Tag: Women

Lesson 310 ~ You Must Always Live Brave~

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Another lesson on fear where I should find the courage to live and I may have done so when I was but a child but with age has come a plethora of bad experiences and I’ve been down this road before. You Must Always Live Brave.

Monday, May 07, 2018

Lesson 310 ~ You Must Always Live Brave~

Thirty-First Rule Madam Justice

Can You Love Me Again, did you love me before and now you’re so afraid of losing me that anyone else can be sacrificed only to keep me safe, but how shall I ever learn to become brave? How do I even define brave, you know what would have been brave today, talking to a pretty brunette, looking a man in the eye, hell maybe speaking a little bit louder, I swear these words.

As I said before courage is merely the acceptance of fear and doing what you wish, fear is a virus and courage found and practiced daily, but some days I guess I don’t and when you miss a day… That’s why I’m always telling myself to get out, to do things that make me afraid so I must be brave yet how foolish is that to seek out fear, “Remember What Fear Taste Like.” Is it not courageous though to face down the monster that I’m always called, to learn from experience and know I am a better man because when has such ideology ever helped me in the end?

Women *sigh* at the end of the day, however, I justify them I can still call it fear, but not when I find myself in pieces, and then that’s not fear at all, that’s actual danger. Nevertheless, that must be faced down. No, I take that back, you must face it head-on but what happens after that Madam Justice, fear not being equal to danger, but I get fired, I get in a fight, people think this or that of me? What about at this particular moment, what would a brave man do, what would an intelligent man do, see that’s the thing I can’t be either because for me the rule is more often you must always survive afraid.

I want to live Madam Justice honest I do, and it’s always once I have power, once I have nothing to lose, which of course is impossible, and in this situation, I stand to lose everything. It won’t be the first rule I’ve broken, and it won’t be the last… am I saying I’m giving up; Madam Justice tell me how, is it not brave to be myself even if that man is a sniveling coward, at least I survive?

One day though, I promise you, if I ever touch life, I won’t let it go and then my friend You Must Always Live Brave.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 306 ~So The Bedsprings Sing~

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Personally, I believe life should come with a soundtrack, but sometimes I want a minute to think even if I’m choosing one head over the other but music does have a way of getting into people right? So The Bedsprings Sing

Thursday, May 03, 2018

Lesson 306 ~So The Bedsprings Sing~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today, and I could tell you a lack of sex is part of the reason why but then you would ask, how long this depression has been. Maybe I haven’t wanted to think about it, and while I could probably provide some songs I want to get married to *shudders* yes I want to deflower a bride but not how you might think my dear Dirty Diana.

That will be a whole different conversation, and I can also give you a list of songs I want a girl to strip with, but as for songs to the actual fucking part, perhaps I should have more hope right? I know sex is a lot more active and as much as I enjoy quoting a song, singing, hell I’ll even dance, when it comes to making love, fucking, knocking boots whatever and however, you wish to describe it, I’m in my head too much. Don’t get me wrong though, I like something soft in the background, something pretty hardcore if I want to play rough but hearing my submissive is what gets me going.

More like a way to drown out my dog’s barking because he will unless he likes the girl as much as I do and when’s the last time he didn’t get pissed at the girl in my bedroom, a long time. As for the music I like, I continue to be a traditionalist for the most part with classic R&B, but I also enjoy “Wicked Game,” “Closer,” and of course your namesake D.D. Of course, I also have a bit of an instrumental soundtrack including the song “Always With Me Always With You” some Samurai Champloo songs, Westworld, and a few video games as well.

Maybe it’s the idea that I have always wanted to make a sex tape so I would rather hear whoever I’m with not that I kiss and tell of course and what porn plays music all the way through, just saying. Comparing sex and porn though; sex and comedy, don’t mind me if I play “I Just Had Sex” or maybe I should come up with a list of songs for after. Didn’t I tell you that sex makes me think and I could come up with a bit of romance
“You/Himawari,” “Wonderwall,” “Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby,” “Escape,” a host of other things and especially the fantastic Ellie Goulding.

“I’ll be in my bunk” ― Jayne Cobb, Firefly (2002)

For right now, all is quiet, I don’t snore (I don’t think), but the dog sometimes does, and I’m not looking for new furniture, but one day I want to admit So The Bedsprings Sing.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 299 ~Deaf Of King Midas~

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When it comes to the perfect woman how long until you get to the lips, something I might have to ask Real Doll right but then again, I’m into scream queens if you know what I mean between kisses. “Deaf of King Midas,” while I hear a bit too much

Thursday, April 26, 2018

Lesson 299 ~Deaf Of King Midas~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today because all that glitters is not gold and if I had enough of that I’m sure I would have quite the scream queen, oh yes Dirty Diana I do like a screamer, a moaner, and a crier. At the same time though any girl; any submissive that I was with would also need to understand the value of silence and the power that silence holds.

I’m not just talking about non-disclosure agreement (NDA) or fucking in public; speaking of which, they shut Backpage down… don’t ask me how I know or why I care, haven’t I said I’m a traditionalist, I wouldn’t pay for sex, okay maybe in Nevada for “the day.” You should also know I’m not one to kiss and tell, hell first I would need a “Wishing Well” because when’s the last time I asked some girl “Can We Talk” and yet I’m so bold sexually right? Cherry and I were talking the other day about what people did before there was language, *sigh* to return to nothing more than a man’s primal nature but in all facets of my life nowadays, it’s a crime to be silent.

Is that why my fantasies these days have been about how to make people shut up; like one is about a girl who is always talking badly about herself, she even brought up grey hairs which wouldn’t matter much if I was pulling them off while she blew me. Yesterday another girl was upset I wasn’t paying her attention and since we have talked about her having blowjob lips, well here come the pictures. I even told another girl that’s busy texting or otherwise on the phone in her car, she’s lucky she isn’t mine because I would find a way to shut her up.

Isn’t it strange that I don’t have a ball gag for those times might dick might be engaged elsewhere; something else I may need if I ever start building the “Black Room” that I desire. No secrets between us right and today is full of secrets with “Avengers: Infinity War” coming out, for all the respect I have for intelligent and smart mouth chicks here or there, what I wouldn’t give to have Black Widow’s or Shuri’s lips occupied.

Even with that image, silence is golden, I’ve kept it in my pants, and you know me and my dirty talk, but for now, Dirty Diana things are quiet for the Deaf Of King Midas.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 296 ~Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat~

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Heaven, Elysium, Home, just give me a room with wi-fi, sunlight, and a place for my dog and I think I’ll be comfortable right here but what was it that Luther Vandross said about a house; one day I’m going to be an old man. Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat

Monday, April 23, 2018

Lesson 296 ~Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat~

Twenty-Ninth Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today because this isn’t Heaven, I wouldn’t even call it home, it’s comfort, security, privacy, the place my family sent me because any mental institution by any name is still just that. Excuse me though for the craziness I’ve been staring at blank white pages for days on end when I think of Heaven though, honestly other than my women Heaven to me would be more like the set of some seedy porno I must admit.

“If a man expects a woman to be an angel, he must create Heaven for her, angels don’t live in Hell” ― an unknown source

I first read this from some meme, and since I am somewhat of a traditionalist, I think this rings slightly right, a man is supposed to have a place, something about a man has a house and a woman makes it a home. Another way to see it is the things men do to reach women, that’s just what it is from the first girl waiting in the tallest tower, to the man who said, “you are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky,” from every song about angels. Anytime I’ve called a girl “angel” let’s say that I had quite high aspirations; the point is that men have always been expected to climb, to rise, to be the best and women… it’s so confusing on the one hand we place them on pedestals, make them the end all be all and then have to climb higher, I’m just saying.

“And hey, I love women. They’re beautiful, majestic, mysterious, mesmerizing creatures. Smart, empathetic, far superior to men in every way. And if I had a choice, I would be with women to my dying day.” ― Friends With Benefits (2011)

Now I also look at this rule regarding death… bring on the depression, but you don’t want to outlive those you love, it’s why children/furbabies passing is such a loss, I’m not a man of faith, but you go to prepare a place for them, not to watch them pass you. Remember last week’s rule; you let your enemies beat you to Hell, you outrun your loved ones to Heaven, that’s just how it goes. So I got a house, perfect if there was a family, three bedrooms, two and a half baths, two cars and no woman and maybe that tells me that Hell doesn’t lie without but more within oneself, don’t you think?

“So, uh, where you headed?

Heaven, baby.
Do you wanna go?

Maybe.” Never Die Alone

That’s just like me though; I have my shining armor always, ask my maid, I clean the castle before she shows up to do that, another girl can tell you, I’ll go and buy food, only to have pasta on the stove too. Aren’t I the Devil looking to get back into Heaven and maybe one day I will know peace but for now who’s early and who’s late *sigh* Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 292 ~Marquis De Sade, Works~

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I wonder how long the works of Marquis de Sade were, and he wrote plenty more books than me along with them knowing publication regardless of content, I could work such infamy or just a good girl that wants to be naughty. Marquis De Sade, Works.

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Lesson 292 ~Marquis De Sade, Works~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today but never have I been as far gone as let’s say maybe Marquis de Sade, though you know I have taken on the name Marquis de Joker in some regions of my life. How often I find myself merging my ideas between you and the others but yes I have been writing out my fantasies in my novel “Temptations End” so yeah it’s probably good that it will never see the light of day I think.

I wish it were something like “120 Days of Sodom” but no my book is horrible in a different kind of way; as Marquis de Sade truly harnessed his gift, my work is more like a horny fanboy making his first porn. Now it is a fantasy to be one of those authors that can get ladies to spread their legs and struggle with holding their books as they finger themselves or play with their toys. Yeah, I’m no writer, and I’m no Fabio either as I put myself in all of my stories and I don’t only mean blood, sweat, and tears or even cum; I suppose I want to live what I imagine.

Only back to reality and I’m sure I’ve said this before, I want to spend my days writing and having some girl suck me off when I get plenty excited but speaking of which, what doesn’t excite me these days. Violence, death, and as always, sexy brunettes so yeah I’m going to miss The Walking Dead, already been working on my Pinterest boards of some of the ladies. Hell, my latest book is about a man that can have any woman he wants in the span of an apocalypse; did I only say my most recent book, third and not a dollar or a woman to be seen for it?

I’m sure Marquis de Sade wasn’t writing for a paycheck, he was revealing things about himself and his views on humanity which then begs the question since I’m not getting read period and I swore off “Fapping” at the moment, why do I continue? Maybe our next conversation should be about teasing or perhaps orgasm denial, more stuff to read up on I suppose right?

Maybe I shouldn’t be writing but instead living but that requires money and what am I doing for that, my day job what a joke even Marquis De Sade, Works.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 289 ~Going To Hell, Them First~

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I’ve never pictured myself making it to Heaven and anybody that ticks me off certainly ain’t that righteous because if you get your rocks off torturing someone like me… anyway another story. Going To Hell, Them First as it should be ha

Monday, April 16, 2018

Lesson 289 ~Going To Hell, Them First~

Twenty-Eighth Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today, it’s this hate, you know me Madam Justice, I don’t want to hurt anybody when I walk out the door, noted I’m always ready for a war with a few choice individuals but live and let live. So I go to the movies last night, just trying to order some snacks and these four women start pointing and laughing at me like I’m some big joke, nobody else just them.

That’s the problem, like with any disease you don’t want to do damage to what’s right and healthy but the virus, the bad only wishes to infect every single part of what is the best of us. I’m not Cancer Madam Justice, I know what you’re thinking, even though if I were one for reincarnation I would like to be a virus, a zombie sickness if I may be ever so specific. If anything I’m wounded and all I want to do is heal, but people like my boss, like those stupid women, that janitor, that bitch poke me, they won’t stop, they want to know. If you keep poking at a wound what happens, as Morgan would put it, “you know what it is” you know I’m sure right?

Still, I don’t die though everyone does, only you outlive your enemies, not friends… that is honestly going in my rules, but the thing is for a guy like me, hate cannot know such distance, not if I am going to be a part of this world. I hate my father and how many years has it been, I hate that girl, and it’s day two-hundred and eighty freaking nine and who knows if she’s given me a second thought. Again I don’t want to hurt anybody, so I suffer, and they live, but one of the reasons I continued to live and write is because one day I have faith I won’t be the only one here; I shouldn’t be the first at all.

If you told me I could let go of my hate and go to Heaven I could and in less than twenty-four hours it would find me again because that’s what people do, we hate, we instill hate. Another one of my rules states “Hate Will Keep You Alive,” and I don’t want to die. So I don’t suppose that I will see Hell for a long time, I’ve learned Going To Hell, Them First.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 286 ~A “Write” Man’s Job~

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I know one word I should write over and over, but that word isn’t polite in present company, though to be honest how many times does it appear in novel… that’s not getting published for real. A Write Man’s Job.

Friday, April 13, 2018

Lesson 286 ~A “Write” Man’s Job~

“This is war! What did you expect, glamor! There are no good choices, only lesser degrees of evil.” The Price

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Fine Today, looking at things I probably shouldn’t write, is it just me or does that title sound a bit racial to you… if anything that is perhaps the least of my problems as of late. “99 Problems” and my story *sigh* is one, two, hell why not over half but the thing is, at least I’m doing, but then again why am I talking to you first instead of writing, no offense Sophia.

If it isn’t my writing, then it’s all the spoilers, The Walking Dead Finale is Sunday, and so is the start of Fear The Walking Dead and I’m scared for all the wrong reasons I suppose. Now that is something my writing can do, scare people because it’s certain no one will be waiting with bated breath for my work, especially the hot garbage I produced the other day. It’s 18,190 words detailing the life of one wasted human, and yet I write which should tell you something; what that I’m out of options because what else can I do, considering the day job sadly.

Just another bit of writing I’ve done, getting my books in order, I do mean the financial; I burned through my entire budget in less than a half-hour, and I have to pick-up my groceries at Walmart, still trying to save some tie. Speaking of time, what about all the books I am so far behind on, and my girls, the good news is they’re all busy doing but are any of them honestly living the life they want? “Cherry” would spend her life on her back and isn’t that my fictional story, just one big porno flick, maybe that’s why I don’t see more guys doing this, just saying.

I’m sure somebody thinks that the RIGHT man for a job is a woman and in that, I can agree here and there but that doesn’t mean I should stop writing now does it? If I do cease writing, I should stop writing excuses, apologies, words to tear myself down when the world will do that for me, like they haven’t already and isn’t that why I write?

All I have to do is bleed to write, but I’m not dead yet, almost like Morgan Jones “I don’t die” it is my curse to watch others because Lady Sophia this is A Write Man’s Job.

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” ― from Ernest Hemingway

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 285 ~Calling In An Old-Fashioned~

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Let’s hear it for the boy because at least if I’m clapping, that’s one more thing my hands could be doing, besides writing, or waving them around like I “just don’t care” and at the moment I don’t. Calling In An Old-Fashioned

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Lesson 285 ~Calling In An Old-Fashioned~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today; my hands have been plenty busy, on writing you pervert, oh that’s right maybe I forgot who I was talking to now, and I don’t know if this is going to be all types of sexy or what. It’s not my novel, again this would be more up Lady Sophia’s alley, and I was going to say ass but today is more about self-gratification or should I say a lack thereof, thirty-three days and still counting.

Sometimes even a quickie isn’t possible; men have their usual porn, you know I have “The Motherlode” seriously I miss that show “Secret Girlfriend” you should go watch if you haven’t. Do women keep one hand on their books and one on their toys; it is HARD work trying to type and pleasure oneself at the same damn time, but I’m behaving, yes a good boy for the most part. I’m not suggesting that there’s something wrong with masturbation just so you know, but then you ask me why I stopped, and I have more than enough reasons, one of them being the “thirst,” *sigh*.

My mother told me though, you don’t go to the grocery store when you’re hungry, which is accurate enough when it comes to food ready to go but a hunter who has to or needs to, without a doubt score a kill? On the other hand, I did not say that did I, like on this episode of “Solitary” those people think they were starving, but a small taste of something has them ready to explode. Is this my way of saying I need to stop “edging” with the porn, I might as well stop writing my novel then, don’t you think or find a woman as you are suggesting.

Since my hands have been pretty busy maybe this why I’m leaning towards a hand-job and those can happen anywhere; it’s even a fantasy of mine to be doing precisely this, to be writing and just having some ladylove beside me taking care of business. In the movies, in the library, yeah I don’t think I’m winning over any stores to be sure, and as for my writing who knows what would happen if I gave into temptation but no.

Just like one of my girls, I would like to watch so I would know entirely the magic these fingers could do because it ain’t writing but I was always better Calling In An Old-Fashioned.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 284 ~Do I Love Guns~

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Honestly, I have talked more about having a family than ever owning a gun, but with how things are going these days… well, it seems I have the attention of the gun lovers, but preferring women, yeah I’m the bad guy. Do I Love Guns

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Lesson 284 ~Do I Love Guns~

“A good question – for another time.” ― Maz Kanata

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Fine Today, and not only because I’m taking so long to talk to you or that I won’t speak about my unfortunate lack of a prom; just a novel and the Second Amendment got in the way. Making money and guns, what an excellent conservative I would make though according to Facebook I am moderate, which makes sense, still damn I was hoping to be a liberal but that might only be in some rock HARD areas if you know what I mean Inspector.

So what brought this on, I received a letter from the NRA wanting me to join up, as the Christians would say, not today Satan but funny how most of them are card-carrying members of the NRA, for a moment I was thinking identity theft when I opened the letter. Suppose Mark Zuckerberg owes me an apology, but then again I am an open book when it comes to everything except whatever title I’m currently writing which brings me to an excuse. It stinks, my novel, is complete utter garbage and before “Indiana Gone,” “Cherry,” or “Okay” tries to say something, let’s get it all out on the table, I hate my writing, so there.

Strangely enough, I don’t hate the right to bear arms, don’t get me wrong Inspector Echo, there need to be some strict ass gun laws. I know plenty of people that shouldn’t have them; could throw myself into the mix but I want an assault rifle at some point, a pistol. Damn let me hold the button for a minute and you know I’m not a violent person; who have I hurt, we live in the real world, and with the way things are going, I might need some protection I should think. Another reason people shouldn’t read my book, if you compare my fiction to me, hell I shouldn’t be permitted to hold a gun, let alone a pen or a keyboard but lucky for me the NRA I think are total gun nuts.

While I despise most people, the NRA that protects guns more than children for example, what does this say about me, if you checked out my NEW Pinterest boards there aren’t many guns, but pillows, puppies, whatever we’re naming them this week are plenty? I guess that makes me a bad guy but a bunch of weapons I can keep in the closet… I am sorry that makes me such and such a person so to answer… yes I do love guns, but sorry I won’t be joining the NRA, but since my writing stinks, who knows if they’ll see this, still sorry not sorry.

For the #MeToo movement um, something, something, sorry I don’t respect women as much as you think I should, though I think I’m a sweetheart mostly but in the end how Do I Love Guns.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 282 ~Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage~

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What is a second of courage, an idea, a step, eye contact, a few more seconds, one foot in front of the other, and still there are more and am I facing oblivion yet, five minutes, an hour, what is twenty seconds that? Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage

Monday, April 9, 2018

Lesson 282 ~Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage~

Twenty-Seventh Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today, how can I be; I’ve always had this sneaking suspicion that the world will come to an end any second, so I’m forever trying to survive until the next five minutes. If I make it give five more, anyone who knows me can say I am a stickler for time unless I feel that whatever it is no longer matters, e.g., my day job, once upon a time I would show up fifteen minutes early.

Sometimes Madam Justice I can easily blame my OCD, but for the most part, it’s fear because when it comes to something like “women” as the song goes “Can We Talk.” Hell, I’m not asking for fifteen, five, hell I’m not asking for even a minute, all I need is twenty seconds, that’s the hard part. What can a man do in twenty seconds, I know women who would have some interesting answers, but men can destroy the world, or you can save a life, you can give love “If Only For One Night” and some might even offer forever.

Honestly Madam Justice I have yet to decide what type of man I will be even at my age, but unfortunately, I have yet to be a brave one, though people have seen different sides of me. Here’s the thing though, let’s reread the rule, I am focusing on “courage” when I should relish on “insane,” and that is something that most will not deny about me, this is something I utterly believe above all else. So if I can get the time right and feel what others think to be insane, as in I have great courage, what is stopping me, there is nothing.

I mean come on just today I have wasted over three hours of my life on something I believe has no value according to me… I am starting to sound like “Cherry” no matter how many times you tell her something she won’t understand. Maybe that’s the trick, thinking I’m insane when it might be the rest of the world, and I’m normal, sort of like that story that the girl told in Veronika Decides to Die: A Novel of Redemption, see how crazy I am becoming these days Justice.

I could be crazy enough to tell you why I didn’t go to prom, well more a story for Inspector Echo am I right? Anyway sometimes I think I see the bigger picture, and other times I only want to live the next few minutes well, sort of like “The 13th Warrior” but most of all I want to be the man I know I can be if I show Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage.

I Will Have No Fear