Tag: Christmas

Gospel 164 ~The Will Of Steel~

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Steal, Still, Steel, language can be a miraculous thing though most days I spend talking to myself or my Dæmon and usually we’re both out cold like today. I wore out the snooze button with my clumsiness. “The Will Of Steel.”

Saturday, December 12, 2020

Gospel 164 ~The Will Of Steel~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you have got to remind me of this title after Christmas. You don’t know how I really want to turn this into, you know. Hell, even when I’m not in the mood, it’s like being the HULK. That’s the thing, Lady Lu, I’m always, sigh. Anyway, today I feel heavy, heavy-handed, ham-fisted, and being handled by life. Yet with these hands, I still find a way to push the buttons on alarm clocks. I might as well pin my legs to the bed. Um, there’s the six impossible things I keep going at or not.

Stealing more hours from my future self than I care to admit Lady Lu. You can see what time it is now. Even with everything that happened yesterday, I was still earlier than now. Of course, you can ask Lady Sophia about that because I rather forget. Well, until Friday. Stealing another moment that could bring about happiness. Only again, I instead wallow in self-pity. If anything, it beats what else I would be doing. Indiana Gone asked me what I wanted for Christmas. One of those phone cleaners? The real dirt, I added myself.

Still, every day, I go out and fight the fight. Now when I say go out, that could mean on most days only crawling out of my bed. Ask me where I am now, and that would be the loveseat in my den/game room, my Dæmon by my side. And my hands to the keyboard. Still, trying to make something of my life at least until 5:30 PM, and then what? Phone games until 6:00 PM, and then I’m killing cultists… in another game. Why am I still surprised that saying such a thing is acceptable but not some others?

Steel for real as the world falls apart and people are getting crazier by the day. I’m not ready to spend $500 to save the car I have because I need to save my black ass. Oh, I said that the gun I have scares me? I’m like Kevin Bacon/Nick Hume in Death Sentence 2007. Steel, like gold, is in short supply these days. Or is it the fact that I’m lazy as all Hell again like today? And with these hands, why be distracted, dirty, or even somewhat dangerous.

The real me sacrificed for this, The Will Of Steel.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 161 ~Will Takes A Break~

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Another week, another Christmas book, or more a novella. What am I taking a break from reading anything real? Says the man who’s been lost in Eric Vall’s novels? What else have I been doing besides sleeping, hmm? “Will Takes A Break,” again

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Gospel 161 ~Will Takes A Break~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should be “EVIL…” The other day I read something to the tune of a billionaire is like a dragon hoarding wealth. Add to my list of things to do; sleeping on a pile of money. That’s me taking a break. I only sleep. Don’t worry, Inspector Echo. If last night was any sign. When it comes to talking to you and the girls, I’m like Edward Cullen meets Bella Swan. We’ll get into books in a minute or later. It’s almost 6:00 PM, meaning it’s time for some Far Cry 5 and WWE.

Now I talked about the DRAGON and all, but here’s something else. Idle hands are the Devil’s playthings. Again I’m getting back into gaming because I have to give myself things to do. You must be thinking, “killing cultists?” Well, they ain’t MAGA hats, hmm? Okay, that was pretty dark but, don’t ask me to go darker. I still think about that book from K Webster from time to time. I imagine I would have liked such a thing once. For now, it creeps me out what occurred at the end. Oh, and the 2nd comes out in a month. I’m thankful I finished “Sinning The Cherry On Top,” but you don’t know what it’s like. I hate not working on it, and the conclusion, and then picking it up again. Once I thought it was the reason that I couldn’t get to bed at a decent time. So what did I do last night?

Well, I mean besides talking to Madam Justice and finally getting to bed around 4:00 AM? Let’s say starting that morning is a blur, and I literally can’t talk about it. Yet again, my Republican tendencies of knowing, wanting honesty, but I won’t utter anything. Sadly, I won’t be completing my Six Impossible Things. You can take your pick on the number except if it’s six. I’m reading another Christmas story, a novella. Inspector Echo, you can call me lazy for all the breaks I’ve been taking. Indulging within procrastination. Only now, I’m trying to hide away from life, from knowing right and wrong. And of course, from the Day Job that breaks me more than anything and yet I go don’t I, my schedule.

A lucky break ain’t coming, and I’m sorry I believed such. Will Takes A Break

I Will Have No Fear

Log 179 ~Will’s Books Aren’t Fair~

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I could finish reading one more book, reviewing one perhaps, I could even revise one if I didn’t stay in bed all-day or if I went to bed at a decent hour; before 1:30 in the morning. I should treat every day like a Book Fair. Will’s Books Aren’t Fair

Friday, December 27, 2019

Log 179 ~Will’s Books Aren’t Fair~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now; I tell you it’s like Book Fair Week every day. Am I upset I didn’t get anything for Christmas? Okay, when I was a kid, I didn’t have any money for the Book Fair. I bawled, but somebody bought me a book on baseball. Now while I loathe baseball, I did gain a passion for reading and maybe sex. My point is that it was one more reason I wanted to write books. Well, also recognizing my name to be sure.

So today isn’t Friday as you noticed, I’m still staying a day ahead. I wrote on Christmas Day because, honestly, what else was there to do all day? I’m time-traveling again as it were, trying to, I don’t know, change my future. I didn’t start SIGH today. I meant to do so much work on GULP. Again I had a hardy breakfast. Judging by the weight of My Dæmon, he’s reaping the benefits. Something more to be grateful for, I know. What about on Christmas Day I played Far Cry 5, and I did not shoot the deputy or let anyone else kill him. In all fairness, I didn’t play for a full hour either, NXT was on, and I fell asleep during that sadly. Some stories are more equal than others. I want my tales to be at the top of the heap. When somebody asks me what my book is about, Willie, Warfare, and Women, though order changes.

It’s not fair that I didn’t get to work on my story today. I would indeed dream of myself successful. Instead of doing anything about its creation. Lady Sophia, I did dream about that movie Harlem Nights and even that club in Life, “Ray’s Boom, Boom Room.” You know I wouldn’t get caught dead in a tux, so what could the dream mean? I want to have a level of success like Eddie Murphy, no doubt. A tux is black and white, and I’m a writer, so enough said. No, I won’t go all Sigmund Freud on this because today, see now it’s Thursday, but I posted already. Friday is about writing, but it’s still Thursday at this moment. I promise you my books aren’t so complicated. Somebody always ends up running a brothel, and everything will go, BOOM, BOOM.

Bedsprings and headboards, books, bombs, well Will’s Books Aren’t Fair.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 177 ~Will Wait For You~

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Merry Christmas, but the TRUTH isn’t a gift many people want but we all need, only as I asked myself, did I honestly need to say all of this on such a “magical,” “holy,” “capitalistic” day? Will Wait For You, and Happy Holidays

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Log 177 ~Will Wait For You~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m waiting to see that man in the mirror? If anything, I told myself I would be dreaming in bed tonight. A full eight hours, 11:00 PM to 7:00 AM, but at the moment it’s 10:55 PM. I guess I couldn’t wait, and no, I’m not going to sing the chorus of “I Don’t Want To Wait.” Now before we get into what I said Christmas Eve, ahem Merry Christmas to you, me, everybody. I’ll still not a man of faith Inspector Echo, but you know I’m always running. Escaping my past, one day somehow?

Okay, so that leads me back into yesterday, Ha, Ha. I was talking about songs that I’m still getting over, and those are only some of my many humiliations. You’re asking me, must I do this today or again shouldn’t I go to bed? You remember Sunday, July 02, 2017, Lesson 001, Look Who Grossed Up? The beginning of my new blog, a conversation with Lady Luna. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I couldn’t sleep then either all because of what I said to a woman. These past few days, I’ve been commenting on another blog. I have the right to exist; that’s my mantra at the Day Job. Only I shouldn’t have talked to that woman like that and at work? It’s like breathing is an insult to everyone, even me, dear Inspector Echo.

Humming Her Humiliations Playlist:

  1. Something Just Like This
  2. Oops (Oh My)
  3. break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored
  4. Touch My Body

So which is it, and I waiting for Santa, Jesus, some pretty girl, can’t I save myself? Flipping the coin, what is it that I want and I can give you the same answer as always. I want to write a bestseller, take the cash and move to Nevada. Inspector Echo I’ll work with Dennis Hof’s crew or set out alone. Brothel, strip club, hotel, movie studio, modeling agency, more. It’s not like Santa is going to drop a few million in my bank account tonight. Jesus has never given me peace of mind. I’ve fought his followers, starting with my “father.” Girls of the world ain’t nothing but trouble but money, power, then the women, but tonight’s Christmas wish.

11:35 PM, don’t regret tomorrow, LIVE, Will Wait For You.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 176 ~Will And Christmas Eve~

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Does this sound anything like last week, at least now I could call it “TRADITION,” and I don’t have many of those, more like routines but I have no idea what tomorrow will be but if I could play Santa? Will And Christmas Eve.

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Log 176 ~Will And Christmas Eve~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but the weather is something money can’t change. Yes, I know where my mind is going; don’t be so negative, focus on the tree in our living room. Okay, better the presents that are going around it right now. Well, more like tonight, I still have to play Santa, and what about you, Mrs. Claus, my Christmas Eve? I promise you one of these days we’ll have all sorts of Christmas traditions. A few billion isn’t enough? Yeah, aren’t we about to become some Hallmark movie.

Okay, so with Christmas movies in general, one of my favorites, A Christmas Story. I’ve always been a sucker for A Christmas Carol, including A Diva’s Christmas Carol, shocking. While I don’t remember the last Hallmark movie, some of those Christian movies are pretty good. Okay, let the presents be the most surprising thing for today and tomorrow. Oh, like my Spotify playlist, yeah, the Christmas selection isn’t much, still under an hour. Not much time for the most wonderful time of the year? I’m trying, no more like I’m doing, and Yoda is green. Now would be an excellent time actually to catch one of those old Star Wars specials. How about Charlie Brown as well, I’m not that old right but Santa Claus?

Anyway, I would say let’s go on vacation if Home Alone hadn’t scarred me for life. I’m joking, but I do want the family to see a White Christmas now and then sure. Okay, a Christmas Carol with Vanessa Williams, Christian movies, and now being cold? I’ll see myself out if you light one of those cookie candles like my mother would. If there is chicken frying in the morning, and of course, the two of us canoodling. Now that’s something that happens every day, loving you. I don’t need Stevie Wonder’s Someday At Christmas. I think I have said this once but NO MARIAH CAREY. There is an exception to that “Always Be My Baby,” or “Touch My Body.” The second one goes in my list of songs that embarrass me, hmm one more thing I need to do today. As I said, Santa is busy, and I intend to get a full night’s rest to play him, daddy, and husband all for tomorrow.

So looking to our tree, is that a star or apple; Will And Christmas Eve.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 169 ~Will At Least Until~

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Could this be my Christmas list or maybe despite everything, I’ll end up making a Hallmark movie at some point, or perhaps I’m like Santa when he needs to keep the elves hustling whatever the case? “Will At Least Until.”

Tuesday, December 17, 2019

Log 169 ~Will At Least Until~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m still Will somehow. Know Thyself, isn’t that right and I’ll tell you what I know. I know how I want to make my daily bread, I love you and our children more each day, and I can be a better man, every single day.

At least I’m trying, but then I look at Santa, who hasn’t changed a bit. Tradition despite everything, and while I’m real with you, I want to be magical for them. My little Dæmon knows his meals, quadruple in size. He and all our kids take pictures with Santa Claus. We bake cookies for him because my mom had one of those Chocolate Chip smelling candles. Talk about another definition of insanity. We watch all the Christmas specials on TV. A Christmas Story, Charlie Brown, A Christmas Carol, etc. I want to drive around and look at all the lights. We can trim the tree as a family. Every night before bed, I want to read them different Christmas tales. Yes, I’m trying to give Hallmark a run for their money. My Christmases didn’t include all this, but I want ours to be so perfect.

You and I can go out and see the new Star Wars. I’m looking forward to more of a red lightsaber than a suit I’ll tell you that babydoll. Still, I want to stay up at night reading novels. Accidental Santa, Christmas Cake, and that reminds me to lookup more stuff on Amazon. Our kids have Christmas List, but what about you, My Love. Well, after we fight the crowds in-store together. I suppose this is one more reason to learn how to get up early these mornings or why even bother sleeping at all.

What about when all the presents bring their joys and the year is counting down. I’m still not much of a drinker, the person I become. What happier for a bit, why can’t that be all the time? Baby girl, how I try with each moment. It shouldn’t be the season but always and forever, and I am a better man than I was before. So you ask me what I want for Christmas, and I remember my childhood. My lists were huge, and I don’t want to break out into Mariah Carey’s classic hit.

Now waiting for 24th to 1st, Will At Least Until

I Will Have No Fear

Log 162 ~A “Will” Good Morning~

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Well I did it again, maybe not, 15 minutes later but come on I need at least three hours of sleep, still, I consider it a win and with the holidays coming up I’ll need all the energy I can get for the “family.” A “Will” Good Morning, I hope

Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Log 162 ~A “Will” Good Morning~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so why not stay in bed with you? Right now, it’s way too early, even for tradition. I read somewhere that boys marry girls that are like their mothers. Again, look at the time, I have dreams to chase, a Dæmon to look after, and demands to make. Better than demands to take like at the old job. Still, even with what I’ve made my life’s work, I don’t see any reason to rise at this hour. Nothing good ever happens after 2 a.m. only now?

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, THEY say. I still have mixed feelings about the holiday season. Once again, I’m a traditionalist, so playing Santa for our children? I want to see happy faces under the tree. If I want that, then it means working hard right now or maybe not, my love. When you do what you love and all that, but I can still be tired, right? I don’t think I even got three hours of sleep, but then I looked at you, baby doll. Yes, I am one of those types that will say you’re beautiful no matter what. Some devote their lives to studying the stars in the sky. Others have faith in angels. I have you beside me, and I don’t mean to get all sappy. Well, I don’t drink coffee, and I lost my morning cappuccino, wanting to get to work quickly.

“It doesn’t take a whole day to recognize sunshine.” FTWD

I don’t know how my mother did it all during the holidays. She would spend hours cooking up this brunch of all the classics, pancakes, bacon, sausage on one side. Then she would have all this fried chicken. Now I have been a Southern boy since I turned six to be fair. Do I expect us to one day to brave the crowds on Black Friday? I mentioned Jada Cato from It’s A Southern Thing yesterday. Why do think I work in my industry, or wake up at 2 AM? Okay, despite my worries. That is why I did go and fetch that cappuccino and returned to lay by your side. The world is full of would-be Santas. Anyway, I can think of worse ways to wake up. As long as we’re together warm, I suppose I want our kids to see a White Christmas.

Yeah, I’m not driving, ha that’s A “Will” Good Morning.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 180 ~Sick Of Know Will~

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Well aren’t I running late today with everything, bills, conversation, and I’m sure there is a NO someplace, but that would require asking the question and don’t I think I know everything hmm? Sick Of Know Will

Friday, December 28, 2018

Episode 180 ~Sick Of Know Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, have the guts to go after something harder than that; ahem, my Motivations, one says it’s never about the prize but the pride, for example, I can buy a NaNoWriMo winner’s shirt, but I believe one must earn it. Believe, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I could, should, and would write fifty thousand words, even more than that it was fact Lady Sophia, before the first word, there was my goal point blank.

Another Motivation, Hero Of Your Own Story and you’ve heard this a million times over, I wake up because I have to, I’m always grateful for B III’s safety and health, I don’t look in the mirror and I’m starting to think, maybe it’s because I KNOW who I am. Makes me a hypocrite saying I’m lost all the time or wandering at least, yes one foot in front of another today, tomorrow, every day zombified. When somebody new sees me well; to write you bleed, you spit venom, you breathe fire, and so you live, writing is living Lady Sophia, cage, institution, torture chamber, hell a concentration camp, a hospital, a library is a hospital for the HUMAN mind.

So how do I get discharged hmm… of course I talk to you but honestly what does this make me; well on top of everything else I’m tired, work, errands, I am keeping up with Christmas Cake: A Holiday Collection by Celia Aaron but that doesn’t count as work. I have such plans for tomorrow, promises but will I keep any of them, will I write them down, you know I do that every Sunday and again I know I won’t keep them, isn’t that precisely the type of man I am now? Speaking of man, you know what I have wanted to write all day, I asked “Okay,” “Indiana Gone,” and “M Anime” and they all agree but I have yet to make that move because I have no problem saying I’m afraid, twenty seconds of insane fucking courage.

I’m sick of knowing the answers to everything, that you don’t understand me one bit, that I’m looking at an F come Sunday and of losing more friends and light when she says NO. You get discharged by accepting the fact and doing it anyway because that my dear Lady Sophia is what living is, courage is not the absence of fear, it’s the knowledge that yeah you’re going to die, but for a second, twenty, you’re alive, and I’m not Sick Of Know Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 179 ~Willies Under The Tree~

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I wouldn’t make Santa out to be a pimp or a dominant, only the owner of a big corporation so that he doesn’t have to worry about money, with one woman he’s been with forever and some little ones that aren’t his but he cares… “Willies Under The Tree.”

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Episode 179 ~Willies Under The Tree~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, Christmas isn’t that expensive; love is priceless, but the present, a gift, that wish, when a girl’s on her knees, when she shuts her eyes, hell when you leave her breathless. God, Daddy, ha my name would be good, but I don’t know many girls who call out to Santa and am I still hoping I’ll end up with some sexy eighteen-year-old vixen one day?

My tastes lately have let’s say matured though I’m not giving up but am I even “trying” at all or maybe I have more sense surprisingly… I didn’t buy any lingerie this Christmas though I’ve tossed around a bit of Erotica. One way or another it’s all about keeping the girl around isn’t it, Baby It’s Cold Outside so yeah it was bras and bikinis one year, books this one, and of course my BDSM lifestyle is all year round. The ideas of ribbons and bows give me a hard-on, and again I like wrapping up a P.Y.T but maybe what’s bothering me today, being dominant is one thing, and if you can love someone, well you can do anything but Santa loves the wives, mothers, and singles too right.

Ho, Ho, Ho indeed, because I want the girl and like any Dom, I want all that she is, now and how many times have you heard me say (from my Motivations) I’m not preaching separatism or isolation, what I desire is to know a woman like no one else. In return, I would give all of myself, and I would want for her to wish for it, be wanton for this, how about being wistful about me. It’s scary to know desire so badly and graver still if not but not from a lack of submission or devotion, instead because there is another life, and as always any man takes care of what; who belongs to him and if his woman values something even more than herself he must in turn value such too.

Newton, Santa, Mother Nature leave something under the tree, gifts to the world and I haven’t heard any complaints yet about mine… other than being a tad bit inappropriate at times. Not today though, this isn’t anywhere near lascivious, this time of the year but what about the rest of this month: sad perhaps this being our last conversation this year, Willies Under The Tree.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 178 ~A Professional Eraser Will~

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Writer’s Block, yeah in a way because I have no clue what I was thinking today and then we had yesterday, I broke out of my place, got into a present, and of course cracked open one more book, and became someone else, sigh. A Professional Eraser Will

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Episode 178 ~A Professional Eraser Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, well when I was in school, I had a friend they called SKINS, don’t ask me why, that memory sigh deleted, erased… but I don’t think it was because he was “hitting the skins,” anyway he wanted to be a hitman, an eraser. The things young men think about and in so doing since I can be anything I want even at my age I decided that I wanted to be a writer and that in itself is sin number one.

Now, this is more Lady Sophia’s barrel of laughs, but there is not a doubt in my mind that writing is what I’m meant to do so sin number two, what have I been doing all day besides sleeping… anyway living out my purpose has led to two things. For a third sin I don’t recognize who I am most days, hell in my last story we have a brothel owner, wolf boy, a MILF doctor, and inspirations from MOLD. My fourth sin is overthinking, the “man” talking to you now with the stomachache, the kid on his lap, and who is hyped up on an energy shot is the same one who is slamming his head on a steering wheel on Christmas morning yesterday.

“Cogito Ergo Doleo” I Think Therefore I Suffer, how many people do I know speak Latin but it’s not going anywhere and don’t I want to be immortal as a writer and yet my words are probably sitting in some old church lady’s glove box, in police reports, my name in some girl’s blog. So what is today’s point; well you’ve heard me talk about my “White Wall Theory” you know, scribbling on my skull, reading books, and of course, writing, and in one way I’m “trying” to erase myself, write over it, lose myself between the lines of “code.” Which leads to my fifth sin, my Motivations are saying that everything you want lies on the other side of fear and so I ask instead of erasing, editing, E-reading, who I am or want to be, shouldn’t I break?

The wall I mean, hell Trump should have hired me because I have built something that keeps out everything and keeps me in an asylum and wondering why the outside is so scary or even who do I think I’m protecting? Hell, “Indiana Gone” bought me the Zombie Survival Crate from Man Crates and if that doesn’t show the man I honestly am, a survivor of the DEAD, the Dominant, a Devil in disguise, but breaking into that crate was far quicker than saying I’ll Break The Walls Down when I rather apologize for all of my weakness Inspector Echo.

I am sorry for my profession and wasting it, for losing myself and hastily rebuilding myself with my overthinking, and keeping all of my fears inside or using them against a wall I can’t break, no A Professional Eraser Will.

I Will Have No Fear