Tag: Log

Log 345 ~Willing Big Boy Pants~

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The problem with pants, besides not being able to keep them on, or keep money in them, how much I hate McDonald’s right now and let’s not even talk about the Day Job… Willing Big Boy Pants; to stand up as a man

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Log 345 ~Willing Big Boy Pants~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that doesn’t mean you’ll catch me in a tux. Hell, how many people have seen me naked? Still, Inspector Echo, my mouth is more a problem than one more “Head.” How about Dua Lipa singing, “I can’t teach a man how to wear his pants.”

So I sit here this morning with no pants but soon. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Back when I was in school, I was only trying to keep them on. I got pantsed more than a few times. Even when I had a belt that didn’t stop people from attaching, panties to my jeans. Hell to think nowadays, I don’t mind showing off my body and am actively trying to get women to take their clothes off. We’ll get to that, don’t you worry. The fact remains at this moment that the last thing that I want to do is put on pants. I credit Rocko’s Modern Life with teaching me how to adult. Did Rocko, ever wear pants? Well, at least I’m not looking at porn and to answer the question, yes. I have to wear pants to feed the Pup, to keep an inch of tenuous Power. I “Profit” and to work on my real Purpose in life.

Now I say PROFIT, Mr. Has His Shoes In The Freezer So They Won’t Smell. Yeah, I’m too cheap to buy new ones. You remember how people would talk about boys sagging pants? Again I know how to use a belt but not how to keep a few bucks in my pocket. So what did I spend money on this week? Yes, we’ll talk about it, but let’s say I hate having things in common with this President. I won’t buy necessities, but I always find room in the budget for something or someone beautiful.

Why bother wearing pants when I don’t have any balls? “But real gangsta-ass (people) don’t flex nuts” as the song goes. It’s so not the time I know, in a variety of ways. Didn’t stop me yesterday, though, so here we go. Here I am putting money down, and for what? Boobs, Butts, Bare Naked as always but would settle for at least a conversation. I’m sorry, Inspector Echo, for the belt that’s coming soon. The lost bucks and boob obsession. Willing Big Boy Pants.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 344 ~Write Side Of Will~

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I was telling a doctor once that he should work on his bedside manner, told my kid’s vet the same thing, but life has come out of many a bed as well right. Still, I’m usually too busy talking or working. “Write Side Of Will.”

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Log 344 ~Write Side Of Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means a big bed. Of course, I think of this for several reasons, but when it comes to our children and us? When it comes to my firstborn, you know he’s pretty much like Cyrus from The Warriors. “Because it’s all our turf!” Little Toughie.

So let me start by asking what side of the bed do you sleep on? Did I have to ask you the first time you and me… Anyway, it’s like back when I had my HORRID Day Job. If I slept on my back, it meant I had work in the morning. On my belly, I could relax. Lying here, if I jumped to the right, it was going to be a bad day; to my left, there was time. With that being said, I sleep on the left side, I suppose. All I know is that I want to be touching you. Does that make me sound romantic or obsessed? You would insist I was both, and that’s why I love you. I’m not like Asa Jackson from Too Late by Colleen Hoover. He loves when Sloan sleeps on her belly naked. I’m not an over the top control freak. Okay, usually, I do have ideas, non-decorative bedroom concepts.

I don’t fancy myself as disagreeable. The one that always has to be right. Of course, as you know, I don’t like being STUPID. I left that far behind me at the last “Day Job,” I’ll ever have. Would I rather be right or happy, and again can’t we have both? Hell, in my line of work, give me joy, jubilation, and as the song goes, he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus. I do, however, wish to talk like a gentleman, except for maybe in the bedroom. You must be asking, have I been getting enough sleep these days.

Well, I am sleeping with you babe so… Yeah, there is no getting around the problems in our country. To state in plain, a black man, a white woman, but we make it work, don’t we. To play another song, “we all the same color when you turn out the lights.” Besides my manuscript and music, my mouth runs a bit too much when we should be resting. How about doing other things as well. I love you so, on the Write Side Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 343 ~Want Is Just Another Virus~

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Ignorance and Want only it’s nowhere near Christmas, I know, but if I ever have the money? Well, considering how I feel about the Day Job or the things I actually want to do for a living, I can tell you “stuff” I want. Want Is Just Another Virus

Monday, June 8, 2020

Log 343 ~Want Is Just Another Virus~

Hundred And Forty Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now… or how I want to be. Now, this is the perfect rule for right this second. It’s times like these, I realize that I have a problem. THEY talk about how “some” black men emulate Tony Montana. The Money, Power, Women, Gimme.

It’s no secret that this week I want, hell, I need money. I ought to be ashamed, Madam Justice. Only today (Saturday) I had a full day, and what have I done with it? To my shame, I slept, and Eric Thomas often talks about being willing to give up sleep. There’s also the fact I wanted that so badly I didn’t get myself a snack. How much will it cost to get over my fear of being awake? Even now, I checked out my schedule for next week and what do think I saw. SHOES, HOME & KIDS, dammit, I want money, so I’ll never have to listen to these STUPID people ever again. Now isn’t that the dream, and sounding like Trump? I do think having money does make you deaf. Of course, I hear everything which tells you all about my finances.

You know I’m one to quote Master Yoda, Fear, Anger, Hate, Suffering. Money leads to Power or the whole Rock, Paper, Scissors Dynamic. Power, Knowledge, Money. Money buys Power, Knowledge can take Money, Power crushes Knowledge. I want the power to not look STUPID. At this time, I want enough strength to stand up to my boss. Anger makes me sick, Madam Justice. I would say it makes me powerful, but here I am like a lamb to the slaughter and why? A Black woman and now ain’t the time.

What, for women? As Jake Morgendorffer put it, “God, God, Dammit,” how do you think I woke up after my nap? Drooling over “Specs,” Alyson Hannigan, and I’ll take a shot at saying Alison Rey because I need to stop looking at porn. I’m a master detective when it comes to that but can’t find one old lady, an electric knife. Even with NO FAP, I’m going crazy, and I want to… well, go off like a fire hose. I remember the words satisfaction is the death of desire, and that’s why I’m a dead man most of the time.

At least want shows I’m still fighting or about to. Want Is Just Another Virus.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 342 ~Will Gets The Boot…~

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I heard a song once say, we’ll put a boot in your ”butt” it’s the American way. Yeah, one of the few songs I blocked on Spotify though I have a Playlist called Someone SHOE Me. Will Gets The Boot, I’m always running trying to avoid it.

Sunday, June 7, 2020

Log 342 ~Will Gets The Boot…~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but if you need a timeframe, what about two weeks from now? One more reason I gave up comedy, my parents tried to tell me I’m not funny. So Good, Bad, And Ugly, it is then, or in reverse. Yeah, how do I even walk sometimes? SIGH.

Okay, let’s try this again, AHEM; things have gotten UGLY in my universe. At The Day Job, I told the GM that I’m not doing Home & Kids and Shoes anymore. You’ll have a job next week, no worries, “Brah,” but the week after? Hell, it always seems like my feet are still where they don’t need to be. Either running out the door like a coward. I stuck my foot in my mouth, telling the GM anything at all. Finally, I’m being lazy, as I’m still sitting here in bed instead of doing, well, anything. Will I get five thousand words done today and when it’s your turn. Yeah, that’s right, back to time traveling or trying to because again last week wiped me out. You’ll use the same excuse won’t you, the Day Job yet Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 018 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Five “GULP” Poems Daily
    Completed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Not Losing The Day Job Now
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late by Colleen Hoover
    Failed

Bad enough that you’re holding on to three, maybe even two. As I said, I didn’t lose the Day Job, but who knows. Even now, I know you feel like backtracking, that you’re terrified. You’re still sitting here, and come next week, you’ll be on your knees and why. One word, “Institutionalized.” Now don’t go feeling like one of those STUPID entitled white people wanting a haircut. You could use one by the way, and I tried, but I would have to CALL Supercuts, so no. Anyway trapped by work, chasing money, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 018 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Five “GULP” Poems Daily
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Learning About The Day Job Now
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late by Colleen Hoover

So now we’re at the GOOD. Please forgive the language, but your dick is pointed in the right direction. Hard as ever and not one day has gone by where I’ve avoided porn. If I had to name a few top contenders, those whose names I could find, Stalker Much?

  1. Chloe Toy
  2. Cayla Lyons
  3. Dillion Harper
  4. Riley Reid
  5. Shayla Jennings
  6. Tifa Lockhart (Purple Dress) Final Fantasy Remake
  7. Kagney Linn Karter
  8. Bridget Marquardt

“Hello Nurse,” as the Animaniacs would often say. Can’t forget about MILF Dos, of course, why ruin a friendship? Speaking of which still not talking to Cherry. What about that blonde at the Day Job?

So exhausted as you will be, Will Gets The Boot.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 341 ~Someone SHOE Me, Will~

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One of the worst weeks at the Day Job and that is saying a lot but I haven’t walked out for good, no not yet. Only with all this walking, I have been doing, why couldn’t I do anything a bit more constructive. Someone SHOE Me, Will

Saturday, June 6, 2020

Log 341 ~Someone SHOE Me, Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and more than ever, I want that private beach. There are pictures of me on a beach, not that I was allowed to keep any of them. Don’t ever ask me why I have no good memories of my childhood. I don’t have one picture to prove it. Now I don’t mean to be so cranky this Thursday morn or however long it takes to have this chat. By the time you read this, one of the worst weeks of my life has ended. Hell, how do I even keep score? Yesterday (Wednesday), I thought, no one counts days in Hell.

Of course, that was at the Day Job, the SHOE department. Talk about the Law of Attraction. Was this me talking about feet a few days back? Knowing the schedule made me think about my feet. Perhaps I’m feeling, defeated, yeah, not funny, I know. At least My Dæmon took it easy on me this morning. No walk for him, and shouldn’t I be worried? He hates getting old, the rain, and that I’m not sharing. Okay, for the moment at least. Speaking of walking nowhere, how about all the marches, protests, and riots going on. Running for Amaud, Marches for George Floyd, and we can’t forget about Breonna Taylor. Being Black in America, Lady Luna is something. The thing is I have a hard enough time only being me.

Do you want to take a walk in my shoes? If the Day Job is any indication, I intend not to wear any for plenty of reasons. Again the SHOE department is nowhere I want to be, and neither is Home And Kids. I would say I’m sick of running away and trust me, I am. Yet I want to be like Shaka Zulu, in some ways mind you. I want to stop running towards my bed and start running towards glory. With all this NO FAP going on (16 days, 21 hr, 42 min, 50 sec), I should be playing twenty toes. I’ll even admit to enjoying a bubble bath with a good book. Nowadays, I put my feet up for ten minutes at a time to read Too Late by Colleen Hoover. It seems though I still can’t keep up, even with my time traveling ways, what’s today?

Walk With Me… no Lady Luna, Someone Shoe Me, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 340 ~What You Know Will~

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I hate to lie because people don’t want the truth. Well, there seems to be a lot of that going around, or at least there was when I wrote this, but if I dare call myself a prophet, I know I’m not okay, and I shouldn’t write that. “What You Know Will”

Friday, June 5, 2020

Log 340 ~What You Know Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m “gonna have a Good Day,” a Lovely Day on Easy Street. The thing is I hate writing lies. Not fiction but lies, and so you know I’m no prophet, it still being Monday and all. Here’s my point. I’m always saying what I should write and then censoring (sometimes) what I shouldn’t be. Seeing as how I’m still awake after a not quite so bad day at the Day Job, I want to come right out with it. What Lady Sophia; still hating the phrase “How Are You Today” and “What You Know.”

I shouldn’t be writing of Kagney Linn Karter. Now I could go on for some time about this not being my fault or a plethora of excuses. You know the ole picture and a thousand words stick? Well her look, led to her name, EvilAngel.com, Downloads, and Little Kimberley. Yes, Lady Sophia, I always start with the porn and my wallet on that note. I saw something from MILF Dos, and is that um opportunity? Doubtful, but as of the 1st, I’m going on two weeks of NO FAP, madness?

In my dreams, and I shouldn’t be writing in my sleep. I’m so tired, though, and again this is after a somewhat decent day. Shoes will be so much worse. I only felt like punching one person today. Now, what did I say about lying, two at the most, okay? SIGH, it vexes me. Considering everything going on in this country and I want to harm another black man. How about COVID-19 cancels the rest of the workweek, hmm? That sounds pretty bad, but the Day Job is that horrible.

I need the money though besides paying off a would-be “model” and what about McDonald’s. You know how I have to check the prices on my phone before I go anywhere, but I didn’t, no, not this time. Well, my lunch budget is blown for the rest of the week. Damn, the one thing I don’t need to be writing about is ANXIETY, the Law of Attraction being what it is. Only I write about everything, and here we are. A journal, a blog is one big, How Are You.

Three different timeframes, right now I’m tired, at the Day Job, in a rage or scared, on Friday, hopefully relieved. Still What You Know Will?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 339 ~Willy On A Prayer~

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The day will come when you’ll never find me on my knees again, not for a job, a joke, the jerks of the world, etc. I was able to tell “God” no, so why can’t I tell everyone else and at the same time, the things I WANT to do. “Willy On A Prayer.”

Thursday, June 4, 2020

Log 339 ~Willy On A Prayer~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but it’s not because God granted it. There was a time I would have sold my soul to Satan if it could be done. You know I’m sick of relying on my parents, scared of my profession, and with “my” people? Yeah, I know I haven’t said much of anything when it comes to the plight, protest, or pandemic. Today should be “happy,” at least for my penis. Of course, I’m writing to you from the past (Sunday 31th). You want me to show gratitude… by the time you’re reading this, the week’s almost up.

Excuse me, Dirty Diana, for exercising some WRITE privilege. Yeah, not funny, but can we get to the sexy. I expect that’s how photographers are when it comes to their models. Do I have the balls to post than NO BOZONGAS picture? Forgiveness over permission. However, I’m no cameraman yet. No, I’m a Dominant, and that means I don’t have to ask for a fucking thing, doesn’t it? Though at this one moment, it would be for self-control. The stress is getting to me, and the week hasn’t begun, again it’s Sunday but too much. I’m asking Father Time for more time in a variety of ways. A former boss asked, why don’t I just quit. Because I talked to Inspector Echo today too and I’m busy chasing the money. Yet I won’t ask God to make a way, down on my knees. Of course, I enjoy others doing so.

Daddy, Master, Sir, the sounds of a young girl um a young woman on her knees begging. Honestly, though, I like the sound of my name; big surprise, I know. Why do you think women charge so much for that? I’m trying not to think about it with other events. After reading The Five by Lily White, I got into Reverse Cowgirl and a girl calling me Daddy. There was also that guy on Paranoia Agent, and do I need to mention other “gentlemen?” Shusaku and Isaku, ah my Hentai past. My favorite positions for girls, though, are Cowgirl and Doggystyle. Yeah, I’m not too keen on Missionary. Always though to have a girl, a queen, an angel, a goddess brought down to her knees. There’s nothing like it, DROOLS.

I’ve been on my knees enough to everybody else Dirty Diana, Willy On A Prayer.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 338 ~The Long Walk Will~

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Should I have joined the protest… to be honest, it would be better than what I’m doing right now. I can’t fight for my own life, and here’s the plight of people who look just like me. “The Long Walk Will,” no I sit here until the Day Job calls, again

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

Log 338 ~The Long Walk Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and do you know why that is? First and foremost, because I sit my ass down and write, pardon my language. The second involves bedrooms or more to the point pretty girls in the bed. Inspector Echo I still don’t have body issues, and I haven’t entirely given up the idea of Onlyfans. Now that leads me to the third reason, I should be the man “standing” behind the camera. Needless to say, I don’t want to take another damn step.

As Detective Del Spooner would say, “Stop cussing, go home.” What, Inspector Echo, you didn’t think I knew other members of law enforcement. Yes, I’m counting the movie I, Robot. Do you know what I don’t need to number? The days this week, my footsteps. While I’m speaking of films, though, I wish I could say something profound like in the movie Just Looking (1999). You know how Lenny’s Dad said, I don’t sell shoes, I sell journeys. I’m all for doing that with my books. God, Inspector Echo, feet turn me right off, yuck. However, I’m trying not to kink shame. For me, it’s feet, unless you count My Dæmon, I love his little paws. Anyway for Al Bundy it was ahem “Big” women. Another shoe salesman. Now don’t get me started on women like Momokun, Katie Cummings (in specific videos). I haven’t spoken to Cherry in so long.

Forgive me for looking at something higher than feet Inspector Echo. By the time you’re reading this, the Day Job has wrecked me, no doubt. Don’t chase money. It’s what all my motivations say, but I’m still here instead of choosing my purpose, women once again. What about more movies and more books, like Judge Dredd? Writing a book is starting to feel like the “Long Walk.” I use my words to keep the law rather than go outside breaking it. Richard Bachman, aka Stephen King, wrote The Long Walk. Isn’t the internet so beautiful? Anyway, three more tidbits about feet which I’ll need to survive this week. I love my lists, so one, adding to my fetish for thigh highs, stockings, leggings, I like ruffle socks. Taking a walk in my past, speaking of stories Shusaku and Isaku. Finally, if you’re going through Hell, keep walking. So I’m sorry.

Sorry I’m not protesting too, laziness The Long Walk Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 337 ~When Will Talks Sheet~

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Maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t left my bed other than to take my son for a walk, and because my “father” came by *shudders*. If I could finish just one book, I could make money in my sleep or do other things in bed ha. When Will Talks Sheet.

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Log 337 ~When Will Talks Sheet~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t brag about it. Indeed before I met you, what my son would hear is “Just me Baby Boy.” Follow that up with a sigh of relief, and that’s the end of the day’s events. Oh yeah, what about my writing? Am I a hard man to know, yep. I swear I’ve given old bosses a death stare. If I had my way, the phrase “How Are You Doing” would be outlawed. Daily I’m still struggling with Rule #2, “You Are Not A Caveman.” Considering my work, can you blame me for being speechless?

As the song goes, “Saving All My Love For You,” and that’s not the best example of marriage. Also, you’re probably sick of me, speaking through songs. Another reason I love you because you wouldn’t say that. And I Will Always Love You for that. Well, I guess that’s enough Whitney Houston, but should we talk about my lame writing? Yeah, I know by this point, a few bestsellers, some movies, a flair for titles, what about my new script? I want to apologize for having you act like my beta reader most days. Must be tiring. Even though our bed is still my favorite spot in the house… for many reasons. In younger days, I heard a woman say something about bedrooms. The better your bed, the more a woman wants to stay there. Again the focus of my life and I still wish to stay here with you.

Now you ask me why with everything going on? Is the world still such a scary place? Baby Doll, I still have nightmares of my life before. When I close my eyes sigh I could wake up and where would you be? To me, you’re like some superhero with or without her cape. I’m like a sick man dying, and you both give me Fever, with your Bad Medicine, Baby Girl. Only and I’m not one to kiss and tell, but I would say, “She’s Got Skillz. Yeah, this is why I don’t write jokes for a living. My Love, in Between The Sheets… yes, I’m cutting off Spotify… I don’t want to believe there is anything between us. You’re cooler than the other side of the pillow, “what’s my age again,” the last one?

Paper, Bed, Only You are times When Will Talks Sheet.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 336 ~Fear Plus Hope Equals Courage~

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Last week I said I barely notice the Coronavirus (COVID-19) anymore, and I’m not alone in that. Besides all the fears that come with being a black man in this country. I have to find the courage to even get out of bed. “Fear Plus Hope Equals Courage”

Monday, June 1, 2020

Log 336 ~Fear Plus Hope Equals Courage~

Hundred And Thirty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now… yep along with saying I’m hopeful. I’m sorry to say Madam Justice; all I have is the fear. Oh, and the lusts, I can’t forget about that. As the song goes, it takes two, but what do you get when you add terror and horniness? Isaku, Dark Shell, The Harvest Night? I would advise you not to look those up. So why even say their names, you ask me? Allow me this small luxury, it’s taking everything not to look at them myself, amongst other things. Tip of the iceberg I tell you but back to business.

I tell you every now and again, I am not a man of faith. At this moment, however, as the song goes. Please allow me to improvise, I’m a man of God with no need for saving. Hell, that’s the very first thing, especially with the current news, to live as I will, no allowance. From a concept to a prayer. For this week, I pray for courage not only for myself but for my son. He has faith I will return. You can even call it, hope when I tell him so. Through I shared fear sadly of the world beyond these walls, we combine our strength to survive. Madam Justice, I fear this entire week though, so wherein lies my hope. Dare I dream of my Six Impossible Things? Lies aren’t they, each and every week. I don’t hope I have good days. No, I fear that day when I’ll get myself fired.

So again, I’m looking for courage. Fear Plus Hope, but how about Purpose And Why. Here’s another song for you, Joy And Pain, as my aunt taught me? Here and now Madam Justice I am afraid, but I’m telling myself I will be better. Like at the Day Job last week, how I got birds slamming into the door now. How about the fact that my “father” is coming over? Fear can serve as great motivation, but it’s running with no destination, and your legs give, and you end up like me. Yeah, lying in bed, hoping that you won’t have to wake up tomorrow. What do I hope for, though, and that’s pretty damn easy to answer ahem WOMEN.

My purpose, but why? When can I tell the world that, to be that brave? Fear Plus Hope Equals Courage.

I Will Have No Fear