III” is hanging in there, and I see a couple of good people too, the problem is though, I’m not one of them. “Deadline, To Fill Will”

Friday, March 1, 2019

Episode 243 ~Deadline, To Fill Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, create a holiday I will enjoy. As you can see, I still haven’t won PCH, but I remember those days I was heavy into it, and then they came down south. I watched them drive around and then the grand prize was for someone else sigh.

Remission, I mean no disrespect to people who suffer from illnesses. Hell, the word comes to mind because of Roman Reigns in WWE, but I imagine that’s what it feels like to have so much money. The disease known as your life is in remission. What about the pain I endure, I’ve had plenty of those moments. Something in my eye, a toothache, my weak stomach. Which of course these days as I told “Indiana Gone” every day I continue to play Prometheus. So some “bird” gives me a choice, my heart or my privates, yeah still a private day. What did I say about a “life in remission?” Yeah because I “pretty much” walk around like a zombie all day working. Subsisting off, well that’s the thing there’s nothing, I go to work and how many times do I repeat this. My wants are impossible, immoral, illegal and insane.

Revenge, people are heading for the hills but it’s like I’m Dr. Jekyll, and I want to kill Mr. Hyde, no I’m not suicidal. Hell staying up half the night writing and of course, I missed the deadline, get it, scribbling gives me life? How about being Dr. Frankenstein and making a monster. Who was the bigger monster? Now let’s go modern, take the Rage Virus for example. I’m like the mother who’s infected and with my sick lips… hell everyone wants to tear me apart. Maybe I’m bent on my destruction. Every beautiful thing I desire is like the Road Runner, and I’m like Wile E. Coyote am a subscriber to ACME products. Because I asked one girl out and she blocked me. Asked to subscribe to another, but I don’t want to risk her friendship but… she’s hot.

Renounce; the man I am, but I don’t know who that is anymore. The basics today, I’m getting sick, my throat hurts something awful, I’m still exhausted, I’m a bit warm. Only people call me sick for plenty of other reasons. I would say I get to renounce the human race, but my “father” hell do I count him as human. Like me, he pretends, and if he thinks he’s getting me as a “friend” on Facebook, geez I hate him in real life honestly. I said before that “A Comedian Died Today” and there is this idea that I have to be something else. Only who gets to choose, a dead man rises for what, Deadline, To Fill Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 187 ~Will Asks A Director~

WillLeave a comment

What’s today’s story, I’ll let you know when I’m back holding the pen, B III needs me to go and get his papers, I got to talk to a girl about some mean green, and I’m sure somebody out there needs me for a joke. “Will Asks A Director,” or becomes one

Friday, January 4, 2019

Episode 187 ~Will Asks A Director~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, ask Skye Warren, Celia Aaron, Pepper Winters, Pam Godwin, should I ask S. Wolf or Todd Michaels, and I know what you’re thinking, yes I know way more authors than directors. Hell, last night I told myself the whole story of The Postman (1997), instead of sleeping in my bed, I slept on the loveseat and dreamed I was Star-Lord flying through the sky about to fight Thanos a.k.a. B III on account of him being sick, the heating vent, and Honest Trailers, how that wasn’t in my plans at all.

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” ― Woody Allen

If I have learned anything from this week and as always this is a repeated lesson, I’m a dominant; I like being in control, my directorial debut “Cumming For You” (no I won’t call LANGUAGE on the title) was a resounding success; I always wanted to direct a porno. I can be a producer of course when the need arises, the day job, a pretty girl is coming over (asks Indiana Gone or Okay) and let’s hear it for my ill Triple B, now that’s not good, but my Motivations always talk about having a reason, a drive, your purpose. Social Anxiety, of course, makes you think the camera, the spotlight, the live studio audience is always on you and that’s one more reason to stay under the covers, to play the ghost, why so many others prefer playing dead.

The concept brings me back to the hot MILF and my new actress, am I becoming a fanboy, that was before I even saw her naked but what I’m getting at is, that energy, the moment she cums, the improvisation, motivation, life. Even in my novels, it’s not that I’m writing, I believe whatever I want, I make plans and then the characters, they take over and the beauty of that moment, do you watch, or do you join the fun? Do you think God is up there, wishing for some good shut-eye, but he’s busy stroking or fingering, maybe sees us as sick and has to stay up all night, perhaps we’re only the strangest dream; still an atheist.

Today however I’m cast and crew, I’ll probably have a conversation with my actress, and Triple B is busy writing his new screenplay though I think it’s shit (LANGUAGE) yeah going to buy more doggy pads and that means I’m going to be on screen. Everyday Lady Sophia I “try” an answer the question, why am I a writer and here’s one “Like Me When I’m Not Me” so does that mean I want to be a character or stay behind; Will Asks A Director.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 184 ~Will’s Great Gut Instinct~

WillLeave a comment

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Episode 184 ~Will’s Great Gut Instinct~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, well it doesn’t start with greatness, call it fear, hunger, having guts and those are the things you can never show anybody, but that million dollars, my first born child, and you my love are far more than greatness. When I go to the day job I could tell them I was great and it wouldn’t mean a goddamn thing, (a stickler for language), then my friends assure me I’m great and what is it about the breath, buttons, the belief that gets me to agree. My Motivations “What It Really Takes to Be Great,” fire me up without a doubt.

Only a Million dollars is great I want more, B III deserves more than that, and being beside you well that took more than the G-word, sometimes I imagine creating something more than the L-word I suppose. In a way it’s like Christmas Day, New Year’s, the high holiness of Valentine’s Day and what about your birthday, as Ellie Goulding sings it, How Long Will I Love You, and that’s not a one-day thing, a yearly event, though birthdays are like a month right? I heard once that it’s a disease this thing called love, and honestly, I believe that. I mean the things that it makes us do, it’s physical effects on us, and the final result of course.

It’s great isn’t it, like that time I spilled my Sprite at work and when from sickness to panicked cleaner or when I was ready to fight that Goliath, it’s that day when I first saw you and my day is full of love songs and my nights full of blues. You know I’m not one for the Aliens franchise, but I can relate to the agony easily, I don’t drink a whole lot but to be Drunk On You sigh, it’s like being in that hotel again as a kid grabbing a mountain of bacon. How can something be so right and so wrong at the same time, I swear it’s like eating breakfast for once and wondering why I’m stuck in bed. Trying new things in the kitchen and suddenly, Too Much Sauce, going to McDonald’s every day because the cashier “like me” (well I added ten minutes to the next location right)?

My point is I don’t think I’m great, I won’t always feel great even if you say, and Hell I want to be even more than that because you and I, Triple B, our other children we all deserve so much more from me, and that’s going to take courage, a full stomach, figuring things out. I promise you baby girl that I Will; I will because I’m a man, maybe not a great one but I can feel that from head to heel Baby I’m Yours. And while I’m much more of a “Co-Ed Confidential” aficionado, the need, the hunger, for you are so sweet, that I could not deny Will’s Great Gut Instinct.

“Don’t try to be a great man. Just be a man and let history make its own judgments.” Zefram Cochrane

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 180 ~Sick Of Know Will~

WillLeave a comment

Well aren’t I running late today with everything, bills, conversation, and I’m sure there is a NO someplace, but that would require asking the question and don’t I think I know everything hmm? Sick Of Know Will

Friday, December 28, 2018

Episode 180 ~Sick Of Know Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, have the guts to go after something harder than that; ahem, my Motivations, one says it’s never about the prize but the pride, for example, I can buy a NaNoWriMo winner’s shirt, but I believe one must earn it. Believe, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I could, should, and would write fifty thousand words, even more than that it was fact Lady Sophia, before the first word, there was my goal point blank.

Another Motivation, Hero Of Your Own Story and you’ve heard this a million times over, I wake up because I have to, I’m always grateful for B III’s safety and health, I don’t look in the mirror and I’m starting to think, maybe it’s because I KNOW who I am. Makes me a hypocrite saying I’m lost all the time or wandering at least, yes one foot in front of another today, tomorrow, every day zombified. When somebody new sees me well; to write you bleed, you spit venom, you breathe fire, and so you live, writing is living Lady Sophia, cage, institution, torture chamber, hell a concentration camp, a hospital, a library is a hospital for the HUMAN mind.

So how do I get discharged hmm… of course I talk to you but honestly what does this make me; well on top of everything else I’m tired, work, errands, I am keeping up with Christmas Cake: A Holiday Collection by Celia Aaron but that doesn’t count as work. I have such plans for tomorrow, promises but will I keep any of them, will I write them down, you know I do that every Sunday and again I know I won’t keep them, isn’t that precisely the type of man I am now? Speaking of man, you know what I have wanted to write all day, I asked “Okay,” “Indiana Gone,” and “M Anime” and they all agree but I have yet to make that move because I have no problem saying I’m afraid, twenty seconds of insane fucking courage.

I’m sick of knowing the answers to everything, that you don’t understand me one bit, that I’m looking at an F come Sunday and of losing more friends and light when she says NO. You get discharged by accepting the fact and doing it anyway because that my dear Lady Sophia is what living is, courage is not the absence of fear, it’s the knowledge that yeah you’re going to die, but for a second, twenty, you’re alive, and I’m not Sick Of Know Will.

I Will Have No Fear