Log 335 ~Drink Your T Will~

I could never be “Family-Friendly” enough *shudders* for Sesame Street. However, I did write a novel based on twenty letters of the alphabet, and this was before I heard of Nier: Automata. What’s the truth of all this, though. Drink Your T Will

Sunday, May 31, 2020

Log 335 ~Drink Your T Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now or whatever Sesame Street is worth. This is going to be another talk brought to you by the letter T. Last week I had lots of… TROUBLE with my words. TERRIFYING TENURE, TRYING TIMES, TEMPTING TITTIES TRUE.

TROUBLE is my middle name, well more like “troubles,” but don’t ask the government that. Hell, it might be time for you to change your name. Yeah, I know, look at the schedule, and you would be fonder of the F Word I know. You’re in trouble, I get it. TERRIFYING, I know, and I wish I could tell you that you don’t have to go. I could do that as much as I could tell you that you’re a trillionaire. Do you know there is no such person that can claim that title? All you want is a day that you don’t live in such terror. Not this week. TENURE sigh. I saved you the trouble of being stupid by looking up, on this Friday morn “Does the Day Job have tenure. Of course, the Manager was saying you’ve been there so long friend.

TIMES, whether it be getting up in the morning, the day, and your writing. Time Has Come Today as the song goes, so what are you going to do about it? I can guess because I’ve been in your shoes. Yes, I wish I could stop thinking about Shoes and Home & Kids. TRYING, but it never works out, does it? Right now, I’m “working from home,” which means I lacked the strength to even get out of bed. Of course, My Dæmon had his walk. Are you going to be a better father than me, well Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Completed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making My Bed, Every Day This Week
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late by Colleen Hoover
    Failed

TRUE, I completed half the list. I know you’re asking yourself, how do I expect you to get the other three done. Do I still hold much hope for the future, the one you’re about to take over today? You don’t want my real answer now, do you? I would be asking for a miracle. TITTIES are such, and I know that’s Dirty Diana’s port of call. I’m still angry that I wasn’t courageous enough to post that picture. You know the one I’m hinting at… Rebecca, Anaa/Alissa, Niquee, and Eileen Homer drool. Speaking of which these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Five “GULP” Poems Daily
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Not Losing The Day Job Now
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late by Colleen Hoover

Tempting to stay as you are, Drink Your T Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 334 ~Will The Track Star~

Didn’t I say don’t ask me about the Day Job? I asked the question, what would happen if I stood up? The answer, have a Panic Attack and run out the door. Is that what I’m calling it now, thank you WebMD because it beats cowardice. Will The Track Star

Saturday, May 30, 2020

Log 334 ~Will The Track Star~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how much is Usain Bolt making? I suppose I chose the right profession if I became the next J.K. Rowling snickers. How about E.L. James, Stephen King, Tillie Cole, or my latest “obsession” Eric Vall? Well, did I even write to Lady Sophia all that happened at the Day Job on Tuesday? Let’s see if I can DUMB it down. On Tuesday the 26th, I asked the General Manager what I should do? She told me to process Amazon Returns. Ten minutes later, I had a Panic Attack and left.

What did we say about checking WebMD? Hell, what did we decide on making excuses? The biggest question is, what am I going to do with my life? As the song goes, I can’t live my life this way. What, in fear, am I afraid? How come I’m scared so GODDAM ALWAYS! Pardon the language Lady Luna, but this isn’t like The Eve of a Cherry. Not like I kept track of all the F-Bombs in that. Speaking of which, it’s Cherry’s Birthday on the 28th. Only did I mention her in any conversations before this one. Happy Birthday, Cherry. There’s so much to keep track of, My Lady. That’s how I was feeling Tuesday. My emotions were shot to Hell besides my fear and my anger. It was like being back in school, and the two bullies have my cap throwing it between them. Yeah, so I like hoodies.

So how do I feel right now? Why don’t you tell me, Lady Luna, how one schedules a mental breakdown? Do I talk about today, being Wednesday? The rest of the week, or what should be Saturday? Now my stomach’s in knots, the week hopefully employed, Saturday angry. No wonder I’m so tired? During the day, I’m running, from my father, from the Day Job, and even my bed. Of course, I’m sitting here right now talking to you. You could say I’m living the dream, beautiful girl in my bed, conversation, a good song. Dreaming… I have to fill my head with everything from well all the above. Money, writers I’ve read, excuses, music, Jeff Daniels, birthdays, Bobby Hill, more. I track everything because, in my real life, we’re just Dancing In The Dark.

Or running my Lady Luna, wouldn’t you say. Tired, Scared of Will The Track Star.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 333 ~Will’s Soggy Runaway Letter~

A Twist With My “Anxiety.” Sorry that song Twist In My Sobriety has been playing in my head a while. I didn’t work at Arby’s or Wendy’s long enough to have a leaving song. With Target, it was “Marissa Flashback.” Will’s Soggy Runaway Letter in retail

Friday, May 29, 2020

Log 333 ~Will’s Soggy Runaway Letter~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I better be if this keeps up. Begin at the start, but you know I’m no one for writing rules. Okay, so today is actually Tuesday, May 26, so yeah, you’ll read about this, three days into the future. Do I even have a future… we’ll have to see sometime this week, won’t we? So I’ve never gotten around to writing a suicide note, never written a resignation. I’m sure it’s a sin I’ve never written a thank you card. There’s never a time right, or I’m always busy. Stuffing bags, balling fists, writing you.

It started with a written schedule, “Operations.” I have no clue what that is even after eight years. If anything, I wrote it off as an easy day. It wasn’t Home & Kids or Shoes. STUPID is determined to take the “Number One Spot” as the song goes. Now I was STUPID, which was enough, but I made it to heights unimaginable. I finished “organizing” bath towels and asked the General Manager where to next. Well, she said Amazon Returns. Oh, the things I’ve bought off Amazon, but I’ve never wanted to work there. The nice woman at the desk explains it to me and what happened next? Arby’s for one day, Wendy’s another, and Target, I absolutely refused. Lady Sophia, this is against every motivation, every speaker, and my life plans but ahem. I CAN’T breathes two little words.

Why not one word, ANXIETY. It was overwhelming Lady Sophia. Hell, I push buttons all the time like right now. With a push, I CAN build A Whole New World, believe in myself there. Blow it up if I need to, but in reality, all I did was run. As fast as I could go. However, there was also ANGER. I was DUMB enough to ask the boss a question. Yes, I do have a thesaurus My Lady, but that’s not the point. I stood there and let her say whatever she wanted. I sit here now angry for my running. Of course, I could go Fear leads to Anger. For now, I’m attempting to use the Anger to mask the fear. I’ve been trying for days but that cue Reboot song the FIREWALL came crumbling down today. In sweat, spit, and soggy rainy weather.

No tears, this isn’t goodbye but Will’s Soggy Runaway Letter.

To Will’s Most Hated Words:

  1. Stupid
  2. Skeevy
  3. Fear
  4. Anxiety
  5. Merge
  6. Happy
  7. Family-Friendly
  8. Just Kidding
  9. Tease
  10. Freak
  11. Lazy
  12. Sucks

I Will Have No Fear…

Log 332 ~Breast To Come Will~

I’m a simple kinda man but maybe not as the song goes, because do you know what I want more than bucks, bullion, and bottled water though that might be making a come back if things get better. “Breast To Come Will.”

Thursday, May 28, 2020

Log 332 ~Breast To Come Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m paying for anyone’s boob job. Not even Dennis Hof was that generous. As much as I respect the man, I don’t know whether to believe him or Cami Parker, but I’m not giving a book review. Well, maybe a bit on Succubus Lord but not really. You see, I’m one of those people that believe everything happens for a reason. I can’t tell you why I’m into brunettes or the baby doll look of “The Innocence Of Youth,” “Daddy’s Little Doll.” There’s something about BREASTS.

Well more the lack of Tits, Jugs, Knockers. Cans, Dirty Mom Tits, etc. Only this morning, I was bringing up girls with zero to minor boobs. Isn’t it ironic that a girl with huge melons makes me dream of girls with none? Don’t ask me what it is. I mean simply put I’ve always liked Rebecca, Anaa/Alissa, Niquee, and Eileen’s bodies. Remind me, with all my billions to take a trip to Russia. I hate Trump, know nothing about Putin, but I love Yabbos of all shapes and sizes. My son is the same way, four legs and all. I even had to have a talk with him. To keep him off Indiana Gone’s pair at one point. I miss Karlee Grey’s as well. Though being honest, I let my Onlyfans lapse without a second thought. It’s the breasts I almost see or never; I miss the most. Cherry can tell you something about that.

Is that why I’m all into Call me a Legend. I know Dirty Diana. I’m still playing that knowing I’ll never see tits, virtual or otherwise still. It’s like a nicotine patch for smokers. The game gives me something else to do besides salivate. You don’t know how HARD it is to write about one of my favorite subjects in the world. Something so soft and then when you get to have fun with them. Anyway, as the song goes ahem, Diamonds and guns, DIAMONDS And GUNS as Call me a Legend has plenty of.

Only you know I’ll never quit huge Dirty Pillows. Yes, I want to fuck Carrie too, Chloë Grace Moretz edition. Her’s aren’t huge, but Boobalicious/Milk Junkie, whoa Mama. Here I thought I’d mention more Succubus Lord. Succubi, Superbia, Libidine, and Cupiditas. Boobies everywhere Dirty Diana the Breast To Come Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 331 ~The Writes Of Will~

I keep telling myself that writing is going to save me. One of my books, perhaps? Maybe someone will finally discover my blog and not think of me as a psychopath. For now, it’s a note by the time clock. The Writes Of Will

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Log 331 ~The Writes Of Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and lie or not, I don’t want to be right now; lying. I mean, I don’t want to be jealous, flushed with cash, or sick. If you’re wishing for a goodnight’s sleep Inspector Echo, don’t check your Day Job before bed. I swear my “best” writing never happens at night. Now I know this is Lady Sophia’s calling. Only in a month or so, I’ll be celebrating my return to writing aka Lesson 001 ~Look Who Grossed Up~. I haven’t thought about that “Basic Bitch” in forever but as Herger the Joyous in The 13th Warrior:

“It’s all right, little brother… there are more!” ― Herger the Joyous, The 13th Warrior

More women… you have no idea how difficult it was not to use another “W.” Indeed, more words, more wickedness. So why didn’t I, you ask. Well, I know my Bible, Miss. I’m a man of God without a savior, as a particular song alluded to. I still pray for my son every day. Speaking of words that remind me, revile me or give me regrets, what is it about a “concept” like DAY? I knew a girl named “Day.” How I still love Rainey Summer Day, from The Five by Lily White. Only it’s like my addiction asks, “what will we do today?” After Class Lesson, Anna Vlasova/Alissa, and Eileen Kelly, aka Dawn Lora McKay in The Eve of a Cherry. Oh yeah, what about my novel? Am I ashamed that I use girls I know in my writing? Upset, I killed off, “Dawnie?” That Cherry inspired it, and I haven’t spoken to her?

“For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness.” Psalm 84:10, the Bible

All I write about, I lose. The Law of Attraction being what it is, I should watch my tongue. Hell, I should watch my time considering the Day Job. One more piece of writing I have to do. Home and Kids, Shoes, my schedule, I only have two write one word. NO, or as the song goes, Hell Naw! Isn’t that what I always say when it comes to writing book reviews? I’ve only realized now I said I love Rainey and the book in general. What about Raphael and Succubus Lord? I am ashamed of the things that I’m not writing today. Inspector Echo, I am SORRY that I ruined my night. Forgive me for now hating the Basic Bitch. I apologize for my views on women and not doing better for my son.

Defending The Writes Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 330 ~Silence Of The Will~

I would like for a woman to tell me she loves me, well besides my mother, or my grandmother’s dog way back in “MY” day. The question is, would I ever get such words out myself, especially with everything going on. “Silence Of The Will”

Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Log 330 ~Silence Of The Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, do me a favor and ask me how. On one side of the coin, I’m like Yuri Orlov. I never want to keep what I do away from you. If you look at the other I’m Andy Dufresne, I’m a hard man to know. I’ve never seen The Silence of the Lambs, I hear it’s classic.

Have I scared you yet? We’ve discussed things like this from time to time, haven’t we? Pillow talk, like how I can’t stand most crime dramas like that. Give me zombies, sci-fi, sex, as the song goes “Gimme fuel, Gimme fire, Gimme that which I desire. I want to talk to you. At the same time, I want to be quiet, not mad, not upset, not lost. Only to have the silence like some anime character, or like one of those Japanese series. I want to lie in your lap like something out of Gokusen, perhaps. I haven’t thought of that show in ages. It’s a bit funny that as everyone is coming outside, I only want to retreat back into our house. I want to watch films and stream everything under the sun. One more reason we own a private beach. I’m not sorry for any of this, and that’s why I love you.

I tell My Dæmon, every day that I’m sorry… shows what kind of father I am. The thing is he doesn’t understand the words, doesn’t care, but he stays beside me all the time. Without one word, he knows if I’m happy, sad, or angry. Yeah, I keep digging that hole comparing you to our furry son. It could be the fact that again I’m repeating myself from before. The noise of the world coming back alive is getting to me. It’s why my libraries, ladies, and love must be louder. To put it in another way, I love you to DEAF, wouldn’t you say?

No, I’m one for the lame jokes. What’s real is that I Love You. Now I could say that forever with or without the mask. I’ll admit with the Coronavirus (COVID-19) running rampant, it’s easier. Such is my vanity or the need for pain, though I want to be Peeta instead of Gale. Would that make you my Katniss, baby doll? I’ll smile small, eat big, For The Love Of You. Silence Of The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 329 ~Words Destroy More Than Bombs~

I’m always so concerned with zombies that I barely notice the Coronavirus (COVID-19). I should do better, but it’s the words of everyone around me minus the lady talking about my dog that destroy me. Words Destroy More Than Bombs.

Monday, May 25, 2020

Log 329 ~Words Destroy More Than Bombs~

Hundred And Thirty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s because of this rule. Funny, I don’t quote it more often, but that’s because I’m still focused on Rule One. I Will Have No Fear. For the record, I should add FEAR to my most hated words. Also, while I’m on the subject of lists, this would be in my top five reasons to be a writer. Rule Thirteen states, Power Is All That Matters. I still believe this, and Rules 19 and 84 say respectively, “LOVE Is A Great Power,” and “There’s Power In The Dollar.” In words, though, Madam Justice lies the greatest.

Last week and the start of this one SIGH, I notice how I silenced Cherry. Not only in my novel’s pages but indeed everyday life. I didn’t even need to use a ball gag, dammit. It seems my blessing and my curse. Hell, who knows I could be wrong all around as per my usual. I eat up the time talking to you and the other girls. When have I worked on either of my stories again? The only thing I write more is a litany of excuses, and yes, I’m back to blaming the Day Job. My recent humiliations stem from three words, “Home and Kids.” Now, if I wanted to kill myself, I would go right back to bed. I would let the disease, which is my words fester and finish. It’s like out of Pontypool. Did I ever tell you I’m a fan of chemical and biological warfare? Must be Greed, but anyway, words are a disease.

So is there a vaccine, what’s the cure? You inoculate with others Madam Justice. How many times have I brought up Succubus Lord by Eric Vall? I read his and other Harem Romances. Oh, to enjoy the title Sex Zombies. To read “Lolita” to even say the word, I listen to “Taboo” Fetishes with Alice. Again I think of my works. If my characters have a voice and can speak the things I can’t. The ability to create a world, a history of my design. I can build A Whole New World to hide in or better, I could become Godlike; my such grand designs. If only I said NO to Home and Kids, NO to my STUPIDITY, just NO.

Peace and Quiet. Forgive me Madam Justice but Fucking SILENCE, Words Destroy More Than Bombs.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 328 ~Well Hell, Oh Will~

If there is some positivity to be shared, I’m not a STUPID Republican. I’ll wear a mask, but I am annoyed at temperature checks because I’m always so hot * bum dum tss*. I run hot out of anger, chicks, or embarrassment. “Well Hell, Oh Will”

Sunday, May 24, 2020

Log 328 ~Well Hell, Oh Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I wear whatever I want. It’s like every day the Day Job finds new ways to make me a bigger sinner. Maybe that’s why my “sexual exploits” never bother me. Okay, that’s a lie, but that’s more concerning everyone else’s delicate sensibilities. Now, of course, this is more Inspector Echo’s wheelhouse, but I guess I need a bit of confession today. So if it ain’t Sex, it’s SOUL, STUPIDITY, and SLOTH. Now, what about WRATH and again LUST? As the song goes, gotta give it up to get off sometimes.

That shouldn’t mean your soul, though, your passion. Take some nights back, what time did I get to sleep? Hell, what about the day, the things I do to keep the Day Job? I still believe the worse thing is someone destroying your SOUL, and here I am, killing myself. Oh, then wait, um, why are you sitting here reading this right now.

“Never go for the kill when you can go for the pain,” ― D’Hoffryn, Buffy

Stupidity, well yeah, but we don’t have all day, so let’s stick with women make you dumb. Do we go with the pretty girl’s cart you stole the other day? Oh, I know how about not talking to Cherry? And as always, there’s the NO FAP Challenge. Hell, that’s the one thing that doesn’t make me lazy, trying to avoid porn like the plague. Here I was this week thinking all the pretty cosplayers were blocking me. I’m still playing Call me a Legend and reading Succubus Lord. I heard the show “Normal People” was mad at PornHub. No time for you know my Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 005 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making My Bed, Every Day This Week
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus Lord by Eric Vall
    Completed

I’m making the bed only to screw it up as soon as I return. Now you might think, why am I putting you through all this? I’m not suicidal. You know what makes you a great sadist… that you’re a decent masochist. I just read “10 Signs You Might Be A Masochist: Traits, Behaviors & More.” I scored seven out of ten, and that won’t be changing anytime soon. It’s Hell, you know, answer me this. Why is it that you enter the Day Job, well most of life and you’re burning up? How stupid is it to carry fire into Hell? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Making My Bed, Every Day This Week
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late by Colleen Hoover

Here’s the answer, the ninth circle is frozen over; TREACHERY. It’s betrayal and of who? Yourself, burn to stop, necessary sins, Well Hell, Oh Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 327 ~A Will Too Far~

Last week I said I’m no good without a nap, and this week, I’m still angry, horny, and please don’t ask me about the Day Job, yeah I torture myself enough with that, and if I ever stood up? A Will Too Far.

Saturday, May 23, 2020

Log 327 ~A Will Too Far~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and some people would say that’s way too much. There’s no such thing as too much money, which is why MY country is the way it is. Now I don’t want to get super political with you. It seems that my nap didn’t help, but does it ever? What I’m getting at is, I have such grand dreams (when I’m not sleeping). Considering what I want to do with MY life, I take heat for the smallest things. So since I won’t give you the speech to my boss, let’s go over a few other things.

Yes, I still hate being a liar, but let’s start with my Day Job. AHEM I did not survive this “poop” to be treated like I’m stupid. I might yell at the next huddle at the lot of them. Hell, if it hadn’t been for that one lady asking about my kid, I would say, I hate all of them. So what about my kid? I know he must be sick of his old man spending all his time writing. I still love him like pancakes, but here he is sleeping, knowing it counts as quality time. He loves his walks and wishes they were longer. I hear him often enough. Now that explains why I got the worst night’s sleep. I swear my bed at this point might as well be a trash heap. A fly was making the rounds all night buzzing. I thought there was a beehive above me. Wouldn’t that be awesome, and no “honey” to show for it, makes sense.

Now on women, today’s the first day of NO FAP, again. 1 day, 5 hr, 14 min, 30 sec to be precise. I saw Lisa Peachy right after napping, so I hopped out of bed. There are reasons I can’t do Brainbuddy or Covenant Eyes. My wheelhouse, my writing, their writing. Lady Luna too much information, am I right? Nobody knows me, though, and the ones that ask. Well, they stop talking to me. Even here, I put up a Spotify link, but as the song goes, I gotta enemies. It’s like I’m behind bars in one sense or another. I’m trying to keep the Beast in, keep the Boy out, and end up being a Bastard, pardon my French.

Freedom Lady Lu, now that is A Will Too Far.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 326 ~Will Digs On Hate~

For once, I could write a “happy” story, well not that kind of happy. Though a lady at the Day Job said that my furbaby was cute so I can’t say I hate everybody there anymore, 99 Problems but she ain’t one still. Will Digs On Hate

Friday, May 22, 2020

Log 326 ~Will Digs On Hate~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that doesn’t make me happy. Do you find it strange Lady Soph, that I consider HAPPY a hated word? Now HATE itself… I swear at the Day Job all I feel is RAGE, it’s all-encompassing. All my motivations talk about things like the Law of Attraction, Hard Work, Discipline, etc.

Are you saying I’m not; how many talks have I had in the past few days? Hell, I don’t want to get you or the girls sick with my Vitriol. That and my Libido, well hinging on how my talk with Dirty Diana went. They’re twin battering rams breaking me.

I want to focus on Vitriol, which I learned from Paulo Coelho’s book Veronika Decides to Die. I haven’t read it lately. We’ll get to my current reading list. Anyway, I’ve been having to mind my tongue at the Day Job. I mean damn, I marched right into my boss’s office. She wasn’t there, thank God, but let’s talk about another faceoff I’ve been having. My Fleshlight is sitting on the bathroom sink. No disrespect to former alcoholics, people with drug problems, or “real” addictions. I’m sitting here, and I’m dying to well “dive in.” I want to tell you everything, Lady Sophia, but that’s one more thing I can’t. There’s no TIME, it will cause too much TROUBLE, and I’m always TIRED. You should have seen me yesterday when I broke. I hated myself, but my mind was clear, and then, F my life.

Seeing as I can’t be negative all day but you know I’m going to try. Do you remember when I got heavy into Sean Weathers films, and I sort of wanted to direct those? Well, now I’m into Eric Vall. I’ve been reading Succubus Lord, and so far, I’m quite pleased with it. However, let me screw this up. While reading his book, I’m discovering Harem romances. One series by Rodzil LaBraun called Dystopian Girls. Of course, with my enjoyment of Vault Girls and Call me a Legend, this is becoming my niche. So I won’t be good at it. With that being said, I have come up with two new story ideas. A sequel to The Eve of a Cherry and one based on me sitting right here. On that topic, it’s been quite a while since I talked to Cherry? My wrong words, SIGH Will Digs On Hate.

I Will Have No Fear