Tag: Women

Episode 064 ~You Vote With Your Crotch~

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When I was voting for a president that was easy and sad, between blondes and brunettes, kiss or kill, money and everything else, what story I’m going to write next, will I ever get the opportunity at this rate? “Vote With Your Crotch.”

Monday, September 3, 2018

Episode 064 ~You Vote With Your Crotch~

Forty-Eighth Rule Madam Justice

Give Me One Reason, to fight my biology, the Chemical impulses, or the denial of fate, especially at this stage of the game, I haven’t known such fear since hmm… cops burst down my father’s door years ago; I nearly lost my job because of some bitch. How about the first time I saw Little Lupe, I visited Motherless.com, and now Pinterest again, hell if I’m still here Wednesday I might tell you all about it but now Co-Ed Confidential.

“At 4 1/2 months old, a human fetus has a reptile’s tail; a remnant of our evolution. Maybe that’s what I couldn’t escape. You can fight a lot of enemies and survive. But if you fight your biology, you will always lose.” Lord Of War

You’ll have to forgive me if I can’t get the quote word for word but James from Co-Ed Confidential (porn series) talks about how your head can become confused, your gut can do so many things, your heart, how it’s broken but your crotch well… points the way. I didn’t say the right direction but somewhere wanted, hell it’s how you get Trump in the White House, a guy sleeps with pornstars, the Catholic church, and its horrors, and a Pastor gropes Ariana Grande. Meanwhile all day I’ve felt utterly terrified, and it will probably be worse tomorrow, today being a holiday and all, I still remember when I got sent to an “alternative school” for my “wanting” of violence; honestly the lesser of two evils Madam Justice I’m saying.

“I believe in consequences.

No, you believe in guilt.

Maybe. But guilt, before we act, is called morality.” Liberal Arts

What about wrestling, I’ve seen Charlotte Flair naked, but I still root for Becky Lynch for wanting to kick her ass because I believe that’s fair, now why can’t that be the same for other women, for other decisions in my life. Something beautiful can stop a lot of destruction and then again it’s beauty that can cause the same annihilation and then you know what they say about an eye for an eye. Atom Bomb Baby, so if wanting madness and mayhem makes me question Am I A Psycho and a beautiful woman makes me a creeper what else is there? Power for power but what leads to this and that Justice is MONEY.

“An eye for an eye and the world goes blind.”

“In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king” (Mixed and different sources)

So if this rule has landed me in such hot water, why don’t I ignore it; because before there was money, when love was not a concept, when feeding your belly and standing tall was all there was, and getting your head caved in well… there was flesh, and that guides everything. Now if I told you that money was all there was for me what would you say, which is worse; the want of death, of life, of all things material, even wanting to be a better man, every single day we vote, how so, Vote With Your Crotch.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 062 ~A Willing Twenty-Four Hours~

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I should adopt the attitude I once had when I was back in school. When somebody asked how was your day; you say “I don’t want to talk about it” and for once I’ve got nothing to say, but I’m waiting for “The Day.” A Willing Twenty-four Hours

Saturday, September 1, 2018

Episode 062 ~A Willing Twenty-Four Hours~

Hey Lady Lu,
Give Me One Reason not to think about this or that, have you noticed that the more you try to ignore a particular subject, the more it comes up, sort of like air, you don’t think about it, but I’m sure everybody has had a moment where they needed to catch it. If they didn’t, are they living or surviving, though for me it usually comes as a moment of anxiety, how I *sigh* plenty in my writing and I saw something pretty interesting on Instagram today.

Today, I’m more awake and not surprisingly lazier but “trying” not to think about things such as porn, takes plenty out of me but I haven’t taken any naps…am I coming out of my Depression maybe? Why Depression, well we’ll get to that but my little boy is a pain, and it’s hard to stay mad at him, I’m so used to having him around and then to send him away to time out, hurts me more than you, no my “father” found joy in my pain. Speaking of pain I’ve also gotten into buying more books, should I be thinking about how much I failed this week, including reading and I don’t have to, if I knuckle down and get to work right now…

Yeah, the story of my life which leads me to the huge thing I don’t want to think about that starts with the letter D, no not that, and yeah Depression but “The Day” is coming up soon, the worse day of my life. Tell me Lady Luna what could be worse than that, DEATH ha when you think of the odds of any one human being and no I am not a man of faith but neither am I a man of science or anything. Yes, I know words, and that’s what my life should be, hell what my life is; not that they have brought me any such thing as I look over my keywords for twenty-four hours.

One more failure as I didn’t hide ‘the Day” from people deep enough and now I have to look forward to disappointment, disgust, Dad and plenty more D words except the one that’s driving me crazy. Didn’t do me any favors in high school and I had so many names that Willie was only one more, and here I am, one more day down, closer to “The Day” and my Lady Lu how I have wasted A Willing Twenty-four Hours.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 061 ~Gives Me The Willies~

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Writing has a way of revealing secrets, why don’t I do it more often then, maybe because some secrets should remain under the covers like me, but I decided to get up and live the dream perhaps the nightmare. “Gives Me The Willies”

Friday, August 31, 2018

Episode 061 ~Gives Me The Willies~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give Me One Reason, not to be scared of horror movies, and I’ll merely say Take A Look At My Life, a testament to The Walking Dead and yeah maybe you’ll say I’m only lazy, there’s no denying that. I’ve been thinking a lot about these people at the day job, celebrating fifteen years on the job, I’m on seven myself and if I should ever make it to fifteen years in retail, do you know what I would want Sophia honestly?

“Hey, sweetheart. Let me tell you something. You, uh, you have my permission. I ever turn into one of those things? Do me a favor, blow my fucking head off.” ― Dawn of the Dead

Does that sound somewhat harsh to you, yesterday to me is not a tale worth retelling, but I’m going to make a real journal entry for once and tell you about today; I woke up about 6:30 am, and my little boy wanted his walk, but daddy was busy playing The Walking Dead. While outside a young girl said “oh no” which is standard for any of the female species upon seeing me, her mother overheard which got her to bring their dog in that’s always running around. Climbed back into bed to continue my Walking Dead session and then broke my No Fap streak again in less than twenty-four hours, I’m not proud of it or what got me off, damn these Beautiful Girls.

“For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured, since I’d gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. When I got to another ocean, I figured, since I’d gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on going.” ― Forrest Gump (1994)

Woke up so my kid could answer nature’s call and as I told Indiana Gone, I went all “Forrest Gump” since I’d gone this far, I might as well eat breakfast, put on pants, fix another bowl, wash dishes, make the bed, even talk to you. You know something Lady Sophia, I’ve had an epiphany, maybe that’s why dogs are blessed with four legs because today he needed to be the man and I’m no more than an animal, so he loaned me legs. Speaking of being an animal my second epiphany or more an understanding from The Walking Dead or maybe Detroit: Become Human, a bit of both, I haven’t earned the right to be alive Lady Sophia, I live vicariously through the books I read and write, movies, music, games because when I walk outside the thing is:

“But he got real quiet. He said he was dead the minute he stepped in to enemy territory. Every day he woke up and told himself, rest in peace. Now get up and go to war. And then after a few years of pretending he was dead… he made it out alive. That’s the trick of it, I think. We do what we need to do and then, we get to live. But no matter what we find in DC, I know we’ll be okay. Because this is how we survive. We tell ourselves… that we are the walking dead.” ― The Walking Dead 05X10

That’s why I hate “The Day” life to me was never a gift and when two people who gave it regret it why shouldn’t I, sure people at work laugh, people around town too. I give people stuff to do, but if I didn’t exist, people would rest in peace, hell so would I. I don’t have to fear the monsters dear Lady Sophia. I can write to my heart’s content. This life is much scarier. And sitting here another day, going out, almost thirty-four years dodging the box my friend Gives Me The Willies.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 060 ~Will Said Or Not~

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Silence is golden, and unfortunately, I gave it all up to run errands and to talk about other people shutting up which is probably the least offensive thing that I will say today and if only I sounded less stupid. Will Said Or Not

Thursday, August 30, 2018

Episode 060 ~Will Said Or Not~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason not to tell someone to shut up, other than the fact that I like blowjobs, trust me on this, a girl said once if I made her pasta I would get one and while I declined *cue shock* I still wanted the option. I like screams, moans, cries and whimpers, my name on her lips or nasty endearments (Ravishment Fantasy?) with all the noise in this world I like my girls loud.

Then there are days like today when I want everything and everyone to shut up, and if she isn’t gagging on something of mine, then a scarf, any number of tools, hell her panties stuffed in her mouth can help. Maybe I should practice what I preach, especially if I’m not going to talk about my anxiety driving me crazy today but my mind is clear, unfortunately, along with another part of my anatomy, the stress too much but that’s a fucking excuse. So if I don’t want to give explanations, what about the other things we don’t say, I can go forever and a day about the things people think I say, the things I do and don’t, what I mean and what’s fantasy.

Maybe that’s why I have this gagging concept along with some exhibitionism… people but not yet entirely though I’m working up to that, more the idea of a girl being unable to say anything but being watched on camera. I’ve had a thing for photography and portraits lately and watching these girls, not professional models but with such perceptiveness, poise, purity, I’m between Great Teacher Onizuka and Brutal Castings. Of course, I can’t say that stuff out loud; I’m even hesitant to mention it here, though I sent in the money to save the blog but do I honestly want anyone to read it… like me, people will focus on the blowjobs and ignore everything else that I’ve said right?

Hell Dirty Diana I say it time and time again, if I can’t handle this simple stuff what will happen when I’m Christian Grey, Dennis Hof or a man in Hollywood, role models right, the president sleeps with porn stars and wants a space army, no wonder he wants everyone to shut up. I think I’m a great listener Dirty Diana, but today I’m not looking for answers, I’m not looking for advice, not even Poor Sweet Baby, I only want quiet and release and here I am regretting having it, Will Said Or Not.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 057 ~Your Wish, Is Their Command~

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Written and done, spoken and accomplished, if I were going to open my mouth, I would want to be one giving all kinds of orders, but there is a reason I am not the boss of a lot of things and people. Your Wish Is Their Command

Monday, August 27, 2018

Episode 057 ~Your Wish, Is Their Command~

Forty-Seventh Rule Madam Justice

Give Me One Reason to pray, to wish, to write letters to Santa and then I talk about having no faith in the human race. I include myself in that. Then again people have rarely treated me as though I deserve such consideration. To be honest, since I have known treatment less than a man. Is it any wonder that I want to be more than one? I’m sure all fictional writers have looked at themselves as so much the better. After all, we create our universes and lives, right?

I suppose that’s where it started with me. Of course, you know what type of women inspire my female characters. What of the man who inspires most of my male protagonists? The things I want and the things I can never do. Now, this is more of a discussion for Lady Sophia. Once we enter the real world why is it that I need to trick people into buying books. I could point out authors like J.K. Rowling who knew rejection or E.L. James who people hated. Over fifty million copies and that was only one book. I don’t ask people for anything, and I don’t know what I even intended with my novel, but I do want readers and fans. Hell, I would take the infamy of Marquis de Sade, scary don’t you think?

Speaking of which I’ve talked about control and sex… well, I am dominant. People say sex is all about power, and that’s valid. Also again a chat for Dirty Diana, but these rules speak to the different facets of my life. My little man only has four, don’t crap in the house, don’t steal, when I call he shows, and don’t bite the hand that feeds you. People breed complications, yet if I have to condense all my rules down to one, well. I should start with myself; I wish I could be the man I want to be; could I demand that from myself.

Power is all that matters. Haven’t I said that before, talk about love, money, sex, whatever all these are only the forms that it takes. And whatever your poison the idea that my word is law *sigh*. So simple the thought and I can’t help it. Whether it’s over the mob, the world, a love, or yourself. The power to have all that I could desire Madam Justice in life, Your Wish Is Their Command.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 050 ~Winners Do Whatever They Want~

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Today was not a winning day, how I have dreamed a dream for hours on end but I’m only now getting to writing and not on my book mind you though I did accomplish one goal today. Winners Do Whatever They Want, but I’m not there yet.

Monday, August 20, 2018

Episode 050 ~Winners Do Whatever They Want~

Forty-Sixth Rule Madam Justice

Give Me One Reason I didn’t go to prom, besides not having a date, almost scared to death, or not believing in anything. Talk about faith, “that’s a pretty bad way to start a conversation” as Kanye West would say. What about people who aren’t winning anymore and the things I do win? I’ve never seen that movie “Eighth Grade” (thank you Regal Cinemas), but I know all about winning the QUIETEST Award. No thanks.

“Okay,” asked me about fearing success, or does my discovery scare me. I suppose it depends on how I see being a winner, and that to me equals, having the money, the power, and then the women. Typical black man Scarface logic. I was thinking about my Pinterest boards again, particularly Future Freaky Females. Yeah if I were anybody else, I would hate me. Such are fantasies, and the girls I never had. What of dreams, there was the one last night; my dream girls are always changing. When has the end of the world ever been winning? Why I still write all about it.

Anyway, I was with this girl, and we were hiding from something, and for the life of me, I can’t identify her. Other than the fact she had slight curves, a brunette or dark redhead, and she wore a short black dress. For what I know it could be Megan Fox (okay black hair) but black lingerie, this girl I used to know. Sandra Luberc, Chelsea From Casting Couch HD or this Milf that’s had me edging today. It’s like that song “When Somebody Loves You Back” that’s winning. Didn’t I say yesterday that love isn’t a prize and I don’t love those I named? Actresses, friends and enemies and I could go add on.

“To never die… And to conquer all. That is winning.”

Now my search for power leads me to this conclusion from Illyria. If there is any group that understands this, it is writers. Immortality and the few that continue to make us look like rank amateurs. If it’s love, I have my son but how much does he understand me? I would never hurt him… well, his feelings but how about my species my Justice?

I win, and somebody else has to lose, and it’s like the phrase “Just Kidding” if we’re both not laughing then it’s not funny. I read somewhere it’s not lonely at the top if you pull someone up with you. One day if I win I’ll have more time because Winners Do Whatever They Want.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 032 ~Whip, Wickedness, And Will~

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So no rest for the wicked as the song goes and when it comes to the bedroom; there are plenty of reasons I only average about four hours a night, the will to succeed with dirty words like these. “Whip, Wickedness, And Will” to use them

Thursday, August 2, 2018

Episode 032 ~Whip, Wickedness, And Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason to use them, this week, strangely enough, has been about tools and weapons and while I may use a belt to hold up my pants, I would hate the feeling of one on my behind. Then again I will admit I do have this thing about being spanked with a hand or having my ass squeezed by a girl when she’s giving me a blowjob; truthfully, I’m more of a breast man but I also like legs too and volleyball asses, thank you “The Miracle Season” ha.

I’ve been commenting on Twitter to Alice Little who works at The Moonlite Bunny Ranch, and she asked where do you like being touched, and besides the obvious, to me, it’s the hands, I’ve said I’m a traditionalist or just old, but “I Wanna Hold Your Hand.” Now afterward I want to tie them up, preferably with lingerie or scarves, I need more experience with rope and putting someone in a collar with a chain… yeah, maybe knotting is the middle of the road, I tend to go from one extreme to the other. Dildos, is saying I’m Turning Japanese going too far; I say this for three reasons, one penetrating a girl everywhere, when did I get into tentacles, two I don’t share though gangbanging a girl is intriguing I’d sooner have two girls to myself or a harem and three she’ll need blindfolding.

I discussed weapons before “Will Cupid Manufacture Weapons” and a whip is that, though hurting people in violence is one thing, sexually well I am a sadist, guilty as charged Dirty Diana. Terms like Sadism, Ravishment, BDSM, my library is full of these studies, and at the same time, SSC and RACK are present as well because apparently, I care more about women than the current administration of this country and yet I’m the bad guy. In most scenes, I am The Bad Guy making some girls The Impossible Dream like another woman from The Moonlite Bunny Ranch I know.

I see that in my novel, there is already one gangbang scene, and sex with robots… talk about an expensive toy, Real Doll, now that would be something to hide along with any tools and the lingerie for one woman that didn’t happen. It could be that I’m broke and not only mentally, yeah otherwise I would be headed down Nevada way to be sure, my Whip, Wickedness, And Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 025 ~Go To Hell Will~

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Not as “Hot, Hot, Hot,” as I wanted it to be, but Hell can be a confusing place as they say Hell freezes over and Dante decided to take a tour of the area, and video game Dante *sigh* what women get men into right? Go To Hell Will

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Episode 025 ~Go To Hell Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason to come up with a more original title; it’s not as familiar as I like and it certainly beats “skeevy,” and I can already hear you groaning here we go but aren’t thoughts of the Bitch another level of Hell? In truth, though as I’ve said before Hell can be a cold place so why is it the way becomes lit by fire the whole path there, and then we all end up getting burned and how do we nurse ourselves again?

“Some women can’t handle the fire. Some can.” Bruce Almighty

Tonight though I don’t want to talk about being alone, instead let’s focus on all of the reasons I’m going to get burned the first being I’m quite shallow, or some would say thirsty. Okay so I’m trying to be less self-deprecating, I’m still on a motivational kick these days, and with what I usually think about myself, I Still Believe there isn’t a body issue to be had. However, admiring a woman’s body is enough to end some, and I can only call someone beautiful for so long and yes there is something to be said for subtlety but fuck me is the ultimate goal when it comes to men and women but sensitive.

Now while I ’m never that crass, I compared the Bitch to a Brazzers pornstar; let’s say I have a woman in bed and one of the first things I learned as a Dominant is you never do so out of anger, Christian Grey was mad at his mother, rage has no place. It’s one of the reasons I enjoy sex so much; think The Screwfly Solution and for the record I’ve never harmed a woman, I hit my sister but I was a child, I was fighting girls when I was in the third grade; anyway sex gets me hot and doesn’t that trump anger? I’ve even talked about this before, how I’m more inclined to cover girls up in pretty outfits or at least in silk and lace binds or their underwear and anything else I would do?

One has to wonder since the Bible does talk about sex is there some method of “making love” that is specifically designed to keep one out of Hell and don’t say marriage because even if I were happily married, I would burn for my wife. Nowadays though my heart is frozen and below the belt, a cold shower might help, but no, I let freezing memories wash over me because well Go To Hell Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 018 ~Do You Lust Me~

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I always feel like, somebody’s watching me as the song goes and I wonder what they’re doing because I doubt it’s anything sexy and even if they loved me, would they admit to something like this? Do You Lust me?

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Episode 018 ~Do You Lust Me~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason to be a sex symbol other than the entire world going blind; how I’ve found myself in the mirror plenty for a couple of days and Saturday all I can see is fear, and it’s cuter than me, dammit. When I was a teenager there was this girl that sat with me at lunch, we rarely talked, and I can’t say I was attracted to her in the slightest, but my ‘father” asks how did I know how she sees me and yeah I don’t know honestly.

I’ve known maybe one girl in two years possibly who openly told me that she wanted to fuck me and you want to know how does it feel for me to hear that, honestly they should bottle such an emotion. On the other hand, I honestly need to know when to shut the fuck up, playing games with another girl, and I got her and her giggly friend to look me up on Facebook, and that’s all she wrote there. Let’s call her Zibby to my Jesse, the same girl that got me going but no I haven’t told her off yet Dirty Diana, that’s one fear I haven’t had to face as of yet, and the thing is what if I’m still 100% clueless?

Lost Without U, I’ve said some stupid things to girls to be quite honest, and we still remember the bitch who I haven’t looked up at all this year; I’ve never tracked people down, or hidden in dumpsters. Okay this is more of a conversation for Inspector Echo, and I’ve probably already had it, and with you too, the desire to have some girl go all “Taylor Townsend” on my ass, You Don’t Know My Name, I’d even take Amber from “Kill Theory.” A dominant I am but to have the girl chase the monster and then when she finally finds me, we’ll see how badly she wants to play, but that Dirty Diana is a dream, however with my book… who knows, could happen.

One woman looked me up on Whisper and as soon as she saw my face; it’s hard to have body issues when people never get past the mask, and yeah women have some problems with men but if some woman came after me? Not in a psychotic, I want to kill you sort of way, more like U Got It Bad, how North looks at Markus (thank you Detroit: Become Human) way *sigh* asking the obvious, Do You Lust Me.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 017 ~Fires of Mt. Motivation~

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If I were asked this moment what inspired a year’s worth of writing, nearly four books, buying space for a blog, fighting like Hell to keep it and more, find a person that makes your blood boil and then get it out of you. Fires of Mt. Motivation

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Episode 017 ~Fires of Mt. Motivation~

Forgive Me Echo,
Give me one reason other than fear; I have believed for the longest time that if fear is all you have to get someone to see your point of view, then you don’t have much to offer; the fires of Hell won’t scare me into the light of Heaven. Now I’ve been all about flames and the Devil these days, but no one has given me any reason why I should want to go to Heaven when my idea of paradise is what’s going to get me into Hell without a doubt.

What’s “interesting” (how I hate that word) is the fact that the concept of FEAR is cold; one more reason why I’m always in my hoodies, and it’s Summertime, honestly do you know how long it took me to show up in my trunks at the pool? When I was learning how to swim, and I never did, all I remember is the cold and at the same time when I wasn’t afraid I couldn’t get enough of the water, the pool, the lake, I’m not going back to my brief stint in the Navy. Where’s the motivation then, is it merely my desire to escape the cold, you know the ninth circle of Hell is that of Treachery and these past few days, despite waking up an hour early, writing, coming to the library I feel, “success in progress.”

Okay, more to the point FAILURE like last night and this afternoon so what drove me to come out today; first and foremost, my desire, talk about setting your feet to the fire whether it be for material possession, the fact that I looked up the word “Quadrillion.” Finishing my latest novel, and as always women, which leads me to humiliation, that sort of heat puts fire in my fingertips, and still, I bury myself in blankets and Puppy Love but haven’t I said once where my courage comes into play. Anger, that’s what I feel when I’m at work, and I’m thinking I should be writing, how about when I woke up this afternoon, and I was pissed because it was one, and I finished that Spotify Motivational playlist.

Still, I couldn’t get here sooner, I’m motivated, don’t get me wrong, tomorrow I’ll wake up and write seven hundred words, I’ll come to the library, and I will write another five thousand words. So why do I need forgiveness, forgive me for learning how to accept the cold, for not yet trying hard enough to escape it, for all my hellish desires, my fear of humiliation, the anger I have, Fires of Mt. Motivation.

I Will Have No Fear