Tag: Women

Lesson 327 ~”No,” Your Safeword Please~

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No means no without question, but in this day and age, people are neglecting the issue, some are truly bad, some are cowards, and as for myself well chains and whips excite me as the song goes. “No,” Your Safeword Please for all our sakes maybe.

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Lesson 327 ~”No,” Your Safeword Please~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Can You Love Me Again, that would be a no right, no means no, just many of the ways I respect women, though the last time a woman stopped me… yeah, I was trying to get her bra off, a scary prospect even for an experienced dominant. Horror, fear, terror, I’ve told you before we’ll have the “Ravishment” conversation, hopefully, before Lesson 365, we’re getting closer and speaking of getting close, why should I be afraid?

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!”

“When women start to scream,
it could be misconstrued.”

“Just keep going!” ― Friends With Benefits (2011)

Social Anxiety is one thing but once I have a girl on my couch or in bed that brings about several new types of fear and unlike social anxiety I happen to like this fear, this adrenaline rush. Scared of talking to a girl I maybe but I’ve never been scared of a girl physically, and I have one that would rip my clothes off if she had a chance and another would slap me if I kissed her. Power means responsibility, desire, fear, I’m sure there is a rule in there maybe, but I would never say no to such things Dirty Diana and who does anyway when it comes to those things maybe.

“Them girls only know three words:
stop, no and don’t.” Silas

“Uh-oh, my brother.
You got those words backward.
They always tell me,
No, don’t stop!” Jamal, How High (2001)

Sometimes I’m afraid of the beast that I will unleash like something out of The Purge “Release The Beast” I’m not crazy or anything… says the man with a bunch of outfits in the closet but sometimes I want to fuck a princess, others a schoolgirl, and then again Alice In Wonderland. How it terrifies me that I might not have everything I want but when have I ever been left unsatisfied, I’m not that complicated, controlling maybe, emotional, passionate but I would never allow a girl to go wanting, and I don’t want to find myself as such. Most men would never admit to being bad lovers, as for myself; I guess you would have to ask a girl, but if I had the courage I have in the bedroom in my everyday life, I might never know fear.

I know “No” though, and I told you about wrestling with a girl once, and she stopped me, and other things but I’ve never forced myself on anyone and I never would. Only I see these men do horrific things and I get labeled as such for what, a brand of love. Green, Yellow, Red, are a bit too normal, I guess I like creative women, but anything surely beats *sigh* “No,” Your Safeword Please.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 324 ~Is She Zombie Apocalypse Material~

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I think someone should put this in the wedding vows, maybe I will, but I’m getting ahead of myself, zombies will walk the Earth before I end up wrangled up at some point but I could get lucky thus this rule. Is She Zombie Apocalypse Material hmm

Monday, May 21, 2018

Lesson 324 ~Is She Zombie Apocalypse Material~

Thirty-Third Rule Madam Justice

Can You Love Me Again, after you see me, the real me; the religious need gods to hold them accountable but I’m just a man keeping the beast in check and waiting for humanity to mess up so I can break this “Rusty Cage” and run. I know I don’t look like the type to do I, a fighter, a survivor, though they reiterate it’s the quiet ones you have to watch… how much do I hate that saying, seriously?

I can’t look people in the face most days; I’m only making it day by day because the rules of this world would have me as a second-class citizen, Jim Crow, though I don’t mean to sound all racial. Like John Dorie on “Fear The Walking Dead” I was having a conversation with myself, and I was saying how people want to stomp in your face, but the moment you rise and don’t prescribe to their ideas of you they freak out. This day and age, thinking these things can get a person in a lot of trouble I know it, but I’m going to rise someday, might take to the end of the world but I will, and I’ll survive and these other people…

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face forever.”
George Orwell, 1984

Maybe that’s why I attract damaged girls, survivors; if there is one thing that I have learned from every zombie show, movie, and video game, it’s that people are the real enemy. As much as I have dreamed of being one of them I’m starting to think that it’s like a plague. Zombies eat people, and it’s like everyday people are from “Pontypool,” and nobody wants to listen, to understand and I am a firm believer that someday the dead will walk the Earth; if we’re not already. Madam Justice it could be the idea that I think the only way I’ll get a girl is if “It’s The End Of The World” as we know it and I feel fine, but yeah I don’t want to be lonely. Still, I do enjoy my dog’s company, but people do need people ain’t that something huh?

“Fight The Dead, Fear The Living” ― The Walking Dead

To be less scary I like girls that can be quiet, that read, that relish sitting in the dark (movies). Isn’t one of my biggest fantasies, only to lie in bed with a girl on a sunny day, listening to nuclear pop, Atom Bomb Baby, Thirteen Women, Watch World War Three on Pay TV, etc. Throw in getting energized by sex, violence, and of course quiet and I’m in love; she can endure this world, at times even enjoy it but she can’t be dead like them. Hell “Dead Like Me,” if she can make me feel alive Madam Justice, Is She Zombie Apocalypse Material.
I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 320 ~Give Me A Hand~

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Is it supervising that I know the feeling of handcuffs or than chains and whips excite me, or how about the idea of knowing how to serve, I can be a gentleman but a man and his two hands can be or do anything? Give Me A Hand

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Lesson 320 ~Give Me A Hand~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Can You Love Me Again, after I untie you; when you’re looking for new bras and panties. When I make my best impression of Christian Grey covering up all the things I do to you? For someone who likes holding hands, who enjoys a touch, who thinks one of the best things in the world is waking up Saturday morning and listening to 40’s and 50’s apocalyptic pop while a pretty girl touches me, I do like bondage, yeah sue me.

Wrong words in this day and age right but it’s like I tell people “if you’re not my dog, my girl, or applying for the job, don’t touch me” and when’s the last time a girl touched me? I’ve said it before, but I don’t have body issues, but I like control though I can go deeper, trust, loyalty, submission, a few of my favorite things or do I think women are honestly that dangerous? It’s not that you put a woman in chains, it’s that she doesn’t want the key, maybe it’s not that I’m afraid that she’ll hurt me. No, more to the point that she will run away so why even bother?

I’m a traditionalist as you know and I don’t oppose a one-night stand and making love well… there are a few ways to go about that, and still, I refer to Christian Grey not that I agree with Fifty Shades of Grey. I make love, but I fuck too, love is a complicated thing as well as a many-splendored thing, along with sex and we’re back to my need for control, for dominance; I guess when you spend your life as the slave you need to be the Master somewhat. Release The Beast like something out of The Purge, but it’s not for the money, it’s the thrill, the knowing, the fight; today is still not the day for the “Ravishment” conversation but yeah power.

Sex is about power but to have someone give you that power, to trust so much and not only with the act but with the aftercare, a type of control but running a bath, cleaning, sustenance, to serve after such a gift was received. You ask for a girl’s hand for a lifetime but what will I do with those hands, and with my two, that’s the question, pleasure and pain, search and discover, break and rebuild if you were to Give Me A Hand.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 319 ~Keep Your Head Up~

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Perhaps putting one foot in front of the other is the best thing I can do which is why I’m always looking down, maybe I’m looking for a spot to start digging or a thousand other things but shouldn’t I see ahead. Keep Your Head Up.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Lesson 319 ~Keep Your Head Up~

“I’m sick of taking care of everything, paying bills, making peace and plans and keeping my chin up. God, I am so sick of my chin being up.” Angel 04×02

Forgive Me Echo,
Can You Love Me Again, even if I don’t take your advice or maybe you’re just like my manager, in one ear and out the other; you don’t know how often I wish that it was that simple. Like that song from “Frozen” though to be honest I prefer Sam Tsui’s version of “Let It Go/Let Her Go” but anyway my point is my boss a fucking liar. I remember everything, like a damn elephant I never forget; I’m my mother’s son (her sorority emblem so relax.)

My sin is not talking about weight; I get enough of that with “Cherry,” but people all my life have told me I have a big head, and when it comes to women yes I certainly agree. Only I’m not talking about that particular sin either if it is a sin at all. No Inspector Echo today’s sin is as physical as it is mental so long story short, “for the life of me” with everything I do remember I no longer know how to keep my head up. I’m not trying to be all creepy like Monday, remember what I was worried about, but I spent all of today with my eyes glued to the floor, though I fought it for a while maybe.

I’ve been contemplating what I was looking at, so many theories like, if there exist a Heaven and Hell, I know I don’t belong here so maybe I only wanted to go home, no worries Inspector Echo I’m very much alive. It could be the idea that the tears don’t fall but they want to, and grief makes more than hearts heavy, I was reading those “Thirty-Six Questions to fall in love,” and I think one of them was when was the last time you cried. I could be readying myself for the hangman’s noose, I confess to you my sins Inspector Echo but if you truly knew me, if anyone and what about my pride again, Rule 15 “I Take My Own Lumps” if I go down I accept my fate, big balls anyone?

How about the idea that I have so many would be queens in my life and as I tell “Okay” heavy is the head that wears the crown but I’m no king, no prince, maybe a jester’s hat would suit me. Now I could go on but should I only ask do you forgive me for my fear of not wanting to face people, my feelings of being worthless, or the countless theories all of the above, my neck is killing me trying to be better, Keep Your Head Up.

“There’s a saying — the pessimist looks down and hits his head.
The optimist looks up and loses his footing.
The realist looks forward and adjusts his path accordingly.” ― The Walking Dead, The Well

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 313 ~Pockets Full Of Miracles~

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Last week I said life should come with a soundtrack, but it didn’t work as well as I hope… what love songs and adult entertainment are pretty melodies, but my phone stayed in my pocket along with other things. Pockets Full Of Miracles.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Lesson 313 ~Pockets Full Of Miracles~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Can You Love Me Again and again and right after lunch, honestly an orgasm is one of life’s greatest miracles and should be celebrated as such but then again how would anything ever get done? Truthfully the things men find themselves capable of to have this and in so doing one can create life; no, I’m not trying to make any babies now but when we do celebrate an act of love I suppose works fine.

Valentine’s Day everybody knows what the whole idea of that is but nobody seems to have a problem as long as you dress it in pretty flowers and sweet candy but what about panties, condoms, and toys. Birthdays I guess you have to look at from both the male and female perspective, for a guy that has a girl he only truly wants one thing and maybe something extra, getting in her backdoor, and women… my battle cry at the moment is women are complicated. I have one girl that can’t wait to get married, another who couldn’t care less, and a third that only wants to be desired, as for myself. I do picture getting married one day hopefully, and everybody wondering “Is She Really Going Out With Him? Is she really gonna take him home tonight?” did I mention this would be my wedding day, a miracle perhaps?

“Nobody is wasting nobody. That… is a miracle. And miracles is the way things ought to be.” The Warriors (1979)

That’s the thing though, shouldn’t every day be a miracle, one of the reasons I like porn, miracles are a daily occurrence, the girl-next-door, the maid, the flight attendant, milfs are all available and why stop there, pop idols, movie starlets, cosplay girls *sigh*. A woman can wear a bridal gown but you can fuck her as a wife, a submissive, some drunk slut, some Ravishment and it’s okay. What about the guys, pizza men, strippers, tow truck drivers, the average man, hell I would choose to be any of these guys before I would be the “President” and hell Trump fucks pornstars too right?

“We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” Tyler Durden, Fight Club

In the caveman days sex wasn’t anything, but now we have built it up to a version of Heaven and haven’t I said I’m not the caveman but I wouldn’t mind being the sinner, and today I was merely a man wanting a woman but no miracles for me. How did I honestly look at today, as porn, as the last chance to do something great, someone great, it gives credence to the “divine intervention,” but I always heard sex itself is sinful no doubt.

Far from it Dirty Diana, with just the things we keep down below, we have reshaped this world it only took Pockets Full Of Miracles.

“Do you believe in miracles” Al Michaels, Miracle On Ice

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 312 ~Like A Light Switch~

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I wish happiness were as easy to turn on like everything else in my life, hell like myself in some cases but while I’m avoiding some things, let’s hope a smile will not be my undoing. “Like A Light Switch”

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Lesson 312 ~Like A Light Switch~

Forgive Me Echo,
Can You Love Me Again, yeah like I once loved HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, or those afternoons watching “Toonami” or staying up late to watch *gasp* Adult Swim, such were the days before the Internet for me? If I never told you the story before about how I discovered “Hentai” I got two words for you… “Tenchi Muyo!” and just like that, you may bring on the darkness.

So what exactly is today’s sin, maybe it’s a loss of control, I did something today, and it’s one thing when you sin without forethought but to do so when you have experience and those who don’t learn from history… I suppose I am feeling quite blessed today but I swear to you here and now it will go no further on my part, yeah and every “aficionado” says they’re going to kick and what happens next? Is it fair to call me an addict and to be honest I don’t know why I stopped, though am I seeing any benefit; I might have been smart enough to steer clear.

“Never trust a big butt and smile” Bell Biv Devoe

On the other hand, I found something stronger than terror and forgive me for embracing fear, but it keeps you alive, and I don’t even know why I’m stressing, I was yesterday, and here I am today. What about this, the boldness, the daring, the audacity to call myself a dominant when I can’t do something as simple as making friends and especially at such a fragile time in my life. Disappointing as well as tomorrow you know who is coming by and if nothing happens then I have squandered my opportunity, and I won’t be able to make another move, my hands will be tied; instead of hers right…

“Rule number 32: Enjoy the little things.” ― Zombieland (2009)

Aren’t my hands tied already or sleeping like the rest of me because it’s the only way I can find to stop worrying but then again, remember, remember, the fifth of November, almost the same circumstances though I’m not that far gone. Was I practicing self-abstinence then too; if anything I feel somewhat like a kid again when my “adult entertainment” consisted of a binder full of porn and sneaking past library internet safety guidelines.

So will you forgive me Inspector Echo, for the misguided youngster I once was, the stress of youth desired, remembered, and history ignored, my addiction to beautiful women, or calling myself a dominant and my pursuit of the perfect submissive; turned on so casually I’ll say Like A Light Switch?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 310 ~ You Must Always Live Brave~

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Another lesson on fear where I should find the courage to live and I may have done so when I was but a child but with age has come a plethora of bad experiences and I’ve been down this road before. You Must Always Live Brave.

Monday, May 07, 2018

Lesson 310 ~ You Must Always Live Brave~

Thirty-First Rule Madam Justice

Can You Love Me Again, did you love me before and now you’re so afraid of losing me that anyone else can be sacrificed only to keep me safe, but how shall I ever learn to become brave? How do I even define brave, you know what would have been brave today, talking to a pretty brunette, looking a man in the eye, hell maybe speaking a little bit louder, I swear these words.

As I said before courage is merely the acceptance of fear and doing what you wish, fear is a virus and courage found and practiced daily, but some days I guess I don’t and when you miss a day… That’s why I’m always telling myself to get out, to do things that make me afraid so I must be brave yet how foolish is that to seek out fear, “Remember What Fear Taste Like.” Is it not courageous though to face down the monster that I’m always called, to learn from experience and know I am a better man because when has such ideology ever helped me in the end?

Women *sigh* at the end of the day, however, I justify them I can still call it fear, but not when I find myself in pieces, and then that’s not fear at all, that’s actual danger. Nevertheless, that must be faced down. No, I take that back, you must face it head-on but what happens after that Madam Justice, fear not being equal to danger, but I get fired, I get in a fight, people think this or that of me? What about at this particular moment, what would a brave man do, what would an intelligent man do, see that’s the thing I can’t be either because for me the rule is more often you must always survive afraid.

I want to live Madam Justice honest I do, and it’s always once I have power, once I have nothing to lose, which of course is impossible, and in this situation, I stand to lose everything. It won’t be the first rule I’ve broken, and it won’t be the last… am I saying I’m giving up; Madam Justice tell me how, is it not brave to be myself even if that man is a sniveling coward, at least I survive?

One day though, I promise you, if I ever touch life, I won’t let it go and then my friend You Must Always Live Brave.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 306 ~So The Bedsprings Sing~

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Personally, I believe life should come with a soundtrack, but sometimes I want a minute to think even if I’m choosing one head over the other but music does have a way of getting into people right? So The Bedsprings Sing

Thursday, May 03, 2018

Lesson 306 ~So The Bedsprings Sing~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today, and I could tell you a lack of sex is part of the reason why but then you would ask, how long this depression has been. Maybe I haven’t wanted to think about it, and while I could probably provide some songs I want to get married to *shudders* yes I want to deflower a bride but not how you might think my dear Dirty Diana.

That will be a whole different conversation, and I can also give you a list of songs I want a girl to strip with, but as for songs to the actual fucking part, perhaps I should have more hope right? I know sex is a lot more active and as much as I enjoy quoting a song, singing, hell I’ll even dance, when it comes to making love, fucking, knocking boots whatever and however, you wish to describe it, I’m in my head too much. Don’t get me wrong though, I like something soft in the background, something pretty hardcore if I want to play rough but hearing my submissive is what gets me going.

More like a way to drown out my dog’s barking because he will unless he likes the girl as much as I do and when’s the last time he didn’t get pissed at the girl in my bedroom, a long time. As for the music I like, I continue to be a traditionalist for the most part with classic R&B, but I also enjoy “Wicked Game,” “Closer,” and of course your namesake D.D. Of course, I also have a bit of an instrumental soundtrack including the song “Always With Me Always With You” some Samurai Champloo songs, Westworld, and a few video games as well.

Maybe it’s the idea that I have always wanted to make a sex tape so I would rather hear whoever I’m with not that I kiss and tell of course and what porn plays music all the way through, just saying. Comparing sex and porn though; sex and comedy, don’t mind me if I play “I Just Had Sex” or maybe I should come up with a list of songs for after. Didn’t I tell you that sex makes me think and I could come up with a bit of romance
“You/Himawari,” “Wonderwall,” “Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby,” “Escape,” a host of other things and especially the fantastic Ellie Goulding.

“I’ll be in my bunk” ― Jayne Cobb, Firefly (2002)

For right now, all is quiet, I don’t snore (I don’t think), but the dog sometimes does, and I’m not looking for new furniture, but one day I want to admit So The Bedsprings Sing.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 299 ~Deaf Of King Midas~

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When it comes to the perfect woman how long until you get to the lips, something I might have to ask Real Doll right but then again, I’m into scream queens if you know what I mean between kisses. “Deaf of King Midas,” while I hear a bit too much

Thursday, April 26, 2018

Lesson 299 ~Deaf Of King Midas~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today because all that glitters is not gold and if I had enough of that I’m sure I would have quite the scream queen, oh yes Dirty Diana I do like a screamer, a moaner, and a crier. At the same time though any girl; any submissive that I was with would also need to understand the value of silence and the power that silence holds.

I’m not just talking about non-disclosure agreement (NDA) or fucking in public; speaking of which, they shut Backpage down… don’t ask me how I know or why I care, haven’t I said I’m a traditionalist, I wouldn’t pay for sex, okay maybe in Nevada for “the day.” You should also know I’m not one to kiss and tell, hell first I would need a “Wishing Well” because when’s the last time I asked some girl “Can We Talk” and yet I’m so bold sexually right? Cherry and I were talking the other day about what people did before there was language, *sigh* to return to nothing more than a man’s primal nature but in all facets of my life nowadays, it’s a crime to be silent.

Is that why my fantasies these days have been about how to make people shut up; like one is about a girl who is always talking badly about herself, she even brought up grey hairs which wouldn’t matter much if I was pulling them off while she blew me. Yesterday another girl was upset I wasn’t paying her attention and since we have talked about her having blowjob lips, well here come the pictures. I even told another girl that’s busy texting or otherwise on the phone in her car, she’s lucky she isn’t mine because I would find a way to shut her up.

Isn’t it strange that I don’t have a ball gag for those times might dick might be engaged elsewhere; something else I may need if I ever start building the “Black Room” that I desire. No secrets between us right and today is full of secrets with “Avengers: Infinity War” coming out, for all the respect I have for intelligent and smart mouth chicks here or there, what I wouldn’t give to have Black Widow’s or Shuri’s lips occupied.

Even with that image, silence is golden, I’ve kept it in my pants, and you know me and my dirty talk, but for now, Dirty Diana things are quiet for the Deaf Of King Midas.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 296 ~Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat~

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Heaven, Elysium, Home, just give me a room with wi-fi, sunlight, and a place for my dog and I think I’ll be comfortable right here but what was it that Luther Vandross said about a house; one day I’m going to be an old man. Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat

Monday, April 23, 2018

Lesson 296 ~Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat~

Twenty-Ninth Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today because this isn’t Heaven, I wouldn’t even call it home, it’s comfort, security, privacy, the place my family sent me because any mental institution by any name is still just that. Excuse me though for the craziness I’ve been staring at blank white pages for days on end when I think of Heaven though, honestly other than my women Heaven to me would be more like the set of some seedy porno I must admit.

“If a man expects a woman to be an angel, he must create Heaven for her, angels don’t live in Hell” ― an unknown source

I first read this from some meme, and since I am somewhat of a traditionalist, I think this rings slightly right, a man is supposed to have a place, something about a man has a house and a woman makes it a home. Another way to see it is the things men do to reach women, that’s just what it is from the first girl waiting in the tallest tower, to the man who said, “you are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky,” from every song about angels. Anytime I’ve called a girl “angel” let’s say that I had quite high aspirations; the point is that men have always been expected to climb, to rise, to be the best and women… it’s so confusing on the one hand we place them on pedestals, make them the end all be all and then have to climb higher, I’m just saying.

“And hey, I love women. They’re beautiful, majestic, mysterious, mesmerizing creatures. Smart, empathetic, far superior to men in every way. And if I had a choice, I would be with women to my dying day.” ― Friends With Benefits (2011)

Now I also look at this rule regarding death… bring on the depression, but you don’t want to outlive those you love, it’s why children/furbabies passing is such a loss, I’m not a man of faith, but you go to prepare a place for them, not to watch them pass you. Remember last week’s rule; you let your enemies beat you to Hell, you outrun your loved ones to Heaven, that’s just how it goes. So I got a house, perfect if there was a family, three bedrooms, two and a half baths, two cars and no woman and maybe that tells me that Hell doesn’t lie without but more within oneself, don’t you think?

“So, uh, where you headed?

Heaven, baby.
Do you wanna go?

Maybe.” Never Die Alone

That’s just like me though; I have my shining armor always, ask my maid, I clean the castle before she shows up to do that, another girl can tell you, I’ll go and buy food, only to have pasta on the stove too. Aren’t I the Devil looking to get back into Heaven and maybe one day I will know peace but for now who’s early and who’s late *sigh* Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat.

I Will Have No Fear