Tag: Women

Log 045 ~Will’s Having Some Balls~

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A “great man” once talked of having balls and his word; I have two years and a few books worth of words but balls; I should try holding on to cash at some point as the song goes if it doesn’t make dollars it makes no cents. “Will’s Having Some Balls”

Thursday, August 15, 2019

Log 045 ~Will’s Having Some Balls~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now and I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger. Not any of them from the cosplayer, to the coworker, or any other cuties. I had a revelation while I was sleeping. It was this afternoon, last night I dreamt all about the Blazkowicz sisters and the Nazis. I’m trying not to have any dirtier thoughts there. Anyway this afternoon I thought about why I’m always attracted to the broken. The bad stories still get me going as well. Not to mention bouncing asses; damn, I should have read my book today.

To this day, sites like “Street Blowjobs,” “Pure Taboo,” “Casting Couch HD, I could go on. The thing is the whole industry appears solely on a premise of brokenness. Now I know that’s not true always. What I mean is people need money. Pure Taboo tells great stories. I’m not ashamed to say I dream I could write like that Dirty Diana. Whitney Wright said a man needs a lot of money to get into the industry. There’s also moving, and of course, you’ve seen my plans. So perhaps my ability to see the broken is more a blessing than a curse. You know I hate showing my brokenness but how else to see it in others. Some dominants start from knowing submission. The “School of Bondage” is an example. From a broken home, a shattered kid breaks pretty girls.

It’s weird how everything in my world comes together. At the Day Job, the second song I listened to (started with Tillie Cole’s Playlist.) Yes, I’ll get back to her book but the second song I added was Venom Rap (We Are Venom). “I know you have anger. Now you need presence!” Dirty Diana if that doesn’t describe me some days. Please don’t make me out to be Trump, never properly explaining myself. Money is a presence. While I’m on the subject, I spoke to Alice Little yesterday. I’m not headed out Nevada way this September, and why is that? I’m broke, busted, and full of bullshit. She was kind about it, though she found other plans pretty fast. What about me, I had a year to make a million and where has it all gone? Boobs, Butts, but B is still my greatest love.

If only his best friend were better. I’ll find one day Will’s Having Some Balls.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 044 ~The Shape Of Will~

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Last week I spoke a bit of looking down, and it seems like I’m still doing that, whether it be my phone, naughty books, or my wallet; hip to be square or more like a rectangle, not the worse of all shapes though. The Shape Of Will

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Log 044 ~The Shape Of Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, but not a star. Can’t say I miss Super Mario because my princess is always in another castle. There’s also the fact that I’m not feeling powerful. Where was I supposed to be at this moment in my life? Now if anything I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Should I apologize for ripping my heart out? I’ve been much too busy looking “down there” at the moment. At least it’s still in my pants, but it’s getting hard and pretty damn embarrassing; okay stopping.

Let’s get to what has me bent out of shape. Video games should be fun and a way to relax, right. I like Heavy Rain and all, but yes I’m out of practice and out of shape. Shaking that controller this way, and that has me breathing hard. At least it’s better than watching other people play. So what about watching other people fuck (LANGUAGE)? The first week is always the hardest, like any rehab. Still NoFap but not even hiding the fact that I’m watching porn. Hell Inspector Echo I wasn’t lasting three days when I was abstaining or trying at least. As for the “real” thing, I didn’t cave into the cosplayer. I’m still waiting to hear from Alice. I even started looking for a new “maid,” talk about a business opportunity SIGH.

As the song goes, it’s hip to be square. Only again, Heavy Rain isn’t helping; I saw Madison’s boobs. I’m reading another Tillie Cole book, “Raphael.” Should have learned from “Sick Fux” the author loves the taboo. Now If I could only go back to the nights of softcore porn watching. Inspector Echo, my life’s a cycle, a circle if you will; wake up, conversation, pretend to live. My son and I are in a rut. These are his golden years he should be enjoying himself. I keep saying I’ll give him everything but a million dollars in two weeks? Yes, I am ashamed of myself, there’s no way around it Inspector Echo. Could it be a love triangle? Yes, Tupac got around but as for myself. From the MILF to Mr. International, to the Stars. Yesterday I even went back to some erotic gaming.

So I am sorry life has me so warped and twisted. These past two weeks have been, again hard. I’m finding The Shape Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 042 ~Live Like There’s No Tomorrow~

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Am I going back to that, the world is going to end in “five minutes” mentality; if died today I would be embarrassed at everything, well other than reading another Tillie Cole novel but anyway. “Live Like There’s No Tomorrow”

Monday, August 12, 2019

Log 042 ~Live Like There’s No Tomorrow~

Ninety-Seventh Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, but I didn’t do two girls at the same time. Now that’s only for starters for if tomorrow never comes? Well, I’ve thought about that plenty of nights. Most nights I don’t ever plan on the morning. Okay, my knives and my car alarm say differently. Those are more for my son, though. My motivations say to start every morning with gratitude. I’m grateful Madam Justice I am. Still, I sometimes imagine waking up and starting all over again.

Do any of us wake up and live the day we would be proud to die? So I wake up this morning to the TWD Rewards people treating me like I’m STUPID. Until only now, I had forgotten about that concern. Besides talking to you, I could use a cappuccino and a slice of cheesecake. Worrying robs you of the joy you might have so I owe myself a slice. You know the days are wrong when you pray for a zombie apocalypse. Hell, I want the days I stand a chance in if anything. Again living those “five minutes” and the world comes to an end. I’ve lived far too many suicidal days. There was the day I had Taco Bell and fell asleep downing Nyquil pills attempting an overdose. I’ve starved myself for at least a week, and nobody gave a damn. I’ve studied poisons, weapons, I write dystopias ha. Ironic, I see tomorrow for everyone else but myself; I don’t live now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fqUrOuaPTE

If I could have today again, picture it as so. I wake up next to my beautiful wife. I go to my office, and we talk well more like Lady Sophia and me because it’s a Friday. My wife and I make love in the shower, and then she cooks breakfast. We both see the children off to school, while my firstborn does patrol of the Estate. I pop in on a few of my brothels see how business is going. I visit my studio and work on a movie. Then it’s off to interview the newest crop of models. I pick up my kids, and they tell me about good days at school. Home-cooked dinner, in a loving home. A book before bed then me and my wife ravish each other. Who would need another Saturday? Never enough time right Madam Justice but to Live Like There’s No Tomorrow.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 038 ~Will Has Stress Balls~

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Where is my fidget cube when I need it and other than the shower my kid gives me no private time and unfortunately I can carry my phone into the bathroom, and last night I got a good night’s sleep for one reason? Will Has Stress Balls.

Thursday, August 8, 2019

Log 038 ~Will Has Stress Balls~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now but also a CREEP. Mind your tongue; I’m not a stalker, Mr. Trump, or any other type of criminal. I’m a dominant, a sadist, and someone who doesn’t handle stress well. Last night was the perfect example, skeevy as the “Basic Bitch” would say. Hell, I didn’t go to bed because I was satisfied. I was hoping I finally scared myself to death. The reason; Facebook and accidentally clicking on a picture from a year ago. Pretty girls have blocked me for less; words, Pokemon.

I’m in a lovey-dovey mood and not a sexual one, which leads me to Alita: Battle Angel. “I’ll give you my heart,” I’ll add that to the things a girl could say to me. Don’t worry, we’ll get to breasts but to have a girl’s heart. A woman’s I should say WHAT’S MY AGE AGAIN? Why the 90’s early 2000’s kick; music was better, huh? I like girls that have brains. Don’t I always say every Saturday, two to three hours of nuclear pop? It’s also a requisite she loves reading and decent movies. I was telling “Indiana Gone” that the other day. It’s not like I’m a genius, but hell the real shape of a heart. Didn’t I say I was a creep or creepy? Anyway, she must love my little ball of fluff, my son, you know. If dogs could talk not that he cares what I look up or click on: Thumbs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcEH7LJrOQc

Yeah, those and my fingers that had me staring at dirty titties last night. Well, that’s how it started, and then I was clicking, my mistake. Once again, I’m a slave to my phone. I’ll always be a boob guy Dirty Diana. A few hours ago it was all boobs, now to a girl with no boobs. Before my indiscretion, I was all about ass. Yesterday I said I can’t look people in the face. I know some great asses, though, two in particular. Well, three if you count the shower and please don’t. Last but not least, got the nub, got the nub; I’ll quit with the songs at some point. Pleasing women, once I get them in bed is the ultimate goal. I have no idea what I’m doing every day I’ll admit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_HemKz6yu0

Such is my stress, and I lost my fidget cube, but Will Has Stress Balls.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 037 ~Standing With A Willie~

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A great man once sang “stand up for your rights,” and someone else said if you won’t stand for something; well these two legs can take me places but my eyes are looking down, though things get an inevitable rise out of me. Standing With A Willie

Wednesday, August 7, 2019

Log 037 ~Standing With A Willie~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, and no my mind isn’t in the gutter. Okay, truth be told another cosplayer “Jada Jinxx.” We’ll get to the begging portion of the program soon enough. Today I want to talk about courage, the strength to stand. Hard when you can’t stand the man in the mirror; neither can they.

Up against the wall mother; yes, I looked that up. That’s how I was at work today, nowhere to go and nothing to do there. So I redid two of the walls of hanging crap, paintings, metal décor, etc. Staring at the wall meant I didn’t have to look at people. Not that I could even if I wanted to anyway. My eyes are conscientious objectors in this war for my life. On the other hand, they could be living in 3017. That’s me looking at the dirt or how long it would take me to find courage. Is it any wonder I write dystopias? How about the only life after death, I believe in is zombies? Anyway, so I’m working from one wall to the next. I’m getting all these backstabbers complimenting behind my back. Like I’m any better; should have seen me yesterday. Someone knocked on my door, and I had my knife behind me, saving people time.

You know for finding reasons to fire me at some point. In writing Inspector Echo, I’m an army of one. Army, again look at the title. I was channeling Ellie Goulding’s song. I wish I could say I had someone I counted on with all my heart. Yes of course B III but let’s look at humans. My “father” that’s more predatory dominance. I feel like less of a real man, depending on him. There, of course, is the job I despise. If I lose it, I’ll be wandering the desert with my dick in my hands (LANGUAGE). So yes this morning, the man in the mirror, well the shower SIGH. I’m still with NO FAP but the things I was thinking. There, now we can talk about the new girl or the others rolling around in my brain. Closing my eyes but still staring at a wall or the floor, Let’s say TWD is chock full of hot women.

Damn all these beautiful girls as the song goes, oh and work. Missed a huddle but Standing With A Willie.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 035 ~Nothing To Prove To Anybody~

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The lives we live or survive, some people have wealth, others have scars, some have only an inch of air in front of their face, and that in itself can be too much, why are they so deserving, am I? Nothing To Prove To Anybody.

Monday, August 5, 2019

Log 035 ~Nothing To Prove To Anybody~

Ninety-Sixth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, but you don’t have to believe that. How about the fact that I respect women? Sure doesn’t look that way right? What about that I do my best at the Day Job? The idea that I love my firstborn more than anything? Of course, the big one these days would be that I’m an innocent man. It’s 4 AM, and you know the reason I’m up. For the record, I did get about six hours of sleep, and I still haven’t checked Facebook yet.

Speaking of which, when I do post some political discord there, it’s what I believe. I’m not trying to prove I’m a Dem, Liberal, or anything, only that this is what I know. Hell like Jon Snow everyone says I know nothing, but he was just himself. The problem is he didn’t know who that was most of the time. I should stop comparing myself to him, though. As always I avoid the man in the mirror too. Yesterday though I had to shave and I saw all the grey hairs; how did I get so old not living? Even now it’s like I need permission to exist. I need to prove I have the right to such a thing. My Six Impossible Things list, I have to prove I’m a good father, a man, I get apps to try and hold myself accountable Justice.

What about September, am I going to make it to Nevada. $200.00 for a number I never use, how much do I spend on Brainbuddy, and I was checking out some Cosplayer. If anything I’m proving fear runs my life and I get that for free. Let’s not forget the other $250 for my book and even more for a cover. What about all the motivational speakers I listen to or the time spent lost in music wanting to feel brave. Don’t be brave, have a little common sense as one song goes. All this effort for people that don’t give a damn and hell I don’t either. That is until something hurts them like the hack job. Again being a dominant and a sadist I get turned on by pain but only that which I control. Pain proves we’re still alive, so why don’t I embrace all of it in my life Madam Justice.

The answer is still this, Nothing To Prove To Anybody.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 031 ~Will Takes A Drive~

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Vroom, vroom, I’ve slept in my car before, but as far as “sleeping” with someone else well, I have a pretty good driving record considering some things and only ever got pulled over twice and for a black man that’s dangerous. Will Takes A Drive.

Thursday, August 1, 2019

Log 031 ~Will Takes A Drive~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now but not a car guy. If I earn enough money, I only want five cars. Mine, My Wife’s, Street Jet (Rob Dyrdek), Soccer Mom’s Minivan, and a Limo plus hot tub. My kids will get cars too, but time to talk about baby-making and not baby-raising Dirty Diana I hope.

At least, I want to can’t say I’m feeling my inner pimp at the moment. Yeah this coming from the guy that first thing in the morning looked up Kosame Dash. “Public Pickups” is fast becoming a favorite and to think weeks ago, it was “Oldje.” I still think about that woman in the Walmart parking lot, my chance at “Street Blowjobs.” The things that turn me on Dirty Diana hmm, innocence, plaid skirts, and in this moment cars. The voyeur side of me or the exhibitionist, having two cameras. I’m always worried about how people see me these days. One more reason I’m not all hot, at least in my pants. Besides getting mad at work, I lost another friend on Facebook. I know I always take things like this too hard; no not like that, Brainbuddy asked will I make August clean? Hell, it hasn’t been twenty-four hours, but I’m only doing research.

Speaking of my “learning,” I’ve looked over the motivations of women. I make that sound so deep, but let’s look at “Wolfenstein: Youngblood.” I like vulnerable women with the heart to fight, but there’s something about women that can kick ass. Jessie and Sophie Blazkowicz, Anya, Abby. Back in the day, I was all for Gabrielle, the Battling Bard of Potidaea. How about the fact I like women that are shapely enough to get down in a car? Refer to my list of five, which pretty much means all women. Getting back to my drives, yes I’m still a sadist, watching pain gets me going, inflicting it more so. If anything though I want a woman that makes me her drive, her focus. Give me Taylor Townsend stalking me any day, and I’d be down.

Don’t need a woman for that though I’m still down about plenty of things. One month to make a million dollars. My job leaves me scared. I have friends that are hurting something awful. I got two cars and nowhere to go. People run me so Will Takes A Drive.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 030 ~Four On Will’s Fairway~

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Last week I talked about counting on me, and today it’s been hours at work, seven new Pinterest boards I believe, and I didn’t even broach the subject of a million dollars in one month, still not published. Four On Will’s Fairway.

Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Log 030 ~Four On Will’s Fairway~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, and like Eric Thomas, I don’t play golf. Here I was expecting four days off when I have six. Sticking with the four though, I won’t tell you the story of “The Big D,” SIGH. For the record that was the first time, I fell in love. It’s why once upon a time Four was a lucky number as in Group 4. Should I tell you about Group Five Photosports; hell I wish. Yeah, I already broke down again. Fear The Walking Dead fantasies plus Kneeling Kinkster Kennedy. Let’s also add Kosame Dash: Letting It Air Out “Public Pickups” and some Angie Varona for good measure.

Never thought about it before but is that why I’m partial to the numbers three and five? You must forgive my scatterbrain, hell I’m going to need it over the next few days. For now, only one thing has been on my mind, and that’s walking out. I told “Cherry” a bit of this, but I got asked to come in today at the Day Job. Low and behold the first question out of the Manager’s mouth is “what are you doing today?” Dammit, Inspector Echo (LANGUAGE) I’m dominant for a reason. I like what I like; I know what I want. Well, “MILF Dos” might disagree, but I have quite the imagination. Anyway, so I blow up at her and the flower child and leave work thirty minutes early. So of course you know I have to worry this week and the next; it happens. Here’s the worrying list:

One job, one source of income, I can’t get fired.

Two girls I yelled at and two lives to worry about, me and B III

Three tacos from Burger King, they suck, Taco Bell forever

Four women that got me FAPPING again well six actually

Five tasks I did accomplish at the Day Job. Shelves cleaned, Trash, Upstairs hardware, Candles and Avengers display set-up, Stockroom

Only it’s never enough. I always tell myself. Hell, I was so out of it this morning with the fantasy and the madness. I didn’t make the bed, and when I got back hell, I’ve been zoned out. I value myself and my time, but I ate those nasty tacos and played around on Pinterest. 158 Sections on one board.

Forgive me Inspector Echo, like Trump, Four On Will’s Fairway

I Will Have No Fear

Log 028 ~Always Be Prepared For War~

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Last week I talked about people giving orders, but I once heard in a game “a man chooses, a slave obeys” I never chose to be this way, no I was a slave of my looks, my words, my desires things that make me want to fight. Always Be Prepared For War ha

Monday, July 29, 2019

Log 028 ~Always Be Prepared For War~

Ninety-Fifth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, but I am not ready for power. Like today Madam Justice I was not prepared for war. Every day I gird myself for disappointment. I know that my days at the Day Job will bring about more humiliation. Last week was nothing but one fuck-up (LANGUAGE) after another worried about this week. In the morning, I tell myself I’ll wake up early to read, and then I cut my alarm off. I want to fight temptation, and then I have horrific FTWD fantasies. Worst thought I was not down for the cause, again ready for wickedness, winning, for war.

So what brought this on, my C-3PO feelings of being helpless. How do you even define helpless? “Unable to defend oneself or to act without help.” There’s “Uncontrollable,” I think that about covers it Madam Justice. No positive vibes today but I still no better than to wish harm. However, I couldn’t stop three girls from laughing at me. My General Manager continues to treat me like I’m retarded. The usual manager is useless and treats me as a child. Haven’t I mentioned he’s pretty touchy-feely? Weak, Pathetic, Useless, I’m going against all my motivations right now. If it wasn’t that, it was fucking anger (LANGUAGE) today, I wanted to fight no doubt. I tried to march into the GM’s office all day. “Look I’m leaving, I’m not some fucking retard, and not some damn virus” (YES AGAIN). It was like being back in school with both teams saying you take him he’s not wanted.

Is that why I’m taking what’s going on in my country so personally. From metal to a man that controls it, Magneto; I know what it’s like to be shit on for everything (MORE). It’s because you’re black, skinny, fucked up teeth, you wear the same clothes. I know what it’s like to wear a FUBU shirt (youth) and be sitting by yourself the very next day. I see how easy people have it, the laws. Still, because there is work to do people like me are considered ungrateful. Rule 13 states Power Is All That Matters. Like Markus in DBH, (still a great game) if people want to crack jokes and tear me down okay. Use their stones for fortresses, the pen and keyboard are my swords. Hellfire is how my armor’s forged;, they instilled it in the flesh. Always Be Prepared For War.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 024 ~Will Come The Silence~

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I’m the strong silent type, well minus the strong I suppose, but I always get that I’m a great listener but whoever listens to me and there are so many things you can do in bed other than that thing. “Will Come The Silence” sometimes, but what’s next

Thursday, July 25, 2019

Log 024 ~Will Come The Silence~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now but shush. Now you know I’m one for moans, whimpers, and screams, yeah I’m no good with dialogue novel wise. Anyway, there is something to be known about the sound of silence. Now should I take the crass route and talk about women gagging. You know choosing a dick over-breathing. How about the use of sex toys though I buy women beautiful lingerie for a reason. There’s also the whole “stalker” angle sigh. Let me reiterate the fact that I’ve never done that, shocker right?

What I mean is I’ve never been one to watch a porno, naked women are everywhere. When I see a particular actress that I like, I have to find her video history. I’m hopeless sometimes in my way. Take, for example, Hayden Bell; she did Sweet Slurpee for Reality Kings. I know a few of her movies, but Street Blowjobs is my favorite. I like Whitley Wright from Prom Night and maybe one other film. My point is dominants study submissives. A one-night stand is one thing but to study a particular woman, to have a personal connection. Again I’m not talking hidden cameras or hiding that type of thing. It’s feeling something beyond language and hell what happens if I tell the truth? What about if I try to be nice? I hate playing Cyrano de Bergerac, not again.

I’ve said it often enough I love Saturday mornings lying in bed with a woman. You know I’ve got my 40’s and 50’s Nuclear Pop, the only time I listen anymore. How about reading a book in bed or on the loveseat? A trip to the library or the movies? You know I think that’s the ticket, intimacy you hear it in the silence. As the song goes, “but words sometimes get in the way.” It’s always spoiled things for me. I know that much is true. If I can’t talk, why should she right? Dirty Diana with my current body issues better I not talk at all. Still, there is the problem of communication, one more reason for a submissive. She learns to anticipate a dominant no words required. In a way that’s my novel but where does the time go these days wow.

Wanted to talk about The Beast and the Dead, and frozen vengeance but you know I Will Come The Silence.

I Will Have No Fear