Tag: Fear

Gospel 108 ~HELLo Will Won’t Go~

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Saturday, October 17, 2020

Gospel 108 ~HELLo Will Won’t Go~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which would mean I even have a choice in the matter. As always, seeing how we’re talking so late… 10:15 AM, I chose to sleep in. You don’t even want to know what got me out of bed. Yep “Family-Friendly,” remember?

To be as clear as my head is right now, SIGH. I was up early to read, but I can’t speak of it as I keep saying. The thing is I want to talk about Eric Vall and A.J. Markam. Hell, I even want to talk about my writing. God knows I will when I’m at the Day Job humiliated. Lady Luna, it is by far more acceptable to speak of glorious demon battles. The universal struggle of good vs. evil. I can tell you of a man that wields both the powers of the demonic and the divine. Luther Vandross sang of “the greatest power of them all” however… Every day, as a matter of fact, “Here And Now,” aren’t I living the dream? I’m writing, I have a cup of tea which I’ll get to soon. For the record, my current reading reminds me of W. Anton.

As the world burns all around us outside, in the house, I’m freezing. One more reason, it was hard to get up this morning. I’m fortunate to have My Dæmon, the firstborn, a little “Imp,” to try and keep me warm. Which name do you like? Thank the authors for Imp. Curiouser and Curiouser! You wonder why I’m not turning on the heat. The moment I do, I’ll be burning up, and this cold snap won’t last. I should start checking on the car while I have the time to. I have to go to the Day Job. If only to keep my anger and fear. None of my emotions are useful when it comes to being warm. “Hot N Cold,” am I right? I’m quite eclectic, from Luther Vandross to Katy Perry wow. You know my current theme has been to stop listening to old white guys. What about Eric Vall and A.J. Markam, hmm?

I can’t say I see most of myself wrapped up in the sheets, lying in the sun. The Imp is around here searching for comfy spots. He’ll follow for hot wings, or so I tell myself before resetting the Wi-Fi. Yet, HELLo Will Won’t Go.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 106 ~Willy Cleans Up Nice~

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I’ve been talking about being in bed… sleeping, so I should probably get new pillows and speaking of which, I broke yet again on the mere idea of some. I’m still mad at Pinterest, but it wasn’t their fault. Willy Cleans Up Nice, but yeah, dirty mind.

Thursday, October 15, 2020

Gospel 106 ~Willy Cleans Up Nice~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford the best shower ever and a piece of the Kleenex company. I’m also not one to be stylish, despite M. Anime’s name numerology. I did clean up nice for Indiana Gone’s wedding. It’ll be her and hubby’s first anniversary on Monday. Anyway, today isn’t the day for all my other friends, but I still want to see M. Anime’s Yabbos. I’ve missed saying that, Yabbos, Dirty Pillows, and Knockers. I could use a shower now.

Yesterday I was hinting at the fact that I’m looking for that girl, “Kleenexing Knockers… fill in the blank.” She had her own section on one of my Pinterest boards that, of course, got wiped out. Am I still angry about that? Haughty, one might say, along with Hungry and Horny. Well, not so much anymore, dammit. So what broke me this week… Anna Cecilia Fae’s Knockers. Fuck I was doing so well, headed for five days of NO FAP. I’m 90% finished reading Succubus Lord 2. My first Pinterest board has 41 sections too. Yeah, and that’s because I’m looking for some blonde on a bridge, wearing a light purple dress with huge tits. So am I not into Tifa Lockhart anymore. Oh hell yeah, I am. She was in there somewhere before I broke, and now what’s next?

At the moment, my mind is at peace. Besides being handed another bit of responsibility. Did I talk about being the leader of my guild in The Walking Dead: No Man’s Land? One more board I’ll have to rebuild on Pinterest. It’s fantastic, Lydia’s 20. Honestly, I’ve been all about the Bennett Sisters from The Walking Dead: World Beyond lately. While I’m on the subject of sisters, what about the two from When the Streetlights Go On? Incredibly dirty stories, and by that, I mean zombies or murders, my mind. Fortunately, it belongs to me again, but that won’t last. Like Dennis Hof, I’ve said before, I’m immediately looking for the next party when it comes to sex. When it comes to Fapping, yep, I’m disappointed and want a shower and/or food. Yes, our time is drawing to a close Dirty Diana, which means I’ll be back to clean language. How am I doing, hmm?

Until I find Kleenexing Knockers somehow SIGH, it’ll take time, but Willy Cleans Up Nice.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 105 ~Three Willy And More~

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I like the movie Free Willy but my hand to God that title was the bane of my existence. Back then, didn’t that movie rule the box office, and as to ruling. What about my own life… Three Willy and More

Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Gospel 105 ~Three Willy And More~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now and ruler of the three kingdoms… more or less, remains to be seen. Well, aren’t I feeling all high and mighty considering this is Day Four of (you know what)? For the record, I liked “Free Willy,” but that title, SIGH.

Anyway, for what brings us together today, let’s start with Pinterest. I still mourn the loss of my second account. Hell, I created a whole new email account and am in the process of rebuilding. While it will never come to pass and almost doesn’t count, I have to “DO.” As to why I’m here so late, 4:05 PM. Have you ever discovered some “media” and then you’ve lost it? All-day, besides sleeping, of course, I’ve been searching for a particular girl. Now that’s about as far as I can get into it since today isn’t Thursday. I did fail.

Interestingly enough, I haven’t been adding many other boards. I’m sticking to my guns, no doubt, when it comes to locking down every gallery. For once, I am hiding. While at work, I’m again either trying or doing. So opposite.

I told one of the girls, Hell maybe even you, about my “promotion” working in the stockroom. If anything, I’m beginning to conclude that I will only be the fall guy in some shape. At least it keeps my mind off all the STUPIDITY that I usually do at work. Entertaining I am… but I’ve said before that the comedian is dead. I take a good look around, and there are far better jesters, jokers. Now you know how I hate the jeering above everything else. Is that what’s taking me so long to write those reviews, Quibi hmm. Somehow I finished that review that’s been on my Six Impossible Things list forever. Talk about being guilty, and you know I want to take responsibility. It’s that people have a tendency to ask me for everything. What is Rule 153? No Doesn’t Make You Cowardly.

Now to the only kingdom that should matter, and that’s my writing. Through writing, I will build a new world in my image. A place where My Firstborn will have all that he desires because he is killing me with his latest demands. Hell, I like to spoil him, Echo.

I am sorry though I didn’t write and everything’s falling. GREED, Three Willy And More.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 104 ~Will At First Sight~

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Last week I said something like, love will find me because I ain’t looking for it. If anything, I’m looking at the clock after I took too long of a nap. As I ask the question, what is there to see. “Will At First Sight.”

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Gospel 104 ~Will At First Sight~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but all I see is you. Crowns cost money. A halo shouldn’t cost anything. Of course, all my hoodies have sentimental value. Is this my way of saying I like my baby’s shine? “Well, sometimes I just can’t believe you’re mine.” To me, you are divine. Yeah, I haven’t been in a poetic mood for quite some time because I would instead study you. You know as I keep my ears open to every song (minus gospel), and all my pop culture references. Baby girl, “can’t take my eyes off you.”

Let’s say I did, and not for sleep. It’s my act of faith, hope, and love. So I ask you, do you trust me. Is that why I ask baby doll, “let me share this whole new world with you.” As long as I close my eyes and know that you’re beside me always, but you are my dream, love. Only I’m awake now, and when we first got together, well. Besides wanting the voice to sing this, “If I had one wish?” Ok, I’m going to be selfish, but I’ve always wanted a surprise party. You know how I am about E-Day, but that’s because nobody cares but you. Strangely enough, this is coming from a man that hates not being in control. Only to hear you ask me to close my eyes and when I open them to know. “Maybe, I’m amazed,” but with you, I always am.

The fact remains that even now, I still close my eyes when I pass by mirrors. Well, unless I get hurt or something. Today I checked out my ear because it got clocked by some camera rigging (my wishful thinking). Yet when I see you checking me out, well damn. When the day comes… no, I won’t even give voice to that understanding. My eyes will be full of tears. Yes, I know, I’m a broken record when I talk my eyes, his, but My Love, Your Eyes? Knowing that I’m no less of a man, that I can be, well, anything when we’re together. Now THEY say love is blind, and I’m not sure if I agree or not. It’s only the way I see you in my words, how every night you’re a starry-eyed surprise, how we are counting stars and dog hair.

Loving Will At First Sight.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 103 ~Grief Tastes Like The Ocean~

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I’ve been trying to drink two bottles of water a day, which still ain’t much but it beats turning all Kel Mitchell with orange soda. I actually like root beer and root beer floats, yum. “Grief Tastes Like The Ocean,” but I’m not sad, yet…

Monday, October 12, 2020

Gospel 103 ~Grief Tastes Like The Ocean~

Hundred And Fifty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so how can I be sad? Um, I’m also a black man living in the USA. It’s not like I blame mom’s cooking or anything. Yep, she was the first one to tell me not to use so much salt. Was I the only one dipping his digits in the seasoning hm? To tell you the truth Madam Justice, I’m not sad today but angry. Yet again, I wasted the day away, when we could have already had this talk. You know why I’m always so exhausted? It’s so I have the chance to cry when I yawn. Barring blood, other secretions.

Blood is salty, but I’m in no rush to spill it. I’m a writer, not a vampire, but either way, I’m a monster. Not to mock such greatness as Johnston Green… Come on, man! He was the mayor of Jericho. How about The Instructor in The Animatrix? The Operative? Entertainment, my dear Madam Justice? Again we have Jericho, a nod to The Second Renaissance and Serenity (2005). Here is my reasoning, they all spilled blood and showed remorse in having to do so. There was no time for tears but the taste of blood, always.

Interestingly enough, that’s how I see myself as an author. Haven’t I been complaining that I have no time? Come November, and with that NaNoWriMo, all my time will be spent on words. In those, I will grieve Madam Justice.

Why do you think all of my stories end up on a “specific” subject? You know what else take like salt… sweat. Of course, you know the word I want to say, but I’m “trying” to be good. Hell, how do you think I got out of bed, only I haven’t broken, thank goodness. Anyway, I don’t even like killing characters in my books. Take “The Eve of a Cherry” as an example. The first book was to know what he was losing, the second “For A Fine Cherry Spread” was acknowledgment. The third will be acceptance of the loss.

I cry for characters in books, and yes, there’s also anger. Before my inopportune nap, I read Eric Vall, and that was… something. As the song goes, “Tell me something good.” Because if I started crying about my real life, I might never ever stop. The taste is too much!!!

Grief Tastes Like The Ocean.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 102 ~When Will Gets Ticked~

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While I’m proud to say there is not one tick on My Dæmon, I still see them everywhere… counting down on the clock, in everything people do, and in one more reason I’m a writer. It’s hard to ball a fist while typing. “When Will Gets Ticked.”

Sunday, October 11, 2020

Gospel 102 ~When Will Gets Ticked~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you’re mad you’re not, I get it. To be fair and yes, I repeatedly say who knows if money would make you happy. The wealthiest people out there seem to be the angriEST. Some even work the hardEST putting their soul on paper. How often are the smartEST heard? I’m amazed you know the EST of WWE. At least she’s a black woman and not some old white guy… no offense to your mentors. Speaking of which, motivation speakers ask why are you here and why are you angry. Um well…

Why do lounge around in bed, “thinking about tomorrow?” Well, now we’re back to the white guys, AHEM, you got nowhere else to go. Nobody’s going to blame you if we don’t have this conversation today. How many have we had while you lie dying? Ticked off at the world. How about why are you here creating? Yesterday I started Pinterest again, and just this morning, you added two new boards. All of them locked down tight. The names of those boards dull. More importantly, what about your writing? You do see the eleventh. However, why would you even care? Dammit, the clock is ticking, tick, tock. You wanted to be up at 8 AM, right? What, not 4 in the morning? You also said you would be at the dining room table. So many promises like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight Always
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus 2 (Hell To Pay) Another A.J. Markam Title
    Completed

Are you angry that you’re starting “Back At One” again? 1 point for being alive and 16.5 points for reading another book, which I gave five stars to. Do you realize 15 poems a day for a week is over 100, and all you have to do is read them over? You choose to sleep. You’re ticked because you have so much time, and you waste it. I know you’re mad at me and the others; the reason why you restarted this blog. At the end of each day, you always hate yourself even more. You keep wanting to live for today, only it’s impossible. Greatest lie there is, you know but mixed with some truth. If we were to go back and look at the list all this year, what would we find? You paid people to publish a book, and you haven’t sent it, geez Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus Lord 2, Eric Vall

So you’re here and angrily dreaming When Will Gets Ticked.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 101 ~Reinventing The Will SIGH~

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I suppose I should be grateful for yet another opportunity to change. As much s I would like to admit I had plans for today, cut to Pinterest and a bout of sickness. Over one and not the other. Can you guess? Reinventing The Will SIGH.

Saturday, October 10, 2020

Gospel 101 ~Reinventing The Will SIGH~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so add doctors to the list. Here I was shaking about the Coronavirus (COVID-19), but where have I spent the last few hours? Well, yeah, in bed, sleeping until 10 AM, but I should have enjoyed it. Let’s say for now God bless Sprite, which I always keep on hand. How sick was I? It all started when I took a little trip down to Pinterest way. A new email, a new Pinterest home, and the same mistakes. The only thing that keeps me 100% fearful is my “father.” He was doing a favor, killing me.

Woah! I hear you, Lady Lu, and I’m not getting into any Halloween celebrations quite yet. What I mean is, as the song goes, you “Make Me Wanna Die.” I’m not suicidal, but back then, every single time, it was because of him. Didn’t want his progeny living in fear. Speaking of which, before I screwed up this afternoon, I was running away from my phone. Now of all the terrors it holds, friendship shouldn’t be one. Oh baby, I love you, just leave me the (blank) alone. I swear with such and such texting me I’ll write a book. Only my stomach knew I had no such designs, and when I know I’m doing something wrong, it’s all “Down With The Sickness.” I swear I felt like crying, and I’ve been getting many of these days over and over.

My dreams aren’t exactly helping. I told M Anime that they serve as messages. So my “father” a million texts, and an upset stomach, but now visions. Yes, Lady Lu, I still see myself as a young man. Well, me and My Dæmon wise. Even he was worried about me. Anyway, while dreaming, I saw a Latino man sliding down a slip n’ slide or a waterslide. Trash was on both sides, and he was scared, but he kept sliding without any real control. Hell, I wish I could tell you more, but again I’m trying to be good. So why am I on Pinterest? I see the signs. And not only in my head Lady Lu. I’m wasting too much time on nothing. You know, maybe that’s it, something fun, but it’s all garbage. What about the character, hmm?

As always, I have to be better, but again I’m trying. Reinventing The Will SIGH

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 100 ~A Will Good Read~

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One more week down and one more book read, not that I will change the challenge to fifteen. I don’t have that sort of faith but shouldn’t I read at least four “Holiday” stories, and NaNoWriMo is in November. “A Will Good Read,” someday

Friday, October 9, 2020

Gospel 100 ~A Will Good Read~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and “If You Don’t Know Me by Now,” I’m building a library. Now why I don’t care much for The Twilight Zone’s – Time Enough at Last (hits too close to home). What wouldn’t I give for all the time in the world to read AND write? Yeah, and what have I been doing for the last few hours again? Hell, I should note Eric Thomas’s words of giving up sleep. At least I woke up to good news. Geez, how I have missed Skybound’s compilations.

It’s a fitting reward for finishing the novel of the week. Now you know I can’t talk about it because it ain’t Thursday. Yet the ending was satisfying enough that I might turn back to Eric Vall’s works. Speaking of things I’m not finishing. Yes, so many different series and so little time. I wish I could tell you the name of my next prominent character. NaNoWriMo begins next month, and I’m no closer to finishing GULP this week. Hell, I did spend one whole night reading through a novel, Wake Me Up Before I Kill You. Yep, that’s what they call foreshadowing. Yes, My Lady, I noticed I’ve used “Hell” twice, but what can I say, it’s one of my favorite words. I’ve got a list of my most hated words, so why not my favorites. I’ve been saying I’m going to get a brand new Pinterest. Only I won’t use any of my words there, like never ever.

I’ve been much too busy reading My Dæmon’s medications and his new food. I’m talking vittles that look pretty good… not that I’m doing a taste test or anything. Only one more reason I’m late today. I went to two BBQ joints, and that Piggie Potato sent me to sleep. So what, did I come into some money? I’m afraid not, but I did work on an off day as if I “resurrected my cashflow.” I promise one of these days, you are going to get all my pop culture references. If I ever publish a book, I’ll be able to contact these celebrity people. “The beautiful people, the beautiful people,” as the song goes. Okay, so going back to my book. Dr. Sarah Annora Haven is covering up the fact that she murdered Deanna. When Father Bridgman should have.

What, the stories over already… it’s A Will Good Read.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 099 ~Will Of The Illogical~

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Is she an alien, a robot? Maybe she’s like me believing it’s the end of the world and if I were the only boy and she is the only girl. All I know is this isn’t normal, which is why I scare all the MILFs. Will Of The Illogical

Thursday, October 8, 2020

Gospel 099 ~Will Of The Illogical~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so let’s get lost, as the song goes. For the record, seeing how I’ve tried to clean up my image these past few days. Today I can say what I want; I’m putting that out there. Now, yes, for posterity AHEM, Zombies, Aliens, Robots. I believe in all of them. Only which one will take us out first? Do I sound crazy to you? Dirty Diana, I actually prefer the following miracles. When I get some girl to take her clothes off. How about getting into bed with some random girl? My writings as turn-ons.

First Dirty Diana, I do consider women, um… Well, that would be a long-ass conversation today. Let’s say with all the leaps in bounds in medical technology. Hundreds, Thousands, Millions, of alien women dotting the cosmos. What about companies like Real Doll? I value humans. Opening up the novel I’ve been reading, Succubus 2 (Hell To Pay) is an exception. What about my writing of women inflicted with a zombie thirst for “sex?” I’ll even admit to several fantasies, with tentacles. Hell, three words are you ready; “Detroit Become Human.” Basically, my point is Dirty Diana is when it comes to a woman, something has to be wrong with her. Talk about projection, am I right? Any woman that is what accounts to “normal” wouldn’t have me, I know that.

Introductory classes on not being confident or sexy; yep, I’ll be here all week. I wish I could say I sound like a Vulcan a bit. Yet again, I am ignoring the advice of old white men. I’ve started NO FAP what now! At least I’m not edging to FF VII Tifa for now, ha-ha. Starting with some good ole model ass. Yeah, can’t say I ever fucked some girl at prom. I’ve never deflowered some virgin. Dirty Diana, with all the kinky shit I’m into, I’ve never had a threesome. Can’t say I’ve ever woken up with a girl on Saturday listening to music. Commencing with my everyday life, that’s what that would be. It would be logical, and I am anything but and neither are most women. How about thinking about Yabbos 24/7 and 365 Dirty Diana, nope.

Topping, being a dominant, the lifestyle, what’s wrong with that. So I create a new world that makes no sense. Love, Will Of The Illogical

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 098 ~Well HALO There Will~

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Be yourself… question, what is the worst advice you’ve ever been given? If I could start again, a million miles away as the song goes. I’m no saint but I was raised in the church; I could fake it, I know plenty who do. Well HALO There Will.

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Gospel 098 ~Well HALO There Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but the truth is, as the song goes, I feel STUPID. Yes, Inspector Echo it’s still one of the ugliest words in the English language. The #1 word of my most hated words. Now don’t expect me to get all positive as I was at the beginning of the year, maybe. Oh, and speaking of negativity, I’m pretty damn sure I don’t have the PLAGUE better known as Coronavirus (COVID-19). My nose is better; while not perfect, I’m still breathing. I guess I can clear my head. Is that a HALO?

Not sure if you’ve seen, but over the past few days, I’ve been trying to let my better qualities show. In the words of Kratos, “Don’t be sorry. Be Better.” Hell, I’ve only played the first God of War and haven’t picked up a controller in ages. Now my smartphone… Anyway, I have been reading every day. Nothing I can talk about, mind you. I should probably get into reading the Pinterest rules. Am I going back to that? As THEY say, Echo, third time is the charm. I noticed yet again I’m listening to an old white guy, SIGH. Speaking of old white guys, I can name two. First, I have my boss at the Day Job. Now he and the GM have given me an “important” assignment of back stocking all the new stuff we’re getting. Heaven has its jobs, and so does Hell, but who am I?

I have to stop convincing myself I’m this massive sinner. Otherwise, I’ll never get over my consuming addiction. Yet I know I’m not a saint either, but I’m out there looking for a HALO, which is more elusive than my work. The thing is I ain’t Trump, I’m taking responsibility. Inspector Echo, is it too little, too late? I don’t want to spend my life alone, and even my little dæmon is in trouble. You must be getting sick of me with the songs, but AHEM I keep trying to do the right thing, But I keep doing it the wrong way. Aren’t he and I a match, Father and son? Today the question is, why am I trying to change. Well, no, it’s more to the tune of fixing my image. That’s a no go too. In truth, I don’t want to be a good man. Only Will hmm?

Nah. Well HALO There Will.


I Will Have No Fear