Meditation 014 ~Just Kidding Is No Excuse~

What are SOME of the worst sounds in the world? My son’s last breath. The silence when his heart stopped beating, and I came back alone. My breathing, realizing I’m alive. The alarm clock. Laughter! And then, “Just Kidding.” Just Kidding Is No Excuse

Monday, July 15 2024

Meditation 014 ~Just Kidding Is No Excuse~

Three-Hundredth And Fifty-Second Rule

Madam Justice
Rules are made to be broken… and jokes are meant to be funny. How I wish it were true; a comedian died today.

Better myself than my son. And people might think it’s funny to die for my son Braxton or to kill for him. I am/was his daddy. That’s my job, and I failed Madam. No doubt.

Braxton’s absence is a reality I wish I could turn into a joke. I wish I could jest that I’m the biggest bully and that his return is imminent. But it’s not a joke. Braxton is gone. And with him, the laughter and joy he brought. I would give anything for him to return and reclaim his place, even if it meant Virgil had to leave. Braxton might reconsider… It’s a cruel joke, this reality.

That’s what I called it when I heard Braxton’s voice tell me to save Virgil’s life. Virgil must think his life is a joke, and soon, he’ll have a better human rescue him. Poor Virgil.

When I’m not telling Virgil, No, no, no, no, no, no, no! I’m asking him if he is kidding. I take him outside four times a day. We’re out there for twenty minutes. Only for him to decide to “go” in the house. And every time I lay down… I swear, Madam. Braxton would cuddle close to ensure I was safe and then take his post on the corner of the bed to protect me. I know Virgil is not Braxton reborn because Virgil jumps off the bed and leaves.

The demands of my Day Job are like a joke, forcing me to bend to its will. I look at my schedule for this week and the next, and I wonder, where’s my relief? That’s why I’m reaching out now.

Time may be on my side, but the reality is that I’m in a desperate financial situation. I’m left with no choice but to plead for more work hours. It’s not a joke, Madam. I need money if Virgil and I are to have a meal after today, Wednesday, July 10, 2024. And to earn it, I should write, which also requires some financial investment.

Well, if that website I found is any indication. I could even attend Camp NaNoWriMo.

Now, that’s the biggest joke of all. My existence. Every morning, I wake up Madam telling myself I’m going to Live Brave, Do Better, Be A Man. The Man in the Mirror is a bully!

And I’m just kidding when I fail, like today or Monday. But no, Dear Madam, Just Kidding Is No Excuse.

“A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1261 Days Without B III, Day 702 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Log 147 ~Laughter Shouldn’t Have To Hurt~

Wouldn’t it be comical if it weren’t so sad that I could have finished my book going on two days now, but I treat “my life” as though it were a joke, well like my writing, and who am I hurting? Laughter Shouldn’t Have To Hurt

Monday, November 25, 2019

Log 147 ~Laughter Shouldn’t Have To Hurt~

Hundred And Twelfth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I won’t accept being a clown. There was a period in my life well, yeah, I wanted to be a comedian. Why you might ask, comedians tell the truth. It could be because I was confronting one of my biggest fears. You can speak your story and avoid hurting people. Of course, you know, causing others pain is a mixed bag for me. For the sake of any “publicity” today. The whole truth and nothing but Madam Justice, I’ve always been the joke. It’s the difference between being Dr. Frankenstein and Frankenstein’s monster. People get confused.

You see, I laugh, but it’s like A&W trying to figure me out today. Tony Baker is hilarious, TWD Reactors bring me joy, my dæmon is a Riot Maker. I’m grateful that I felt some genuine giggles today. At the same time, I had to put on my joker’s masks to keep from crying. I hardly ever go back and read yesterday’s gripe, but I notice they are starting to sound the same. As if I’d hear it, my ear is acting up. I won’t put such ideas out into the universe again, but what did Connie say about a SUPERPOWER? I don’t like the sound of my voice, and my laughter is only another sound because I lack the right words. Take The “Wrist” Of Playing Chrono; for example. My words are supposed to mean something more, Madam Justice.

When I hear people’s laughter, nine out of ten times, it’s not a good thing. Lucy fools Charlie Brown all the time, and sure she finds it hilarious. Why can’t I ever remember her laughing at him when it comes to kicking footballs? People laugh at me to avoid telling the truth and sad to admit, but that makes me sound like them. How about the number of times we text LOL as some qualifying protection filter? One more way of saying “like,” and I’m sure I’ve said that somewhere throughout our time together. I almost forgot about my biggest pet peeve when it comes to laughter; the phrase “just kidding.” Ellen DeGeneres said anyone saying that after hurting someone else. Well, they don’t know how to kid. I’ve laughed at people, but the world is confusing, Family Guy Charlie.

The comedian’s dead, if I hurt people I’m honest too, Laughter Shouldn’t Have To Hurt.

I Will Have No Fear