Tag: Fear

Log 326 ~Will Digs On Hate~

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For once, I could write a “happy” story, well not that kind of happy. Though a lady at the Day Job said that my furbaby was cute so I can’t say I hate everybody there anymore, 99 Problems but she ain’t one still. Will Digs On Hate

Friday, May 22, 2020

Log 326 ~Will Digs On Hate~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that doesn’t make me happy. Do you find it strange Lady Soph, that I consider HAPPY a hated word? Now HATE itself… I swear at the Day Job all I feel is RAGE, it’s all-encompassing. All my motivations talk about things like the Law of Attraction, Hard Work, Discipline, etc.

Are you saying I’m not; how many talks have I had in the past few days? Hell, I don’t want to get you or the girls sick with my Vitriol. That and my Libido, well hinging on how my talk with Dirty Diana went. They’re twin battering rams breaking me.

I want to focus on Vitriol, which I learned from Paulo Coelho’s book Veronika Decides to Die. I haven’t read it lately. We’ll get to my current reading list. Anyway, I’ve been having to mind my tongue at the Day Job. I mean damn, I marched right into my boss’s office. She wasn’t there, thank God, but let’s talk about another faceoff I’ve been having. My Fleshlight is sitting on the bathroom sink. No disrespect to former alcoholics, people with drug problems, or “real” addictions. I’m sitting here, and I’m dying to well “dive in.” I want to tell you everything, Lady Sophia, but that’s one more thing I can’t. There’s no TIME, it will cause too much TROUBLE, and I’m always TIRED. You should have seen me yesterday when I broke. I hated myself, but my mind was clear, and then, F my life.

Seeing as I can’t be negative all day but you know I’m going to try. Do you remember when I got heavy into Sean Weathers films, and I sort of wanted to direct those? Well, now I’m into Eric Vall. I’ve been reading Succubus Lord, and so far, I’m quite pleased with it. However, let me screw this up. While reading his book, I’m discovering Harem romances. One series by Rodzil LaBraun called Dystopian Girls. Of course, with my enjoyment of Vault Girls and Call me a Legend, this is becoming my niche. So I won’t be good at it. With that being said, I have come up with two new story ideas. A sequel to The Eve of a Cherry and one based on me sitting right here. On that topic, it’s been quite a while since I talked to Cherry? My wrong words, SIGH Will Digs On Hate.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 325 ~The Way Up Will~

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As Aerosmith once put it, “Love in an Elevator,” now that’s something to put on a “certain” list though I’m sure my collection has a few examples of it. If I want it to happen, though, I should get a few other things up first. “The Way Up Will.”

Thursday, May 21, 2020

Log 325 ~The Way Up Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and even more if I start thinking with the big head instead of the little one. Well, I’m here, aren’t I? It’s Sunday, and I’ve traveled four days into the future. Yes, I hate the Day Job, my dick is up more often than me, but damn there’s always boobs.

Boobalicious/Milk Junkies, what I would give to be so creative, to touch, to feel. No Dirty Diana, the name of the game these days is profit. Hell, I’ve been all over Onlyfans these days, but I only talk to boobs I “know.” I’m still on the concept that a woman has to aim higher with me. My brain, the beat of my heart, someone who makes me want to surrender my bucks. Speaking of which, if I wasn’t so busy trying to sell books, I would want to review hentai. Wasn’t I talking about going all body-wise myself when it came to Onlyfans last week? The things a lack of Fapping leads to, but again being Sunday, I’m still going strong at eleven days. I didn’t even break out my Fleshlight yesterday. You know I get all into sex toys and “stranger” fetishes of mine.

Now I don’t mean the “Boobless Wonder” Anna Vlasova, aka Alissa or Rebecca from MarvelCharm. It doesn’t bother me at all, only you know that I can name other models, of course. I’ve even gone back to MILF Dos a time or two, and you know she has an impressive set. She’s a good girl, a good woman I should say and wasn’t I talking about holy women and kimonos last week. So what gets me higher than that Dirty Diana or more to the point who. The mind reels.

Some time ago it was trains and buses and now Love in an Elevator. Kininaru Kimochi 1-3 but the fourth one? I guess someone got bored, but I will never get tired of TITS. I could sit here today for hours telling you every single movie. From “Debbie Does Dallas” to the Discipline series. Using sex to make money is not a hard concept… okay, I did not just say that Dirty Diana. My point is even Think and Grow Rich, talks about harnessing the sex instinct. On top of doing what you love, motivations.

So where am I going, what’s The Way Up Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 324 ~Will’s Embarrassing Wily Whims~

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Maybe I won’t be able to find something for a customer. It could be wearing my bandanna as a mask because I was so late to the party, not fearing the apocalypse. Hell, it might be this conversation. Will’s Embarrassing Wily Whims.

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Log 324 ~Will’s Embarrassing Wily Whims~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I am finding it hard to stay positive. Hell, I have another book idea? If I were to write down everything that humiliates, embarrasses, and shames me, SIGH. Now that would be over Fifty-Thousand words. Today I don’t intend to go so far, but the Day Job is calling, so I’ll be in no mood to write. You know Inspector Echo, I would make a “decent” masochist, seeing as how I want the pain. Oh, and sex isn’t something I’m ashamed of, for the most part, at least, um yeah?

Anyway took a look at my schedule for the Day Job, I’m expecting “humiliations galore.” Of course, I know I don’t have to. I could walk in, and my temperature could spike over 100° F.

I’m not sick but angry, expecting embarrassment, hiding my real work. Speaking of which while my real life sucks. Yes, I said it, SUCKS, another one of my most hated words. Only because people took it from me, you know. Back to my point, what about The Eve of a Cherry or GULP? I let people read my stories and what happens, hmm. Dead in the Water as the song goes, which should cool me off. Yes, I like Ellie Goulding and Abba. I have a dedicated playlist that sings of my shame. Not Ellie Goulding but others. Yesterday though, I was reading over GULP… well, damn you Grammarly app.

Will’s Hated Words:

  1. Skeevy
  2. Stupid
  3. Merge
  4. Happy
  5. Family-Friendly
  6. Just Kidding
  7. Tease
  8. Freak
  9. Lazy
  10. Sucks

It’s my fault too, though, for wasting so much time. Here it is May, and I should have long ago published. No, today I got so caught up thinking about the Day Job I had to take a nap. Now my whole schedule is thrown off. Showering at the whims of My Dæmon. Using him as an excuse, yeah, I should be ashamed. What about the new game I’m playing? Yes, Inspector Echo, I’m still all about Call me a Legend. Life imitating art, living in the plague era, chasing the girlies, and I’m not the best father I can be. How about being a friend? I’ve barely talked to Indiana Gone. I don’t know what M Anime is up to. Well, I did hear from Whisper Girl, and what about Cherry, yeah my novel.

I’m sorry, Inspector Echo, for expecting the worst. For sometimes even rooting for the Coronavirus. Living Will’s Embarrassing Wily Whims.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 322 ~Blood, Sweat, Tears, I Rather…~

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How badly do I want “it,” well, how much time do I give these conversations? I’m always late because I’m doing “other” stuff and thangs. Still, how many days have I missed? Blood, Sweat, Tears, I Rather well um

Monday, May 18, 2020

Log 322 ~Blood, Sweat, Tears, I Rather…~

Hundred And Thirty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I WANT to say it’s because I’ve been ignoring what I WANT to do. Even my motivations are mixed in that regard. Either be a man that works his behind off or do what you love and never work a day in your life. I’m both to be sure, but one gets me paid, and the other doesn’t. I bleed, sweat, and cry, for a job I can’t stand, and everything else makes me feel as the song goes Hella Good. Here’s a question, at this moment, how am I feeling?

Ordinary, which means I’m afraid but less so. Indeed fearing to be real is far better than what others would make of me. Whether you know it or not, I’m bleeding with every word I write. It hurts, but at the same time, I find peace. There’s no rage to be had here, and yet people act as if I have struck a blow. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve said some, SIGH, STUPID things but the things others have made of me? To quote another song, he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus, and still as written in the Bible:

19: And He took the bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is My body, given for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” 20: In the same way, after supper He took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood, which is poured out for you.… (The Last Supper)

If I could tell you all the things that make me sweat, for example, daring to use the Bible. How about even going to look for that verse? Wouldn’t Christians call that satisfying work? I sweat at the Day Job, but every drop isn’t for the work; it’s for my escape. Now, if only I could use that for what I desire. It looks like I have plenty of time to work on Gulp, doesn’t it? No, I’ll be looking into more porn, won’t I? I was on the cusp of breaking last night, I swear Madam Justice. Such is my addiction, but I made it over a week now.

So you’re asking me why no happy tears? If I have any tears at all, it’s allergies. Sometimes Tony Baker makes me laugh plenty. I cry when there is something wrong with My Dæmon. I’m sure I talked about that last week. Sometimes I’m scared of closing my eyes because I’m tempted to fall right back to sleep. Again you know what keeps me up in more ways than one. If all I was revolved around that. For a good life, Madam Justice, it takes Blood, Sweat, Tears, I Rather…

I Will Have No Fear

Log 321 ~Will Is So Hot~

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Is it hot in here or is it just, well it’s me because I’m angry. Any other emotion that brings heat isn’t welcome in my neck of the woods. Still, no, I’m not sick with the great plagues of our day, COVID-19, STUPIDITY, or complacency. Will Is So Hot.

Sunday, May 17, 2020

Log 321 ~Will Is So Hot~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but please don’t be Trump. You know the kind of guy that will say something like “he’s hot” because no one else will. Not even the thermometer, but I should have taken it at its number and left the Day Job. I’m plenty hot now, and so are you I know it. It’s not the Coronavirus (COVID-19) bringing the heat. Good thing I was wearing a mask. Because of the vile words, I wanted to spit at the Day Job. Now I’m not going to preach at you. In one ear and out the other or exhaustion.

Let’s start with the basics, HUMILATION, but there is a worse word for that, STUPID. Whether it be from being unable to help any customers. How about having to wear a radio and an earpiece? You’ve been without the Day Job so long, and Hell, you’re not on the schedule yet. HAUGHTY, is it not that you think everyone else is the problem. I tell you I was at the Day Job saw a few people in the breakroom and walked right back out. I want you to understand that you did not survive this to go back to the status quo on anything. HORRIBLE to admit, but all during that shift, I think about the phrase, “we need a new plague.” Again I ain’t Trump who doesn’t give a shit about anybody (pardon my French). Still, I was at the Day Job “praying” for zombies, or worse. Careful, boyo. Almost forgot Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 009 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Completed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making My Bed, Every Day For This Week
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing The Zombie Survival Guide
    Completed

HELLISH rage was consuming me at how I was being treated there. My only “saving grace” is the fact that I always feel it more for myself. I hate myself, so I can’t be angry at the world. Geez, I’m even mad at you because I know you’ll continue the cycle. HORNY man, are you not? It’s been a while since I’ve gone over a week without FAPPING. Now, where have I been this morning? Behind Closed Doors, Boobalicious/Milk Junkies, Kininaru Kimochi. HOT weather is never enough, is it? Pages burn, boiling blood means no Day Job and the rest of my body SIGH. Nobody needs to tell you about Hell, which is reason enough you’re not listening. Yet no matter what Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Making My Bed, Every Day This Week
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus Lord by Eric Vall

Is there anything I can say that isn’t hot air? Well, Will Is So Hot.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 320 ~The “Way Out” Will~

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I and no good without my nap, but I have worse crimes, of course, and here I am plotting some sort of way out, or at least I hope so. How much is it going to cost me though $45 or more, hmm? The “Way Out” Will.

Saturday, May 16, 2020

Log 320 ~The “Way Out” Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how? Now you know how I hate sounding like the President. There are plenty of ways I would like this period in history to end though I lack the “liberty” to share them. Besides, we should talk about me and How’s It Going To End?

Should we talk about Thursday, seeing as how it’s Wednesday now? You’re seeing this as Saturday, though. The wonders of Time-Travel. Chances are I ain’t no fortunate son. Yeah, still at the Day Job and next week; there’s no end looks like. When’s the last time I finished a video game? Far Cry 5, NOPE, Heavy Rain, negative, Call me a Legend, are you serious with my little virtual harem? I know Lady Luna, but what was I doing in the shower? I see all my secrets coming to light, losing the social life that I do have, or being oh so sorry. Again there might not be an end, only repeating everything over and over. I’m sorry if I sound down, but this is what happens when I don’t get my afternoon nap. You know I still hate waking up early, and for what?

If there is an end, I hope it’s not like my books, me breaking, or a bunch of lost bucks. The emptiness Lady Luna, that’s the only way I can describe it. It feels so good, but then there’s only okay, and what do I have to show for it. 50,000 words, a clear mind for a few hours, or making some pretty girl happy. That’s what I have been sitting here contemplating. $45 to become a Patron. I only now got the Day Job back, and today I want to spend money, quick escape.

No Lady Lu, I’m talking to you because as the song goes, I’m Gonna Be Somebody. Funny, I use the song from Police Academy, and how often do I break the law? Yeah, I’m not behind bars… been there done that when I was in juvenile detention. It’s not like Coronavirus (COVID-19) did a number on me. Other than a bunch of new rules, and yes, I’m still mad at Academy Sports + Outdoors. I don’t let go of anything, right? My way out is with Bucks, Babes, and let’s say Biology for now, hmm?

So how to obtain those things, The “Way Out” Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 319 ~Will Needs To Project~

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Project or project and have I ever mentioned that my Grandmommy lived “project adjacent.” I only got beat in the suburbs to be fair, but that’s not a story I want to tell. How about a “nice” Harem novel. Will Needs To Project

Friday, May 15, 2020

Log 319 ~Will Needs To Project~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I have all the time in the world. You’ll have to excuse me though as to how I’ve spent it this morning. One of the reasons I tout being a writer is the fact that I want to remember. In the past hour, I’ve only been looking at things I wish to regret. My FATHER, hates me saying this but, “Pretty Much” all women. I know you’re asking yourself, is this going to be another list? As I said, I write to remember, to speak as I please, and to get the Hell out of Dodge. My life’s project.

So anyway, besides looking at all the different meanings of “Project,” I’ve been looking for a girl. Don’t worry, my “stalking” days are done but not my “skeeving.” I hate to disappoint a woman, but anyway, it’s the girl in the kimono from Mob Wars. Find something better to do which of course I will this afternoon. Have I mentioned the fact that I’m back at the “Day Job?” The Law of Attraction being what it is, I won’t say anything wrong. By the time you’re reading this, I hope I had a Good Day as the song goes. What would be better is if I made any progress at all on Six Impossible Things? I won’t hold my breath., How long was I recuperating, recovering, and sad to say reliving my last workday, SIGH.

If anything I hope I finished, The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead. Have I learned anything with this being my second time reading it? Yeah, I thought so, and the next novel is Succubus Lord by Eric Vall. That will be followed by Too Late by Colleen Hoover. It’s the Harem Romance genre that gets me, though. You can find plenty on a Reverse Harem (one girl has multiple guys), but I have been doing research. Okay, I’m trying, on top of figuring out ways to make money. I’m not sick with the Coronavirus (COVID-19), but of people. Again my reasons for writing, people are telling stories about me when I can write them down myself. It doesn’t help when I still forget everything, what about my big series? If not that, The Eve of a Cherry, Gulp, Gown of Chaos?

Most writers look for Brand New. Will Needs To Project.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 318 ~Howling, Hot Here’s Willy~

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As the “Fresh Prince” once said, “Hurt Me, Hurt Me,” though I’m more a sadist, to be honest, it’s just the way I get all “warm and tingly,” or how I’m buying my ticket to Hell perhaps. Howling, Hot Here’s Willy

Thursday, May 14, 2020

Log 318 ~Howling, Hot Here’s Willy~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I must be a HOT commodity. Again this is going to be one of those conversations. Brought to you by the letter H. I will also yet again blame Girlfriend Reviews. Should Your Boyfriend Play Nier: Automata? Yeah, seeing as I feel some kind of way towards 2B and Commander White. Not that I have much time to play video games, and I’m on day six of NO FAP. Which leads me into today and what is getting me hot, besides liking alliteration.

HUMILIATION, how many times must we talk about it? I don’t know as long as I like the real stories from some women. You know the language that I always prefer the whole word “Whore” in comparison to “HO.” Loving the way a girl moans and groans it, her cries. HOWLING, and no, I don’t mean like a wolf. For a man like me who enjoys getting his cock sucked, I like loud girls. No, not that kind of loud if you know what I mean. Bedroom noise, not waste my time gibberish. For a girl to choose you, over-breathing, blowjobs, or my name. HOLY, a divine experience. I do enjoy good girls, no doubt, and between maids and nuns. For some reason, I’ve gotten it into my head that kimonos are holy, but I know they were usual. Between Kurenai, Fuu, this Mob/Mafia game I played on Facebook, and others well cue Homer Drool.

HEAVY, not in the slightest, but what about the likes of Momokun who showed off her ta-tas? I won’t lie, I’m still hoping to see Cherry’s, but I haven’t asked in quite a while. As skinny as I am Dirty Diana, where do I get off? On BBWs, but not today, keep it in my pants. HOPING though to be a father someday. Is pregnancy sexy? There was this girl I wanted to date that got knocked up. Watching wrestling last night, Becky Lynch, announced she’s pregnant. In The Eve of a Cherry, one of my characters was expecting. Beautiful MILFS. HOT yet, Dirty Diana? Time marches on, and the things that get me going damn me to Hell ever more so. I was at the Day Job, and my temperature climbed; I’m not sick.

Well, at least not with the Coronavirus but my pending desires, Howling, Hot Here’s Willy.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 317 ~Willing To Work Yet~

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First week back at work, how am I holding up? I tell you the things I would do, and I had a month, and what did I do? Wrote a book I can’t publish, and while the Coronavirus hasn’t gotten to me, I still suffer from anxiety. “Willing To Work Yet”

Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Log 317 ~Willing To Work Yet~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it took work to get here. So you know, WORK isn’t on my list of most hated words. I talk about work and the Day Job. Inspector Echo, I respect having to work, but I consider myself lazy. Then there’s the Day Job hmm… have we talked about what else I would be willing to do. Anything to avoid days like Monday… assuming the worse?

For example, why I’m talking to you today, now it’s Sunday. So I’ve blogged this day for about three years now. Right here, looking at my name badge from the Day Job. It’s been “almost” nine years, living paycheck to paycheck. My blog, in three years, is over 438,000 words and not one single book to show for it. Speaking of books, what about The Eve of a Cherry and Gulp? I couldn’t possibly get them published, and why not you ask? Oh right, too busy edging with Mia Khalifa, Mia Malkova, or Mia Rose. If I could organize characters as well as I do my porn. Yeah, my porn, I wasn’t kidding about Onlyfans. I’ve seen the guys that sign up for that. While I have no qualms about my body, it’s not like I would make any money? Last week I had to forgo some of my “investment” budget for the essentials. So I seem to be now.

An essential worker, Inspector Echo, I would do all the above if it meant I could escape the Day Job. Again why I’m talking to you today because when I get scheduled, I don’t want to wake up early. As THEY say about time and money and how do I spend those funds? Not on Call me a Legend or anymore on Onlyfans, yet. My money keeps me going to do things I don’t want to do, and still, I look like some charity case. By the time you’re reading this, I should have a few masks from the Day Job. Remember how I said WORK isn’t a bad word, but yeah, I should add LAZY, and I’m still SIGH STUPID. Everyone figured out how to get a mask before me, all I got is my bandanna and some cloth. Only I’m still going out to the Day Job because I don’t care enough to work at what I love.

No, I’m lazy, horny, and broke, Willing To Work Yet.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 315 ~No Rest For The Wicked~

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My first day back at the Day Job officially, and I hope I’m not sick. Maybe the zombies will finally take the planet, which is far more likely than my finishing a book for publication, don’t you think? No Rest For The Wicked.

Monday, May 11, 2020

Log 315 ~No Rest For The Wicked~

Hundred And Thirty-Sixth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I can’t be evil; I sleep way too much. Then again, I know plenty of sinners that sleep like babies. Am I saying that all rich people are evil… was it hard choosing sides between Captain America and Ironman? SIGH that has me thinking about the Day Job. No, I’m not a superhero, not even an ESSENTIAL worker, I’m only in retail. So how was my first day back? Well, seeing’s it’s Saturday right now, and last night I wanted to vomit looking at my schedule. As I talked about yesterday, being “Status Quo” is one thing. What evil things do keep me up at night?

The worse would have to be when My Dæmon isn’t feeling well. It means I’m forgetting what it is to be a father when I can’t help him. All of yesterday, I was figuring out how to buy his meds. I bought food, shared fries, let him hog the bed. Still, he’s an old man, and I’m fighting time. Speaking of time, what am I doing for Mother’s Day? One of those “holy” holidays I forgot about while talking to Dear Future Wife? The good news is, I haven’t forgotten, seeing again I know what day it is. Only what do I think about what my Mom told me yesterday about my grandfather? Should I be broken up, destroyed about my Granddad having the Coronavirus (COVID-19)? I told everyone about the man who said, and I quote, “I don’t know you,” and that’s not him being old. Family… what family?

No Lady Sophia I’m too busy looking at Girls, Girls, Girls, all night. I swear I can’t go to sleep until I, well? Afterward, I still don’t want to sleep, as Dennis Hof said, he goes looking for the next party. It’s like The Matrix; all I see is blonde, brunette, redhead. Same with my stories, didn’t I mention Indiana Gone, Whisper Girl, and Cherry. I write about the things I would like to do to women and then crickets, tumbleweeds, utter silence. I would never consider silence as my fear, but people treat it as a sin. If I want to talk about sin, though, what about the things I do to myself. Hell, it’s why I’m still alive.

If I ever published a book or built a brothel? No Rest For The Wicked.

I Will Have No Fear