Tag: Man

Gospel 026 ~Don’t Underestimate Your Own Insignificance~

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Do you matter, if I asked the Day Job, I’m nowhere near ESSENTIAL, I know plenty of women who think I’m the worst thing for asking, “how are you?” I look at myself in the mirror, I should go back to bed. “Don’t Underestimate Your Own Insignificance.”

Monday, July 27, 2020

Gospel 026 ~Don’t Underestimate Your Own Insignificance~

Hundred And Forty-Seven Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how many others can I name besides Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos? It feels good to get down to brass tacks once again because I finished my book this morning. I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it… a book that no one will ever discover. Hell, I even set it up for a trilogy. Possibly with that UK blonde, I was talking about last night and Reagan Kathryn. I’m one in a million men that want to well… I think I have written enough sex talk for a while, or have I? I’m kidding, hmm?

Only this afternoon, while I was contemplating going to the store, I saw a picture of Momokun. It was one of her lewdest, and I wanted to say something about her lips. Now, this brings me to my point today. If I had said something like that, she would have blocked me, deleted me, something. How many messages, though, do you think she gets like that? You know one of my favorite tunes is The Man by Aloe Blacc. I’m not anyone exceptional, Madam Justice, and I know this goes against all my motivations, but I’m nobody. You know I’m always saying I want to be a better man, but most people see me is either the ant or the monster. I’m either not worth looking at. A sign of things to come, or I’m the worst thing to happen.

So I get used to being nothing, I accept it. Then it’s like I tell a girl she’s pretty and wham, bam, damn. Don’t get me wrong I know I’ve gone overboard with many a girl, I take responsibility. Look at something like OnlyFans, though. I’m again a number in the heard if I ignore a girl, so what. If I give them attention, I’m usually paying for it. You peek at any of my social accounts, and I am a pervert extraordinaire. Then again, who is paying attention to me? I go back and forth even here, Madam Justice. I can’t tell you everything because the moment that I do as the song goes, sigh, I’m a Bad Man.

Where’s the middle ground ever? How can I be someone who exists without being someone everybody will hate or fear? It’s easier to be nobody. So why am I writing?

Such are delusions of grandeur… Don’t Underestimate Your Own Insignificance.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 024 ~Nights Of The Willies~

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Good night or more like good morning? Will I actually get to bed before 12 A.M. come Sunday? I have 2800 more words to go with the novel, so it has been one productive ass week. For something, I’ll never publish. “Night Of The Willies”

Saturday, July 25, 2020

Gospel 024 ~Nights Of The Willies~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but to be completely honest, I’ve about finished another story, thank you. As of my last count, I am now 2800 words away from the finish line. Only I still doubt I’ll get a decent night’s sleep tomorrow or today seeing how it’s 2:15 A.M. now.

As Ted Mosby put it “Nothing Good Happens After 2 A.M.” I believe it was Todd Chrisley that said something about 12 A.M. as well.

“Your curfew is 12, cuz ain’t nothing open after midnight except legs and the ER, and you’re gonna stay out of both of them.” –

On a personal note, Lady Lu, all I want is to get six hours of sleep and not have My Dæmon be confused some mornings.

Hell, I work these late nights to avoid the horrible days at the Day Job. So how is that working out for me, hmm? Do I owe some thanks to NO FAP though I was ready to break again? It would be something if I was having nightmares or something. The only thing I hate on these nights is finally going to bed and seeing the blue creep outside my window. I know I shouldn’t be putting that sort of negativity out into the world. Be careful what you wish for My Lady. At this point, I want more of the Simple Things, thank you, Mr. Huynh. Now, how many white men have I taken advice from in the past few minutes? Again Ted Mosby, Todd Chrisley. Oh, Mr. Huynh’s country singing voice belonged to Randy Travis from Hey Arnold.

Anyway, I would settle for a clean house for starters. I was going to say something else, but I suddenly got a touch of paranoia. Okay, so I’m writing because I hate my job and don’t want to be scared anymore. Nothing that I’ve written tonight is going to help me overcome that. Oh, and if I haven’t said enough about writing, I jumped the gun this afternoon. I tell you all the time I lie to Camp NaNoWriMo and stay up all night, making up for it. So in bed this afternoon, I accidentally marked I was finished with my novel. Don’t worry, I immediately erased the entry, but that didn’t stop them from giving me the badge. At least it will be right by today or tomorrow. Now shouldn’t I be grateful that I had this whole week to do something I love? Yeah, Lady Lu, that’s funny.

When will these long nights’ end? Nights Of The Willies.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 021 ~Will Knows His Writes~

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I don’t think I offended anybody tonight or more like this morning. That is unless Cherry or a few other ladies suddenly take an interest in Camp NaNoWriMo. Still, I clocked my 5000 words, counting this. Will Knows His Writes

Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Gospel 021 ~Will Knows His Writes~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I am also becoming a night owl. How mad was I last night that I had zoned out? No real sleep, and by the time I realized I had been in some sort of fog, it was daylight already. My Dæmon was so confused, and what’s keeping me up, hmm?

For two nights straight, I have been working on “For A Fine, Cherry Spread.” 5000 words a day Inspector Echo, that’s what I promised myself, especially with the Day Job. Next week is going to be Hell, but let’s focus on this one. How about only tonight or this morning to be sure. Eric Thomas says something to the tune of AHEM, we don’t sleep when tired, we sleep when done. By the time we have our chat, I expect to see daylight again. I do all of this for a story that I’ll never publish, that pisses me off and punishes me. I told you it cost me my friendship with Cherry. Last night while procrastinating, I noticed I lost another friend. At least I haven’t been thinking much about MILF Dos lately. I’m into my fourth week of NO FAP (24 days, 7 hr, 1 min. 32 sec).

I would say this is a benefit, but again what’s it all for? So that I can lie to Camp NaNoWriMo? I lied about those days I clocked in 100 words because I wanted my badges. Tonight I told them I wrote 4600 words. Yes, I did Inspector Echo, but I only had 4000 before midnight, so I added 600, which explains why I’m late talking to you. I have to catch up. On Thursday, which it is now, I should have 37,099 words. As it stands, I have 33,400. Nobody would know or care if I gave up or cheated through creation. Only like Inky Johnson, I can’t cheat. I just admitted to doing that? 100 words, no writing. Writing 600 more past midnight?

I walked out on the Day Job this week, so I won’t be working for or writing a paycheck next week. Inspector Echo, that’s not my story. Sometime this afternoon, I got jealous of Eric Vall. He’s on “Succubus Lord 16” on top of everything else he’s written, but I know my lane, don’t I?

I’m sorry, but I’m writing regardless. Will Knows His Writes.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 020 ~Will Is Sky High~

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I’m not going to make a good husband overnight, hell I’m not even much of a good man, more like a frat boy, or a kid that’s had the house to himself for a few years. So how am I ever going to get some angel? Will Is Sky High.

Tuesday, July 21, 2020

Gospel 020 ~Will Is Sky High~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I can promise you it won’t be for dancing. Let me go ahead and tell you, I’ll never stop using song lyrics daily. Who knows, you might get me on the dancefloor someday. For now, though, as the song goes, So if I hold you in my arms, I won’t dance. What can I say, baby girl? I still quite enjoy our Saturday morning listening sessions in bed. Only the thing I want to talk about is getting up and about and during the plague era, well easier than done?

For example, as I began, I am a billionaire, and so are you. I’ve said this before, but I’ll stop buying the cheapest sneakers that get soaked in the grass every morning. You know when I’m walking the kid. The fanciest shoes I own, I bought for my best HUMAN friend’s wedding. I’ll also remember what pants size I wear. Not trying to sound like a little boy, but I go to work, the store, and hopefully the movies. When I win an AEE award, I’ll still be wearing a pair of jeans. Now how did I dress on our wedding day? Okay, before I go all pop culture geek. I’m still going to get lost in books, both writing, and reading. I have plenty of games on my phone, and I do get distracted. Well, I did do five thousand words today for Camp NaNoWriMo, so that is something.

Speaking of which, I’ll start buying more shirts that aren’t branded with NaNoWriMo. Yes, I’m pretty proud of being a part of that. I buy you plenty of stuff, but you’re so beautiful I can’t help myself, and it could be worse… shoes (shudders). I want to have control of my health for you and the kids. I swear I’ve been meaning to see a dentist. Did I mention how much I like masks? Not funny, yeah, because I want to see some zombies. Lastly, I want to be able to tell you things, to speak out loud. People find my writing confusing, but my silence every day, for some reason, is scary. You’re not scared, are you, My Love? I’m not comparing you to a summer’s day exactly, but as I say, I love my little boy like pancakes. I love you like Star Wars. Will Is Sky High.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 019 ~Three Gates, True, Necessary, Kind~

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I wish people would make up their minds. Either I never talk, I talk too much, and what was I crying about a couple weeks ago, another block, getting deleted, etc. Not to mention, my words are all over the place. “Three Gates, True, Necessary, Kind.”

Monday, July 20, 2020

Gospel 019 ~Three Gates, True, Necessary, Kind~

Hundred And Forty-Six Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I wonder does anyone with so much money live by this rule. For the record, this comes from a grander law. I read once about the things that come out of your mouth. As you can see or hear, most days, I prescribe to the language of the Men In Black.

“Silence your native tongue” MIB

“YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!” – A Few Good Men

Let’s start with the truth. Every conversation we have here is about the non-fiction. Of course, there are things I don’t say and stuff I cannot show. Hell Madam Justice, this is a confession more for Inspector Echo, but let me tell you. I’ve been in juvenile detention once upon a time. Never been to jail as an adult, but I’m like Tom DuBois. I mean, I have no intention of ever seeing a “real” prison because of what I’ve been taught goes on there. People can’t handle my truth, and at times I can’t either. I will instead be silent than utter a lie. Now I do lie but again like Tom, only to save my ass at times. Madam Justice, I spend far too much time adhering to what others think of me; to fight it all though?

“I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.” Scarface

It’s not necessary. I say way too much in the form of making conversation. Remember, when I told everyone that my Grandfather caught the Coronavirus (COVID-19). Did I talk about my little sister being in quarantine too? It was accurate, and people do need to know, judging by the state of the country. Now, what about anything to do with Yabbos or my penis. Both necessary in my life but not in anybody else’s, so what’s left for me? I can talk about my Dæmon. Yep, when everyone’s having babies.

Kindness though? I don’t think I ever wrote this rule down, but it goes like so. Do You: Harm No One. Of course, I see exceptions to that rule as with most. I don’t like to hurt anyone outside of BDSM play or even vanilla. Now that’s too much information, I know Madam Justice. It’s like looking up Cindy Aurum, and next thing you know, she’s in my erotica or porn, I guess. What if I did live by today’s rule? I surely would be a monk, but would I have peace. Well, along with honesty, necessity, and kindness, yes, peace but speaking it? I don’t know how Madam Justice. Three Gates, True, Necessary, Kind.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 017 ~Ma’am This Sucks Will~

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Another Late Night/Early Morning, and this should be pillow talk or rather be conked out at the moment instead. I won’t be dreaming about some girl because I wrote her into my story, but what kind of man am I? Ma’am This Sucks Will, I think

Saturday, July 18, 2020

Gospel 017 ~Ma’am This Sucks Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I had to succeed at NO FAP. Now I am sorry, Lady Lu, that everything relates to my “monster” nowadays. Didn’t somebody say once that life is worth more than a penis? I’m not counting that as a bad word. Lady Lu, whatever I’m doing with my life, I want to be more of a man than I am today. How I panicked today because somebody broke the ATM, and I couldn’t get my card back. When the people at the BBQ place called me Ma’am again. Hell, I’m still buying clothes for some future submissive I’ll have soon…

The whole damn country is falling apart, and all I can worry about is me. Yesterday, I was telling Sophia about all the lists I’m writing about my problems. I’m also itchy, I have heartburn, and as always I’m tired as all Hell thank you. I don’t even want to dare to glance at my Six Impossible Things because what have I got done? I’m keeping it in my pants, and my story is taking off. 2400 words a day, and of course, I’m not catching up because I should be doing 5000 words, but what did I do today? As I said, I freaked out at the bank, but I did get my card back. I continue to feel like I’m getting in everybody’s way wherever I am. Tonight will be one more, where I don’t get enough sleep, so what about tomorrow. I pay for wrestling, but how much can I tell you?

Things to be grateful for, so I get off this pity train. As with my gratitude, I have enough to eat for a few days. I haven’t looked at much porn today, but as soon as I say that, SIGH. You and I Lady Luna will finish this conversation, but I wish I had more to tell you. Another character is in my book, Charity Zoey Mars. She’s another English girl, so Cherry won’t be lonely. With that, I should probably say something about my country? I’m a black man living in America. Who is going to hear my voice, I ask. Do I want them to at all considering the things I have to say? Now that takes me back to my point, I’m not a man when I speak… Ma’am This Sucks Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 016 ~Lists, Giving Me Willies~

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The plot of my fictional story is coming along all on its own. As far as my real life, though, grocery lists, lists of excuses, the Six Impossible Things that I’m never doing. It’s not Fear but rather Laziness. Lists, Giving Me Willies

Friday, July 17, 2020

Gospel 016 ~Lists, Giving Me Willies~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I have many sources of income. Yet again, I become a broken record because of all the ways I wish to accomplish this. I want to write books, own brothels and have bikini babes. Yes, I’ve been listening to Tony Montana, you know the money, the power, the woman. Right now, though, I would kill for a pizza, which brings me to tonight. I couldn’t get it up to find three toppings I liked to have on it now.

How about the lists of names for characters in my book? It was a miracle I even worked on it at all. Still, I got around to adding Lilith Cassandra Swann, played by Tifa Lockhart. There’s also Aurora Leanna Till, who’s supposed to be Aerith Gainsborough. Do those names sound SEXY? What about all the women I’ve wanted to cave to? I swear I haven’t thought about MILF Dos in a while. Of course, what I mean by that is I haven’t been drooling over her pictures, which I deleted off my phone. I still have Cherry’s, but I’m not salivating over her either. I did download some Final Fantasy VII Porn and some more Momokun. Now, this is a blessing in disguise. See, the ISP is sucking at their jobs, so the internet connection has been crappy. No Wi-Fi, no “adult entertainment” except what I got already. No worries?

On the other hand, what about that big stack of emails and aren’t I going to be busy tomorrow. No, I don’t need to write my book, let me note every problem I’m having in this life at the moment. Lady Sophia, doesn’t that make perfect sense. Isn’t it working on my Six Impossible Things every Sunday? There’s so much I need to buy for the house, but I didn’t start today. I did meet the lawn guy again. One way or another, some white guy is getting my money, but I could have told him no, right? Speaking of even more money, I’m losing track of all the Submissive clothing I bought. I broke down and bought Tifa’s dress and not a girl to be seen in my house. I’m not writing love stories, though, as my current novel has made quite obvious all on its own for today.

One day I’ll write DONE on Lists, Giving Me Willies.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 014 ~Will’s Tiff With Tifa~

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Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Gospel 014 ~Will’s Tiff With Tifa~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford to be all Hoity-Toity. My grandmother told me pride was my sin though we’ve discussed this before. Here’s My Big Three Inspector Echo, Lust, Anger, and Sloth. Already I’m off-topic because I want to talk about Tifa Lockhart duh. So forgive me, Inspector, getting carried away.

Now, as has been the plot of my life story these past few weeks AHEM years… I’m Yabba Dabba Doo for Yabbos. I watched some of Malibu’s Most Wanted, don’t be hatin’. Anyway, Tifa reminds me of a girl, no a woman, well a MILF I once knew. SIGH, seeing as how I can’t see the MILF anymore, I’ve spent plenty of my money on Tifa’s Yabbos. I swear with everything going on with NO FAP (15 days, 17 hr, 50 min, 45 sec). Inspector Echo I have been tempted this MILF and Cherry $500.00 to see their Yabbos. How do I mitigate this coming disaster? How much “ART” have I bought? I’m still staring at Tifa’s Mature Dress on Amazon. I’m thinking about signing up for Momokun’s OnlyFans. Because I can pretend her Yabbos are Cherry’s. I’ve even looked up for the record English BBW tits (pardon my French).

Secondly, you know I’m not one for charity. I don’t understand why the low should give to the lowest. It’s nothing wrong with it, but the high and mighty have everything. With a mere snap of their fingers and/or wallets, they could bring utopia. Put your dollars where your mouth is, right? I give to the following groups, those that support stray dogs and cats and people with pets. The other being girls that… say it with me, Show Me Their Yabbos and everything else.

Lastly, what about money for myself? I’m not starving. I have thousands, not close to ten, but I get by. However, I get mad that I’m walking around in $9.00 shoes to walk My Dæmon. My $20.00 boots are for work. I sleep so much because I don’t eat so well as I won’t spend the cash, which brings me right back to Tifa. I told you I still want her dress, the shoes, damn I have a whole closet full of Submissive Wear. Now only if I were Emeric Marceaux with Ivory, or had a Rainey Summer Day hmm.

Sorry, I’m falling for Tifa Lockhart. Will’s Tiff With Tifa.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 013 ~He Willie Loves You~

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They say diamonds are forever, what about books? I got mad at someone and gave them a piece of mind… on my way to 100,000 words. Someone else got around 50,000. The woman I’ll marry, though? Sing it with me, “A NeverEnding Story.” He Willie Loves You

Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Gospel 013 ~He Willie Loves You~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now because I refuse to think otherwise. As is my love for you. If that’s the case, though, why am I still so afraid of losing it, of losing you. The past few weeks, I’ve been hurting over some loss friends… please hear me out. When people leave me, there’s no grouping of my sins, no I’m giving up on you, not even goodbye. So here I am writing the things I needed to say. When I stop, though, I mean there are no more words, links, or when I forget to check for days on end. Writers both fear and relish these two words, “The End.”

“I will eviscerate you in fiction. Every pimple, every character flaw. I was naked for a day; you will be naked for eternity.” – Geoffrey Chaucer – A Knight’s Tale

I’ve told you that writing is my dream and you are too, My Love. Only you’re here, you’re mine and novel-writing, well the words keep coming. My motivations might say you have to love the pain, a writer sits and bleeds upon the page. One day though, let’s assume the current subject matter will fall away, and they’ll be something more. You’ve watched me become one with the music, a slave to the work, a man of silence. I always say this, I’m a hard man to know. That’s one more reason I write and like smart girls, not that you should spend your life learning about me. So that’s a lie because I want to know everything about you. They say that if women came with instructions, no man would read it. Instead, Baby Girl, I choose to write it every day I can.

“Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature.” – 500 Days of Summer

It’s not about the money I know, but I want to write the checks and read the bills. Our kids had a library before they even knew how to spell their names. I see my firstborn with his little beard and his every hair turning gray being read to. I look upon all the love letters and poems that I wrote to you. No, you didn’t throw them away, laugh, or use them in a court case at some point, I wonder. You read my book and see those words The End or hell To Be Continued, and you ask how many words will it take? With one, it might take 50,000 thank you, NaNoWriMo. Another might take double or triple. You, My Love, are the song on repeat, my new dream. You, My Baby Doll, will be my never-ending story. He Willie Loves You.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 012 ~Difference Between Sense And Censor~

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If I could write something, like American Beauty or if I had billions of dollars. What about if I catered to the religious, who speak of hated and have holy books full of sex, and hell, it doesn’t make sense to me. Difference Between Sense And Censor

Monday, July 13, 2020

Gospel 012 ~Difference Between Sense And Censor~

Hundred And Forty-Five Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means everyone wants a piece of me, in my wildest dreams. I can imagine someone going over these conversations with a fine-tooth comb. Have I gone too far in a “few” places? I have often enough, though you may have noticed changes here or there. Didn’t I, at one point, just say boobs, breasts, or even dirty mom tits? Thank you, MILF Dos. Now I say “Yabbos” mainly because of Thora Birch and Mena Suvari, which brings me to my point. American Beauty is a good movie… Hol’ Up A Minute?

Okay, there are three ways I want to come at this. First, as I was saying in American Beauty Jane Burnham and Angela Hayes. Thora and Mena, respectively. They play high school girls and Lester Burnham pervs on Angela. Meanwhile, Ricky Fitts gets to film Jane’s Yabbos, which she shows off. Now I can say I like this movie and that makes sense. Now what I’m feeling right this second, that’s me censoring myself. I won’t finish my thoughts, Madam Justice, because what? Am I ashamed, what about what the world teaches, having good sense?

“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”
― by William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure

That brings me to my big sister. I’ve quoted this often enough that she said, you can’t build a strip club next to a school. I’ve heard killers speak about “no women, no kids.” Madam Justice, you know how I want to live my life. I don’t hide it from anybody. At the end of the day, somehow, I want to become a pornographer. As Dennis Hof did, I want to own brothels. Hell, one day, I want a modeling agency. All of this starts with my writing, though. I want to write everything from something like Wanderlust. To Sex Zombies, Begging For It, Lolita.

There’s that twinge again. Why is it that it makes so much sense to me to stay small? Okay, this is the third thing; I censor everything I am in the name of good taste. I abhor liars Madam Justice which explains why I hate myself, but it’s a lose-lose situation. If I tell the truth, I get blocked. If I lie, I’m in a box because the real me is dead. I know enough to play it safe, but as the song goes AHEM, why can’t I be me.

He doesn’t make sense but Difference Between Sense And Censor.

I Will Have No Fear