Tag: Time

Lesson 182 ~Yearly Revolution, Evolution, Resolutions~

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Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve, and on Monday I will yet again be reborn, but will I still be in the same place, if I can’t get out of bed for one night, how best to do what I should be doing for the new year? “Yearly Revolution, Evolution, Resolutions

Saturday, December 30, 2017

Lesson 182 ~Yearly Revolution, Evolution, Resolutions~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, if I could but leave it in the past, the end of this year, I don’t know whether to be glad, sad, feel bad, excuse the rhymes but that is yet one more thing that has not changed. It’s like the eye doctor always asks, better, worse, or about the same, and I’m pleased if things remain but I shouldn’t.

1. See Braxton through another year
2. Write 400 words on workdays (Goal 120,000)
3. Write 5000 words on off days (Goal 120,000)
4. Sleep with a different girl a month (and, or) have a girlfriend
5. Buy a cookbook
6. Participate in NaNoWriMo (novel in a month) 50,000 words
7. Finish repairs (Back Fence, Refrigerator Light, Car, etc.)
8. Publish a poetry book
9. Collect more than 4,000 dollars in 52 Week Money challenge
10. Read for an hour and a half every day

Last year’s list of resolutions, high hopes but Braxton is alive, and I hope happy, I didn’t write 400 words a day until we began talking again but I have finished my 120,000-word novel “Some Assembly Required” that’s still a working title of course. This whole year I haven’t slept with one girl, and though I could have had one, I didn’t take the opportunity or speaking of which buy a cookbook either. I did complete NaNoWriMo “The Keys To Life” working title, I got a new car and did minor household stuff, no book of poetry, barely over 2,000 dollars, and reading… my lowest score in a reading challenge with 26 books so no.

2018 Resolutions:
1. See Braxton through another year
2. Continue to write my blog, at least 400 words daily and gain a profit
3. Complete one novel without NaNoWriMo
4. Sleep with a different girl a month (and, or) have a girlfriend/submissive
5. Read over 25 books one being a cookbook
6. Participate in NaNoWriMo (a novel in a month) 50,000 words
7. Finish all repairs (Back Fence, Refrigerator Light, Car, etc.)
8. Publish two books, poetry and novel
9. Collect more than 4,000 dollars in 52 Week Money challenge
10. Read for an hour and a half every day

Does it look like I’m even attempting to evolve, to rebel, of course, Braxton always comes first, and I bought everything I needed for a blog in September didn’t I and if I call myself a writer, shouldn’t I be going to work on that? I have to get out of this house and start hitting Books-A-Million, Starbucks, the library again, maybe even try Target because of Indiana Gone put it “bitches love Target”; and I should have a girl before November. I know I have skills, hell I built a coffee table, wrote a book, and if I publish I should have money and time honestly am I right?

What happened to me Lady Luna, where is the impossible, immoral, illegal, and insane, Tony Montana, of course, has it right, you have to work, you have to make money. As the song goes it’s a Bittersweet Symphony, and I can change, but then I look at this year. Now that should be the most significant fear, that I will still be sitting here, same as I was last year, fighting a stomachache, hiding in the house, with too much to read and not enough to write but another excuse, a wish, and some dream.

So what have I learned today, to be me and then not so, other than Braxton’s life, make my life so I just might need new Yearly Revolution, Evolution, Resolutions?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 096 ~Is It Time Yet~

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There is never a right time or enough time is there Luna, or maybe I’m just ashamed but it could be worse, I could be a liar. Is It Time Yet, maybe you should ask me tomorrow but really what about today, maybe I’ll take in another movie hmm

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Lesson 096 ~Is It Time Yet~

Hey Lady Lu
No Fear but isn’t that the question nowadays, my life must truly be boring that I’m thinking about something I heard from Fox News, wouldn’t you agree?

When will we ever talk about my fixation on brunettes or for the wrong women in general, fourth grade it was a Muslim girl, sixth grade it was a blonde in remission that I’ll admit I was actually cruel to, seventh to ninth grade I stopped looking at black women for the most part, and senior year to now it has been mostly brunettes. I could probably write a whole book on why that is but as for today’s lesson, I don’t think it’s time yet but I put it out there didn’t I. Hell I’m still thinking about what this blog is going to turn into one of these days, now there’s something we should be talking about, money.

Fox News doesn’t want to talk about whit people either, though I work for a black manager and didn’t get paid this week, didn’t work last week but that’s beside the point, isn’t it? Maybe “Marshall” will give them something to talk about but I already did my review and while you know I’m one for reiteration but do I really want to repeat my review of a good choice.

“Hell is REPETITION.” Andre Linoge

No that would actually make too much sense now wouldn’t it Lady Lu, repeating the good and not dwelling on the bad, that’s one more girl for the virtual brothel “Echo, Justice, Luna, a Sophia…” that makes four but should I be encouraging my craziness, on one hand I have plenty of stuff that needs burying, and on the other with my book, I’m airing things out, cleaning out my closet. Doesn’t that just bring me back to money, I was telling “Indiana Gone” about my clothing choices or lack thereof but that is nothing to talk about until you find a hole in your shoe… what so I’m Scrooge.

Better call me a pimp while I have you here I suppose I should write down your role with the others so I don’t forget.

The Voices
Luna = Therapy
Justice = Rules
Echo = Past Sins
Sophia = Stories

So what have we learned besides the fact that I’m going crazier, do I have time to go there Luna, seriously Is It Time Yet?

I Will Have No Fear

Bravely Lit

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It’s getting around that time and I’m sure I have my picture, my name, hell probably a police file, I can pretty much guarantee my name is in lights and will be but not in any flattering away and I am always chasing the light aren’t I. “Bravely Lit”.

Don’t sing, don’t wish, don’t say
because I have, on all the stars
but they still seem so far
and the cake is melting.
Were you trying to compete with the sun
I’m on the run

fam with every reason to stay
and that’s why I get high.
Those neon lights are in my sight,
only I want “Easy Street”
where I spread my love and fly
to know that I’m alive

I’ll make some days, always
From “how does that look daddy”
I’ll sing let’s see
while the police fingerprint me
I won’t lie about this
No not to my kids

when under fluorescent lights I’ll lay
with doctor’s asking what’s my age again.
The lights from where I been
don’t follow me six feet
So today, teach me to be brave
blow out the candles, a few more to the grave

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Bark Check

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All it took was a dog walking alone in the street, the little doggie I so wanted to save and I don’t know where he is now, how about my own four-legged son who this moment is lying under my feet waiting. “Bark Check” how I have gone looking for love

And I never ask the stars’ advice
on what to wish for or dream up next
I simply take it to the bank

neglecting to take the time to thank
God… people… my puppy dog once or twice
who never asks and I could never expect

to try, but somehow we both collect
not a dollar, rupee or franc.
No, it’s not some sort of prize

of life or waiting in some paradise.
It’s in every moment it doesn’t need a sec
a minute, a vault or a tank’s

protection, though my little friend you never shrank
from I love you, our names both blank
as love is without a price.
So what the heck
a dog’s love is a blank check

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lesson 048 ~Time for A Harvest~

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A time to sow and a time to reap or however the church says it these days; to be a child again and telling everybody what today was, now I earn my daily bread like everyone else. Time for A Harvest, the ultimate payday, a celebration of existence yep

Friday, August 18, 2017

Lesson 048 ~Time for A Harvest~

Hey Lady Lu,
Before I was the caveman I was just a kid, of course, can’t say that this time of year made me any happier but this was pretty much harvest time, in a few weeks anyway. I think I told you before a lady told me I would be a minister one day… if you meant making false promises and taking people’s money, yeah I had a knack for that sort of a thing from time to time.

The good ole days when I use to have a voice, I was just thinking about how I did it before, cute kid bouncing around at church from member to member, that’s how I made my allowance. It wasn’t just the money though, money was nice but the attention, you can’t win them all you know but I would keep trying which means there was something more right? How often I find myself agreeing with the phrase, “ignorance is bliss” because around this time of year there was one fact I simply chose to ignore, good things eventually will end.

You probably know what I’m talking about Lu but I don’t want to tip off anyone that might be happening to eavesdrop but honestly isn’t that what we both want in the end? What was that about false promises because that was me, especially to myself, we talked about this before but what’s my favorite line “I’ll do better next time” more to the point I’ll be better next time, older, wiser, more famous. I owe plenty of people at least from a financial standpoint, to think I once went around thinking a certain amount of money would solve my problem from here to there.

That’s today lesson, my friend, now nobody is calling to collect, my own personal Negan has been silent… okay let me stop there I actually have more respect for Negan and for those who run a protection racket. If anything I really owe myself and you know what happens to those that don’t pay their debts, okay I’m good today.

How do they say Lu, if you loan anything don’t expect to get it back and I mean we all expect it to be returned but we’re just trying to be nice. We can’t all be as heartless as Trump, yeah you should see today’s poem, I swear my inspiration pulled something from my mind that doesn’t have anything to do with you know who… 98% of it anyway but I’m sure that will come back and bite me someday.

Karma always comes back doesn’t it, we give so much away just hoping that little bit that becomes ours isn’t what fate is looking for. I try not to be lazy and was cutting the grass today so Braxton doesn’t come back with a host of creepy crawlers, I give my time to avoid the death glare from the neighbors and what do I get in return but a dog I’m still worried about and more things to do, sweep, wash clothes, another day of procrastination. What I’m trying to say is when do I get mine… I feel so bad saying that because I know exactly when that will be when I actually start giving a damn and work.

Maybe that’s another reason I don’t like this time of year because what has been my accomplishment, I want to go dark so badly right now but I’m trying to maintain a stiff upper lip. When it comes to other people they jump up and down for joy, they take the week, the month off, a celebration of existence, yeah I’m glad that some of them do. For me though it’s just another day, things I’m looking forward to, I requested three days off from work, you and I probably won’t be talking as much, Luna I tell you so much but I can use a break, how about for the most part I won’t be listening to a few dozen people wishing me anything.

Yeah, there are some women down Nevada way that didn’t get the memo, wonder if I can erase such and such off my public forum. We reap what we sow, maybe I should get more to sowing but for this time I the season what is it that I want to reap, why do I have to be that greedy?

Honestly, last year was good and maybe I did have ideas about this year, hell I was going to be a pimp, dare to dream right and even though my true list is still plenty impossible, immoral, and illegal what exactly am I hoping for when “The Day” does come?

I’ve been heavy into Saints Row and Fallout 4, the PS4 is not impossible but something I’ll get for myself, as far as the games though, Saints Row 2, 3, 4, and Gat Out of Hell are within reach for my PS3, also The Walking Dead. I suppose I’ll always be a gamer at heart if I ever find the time for it, instead of living it up on Youtube. Even now I’m forgetting how many games I want like I kid talking to Santa and then I became an atheist but that’s a story for another time I suppose.

Can’t say I am a fan of gift cards but I always keep one on Amazon to stop me from going nuts with the money I am trying to save, what I have on a gift card is what I spend. How about all my fandoms The Walking Dead, Star Wars, The Hunger Games, Divergent, Article 5, Twilight, and the list goes on, I’m still saving up for a custom made lightsaber and a real Lucille, hell I want a weapon’s cache, my own vial of the T-Virus, okay now I’m starting to get giddy.

I remember my mother would fix me steak and baked potato, what about lobster, what about cake, when was the last time I had a cake for my… never mind, how about shrimp from my favorite place or my other favorite place because I’m not driving all the way over there. What about a tattoo, considering all the pain associated with that day, that pain should be nothing, and I already have plenty of quotes to consider, or what about something for Braxton, or Lucille. Last but not least, strippers, chances are I wouldn’t be so lucky to get some submissive but at least watching someone take their clothes off, come on Luna you have to give me a break here but already I have offended the masses, you think, in case I did, going to the movies, or marathon series perhaps, but yeah plans.

So what have I learned today other than, you work for what you get and if I actually could send a Terminator back in time… anyway let me say a happy birthday to “M Anime” and as for my own life I can’t help but wonder Time for A Harvest?

Lesson 047 ~Need You to Roar~

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The road not taken, the things I should have said but considering I don’t die in the next couple of days, I can go to work and I can still have my chance in the end, maybe. “Need You to Roar”, because I just have to

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Lesson 047 ~Need You to Roar~

Now I’m not one for talking because honestly most of you aren’t worth my time and why waste my breath anyway. It seems I have enough people speaking as if I can’t speak for myself every single day, Will says this, Will is thinking that Will does that and for one thing that needs to stop right now because this is what Will really is thinking about all of this.

Will is thinking all you people ever do is complain, “I’m tired”, “I’m hot” how about “I’m gainfully employed”, I hate my job too but at least I’m not constantly complaining about it. Will thinks how cool it would be if you would just shut up for once, instead of spewing all that hot air as if you stop talking then you would stop breathing. If Will was one for complaining, Will thinks it would be better if we didn’t have to listen to Beyoncé all the time or that we take turns, with the music, maybe bring back the headphones rule or anything truthfully.

I mean when Will’s dog barks at least he’s making a contribution to society and is doing his job to the best of his ability rather than wasting everyone’s time. Speaking of time, unless you want Will to specifically to train someone or one of you managers is sending someone to help Will, don’t have people getting all in Will’s way. If Will needs help he’ll ask, he’s never been shy about the things he’s capable of or asking for clarification on certain aspects of his job as they come.

The fact that Will has to bring this up in front of all of you rather, that one manager at a time sort of shows that I think most of you that Will is trying to save time. Oh and as I previously stated all this Will this and Will that needs to stop immediately because Will no longer has the time or patience to deal, just being honest okay.

Speaking of honesty, whatever this conspiracy is that Will needs a friend also needs to be shut down and don’t tell Will that there isn’t a conspiracy, since Will himself has been called into the office on occasion to keep an eye on some person. This isn’t elementary school where everybody needs to get a flipping Valentine’s Day card, Will isn’t here to make friends.

Will noticed over the past few weeks, certain employees trying to make a conversation and okay Will could be wrong, maybe people are just bored. The thing is your boredom is not Will’s concern he just wants to do his job so why the sudden interest in Will’s life, again the idea of some sort of conspiracy. It is also unfair somewhat to give someone fewer hours and then feel you can just call whenever as if people don’t have plans it seems if someone were so dependable they would not be given fewer hours in the first place right?

To reiterate this is not grade school or high school, being friendly maybe be a job requirement but being friends is not. Liking someone is not a requisite to following orders, do what is required of you, why the need for a popularity contest, Will thinks we all are adults here to a certain degree. Will is thinking why is being co-workers not enough for some, this is a job, not a social club, and if this is a family, yeah Will might ignore them too so it pans out.

Also for the record, if you’re not Will’s dog, Will’s girl or applying for the position, keep your hands off of Will, there is such a thing as personal space. Last but not least, Will is not here to be the butt of your jokes or to be forced to endure the same lame ass jokes day in and day out, which goes back into why is everyone talking so much and for once you can say Will say that.

Hey Lady Lu,
My apologies for my rant but I was so freaking pissed today, the only question is was I madder at myself or people in general, coworkers and honestly I wasn’t the only one. There is absolutely no excuse for my silence today, but other than the anger today wasn’t half bad… should I start taking my meds again, I’m becoming a miser.

“Let no man forget how menacing we are, we are lions!” – Achilles, Troy (2004)

Another recent development I suppose, I’ve never been stingy with my money, I could actually afford to spend a little but money like time is becoming a limited commodity. I haven’t read anything for days besides a book on blogging and I still have to put that into practice; what about the book club, no Luna I don’t blame you. Just to be fair though I might have to cut down on our chats a bit, waiting until the end of the month though to see how that goes Lu.

“There are no pacts between lions and men.” – Troy

I won’t cut you out of my life again entirely, okay no promises but I have to write every day and I’m already being wiped out and how about my book? I think maybe I got all the workplace angst out of my system which is good, I meant to make some comparison to lions, all the quotes right but anger really burned me out today. Luna, I had all the time in the world to stand and again I crumbled but evolution my dear takes time, always with time.

“You watch those nature documentaries on the cable? You see the one about lions? You got this lion. He’s the king of the jungle, huge mane out to here. He’s laying under a tree, in the middle of Africa. He’s so big, it’s so hot. He doesn’t want to move. Now the little lions come, they start messing with him. Biting his tail, biting his ears. He doesn’t do anything. The lioness, she starts messing with him. Coming over, making trouble. Still nothing. Now the other animals, they notice this. They start to move in. The jackals; hyenas. They’re barking at him, laughing at him. They nip his toes, and eat the food that’s in his domain. They do this, then they get closer and closer, bolder and bolder. Till one day, that lion gets up and tears the shit out of everybody. Runs like the wind, eats everything in his path. Cause every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals, who he is.” Poolhall Junkies

As for what I learned today, having a big mouth is not always a good thing unless you have the power to go with it. Today I heard fear, I heard anger, I heard the return of the flipping caveman and that’s not good to the man in the mirror I Need You to Roar.

“I see pride! I see power! I see a bad-ass mother who don’t take no crap off of nobody!” – Yul Brenner, Cool Runnings (1993)

Speaking of Roar

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My dog doesn’t waste his barks… usually, and cats already consider themselves gods, but every once in a while, the lion must remind the jungle, who the king is. Speaking of Roar, this isn’t enough but I wonder how the lions do it?

Lions and men, teach me to roar
Both find the time to teach me to roar

No need to fight as all understand
the cannons or bombs but teach me to roar

I cry these tears but the sea today
Global warming you know, teach me to roar

With such wasted words, what does Newspeak become?
From concept to actualized, just teach me to roar

As autumn leaves and the trees bare secrets
Snap, crackle, and pop, such violence, so teach me to roar

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Silence Rocks

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My heart is stone, unfortunately, they use it to make pencil lead, does that mean it’s getting smaller, the words are definitely running out I suppose. Silence Rocks, it was the usual state of things but then I wanted to talk more and well *sigh*

With so many footsteps, what was my crime
Not my hands but opportunity who knocks
What did I say, what was it this time?

Was it friend or foe, no joke of mine
that took my tongue and made me Avox
With so many footsteps, what was my crime

It was a breath of air, that crossed your line
running my mouth has made you fly; a bomb I can’t stop
What did I say, what was it this time?

My own death sentence, so let me sign
Giving Atlas a breather, the world weighs a lot
with so many footsteps what was my crime

Wouldn’t crawl, walk, run, how to reach cloud nine
Here I stand and here I stay locked
What did I say, what was it this time?

For everything, there is a season and for this one, I will pine
Silently as they all kick rocks
With so many footsteps, what was my crime
What did I say, what was it this time?

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Mellow Sunshine

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Why bother being the only one, why bother trying to reach the tip top, I think this was during a moment that decent and adequate, being fine actually trumped trying to be happy, or I was really into “Paranoia Agent”. Mellow Sunshine…

Why so negative
Looked at as a sin

Twelve wanting to be twelve
The difference between Heaven and Hell
Is PM to AM
It’s not fair
Middle to the start of the new
Which do you choose?
Morning is declined
For the mellow sunshine

God’s happy cry
For the Devil beating his wife
How I want to be happy
But the Devil can’t have me
Tears during the day
You I must obey
Not alright or fine
In the mellow sunshine

A world with more birthdays
You can take mine away
All twenty-seven
Just want to get to Heaven
Or the second-circle of Hell
Can’t you tell?
I don’t deny
With the mellow sunshine

Life begins
When
Love, lust, and sin
Maybe when life ends
From cell, to cell, to Hell
Oh well
Life’s a bitch and then you die
Not on a beach but mellow sunshine

And so many stars can’t be the one
Sun
My daddy taught me
Another somebody
Under a black sky
Why can’t I die?
Still alive
This mellow sunshine

Negativity I like
Because the mellow sunshine
Isn’t as bright
As you would like

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lesson 022 ~Do You Trust Me~

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Betrayal is the lowest circle of Hell, a sin I have never committed… but no we don’t trust each other and for all the reasons we should, what went wrong? Do You Trust Me, after everything how does anybody else even stand a chance?

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Lesson 022 ~Do You Trust Me~

Hey Lady Lu,
Today’s lesson is brought to you by Disney or to be more specific, Aladdin, which begs the question why would you trust a thief or Disney as a whole. I’ve said on numerous occasions I am not a man of faith, but what is trust but the ultimate act of faith especially considering the circumstances and such.

“Trust is something you have to earn!

But how?! How do I earn it?

You can start by trusting me!” – Titan Rising, Teen Titans (2004)

Faith is trust with nothing to show for it and trust is experience, Jasmine had faith in Aladdin at first, but with the experience trust was simple. I just got a chill you remember the fifth of November, in my attempts to trust one I didn’t trust who matters most… that would be me strangely enough. I gave into faith instead of everything I knew to be true and isn’t that the question, why would I do such a thing?

For Jasmine it was an escape, the experience seemed to dictate her world would not change, in trusting this she took a “leap of faith” which led to her trusting someone. Aladdin was much the same way, and what I have been thinking about these past few days is how easily we take it for granted. Maybe it’s not so much taking it for granted because you would have to have it, I don’t know what you would call it.

I said I would never lie to you Luna, I am learning to trust you again (my fault) but I think I have already done so without meaning to. The reason for today’s lesson and the onset of my depression is my little Braxton and this my dear changes nothing but here we are anyway.

“You can have trust without love, but you cannot have love without trust” Just me

I have faith in him but the trust would say otherwise, faith, hope, and love, but I am certain I’ll end up bleeding and that’s for trying to help him. I don’t trust people more than I love my dog but with the same problem, people are more… logical I suppose; he doesn’t trust me which means I hand him to vets who I have no reason to trust and yet it’s me trusting them for his benefit, logical right?

This is yet another reason I don’t trust myself, it’s my responsibility to see to Braxton’s needs, he trusts me with his food, water, shelter, a walk a day and everything else that’s his experience. He doesn’t trust me not to hurt him though and to be fair I don’t trust myself but helping him is what I trust myself to do and I have faith in the end that he will be grateful, no Luna I’m not high. Long story short, he has a tick and I want to get it off but because neither of us trusts each other he’s hiding in his room and I’m in mine talking to you instead of I don’t know calling someone.

Faith says I can help him and trust says I know who must because I lack trust in the animal that I have cared for these years, who sleeps on my bed, who knows enough not to touch my food, who has protected me from my “father”. What about him, I have protected him from any harm, I’ve never failed in getting him what he needs, his well-being comes ahead of my own, well not now I suppose. Years of trust don’t mean anything to a moment of fear, some pain, anger, and rage etc.

This is why faith might be better, if you succeed then you can claim trust and if you fail, let God’s will be done or you can make up whatever you want to get by. Trust means you have to face it down, look it in the eye, black and white, feel it and know that something has been destroyed.

“Trust is easy to destroy, but it takes time to build.” – Masks, Teen Titans

I don’t trust myself most days but for some reason, people have trust in me, trust not to screw up too badly, trust that I won’t act on every devious impulse that festers within the confines of my mind whenever.

“Remember “Okay” how she trusted me, over and over and how often did I break that trust, how often did she find I wasn’t worthy of it. She told me things she would never trust anyone with, things I could use against her but I am not that “man” I would never I even asked her did she trust me. Haven’t spoken to her in over a month, years of knowing me and in a flash, it’s all over and still, I keep her confidence.

“these guys are tight, and you’re gonna be trippin’ out.

Don’t be usin’ my own phrases when we’ve lost the trust.” Waiting in the Wings

Of course, we still have “the incident” but “Ms. Seasons” didn’t ever know me and I was trusted to be someone else rather than who I am. Then there is “Gospel Girl” (I might be getting good at these names) and I want her to trust me enough just so I can play the devil.

Being a Dominant though, trust is a sacred thing, if a Sub doesn’t trust you then there really is no point it can’t be allowed even. Yes, I’m still looking for a role model other than Ned Flanders or Christian Grey but Lady Lu can I trust you with a secret of mine… That’s part of the reason I’m a Dom because I don’t trust someone not to run away, a future Sub will have to trust me and rope, scarves, underwear are many ways to make her stay put.

Anyway what have we learned today other than I’m so worried about my dog, trust me, isn’t that what I usually ask of you and others Do You Trust Me?