Tag: Man

Gospel 188 ~Such A Squeaky Will~

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The world is noisy, and that’s why I love my Dæmon so much; he’s quiet. If he does get loud barking, it’s to help or be hardheaded, but he doesn’t bark to breathe. People spend time talking to acknowledge existence. With love? Such A Squeaky Will yep

Tuesday, January 5, 2021

Gospel 188 ~Such A Squeaky Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I like Containment. Am I already becoming so confusing at the start of this New Year? Do I mean the show, our home, how I live my life? All three? It’s why I don’t talk much. I’m a hard man to know. One for an epiphany? While I was Just Cruisin’ sometime last week, still angry at Serra Hyundai. Hell, we’re rich. Why am I even driving myself? Yes, I’m tempted to burst out into Cars by Gary Numan. Thanks for noticing. Only I’ve never been a car guy or a much for love type. The thing is Love’s Loud.

You remember that campaign “Love is Louder”? With all the noise in the world, I don’t ask for your love to compete. Okay, this brings me to my epiphany. Driving, I started thinking about when we began dating. I enjoy quiet movie nights, music, museums. Always I remain a hopeless romantic. Forever Hopelessly Devoted To You. A fool for the idea of Love At First Sight. I’m not one to kiss and tell. You know Saving All My Love for You. Geez, might as well create another playlist. Baby Girl, you make my heart sing. People talk too much, and when it came to us because Only God Knows Why, those three little words I Love You are wasted. Of the women I’ve known (GULP), I’ve only meant them four times. To my Mom, to a high school girl, a YouTube starlet, and to you.

Then I found out that love is louder. As I said to the women, I’ve known, but I tell my Dæmon I love him every day. I say it to all our kids. Me, a “Soccer Dad” well, maybe they’ll stick to quieter pursuits. Either way, I’m down. The pitter-patter of tiny feet all over. Those Saturdays, where we can lie together and listen to my “Nuclear” playlist. It seems more prudent than ever. Oh, and why did I have to soundproof our room again? Ellie Goulding’s Love Me Like You Do is all I’ll say. I’m trying to not make you get loud now. Then yeah, I always told myself I had to marry a woman that was a singer. A chef because kids are always spoiling appetites. The Dæmon is looking at his full bowl SIGH. But butterflies.

Telling you baby, I love you, Such A Squeaky Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 187 ~Panic Does Not Serve You~

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The first Monday of the new year. Same job, redundant emotions. And with my “Republican Tendencies” leftover feelings of hate for humankind. It took me a while to calm down after my cray day. Good thing I started this Sunday. Panic Does Not Serve You

Monday, January 04, 2021

Gospel 187 ~Panic Does Not Serve You~

Hundred And Sixty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and in other things, I wish I knew. How about being scared to death. I’m terrified, now seeing how I’m coming on or off (with time) another lousy shift. It’s still Sunday, but speaking to Lady Lu, I wanted to take my son to the vet. As I told the Man in the Mirror, it was a night of puppy cries and puke in my bed. He’s had some good hours, no vomit, no cries. Making up for lost time. It seems Madam Justice this year has started off with confessions and another. I saved some money.

Do you remember when I was pissed at Serra Hyundai about wanting another $500? Hell, I still am, but as I was driving away after saying no, I was frightened. Spent the whole ride listening to “Sixteen Tons,” “Working in a Coal Mine,” and “We Will Go Home” for real. Speaking of which, the “Song of Exile.”It’s at the forefront of my mind whenever I head to the Day Job. I carry a plastic bag and a Sprite in my backpack. Yes, I might puke when I get out of the car to start the day. Even now, I’m shaking knowing the coming week. Right this second, I panicked when a friend was a bit upset with me about my views on Trump. I know Madam Justice, it didn’t take long, and here we are, day three or four into the brand New Year SIGH.

Speaking of “Republican Tendencies,” why is it again that I feel that money will solve my problems. Because I would be “Takin’ Care of Business.” I hear my first playlist this year. It doesn’t change the fact with the right amount of money, well who knows, hmm. I do. Last night while fighting addiction, I thought, would “Capital A” forgive me for wanting? Well, what a boy wants. With enough, I would make Target, Serra Hyundai, and the “Day Job” AHEM “quake with fear” or panic. Maybe funding other businesses. How about my panic? What’s the cure there? Again something I can’s share and can’t do anymore but twenty minutes, where am I, in bed. There’s also my Anger and Rage. Please don’t make me quote Yoda. Nowadays, I’m focused on how old I am.

Time is on my side, well no, so yeah, yikes… Panic Does Not Serve You.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 185 ~Here I Am, Will~

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From grunts to “sup” and now “another day,” not that this one is going as planned. I had a plan, ha. I got up to see another one, which is usually as good as it gets, and now something is wrong with my kid. “Here I Am, Will,” but I have to do better.

Saturday, January 2, 2021

Gospel 185 ~Here I Am, Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. This is me, the man I want to be. Sorry for talking to you so late… 6:55 PM. Where does the time go? Indeed, where does “The Will” go. To be honest, it started this morning. I contemplated looking good for my TWD Guild or sleep. People always have a way of making you more… Accountable? As much as I brag about my Republican tendencies, turning my back on all humankind is not my strong suit. Neither is leaving my Dæmon hurting, but we’ll get to that this evening, I hope.

Next to him is my work, my writing, my will be done. So how about this new year. Yep, it’s time to make some New Year’s Resolutions. I did think about waiting till tomorrow, talking to the man in the mirror as it were. Yet, at this rate, who knows where I’ll be. Better, let’s see if anything has changed.

  1. I AM Seeing My Dæmon Through Another Year
    Completed (2020)
  2. I AM Writing A New York Times Bestseller
    Failed
  3. I AM Making One Million Dollars
    Failed
  4. I AM Writing 400 Words Everyday (Goal 120,000)
    Completed (2020)
  5. I AM Visiting The Moonlite Bunny Ranch
    Failed
  6. I AM Beginning To Make Investments
    Failed
  7. I AM Producing An Adult Film For Sale
    Failed
  8. I AM Participating In NaNoWriMo
    Completed (2020)
  9. I AM In A Relationship or Sleeping With A Girl At Least Once A Month
    Failed
  10. I AM Becoming Free Of Parental Oversight (Rockford, Grandma, The Car, etc.)
    Partial Completion
  11. I AM Speaking Positivity Into My Life
    Failed
  12. I AM Starting Work On Life Goals “Episode 345 ~You Got Will’s Number~.”
    Failed
  13. I AM Fearless Now
    Failed

Yes, Lady Lu, this list still applies, and as you can see, I only completed 1,4 and 8. At this particular moment, it’s #1 that worries me. Tomorrow I’m going to have to get the Imp checked-out. I don’t know what’s wrong but sometimes being here ain’t enough. I told myself again I wouldn’t be writing to you so late. It’s like how the holy-rollers say the spirit is willing, but the flesh SIGH. Last year, huh, a “Sucker For Pain.” A lady at the Day Job told me I looked skinnier. I’m here, “now fight” Sucker Punch, yeah. Here I Am, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 184 ~A Few Words Will~

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Happy New Year, but I’m still me, tend to ramble on too often, follow many writing rules nobody does, and confuse as all Hell. Of course, you know my views on the word Happy, but I am trying; it’s only one word. A Few Words Will.

Friday, January 1, 2021

Gospel 184 ~A Few Words Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, should become “I AM Happy right now.” Brevity is the soul of wit and all that. Still, I have to write four hundred words. Okay (takes a deep breath) Happy New Year, Lady Sophia. As the song goes, “Just Got Paid,” I’m working on downloads, and I found my favorite book in Kindle form. How’s that for gratitude starting today, right?

Now you’re saying I’m not sounding like myself. A talk with Lady Lu will clear that up. Let’s say that I’m trying something new and leave it at that. Of course, speaking, AHEM, it gets easier, I know it. No, um, I got to be me, and I literally need some air, but I tried. Lady Sophia, do you remember that movie, “The Pagemaster?” The way Macaulay Culkin had the three books? They were characters, Adventure, Fantasy, and Horror. I’ve seen this done in various ways and even in my writing, um, Gospel 170 Will Rings The Belle. So for a brief second there, I was thinking about giving in to one emotion, which was “Happy.” Yeah, no, Now I wasn’t joking about replacing the Billionaire shtick. That’s if I remember to. If I do have a billion, and by the end of my blogging year, I should get busy.

Speaking of which ha, my New Year’s Resolutions. Yesterday I brought up Log 188 Bold, Willing, And Able. Number eleven on that list was “I AM Speaking Positivity Into My Life.” I got a bit carried away, new year trying to ONLY be positive… Newspeak. Honestly, My Lady, I was beginning to feel like Alaria when Ian wanted to change her. Or when Veil told Sunny that we are slaves to our nature, something to that effect. While I was caught up not reading the novel I purchased, I saw this quote from my downloads.

“A man chooses, a slave obeys.” Andrew Ryan – Bioshock

Well, this morning, I chose to put myself to the hazard of reading twenty-five books this year. No wonder I decided to go with something safe. The thing is, “safe” is only one more word. Should I have gone “crazy” and fired my gun like all the other people yesterday?

The word I focused on last night after finishing my final book of the year was happy. You know that word, and I don’t get along. But one little word, yep, A Few Words Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 182 ~Humiliation’s A Number Will~

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One day I swear I’m going to sit in a room and type all day, pocket my cash, and send an army of mercs to silence anybody sending me spam… well, that got dark pretty quickly. “Humiliation’s A Number Will,” and next year I want it to be zero

Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Gospel 182 ~Humiliation’s A Number Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so um, I still hate Math? Considering I’ve taken no sick days or vacation days. There’s the concept of dinner around here, becoming a big event. I have a yearly eye exam, which is the extent of my medical care. Yep, I still hate my teeth. Okay, say it with me, “This Is America,” how about I am a “Real American.” You’ll have to excuse me, Inspector Echo. The Stimulus Talk and my usual complaints, numbers have been on my brain. With enough cash, humiliation doesn’t matter, enough not to count.

Let’s start with me and My Dæmon. I’m 36, goddammit, my son’s 15. Now I’m trying to stay clean, Inspector Echo when I talk to you, but I’ll put the question out there. When’s the last time I’ve had sex? Meanwhile is the Dæmon living the life, meds, food, yes… However, he could have more, but where’s the money going? Let’s say I’m “supporting” three artists. Depends on how you define art. I can’t tell you how much I’ve spent on the random “expressions.” Or how about the money that went towards “Capital A” SIGH. Well, make more money, you say; how long have I been at the Day Job? Nine years, Inspector, taking orders. And each and every day there, I’m either depressed, destructive or damned. What about all the money I paid to not publish a book now?

I mentioned Capital A, but how many women have stopped talking to me this year alone? I’m going to say three, but even that’s a shot in the dark. Better to keep my mouth shut, but tomorrow, of course, is The Closing of the Year. Pop Culture is much served. While fighting off my addictions. You know within Six Impossible Things, “5 Days” so far. Doing everything to keep my mind occupied, and you see how that’s going. Remember, I had to wipe my phone of such and such, still leaving six thousand pictures altogether. Again I think about writing three NaNoWriMos between two camps and November. Four hundred words daily for the year is around 146,000 or nearly three NaNoWriMos. Not one dollar earned doing what I love still.

Before I forget, two Pinterest accounts are gone. Another “explicit” account wrecked. More sugar daddy/momma accounts blocked between Whisper and Goodreads. Big numbers Inspector Echo still Humiliation’s A Number Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 181 ~A Happy New Will~

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I have no clue what I would want once I found love, well to protect that love, of course, but once I have Jeff Bezos’s bank account and a woman to share it with, and 5.5 kids would I be HAPPY? A Happy New Will, can’t I just be happy now, a long story

Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Gospel 181 ~A Happy New Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that doesn’t make me a great man or a good one. Most days, I would settle for alright. Remind me, when I’m done with “Into The Badlands” to watch “Firefly” again if you got that reference. Today though, I’ve been thinking about “Equilibrium.” I mean, I hate fireworks, the Dæmon and I both. I don’t drink much; ask my BFF about that. Staying up till midnight is usual for me, so no coffee required, eww.

Complaining and lies are habits I should leave in 2020, right? There are fireworks between the two of us, ha-ha. When we take the kids, minus the Dæmon, to see them at Disney World (ahem) Tradition!!! That will be one of those times I’ll have to be just Dad, hmm? Maybe the two of us can dance beneath the sky to a little “Drunk On You,” which is all I’ll ever be. I think it’s rather strange that I want to be a stand-up guy, a superhero. Yeah, and a million other things, and yet I get weak in the knees, butterflies with you even now. Staying awake is no longer a problem when I’m living my dreams, you know. I also don’t intend on sleeping even after midnight, if you know what I’m saying. Yes, the kids are still around, so keeping it clean.

Anyway, you know how I am with being HAPPY, forever, and always. I’m glad, I’m satisfied, hell I even talked about being good. Geez, many years ago, it was always another day. One more year, one more day didn’t make a difference “Endure and Survive.” However, here we are at “The Closing of The Year.” Should I cool it with the music and movie musings? You tell me I better not, right? So how will I be a better man than the one that I am at the moment? I’m the man that is currently planning my first book of the new year. What will be my first song? Of course, there are some things I want to remain. Kissing You, not that I keep track, but there’s always room for one more kiss. A night in your arms. We’re counting how many kids already?

Looks like I’m entering the new year as confusing as ever, but happy is different. Happy is good, happy works okay, A Happy New Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 180 ~Don’t Be Fated To Lies~

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I’m sensing a pattern when it comes to my body these rules. Today is more like what I allow into my mind, heart, and soul. I do plenty to protect my eyes, and I always have my earphones in, and why is that. “Don’t Be Fated To Lies,” I can’t hear you.

Monday, December 28, 2020

Gospel 180 ~Don’t Be Fated To Lies~

Hundred And Sixty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s not a lie. In a way, I look at it as having less than $20.00 in the bank. The money is there, only I can’t access it yet. I could tell you what’s in my closet right now. Let’s say that I’m missing a few essential parts; that’s all, ha. However, I have never been one for the philosophy of AHEM, “Fake it till you make it.” On the other side of the coin, why believe that I’m doomed when it comes to going to work? Worse is walking around like Faith Seed. “I know you’ve heard stories about me.”

As always (sigh), I want to apologize for being so down, but that’s the thing. The new year is almost here, and for right now, there’s no story to tell. Now I could say that’s because of time-travel. It’s still the 27th… this week will be hard. My parents didn’t tell stories. To be fair, I would choose nothingness over the things they say at the Day Job. Say it with me, Madam Justice “Humiliations Galore.” How many fights have I had with one of my managers “silently.” Will didn’t say that. Now he wishes you would shut the fuck-up. My little Dæmon sits here without a word, yet I know I could be a better dad. So what I carry him downstairs. I pay for his heart medication, and he convinced me to give him hot dogs along with treats. He sleeps in my bed nightly. Yeah, I’m a pretty crappy father, aren’t I?

I won’t lie to you, Madam Justice. “Lies of Omission?” Okay, yes, but the things that make me feel Muy Bueno, like a million bucks or even blissful. Remind me to shop Amazon for a new outfit. Anyway, those things people say are BAD. Those people, I believe, are liars. At least that’s what I want to speak. With my OLDS, I want to say that I do exist. They would fire back, “yeah, your name is on these bills.” I sound like an ungrateful bastard, don’t I? Pardon my French this afternoon. More importantly, pardon their lies about me. I should now have this conversation with the man in the mirror. His lies are the hardest because he goes out and listens to everyone. The Devil Is A Lie. Don’t Be Fated To Lies.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 178 ~Willing A Plan B~

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A quiet Christmas and a quieter day after. Someday excuse me one day; I hope they’ll be some bleeps and bloops around the house. Maybe my kids might play outside as I did, or they’ll be reading and yell at authors. “Willing A Plan B.” Plan A’s better

Saturday, December 26, 2020

Gospel 178 ~Willing A Plan B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or so I’ve been planning for a while. Okay, so one sentence before the bad this morning. Well, it can’t be any uglier than the stuff going on in the country, right? My one big gripe about today is I meant to wake up earlier, ha. Plenty of motivations say things like, you have to make a plan, set goals, let’s not talk about dreaming. My Dæmon and I do far too much of that—neither one of us imagining sugarplums dancing in our heads. Now I’m going to have to look up a sugarplum; wow.

Yesterday wasn’t so much, but I’m going to tell the whole truth. My only real plan for Christmas Day was waking up at 7:00 AM.

Say it with me, Fiddler on the Roof fans (ahem) TRADITION!!! I also made cooked shrimp and baked potato for dinner. I’ll cook steak someday.

This brings me to my point but let’s continue with the Christmas recap. I talked to Lady Sophia, who has inspired me to write, SIGH “Happy.” I’m not talking a full story, somewhere around 7500 words. It could also be the ongoing Christmas novel reading. Of course, I took a nap; went shopping at Amazon for Indiana Gone and the Dæmon. You know my favorite TWO. I caught Ragnar the Terrible in Far Cry 5. Um, I got back into watching “Into The Badlands.” When I was young, I planned on being a Kung-Fu Master.

Again my point. I want to become some legendary writer, and I should read, of course. Still, I can’t get it up to write a happy story. Hell, I love zombies but won’t write a new intro for The Walking Dead guild. Now I talk to you and the girls daily, but I’m sitting in bed. Yeah, Plan B is I’m going to be unloading trucks for the rest of my life. It makes me think of what Will Smith said that having a Plan B distracts from Plan A.

Our Founding Fathers to Rick Grimes, and Marcus “DBH.” Liberty, Victory, Freedom, or Death. Hemingway said to write the truest sentence. The Beatles sang about taking a sad song and making it better. Is it a coincidence that the story I’m reading now has a Jude? Yeah, but I’ve written so much sadness to downright evil. A Tale of Innocence?

“Happy,” Willing A Plan B.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 177 ~It’s Christmas, Willie B~

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Do you really want to know what I’m doing on Christmas morning? Dreaming might be a good way to say it. Plus, everyone knows I don’t go a day without reading and writing, though today, Gee Whiz, It’s Christmas. It’s Christmas, Willie B

Friday, December 25, 2020

Gospel 177 ~It’s Christmas, Willie B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so Merry Christmas. Fair Warning, today of all days, but I am a writer, “I give the truth scope.” I don’t like to lie, but today will be a work of utter and complete FICTION. Please understand, My Lady, this is what I want for Christmas. Yet, I can’t help but be honest (cough) negative? If it wasn’t Christmas, we would be discussing the language of Will. Next time, right? Instead, I woke up after a solid seven hours of sleep. I read, had hot chocolate, I’m listening to Christmas Tuneage…

NEAR Future, Will’s Christmas Story:
“Did you get any sleep last night?” My Love asks.

“A few minutes, maybe,” I sigh.

Too few, to be honest, and I don’t mean to be a downer, but I’m no handyman. Everyone deserves to spend Christmas with their family, so of course, I was left to my own devices. With three daughters, a son, one on the way, and my Dæmon. That leaves a lot of them to be put together for today.

And you, baby?” I inquire.

“Missed you but good,” she muses, sharing a soft kiss.

“Good,” I respond, pulling her gently as she smiles down.

“This good you speak of, it will be my doing as well,” she quotes from a movie, A Knight’s Tale. “Now read your book; the kids are already up too.”

Already I can hear their pitter-patter footsteps and their laughter. As they play by the tree even from the bedroom.

A few hours later, I’m stuffed but still wide awake. Boys marry girls that remind them of their mothers. Well, My Love can definitely cook like my Mom. Christmas brunch, maybe dinner, I don’t know how I’ll eat another bite today. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, chicken wings, ham, a literal feast.

“Katniss, Tris, Ember, Four,” my Mom croons, hugging her grandkids.

“Hey,” Tobias scoffs, knowing I name the majority of my kids from books, in this case, Divergent Tobias aka Four.

“Tobias,” she laughs as my Dæmon runs to her too.
It’s my family, Mom, sister, nephews, my BFF with hubby.

It’s been a good day. My wife would kill me if I said, “Another day.” Only I have all I ever wanted, especially when she slips back into the bedroom wrapped in a red bow.

“Eat your heart out, Santa.”

Flash fiction… Gee Whiz, It’s Christmas. It’s Christmas, Willie B

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 175 ~Payday, Will’s Favorite Holiday…~

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Every day, “How are you,” another day, even with Emergence, or Free Candy, and what about Christmas. When I get massive amounts of green one day, I’d like to think I can afford to bring a tree inside. I can now but Payday, Will’s Favorite Holiday yep

Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Gospel 175 ~Payday, Will’s Favorite Holiday…~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now and still making one more dollar cue Homer drool. Now you know I’m not one for the holidays. Long story short, PEOPLE. During this time of the year, you might call me Mr. Grinch, Scrooge, or “Cross.” Didn’t care for “Scrooged.” Bless Indiana Gone for trying her best. She did send me a Christmas card. Now don’t tell her I told you, but she did forget about MY “Emergence Day.” Okay, so that’s the point, hmm. I never tell anyone. Hers is Star Wars Day, oh, um, a good holiday ha.

Anyway, so I say people, but I should also say with money, things get complicated. Take now, It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, as they say. Yesterday I envisioned the Christmastime I hope to share with my family someday. Okay, one day, motivations. However, I shared the truth of my current situation. There isn’t a tree up, no lights, no wrapped gifts, we’ll get to that. There isn’t any “Roast Beast” in the fridge. Truth is, I’m still living, for the most part, with leftover Turkey. I don’t mean to complain so much. Inspector Echo, I have money. Is it all this talk in the news lately about stimulus this and that? The idea that I’m beginning to believe Serra Hyundai (assholes) pardon my French has been lying to me. My biggest shame is that I haven’t even bought my Dæmon a gift.

I shouldn’t talk about gifts because that reminds me of Emergence Day. Hell, I should probably put Gears of War on my Wish List. Okay, you already know that Emergence Day is the worst day of my life, and it’s why I spend most of it in hiding, hating life. Now, if I cared to make a list of worst holidays, after Emergence and Christmas would be Valentine’s Day. What, am I trying to be in love at some point. And again, I’m not exactly buying gifts, AHEM, two. Let’s not put women and any money in the same idea. Where will that lead to? Besides wanting a family and what about taking kids to trick or treat. I don’t need little monsters at my door when kids scare the crap out of me anyway.

So I’m keeping people away and money in my pocket. I don’t need the ghosts for Payday, Will’s Favorite Holiday.

I Will Have No Fear