Tag: Meditation

Saga 337 ~What’s Past B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“What we’ve done, we’ve done.” “We evade it by moving forward with a code to never do it again.” TWD. I said I’d never be afraid again. I went to the Day Job. I’d never be a Dad again. 2V’s on the stairs. Boobs. Uh, am I awake? What’s Past B, Virgil?

Saturday, June 3, 2023

Saga 337 ~What’s Past B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Should I give up being a trillionaire? As much as I should, seeing Braxton alive again.

I can’t! Not in this existence, at least. Or, as Tupac put it, “Bury me in pieces cause they fear reincarnation.” That’s what I need today (sigh). To see Braxton’s ashes. Uh, that’s a no. I’ve said before, Lady Lunalesca. Anytime I’m afraid, awkward, or just being asinine. I need only think of my “Lost Boy,” and everything pales compared to my worst crime. It’s like when I’m meditating, and they say, focus on your breath. Lunalesca, that’s B III. Braxton wasn’t here a few minutes ago… Please! Of course, he was. Lunalesca, I know. Hell! I could hear him grumbling as I rushed around like a chicken with its head cut off ha-ha. Fear is something I can never leave in the past, Lunalesca.

And you know I’m trying, but then as the song goes, “I take a look at my enormous penis and…” Hell! I might as well bust out Sade’s “Is It a Crime?” Lunalesca? Yeah. Yesterday it was the Day Job because, of course, it is. It’s like being a little boy or back in high school and busting my balls. Pretty much The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident and The Cherry Collision. That’s my STUPIDITY —confessions for Inspector Echo, Lunalesca. FEAR makes me STUPID. Strong, Speedy, Sexual… wait? We’re not talking about my first time, are we? Sick, Savage, but Salvation bound… screaming, oh my God. Okay, I’ll stop. That’s in the past. And instead of the first or last time, I had some “relations….” Yesterday?

There was my fear. And you know how I get over that. Effing! Or at least dreaming, imagining, envisioning, so I can’t forget about The Pic Phenomenon. That’s the past? Lunalesca, try this morning. How I miss my puppy. And what about Virgil, Lady Lu?

Anyway, there are all the pictures… porno. Because I can’t make a gallery for Braxton. And I only want to show that Virgil is alive daily. Lunalesca, Pornography? Something I can’t leave in the past… My feet are still planted in the veterinarian’s office. Lunalesca, my existence should be in the past, along with Braxton’s. But here I am. I’m panicking over a smartphone, spending money, and seeing plenty of Yabbos. It’s Saturday morning. The Past? What’s Past B, Virgil?

853 Days Without B III, Day 294 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 330 ~B A Second, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Second place, second-class, second rate… Um, give me a second to explain. Do I? What have I told Virgil? How many seconds have I saved, spent, and squandered? Even when I go out to make sure there’s food. Well, V can expect seconds B A Second, Virgil

Saturday, May 27, 2023

Saga 330 ~B A Second, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Which means I have all the time in the world. I want it all, Lady Lunalesca.

Well, in more ways than one. I mean, I can always go to my GOP ideology… I want it all. But what about the Dems and/or Liberals? Biden’s not my first, second, or third choice. Why am I so political this morning, Lady Lunalesca? The first choice hurts too much. Braxton? He’s always looking out for me, even now. Of course, you know what my second choice was after Braxton. Should V consider himself lucky nowadays? Um, to be honest… He and Braxton… AHEM “Poor Unfortunate Souls.” Because to be the center of my attention? I swear, anything that is my first choice. “You Always Hurt The One You Love.” Braxton, Boobies, the boy? I wake up failing Braxton; been looking at boobs. Virgil’s here.

Then again, he might be second, Lunalesca. I found another fur baby before a female. Lunalesca, I don’t mean to sound like some Incel. I read something about calling women females. Everyone needs a second for everything we dictate, do, um, diddle. It seems. Ha! Not that I’m thinking about those last two incidents. I’m still imagining “The Pic Phenomenon.” Man will always choose darkness over any light. Artistic quality. Lunalesca, there is plenty of light even in the dark. But Braxton was/is my light. Lunalesca, I’ve always hated those types that have to be affected by something to see reason. Like a man having a woman to see other women as such. Second-class, never! How about putting “God’s words” above one little voice? Hmm!

Whether you’re Bangin’ on a Trash Can or trying to Think Big. Doug, Lady Lunalesca. Hell! I always have a second for some dumb pop culture reference. That’s another thing. Why must everything be second to someone else? My reasons to become a billionaire, Lu. Because only then will I have the right to be first; I feel To live instead of exist. As always, I feel like that little boy playing Mario Kart with the neighbor kid, demanding second. Now I don’t mean the food. I mean the place. Because if I were ever to get first in racing… Braxton and I were boobs. We were a beautiful pair. Damn, near perfect! Equal. Loved. Need a second? Braxton, you, Virgil. B A Second, Virgil.

846 Days Without B III, Day 287 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 323 ~Virgil’s Business Bugs B~

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“Well, you can tell by the way I roll, shorty, that I’m a ladies’ man. A businessman.” While B III was here. Trying to win the maid or spending money on his favorite girl. And now existing… more like slavery. How dare I? Virgil’s Business Bugs B

Saturday, May 20, 2023

Saga 323 ~Virgil’s Business Bugs B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I don’t know what for. I got wealthy Olds? Nah! No boobs, books, or bureaucracy.

What? Do I need to be any more depressed at the end of the week? I was annoyed; what was it? Monday, Tuesday, or both? When I couldn’t “watch” wrestling. Oh! I was all “jerk to divas” (Twitter), no doubt Lady Lunalesca. But actual television. Effing nightmares. Lunalesca, it’s been all porn. And seeing how I’ve had to restart my… celibacy, abstinence… Should we call it sobriety? It’s been three days and counting. SHE’S not helping. Case No. 7906243 – What’s Under The Jacket? with Lulu Chu | Shoplyfter. What about My Dirty Maid Destiny Slams Her Cuban Big Ass On My Cock? There’s Ashley Graham. If you’re wondering what got me out of bed… More like it woke me up. Depression at missing Braxton?

You must be sick to death of hearing about him, Lady Lunalesca. The highlight of my week. A few precious minutes of meditation. Thinking of something to be grateful for, always being Braxton’s Dad. Next came sleep. And then there’s writing which explains the conversation we’re having right now. And why my underwear isn’t at my ankles this very second? Because this is my business. Lady Lunalesca, business, existing… Effing. Don’t I wish? Do you know how many pornstars there are when looking up Shoplyfter? And here Virgil has left me all by my lonesome. More like I put him in B’s room for now. Ain’t like he’s coming to look for me. He wants to live long enough to figure out what he’s doing.

Because it ain’t taking B’s place. Not that he ever could. To keep existing Lunalesca? Please! You can relax. I haven’t taken a painkiller today. And the last time I touched a gun… Well, it sort of spoiled my meditating mood. I was hearing things. It was something creaking. How about something I have to pay for? Again not the crux of my sadness, Lu. But we’ve talked about my big three pornos. And then my three elements of gratitude. With depression comes my boy, blogging, and an effing ton of bucks needed. Uh, food? Hell! If my “father” were here, I wouldn’t mind starving. B, I wouldn’t mind “living.” Because he was a “good dog,” and what’s best for business. Virgil’s Business Bugs B

839 Days Without B III, Day 280 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 319 ~Braxton’s Mom Before Virgil’s~

WillLeave a comment

I wasn’t a good man when Braxton was here. But I was far better than now. Listening to audiobooks. Todd discusses the difference between an orgy and a gangbang. Surprised I don’t have a wife yet. I Wish B had met her. “Braxton’s Mom Before Virgil’s.”

Tuesday, May 16, 2023

Saga 319 ~Braxton’s Mom Before Virgil’s~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now but before… Well, I was a different “man.” I’d even say less of one. Being honest

And not fair at all. If anything, I don’t want to go sounding like the GOP. But I have always been one for the Nuclear family unit. Two parents and 2.5 kids. Half? Please, Braxton! Yeah, if you don’t know by now and you do. You being you. I had to find a woman that got me. Anyway, Braxton was/is my whole world. Only this world got a lot bigger. Today marks 835 days without my firstborn son. My Braxton. How I wish you could have met him. Would it be easier? Me being a single father. Hell! Should I even say it like that? And today of all days? I’m time traveling. So it’s Sunday, May 14, 2023. How about it’s Mother’s Day? Hmm?

I wish I could say I’ve been busier. You are the mother of all our beautiful children. I did say 2.5. Right? With all the money we have… I want a lot. Fatherhood and manhood. And speaking of things I should stop thinking… My GOP ideology. But I have money. Or is it my father’s? Money equals love. Has he ever felt that? Unconditional love… I wished my Ma a Happy Mother’s Day, and she would beat my ass thinking of my Old Man as such. Only I look at what I’m asking of you. Well, that I’m hoping you’ll feel. Braxton. A love for the furry son you’ve never met, and here I have Virgil Vivi amongst all our two-legged children. “What is Love?”

I shouldn’t have to ask that, and I don’t. At least not when it comes to me pouring the Bisquick and you making pancakes. I do mean the kids that we made together. “My Love.” But why do you think I call B pancake? He couldn’t haven’t been more mine. Braxton, He’s My Son. He will always be. I sing, “Nothing’s gonna change my world.” But the “man” I am, and the woman I hold you to be… To love Braxton as I do. Virgil? I don’t have favorites when it comes to our children. Friend, favorite parent, a father. Love my Braxton. Love our kids, love me, and love Virgil. Could you love the man I was, where you were Braxton’s Mom Before Virgil’s?

835 Days Without B III, Day 276 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 312 ~Braxton Would Cheat, Virgil~

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Braxton couldn’t cheat death; none of us can. On people, pay, and pleasures. I’ve never been one for Love and Happiness. But I am Hopelessly Devoted to You… if your name is grief or a specific pleasure. Cheater? Braxton Would Cheat, Virgil.

Tuesday, May 9, 2023

Saga 312 ~Braxton Would Cheat, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I wouldn’t even need that to be my old man. He cheated on my Ma.

Yeah, this ain’t the week for this. Right? And this was a long time ago. I have a half-brother I’ve never met, around college age. No love there. Love and time, isn’t that right, love? Other than being a provider, I don’t want to be anything like my “father.” Never. Cheating, though? I was thinking about that Sunday, May 7, 2023. Not like that… Please! I have many views on such, but I’m not talking about love. Love. No, the other love. My B III. How often have I said Virgil’s name today compared to B’s? Uh, Good Morning. Hell! Even before you, there was Braxton. Then us… And with Virgil Vivi, there was, “V, you need a bath? I’ll take you to get one.”

It’s all that walking in the yard. At some point, it’s going to get mowed. Such a little thing, a husband mowing the lawn. I was raised on TRADITION! Fiddler on the Roof, I’m sorry. Not for the singing. Nope! That’s always been me. Pop Culture Whore… We’ll get there. I mean for cheating on life, not you, my wife but life with death. Oh, I’m in love with it. The only reason to wake up is that I move a bit closer to it. Step by Step… more music? Yeah. Ma was a big fan of The Preacher’s Wife and Whitney Houston. I remember. Anyway, I have to get her something for Mother’s Day. And you as well. A mom to such beautiful children.

I’ll forever be grateful that they take after you and not me. Do I feel cheated? Not at all, love. Now, Braxton, I swear I think he was in love with Aunt Carolina. Those boobies? Someday, I won’t be so juvenile when it comes to those. Oh, like one day I won’t think about B? That’s like telling me not to think about sex ever. Ask Cherry about that, ha-ha. It’s like me wanting to have a threesome or thoughts of us becoming “Swingers,” right? I mean, not now. And I’m not a cheat. Not with you, and again there’s B, but here is V. Like the song, Is This Love? Could You Be Loved? Braxton’s big heart. Mine’s broken. Death. Braxton Would Cheat, Virgil

828 Days Without B III, Day 269 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 305 ~Meditations Of B, Virgil~

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So what did I expect from meditation? Once upon a time, B’s breathing was life. The awareness of him. Then the silence. Virgil breathes too. But he doesn’t make a peep unless I leave. And what about the family I want someday? Meditations Of B, Virgil

Tuesday, May 2, 2023

Saga 305 ~Meditations Of B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. That goes to show I’m not a great man. Nowhere near. Neither peaceful, as perverted, promising

Not like Marcus Aurelius. Hell! I don’t know anything about him. (Snickers) I did watch Gladiator… The four chief virtues: Wisdom, justice, fortitude, and temperance… Speaking of royalty. There is Queen Ramonda of Wakanda. “What construct does your mind create when you think of your (son)? Does it bring you comfort or torment?” Dicking around as I mourn my son. Not even watching the films but the movie reactions, love. And why not? My last meditations haven’t yielded anything. How long has it been, hmm? Braxton’s been dead for 821 days. So Virgil’s been here 262. You meant meditating. Right? At this rate, 31 days? But today, Friday, April 28, 2023, all I have done… I’ve cut on YouTube and watched fictional and/or better people.

Yes, I know Marcus Aurelius is real. I need to read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Braxton may have led me to such a book. One more book I need to read. It’s either this or Succubus 8 (Riddles And Revenge). I could go with MEAT by Joseph D’Lacey. I’ve been meaning to get into the works of Matt Shaw. And I told Lady Sophia about The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. What’s one more title about dead fur babies? Moaning, grieving. Again, it’s Friday, so I’m in a literary state of mind despite Braxton’s passing. Always. Plus, books are a form of meditation for me. Better to spend money on books than on women’s mammaries. I have you, my beautiful wife, and my business. Happy?

You know me, baby girl. I’m never happy… Effing said that out loud? Happiness… Honestly. As the song goes, “I Believe in a Thing Called Love.” And “I Believe in You and Me.” Shouldn’t I say I believe in the “Power of Love?” I believe in the power of music. Better yet, I “Believe in the Beat.” Whatever I can stick in my ears short of seeing the Doc again. The last thing I need is my ear shooting another bukkake scene. Ha-ha! But what’s the first thing I need? I can’t have my Braxton back. And meditating… Awareness and silence it’s confusing. I have no wise words for you or our children. Only I love you. That enough? Braxton’s wisdom? Meditations Of B, Virgil

821 Days Without B III, Day 262 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 289 ~Harder To B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“But I’m on the outside; I’m looking in. I can see through you, see your true colors. ‘Cause inside you’re ugly, you’re ugly like me.” Michael Jackson’s nicer, “Man in the Mirror.” If anyone, I’d like to be my son. Dealing with me? Harder To B Virgil

Sunday, April 16, 2023

Saga 289 ~Harder To B Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. By comparison, you’re blocking off a fence with the screen door panel. A metal chair… A lazy-ass.

Zombieland huh? “It’s tough growing up in Zombieland. It’s tough growing up.” Or would you prefer a bit of John Q. “I understand. It’s hard to be a man these days. Hard to know what the right thing is.” You will have little time to watch movies today. Nope! Hell! You haven’t even cried over Braxton today. But the day’s still so young (sigh). Approaching 9:00 AM. And I’ve made this week much harder than it should be… again. I’m sorry. You should save your apologies for Braxton. And a couple for Virgil Vivi. You’re not STUPID enough to ask, what about you? The fact that you’re even awake. Woke? Let’s not get into politics right now. Is life? Existence? Hard as Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING How to ROAR: Pet Loss Grief
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 100 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 107 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And if the best man you’ve ever known couldn’t cope… What chance do you have? Existing has become so hard that I got you practicing meditation, even now. Is it helping? Yeah, you don’t want to answer that. One more reason fur babies don’t talk. Because… Well, if they did. Braxton was/is his father’s son. Like you, he’d scream obscenities, vulgarities, and the like. And why. You were about to say people don’t understand, right? If meditation has taught me anything. It’s the fact that even breathing is a struggle. Braxton knew this true enough but for you? “For You?” Or more like Staind’s “Outside.” Don’t go looking at YouTube now. It’s one of the reasons you have “Flow State” running now. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Bereavement Matters: Understanding Pet Loss
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 107 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because talking to yourself, the “Man in the Mirror,” is hard… B is somewhere laughing. Virgil’s all scared to death. Going from good women. To an effed-up grown man. (Laughs). Are you? Well, not in a good way, with you wasting an hour. Pornographic passions. It’s 9:30 now. And already, you can say that you’ve failed #6. You’ve been flirting with #4 too. Let’s not forget all the writing that must get done today, so eff #3. They’re my fault. The only thing I seem to accomplish is making existing that much worse every week. That’s a hard-ass legacy. Isn’t it? I’d ask what the eff you’re going to do about it. But, um, no. Harder than existing? Being without Braxton. Harder To B Virgil

805 Days Without B III, Day 246 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will