Author: Will

Log 180 ~Less Than Willing, Weak~

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Am I willing, well that’s my name, “Will,” Willie, sometimes I don’t know considering it took an email to HR to stop the calls of Mr. Willie and that was when I was lucky, but I’m lazy? Less Than Willing, Weak.

Saturday, December 28, 2019

Log 180 ~Less Than Willing, Weak~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now, and for most, comfort makes for weak men. How do THEY say, Fake It To You Make It? All I know is comfort when I’m not at the Day Job or anywhere outside. Even getting nearly eight hours isn’t helping. Why not eight, My Dæmon decided not to walk to the bathroom. Oh, and I’m an addict, not a doubt in my mind anymore. Of course, you know to what and when’s the last time I’ve gone a week. My motivations would ask what it’s going to take to change ever.

The year of Will, when I’ve already lost three months, last September. While I’m on the subject of the past, what about the movie Kickboxer 4: The Aggressor, SIGH. Am I starting to show my age, Lady Luna? Where was my “father” at my age? I bet it wasn’t in bed watching YouTube videos on Far Cry 5. I’m willing to do whatever needs demand to advance in the game but not in my life? My Dæmon looked at me as though I wasn’t ready to do anything. Like Father Like Son, he didn’t want his morning vitamin, treat, or any meds. I’m not suicidal, but every day this house becomes more like a coffin. If anything, though, I prefer it to the fires or the freezing that is my Day Job. Then again, what have I done this week to avoid going back other than stay a day ahead blogging? I continue to search on PCH like one day, yeah, here’s one million dollars.

Do I have anything to tout about this week? A couple of days not dying on Far Cry 5, but one day I didn’t play a full hour. The next, I had to replay the Exodus mission to save ALL the hostages. What can I say, I don’t like to lose? Sitting here in bed, growing a beard, eating cupcakes for breakfast. Yeah, so locked up in my addiction, I couldn’t bring myself to go downstairs and make pancakes or anything. I would say I’m going to be nothing but positive in the new year, but I’m not a liar. I’m lazy, lonely, a loser, but no, I won’t lie. You’re telling me to stop it and believe me; I understand that I must. Next week, new year and decade.

Why wait, I should get up; Less Than Willing, Weak?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 179 ~Will’s Books Aren’t Fair~

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I could finish reading one more book, reviewing one perhaps, I could even revise one if I didn’t stay in bed all-day or if I went to bed at a decent hour; before 1:30 in the morning. I should treat every day like a Book Fair. Will’s Books Aren’t Fair

Friday, December 27, 2019

Log 179 ~Will’s Books Aren’t Fair~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now; I tell you it’s like Book Fair Week every day. Am I upset I didn’t get anything for Christmas? Okay, when I was a kid, I didn’t have any money for the Book Fair. I bawled, but somebody bought me a book on baseball. Now while I loathe baseball, I did gain a passion for reading and maybe sex. My point is that it was one more reason I wanted to write books. Well, also recognizing my name to be sure.

So today isn’t Friday as you noticed, I’m still staying a day ahead. I wrote on Christmas Day because, honestly, what else was there to do all day? I’m time-traveling again as it were, trying to, I don’t know, change my future. I didn’t start SIGH today. I meant to do so much work on GULP. Again I had a hardy breakfast. Judging by the weight of My Dæmon, he’s reaping the benefits. Something more to be grateful for, I know. What about on Christmas Day I played Far Cry 5, and I did not shoot the deputy or let anyone else kill him. In all fairness, I didn’t play for a full hour either, NXT was on, and I fell asleep during that sadly. Some stories are more equal than others. I want my tales to be at the top of the heap. When somebody asks me what my book is about, Willie, Warfare, and Women, though order changes.

It’s not fair that I didn’t get to work on my story today. I would indeed dream of myself successful. Instead of doing anything about its creation. Lady Sophia, I did dream about that movie Harlem Nights and even that club in Life, “Ray’s Boom, Boom Room.” You know I wouldn’t get caught dead in a tux, so what could the dream mean? I want to have a level of success like Eddie Murphy, no doubt. A tux is black and white, and I’m a writer, so enough said. No, I won’t go all Sigmund Freud on this because today, see now it’s Thursday, but I posted already. Friday is about writing, but it’s still Thursday at this moment. I promise you my books aren’t so complicated. Somebody always ends up running a brothel, and everything will go, BOOM, BOOM.

Bedsprings and headboards, books, bombs, well Will’s Books Aren’t Fair.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 178 ~Will Outside The Box~

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Thursday still isn’t so much fun, and yes, it’s still Wednesday as I’m writing this. A day without writing is like a day without sunshine, or should I say Santa; I haven’t seen him around and how come. “Will Outside The Box.”

Thursday, December 26, 2019

Log 178 ~Will Outside The Box~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and what do I do with all that money? He only plays with the box THEY say. Okay, Diana, I’ll admit, even I’m iffy about today’s subject matter. Yes, it’s still Christmas Day, but what would Scrooge be doing other than working. Well, writing is hard, but it’s not a “job.” I’m also downloading a Christmas Porno “A Christmas Wish For Whitney,” from BABES. Somebody called it a Hallmark Movie with less clothing. Of course, Santa didn’t bring me anything I wanted this year, yeah I didn’t send a list.

Now, of course, getting to my list, Frapping, check, need to finish reading Snow Angel. I did start my review of Raphael. Reading, reviewing, reveling in writing it are all different things. Last night I didn’t wake up at 1:30 in the morning because you know I was still up. The day before, I needed Brooke Logan “Adult Supervision Required” to stay awake. The things that keep us up from the past to the future. I haven’t even watched anything dealing with Christmas unless it was porn. You might be “happy” to know that I took a casual glance at the satellite today. Katniss Everdeen, Bella Swan, talk about girls I wouldn’t mind seeing under my tree. No, Dirty Diana, I did not buy a tree or even mistletoe SIGH.

Where I lay, my head is a box. I have all the peace and quiet you could ever ask for and more. Yes, I am blessed as my motivations would go, but I have been listening to Christmas music a bit. Only again, that’s between all of the porn, but what else did I get myself for Christmas. A good breakfast, some cupcakes, time to handle stuff early. When I’m not looking at Brooke, Tia Tanaka, Alyssa Hart, I could go on forever. Still, the end of the decade is coming, and it’s Christmas Day. I should do myself a favor and keep it in my pants, don’t you think. How about cleaning the house some more or finishing my book review? I could finish “GULP” now wouldn’t that be something. None of these things sound so sexy, though, and the weather is hot enough.

If only there were a box big enough for all my porn, if I had a pretty girl, think Will, honestly Will Outside The Box.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 177 ~Will Wait For You~

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Merry Christmas, but the TRUTH isn’t a gift many people want but we all need, only as I asked myself, did I honestly need to say all of this on such a “magical,” “holy,” “capitalistic” day? Will Wait For You, and Happy Holidays

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Log 177 ~Will Wait For You~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m waiting to see that man in the mirror? If anything, I told myself I would be dreaming in bed tonight. A full eight hours, 11:00 PM to 7:00 AM, but at the moment it’s 10:55 PM. I guess I couldn’t wait, and no, I’m not going to sing the chorus of “I Don’t Want To Wait.” Now before we get into what I said Christmas Eve, ahem Merry Christmas to you, me, everybody. I’ll still not a man of faith Inspector Echo, but you know I’m always running. Escaping my past, one day somehow?

Okay, so that leads me back into yesterday, Ha, Ha. I was talking about songs that I’m still getting over, and those are only some of my many humiliations. You’re asking me, must I do this today or again shouldn’t I go to bed? You remember Sunday, July 02, 2017, Lesson 001, Look Who Grossed Up? The beginning of my new blog, a conversation with Lady Luna. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I couldn’t sleep then either all because of what I said to a woman. These past few days, I’ve been commenting on another blog. I have the right to exist; that’s my mantra at the Day Job. Only I shouldn’t have talked to that woman like that and at work? It’s like breathing is an insult to everyone, even me, dear Inspector Echo.

Humming Her Humiliations Playlist:

  1. Something Just Like This
  2. Oops (Oh My)
  3. break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored
  4. Touch My Body

So which is it, and I waiting for Santa, Jesus, some pretty girl, can’t I save myself? Flipping the coin, what is it that I want and I can give you the same answer as always. I want to write a bestseller, take the cash and move to Nevada. Inspector Echo I’ll work with Dennis Hof’s crew or set out alone. Brothel, strip club, hotel, movie studio, modeling agency, more. It’s not like Santa is going to drop a few million in my bank account tonight. Jesus has never given me peace of mind. I’ve fought his followers, starting with my “father.” Girls of the world ain’t nothing but trouble but money, power, then the women, but tonight’s Christmas wish.

11:35 PM, don’t regret tomorrow, LIVE, Will Wait For You.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 176 ~Will And Christmas Eve~

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Does this sound anything like last week, at least now I could call it “TRADITION,” and I don’t have many of those, more like routines but I have no idea what tomorrow will be but if I could play Santa? Will And Christmas Eve.

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Log 176 ~Will And Christmas Eve~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but the weather is something money can’t change. Yes, I know where my mind is going; don’t be so negative, focus on the tree in our living room. Okay, better the presents that are going around it right now. Well, more like tonight, I still have to play Santa, and what about you, Mrs. Claus, my Christmas Eve? I promise you one of these days we’ll have all sorts of Christmas traditions. A few billion isn’t enough? Yeah, aren’t we about to become some Hallmark movie.

Okay, so with Christmas movies in general, one of my favorites, A Christmas Story. I’ve always been a sucker for A Christmas Carol, including A Diva’s Christmas Carol, shocking. While I don’t remember the last Hallmark movie, some of those Christian movies are pretty good. Okay, let the presents be the most surprising thing for today and tomorrow. Oh, like my Spotify playlist, yeah, the Christmas selection isn’t much, still under an hour. Not much time for the most wonderful time of the year? I’m trying, no more like I’m doing, and Yoda is green. Now would be an excellent time actually to catch one of those old Star Wars specials. How about Charlie Brown as well, I’m not that old right but Santa Claus?

Anyway, I would say let’s go on vacation if Home Alone hadn’t scarred me for life. I’m joking, but I do want the family to see a White Christmas now and then sure. Okay, a Christmas Carol with Vanessa Williams, Christian movies, and now being cold? I’ll see myself out if you light one of those cookie candles like my mother would. If there is chicken frying in the morning, and of course, the two of us canoodling. Now that’s something that happens every day, loving you. I don’t need Stevie Wonder’s Someday At Christmas. I think I have said this once but NO MARIAH CAREY. There is an exception to that “Always Be My Baby,” or “Touch My Body.” The second one goes in my list of songs that embarrass me, hmm one more thing I need to do today. As I said, Santa is busy, and I intend to get a full night’s rest to play him, daddy, and husband all for tomorrow.

So looking to our tree, is that a star or apple; Will And Christmas Eve.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 175 ~Watching, Waiting, Hoping, Just Move~

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Run boy run, as the song goes, running’s a victory because even then I’m getting somewhere and if you ask me where I’m going, well tomorrow is Christmas Eve after all and while I imagine roaring fires? “Watching, Waiting, Hoping, Just Move”

Monday, December 23, 2019

Log 175 ~Watching, Waiting, Hoping, Just Move~

Hundred And Sixteenth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t follow the money. The truth is I follow my purpose as my motivations point out. One more early day, another mention of Far Cry 5. I beat the first “level” last night. Holland Valley Region Liberated, meaning I can finally take a breather. Isn’t that the problem, breathing is never enough for me, and at the same time, it takes so much to do so. I mentioned motivation, and I read, you must be careful how you talk to yourself. That your body doesn’t know the difference, positive, negative.

What you say and do matters, and is that why I choose neither. The effort gets to be too much sometimes. Another one of those self-help titles talks about you only need to feel good. When I wake up like this, the truth is I’m exhausted, but I’m super after the conversation. It doesn’t matter if I have to take a shower or I get to go back to bed. I’m moving forward, Madam Justice. Whether it be words, women, or warfare, and then I have to wonder where I’m going. Here’s another question, am I being dragged, am I all Do or Do Not, am I digging holes? Each footstep digging a grave? I don’t mean to sound morbid, again, careful how I speak about myself. At this time of the year, shouldn’t I be happier, one of those dirty words right, Madam Justice?

I’m trying Madam Justice; I’m even reading another Christmas story. Snow Angel by Minx, that’s as festive as I’m going to get. One more thing, every little step I take, as the song goes, I’m told is wrong. People demand I grow up but don’t look to the stars. I was about to mention slugs, but again, language. Do you remember when I would call myself out for that when I was cursing? Should I say I have more in common with Reginald Barclay or Vincent Anton Freeman? Despite being easily forgotten or their failures, and many fears they kept going. Living in the darkness Madam Justice, if you’re moving, there is no wrong direction. It’s why like those XBOX commercials, I ask, do I step, or do I leap? Why do we fall? How about why I have no throne here as of yet?

I’ve got no time, Will’s Watching, Waiting, Hoping, Just Move.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 174 ~Will Die Another Day~

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So what a way to kick off Christmas week, if anything I might let myself get a full eight hours, I don’t remember when I got six, uninterrupted, but it hasn’t killed me yet, though if this was Far Cry 5? Will Die Another Day.

Sunday, December 22, 2019

Log 174 ~Will Die Another Day~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, because I was a millionaire last year or not. How close are you? I mean, right at this second? I wish I could say I left you in a better position. Is it ever too late to spread joy? How about to acknowledge life or to live yours? I know that once this conversation ends, you’re going right back to sleep, but why. If you had to be at the Day Job, you would hop in the shower now. During NaNoWriMo season, you would say, 5000 words. When you were hiring, you would be full of energy.

Dream, Decide, Do; set a deadline dog as the kids would say. Last night, for example, I made a plan. Okay, sure it was Far Cry 5, but I said, I would take another outpost, meet Father Jerome, and kill John Seed. I wonder, is it family-friendly if I’m talking about video game characters? Anyway, I got it done, and I didn’t make a dime. At the same time, all the Christmas gifts are going to be late. Does love have a deadline? Love that’s a big step, but that’s neither here nor there. Unless we’re talking about the Dæmon lying on your ankles. My point is, it’s all about time. You want more time, and I’m not helping. Wasting all these days. You’re following in my footsteps, or you will. The week before was something to see, but how about those Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing The Book “Accidental Santa” By Celia Aaron
    Completed

I barely completed #6, and that was yesterday. There was another NaNoWriMo shirt in the mail as well proclaiming a victory. Fifty thousand words and not one book to show for it, Will. What about the grand plan that started for only $5.00? Every week I hope that you will be a better man, but I was worse than the one last week. When was the last time half of this list got done? In all fairness, these are some big things, but do I want to go back and see when’s the last time I conquered #1 ever. Have I ever been such a father? I moved towards #3 because of a woman. #4 has become a joke. Talk about dying because that’s the only result in #5. Twenty minutes that was #6 and now these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
  6. I AM Finishing The Book, That Is To Be Chosen

Life isn’t Far Cry, quit dying; Will Die Another Day.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 173 ~The Will To Betray~

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I say I would never betray my son, I don’t cheat on women, and I want to be as honest I can, even to a fault as some say but while I’m trying to look into a mirror, who is it stabbing me in the back? “The Will To Betray”

Saturday, December 21, 2019

Log 173 ~The Will To Betray~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now, and that’s worth a little treason. Now I don’t wish to emulate the President but for the right price? Didn’t I talk about having peace of mind last week? Instead, this week I have bought more almost, my arrogance, and anxiety. You know, in being the man that I want to be, I’m not even close. Last night I sent a message/comment to a blogger offering my services. In all fairness, it hasn’t been twenty-four hours. How about anxiety from spending money on more mom, $50.00 from a scammer. Of course, there’s also Indiana Gone’s gifts.

One of my motivations talks about sacrificing what you want. I know what I want, but every day I betray that man, and for what exactly? I rise at this “godforsaken” hour every single morning, expecting to get even more work done. On a workday I talk to you, I am almost late for the Day Job. I work for them, come back, and fall into my unmade bed, repeat. The real me sucks, but what about the virtual version. Of Mice and Men, they say, I had one plan and what happened there? Well, I’m taking the fight to John Seed because I’m sick of air travel. Namely, bullets and bombs, finding their way into my body, Far Cry 5, of course. There is one more life that depends on me, and I’m still not much of a father. My Dæmon has everything he needs, but what about more. No, I’m too concerned with maids, and let’s say charity.

I’m a businessman, or so I want to be like Hugh Hefner and Dennis Hof. No, they made choices; they gave others options. I ask everyone to forget who they are so they can fit into my narrative. Only that’s somewhat the idea, to break out. I need to start breaking out of the roles that people place on me, Lady Luna. Are these character studies any better or worse than the ones that I write of myself at times? What about the woman that I want to make happy one day? If you want me to have gratitude, that’s what it is for today. The idea that I can still believe in something like that at all. Well, l look at the time, the seconds marking my perpetual treason. Wake up, wise up, and denounce The Will To Betray.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 172 ~Will And Unfinished Productions~

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Will, I honestly leave so many things unfinished at the end of this year, indeed the decade; I still have eleven days to come up with some final words, and no not like that, I’m not done yet. “Will And Unfinished Productions”

Friday, December 20, 2019

Log 172 ~Will And Unfinished Productions~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s because I can close. The truth is, I’m also a writer, and that usually means starting in the middle and fighting my way out. Now I know where I’m beginning, Second Circle Creations. You also see the ending, but that’s better left to “others.”

I call myself a traditionalist, but you can also add perfectionist. Most people would say there’s no such thing is perfect. Well, I’m also a Star Wars fan, and it was a decade before I was born. When it comes to the path I’ve chosen for my life, it begins with one word, Willie. I’m sure I’ve told you the story, the first words I ever remember writing. Afterward, running to my aunt and asking what did it say. My name, and since then, it’s always been about what other people think about what I’ve written down. Even the title, the word Willie, it’s how I identify. How about as in giving somebody the willies. I could talk about the guiding force in my life, which of the seven deadly sins directs. Where there’s a will, God’s will, Iron Will, the “wheel” of destiny, or steel, what is my Will?

I want people to read, and yet I don’t publish any books. People have made it quite difficult for me to speak. My words, if they don’t find stagnation in my files, are sitting in police cabinets. Lost to me on a young woman’s blog, I don’t dare go to ever. There are the ones that die in my mind as soon as I think of them. Some I wish that I could take back. You can see last night as an example, smarting off to my mother, then again? Lady Sophia, I even hid my thoughts from yesterday morning from fear of being abandoned.

It would serve me right with all the stories that I’ve left wanting. The thing is I don’t want to be like “My President,” my words coming back to bite me over and over. I don’t want some universal hatred like the Game Of Thrones finale, (sigh). Every day I play Far Cry 5, and my character dies in the STUPIDEST ways (shudders). I don’t want to be like Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker and leave myself so unfulfilled.

The truest sentence, that’s me, not Will And Unfinished Productions.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 171 ~Pay For The Willies~

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Is it me or do these post get longer, of course, Thursday should be a fun day but it’s still dark outside, my eyes are heavy, and that’s probably to make up for the lack of weight in my wallet. Pay For The Willies, sigh.

Thursday, December 19, 2019

Log 171 ~Pay For The Willies~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how is that possible? Well, it’s no secret how I want to make my daily bread. Does that make me somewhat religious? Hell, what does anything sound like these days? Yes, I’m still upset I paid for nothing more than pretty words, $50.00 exactly.

I ask you to pardon me as I’m not at my peak of horniness. Dirty Diana, I am always exhausted. At the time, it’s taken me 40 minutes to get rolling. Do you know what that is in sex time? Now let me be clear; I have no problem with sex work. I’ve never paid for it, let’s say directly, but here we are. How many erotic novels have I bought over the years? I still have over $2,000.00 to go on my substantial investment. I paid $300 for a woman to do some modeling work. There is $200.00 still tied up at The Moonlite Bunny Ranch. A $100.00 or so to a Cosplayer. What about $40.00 for the starlets? There’s been $100.00 more from Girls Gone Wild to Japanese hentai. I should also mention good security, time, and humiliation. Should I be talking to Inspector Echo about all this? I did a bit, especially the latest $50.00 for nothing.

Maybe I want to talk myself into making better life choices. Every dollar is precious, and if I wanted to see a woman naked, ha, that’s as easy as breathing. I don’t have to look for oxygen and between all my social media? Still, I want to be the one writing those books, I want to open a brothel, I want other people, paying to see boobs. Even when it’s not direct, for example, I’m going to see Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker tonight. Oh, I mean, Rutting Ravishing Rey, Racy Raunchy Rose, and even Cute Courtesan Connix, SIGH.

“Lust is to the other passions what the nervous fluid is to life; it supports them all, lends strength to them all ambition, cruelty, avarice, revenge, are all founded on lust.” – Marquis de Sade

Le Marquis de Sade is right. Only what was it I asked yesterday, as the commercial goes, what’s in your wallet. Well, what wonders await me under the tree? It’s not like I even have a tree. To quote another song, ahem, Everyday Will Be Like a Holiday. Money, power, and then the woman, as Tony Montana put it, Dirty Diana. My “heroes” knew how to combine the two. Again, Money plus Power equals profit.

No, I’m only being a pervert, paying for my latest will, Paying For The Willies.

I Will Have No Fear