Tag: Man

Gospel 069 ~The Will To Exist~

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Well, one more Existence Day down, and unfortunately *AHEM* Spotify, Mensa, Hulu, and Adam &Eve remembered. The good news about being with me is I’m not one for celebrations besides Star Wars Day. “The Will To Exist,” I get Star Wars, but why me

Tuesday, September 8, 2020

Gospel 069 ~The Will To Exist~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and may the world forgive me for my selfishness. More to the point, may you forgive me, My Love. As Will Smith put it, “I’m being the best lover and friend. Am I being the best daddy I can.” Is that all I’m going on, these 36 years? I’m not regretting a moment of it. Still lying here beside you and her. Hell or sitting in my bed with my sleeping firstborn as usual. I can’t help but ponder the man I am, and I don’t mean only surviving my day-to-day.

I want to be real with who I am and again, being here at this moment shows me that you see. Now I didn’t become the man that you could love, I’m the man that you decided to love. Does that make any sense? A friend told me to compromise who I am for love. I’m not Wayne Brady. I’ve been talking about listening more to black men I like but back to my point. Anyway, he made a list, “The List,” of everything he wanted in a woman. You’re everything I hoped for. You’re everything I need.” Yes, with my music, I know Love. Somehow I’ve never gotten to what I want in myself. I know I want, like everything, I want lots of love and little ones, but what of the man inside. I’ve always hated yesterday until, hell, I don’t know. My parents weren’t happy I arrived, nobody else either but you, baby doll, that I exist.

You’re mine, and I am yours always, that makes us happy. I’ve never agreed with those people who said you have to love yourself first. You have to be in harmony with who you are. I found peace with you. Baby Girl, I’ll note millions of reasons with us. I know it to live hm. Is it only a Billionaire status… of course, living the dream. I can think back of a time when lying in bed, hoping I didn’t get humiliated at the Day Job, was as good as it gets. I was without direction, without purpose. My Mom would tell me I would find my way… another song.

How about a few like Chasing Cars, “if I lay here,” add in some U2 “With or without you.” Martin Luther King Jr. could be right about a man having nothing to die for, maybe.

“If a man hasn’t found something he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

Still The Will To Exist…

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 068 ~Willing Existence Day To Be~

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Well, I’m back to time-traveling because I will be too busy surviving the day to bother with writing. Today is like someone announcing the annual Purge and that means I have to hide. Only if I were to have the Perfect Day… Willing Existence Day To Be

Monday, September 7, 2020

Gospel 068 ~Willing Existence Day To Be~

To Existence Day #36

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, yes I am. Madam Justice, today is not about a rule. It’s Existence Day. Now yesterday, I talked about reality, but today I want to speak on Existence Day um, why not now. So if you dare…

My Dæmon is an old man, much like me. He has a little beard, maybe a few gray hairs, but he runs around with my two-legged kids. If I have a son and daughter, of course, Luke and Leia. Three daughters, Katniss, Tris, and Ember. Anyway, how’s breakfast in bed? My loving wife has long gotten me over hating today. She was up early for a “variety” of reasons, and after a kiss, good morning, she’s taking pictures. After breakfast, there’s a shower, but of course, I’m not alone, and why would I want to be. No more hiding today. As I walk through the house, several of the staff are wishing me well. I don’t grumble at them. I don’t have my earphones blaring away. Even now, hearing my voice sounds a little weird.

Now I’m not working today, but somebody has to keep things running. Before my beautiful wife, I would probably have a celebration at one of my many brothels. I have established several, so there’s plenty of stops to make. Everyone’s excited, and the gifts wow. That wonderful wife of mine has a surprise at the studio. Most of the staff will be taking a lunch break as we make a movie. I swear the woman is insatiable, and I’m getting used to my birthday suit.

We take the kids to the beach. While I’m still not much of a fan of the water, my wife is a talented swimmer. My Dæmon is barking his head off, but he’s trying to pull the kids away from the water. He’s getting too old for this stuff, but what about me? My age? Heading back to the house, well geez, everyone has arrived. Cosplayers, writers, some of the tamer girls I know. Indiana Gone, M. Anime, a couple of the MILFS. I don’t dwell on those missing, and my mom is a bit freaked out, but she did raise a gentleman, I think. “Surprise,” my wife announces in her dress, and she brought a friend. Happy Existence Day.

To me, that would be perfect, happy to be alive. Willing Existence Day To Be

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 066 ~The Plan Will Work~

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What am I doing today? Of course, a conservation today, walking my kid, cleaning up for Existence Day as if I might have company. No, I will have company if I take a chance but first comes faith. The Plan Will Work

Saturday, September 05, 2020

Gospel 066 ~The Plan Will Work~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it would be a miracle. Joe Biden said that no miracle is coming, at least not from on high. Now what have I said about listening to white men about everything… America right? Anyway, while I disagree with some of Morgan Freeman’s views on race. I remember his words in the film Bruce Almighty. Be the miracle. I crawled out of bed before 8:00 AM. Took my Dæmon for walkies. I have been cleaning for three days straight. Then we have next week; Existence Day.

I don’t have any arrangements, Lady Luna. Hell, I have more of an idea of what I’m doing tomorrow than Existence Day. I should also add that my little sister’s “Emergence Day” is the day after my own. Am I comparing my sister to the Locusts from Gears of War? Funny that one of my Existence Days would take place in a hospital, well, of course, didn’t the first one ha, ha. I’ve always talked about if terminators existed, I would send one through time. Is there a chance that I could go all “Looper?” Keeping up movie-wise, hmm? I would be glad if you were dear Lady Lu. I’ve been thinking about something, well since last night; delusions of grandeur as they may be. Again, me and my pride to be a ladies’ man, a businessman, right. Staying Alive?

There are two girls, one hinting at reconciliation, another I shouldn’t mention now. I have two days to figure something out. Indeed, only today. Both mothers and would have no time, and yet I’m here. I shouldn’t be wasting my time, but I know the truth of all this, Lu. I don’t want to spend Existence Day alone. Now the other side of the coin, I don’t want to shut the door entirely, and of course, I need the Day Job. Sure, I have my Dæmon. I expect to hear from Indiana Gone. Yet, I won’t even tell M. Anime. Like I’ll see her Yabbos. Somehow though, I have this idea about MILF Tres, aka Special K, and she who will not be named. OKAY won’t say anything, and I want to cut my phone off because I don’t want to hear from my Olds.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CzqU2Q-wiMhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmJ95_6qN6o

I’m Lord Give Me A Sign. I need to hear better men. Man In The Mirror… The Plan Will Work.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 065 ~Will Protests Neighborhood Donations~

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I never come back and read my work; unless I’m looking for a name for a woman who works in um “entertainment.” Anyway, a woman was asking for donations to fix the sign in the neighbor the other day and… Will Protests Neighborhood Donations.

Friday, September 04, 2020

Gospel 065 ~Will Protests Neighborhood Donations~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, well t-minus 3 days. Do you remember when I would play PCH every day, and all of a sudden, they were headed in this direction? I spent that day believing I won the grand prize. Of course, I didn’t, some lady did, but C’est la vie. I talk an awful lot about giving some women my money. It doesn’t matter if I’m cleaning, paying for my Dæmon’s meds, or if the chicks are animated. Yes, I’m still bankrolling plenty of artists. Nagoonimation, Niisath, and others, best not mentioned. Making a difference?

I didn’t cut a check or sign a money order for the sweet lady in the neighborhood. You know me, Lady Sophia, I can for damn sure write excuses. Now I meant to call Wednesday but my “father.” Yesterday I was slothful and let time wind down, without caring ever. How entertaining it is watching the Trump peons stumble over themselves. It’s inspiring to watch people stand-up for themselves. Hell, I even believe in the cause and have been waiting for this for… “What’s My Age Again?” So, where are my protests signs? Donations to the cause. I am sitting at over $1,000. I had more but did I mention how much I hate Serra Hyundai. A story for another time. I could be supporting Biden and Harris. Where’s my Black Lives Matter merch? Why aren’t I fighting against injustice?

Well, I write atrocities, so there’s that. The world is getting worse, and all I can think about is the worst day of my life coming up. If I’m not talking to you, Lady Soph, I’m writing the worse crimes because they turn me on. The things I like that I can’t; it still sucks. Honestly, you know how I feel about charity. No, I’m not talking about Charity from Passions. Nor Charity Zoey Mars from my latest novel, the beautiful blonde UK vixen. I want to help, only at the same time, there’s so much money worldwide. Why is it left to me always? Humanity believes I don’t care, but what have I told you a million times over. If Melody Parker shows up wearing a MAGA hat, I’ll vote Trump. I would have paid anything to see MILF Dos’s Yabbos again. Sex workers are mad at Bella Thorne.

Yabbos, I read and write, but Will Protests Neighborhood Donations.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 063 ~When Will Cleans House~

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I was a “Hero,” before and this week, I’m only the janitor of the house, and while I wish it was for a good cause. Nah, my Old Man is coming. Hope, I don’t die. My lil sis was in quarantine, and now my Father wants to drop by? When Will Cleans House?

Wednesday, September 2, 2020

Gospel 063 ~When Will Cleans House~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford a maid. I’ll admit I drove my last cleaning lady away, asking to see her Yabbos. That’s embarrassing enough. How about my BFF Indiana Gone? When she would come over, I went into a freaking cleaning frenzy. Hell, she told me once that she liked my shrimp pasta, and if I made her some, she’d give me a blowjob. Will he cook, will he clean, will he order takeout, options? All the above. Which brings me to today. The best maid in the world is a man thinking he’ll get laid.

What have I been doing instead of talking to you? I’m proud to say I’ve never been given a swirly. However, this morning I had my head in two toilets. I washed the dishes, cleared out some sex toys. As we speak, I should still be at it. Of course, My Dæmon is all confused. He misses Indiana Gone as do I. Talk about one in a million, and I still speak to her, that’s something. Now before I get into Yabbos or make another mess, I can’t help but contemplate what it takes for me to get it up… to clean. I swear I have been sitting in squalor for months. Inspector Echo, the plague is still upon us, the Coronavirus (COVID-19). It’s like donning clean underwear just in case you die. If I kept talking to MILF Tres, I would have gotten around to doing something sooner. Now we have what I can’t talk about at all, Echo.

Death, though, my “father” is coming over today with a mattress. If he shows up, it might as well be with a coffin. A sad state of affairs, believing he is trying to kill me and so close to The DAY. My sister was in quarantine, and now my “father” wants to show up, hmm?

One way or another, it looks like I’ll end up on my back. Am I getting my house in order? Once again, I have the time. Only on top of cleaning and chatting away, I’m burying myself in depravity. I’ve been commenting on a new English girl because ain’t nobody thinking about Cherry. There’s been drooling around the Boobless Wonder and Tifa Lockhart. Damn, they both remind me of “HER.”

Doubt “Dad” will check my laptop or closet, stuff, and thangs… When Will Cleans House.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 062 ~Willing To Say Anything~

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Last week I said something about people disappearing, and I don’t need the usual magic words. If you ever read what I write, it’s like Spinelli and Maxie all over again. You know, from General Hospital years ago? Willing To Say Anything to not be me.

Tuesday, September 1, 2020

Gospel 062 ~Willing To Say Anything~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which could make me a Republican or at least a fan. No, never, as the song goes, I’ll Be (the greatest fan of your life.) Yes, I know it’s getting kind of late, and I can’t say I’m an expert at pillow talk or speech period. One more reason I’m a writer and this. I write to test out everything I want to say and to learn what I shouldn’t. Being your man and all, I know plenty of things a woman says when she’s annoyed. There are things a man shouldn’t forget. Then there’s these.

When you say nothing at all. Damn, I want to tell you everything, but I’m still afraid of how it will look. If I say nothing, then I know I can’t screw anything up, and I never mastered that courtly love concept. If you say nothing, then you’re like all the rest in my life. Obsessed with that idea, right? Baby girl, I believe love is a chemical, a drug, an obsession. You’ve seen all these people breaking up during the plague era who can’t stand to be around each other for ten minutes. I said I would share my life, and I mean it. My soul is in my writing. Do you know what it’s like to have it be seen and tossed aside like so much garbage? That’s why it takes forever for me to let you see it. I want you to be better, I want you to say something, please anything.

I tell you I love you, and you know that the phrase is used far too often. Hell, I shared one of my first books with a woman, and that scared her off quick. Such was her vanity, or so I believe. I don’t mean to complain, but how am I going to get to sleep tonight. Well, besides doing that, ha. Again the things I want to say to you, My Love or more to the point, do to you. It still surprises me that you haven’t left. There’s this movie I saw once. It’s about an artist who got married but lost his spark because his wife didn’t understand him or his work. Slaves To Passion, I guess. If I could tell you everything though… Stay With Me.

Let My Baby Stay, I pray. Willing To Say Anything.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 061 ~What If Once Isn’t Enough~

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Someone said, “I’ll try anything once” now, I can’t say I exactly live by that myself, but if I strike out three times, I’ll walk away. Yes, says that man that is going on ten attempts and around 36 days come… um, nevermind. What If Once Isn’t Enough

Monday, August 31, 2020

Gospel 061 ~What If Once Isn’t Enough~

Hundred And Fifty-Second Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I would never spend a dime on baseball. Nor would I pay anything for basketball, football, soccer, and the list goes on. Sure, I like nachos and a well-cooked hotdog, peanuts, and Icees, but I hate sports. Not all sorts, mind you. There are no Olympics this year, and I paused wrestling for our chat. Now I love movies. I went to see Black Panther at least four times. Yes, still thinking about Chadwick Boseman. Back to something HAPPY … Yabbos.

Wait, we’re not supposed to be speaking about those. Didn’t I say something about learning my lesson? Of course, you know I’ll talk about Yabbos forever, but HUT ONE, HUT TWO, HUT THREE, HUT! Yes, I know the difference between baseball and football, but I prefer music. Shame on a Nigga by the Wu-Tang Clan to be specific. Anyway, my point is I fucked up (pardon my language), and I’m not going for four. Only I want to Madam Justice. I continue to lose friends left and right like something off that movie Unfriended. I give myself too much credit that I could be a good man, but here I am, an open book. The battle cry of say his or her name and I don’t speak ill of the dead. If I talk to the living, I would be a horrible person once again.

Here I am talking about screwing up for the fourth time, but my madness and rage are constant. Fire is the only thing getting me through the Day Job because my fear threatens to overflow. How is it that I walk into Hell again and again, and I swear I know it? It’s like choosing to FAP with the knowledge of what I will feel afterward. Yeah, even now, before speaking to you, I was looking for Ariella Ferrera. A reminder of you know who as Momokun is of Cherry. As far as Milf Tres goes, now she was the easiest to forget, I admit.

“The Day” is almost here, and how many times has it been 36? Hell, how have I ever made it this long? Of course, each year, The Day shows that I must like something about this place but what hmm?

Yabbos seeing them again, but what is the meaning of life? Seek out a kingdom, make god bleed, love Madam? What If Once Isn’t Enough?

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 059 ~Will You Be King~

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First, Rest In Power Chadwick Boseman, I saw plenty of his movies and Black Panther at least four times. Now, of course, I’m plenty selfish too, so today I’m not so much an open book, I’ve learned my lesson. Will You Be King?

Saturday, August 29, 2020

Gospel 059 ~Will You Be King~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but he was more. Chadwick Boseman, he was a star, a legend, even a king. Lady Luna, he was Andre Davis, Thurgood Marshall, the Black Panther, King T’Challa. Now he’s gone. May he Rest In Power. I had to say something.

Can I go back to being a prick because the last 24 hours have been sad enough? Hell, it hasn’t even been that long, but Friday was something else. I must confess that as much as I would like to, I can’t even share it all, and do you know why. Call it hope, maybe faith?

I saw something yesterday, and I’m going to have to pretend I didn’t. The moment I entertain the possibility if I should ever give it voice? My Lady, how many times has there been wailing and the gnashing of teeth? Again I was reading W. Anton, and this goes against everything he teaches, but I refuse. Yes, I lack the courage, but I have learned from history. Better to be a live chicken than a dead duck. I am no king or even a hero. Let me be but a simple kind of man.

Every day I’m closer to being an older one, and I ask, what have I done with my life? I watched It’s A Different World “It’s Greek To Me” that fraternity Kappa Lamda Nu. My whole family has pledged. Yeah, my Mom and my sister are Deltas. Dad is an Omega. You won’t believe me, but I’m fine by myself, but damn I don’t speak to my blood kin hm. It’s strange though that nobody would know if I win and everyone will tell me about it if I lose. I mean look Lady Lu, again I created a whole “cathouse” so I could complain.

Only now, I join so many in the world in mourning, and that is my connection. I can’t speak of affection or of joy. No, I can’t say anything about excitement because what happens then? Lady Lu, I am a good man with a good heart. Usually, I would laugh at that, but now I want to cry. I want to be a billionaire, a king, and I don’t know how to do both, be “decent,” and have my power. Chadwick Boseman did his way.

Yet one more unanswered question. SIGH Will You Be King

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 058 ~Will’s General Day Passions~

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Last week I asked the question, what inspires you, well besides the usual and you know I wish I could I say money but here I am still sitting in bed. Um, I have time to watch soap operas, only I’m staying off that horse “Will’s General Day Passions.”

Friday, August 28, 2020

Gospel 058 ~Will’s General Day Passions~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, damn that will. My apologies for the swear, but second the reference might escape you. It’s from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, their “Damn That Lazlow!” Now I was pretty big on soap operas um once upon a time. Yeah, I want to bang Lexi Ainsworth and Haley Pullos. Do you know Kelly Monaco was in Playboy? The only thing I’ve been reading since it’s on my coffee table; at least the Eileen Kelly cover. What about collecting a decade’s worth of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues?

Okay, so do I need more excuses for not doing what I need to do? Again while I did watch soap operas, I have never seen an episode of Days of Our Lives. I did watch Passions and General Hospital. Both became more of a chore than a form of joy, by God the stress. That’s why I’m always on the search for pleasure. My how I so wish you were the first person on my mind this morning. Lady Sophia, that’s not even me. I’m nowhere near being the best daddy, but you know my Dæmon, my firstborn is my alpha and omega. Yet Hell is where I’m going. With all the soap opera starlets I want in my bed, every day begins with porn. A guy thanked me for a tip on Teen Kasia. Of course, another plaid skirt came calling, Kristen Scott in Back To School. Bella Throne scammed her fans… nudity.

I’m about to be a year older, um, okay, so I’ve been reading W. Anton. As much as I would like to, I won’t finish “that” thought. Hell, let me stop myself. Before, I start treating Yabbos like “champagne wishes and caviar dreams.” My stories to tell. Not like the ones I imagine each and every night, which usually go like this. Like Hanna, “I’ll do better next time.” The Hanna that would get me into some trouble but what I’ll agree with Trump on… Russian women. He wants my vote, Melody Parker Bipartisan Bonage. I told M. Anime the yesterday, she must be sick of me bringing sex into everything. Yeah, Lady Sophia, a girl mentions sex slaves, and I’m wrong. Anyway, why aren’t I working on my novels then? What about Gulp? How about writing HAPPY once, honestly?

Night’s for Fairy Tales, but days, Will’s General Day Passions.

“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.”
Steve Jobs

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 055 ~Got To Be Will~

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Nobody is ever “real” with me, it’s like everyone is a magician, and I’m an audience of one watching them disappear. I’m left echoing, “how’d they do that?” One reason I listen to so much music. “Got To Be Will,” but what about anyone else.

Tuesday, August 25, 2020

Gospel 055 ~Got To Be Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, I am a lover and friend, and the best daddy. Yeah, I also sound like a particular Will Smith song. Of course, I’ll never say anything negative about the guy, and you know why that is. I’m being me, My Love, I got to be Will. That’s why I love you so much. As always, another song AHEM, that’s all I “Ask Of You.” I know this week has only just begun, but I’m wishing I’d stayed in bed. Geez, I’m going to sound like one of my Spotify playlists, but would you lie with me?

I tell you I need space one day, and the next, I need you to never let me go. Yeah, I got “Issues,” and how many songs is that? I’m around 7 so far but darling “Stay With Me,” please. It’s not like I can hear anyone else and “You’re All I Need To Get By.” Are you annoyed yet? I choose every single day to share my life with you. Now, this is something I can never diminish. My firstborn has his Trump-like loyalty to me. Um, that’s scary. The kids aren’t going anywhere so soon. They grow up so fast I always hear. But “Only You” baby girl… It’s not the fact that you choose to be with me though you have, and I am forever grateful. You know I believe that “Your Love Is My Drug.” I could blurt out 1 Corinthians or talk about all your heart, soul, and mind. Yeah, me and my pride again.

If today were Thursday, and what have I said about scheduling “relations?” I can’t help it as it comes with the job. Well, Kagney Linn Karter on the set called Dane Cross her Superman. Again I look at all I have lost, the many friends, the motivation, the money, and why? I’m a moron, a misanthropist, I mention the likes of Kagney Linn Karter. My Love, I am no hero, most days I don’t consider myself a good man though it’s nice to hear you call me one. I’m only Will, and if I am to be real with you, I’m asking, would you be too. Hell, didn’t we settle this with an I Do, I Will, or something to that effect? Yes, and still I ask always, “I Wanna Know,” Got To Be Will.

I Will Have No Fear