Episode 207 ~C The Word Will~

Control, Command, Can Do attitude, the makings of a dominant am I right, though at the moment I’m a scared boy who wants a chocolate bar, some cookies, or plenty of milk… see, now how dirty was that? C The Word Will

Thursday, January 24, 2019

Episode 207 ~C The Word Will~


Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, when I’m not Willy Wonka, Will Smith, or Willow to be sure, nope I’m only Will, that is unless I have chocolate, I utter some dirty words like cunt or clit, and again I’m working on having the cash and that’s for pretty much everything.

Chocolate though; any woman that knows me has seen my preferences when it comes to women, amazingly breasted, brunettes, craving dominance in the BDSM lifestyle and then I look at yesterday’s picture. Three blondes, three with black hair and not one brunette, I read somewhere that the only constant is CHANGE and once upon a time I found myself quite smitten when it came to Asian women, and I could not begin to tell you when it became brunettes for me; give things a chance? I don’t even remember being much of a chocolate kid, taste BUDS, CHOICES or how to escape the DEVIL; I learned from the A.M.E Church.

Cunt is not as dirty a word to me as church, to be truthful, I’ve gotten more women with “naughty” words than with a word of beauty; take a look at Will Smith, I still owe him my life but I heard his rap style changed and lately I’m more a fan of Tupac. Not saying either one uses the word cunt or clit but I’ve called women, whores, and sluts and let’s not get into my novels, my courtesans…

Cash, because for damn sure I better Find A Way because Dennis Hof lived in a Candy store, and while I don’t think much of religion but the “fictional” Project at Eden’s Gate is something to see, I would never go so far to make my bread, candy, or dick hard (thank you Faith Seed). I was watching the prosperity gospel at work, and I wish that were the worst thing I did all day and yes I know I’m ruining sexy time, but I needed it last night because I keep thinking I’m going to get canned, dismissed, excused, so yeah fired. Most of my dreams predict this, and though things get bad at work I somehow get by, but maybe that’s what that dream meant, that I need to change paths. Stop eating the chocolate first snickers because the Strawberry is the best, or merely saying I can’t love a black woman besides my momma because you know I’ll Always Love My Mama.

You know I’ve always believed in the B’s and yes B III but also Babes, Biology, and Bullion, with those you control the world, but cunts, cash, and chocolate, well that commands a particular sect of humanity, so stop saying I can’t and say I Can, I AM Will and so, C The Word Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 074 ~The Turncoat Has Will~

From “The Day” to this past week, living all alone in America as a black man, okay sure I have my son but finding a good woman… okay, today is never about finding a good one, but sweet maybe, and so I’ve had to look elsewhere. “The Turncoat Has Will”

Thursday, September 13, 2018

Episode 074 ~The Turncoat Has Will~


Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason to feel bad about it, as the song goes; we’re all the same color when we turn out the light, the thing is we’re all looking for that brightness be it a video camera, to be better than who we are or dare I call it love.

“White women don’t bring nothing but trouble.”

“That ain’t white women, but women.”

“That’s your women.” Save the Last Dance

Now before I get zealous, erudite, or racial let’s talk about Colors… of clothes that is because my battle standard is usually black and red, I’ll let Wiz Khalifa do Black And Yellow, though if we were talking a girl in a little black dress or yellow sundress… I’ve found that I like bright colors on women just as you’ll usually see me in black, anything to mix with darkness which seems to be the underlying theme, black and white, salt and pepper and take for example women like Zoe Kravitz and Alicia Keys. To quote another song, I got sunshine, on a cloudy day; now I could go on and on about how I want a woman to dress, but that’s a long story; only a woman that matches me in black, a thought.

How about the whole blonde vs. brunette, I told “Okay” that brunettes always get me going but why; even more so if a woman can go back and forth, for example, this MILF I know or Andrea Logan White. How about Jennifer Lawrence but don’t get me wrong I have a thing for all kinds of hairstyles and colors from redheads to black hair so it must be something else. Still brunettes I mean damn.

Speaking of that or more Damnation as most people will think I’m wrong for this because this past week I’ve been fighting with black men but when it comes to black women I know two good ones, my mom and “Indiana Gone.” When I was young, I had maybe a “fetish” for Asian women, somewhat now, but I wouldn’t call it that anymore but I could see myself falling for such a woman. My idea though of being with a white woman, if anything it is only experience, the idea of repeating the same thing and expecting a different result, and when it comes to black vs. white though I am reluctant to use this word I find umm happiness.

Dressing is one thing, hair color, okay, but it has nothing to do with skin, black people have made it abundantly clear I’m not black enough, worthy of anything, one of them so yeah say You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’ while wanting to fuck anyone else well yeah it’s a decision, The Turncoat Has Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 166 ~How Stars Are Born~

In a galaxy far, far away, or just a mind as dirty, as depraved, and as perverted as my own, or maybe I just really need to pop and if won’t be sex, give me some laser fire and lightsabers any day. How Stars Are Born, if I had one wish

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Lesson 166 ~How Stars Are Born~


Come In Dirty Diana,
No Fear, hopefully not tonight, though to be honest I do intend to be a Star Wars father someday, but first I got to find the right girl, and if I lived in a galaxy far, far away that would take even more time than now. Speaking of which do you think George Lucas and whoever is writing/directing Star Wars currently might have a thing for brunettes or girls with dark hair, that would explain my fetish to a degree somewhat.

There is no way I can tell you I never had a thing for Princess Leia and her slave bikini and as you can see, well I always wanted to fuck Natalie Portman, strangely I’ve seen her sexier, but this works well. My first fantasy this evening, of course, would be to see Princess Leia taken by Jabba the Hutt and any number of his creatures, monsters, and tentacles are still write up there. Can’t say I’ve thought much of incest porn but Leia and Luke or better Leia double teamed with the team of Luke and Han, probably a gangbang of other heroes in the rebellion or Emperor Palpatine.

If you want to know my ultimate fantasy I have three more names for you, Padmé Amidala, Rey, Jyn Erso along with Princess Leia. It sounds like I want to open my space brothel and hell one man did Dennis Hof and the Alien Cathouse, that is indeed a place I have to visit one day. I’m not limited to the beauties of Star Wars but that’s one of the reasons I’m coming to you a day early or not, I have to get my rocks off somewhere you know.

Whatever would I do if I could have my way with the beauties above, yet another reason to be a Sith, a man of the Empire, the First Order, talk about the sort of power you would have in chains at your disposal. There are far too many scenarios in my head from mother-daughter to Jyn in prison, making love to Rey in the desert sands, sounds hot in more ways than one, hell awaits.

The hentai “Helter Skelter” set in the Star Wars universe, I don’t know how I’m going to get any sleep tonight just picturing that this is How Stars Are Born?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 096 ~Is It Time Yet~

There is never a right time or enough time is there Luna, or maybe I’m just ashamed but it could be worse, I could be a liar. Is It Time Yet, maybe you should ask me tomorrow but really what about today, maybe I’ll take in another movie hmm

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Lesson 096 ~Is It Time Yet~

Hey Lady Lu
No Fear but isn’t that the question nowadays, my life must truly be boring that I’m thinking about something I heard from Fox News, wouldn’t you agree?

When will we ever talk about my fixation on brunettes or for the wrong women in general, fourth grade it was a Muslim girl, sixth grade it was a blonde in remission that I’ll admit I was actually cruel to, seventh to ninth grade I stopped looking at black women for the most part, and senior year to now it has been mostly brunettes. I could probably write a whole book on why that is but as for today’s lesson, I don’t think it’s time yet but I put it out there didn’t I. Hell I’m still thinking about what this blog is going to turn into one of these days, now there’s something we should be talking about, money.

Fox News doesn’t want to talk about whit people either, though I work for a black manager and didn’t get paid this week, didn’t work last week but that’s beside the point, isn’t it? Maybe “Marshall” will give them something to talk about but I already did my review and while you know I’m one for reiteration but do I really want to repeat my review of a good choice.

“Hell is REPETITION.” Andre Linoge

No that would actually make too much sense now wouldn’t it Lady Lu, repeating the good and not dwelling on the bad, that’s one more girl for the virtual brothel “Echo, Justice, Luna, a Sophia…” that makes four but should I be encouraging my craziness, on one hand I have plenty of stuff that needs burying, and on the other with my book, I’m airing things out, cleaning out my closet. Doesn’t that just bring me back to money, I was telling “Indiana Gone” about my clothing choices or lack thereof but that is nothing to talk about until you find a hole in your shoe… what so I’m Scrooge.

Better call me a pimp while I have you here I suppose I should write down your role with the others so I don’t forget.

The Voices
Luna = Therapy
Justice = Rules
Echo = Past Sins
Sophia = Stories

So what have we learned besides the fact that I’m going crazier, do I have time to go there Luna, seriously Is It Time Yet?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 040 ~Do Better Next Time~

Tell me you’ll do better next time and I’ll believe you, almost makes me crack up and I believe you or I believe in you is a story for another time. Do Better Next Time, if such a time does come?

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Lesson 040 ~Do Better Next Time~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, I’ll do better next time, you know one of these days I’m going to make a list of the words and phrases I hate the most in the English language but today it’s these four simple words. You know you only get one chance at a first impression and today I think I blew one, okay two, probably a few more I wasn’t that observant.

“I’ll do better next time.


I’ll do better next time.


I’ll do better next time.



Did you really want me to snap your neck?” Hanna (2011)

I’m still thinking with that old world mentality that I’m not sure I’ll even see tomorrow so why bother doing my best, even when it comes to you Lady Lu, when will I see you again or I’ll do better next time. Ironically isn’t that why I should try my best because it’s with this I’ll be remembered; give me a reason to stay here, with all my work I don’t want my parents getting rich off me at some point. Another reason not to mince words and say whatever I feel… yeah, I’m afraid.

Maybe I’m just an idiot you know, I mean however are you supposed to introduce yourself to someone when you don’t really know yourself. That’s no secret, it’s just I like to think I know parts of myself, the gross parts according to some, yet another reason I hate looking in the mirror, hell I didn’t know who I would meet today. Isn’t everybody in the same boat when that comes to me, you know better than anyone my friend.

Isn’t that what I’m always talking about, evolving and like any mutant this is not always welcome and it can be a far within as easily as a fight without but once you make that first impression… Well I think everything else comes off as an impersonation but then again at least I’m honest, a bad type of honest sadly.
“And I doubt you’ve ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you… I don’t see an intelligent, confident man… I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you’re a genius, Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you.” Good Will Hunting

Speaking of honesty do you know how many times I have rehearsed my tirade for my coworkers only to say nothing at all when the time comes. Hell in a way it’s good to know I’m not alone in this, I’ll do better next time when it comes to working.

At the rate things are going at work I will have plenty of opportunities to have a first impression and I will have some people so confused; I’m not much of a trainer in the day job aspect. Going back to the dirty I could tell you exactly what I want who I am but even role play might be a symptom of something, maybe, you think? With the first impressions maybe I should go wreck a few more across the board, it might help me get over the last impression I gave Ms. Seasons.

You should have seen me this morning Luna, I should have seen myself but I felt that overwhelming dread, just like when there was all that trouble with “Senseless” for days on end I was just stomping hard as if I could crush the memory, caveman. I wonder what sort of impression I give off to animals, these days I’m so scared as to how Braxton sees me. Here’s a start, I see myself as his father, no ifs, and, or buts, only if I am anything like my father I’m pretty screwed; these final impressions can be pretty bad.

Not that Braxton is going anywhere of course except to the groomers, I still wonder how the people at PetSmart see me, I mean no one wants to be looked at as the negligent parent. With how many ticks they have pulled off of him, what do I think about, I’ll do better next time but sometimes we don’t have the luxury of a next time, do it right first.

“Your “best”! Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.” John Mason, The Rock

How about we forget about meeting people and just think about the general everyday interaction, for example, this guy I saw who helped these women in Walmart. What about how hard it is to remember all these things I’ve been trying to teach myself and put them together into something that passes for a human.

I’m not so upset about the store because of those women, I saw were of no interest to me but I do like to think of myself as a gentleman, look at that, dog dad, gentleman, things that nobody gets from me the first time around. Anyway so this guy, old guy helps these women with a big carton of water, I just had to admit that the man has class, or maybe I’m digging too deep into this. Who knows if they’ll ever meet again but the fact is, how do you think they saw this guy if I was so impressed with him?

To this day I can tell you about the first brunette that ever got to me and after her, well there has never been any other type of girl for me. Was it simply the look of her, her kindness, her voice, her eyes, I mean everything and nothing, so you don’t have to ask me why it hurt so much, by comparison, Ms. Seasons was… anyway, this first brunette back in junior college nearly got me kicked out of school. The more things change, and our final impressions of each other, what she thought of me, I honestly don’t want to remember because it will be so much worse.

So what have we learned today, repeating history, first impressions are everything and confusing to those around us but even worse when there is a battle within. Lady Lu, to be fair today was a bit easier but I’m not where I need to be, I’ll Do Better Next Time.

I Will Have No Fear