Tag: Writing

Episode 276 ~Will Up’s His Game~

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Too much helping myself but also too much self-help between, Spotify, Addiction beating apps, and books about the law of attraction, life is a game and keeping up the positivity I’m winning, I am, I AM. Will Up’s His Game more and more

Wednesday, April 3, 2019

Episode 276 ~Will Up’s His Game~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become a life coach, a motivational speaker. Hell, why don’t I go all out and do what that lady says and become a preacher? I’ll have a YouTube channel like Tyrese Gibson. There is plenty of help just waiting out there.

If anything I’m finding that positive vibes can be as exhausting as the negative. So that’s why I don’t do self-help too often. Only isn’t that what this is, and my first sin today. Well beyond repeating myself is looking to God. You’ve heard this story before; I hate how my “OLDS” look at religion. Now I “worked” in a Christian bookstore for a bit. I mean I was heavy into it. I signed paperwork; I named characters for God. I read all I could. Nowadays I can’t stand the concept. Still, that isn’t to say I don’t take to heart a lesson here or there. A few spoken from Tupac Shakur. Another and another from Father Gabriel, The Walking Dead, The Battle For Alexandria.

When I couldn’t find God’s love and don’t get me started on his people, I wondered why no one ever loved me. Once again I turned to books about how to find love, making someone fall in love with you. There’s loving yourself only to the point that others could. Of course, this led me back into my poetry phase. I sound like a broken recording here, but it worked; for other guys. Lawmen are getting laid right now because of my work. It was like that time I did LSD and wrote nonstop about the “Winx Club.” In retrospect, it was somebody with a love of money. Even now I’m listening to a few motivations about that same thing. It keeps me way high.

Now that’s something else that all my motivations seem to have in common. You must become addicted, obsessed with self-improvement, with growth. Women talk a lot about not being good enough. Men can feel the same. Just now I read “We’re not porn addicts, we’re porn addicts in recovery.” Yes, thank you Miss Jessica Nigri and her Hermione Granger Cosplay. So yeah when it comes to my next sin besides not lasting a day of No Fap. You should have seen me on the first; I’m back on Brainbuddy. Now on a subscription basis, Patreon as well. No porn but a naked redhead am I right? Still reading The Secret and then I have to start back with my erotica reading group. You have to throw what you want out into the universe. At the day job, it’s always a million dollars Inspector. At the store, it’s a pretty girl.

It’s so hard staying up Inspector Echo I swear. Some things I have accomplished. I did three thousand words last night, five thousand the day before. I’m ahead in Camp NaNoWriMo so far. I even stood up to my General Manager. As for forgiveness, I’m still seeking help without, instead of looking within myself. I know I’m stronger than this, or I should be. So yes Will Up’s His Game.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 269 ~Was Will Calm Before~

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Calm or depression, I feel like I’m sinking and for some reason, I can’t remember how I kept my head above this muck, blood, sweat, and tears, or so THEY say; I hate the water, and that’s what keeps me kicking, did I sail once. “Was Will Calm Before”

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Episode 269 ~Was Will Calm Before~

Forgive Me Echo,

How To Make One Million Dollars, I could start by cutting off Spotify, Patreon, Amazon Prime. However, strangely enough, I didn’t get into those things at the behest of anybody. Okay, so lovely boobs but let me continue. It was only last week I said I get into these things because of women. Now don’t get me started on obsession but when I get into something, writing still isn’t direct among them. I go full throttle, Nonstop.

When I was back in school, I fell into the Pokémon craze, who was I before? Now, who does my family prefer? The boy they made feel so worthless that he wasted hundreds on webcams? The one that’s so full of hate that he doesn’t speak to them. The one that spent more on Pokémon games, Gameboy, toys, more. Humiliations galore, having to walk back into that mall and return all that stuff. Now that was nothing compared to the Harmonic War, The Fall, The End Of The Rainbow, and dare I forget SWEETNESS. Girls are fucking Medusa (LANGUAGE). How about when I got into Alycia Debnam-Carey. In one of them, she was standing next to Alexa Nisenson. Then Almighty Pinterest sent some ominous warning. Days later I hear from my mom the police are in the area. I worry about everything there’s no doubt.

Fear, Worry, Guilt, but today is about obsession. Now I don’t even want to think about the Day Job. All the humiliations I have possibly endured inside my mind. Because today is Monday and I have to attempt to get out of a shift. Dammit (LANGUAGE) I don’t want to obsess about the Day Job. Only The Walking Dead 9×15 The Calm Before; you know how I’m addicted to The Lore of the Dead. Sunday I was researching any known gods of Flesh and The Carnival of Flesh from The Purge. Anyway and I’m not ashamed to admit this and why should I be. I ranted, raved, and raged, and shed a few tears for all those characters that died last night. Hell, I should become a reactor yeah, though it’s far too late or I’m pretty lazy, I know?

I take that show as gospel. It takes so much to disturb me, well media-wise. Undead heads on pikes have made my list. I even woke up “Indiana Gone” as I grieved. She knows of my obsession with the dead. Only like any drug, this was a bad trip. Inspector Echo, I apologize that I become obsessed with anything that I know doesn’t make me a loser. I ask forgiveness from five women; so far. It scares me Pinterest can think I’m depraved. I’m sorry for laziness and having my nightmares, Was Will Calm Before?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 262 ~Side Order Of Will~

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I feel like chicken tonight, or is that all I have in the fridge, I saw Chinese zodiac symbols once and maybe I would prefer to stay a rat, I always feel like a pest, but no my name is still on somebody’s tongue. “Side Order Of Will,” no thanks.

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Episode 262 ~Side Order Of Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, go hungry or more to the point of staying hungry. I’m still looking into the future, today’s the 15th, and I’m gearing up for Camp NaNoWriMo. Now, how embarrassing would it be if I didn’t accomplish this? Humiliating that I have all these ideas but nothing to write Inspector. So I’ll get the usual which is PORN. I would say Erotica, but I don’t want to lie or worse what if I take too long deciding. What if I can’t see anything, and you know my thoughts on right and wrong.

My mom taught me to never go to the grocery store on an empty stomach. She also taught me how to make tartar sauce, how to microwave cooked shrimp. Mom also introduced me to the Subway Buffalo Chicken. Funny I mention chicken because that’s my sin. The biggest one, this FEAR, COWARDICE, my transforming into a feathery fiend. One who sits down in a Chinese restaurant, afraid to speak up. Also, the gas station where some other guy makes the attendant notice me. Some people might find it gratifying when they visit “their” bar. Then are immediately recognized. Only then you go into Walmart, and the lady knows you’re there merely for the ranch wings?

I’m a creature of habit, routine, TRADITION. Only every day more like everything in my life, there is some girl I followed, and I can’t break free. The Red Lantern, that was Indiana Gone, Subway again was my mom. McDonald’s because I thought the girl liked me. How about Cherry who talks to me about “stalking?” I never have, but I never half-ass anything but my work sadly. If I know enough, then I can’t fail and if I ask; Twitter is still pending? Blocked on Facebook, knocked off Instagram I keep my mouth shut. Chicken’s aren’t meant to fly, and somebody will get pissed at me for saying this. Still those birds are on the list for a “feast,” and it’s eating me alive.

I’m sick of holding walls up, of waiting. I’m living that idiom of “you are what you eat,” or maybe having a cow man. I’m sure this week in the future I have, and I’ll be living the same way, won’t I?

For all of this I ask forgiveness, but again that’s tradition because it is something I’m not changing isn’t it. Like all those times I went without eating because I refused to live this way. Inspector Echo I’d starve before begging any day a Side Order Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Sell My Soul To Who

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If my soul were still worth anything, I would sell it to the devil, but for now, all I want is a job application from Brandon Grant or the paperwork to make his kind of deals and the money or how about Jade West’s next book? Sell My Soul To Who?

Sell My Soul To Who

Isn’t it funny that people are supposed to give their souls to this deity or that one? Whereas it’s only the evil ones that want to make a “decent” deal. Not that this story is evil, sexy, salacious, some would say this is my dream? An excellent beginning to a series that is on my must-read lists. Five stars without a doubt and I wish there were more. Didn’t I say series and if Jade West keeps this up, wow.

How dare I say the setup for the story is somewhat familiar. It’s what I imagine happens, in reality, all the time. Indeed being a guy, I can tell you of a couple of pornos, that start with the pretty girl needing something. Always a man willing to oblige. Except that’s only for a day or career. Right off the bat though “Sell My Soul” by Jade West demands sixty days though it won’t take that long to finish this story. However trust, I read this in less than a week. Now this review, yeah, I’m not giving anything away here. Sixty days to make all your financial troubles disappear. Moreover, according to Paige Emmerson, that’s more than worth it, for the love of sisters.

As fast as I fell for Paige, Brandon is the man I want to be. Talk about the eye, the expertise, the excellence in his character. If you made the story about him running his successful business, I would have still read it. Sell My Soul reminded me a tiny bit of The Art of the Pimp. Only this is fiction, but as I said, I believe this does happen to a certain extent. Although you don’t have to feel bad about it, reading this novel; you don’t feel anything. Well turned on, twisted, and thankful that you found this story between Paige and Brandon. Wow, this lifestyle, that leaves you wanting so much more. I too was one of those made panting and salivating.

No, you didn’t think I was going to compare myself to Paige? How I want a woman like her or more. To have the ability to make deals like that. I could have liked the business model more than the story. It’s not an original concept to be sure, but the author makes it theirs in this tale. I imagine like so many of the female characters in this novel one question. How many women right now are saying that they would never do something like Paige’s deal. Only then, there’s the big price tag.

Of course, you’re not here for my philosophy on the subject. You’re here to find out why I love Paige so much. Because of how Brandon felt for her, not Rebecca Lane, his new toy. Not the cast of mean girls which there were some, could measure up to Paige. Brandon himself, what do you call it when a man gushes over another? All I can say is that he’s the man and I can’t imagine having such swagger. He’s who I aspire to become.

Paige Rowan Emmerson, now if any fellas are reading this, I have two words for you “Reality Kings.” The end, pretty much the whole story. Ladies will you stop me if you’ve heard this one. Pretty college girl, family issues, needs money and sells herself off. Novel sounds like the usual fanfare correct? I suppose the author wanted you to find some investment in Paige. Why wouldn’t I be into, a brunette, innocent, with dirty leanings, that’s my type. Other than that she is an incredibly strong character and Paige has you wanting to root for her. I mean right down to the ending I was ready to get the next book, what can I say a guy has been busy, but this story stays.

Much like Brandon Grant, while I’m somewhat used to the alpha male motif in this genre. There are less than one handful of men I’ve wanted to emulate, and Brandon again is living the dream. A businessman who creates porn. Pimps girls, and punches out drunks and druggies. Men daring to mess with his property, and other than his brother, there is no mention of some criminal empire. What is it with women and the whole kingpin dynamic I ask myself sometimes. He also has that I don’t believe in love mentality. Yes, I’m a stalker, plus I have a ton of money. While the payoff drives him and Paige together, there’s so much more.

Like so many of the characters in this book like Paige’s sister, Phoebe May. The most current plaything. I did not forget Rebecca Lane who is but one more example of what Brandon can do to someone. Some characters only get a page or two. You never feel like you’re missing out. Not on motivations, their lives, and those they choose to associate with on the daily. Your heart will break for Paige at times.

As for breaking I could give Sell My Soul a few more stars. However, the five on Goodreads will have to do. I felt this story so much. So if you don’t want any spoilers, you can stop right here and go and buy yourself a copy. Can I not say anything negative about this book? It will be HARD which is how I felt during a few of the scenes. Just let me attempt to control myself right here.

The beach scene between Brandon and Paige and then the guys that she also met there. I don’t think you will see stuff like that on the show “What Would You Do.” Still, I’m somewhat surprised some adult entertainment company hasn’t run with it. Nearly every moment between Brandon and Paige was awesome. Usually, with stories like this, there will be a bit of blah. The author is waiting to take it to the next level in the next book; I was riding on the edge of my chair with this title. Rebecca Lane is caught running her mouth about her experiences to an innocent Paige. After everything that happened, we see how she has become. A true submissive to Brandon’s overwhelming sexual mystique somehow.

Characters flushed out as they were a smidge more backstory and build up. Number one because I was intrigued. The second because like most of these stories, why this knows basis in reality, again I question. Do women think like this and dare dream guys don’t like it? Brandon for all his bravado did for a moment have to rely on family ties. He sounded like the self-entitled rich boy. While it was true, it again fell into the realm of money. Can do anything still right; yeah? What was I complaining about now? The ending wasn’t so much a problem as the idea that I wanted more right away. I guess that’s more my fault but I know I’m getting the series without question.

For my first read from Jade West, I am all in, Sell My Soul is terrific work. It was right on my level which should be somewhat of a scary thing I suppose. Certain books will do that to you. I can compare the overall, concept of the title. The author made this story and that entire premise belong to her alone. Nevertheless, I have answered my question as far as book two and three, Sell My Soul To Who.

An Ending To The “Depredation” Book Review

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Such a long time, but I do need to bring a finale to my affairs and sadly this novel Natalie Bennett’s title didn’t have that, but it was pretty good if you ask me, wait you didn’t right, but yes the end has come. “An Ending To The Depredation.”

An Ending To The Depredation

There should have been, but I will get to that. For now, I will start at the beginning. As a matter of personal taste, I’m not a fan of Depredation title-wise. Still this story written by Natalie Bennett is solid. Nothing to write home about, not that Harper Lane would see much of that in this title. Neither at the beginning or the ending. I can’t stress the finish enough. Being a writer myself and all it can be stressful. However, Depredation or as a matter a fact most books in the erotica genre never do that. So yeah I will shut up now about women, and they’re everyday lives.

Well except Harper’s and that’s what we’re here for right? The girl getting kidnapped by the big bad and the aftermath. Which is pretty different than most and it’s not as if I’m giving anything away. Other than all the gory details of this sweet victimized pinup, yeah I said that. I’m a guy. The types of guys that read these stories and what; get turned on. Not as much by this as others, for example, Whispers In The Dark. Anyway, that was done over a more extended period and had the semi-traditional ending. I must applaud the author for keeping the focus on Jayce and Harper. Even more so the prison where Harper found herself. That’s a bit of originality. The victim is held in one area and not always moving in some way.

Now there is hope, only as I said before it becomes pretty different than in most stories. Still not giving anything away. But how to make a Monster 101. Furthermore, I wish there were a little more on Jayce as far as his madness. I imagine though a taste of Harper’s horror. It’s not the thing they put up when missing girls somehow make it back. Natalie Bennett did a superb job of touching that world. Parts of Harper’s life for two years, and then some more. Still makes me sad, the “then some.” I was looking forward to that payoff and payback, and well, that’s why we’re at four stars instead of five now.

On the flip side, what do I know? We’re going to see won’t we if you continue reading, but I’m not Depredation. The book held me from start to tripping over the finish line. Although to be fair I am inspired to give the author another chance. What can I say I’m a lot more merciful than our two main characters in this tale. Though you would never expect this from them, perhaps it’s strange. I wish Harper made it hurt more. Or at least we should get to read about it some, another chapter?

Harper Roseanne Lane didn’t stand out to me. Other than her type but she’s not the heroine. She’s not the vengeful angel but more. The everyday girl, and that’s the thing. That there was nothing spectacular about her, plain jane.

However, the way that she’s brought to life by the author through the eyes of her kidnapper. Not surprising that she’s unique. How I didn’t see it but when it came to the pain? The gore made Harper so much more visceral. The beginning and then the aftermath of her captivity was like night and day. Still, I keep going back to the fact that I wish there were more. Instead of the rush to put it to bed. Leaving me with a feeling of “what.” Not a cliffhanger but more of “that’s it.” You could write a whole other book or at least a novella about how she took her vengeance. Yes, it gets bloody somewhat near the end.

If you want fear though? Is it scary that I enjoy seeing through the eyes of the villain? I have a plethora of reasons for that. Here’s Jayce Charles Haywood, the clear-minded, I have a regular life. However incredible darkness sort of individual. I could only relate to his choice of Harper as I like the same look. How many women have I sent heading for the hills so far? Which is why I can see why this genre is female dominated. Anyway, Jayce was fleshed out more than his victim somewhat. So I can say I didn’t like him, but we shouldn’t I mean of course. Only and I can’t stress this enough. As “painful” as it was at times, it’s an excellent read.

There was a tidbit about other characters. Nevertheless, the standout would have to be Jayce’s wife Minnie which I find original. I can’t say I have read much in terms of the villains that have spouses. Well, the main characters anyway. While she wasn’t a willing participant, she still acted as a partner. Yes, pretty wifey was an accomplice to Jayce’s perversions. To a certain degree which was quite deplorable. That was a breath of fresh air; for a while. I don’t want to spoil the novel any more than I have now. I think it would have changed things up if she spoke a chapter in the tale. Minnie had an integral role and also gave me an idea for a story of mine.

As always I considered five stars for Natalie Bennett’s “Depredation,” but it wasn’t quite there. Rest assured that four is worth it and I’m about to go into spoiler mode. So if you want to stop here, that would be wise. Also if you are one for the positive but this is only me ranting about what went wrong. Know that I have no right to judge, but I have a few things on my mind. My brain sigh is a scary place I know.

The mental aspect was remarkable from the beginning. Showing what it could be like for someone like Harper that suffered the way she did. I would make a pretty lousy therapist. Because of what those stories do to me at times. The idea that you don’t get it all with Harper. Albeit with some of the most critical moments in her captivity. Your body begins to react to the pain she is going through. In every effort to somehow make someway for herself. Before the ending where the story trips up with Jayce. We get a nice bit of gore with Minnie and Harper’s wrath. Along with everything that she went through suffering so much.

The end though, right there. Time to break out the party favors and let’s see how far she’s going to take this. To become nothing; an excellent beginning and then a no thank you. As if the reader can’t handle what’s about to go down. Is it not the same for women I wonder? All the sexual depravity on the woman no doubt but now it’s the man’s turn. Is that a turn-off or something? Could be me but I wanted Jayce to pay. I suppose I could do with more story all the way around. I want to like Harper more. Somehow while again keeping everything practically in that room for so long. If to see more of her outside of it or in her house of horrors for Jayce, former assailant now victim.

Oh and the title change. I can see why it was so, but between you and me I liked the old title better. Being honest and on that note Whispers In The Dark by LeTeisha Newton is a quite detailed version of this title.

I’m looking forward to reading even more titles from Natalie Bennett. How many are said to have connections with the one I finished? Which would be awesome and maybe I’ll find, An Ending To The Depredation.

Episode 244 ~Scared Will, Theories Told~

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I should keep my “Wisdom” to myself, but I didn’t break my hands, my throat though goes from itchy to Aww Hell and wouldn’t that be the best punishment for someone like me, to tell stories to no one ever. Scared Will, Theories Told

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Episode 244 ~Scared Will, Theories Told~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, as I dare to call myself a writer, an easy mistake to make, again and again. I could take being the one to find out how the world found its conclusion, all its shapes, and forms.

With everything on my mind recently, I had this theory at the Day Job about the Mark of The Beast. Now I am still not a religious man, but they say the mark will be seen in our right hands today. Yes, there are left-handed people but think about it, our phones. I wrote before about how “THEY” say people care for their phones more than their children. The flesh of our flesh and hell on B III’s Birthday I was a slave to mine, it knows everything. The mark will also find homes on our foreheads, worse, in our brains. How much does Spotify understand about me, how much social media, XVideos or PornHub?

Less these days I know, but another idea is that one life can change the world. I also believe in zombies, aliens and for the past week again I am Prometheus. Is it the heart today or my privates, for now, I’m not getting a “stiffy.” If I get a hard on somebody’s going Lorena Bobbitt on my behind, if I open up my heart, that’s a snack. So either way, I’m pushing a stone up a hill much like Sisyphus. My happiest decisions nowadays are me carrying the world on my shoulders like Atlas. I call a girl pretty, that’s a block. If I see a girl on Twitter, deleted, and if I decide to shrug off having any desire, I’m nothing at all.

What’s with Titanomachy and me, do I see such wisdom in the Greeks. Well the gods defeated the Titans, and again Christianity hasn’t done me any favors, so why did I leave; “WHY” I asked why. God says come as you are and you’ll be born again, but I don’t like that guy either. Why do I want the BDSM Lifestyle? Now that’s too big a subject; I wrote the most beautiful things for the worse men. So they could end up with “innocent” angels.

As you can see these days, women run away. Still to meet one that walks into a cage, chain, or collars willingly and doesn’t want to leave? My childhood, I wrote my name and asked my aunt what I wrote, and I’ve been asking women ever since permission. Like my seventh “birthday” when I said What The Hell instead of “What in tarhooties?!” Well ever since then I’ve traveled a “Fury Road” of people, yet I commit more sins every day unfailingly. Muttering “I’m Sorry” eternally Scared Will, Theories Told.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 237 ~Pen Hand Strong Will~

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I began in the midnight hour, and I’m only now rising, I was busy keeping my guts down, and if I had done so earlier well, I wouldn’t feel this way; “Looked Who Grossed Up” and that wasn’t even the worst night but now? Pen Hand Strong Will.

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Episode 237 ~Pen Hand Strong Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, at the moment, even if I had it, I would spend it all to make this feeling go away. Do you know why I always ask the question? Because my first impression, insinuation, and involvement is still the way wrong answer.

It doesn’t explain why I am talking to you so late tonight or early this morning. Other than the fact that I feel like I might vomit and like I said yesterday. That proves one has guts but who wants to see that. We’re not doctors, Walkers, and even knights wore armor. If that’s what thing I learned tonight, I’m no prince on a white horse. Lady Luna I’ve come to the understanding that I’m one of two things and neither would allow me to sleep. Option A being, I’m a monster, I scare people, I’ve said it myself time and time again. Option B I’m nothing, I’m no one, and that’s why there is no need to wish, whisper, or write because who sees. Well, she did and convicted me, she did and called me out, she did and canceled, she did cause I’m nothing.

It hasn’t tasted the same you know, an ICEE, I still drink them, but on one day I nearly killed a dog. He slammed into my car door, but the taste I miss from my drink. The same with IBC Root Beer when my “father” slapped me, and they say alcohol numbs the pain. What about sleep, I haven’t gotten to rest a night without blogging first, and you know what caused that. Lesson 001 Looked Who Grossed Up and here we are again Lady Luna. Now I’ll never be able to look at Pokemon. Think about that Crazy Town song Butterfly. Listen to Michael Jackson’s Butterflies without thinking of what happened tonight. I’m sure you’re asking what the hell, so I guess I’m ready.

I asked a woman out once; she said nothing. I asked her out again this month; she said nothing. She showed butterflies around her and her daughter I posted “Butterfree” on Instagram. I quoted Crazy Town Lyrics to Butterfly, and here we are. Blocked, no bye, and with the belief, I’m the worse creature to roam the planet Earth. No, a cretin, worthless and cowering afraid of losing everything. Now I want to erase it all because it’s easier to destroy myself than watch others leave me once again, been there. Why do you think I’m always on the brink, forever seeing the end but no I repeat the mistakes of the past. My how a year and a half passed August 6, 2017, and now February 22, 2019, in the same horrific situation. Damn Pen Hand Strong Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 230 ~Will Puddin, Published, Genius~

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Put your money where your mouth is, excellent advice considering my situation, and ten bucks; a salve for an itch I can’t scratch o maybe like a cat that’s what paper is for and even now a voice is yelling, stop that. Will Puddin, Published, Genius

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Episode 230 ~Will Puddin, Published, Genius~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, they keep staring me in the face. Her boobs, that boing in my pants, and books that remain unpublished and why. I’m not the good guy, the god-fearing man or a genius… aren’t I supposed to be positive after yesterday’s rant?

“All I wanted was to see her naked!” ―
Girl All The Bad Guys Want

https://www.patreon.com/Courtcarmody

Luna I have, don’t you know, not as much as I would like. I’m never going to let that go right; quite presidential, you start messing with people’s money, and it’s over. Court Carmody sigh compared to the MILF. The things men will do for boobs, because we are boobs and that ladies in gentlemen is the English language. Of course, that’s not as bad as my Math. Though $10.00 beats, um well; let it go, Elsa, am I right? So besides sex, money is on my mind, and again with the motivations. Don’t follow the money, but the purpose and I sit here having an inception moment. Remember all the people I blamed yesterday, and I told “Indiana Gone” today who I would most like to be? Larry Flynn, Hugh Hefner, Ron Jeremy, Dennis Hof, and another guy I’m better off not naming, again.

Okay, you get it a fat rich white guy that gets to have plenty of sex. These are men who have cash from young women getting nude being on camera, and working in cat-houses. That’s why I’m brainstorming or being lazy, your call. Anyway as I was having a conversation with Indiana Gone, I told her my dream. I have to get published, starting producing books like I’m S. Wolf, Skye Warren, and Larry Flynn combined. Until I can afford photographers, property, then head west. Everything Dennis Hof had, I want that lifestyle. No not the show but movies no doubt, a “love hotel” like they have in Japan, and with all this, I still want the love of family.

I’m not stupid, I’m staying positive, but I’m not a genius, I am a guy with a penis. Hell if I last the day, the first week of No Fap once again and I even finished Lolita. I was telling “Cherry” today who fashions herself a Lolita… she’s twenty-one, and I’ve never seen her boobs. Anyway, I was telling her that word here can lead to trouble. Since my whole bad teeth “realization” why is it that even my fingers are shutting up these days. Things I shouldn’t say like last night. I’m still thinking about my taste in women. They are either innocent virgins or women with bad sexual histories. Ironically I have seen all four of those women naked. Two I didn’t pay for but again how do I turn this into profit. I’ve offered both MILFS a deal, one though has her reasons and the other? I’m not shelling out that type of cash again. Because at least for now, or I would like to be, I’m only Will Puddin, Published, Genius.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 224 ~Don’t B Scared Will~

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Besides being scared for my son, I’m terrified of my sins, and several superfluous bouts of reading I swear, the day job made me hate football even more so, and Humbert, Humbert, reminds me why I failed French. Don’t B Scared Will

Sunday, February 10, 2019

Episode 224 ~Don’t B Scared Will~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, back-breaking, behavior changing, balls, that’s B III and yeah you’re still attempting to come up with your motto, something akin to the “Fever” series by Karen Marie Moning or like “The V Games” Ker Dukey, K Webster.

You “heart” your bed as the kids say, hate it, hell head there more than anywhere else even though it’s doing the most harm and how can you say that when you wake up most days and there’s Triple B standing at attention watching the door, being a weighted blanket, buying time for the boss. Yesterday I talked about him being the man I most respected and why not… sometimes you think he has it pretty easy, but you forget that when you believe you carry the world on your shoulders, that your little hero carries you. Maybe you give some crappy belly rubs, or he’s always working, now ain’t that the word, work when’s the last time you did that for you and not someone else and they still wanted to fire you but with results, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
    Failed
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
    Failed
  5. I Will Read “Lolita” Vladimir Nabokov
    Failed
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel
    Failed

Three days off so you have barely looked at the man in the mirror, in the chair, or honestly doing anything but with B III, he doesn’t want you to see him hurt. Nothing changes except how strong he must become, what should be worse bark or bite, are you his boy or father? Your Motivations talk about how to defeat fear, and it’s something to the tune of, find something even scarier, Triple B gets a nail stuck in his collar, so you go to the groomers, villains have to be smart to escape capture and Rule 145 Differentiate Between Sense and Censor. Rage, Rutting, and Rapture, any of these things are better to change you than so much fear, and if not now, then when, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
  5. I Will Read “Lolita” Vladimir Nabokov
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel

Balls of all kinds and it’s something when your son loses his (not literally, I’m not a monster) anyway when he’s not brave somehow you have to step up, nails, neighborhood pets, nothing but people in this world his safety is first. As for now, he’s taking a break, sleeping on his pillow, while daddy works, his bandanna/cape still on because he’s still such the hero, the huggable one, a handsome hunk as it reads. Heroes save us for many reasons, and I told you what I would say to him yesterday but since you never listen to me if B III could talk, he’d either quote Scarface or tell you Don’t B Scared Will.

Go ahead stupid nigga
Go fuck with them chicks
I’m the third little piggy
Imma fuck with them bricks –

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 223 ~Stand At Attention Will~

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Honestly, I did not think I was going here today, more like little head instead of the big head, but what about a furry one, I should go to “PetSmart” more on Sundays no doubt, but I have my son, and I stand by him. Stand At Attention Will.

Saturday, February 9, 2019

Episode 223 ~Stand At Attention Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become the Secretary of Defense; believe it or not, there was a time in my life Lady Lu that I said those words out loud, I also wanted to be a war correspondent and as you recall I did a brief stint in the Navy. The words are Military Bearing; do you know why I tend to make all these “personalities” female save for one; I don’t think in my life there has been one man in my environment that I have honestly respected, on a personal level I will say.

Today I was at PetSmart picking up B III’s meds, and they had an adoption thing, and I saw the cutest little dog; this furbaby was a few inches taller than my son. Oh to let dear Trible B have a few years taken back on him, return to puppy form I’d give him a sibling. My father never taught me about how to be a man, he threatened to kill me before going into the military, I thought maybe they would educate me, but I left, one uncle cheated on his wife, another married in and murdered my mom’s sister. Never met my great grandfather’s, paternal granddad wasn’t there, maternal grandfather got divorced, another uncle shot and can’t stand, one more not indeed an uncle, don’t know him, or my older half-brother, “father” beat my mother too you know.

Okay so back to B III and as I stood there, a bag full of over a hundred pills, over three months that I wouldn’t hesitate to buy again and I saw this other dog that needs a home, a family and if my little one wasn’t so old, ornery, and obstinate… Anyway so I’m driving, and I’m listening to my motivations, talking about not letting the past control you and I think of how I am and my son and our future, and there it is his obituary coming to mind. Everything I want to say to him, that it has been my honor and privilege to be his father, that if I have a chance in Hell of getting to Heaven, it will be but a word from him, and that I’m sorry I failed him. No mother, no two-legged siblings to protect, I didn’t give him the home that he ever deserved.

I’ve said before I owe Will Smith my life and as far as my “father” a man must look after his family but it was my little boy, who is a greater man than I could have possibly hoped to raise, who taught me about love, life, even lungs as I watch him breathe and I can. I love him like pancakes I always say because I couldn’t love him more if I poured the “Bisquick” and we have walked together, fought, lived and if there is any man I honestly do respect and would follow it’s my son, pathetic huh but not father, flag, or female has gotten so much; Stand At Attention Will.

I Will Have No Fear