Tag: Women

Episode 087 ~Will Buys Some L’s~

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If only I stuck to brunettes and not hot redheads, or girls that want me to work certain days and a manager that doesn’t know I will not tolerate, Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest but I’m still the loser here. Will Buys More L’s

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Episode 087 ~Will Buys Some L’s~

Forgive Me Echo,
How to make One Million Dollars or not because let’s be honest, I’m lazy, late, and driven by lust on the best of days and of course, this isn’t one, and I can’t remember the last one, to be honest. I wasn’t lazy at the day job, no, only a loser and yes this is going to be one more depressing conversation, I have noticed my viewership going down which is saying a lot and I want to say I don’t pay people to like me ever…

So should I explain what happened yesterday when DUMB asked me for money, and I reached into my pocket, as luck would have it I didn’t have enough but what is it they say, it’s the thought that counts? I’m continually complaining about money nowadays, and both DUMB and DUMBER are costing me because I don’t know how to deal with those assholes other than to lay back and take it, fuck, and I know Inspector Echo, watch the language.

Love is a bad word or even like which explains why I was such a lame brain today on Messenger but what am I afraid of, other than someone putting a pretty girl in front of me and I get all stupid? Hell if I let nature happen and give up this whole NO FAP nonsense I would be quite lucid most of the day, and I wouldn’t have to sit here in fear of tomorrow, but at least I told one of the managers no about work because I can’t let the anxiety go Inspector Echo, you know that.

Which leads me to why we’re talking now instead of hours ago, and it’s not that I’m lethargic, again I am afraid and you know something, perhaps that’s the silver lining; while I’m nowhere near courageous, I’m alive, I’m moving, and the movie ain’t over yet. However, am I lying to myself thinking that I can change it, I “try” to get healthier and every day it seems I get sick, I say I’m going to work, and then I repeat later on. Every Morning, the alarm lambastes me, and instead of fighting to stay awake or do something productive or constructive, I do nothing; sometimes even worse I go back to sleep, my hypocrisy.

“Fear does something strange to people like Al. But not you. Fear doesn’t shut you down, it wakes you up.” Tobias Eaton A.K.A. Four (Divergent)

Can you forgive me Inspector Echo, for being as low as I’ve been for… hell who knows, and again it’s lying to say things might get better, how about forgiveness for losing “loot” from motivation to rap right, I’m sorry for being lame and of course Will Buys More L’s.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 083 ~Will Whisper To God~

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What’s one more lazy day, I couldn’t scream to get up but one noise from my phone and it’s time to get to work, just in case right and let me say that church never got me to do that but the day job, my father, a pretty girl *sigh*. Will Whisper To God

Saturday, September 22, 2018

Episode 083 ~Will Whisper To God~

Hey Lady Lu,
How to make One Million Dollars; well I hear tell people will sell their souls to Satan for much less and give themselves to God for nothing at all and pretend that their Laughing With either or. I believe that the Devil gives better advice but at the same time what is the sum of human wisdom… I figured there was a good reason I dreamed about Alexandre Dumas, to the point, quotes and The Shawshank Redemption; more jail dreams just saying.

‘all human wisdom is contained in these two words, ‘Wait and Hope.” ― Alexandre Dumas

That seems to be my battle cry these days, and people have often told me I’m a good listener unless it’s something about me, and then they all turn into politicians, but hell I’m the same when it comes to listening to myself sadly. There’s never an argument when I have to get out of bed in the morning for the day job, no confusion when my little boy needs me to let him back in the house and when a beautiful girl comes calling, wow. If anything that’s what got me out of bed today, another pretty girl on “Whisper” did I ever tell you that’s how I met Indiana Gone, met another girl who couldn’t stand my face.

Now did she say that; not in so many words and now I got one more that disappeared all of a sudden and so I listen to my inner voice, and you know how they ask would you like you if you met you; yeah I hate that guy. The Devil Is A Lie, but she’s focused, and as I often say, everything I could ever want in this world is impossible, immoral, illegal, and insanity but not to her; does that make me sexist making the Devil female? It explains why God never had a chance, the Devil would, of course, garner my desire but God, Our Father, a black man that I could never talk to, oh yeah he’s always there right but these are not the days to cry out to him, roar, or scream, no you whisper Lady Lu, remember that.

It’s why the world is a mess right now and if we are born in God’s image; again, I don’t fear success, but I have seen what I do when I’m no longer whispering, the worlds I’ve created, the actions I have taken and yet I Will Whisper To God.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 081 ~Ring A Ding Will~

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A woman can help a man find his bravery but don’t mistake stupidity for courage and my how I feel stupid at the moment even with a clear head, but strangely I’m the richer for it even when I picked up the phone and dialed. Ring A Ding Will.

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Episode 081 ~Ring A Ding Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How to make One Million Dollars, well first off let me say how happy I am that porn is free or maybe not considering time is valuable and how much have I wasted this week… I should enjoy the clarity while it last. How I’m going to miss that killer instinct though, maybe I shouldn’t say that considering the world we live in, save that for Isaku, Church by Stylo Fantome, and a Playboy subscription, okay so I’m a hypocrite sadly.

I would choose to be a hypocrite than a failure as Mr. Trump can attest to but despite it all, he managed to score Stormy Daniels and please don’t ask me where my hot blonde is but I know I’m serious when I find the courage to pick up the phone and start dialing. Dirty Diana, I tell you that I am dead serious when I’m in my kitchen and a woman texts, and we’re talking about food, and she says burgers are good, but I’ll give you a blow job for your shrimp pasta, and then both are sitting on the table. You know I’m not giving up when I have a closet full of outfits that I sure as Hell ain’t wearing because someday soon I’m going to have some submissive with voluptuous tits, or amazing legs… it was her legs that made me break today honestly.

As you can see I’m “trying” to be all sorts of positive because I broke today but better to do that than to do what I was planning but who knows what will happen when I go shopping today, one of the reasons to like Halloween, wigs, collars, slutty outfits. What, people are already gearing up for Christmas, and I could go all into Dear Future Wife mode, but right now it’s not my heart that concerns me, something else has to get back up along with the rest of me. You know Tony Montana has it right, and I’m still getting it backward, however Dirty Diana when I make my New Year’s Resolutions, one is always, to either have a new woman in my bed for the month or a steady supply of sex.

That’s why I’m up now… on my feet getting back in the ring because come tomorrow, hell some hours from now I’ll be a mess, that is unless I honestly am the man Dirty Diana, somebody knows that I’m the man *sigh* Ring A Ding Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 075 ~Big Names Excuse Will~

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The Man stands tall; he doesn’t have to say he’s big, grand, or as the song goes, gigantic, gigantic, but I have a big, big love if I ever paid my words any attention but like English class, I was busy writing excuses. Big Names Excuse Will

Friday, September 14, 2018

Episode 075 ~Big Names Excuse Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give Me One Reason not to make an excuse; my fifth-grade year of school, I damn near wrote a novel with them, considered it an elective, and it was my first shot at nonfiction… what, eye drops freaked me out, and afterward I forgot about homework. Is that why working from home has come back to bite me in the ass, and of course you ask, why don’t I go to the library today and I have excuses for that too. Need to preserve the car tires until I get new ones, how about the day job, or my little boy WAS sick a few days ago.

However, If I Had $1,000,000; I miss writing plans like that, of course, it was never how to get the money but what I would do once I had it and one of those things would be to give my son the best life ever. I was sitting in the car listening to my motivation playlist of course and the guy says, is it possible to have a million dollars in a year and just saying I thought there is no excuse I shouldn’t be a millionaire, more like a Billionaire. Why should I write even more explanations when I have my purpose WRITING and my why, My SON, REVENGE, POWER, maybe that’s the thing, my whys must outnumber all those things I can blame.

The big stories that seem so incredible, so “Legen-Wait For It… DARY!” that I do get discouraged, how I wish I was that smart, and make me question how they got away with it, 4 Years Trapped in My Mind Palace, Detroit: Become Human or Bible Black. Those names that I hope to be, strive to “date,” and titles I want as much as my name itself, Will Smith, Jennifer Lawrence, and while I should want to be me how about, author, husband, father. Oh Lady Sophia, what big dreams I have, to never worry about money again, to have that brothel. Maybe to get even with those that have done me wrong; yeah my anger doesn’t disappear overnight but how about this; never having to introduce myself, ever again.

My name has to be bigger; my word needs to be greater because now it’s sorry Benjamin Franklin, I have to hide you for a rainy day while I spend Washington and Lincoln. My apologies to the Fanning sisters, stick with my Pinterest, and Alice Little I dream of coming to the ranch someday, and yeah my son needs medication but Big Names Excuse Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 074 ~The Turncoat Has Will~

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From “The Day” to this past week, living all alone in America as a black man, okay sure I have my son but finding a good woman… okay, today is never about finding a good one, but sweet maybe, and so I’ve had to look elsewhere. “The Turncoat Has Will”

Thursday, September 13, 2018

Episode 074 ~The Turncoat Has Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason to feel bad about it, as the song goes; we’re all the same color when we turn out the light, the thing is we’re all looking for that brightness be it a video camera, to be better than who we are or dare I call it love.

“White women don’t bring nothing but trouble.”

“That ain’t white women, but women.”

“That’s your women.” Save the Last Dance

Now before I get zealous, erudite, or racial let’s talk about Colors… of clothes that is because my battle standard is usually black and red, I’ll let Wiz Khalifa do Black And Yellow, though if we were talking a girl in a little black dress or yellow sundress… I’ve found that I like bright colors on women just as you’ll usually see me in black, anything to mix with darkness which seems to be the underlying theme, black and white, salt and pepper and take for example women like Zoe Kravitz and Alicia Keys. To quote another song, I got sunshine, on a cloudy day; now I could go on and on about how I want a woman to dress, but that’s a long story; only a woman that matches me in black, a thought.

How about the whole blonde vs. brunette, I told “Okay” that brunettes always get me going but why; even more so if a woman can go back and forth, for example, this MILF I know or Andrea Logan White. How about Jennifer Lawrence but don’t get me wrong I have a thing for all kinds of hairstyles and colors from redheads to black hair so it must be something else. Still brunettes I mean damn.

Speaking of that or more Damnation as most people will think I’m wrong for this because this past week I’ve been fighting with black men but when it comes to black women I know two good ones, my mom and “Indiana Gone.” When I was young, I had maybe a “fetish” for Asian women, somewhat now, but I wouldn’t call it that anymore but I could see myself falling for such a woman. My idea though of being with a white woman, if anything it is only experience, the idea of repeating the same thing and expecting a different result, and when it comes to black vs. white though I am reluctant to use this word I find umm happiness.

Dressing is one thing, hair color, okay, but it has nothing to do with skin, black people have made it abundantly clear I’m not black enough, worthy of anything, one of them so yeah say You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’ while wanting to fuck anyone else well yeah it’s a decision, The Turncoat Has Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 069 ~Well Will Wasn’t Lit~

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I’ve never been one for burning books… well except if those books happen to have my name on them, or from a blog here or there but as you can probably see I haven’t been on fire lately anyway. “Well Will Wasn’t Lit”

Saturday, September 8, 2018

Episode 069 ~Well Will Wasn’t Lit~

Hey Lady Lu,
Give Me One Reason other than they burn books at 451 degrees, that we shouldn’t say goodbye to Summer just yet or that I haven’t made a wish on a star forever, so why on Earth would I need candles? This whole week, I’ve expected squad lights, an interrogation room, I’ve seen the sun in the sky and the light reflected on nickels and dimes, cash burning a hole in my pocket, while I’ve watched others lights vanish into Hellfire itself easily.

Can we at least agree that the cops aren’t looking for me? With as many as I’ve seen… probably not without a healthy dose of Electroconvulsive Therapy (yes I looked that up). Maybe one good release but I’m back on NO FAP. Should I get back to writing then and be warmed by my fire… probably not today, a man has to eat and while I would prefer another type of Cherry Pie than what I had on “The Day” well DoorDash is enlightening. Speaking of which I’m sure you’re interested how “The Day” turned out and I would say that I’ve seen the light, but you know how I tend to repeat history and so I didn’t need it to know *sigh* That’s How You Know you f***** up.

Should a person get more responses than the age facing them, that would be thirty-four, besides “Indiana Gone,” “Okay,” my immediate family (that’s three) Pizza Hut, and OKC, nobody knew, seven messages and I made sure the Ranches down in Nevada didn’t know. I didn’t need anyone trying to make a buck off of me, but again DoorDash did, and I regret that because I didn’t want to get off my lazy butt for McDonald’s and I’m out fifteen dollars. “Indiana Gone” did pay me back a lot plus another fifty for “The Day” but all that’s going towards Project Alamo, seriously I’m still Alive, how and why, inquiring minds?

So is there a silver lining other than my beard in the bathroom lights, what about some light at the end of the road, and am I not on the Highway To Hell which is the only light that remains constant in this life? Who knows what I will find in the blaze that seeks to swallow me. In All The Stars which have existed much longer than I can ever remember. But, so you know, Well Will Wasn’t Lit.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 068 ~Will To See Tomorrow~

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I am not a prophet though if the future is anything like I write about, um you should be running, only today/tomorrow well… you know I like looking five minutes ahead, and here I am twenty-four hours in advance. “Will To See Tomorrow?”

Friday, September 7, 2018

Episode 068 ~Will To See Tomorrow~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give me one reason other than I’ll be sleeping in my bed, but of course, I couldn’t possibly know that seeing as I’m writing this a day before. Honestly, Lady Sophia cut me some slack, this is the one day I’m allowed to miss, and you didn’t even exist. How did you get so lucky and why was I so strong that another year has passed and I would say for the worst sadly but about today?

I don’t know what to tell you; if it’s another typical day I’ll be at the house not worried about my writing which is one less thing in a sea of troubles; I always say I’ll spend it in bed crying but I “rarely” do. I’m probably exhausted, there is so much I did yesterday and for what, I asked for this day off for obvious reasons but I wanted to clean the house, cut the grass, possibly find food and I’m still sitting in bed. Of course, I’ve had a conversation with Dirty Diana, but that’s still about my Pinterest concerns and I know I must be boring you, who knows about the future?

“Lawgiver, who knows about the future?”

The Lawgiver “Perhaps only the dead.” Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973)

Okay so if I can’t write about tomorrow/today in reality how about if I’m still alive after thirty-four, how would I like to spend it… with a family, my firstborn, my wife, the children who share my DNA, poor them. Positive vibes, I’m really “trying” Lady Sophia but what about an end of the world orgy which is where all my novels nowadays are headed, yes a prior conversation. I’m having trouble thinking of something else, having my books as bestsellers, money, power, should I make a wish, that would involve cake which would include another trip to the store and as far as my favorite foods, I was sick today/yesterday, thank you Taco Bell.

I will live to see today/tomorrow especially since I downed a 5-hour ENERGY so I can clean house literally, you would think I’m expecting a party or some company, a miracle even and I don’t count, well you know. Today is only one more day, to think I might have gotten serious about blogging and what good came from this, what emerged from me arriving on the planet, does anyone have Will To See Tomorrow?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 067 ~Will A Bit Longer~

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I tell you one day I’ll get over this, no not the “The Day” that haunts me as long as I live but getting over being afraid of Pinterest which I should perhaps add to my list of dirty words and not in a fun way. Will A Bit Longer.

Thursday, September 6, 2018

Episode 067 ~Will A Bit Longer~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason, other than I haven’t found forever, hell I’m not sure I even want it, again at this stage in the game I only want to be Dennis Hof but still, I am a traditionalist, on the eve of thirty-four and I do want that “nuclear family.” A conversation better suited for the Future Wife but any wife of mine should know what it’s like to have her hands tied up and how I wish I could do the same to Time itself.

“Synchronize your watches.”

“I don’t know how to do that.”

“I don’t have a watch.”

“Time is a construct.” (TAG)

We never know how much time we got right Dirty Diana, and how often do they say live every moment, every breath, hell every word as your last, and we don’t, do we because we’re afraid of being labeled skeevy, perverts, sluts, whores, cum dumpsters *sigh* dirty talk. You can call a girl by her name and be labeled a stalker, a fuckboy, a creeper; focused, that’s my problem, I don’t hide in trash cans, work schedules, addresses, I’m more like, put her in my next book, keep my hands off of her but on pen and paper or my keyboard. I still believe I dug my own grave yesterday telling the truth, hell Alycia, Alicia, Alicia, or Alexa, Alexa, Alexa, one got me into trouble because she’s brunette, the other’s not black enough, another animated, one I wanted to know her name, I’m a fan of Amazon, and the WWE, my sweet buttery Jesus.

Maybe Rumpelstiltskin had the right idea hiding his name, 1984 with Newspeak, Fahrenheit 451 destroying books; women talk about periods, and it scares men to death, “Cherry” fashions herself a modern-day Lolita (she’s 21), Liv Morgan calls herself a juvenile delinquent (WWE), then there’s the whole DDLG/DDMG scene in BDSM. I do much worse Diana, what about the book Ravishment: The Dark Side of Erotic Fantasy by Desmond Ravenstone, a polite way of covering up a certain fantasy am I right; don’t speak it. Le Marquis de Sade didn’t give a fuck, and some call him “the freest spirit who ever existed,” but where did he spend most of his time… one more reason bondage is fascinating, and my cell is one of dotted i’s and crossed t’s just saying.

Sometimes I believe the time is never, to publish my books, to ask questions, to be with someone, as the song goes What’s My Age Again, don’t make me repeat it, so much time and yet to dream of such maddening Power so need I truly Will A Bit Longer.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 064 ~You Vote With Your Crotch~

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When I was voting for a president that was easy and sad, between blondes and brunettes, kiss or kill, money and everything else, what story I’m going to write next, will I ever get the opportunity at this rate? “Vote With Your Crotch.”

Monday, September 3, 2018

Episode 064 ~You Vote With Your Crotch~

Forty-Eighth Rule Madam Justice

Give Me One Reason, to fight my biology, the Chemical impulses, or the denial of fate, especially at this stage of the game, I haven’t known such fear since hmm… cops burst down my father’s door years ago; I nearly lost my job because of some bitch. How about the first time I saw Little Lupe, I visited Motherless.com, and now Pinterest again, hell if I’m still here Wednesday I might tell you all about it but now Co-Ed Confidential.

“At 4 1/2 months old, a human fetus has a reptile’s tail; a remnant of our evolution. Maybe that’s what I couldn’t escape. You can fight a lot of enemies and survive. But if you fight your biology, you will always lose.” Lord Of War

You’ll have to forgive me if I can’t get the quote word for word but James from Co-Ed Confidential (porn series) talks about how your head can become confused, your gut can do so many things, your heart, how it’s broken but your crotch well… points the way. I didn’t say the right direction but somewhere wanted, hell it’s how you get Trump in the White House, a guy sleeps with pornstars, the Catholic church, and its horrors, and a Pastor gropes Ariana Grande. Meanwhile all day I’ve felt utterly terrified, and it will probably be worse tomorrow, today being a holiday and all, I still remember when I got sent to an “alternative school” for my “wanting” of violence; honestly the lesser of two evils Madam Justice I’m saying.

“I believe in consequences.

No, you believe in guilt.

Maybe. But guilt, before we act, is called morality.” Liberal Arts

What about wrestling, I’ve seen Charlotte Flair naked, but I still root for Becky Lynch for wanting to kick her ass because I believe that’s fair, now why can’t that be the same for other women, for other decisions in my life. Something beautiful can stop a lot of destruction and then again it’s beauty that can cause the same annihilation and then you know what they say about an eye for an eye. Atom Bomb Baby, so if wanting madness and mayhem makes me question Am I A Psycho and a beautiful woman makes me a creeper what else is there? Power for power but what leads to this and that Justice is MONEY.

“An eye for an eye and the world goes blind.”

“In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king” (Mixed and different sources)

So if this rule has landed me in such hot water, why don’t I ignore it; because before there was money, when love was not a concept, when feeding your belly and standing tall was all there was, and getting your head caved in well… there was flesh, and that guides everything. Now if I told you that money was all there was for me what would you say, which is worse; the want of death, of life, of all things material, even wanting to be a better man, every single day we vote, how so, Vote With Your Crotch.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 062 ~A Willing Twenty-Four Hours~

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I should adopt the attitude I once had when I was back in school. When somebody asked how was your day; you say “I don’t want to talk about it” and for once I’ve got nothing to say, but I’m waiting for “The Day.” A Willing Twenty-four Hours

Saturday, September 1, 2018

Episode 062 ~A Willing Twenty-Four Hours~

Hey Lady Lu,
Give Me One Reason not to think about this or that, have you noticed that the more you try to ignore a particular subject, the more it comes up, sort of like air, you don’t think about it, but I’m sure everybody has had a moment where they needed to catch it. If they didn’t, are they living or surviving, though for me it usually comes as a moment of anxiety, how I *sigh* plenty in my writing and I saw something pretty interesting on Instagram today.

Today, I’m more awake and not surprisingly lazier but “trying” not to think about things such as porn, takes plenty out of me but I haven’t taken any naps…am I coming out of my Depression maybe? Why Depression, well we’ll get to that but my little boy is a pain, and it’s hard to stay mad at him, I’m so used to having him around and then to send him away to time out, hurts me more than you, no my “father” found joy in my pain. Speaking of pain I’ve also gotten into buying more books, should I be thinking about how much I failed this week, including reading and I don’t have to, if I knuckle down and get to work right now…

Yeah, the story of my life which leads me to the huge thing I don’t want to think about that starts with the letter D, no not that, and yeah Depression but “The Day” is coming up soon, the worse day of my life. Tell me Lady Luna what could be worse than that, DEATH ha when you think of the odds of any one human being and no I am not a man of faith but neither am I a man of science or anything. Yes, I know words, and that’s what my life should be, hell what my life is; not that they have brought me any such thing as I look over my keywords for twenty-four hours.

One more failure as I didn’t hide ‘the Day” from people deep enough and now I have to look forward to disappointment, disgust, Dad and plenty more D words except the one that’s driving me crazy. Didn’t do me any favors in high school and I had so many names that Willie was only one more, and here I am, one more day down, closer to “The Day” and my Lady Lu how I have wasted A Willing Twenty-four Hours.

I Will Have No Fear