Tag: Fear

Log 143 ~Training Hands Of Will~

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Well now everybody gets to see “Yabbos” and sitting or standing, everybody gets to ride and you have to forgive me, more Thora Birch in TWD so yeah “Yabbos” is becoming my go-to word, I still need 8000 though ha. Training Hands Of Will

Thursday, November 21, 2019

Log 143 ~Training Hands Of Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that seems more plausible than surviving No Nut November. Now I could go all-in on my BDSM philosophy but (Bane Voice) “That comes later.” Days like this tend to either exhaust me or turn me on; that’s, of course, when I’m writing. Sometimes I think I’ll never get a solid night’s sleep again though I only needed 800 words tonight. Anyway, as Tony Baker puts it, that’s neither here nor there. Do you want to know what broke my latest streak only yesterday, Mia Malkova “Groped On Train,” right.

Of all the things I can name from Asian culture. Martial arts films, my favorite Chinese food place the Red Lantern. Samurai Champloo, and other anime. Of course, Hentai, well hell, that’s where I got started. Midnight Sleazy Train; that goes back into my overall life goal. Running a brothel and that was mobile to boot. I’m still not one for sharing, the Swinger lifestyle and all. Okay, slow down, Kemosabe, first you need a girl. Don’t get on me about mixing Asians and Native Americans; it worked for Best of the Best 2. Only like I was saying movies. From Midnight Sleazy Train to G-Spot Express. Crimson Girls, Virgin Roster, School of Bondage, etc.

You’re damn right I said that because I can’t be up all night Ha. When is the last time I got more than four hours of uninterrupted sleep? It’s called being an adult, Dirty Diana.

Plus, I’m trying not to keep the wheels turning, though those on my first car should. I still haven’t texted back M. Anime because of these words. Eight hundred for the novel and then our conversation, which I should return to, so here we go. There’s this one with cheerleader Jenny Anderson on a train. Another starring Aiden Starr, one with Chastity Lynn, how about Alyssa Branch. So I’m confusing trains and buses, better question, other than Jenny why blondes. I can go further why everything on wheels, you know I’m one for the subconscious mind. Maybe this stuff with my other car comes out in another direction? Let’s not forget about Alli Rae, but again there’s one that doesn’t fit the motif. What’s that again, seeing, sharing, shocking public displays. Sounds like my writing, still with no sex, so surprise, surprise, am I right?

That’s me getting to sleep at a decent hour but no, Training Hands Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 142 ~Thy Will Be Done~

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As the song goes, I was almost home, well 42,000 words leaving 8000 to go if I hadn’t wasted days from this one to that; and what about the Day Job, people, I am so done with everything and then nothing. Thy Will Be Done

Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Log 142 ~Thy Will Be Done~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I could have been a year ago, or what’s my age again? Now it’s no secret Inspector Echo; if I had that level of wealth, I’d have a gaggle of young girlfriends. How about a beautiful wifey, yeah I’m still trying to be Dennis Hof. Only I was telling Cherry the other day, some women of a particular age are BRATS. I do mean legal age, but I’m getting off the subject, which is hmm? I should be done by now, with my novel, with the Day Job, how about staying afraid? Now you’ll have to excuse me, Inspector Echo, there’s work to be done.

The “Wrist” Of Playing Chrono

Chapter I Buttons, All Shapes And Sizes = B, Protagonist
Chapter II Tight Type Of Time Management = T, Victim
Chapter III Hands Across An American Girl = H, Mnemosyne
Chapter IV Put Your Clothes On Chrono = C, Cult

Chapter V Gears Looking At Your Kid = G, Victim
Chapter VI I Spy Some Amazing Thighs = I, Mnemosyne
Chapter VII Knowledge Of Knockers And Knockers = K, Cult
Chapter VIII Forgotten Filthy and Forlorn Truths = F, Protagonist

Chapter IX Anatomy Of Frickin’ Laser Beams = A, Cult
Chapter X Desiring Daughters, Damn The Danger = D, Mnemosyne
Chapter XI Lust, Dust, Ladies, Do Much = L, Cult
Chapter XII The Naughty Bits Of News = N, Protagonist

Chapter XIII Mornings Mourning The Moaning Mistress = M, Victim
Chapter XIV Pillow Talks Most Popular Prayers = P, Cult
Chapter XV To Jump The Jawbreaker’s Bones = J, Protagonist
Chapter XVI Yes, I’ll Rock Your World = Y, Mnemosyne

Chapter XVII The Silence Of Scream Queens = S, Protagonist

I know where I screwed up. I ask myself that every day, when is the moment my anxiety gets the best of me? I’ve come too far in my novel now; 37, 945 words. Not far enough today since at this hour, I should have 700 down, researching everything. I thought I would be done, living this way. A long time ago, to be honest. One of my motivations says, though, that a champion never stops Inspector Echo ever. The struggle is real, as the kids say. I’ve thought a lot about my sins lately and understood why so many find well Jesus. People find it too hard, but How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Inspector Echo apologies, I worry, Thy Will Be Done.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 140 ~She Loves You Not Title~

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I’m a BOSS, well not yet, I’m an author, not that either, a family man, well does my dog count and the occasional call from my mother when I “mess up” and as far as anyone else? She Loves You Not Title, but what am I now

Monday, November 18, 2019

Log 140 ~She Loves You Not Title~

Hundred And Eleventh Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that shouldn’t matter, right? You know I’m not a prince, I could see myself shouting I’m King Of The World though. Between you and me, I know I’ll never be president. One of my motivations says, work hard, play hard, stay humble. When I get married, I still plan on dancing to that song, Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Now with all this out there, today I’m Will, and I’m still learning how that’s enough, it has to be Madam Justice.

You know every Sunday I say I’m going to be a better father but am I? My dæmon is eating, he’s warm and comfy, and takes his meds. Okay, so my father would throw money at his family, does that make him the “man of the year?” When it comes to my mom, I don’t have a clue what she thinks about me these days. It could be that I’m not much of a man because of Rockford. Sooner or later, I’ll finally write down the whole story of Indiana Gone’s wedding, not tonight, though. Yeah, momma, look at me, my significant accomplishments this evening? I wrote 1,200 words for the novel, I got Alpha in TWD, and I didn’t get fired. Speaking of which do you remember some time ago, I told you or one of the girls about Chris Pratt and Passengers. SIGH as the song goes, that’s how you know you messed up, still being somewhat polite.

Am I explaining what this has to do with today’s rule, if anything, honestly? I can be a lot of things to a particular woman, but one I refuse to be is a clown. Strange that I still buy into that quote from Marilyn Monroe about making a woman laugh. Look, I’ll even go the whole gold digger route because you know I want my money. Still, I said I was leaving that girl alone, and bam there is today. Yes, excuse me for always assuming the worst of people, and the jury is still out. I only wish I could be sure about people, but I’m not even sure about my kid. Women love illusion, but if you recall when I was a kid, I wanted to be a comedian. Is a girl laughing at my truths or at the joke I may portray?

She Loves You Not Title.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 139 ~The Will Of Wage~

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The more things change, and you know the rest, finished my NaNoWriMo goal tonight, no coffee but cappuccino, still not drinking 5-Hour anything and the Day Job still sucks, but I’m writing for free. The Will Of Wage

Sunday, November 17, 2019

Log 139 ~The Will Of Wage~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what are you worth? Now I don’t want to be mean, hell when you’re waking up, you’re more drunk than mean. Okay, you can say “hell” because this post will have your Six Impossible Things. What that means is you won’t be posting it in some places. Anyway, I remember a time I was so out of it I was going to pee in the trashcan. Well, that’s something for Inspector Echo, but let’s go back to the question. Is the Day Job worth everything you do, and why won’t you show such DISCIPLINE to your craft? The time there versus what you did tonight okay.

Somebody might have the impression that you don’t want to be a writer. You’re over 35,000 words in, but what did you do at the Day Job? Honestly, if you’re going to be humiliated, you could do it from the comfort of a warm bed. I mean this right here is the dream isn’t that right? Well, give or take a few million dollars, two beautiful women on either side of you. How about a hot little wifey, tell me you’re not still thinking about “Specs?” Will Smith, another hero, put it in a song, “Girls Ain’t Nothing But Trouble.” See that you’re a nice guy, you could have gone with “Bitches Ain’t Shit.” Wondering how much both of those songs made in the time they found themselves. You got things to do, though but how about Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
    Failed

Are you honestly going to blame NaNoWriMo for another zero? You had two full days. That’s eight thousand words that means you would be at 43,000 words. Yes, I know you still hate math. How long is the dæmon on punishment, seven more days to another failure? The biggest count though besides NaNoWriMo, is nothing but Time. I know you’re tired on top of counting up deaths on TWD. The thing is you could go to bed right now; nothing is stopping you. Will, NaNoWriMo isn’t paying you a dime. How long have you been sitting on GULP? You’re here as the song goes, strictly for the love of the art, that’s passion. Wow you might even say you love yourself but look who you’re talking to, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

The Day Job pays, but you hate the people, such is The Will Of Wage.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 138 ~Will Crosses The Streams~

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There was a song that said if I could save time in a bottle, well I’d be wasting it anyway like this morning; I had two days, that could be well over 9000 thousand words for NaNoWriMo, trying to stay above the line. Will Crosses The Streams

Saturday, November 16, 2019

Log 138 ~Will Crosses The Streams~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so why not invest in Disney+, Apple TV, HBO, Netflix, etc.

If I did, I would still spend the whole morning sleeping the day away. Can I stay positive, if just for one day? Well, what have I accomplished, only walking My Dæmon? I got something in my stomach, Nachos with Queso, the breakfast of champions?

I’m not going to lie; it’s as if I’m in Death’s flow of the river like Sabriel. How I miss reading, and of course, my writing is suffering for it, Lady Lu. Connecting characters from Apocalypse Rush and The “Wrist” Of Playing Chrono. It’s like the original Star Wars trilogy with no mention of the Sith, and then oh, that’s what you call the Dark Side. Well, it’s not all bad if I can compare my piece of work to such classics. I could be crossing the line though between genius and insanity. If anything, I need to cross the line, the threshold of the bedroom door. What about a path of consciousness from between my lips? At the Day Job, I keep telling myself that a manager here or there, an employee, do cross bounds. I can’t even tell you about that right now, and why is that Lu.

“Family-Friendly,” “Decency,” and I’m starting to hate the term “Snowflake.” Of course, with my car freezing over every day, that has other connotations. How about the fact that I’m hot and cold at the same time? Wasn’t that clunky to say, but that’s the thing, everybody telling me how to write or what. Even my book characters are being quite disagreeable. I’m ready to throw my hands up, but I’m past the point of no return. I never got that phrase until I was traveling, and I haven’t been on the highway since. Could that explain how I’m feeling now, going with the flow, but I’m underwater, again like the title Sabriel. Between talking to you, I’m trying to knock out some emails, and every time the next one comes, I have to stop writing.

Wanting to write and at the same time, caught up in everything else, and I’m still sitting in bed. I’ll move when I get to a thousand words, and of course, I can’t focus on one task at a time, not me. NaNoWriMo demands The “Wrist” of Playing Chrono, not much time. Four thousand six hundred more words today, Lady Lu, Will Crosses The Streams.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 137 ~Will “Byes” A Day~

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Eric Thomas would say, “you owe you an explanation” and here it is, I got twenty-four hours, and I chose to sleep the day away and not take, hell I could even complain about the job on my kid’s nails. “Will “Byes” A Day”

Friday, November 15, 2019

Log 137 ~Will “Byes” A Day~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and to stay that way, I have to keep on my grind every day. So I ask myself today, what happened, Will? Let’s start with last night. I had finished speaking with you know who and suddenly I couldn’t post anything. I’m beginning to dislike my ISP. You can tell Lady Sophia that I’m attempting to keep myself in check for a variety of reasons. I only got around two hours of sleep last night as I wanted to figure out what the problem was and get it repaired. Didn’t I say I have the patience of a saint somewhere, Sophia?

Anyway, I go to the Day Job and guess what, the day off was back on, their fault not mine. I’m ready to attack the day; only there’s no fight, so I come back. One hour later, I’m back in bed asleep with My Dæmon, who is so confused. I am too honestly considering he was to get a nail grind, and I saw his nails afterward. Shouldn’t I be writing a review of PetSmart? I could have taken My Dæmon elsewhere, but I was looking for easy street. I couldn’t even be bothered to write my 5,000 words today because I was conked out. Hell, I have forgotten to read up on; how to jump-start a car battery SIGH. What about texting M Anime I could have at least gotten that done today? Lastly, I signed over my child for “spa treatment.” Well, at least his head isn’t messed up from whatever he was doing outside at some point.

When I was at the Day Job, what did I tell them, “bye” as soon as the opportunity arose? I said goodbye to the sun as soon as it met the sky, and of course, My Dæmon had his walk. There was a see you later to any common sense when my head hit the pillow. I am grateful, though. Everything began working again. Well, not me, I mean, at least I’m not in bed tonight, typing away. There are even more positive vibes because I can post this on Facebook. Of course, I can’t tell you the mailing list I signed up for, though. Will tomorrow be any better Lady Sophia, I have plenty of writing to do tonight.

What’s a decent night’s sleep cost; Will “Byes” A Day.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 136 ~Will Is Getting Lapped~

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One more week of “Yabbos,” but it’s November, and this isn’t Hocus Pocus or “American Beauty” but yeah let’s move onto butt stuff, well at least holding onto one, or sitting here until mine falls off but that butt she got? Will Is Getting Lapped

Thursday, November 14, 2019

Log 136 ~Will Is Getting Lapped~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana
I AM a Billionaire right now, so why am I still up? If you listened to any of my motivations, they say the wealthy rise earlier and go down later. Does that hint at some dirt, or is it me, hmm? I don’t feel that way right now, but considering No Nut November and my shower routine? Sir Mix-a-Lot is famous for saying, “I like big butts, and I cannot lie.” You know me, I am forever a breast man, which is why the majority of my fantasies have been Cowgirl based, or am I lazy?

Now can you blame me, Dirty Diana, for wanting to sit on my ass and let somebody else do the work? Hell, this week alone, I’ve lost two days off and am still keeping up with NaNoWriMo. Call me Captain America because between work and sitting on it, I got America’s Ass. Yeah, I can be as positive as I want to be; I still can’t share this conversation. “Okay,” told me once that her favorite position was fucking in someone’s lap. I’m not gonna lie. I wanted her in the center of my bed like that. Here I am still wondering why she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. Santa’s lap is acceptable, but I want a grown woman in mine, and I’m skeevy. Am I too honest tonight, well check the time, and I also finished 1300 words before all this? Once again, I have to control myself and tell you my “tamer,” fantasies, with those others…

First, without a doubt, there’s Sawa from Kite: Director’s Cut. One scene in particular when she slides onto Akai on his lap. I might as well go for that whole genre from Yellow Star to Mezzo Forte. When I first got into Hentai, I thought Natsuno from Desert Island Story X was it for me, Dirty Diana. See, I have to stop myself because I could carve through that whole genre. I don’t know what it is about holding onto a girl’s ass as she bounces or when she holds onto your knees, leaning back. I do need to get some sleep, but of course, in the morning, what I need to wake up somehow. Something had to give, no question. NaNoWriMo demands it always.

I spend most of my days running, so when I sit, Will Is Getting Lapped.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 135 ~It Bugs Me, Will

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Last week it was ants or the lack thereof and this week, butterflies, ants, and roaches oh my but I’m not talking about the actual creatures for they all exist in man, at least if you watch some weird cooking shows. “It Bugs Me, Will.”

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

Log 135 ~It Bugs Me, Will

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I don’t think much of people. If I was being honest with myself and joined the ranks of the one percent, what would I do? I help NaNoWriMo and animals. Inspector Echo, is it a sin I still owe Indiana Gone, Birthday and Wedding Gifts?

Butterflies, not the first bug you thought I would mention today. I wasn’t thinking about them myself, but now I’m feeling them. Have I ever told you that Red and Black are my battle standard? Today though, I want to burst into that song Amber. No, I should mention the last time I spoke about butterflies or a particular Pokémon to a girl, the “Rainbow?” I would do well to remember since this would cause even more trouble. Wasn’t I so “optimistic” today, though, and I do not need to be in any sense? Shouldn’t I play Chris Pratt’s part in Passengers? Only I’ll do the right thing and leave her alone. I wasn’t lying to her, though; I like how my name sounds on her lips. Cherry would have a time with this, given her particular romantic interests always.

Ants would take my mind off things, but am I trying to curse myself, happy thoughts. It’s FEAR though Inspector Echo, my anxiety and worry. I’m always on guard, and that explains why I’m holed up in bed today. How about being in bed for a different reason, and it’s no good. I’m feeling pretty “antsy,” and I’m not sure why. Well, no, I know exactly why, but so far, I can still post this if I stay on the up and up. These words like one big ant colony, and I’m trying not to bug anybody else, life goals.

Roaches can survive anything or so “THEY,” say. My day job, for example, I endure humiliation, exhaustion, and I play dead. Some pretty girl sees me, and I go scurrying all over the place. I don’t want to imagine myself as a nuisance, but isn’t that always the case. Dennis The Menace, Bran the Broken, Will the Ill, etc. Why doesn’t “Okay” talk to me anymore? When I speak to Indiana Gone, I only bring bad news. Why do I chat up some pretty girl despite everything she has going?

I’m sorry for this RAID Inspector. To be a raven, Nevermore, It Bugs Me, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 133 ~Rage Can Kill, But Who~

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I wrote a poem about RAGE once, but I think 28 Days Later, and the sequel said it so much the better than I ever could, but what I wouldn’t give for a beautiful apocalypse or how about the ability to utter NO. “Rage Can Kill, But Who?”

Monday, November 11, 2019

Log 133 ~Rage Can Kill, But Who~

Hundred And Tenth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and is this the way wrong rule for today? Hell, I’m tempted to say it’s the perfect rule for today, that, of course, disqualifies me from posting some places. Even at this moment in time, I’m mad as Hell, and I know I’m going to be exhausted in the morning. Not because I’m letting NaNoWriMo down, I kicked ass there (LANGUAGE). Would I do better to list all the things I’m not mad at tonight? My dæmon, how about my work ethic, and not you Madam Justice.

First and foremost, I hate my Day Job, with the heat from a thousand suns. You wonder why I’m not published yet because that work is burning all the pages. Do I talk about how the Truck can be overwhelming, or more to the point those damn people (LANGUAGE)? What about the shower this morning? The things I come up with, and it wasn’t like I was even remotely horny. No, I made a conscious decision. I swear that scene from a particular anime movie I won’t name. Yeah, people already think I’m a psycho or worse. Cherry might like it, though. Speaking of which, FEAR, Madam Justice. I can’t talk to specific people because of such terror. I didn’t say what needed to be said at work today. NaNoWriMo is being held up because of the FEAR of losing my position, and you know I need the money now.

I can quote Yoda, you know, fear, anger, hate, suffering, but who am I hurting? You see what time it is, but I’m still up because I’m a man of my word. Okay, so I’m a clown now too because I can’t that with a straight face. Can I tell you all the stuff I wanted to say to my boss; how many times would I have to call myself out on language. Don’t even get me started on other employees. I want the world to go away, but again I’m not crazy or suicidal. Well, if I keep having nights like this, I won’t have to worry about it. I’ll drop dead. So I can’t indulge in my self-help phase. I haven’t gotten to play Far Cry 5 or Fallout 4 any and what about the state of the real country, no politics today. It’s Veterans Day; I’m Grateful.

Rage Can Kill But Who?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 132 ~Half And Half Will~

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Like last week, time is running out, and the minimum NaNoWriMo goal is over but I wished I drank coffee or that I wasn’t mad at that 5-Hour mess, but positives and negatives, right? Half And Half Will

Sunday, November 10, 2019

Log 132 ~Half And Half Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you believe you can be too. But, you hate your day job and writing, while your purpose in life does not come quickly or cheaply. By the way, have you published GULP yet but will get to that as always. Now I mentioned believing and everything. From The Secret By Rhonda Byrne, Think and Grow Rich By Napoleon Hill speaks on having positive thoughts. Do you remember when you would read books and not only talk about them? How about when Half And Half was only a drink; you want “family-friendly” people to read this, right?

Anyway, you believe that the dead will walk the Earth. You have faith; we’re not alone in the universe. Hell here’s the big one; President Trump will know Impeachment. Okay, so here’s the point of today and the past few. The negative and the positive are dueling one another in your thoughts. Do you want some positives? You know that shirt you thought La Quinta Inn & Suites by Wyndham lost? How did that turn up in the wash? Tonight, you hit the halfway point of The “Wrist” of Playing Chrono. The ant invasion you thought had begun last night, was only a false alarm. You need to get a maid, though. Will, the other side of the coin, is this, you can’t go wasting money like that anymore. One of your cars isn’t working. Oh and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
    Failed

So much for No Nut November isn’t that right. Your inbox is growing all the more with having to write for NaNoWriMo. The Day Job is getting worse with hours. Didn’t you almost clock A&W with a box of Discovery Kids toys. What’s his face continues to be the bane of your existence in that place. Stop it right now Will you are starting to be a little unfair. TWD’s Eugene talks about what a lack of sleep will do to you, and with all your writing? If anything, I should be making another list to help me out. Funny how the NaNoWriMo list is the only one that has a chance in Hell of getting done. Good thing you met tonight’s goal before you started this, what, pep-talk? What about these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

If you can do this, well, you know what you want from a legitimate business, hmm Will Half & Half.

I Will Have No Fear