Tag: Motivation

Log 089 ~Who’s The Boss Will~

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Last week it was the idea of speaking at the Day Job, now I have to talk as the CEO of Second Circle Creations and as an author but as the song goes “Who gon’ pray for me?” Who’s The Boss Will, well I hate my managers, time to live the Dream Job

Saturday, September 28, 2019

Log 089 ~Who’s The Boss Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and I’ll be changing that come Sunday. One more thing in my pressing matters that I talked about yesterday. From being a slave to the Day Job. To stealing the plans for the Death Star, (my cash is in a Death Star). Then I am a friend to “Indiana Gone.” What about my Firstborn; now he is going to be pissed. All of that and now I have this moment. Well, minus the girl and getting up on time. Today though I don’t have time to lounge around for two hours.

Who’s the boss, well I did mention my Firstborn? He needed water, of course, so I stopped and got a bottle for myself. I cleaned his bathroom pad. In less than an hour he’ll be chomping at the bit for his walk. Parenthood but my child is the boss, and he knows of course. Okay in speaking of my dog what about the Basic Bitch (LANGUAGE)? I still hate to admit that I quit talking to you for so many years, Lady Luna. One girl calls me skeevy and here we are heading into the third year; what is the point? Hell, Porn has a point though I don’t have time for that right now either. Is it women or my penis that’s making the calls for me right now. I should say emails or texts, and there’s still time. Did I feel this way meeting Indiana Gone at first?

The Man In The Mirror is usually my Sunday gig. You know who I want to meet now though, The CEO of Second Circle Creations. He’s the man that writes the stories, picks the girls, directs the films, and God knows what else. Hell, I am not a man for prayer, but I could use some. I know plenty might say that about the men I look to as heroes. Lady Lu I’m not even getting that far right now, this is only a modeling job. Something I’m putting a lot of stake in and Tom Bilyeu would say the fear is right. It proves I care. Still a few parts of me wants to be the man that could win by words alone. Didn’t I say third year? I wish I could be like Katie O’Shaughnessy on YouTube. Now if I could do something beautiful and positive. My life, lust, Who’s The Boss Will?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 082 ~Will Sell Those F-Bombs~

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If I had to speak at the “Day Job” on the daily, it would be nothing more than obscenities; strangely enough, one job makes me want to drop those bombs, and another is only a colorful word. “Will Sell Those F-Bombs”

Saturday, September 21, 2019

Log 082 ~Will Sell Those F-Bombs~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but I’m not exactly the best salesman on Earth. Yes, I’ve read a bit more of Dennis Hof’s book, my second reading. Now he was far from perfect, but he loved to? Anyway, I’m still trying to keep my mind off that particular F. The thing is my life revolves around three. FEAR, FAILURE, and FEMALES, the order changing depending on my mood. So how is that mood right now; I wish I could practice another F, forgetfulness to be honest.

Let’s focus on FAILURE, and how so, it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours. Hell again with my motivations but shouldn’t I focus on gratitude. I’m grateful that I had the money to buy that file uploader. How about having the courage to forge down this path? It’s a mixed bag this, fake it till you make it approach. Of course, all the motivations say that you have to believe first and foremost. While I’m going off on phrasing, what about spending money to make it Lady Lu? In the book Think And Grow Rich or The Secret talked about you can’t control every thought but if you feel happy? Money and Friendship, I care for “Indiana Gone” but her wedding SIGH. I’m not experiencing the Fear but the expense of it all, being a man.

Rule 102 and 001, a man shouldn’t be afraid all of the time. FEAR is my constant and what gets me moving along. How much stuff did I have to get rid of only so I could add that upload form? What about the Craigslist Ad or even Facebook, afraid to be me and why?

Like Marcus put it “Bitches man” (LANGUAGE). Must I be so crass, I tell Cherry about language, there’s a time for it of course. Anyway, contrary to popular belief, I respect FEMALES. Nobody asks why I do what I do ever. I’ve said it before I’ve written for guys for their girls. The internet knows enrichment with porn. I’m not even going down that road at the moment, but yes, I like to add beauty to the world. Some like guns, some cars, and we all love a bit of money don’t we Lady Lu. Bullets, Booze, Bullion, and Babes, pick your poison. Like Nicolas Cage in Lord of War, I have to empty the plane and be a necessary evil. Will Sell Those F-Bombs.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 075 ~How Many Wills Later~

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As the song goes Gotta Have The Money if you want to get the honey and that I have, well until October perhaps or the next pretty face; still makes me feel like a schoolboy but what’s my age again? “How Many Wills Later”

Saturday, September 14, 2019

Log 075 ~How Many Wills Later~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and it’s been one week since “The Day.” Well, that’s having faith that I will survive the rest of this day (Friday the 13th). Indiana Gone got me close to a machete for Christmas last year. Anyway, time to focus on one more revolution around the sun. Two weeks in and how close am I to that million? $10.00 down from this week and last. Still there’s life in me, haven’t even checked how long I’ve gone without Fapping. Oh and porn, only educational, or ripping off ExCoGi’s model pages right?

With all the writing I do, I’ve never written a will. I’m not suicidal but if there was a button to end it all right now? Yeah, I would press it by accident. I’ve announced I’m going to die over the years. There have been some attempts, but if I died today who would get all my stuff? Hell, how much am I offering models these days? Lady Lu that’s what nobody understands, that rush, adrenaline, motivation. Sex is one thing but when I got MILF Dos to take off her clothes. You know having that sort of power, I want more. It’s not like I’m going into photography anytime soon. How many times in one week have I told you about my studies? When I was back in school I never hungered for knowledge most days. History was my subject, and some science but they never teach you the fun stuff. The wrong word?

The things that make you proud that get you to say, I want to do that one day. I might not have the patience, which explains today. Once a week on Craigslist, posting would be $260.00. I paid more for my first model. Should math be my subject now? I hated that above all others. Didn’t stop me from wasting about an hour again, working on a model page. How many days has it been since I talked to Outskirts Press? As the song goes, “Cause I just wanna look good for you.” My novel and funny how they were barking until they got my money and now radio silence. Publishers along with the rest of the world since “The Day.” One more reason I call it that, the end of my existence Lady Lu. When anybody cares again I ask How Many Wills Later.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 068 ~I Will This Year~

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Here I am as the song goes, one more year and if you asked my honest opinion on whether I’m better or worse, well unlike our president I can freely admit that I messed up but next time? “I Will This Year.”

Saturday, September 7, 2019

Log 068 ~I Will This Year~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now or here’s hoping as right now it’s Friday. Last week I spoke about being on the stock exchange. If anything now is the time to take stock of my life. Hell on the previous “DAY” I sat in front of my TV eating expensive McDonald’s. I didn’t want to go out.

Today, “Friday” I took five hundred dollars and went to a strip club. I still have that same five hundred dollars. Don’t look at me like that Lady Lu. I did cut the grass, and I still have to clean the whole house tonight. I also picked up spaghetti sauce and more McDonald’s. The best “DAY” I had was years ago, feeling up “Okay” and then taking “Indiana Gone” to the movies. What this DAY will bring, I don’t want to know. I said before it’s like being back in high school bad grades and all. There was nothing to celebrate. For the most part, I’ve hidden it well. Damn my bank, Facebook, and even Team USA. So I’m not doing anything? I could go to the movies or out for Chinese. I could order a steak and baked potato. For once I could pay for porn. Like buying my first Fleshlight all over again.

Of course I should be in Reno. I told you all this before; my Red Dawn Purge Fantasy. So what’s my age again as the song goes? Better question, how will this new year be any different. Last year I said I would be sitting on a million. I could be looking at it right now. The only thing is, it’s on white paper instead of green. Alice wanted $200 for doing absolutely nothing, would serve me right. I spend $14.00 not to FAP. Years ago I paid $300 to do so in style, three sleeves, a case, and three tubes of lube. As I was listening to my motivations while cutting the grass again, they say Find Your Purpose. It’s been a year, and I still know what it is and the secret of life. It’s the least I can do to share such things with you.

Seek Out A Kingdom Worthy Of Your Soul

The Adult Entertainment Industry

Don’t make promises that you can’t keep. For now, all I know is I want to survive today and tomorrow. JSS, I Will This Year.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 049 ~The Greatest Teacher Failure Is~

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Master Yoda was wise, but the Jedi were wrong and didn’t I sell all my Star Wars games at somewhat, “Indian Gone” would gasp. Hey, I like money and what do I do with it anyway. “The Greatest Teacher Failure Is”

Monday, August 19, 2019

Log 049 ~The Greatest Teacher Failure Is~

Ninety-Eighth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, but not a billionaire. If you don’t know me by now as the song goes, I’m obsessed with money. Second is porn, and the third is making a list. Didn’t I say I need to record my temptations? Downloading a Riley Reid Porn and searching American Teen Lily Carter. As for globally, there’s this European model Alissa. What is it about brunettes or girls with dark hair? Not that I can leave out Kagney Linn Karter. Anyway, the fact that I’m talking to you Madam Justice is a victory.

Only today I’m supposed to talk about failure. In all honesty, all I’m getting is try harder. Should I listen to my motivations that always say, be grateful? One more list to put down. Every Sunday, I have my Six Impossible Things, which is true enough. Of those six currently, I’ve failed one. It’s Monday, and I didn’t renew my Firstborn’s membership. So I’m blessed to know exactly where he is, in his home. I didn’t read last night, but I’m ahead. I could still lose myself in a pornographic haze, but we’re having a conversation. I’m not looking at hundreds of emails. How about I can remember enough of my last read book to write a review. Yes, I fail plenty, but each day I should be thankful that I get another shot but yeah that list to write.

  1. Firstborn
  2. Writing
  3. Money
  4. Porn
  5. Lists
  6. Gaming

Money only edges out porn, and I’ll tell you why. I didn’t buy any TTB videos yesterday. The Cosplayer still has videos. Again I’m ignoring. I didn’t take money from my most significant investment to date heading out Nevada way. Talk about a failure I’m still cringing over. I hate letting pretty girls down. Here’s another list for you Fear, Failure, and Fapping (LANGUAGE). I’m always afraid, so I hate myself. Fapping, of course, feels fantastic, but the moment after I get failure. I despise failure but again a great teacher. Remember Detroit: Become Human when Connor died, and I dealt with it. In Heavy Rain, Ethan got arrested, and I restarted that part of the game. So I learned what not to do, or I learned losing still irks me somewhat, I don’t know. Like Think And Grow Rich?

My life is failing; will I start learning? The Greatest Teacher Failure Is

I Will Have No Fear

Log 042 ~Live Like There’s No Tomorrow~

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Am I going back to that, the world is going to end in “five minutes” mentality; if died today I would be embarrassed at everything, well other than reading another Tillie Cole novel but anyway. “Live Like There’s No Tomorrow”

Monday, August 12, 2019

Log 042 ~Live Like There’s No Tomorrow~

Ninety-Seventh Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, but I didn’t do two girls at the same time. Now that’s only for starters for if tomorrow never comes? Well, I’ve thought about that plenty of nights. Most nights I don’t ever plan on the morning. Okay, my knives and my car alarm say differently. Those are more for my son, though. My motivations say to start every morning with gratitude. I’m grateful Madam Justice I am. Still, I sometimes imagine waking up and starting all over again.

Do any of us wake up and live the day we would be proud to die? So I wake up this morning to the TWD Rewards people treating me like I’m STUPID. Until only now, I had forgotten about that concern. Besides talking to you, I could use a cappuccino and a slice of cheesecake. Worrying robs you of the joy you might have so I owe myself a slice. You know the days are wrong when you pray for a zombie apocalypse. Hell, I want the days I stand a chance in if anything. Again living those “five minutes” and the world comes to an end. I’ve lived far too many suicidal days. There was the day I had Taco Bell and fell asleep downing Nyquil pills attempting an overdose. I’ve starved myself for at least a week, and nobody gave a damn. I’ve studied poisons, weapons, I write dystopias ha. Ironic, I see tomorrow for everyone else but myself; I don’t live now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fqUrOuaPTE

If I could have today again, picture it as so. I wake up next to my beautiful wife. I go to my office, and we talk well more like Lady Sophia and me because it’s a Friday. My wife and I make love in the shower, and then she cooks breakfast. We both see the children off to school, while my firstborn does patrol of the Estate. I pop in on a few of my brothels see how business is going. I visit my studio and work on a movie. Then it’s off to interview the newest crop of models. I pick up my kids, and they tell me about good days at school. Home-cooked dinner, in a loving home. A book before bed then me and my wife ravish each other. Who would need another Saturday? Never enough time right Madam Justice but to Live Like There’s No Tomorrow.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 035 ~Nothing To Prove To Anybody~

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The lives we live or survive, some people have wealth, others have scars, some have only an inch of air in front of their face, and that in itself can be too much, why are they so deserving, am I? Nothing To Prove To Anybody.

Monday, August 5, 2019

Log 035 ~Nothing To Prove To Anybody~

Ninety-Sixth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, but you don’t have to believe that. How about the fact that I respect women? Sure doesn’t look that way right? What about that I do my best at the Day Job? The idea that I love my firstborn more than anything? Of course, the big one these days would be that I’m an innocent man. It’s 4 AM, and you know the reason I’m up. For the record, I did get about six hours of sleep, and I still haven’t checked Facebook yet.

Speaking of which, when I do post some political discord there, it’s what I believe. I’m not trying to prove I’m a Dem, Liberal, or anything, only that this is what I know. Hell like Jon Snow everyone says I know nothing, but he was just himself. The problem is he didn’t know who that was most of the time. I should stop comparing myself to him, though. As always I avoid the man in the mirror too. Yesterday though I had to shave and I saw all the grey hairs; how did I get so old not living? Even now it’s like I need permission to exist. I need to prove I have the right to such a thing. My Six Impossible Things list, I have to prove I’m a good father, a man, I get apps to try and hold myself accountable Justice.

What about September, am I going to make it to Nevada. $200.00 for a number I never use, how much do I spend on Brainbuddy, and I was checking out some Cosplayer. If anything I’m proving fear runs my life and I get that for free. Let’s not forget the other $250 for my book and even more for a cover. What about all the motivational speakers I listen to or the time spent lost in music wanting to feel brave. Don’t be brave, have a little common sense as one song goes. All this effort for people that don’t give a damn and hell I don’t either. That is until something hurts them like the hack job. Again being a dominant and a sadist I get turned on by pain but only that which I control. Pain proves we’re still alive, so why don’t I embrace all of it in my life Madam Justice.

The answer is still this, Nothing To Prove To Anybody.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 028 ~Always Be Prepared For War~

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Last week I talked about people giving orders, but I once heard in a game “a man chooses, a slave obeys” I never chose to be this way, no I was a slave of my looks, my words, my desires things that make me want to fight. Always Be Prepared For War ha

Monday, July 29, 2019

Log 028 ~Always Be Prepared For War~

Ninety-Fifth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, but I am not ready for power. Like today Madam Justice I was not prepared for war. Every day I gird myself for disappointment. I know that my days at the Day Job will bring about more humiliation. Last week was nothing but one fuck-up (LANGUAGE) after another worried about this week. In the morning, I tell myself I’ll wake up early to read, and then I cut my alarm off. I want to fight temptation, and then I have horrific FTWD fantasies. Worst thought I was not down for the cause, again ready for wickedness, winning, for war.

So what brought this on, my C-3PO feelings of being helpless. How do you even define helpless? “Unable to defend oneself or to act without help.” There’s “Uncontrollable,” I think that about covers it Madam Justice. No positive vibes today but I still no better than to wish harm. However, I couldn’t stop three girls from laughing at me. My General Manager continues to treat me like I’m retarded. The usual manager is useless and treats me as a child. Haven’t I mentioned he’s pretty touchy-feely? Weak, Pathetic, Useless, I’m going against all my motivations right now. If it wasn’t that, it was fucking anger (LANGUAGE) today, I wanted to fight no doubt. I tried to march into the GM’s office all day. “Look I’m leaving, I’m not some fucking retard, and not some damn virus” (YES AGAIN). It was like being back in school with both teams saying you take him he’s not wanted.

Is that why I’m taking what’s going on in my country so personally. From metal to a man that controls it, Magneto; I know what it’s like to be shit on for everything (MORE). It’s because you’re black, skinny, fucked up teeth, you wear the same clothes. I know what it’s like to wear a FUBU shirt (youth) and be sitting by yourself the very next day. I see how easy people have it, the laws. Still, because there is work to do people like me are considered ungrateful. Rule 13 states Power Is All That Matters. Like Markus in DBH, (still a great game) if people want to crack jokes and tear me down okay. Use their stones for fortresses, the pen and keyboard are my swords. Hellfire is how my armor’s forged;, they instilled it in the flesh. Always Be Prepared For War.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 027 ~Will You Name Me~

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Again more work I should be doing with Lady Sophia, but someone said “Life Finds A Way,” or if I want my kid to keep living the life he has and what about my other books these days. “Will You Name Me”

Sunday, July 28, 2019

Log 027 ~Will You Name Me~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now, and you should keep that same hustle if you want to be a billionaire. Big Dog, Big Nuts, as Lamar Davis would put it in GTA V. Last week we spoke a bit about some characters and yours. Lamar was a good one, and you’ve been lost some in Wolfenstein: Youngblood. *SIGH” Jessie and Sophie Blazkowicz along with Abby. How about getting back into DBH as well. I know you deserve a break after “Fangs For Coming” talk about becoming disillusioned. The blurb when over as expected, nonsense, nope to caring, and no characters. Hell, you barely found the title, might stick.

So that’s what today will be about, besides your list of failure, how’s that for success? You should be mowing the lawn but of course, yesterday was a bust, my fault. I make things so hard for you, I know. B III needs his meds, and you’ll get them. Of course, you’re also downloading oodles of porn like Sofi Ryan “Carpool Pickup.” Worst okay Megan Marx “Teeny Tiny Teen” Instagram. Before you forget Whitney Wright something or other and Carrie “Fuck Your Job” and “Model For Me.” As the song goes, “ It’s times like these, you learn to love again.” You’re not counting it as watching porn. (Didn’t even get hard) It’s work, research; adult entertainment is your purpose. So work on characters and yeah those Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Naming My Novel And Writing A Back Cover Of It
    Completed
  4. I AM Reviewing The Five
    Failed
  5. I AM Writing For NaNoWriMo, A New Novel
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Beauty in the Broken: A Diamond Magnate Novel by
    Charmaine Pauls Failed
  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
  3. I AM Naming My Novel And Writing A Back Cover Of Another
  4. I AM Reviewing The Five
  5. I AM Bringing My Email Inbox To Zero
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Beauty in the Broken: A Diamond Magnate Novel by
    Charmaine Pauls

Wies Andres Barringer (The Beast)
Once he was a guardian of the works of the First Master with knowledge of The Tools Of The Gods. After his home is destroyed in an attempt to contain “The Air of Aeolus” a.k.a. Project Levitation he was kidnapped. Serving the Mistress Director as an Executioner. Married to Briseis and “Canvas” to Skelly Kemper.

Briseis Rosalie Barringer (The Machine)
Former slave girl, bought by the Mistress Director as a wife to The Beast. After her first night taken, she is found to have an immunity to the virus, which creates more beasts. Hating her life at first, she loves The Beast above all others.

Skelly Horatio Kemper (The Artist)
Keeper of The Fangs of Momus. A former brain surgeon turned Tattoo Artist; he sketches the faces of The Beast victims. With both blood and ink, he scars and decorates The Beast’s back. Because of The Beast and Fangs, it’s possible to clone, human beings

Desdemona Autumn Price (Mistress Director)
A Beast herself she hides this fact from those she commands. Scornful of most men her most loyal are either women or Eunuchs. She uses The Beast to punish any who may oppose. She seeks to keep her powers and The Tools of The Gods.

Cassandra Katelin Holloway (The Believer)
Servant of one of The Salamanders from “Apocalypse Rush.” A true believer in her Master, “The Dragon.” Willing to die in his name but cares for other human lives. She is the second immune found, in part to sleeping with Dragon. Hates the Mistress Director.

Tegan Cassie Barringer
Little sister to Briseis and slave belonging to Skelly. Due to his service for the Mistress Director and his true love for Briseis he now possesses Tegan. She knows no other desire but quickly becomes conflicted with Skelly’s actions. Naïve about the world and how Briseis survives.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 021 ~Give Orders You Would Follow~

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Camp NaNoWriMo, well general NaNoWriMo says 50,000 words, so I get it done, Brainbuddy suggest a podcast, and I listen to a bit, and of course, B III demands his morning stroll, when will someone follow me. Give Orders You Would Follow

Monday, July 22, 2019

Log 021 ~Give Orders You Would Follow~

Ninety-Fourth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, and you can be too. Yeah, I sound like one of my many motivations, Eric Thomas, Tom Bilyeu, Ray Lewis, etc. A better way of saying today’s rule might be Practice What You Preach. Yesterday, for example, I told myself I was going to finish my story, and I did so. Because Camp NaNoWriMo says, you can write 50,000 words in 30 days I finished. Even this morning, while I was on Brainbuddy for once. I read about this podcast, Porn Free Radio #185 How Successful Guys Overcome Edging.

My point is Madam Justice is I want to be a leader. You can’t lead, though unless you know what it means to follow. In my experience, I have known too many corrupt leaders. I always speak about the men that I admire. In these past days, I can add many more women. Don’t look at me like that, I respect women despite my BDSM teachings and dirty talk. Hell in my novel, the head honcho was a woman, the Mistress Director, and she’s a female I despise. Sadly though the leaders I’m surrounded by either make me laugh or make my blood boil. There’s the General Manager at the Day Job, A&W, my “father,” more. I want to be the best leader I can be for those who would follow. I’m a traditionalist, and I believe that a man, a husband, a father must lead his family, you know.

Any true leader of men, a commander, a general, a king, must be willing to die for those he leads. You know I’m not afraid to die, I’m scared to look STUPID. Madam Justice that remains my trigger. The fear that those under my charge will know failure because of my direction. They will know dejection, destruction, and death, and I will not do that to anyone. Strangely enough, my leaders lead me to such things. Brainbuddy is one of the few things that drive me towards being a better person. Rather than hating myself. If you give orders that should be the goal, for betterment. Soldiers will die to protect their families, their country. A submissive and dominant are both set free with their power. My son is happy because he knows I defend him, rethink the leash dynamic.

“Higher, Faster, Further baby” didn’t I say I respect women; Give Orders You Would Follow.

I Will Have No Fear