Tale 142 ~Laughter Isn’t The ONLY Medicine~

“If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything,” that’s my only interest in Laughter. B made everyone laugh, including me. And I looked after him for fifteen years. What’s Laughter done for me lately? “Laughter Isn’t The ONLY Medicine.”

Monday, November 20, 2023

Tale 142 ~Laughter Isn’t The ONLY Medicine~

Three-Hundredth And Eighteenth Rule

Madam Justice

Rules Are Made To Be Broken… Hell! Plain ole words, too. The comedian is dead. My son. And FTWD. We are the dead.

I’m not trying to be comedic, clever, or cool. That’s for damn sure. And you know what I’m not cool with? Laughter. “I smile… I laugh… I rejoice this day.” A lot of days, Madam. Back in the day, I wanted to be a comic. I wrote comics for… let’s say a few weeks, Madam. Not the funny kind. But I didn’t start hating Laughter until E-Day number seven. Hmm? I don’t remember, and I don’t want to. Every day we move past E-Day thirty-nine, I come to another truth. I wasted “my” life. Um, existence. And the comedian is still alive and well. Nothing will be bringing Braxton back. And “Fear The Walking Dead” isn’t officially dead and buried, as I missed one episode.

How embarrassing. Braxton would give me one of his patented looks. Every Sunday, I chose my love of the dead over him. And yet I decided to kill him on a Sunday. What! The Walking Dead was on hiatus. Oh! You mean the whole “I killed my best friend” thing. Braxton had a dark sense of humor like his Dad. Again, I remember him giving me those… AHEM “blah, is you crazy?” But he never laughed. He would smile, remain silent, and then sleep. And that was my solace. My cure to every day. Let the people laugh at me. Madam, what else is there for me if it isn’t my son sleeping or guarding me while I sleep? I really want to know. You?

While I’m busy singing one of Jodeci’s hits. “Come And Talk To Me,” for those unaware of the classics. How about “Let’s Talk About Sex?” If you’re wondering why I’m late talking to you, Madam. If it weren’t for the humiliations galore at the Day Job, I would say I hate the implication of “We Don’t Have To Take Our Clothes Off” right now. So, without my Braxton, I’m left with sex and music. And both can be funny in their way, too. As a thirty-nine-year-old man, it’s hilarious that I have to tell succubus stories to sleep. Laughter is one of those medications where the side effects are worse than the disease. Won’t laugh, smile, make a funny face… Laughter Isn’t The ONLY Medicine

1023 Days Without B III, Day 464 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,

Saga 318 ~Laughter Is Camouflage For Language~

What’s so funny? You wouldn’t get it? In total transparency, I’ve never seen “Joker.” And I hate clowns. Explains how I feel looking in the mirror. Or at the news and anything on any day. Yet I laugh like an idiot. Laughter Is Camouflage For Language

Monday, May 15, 2023

Saga 318 ~Laughter Is Camouflage For Language~

Two-Hundred and Ninety-First Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Yes, I laugh every time I say that. How I hate laughter, but we’ll get to that.

When I was a child, once upon a time… I wanted to be a comedian. Gallagher, to be specific. If anything, I wanted to smash things. Hulk Smash? My favorite Marvel hero, next to the Black Panther. Of course, I relate to him. Intelligent black man with lots of cash. Anyway, speaking of smashing. “Sex is a joke in heaven?” That’s from the movie Dogma. Is sex funny? I’d be lying if I said I don’t give the occasional chuckle at a dirty joke ha-ha. And I was saying today as I spoke to “Dear Future Wife.” Tuesday, May 9, 2023, so yes, I’m time traveling. Okay, so I was saying how I use the word boobies and even Yabbos. And what about my Braxton?

I would laugh my butt off when he’d go to town on one of his toys. His poor Aunt Carolina. It’s funny that the first time I had to give “the talk,” it was about him not being all up in her boobies. Braxton did plenty to make me laugh. Tears of joy, Madam? Umm… Well, Virgil hasn’t made me laugh at all. Not that I recall, anyway. But it’s funny that with all the pictures I have of my son. The first video I do, the phone… Virgil gallery. Madam, am I growing up and forgetting about my B. Never, his human huffs hilariously! I do after every encounter at the Day Job. And you know why that is. Because I can’t talk ever

As I swear up and down, AHEM… the effing comedian is effing dead, Madam. Braxton? The truth is he’s dead. And the truth is the funniest thing of all. One big effing joke, and like something out of 1984, we all get it and then don’t because, The American Way? Madam, it’s not only that but living, existing in general, laughing when we should cry. Hell! We do both. And I don’t mean to be all political now, but I saw this video today and:

Is existence funny? And I never learned to deal with the heckle. Hell! I never asked for it. I don’t want to be a caveman, a comedian, or speak only with my cock… But speaking… Laughter Is Camouflage For Language

834 Days Without B III, Day 275 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,

Saga 283 ~Your Punchline Means My Punches~

“Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth,” I believe that was Tyson. One more reason I love B. He didn’t talk much, and he barked at everyone else. Then there are earbuds. But I talk to myself… oh no! Your Punchline Means My Punches.

Monday, April 10, 2023

Saga 283 ~Your Punchline Means My Punches~

Two-Hundred and Eighty-Fourth Rule

NOTE: I wrote about this effing rule twice! So much for my focus and concentration!

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… Now that’s funny. But I can buy more than $10.00 Walmart earbuds with that money. Work harder?

I rather hurt my ears than my hands today. However, considering what time it is. I did both this morning. Must have. I punched out a clock or went deaf. Who knows. Well, Braxton would or does… I’ve talked about the looks he’d give me; what I wouldn’t give for one of those looks now. And I try to recreate them with Virgil. He’s not Triple B, reincarnated. Oh, I’m reading yet another book on dying fur babies. Find that funny, huh? Not you, of course, Madam. You and all the girls know how I feel about my son. And with everything people have made fun of me about. Even the universe knows that my B III. He’s off-limits. Unheard, unseen… humor; why so serious

Only there’s plenty to make fun of me about. Though if we’re talking about something like last night… I’ll say I’m more sad and pathetic than angry. If Cherry understood. Okay, last night I spent more money, $35.00, to see some titties. Online strippers (sigh). There’s always the fact that I’m begging to see Cherry’s yabbos and M Anime. Haven’t I said before men and women can’t be friends? Friends, but there’s always, um, desire…

Hell! Braxton was my best friend, and I effed him worse than anybody. I killed him.

Anyway, there was this other girl who reminded me somewhat of cuckolding. Maybe that was General Hospital when Elizabeth was sleeping with Lucky’s half-brother. Getting way off the subject… I don’t care for laughter.

So what joke gets me to punch someone in the face? I’m surprised I still have the Day Job for one. Again I killed my son. Euthanasia. I don’t need the cops outside the door like last night. Well, that was more Fire Department and an Ambulance for the neighbors.

Punishment for what happened to Braxton. I still deserve it. But yes, I’m frightened (sigh). In a way, Madam, I’m so busy hurting myself in this way or that. The Cherry Collision or denying myself release from pornographic passions… It’s easy to get angry. Rageful. Madam, this existence is a joke. And when other people remind me of it… Madness. That’s why I like hearing about “My Dick.” No Joke? Your Punchline Means My Punches

799 Days Without B III, Day 240 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,

Saga 262 ~Your Punchline Means My Punches~

I’m going to break a hand someday. Will it be on the shower tile, a Day Job locker, or will I finally go all out? Everything happens for a reason. When my ears were stopped up, and I couldn’t hear people’s jokes? Your Punchline Means My Punches.

Monday, March 20, 2023

Saga 262 ~Your Punchline Means My Punches~

Two-Hundred and Eighty-Forth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. And hopefully, I don’t get as raw-dogged as all the others. Always practice safe sex, guys ha-ha.

Why am I laughing? For all the people that make fun of me, you know who’s the worst. I think Taylor Swift had it right “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” Braxton’s knowledge. That’s why he would stomp on my head every morning. Oh, look, here’s my tears for this morning. All I have to do is remember that his purpose was to protect, save, and love. And if punching me in the face with those little legs did the trick. Well, then do it. My Braxton. While I’m all in a musical mood, “It’s no surprise to me, I am my own worst enemy.” Braxton protected me from bullies. The two biggest being my old man and me.” The mirror Madam… SIGH

Nah! “I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror.” Hah! Do I not want to eff Taylor Swift anymore? Trust me, Madam. We’ll get to that. Trump was staring at the sun. He’s one sad joke. But I’m usually up before the sun. Even if it’s not at 4AM as I planned. Now if I were a better man, I would change “sun” to “son.” Braxton’s eyes served as a mirror. Only within them, I saw a much better man. Somebody I wanted to be. Not now. Every day if I don’t start the day thinking, “my son is dead,” it’s, “I’ll join him, my B III.” It wouldn’t be a punch in the gut to anyone. Then again, no more jokes.

Punchlines! And here’s another one, Madam. The phone has become the sun. Oh, the light. And I spend at least a half hour punching at the bedsheets. Wayward dick Madam. Staring at orbs, I want more than any sun. Those are called breasts, tits, yabbos, fun bags, dirty pillows, etc. To think of such a release Madam. But instead, I get so angry. Please! Not at women. It’s the fact that I have to punch into the Day Job, and for what now, hmm? It was wanting to throw punches in that Hell. Even after saying the comedian is dead. Myself. But no! I let those bastards’ punchlines go unpunched, and Braxton paid the price. Virgil’s no joke, me neither. Your Punchline Means My Punches

778 Days Without B III, Day 219 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,

Log 147 ~Laughter Shouldn’t Have To Hurt~

Wouldn’t it be comical if it weren’t so sad that I could have finished my book going on two days now, but I treat “my life” as though it were a joke, well like my writing, and who am I hurting? Laughter Shouldn’t Have To Hurt

Monday, November 25, 2019

Log 147 ~Laughter Shouldn’t Have To Hurt~

Hundred And Twelfth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I won’t accept being a clown. There was a period in my life well, yeah, I wanted to be a comedian. Why you might ask, comedians tell the truth. It could be because I was confronting one of my biggest fears. You can speak your story and avoid hurting people. Of course, you know, causing others pain is a mixed bag for me. For the sake of any “publicity” today. The whole truth and nothing but Madam Justice, I’ve always been the joke. It’s the difference between being Dr. Frankenstein and Frankenstein’s monster. People get confused.

You see, I laugh, but it’s like A&W trying to figure me out today. Tony Baker is hilarious, TWD Reactors bring me joy, my dæmon is a Riot Maker. I’m grateful that I felt some genuine giggles today. At the same time, I had to put on my joker’s masks to keep from crying. I hardly ever go back and read yesterday’s gripe, but I notice they are starting to sound the same. As if I’d hear it, my ear is acting up. I won’t put such ideas out into the universe again, but what did Connie say about a SUPERPOWER? I don’t like the sound of my voice, and my laughter is only another sound because I lack the right words. Take The “Wrist” Of Playing Chrono; for example. My words are supposed to mean something more, Madam Justice.

When I hear people’s laughter, nine out of ten times, it’s not a good thing. Lucy fools Charlie Brown all the time, and sure she finds it hilarious. Why can’t I ever remember her laughing at him when it comes to kicking footballs? People laugh at me to avoid telling the truth and sad to admit, but that makes me sound like them. How about the number of times we text LOL as some qualifying protection filter? One more way of saying “like,” and I’m sure I’ve said that somewhere throughout our time together. I almost forgot about my biggest pet peeve when it comes to laughter; the phrase “just kidding.” Ellen DeGeneres said anyone saying that after hurting someone else. Well, they don’t know how to kid. I’ve laughed at people, but the world is confusing, Family Guy Charlie.

The comedian’s dead, if I hurt people I’m honest too, Laughter Shouldn’t Have To Hurt.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 270 ~Let’s Have The Noise~

Be quiet, shut up, that’s enough noise and isn’t it a dog’s duty to warn his human, but I can take his barking a lot better than the words of most people. He’s indeed his father’s son. Let’s Have The Noise

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Lesson 270 ~Let’s Have The Noise~

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Fine Today but do you think I will tell anyone; oh sure my fingers hitting these keys, the way I groan when my dog wants me to wake-up and live, the way my heart sounds like thunder whenever the phone rings or there’s a knock upon my chamber door.

Hell sometimes I think I’m turning the pages too loud, which is just another reason I use my Kindle; a small excuse, I can carry my library anywhere but still those damn pages in traditional books. How about the words that I don’t say out loud but are bold on the covers, and even my fashion sense, I find red to be a loud color, but black isn’t supposed to speak… did that sound racist, when you think about it, yeah, people of color aren’t allowed to speak against the status quo. Something else I’ve noticed is I shuffle my feet; don’t I have the strength to lift them anymore other than heading up the stairs to paradise… my bed?

Is it my pride, I think words should have such power and when I speak men tremble, honestly ask my general manager, why do my answers frighten him so; I’m a fan of the second amendment but even more so of the first. Inspector Echo you have heard me say again I do such damage to myself before I ever consider hurting another, don’t I see my words do the most damage. If anything I am the walking embodiment of “The Sound of Silence,” and we know how people can’t take that, they are much too afraid of the truths they will hear, only aren’t I telling myself stories nightly?

My gravest sin today is not giving them forgiveness, their absolution, as though “just kidding” has ever been a salve to me; haven’t I said this before, that laughter perhaps is the worst sound. No one has seen or heard my tears in ages and they never will again as the song goes “but to cry in front of you, that’s the worst thing I could do,” so I’m not that great a sinner am I Inspector Echo, you think?

So I ask forgiveness first and foremost for myself, haven’t I said the point is to make noise, and I’m still so afraid, yes I am scared to be; I’m sorry I can endure the silence like any other pain, and I won’t give that pain to others. I’m sorry I won’t give them what they ask for; saying no to, Let’s Have The Noise.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 050 ~A Comedian Died Today~

Bad days and a Mad Season, the sun isn’t helping, if this happened tomorrow I might actually say it was something astrological but no just people being people and me being me and we all need to stop. “A Comedian Died Today” then again?

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Lesson 050 ~A Comedian Died Today~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, I Will Have No Fear, You Are Not A Caveman, Now The Work Can Begin, yes it lacks the zing of the motto from “1984” but consider them part of my new philosophy on life. Speaking of life, “Marquis de Joker” is not dead but that smiling, scared idiot, that I was today surely should be, again who am I angrier at, myself or the General Manager, freaking “Big Brother”.

“War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.”
― Winston Smith, George Orwell, 1984

I’m a dominant Lu but today all I can think about is being punished for my fear; I remember when I was a boy in school when you got into trouble they would make you write sentences a few hundred times. How else can I do it, drugs have been hit and miss with me and they don’t solve the real problem, I have to fight this fear on my own. What do I have to be afraid of My Lady, tell me, what do I have to do to be rid of it; I swear I’m trying, but when the moment comes what happens…

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson

Am I now… I am no one for faith but I want to be as Morpheus said “truthfully unafraid” and I didn’t feel any of that today, I allowed myself to feel inferior and weak, who needs white supremacy when I do this to myself all the time. I was disappointed with myself because of two stupid men… well one of them was me and the other was “Big Brother”; I’d say I can’t wait until our next huddle but for what, so I can shrink away and just become more insane. Fear paralyzes you, Luna, I see it, I feel it, I can’t move, I can’t think, and in the eyes of everyone you just shrink, but more over I was stuck.

“You are not stuck” Ezekiel

I think I finally see what one of my coworkers was saying, I’m always running, isn’t that a bit of a contradiction, I feel stuck but then again I must learn to stand and fight. Yes, I said fight, not with fists yet… but with every breath, every word, every look, which leads me to my next new rule Luna.

“Now I bet you niggas do think y’all white. College don’t mean shit. Y’all niggas and you gonna be niggas forever… just like us. Niggas.

You’re not niggas.” School Daze

You are not a caveman, you are not inferior, you have a voice so goddammit use it, and if that means going completely Newspeak on your vocabulary then so be it because you are not so clown. Yet another reason I’m not losing the pen name because I think I’m hilarious, what was I thinking today, if we had a huddle “I have little patience for people and no patience for stupid people” how’s that?

“To say “I love you” one must know first how to say the “I”.”
― Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead

I am better than the man I was today, without a doubt, I may think all those people at work are stupid but at the end of the day this is about me, how I want to be and while I’m finding so much power in that word how about words I shouldn’t say any more. Hey, Sup, anything that’s not even a word at all just a grunt, and while silence beats stupidity I have a voice, my voice and I could barely hear myself. What about the laughter… I explained once before how I got the name Marquis de Joker because the truth and a joke are synonymous.

“When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” 1 Corinthians 13:11

This is some truth for you, again a contradiction, you know my fandoms but part of the reason I behave as such is that maybe I still think of myself as a child with no place, what is a child’s word worth? People get drunk, get high, I remember a few trips to the dentist office where I would say whatever and not think about it, we are so much like children that people can laugh at the truths we speak, or in my case, I laugh before to keep from saying them. It’s like a virus, “Indiana Gone” laughs all the time and I can understand why but the thing is a man has to be a man, and I should be.

This morning started out with such promise, and then I left the cave, no I didn’t I carried it with me, I allowed myself to be thought of as a child, to behave as a child, to be disappointed in myself because I gave a rat’s ass, what Big Brother thought of me. A caveman goes out and does what must be done but that’s survival, not living, not evolution.
“I can shoot the wings off the back of the fly!
I’m ready!” Wanted (2008)

Now the work can begin, that’s evolution, that’s courage, manhood, fearlessness but I still have my day job but I almost did it. I was thinking about all the things I wanted to tell you Lu and my boss came in and I had one word written down, do you know what it was… “I” all I needed to add was “Quit” and there’s freedom.

That man, that ass clown asked me, when I didn’t jump at his offer for more hours, did I have another job, what else did I have to do and do you know what I said? “I gotta see about a girl” would have been nice don’t you think, “Good Will Hunting” and all that again I have to learn how to do that thinking in real time. No, I told him, I’m trying to write, does that make me a writer, am I a writer now, wouldn’t be the first time I crossed swords with someone over my budding career.

It only got worse from there when I confused “stop on a dime” and “on the fly” thanks to my social anxiety, you know what helps with that, being mad as hell, one of the reasons I like the Dark Side of The Force, fear, and anger right? If that’s what it takes Luna, I told Indiana Gone that too, at least with my anger, I know exactly where I stand the only thing now is to turn it, less at me and more for them, haven’t we talked about my temper and my hate? I’m the one who’s dying though and today more than ever showed that while that sniveling, shit for brains I was this morning deserves it, “I’M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!” Network

“Once more into the breach, my friends, once more. We’ll close the wall with our dead. In peace, nothing so becomes a man as modesty and humility, but when the blast of war blows in our ears, then imitate the action of the tiger, summon up the blood, disguise fair nature with rage and lend the eye a terrible aspect.” Kevin Costner, The Postman (1997)

So what have I learned today, that maybe I needed my ass kicked, maybe I needed this humiliation, I need people like “Miss Seasons”, Big Brother, a host of others to laugh and snicker, to reject, to criticize, to ridicule, I need all that noise to truly start and hear myself, heal myself. I Will Have No Fear, You Are Not A Caveman, Now The Work Can Begin, I don’t mean this to be funny anymore, because didn’t you hear Lu, A Comedian Died Today.

I Will Have No Fear
You Are Not A Caveman
Now The Work Can Begin


Reputed Undisputed

Back when I was finding myself or am I still trying and I pretty much hated Hardee’s at the time which is a long story, or a short one since I only worked there one day, anxiety can be Hell. Reputed Undisputed, as if anyone could see the real me

Am I still STANDING?
Never landing
Forgotten how to fly
Wonder why
Forever damned
I don’t understand
“Too stupid”
You said it

Who am I today?
A fool a coward
Scream it louder
And laugh hardy
Because day one
Who I was

The VIEWS that are expressed here
I’ve been hearing for years
And everyone
For once the world agrees
I’d fall to my knees
If God’s opinion
Wasn’t like his minions

I am mistaken
A mistake
That no one should make
Not a failure but a fail
Doomed to Hell
From what
No buts

I’m elected
The worst
Your curse
Not worth
My birth
And I can’t make a second one
So I don’t

And so my reputation
The thoughts of a nation
My life today, my repute
Why fight it; it is the truth

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Mime No More

This is what happens when you speak; I mean my penname is “Marquis de Joker” yeah I’m a clown but I don’t have any jokes, I am the joke, makes me a mime. Mime No More… might find out Saturday, my writing was certainly a joke with HR, maybe.

And he would have been sorry
if he could get a grip
of his love-struck heart; boring
But a pink slip
is gruesome and gory
This is it

With his name on the dotted line
He would walk right out the door
Or he would pretend this time
Only what’s the truth there for
He’ll ask God once more

right, he was too damn loud
Talked at all, big whoops
Because he’s a clown and how
For just one big group
Mankind… and he was bound

To want to be one of you
Because of “her”
Pretend, that’s what they do
Wouldn’t you rather…
Well it doesn’t matter; he told the truth
Why was there laughter

if he wasn’t funny
Not enough or too much
Well anyway there goes the money
Where is the love
Suppose he should die really
Because what’s to become should he see

It’s all there in black and white
Line by line and they didn’t have to find
pencil, paper, evidence in sight
Can’t you see his crime?
Guess it wasn’t very bright
There goes his job of being a mime
Sorry is the word that never comes out right

Copyright © 2015 Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.