Lesson 223 ~SORRY, In Capital Letters~

Not for all the tea in China, see even that makes me feel like I owe an apology, but nobody is getting one unless they have four legs and fit snuggly in my bed or two and some good assets, then I’m sure I’ll know one word. “SORRY, In Capital Letters”

Friday, February 9, 2018

Lesson 223 ~SORRY, In Capital Letters~

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Love Story

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, talk about job security, I never love anybody so that’s why I am perpetually in business and what about that account for my day job? Something I’m going to have to confess to Inspector Echo. My how I hate wasting words, a genocide of thought and I love writing and for that I’ll repeat it, I’m sorry.

Ironically probably my grandest love at the moment which of course is my dog, can’t read and as much as he tilts his cute little head, he doesn’t understand the word. In truth with all of my writing starting from my name to this moment I’m still trying to understand anything and everything. It might explain my depression and why I haven’t been writing because no one wants to comprehend not even me and as much as I wish I could say I’m beyond description, I’m not worth it sometimes.

“Shut up or die…” Pontypool

If anything Lady Sophia that’s been the lesson for this whole godawful week, shut up or become one of them, the infected cretins always just vomiting out whatever is right at the time. Fine, okay, happy, here’s something else I would never say, Trump is a genius, he may be a moron and say some horrible things but the thing about it is, he doesn’t give a rat’s ass what he says. He never says he’s sorry but what does that mean, how does Trump feel about the American people, if he can scream his thoughts to the world “honestly.”

You know something, I think Love Story (1970) has it wrong, love means always having to say you’re sorry, again I’m forever apologizing to the dog, but I didn’t say it at work. I don’t say it to my family, hell I know a woman that loves me, but I don’t tell her I’m sorry. Talk about being a hypocrite; I started this thinking I’m always offering up apologies but other than to my dog who else is there, me and of course Inspector Echo.

My lack of writing might mean that I finally don’t love myself to try and save myself anymore with my words, but that won’t do at all will it? Would it help if I told you I’m sorry, would it help if I wrote it down a hundred times just like I Will Have No Fear, what will it take for me to listen, listen, hear, and understand this one word SORRY, In Capital Letters?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 081 ~The Black Suits Comin’~

I wear my heart on my sleeve they say but nobody saw a thing, here I am supposedly trying to speak up and at the same time be invisible but which do you think I chose today? “The Black Suits Comin’” the government, the mourners, the gravediggers heh?

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Lesson 081 ~The Black Suits Comin’~

Hey Lady Lu
No Fear, no tears, some dirt but at least I’ve stopped burying myself, I sort of had to or else I would be getting no sleep tonight, I had things to deal with. I always feel like I’m repeating myself but “Every Day Is Exactly The Same” and on that note have I ever told you I’m not a prophet and then there are nights like last.

“I am not a prophet, but sometimes I have prophetic dreams, like the one where I was at a garden party.” Huey Freeman, The Boondocks

Didn’t I say something about paranoia or maybe I have something like a “God Complex” and I’m not even sure what that is in the traditional sense but all writers think themselves God at one moment or another. It’s more a “Messiah Complex” with Braxton around, haven’t I talked about being the villain, more often than not but when it comes to a couple of pounds of fluff, I’m a hero every day. Now, what was the point I was trying to make… okay, I believe that someone always has their eyes on me even when this morning I was more so trying to embrace the idea of being invisible.

I mean you can’t fire an invisible man can you but on the same token I could have had the week off from work but the squeaky wheel gets the grease as they say, so much for being invisible. So what led to this, the lesson, before I woke up this morning, I think I was dreaming or I was half awake, I’m not sure, it’s five minutes before the alarms start buzzing and my body is on edge. Anyway, the only part I remember is one of the managers told me I had to talk to “Big Brother” because I was under investigation about something, have you been blabbing?

“You know when you have a dream and you’re half-awake, but still in the fringe of your brain, and when you open your eyes you’re so damn glad it was a dream?

This was nothing like that.” Wesley, Wanted (2008)

Isn’t that the whole point, to be seen, and why do I find black so ominous and so comforting at the same time Lady Lu, it explains why I like my women wearing bright colors though I like a woman that would match me too. How does the story end; I go and talk to “Big Brother” about being on the schedule and chances are I will end up working next week but at least I still have my job.

So what have I learned today, keep my mouth shut, I’m so busy trying to avoid being seen that I put myself out there and now The Black Suits Comin’?

Troubling Twenty to Tango

I was pretty angry at a beautiful person at first and I was about to you some pretty foul language at the start “BUT” then I thought a bit better of it, not the underlying problem though. Troubling Twenty to Tango… they say it takes twenty seconds ha

And I will see you in twenty
If I were only that eager
Why don’t I figure it out in guts
or any number of buts
which grow ever so meager
It’s only not funny
as I’ve been pegged
one ain’t too proud to beg

Now I ask for what
Because it’s never enough
Yet they call me the seeker
Maybe I’m ugly
tripping over my own two legs
like I just finished a keg
okay two but you know something
you’re the disease, the virus, the fever

So what I’m not a believer
In you’ll see
Without pictures or Mpegs
Even if I throw up my eggs
My courage with overcome any
And all anxiety… eh I’m a dreamer
Sot guess what
You won’t ever tell me to shut up

Ever again

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