Tag: Honesty

Episode 092 ~Riches, But Looking For More~

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I wish I could say it’s just money that I was burning and that I didn’t have to worry about it because there would always be more but what about time and words, doesn’t that count for more, sadly Riches, But Looking For More.

Monday, October 1, 2018

Episode 092 ~Riches, But Looking For More~

Fifty-Second Rule Madam Justice

How to make One Million Dollars, or maybe the real question is, why do I want to make one million dollars, when in the end I want so much more than that, but this is about stepping away from money right, nobody’s paying me a damn thing yet. I refuse to say I’m looking for happiness, revenge is a poison Madam Justice, and somebody said everything is about sex but sex is about power, and I say I want to be full, but at the same time I give all I have to you here.

There is no trouble at all telling you what I want but as for today as always I want people to suffer, to pay, I want retribution, I want my anger, as a matter of fact, I need rage if I’m going to get everything done today and even now I’m wasting time. Somewhere it’s written that one would instead feel something than nothing and I believe that in a way humans are greedy and as much as one may want to, you can’t wake up happy. Trees convert carbon monoxide into oxygen; they take what the world gives them and produce something positive for somebody else, I work the same way, I take the hurt and the pain and make smiles, for somebody else, I live off the misery as if I were a masochist, but I prefer sadism.

Didn’t I say yesterday that this is supposed to be the week of positive thinking and how many times have I said that I’m grateful, but today I want a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese meal, a new Kindle Tablet, and to be done writing because I’m saying three thousand words. Now I could have all of that at this very moment Madam Justice but what would I have left here, how would I feel afterward, I suppose the same with you know what. How will I believe if I do get this accomplished, I woke up early today, made my bed, worked, got off an hour ahead of my shift, I felt like a winner for a bit but where did that feeling go and that’s how it goes with happiness honestly. Isn’t that why the writers keep going, the Republicans keep stealing, and the dog keeps snuggling because it is never enough, is that why I dreamed of Daybreakers last night, I suppose.

True enough I could list everything I want, and that might solve my problem because I would be writing forever, but the greatest riches a writer could have is readers, immortality, worlds of their own, Riches, But Looking For More.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 091 ~To The Positive Will~

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They say a few drinks; well, I only need one, but maybe this is one more addiction, the misery, the depression, and when I do “party?” Honestly, it’s a responsibility to feel good but with this week? “To A Positive Will”

Sunday, September 30, 2018

Episode 091 ~To The Positive Will~

To Will:
How to make One Million Dollars, well first don’t spend all your money on liquor and Indiana Gone would tell you that you’re not much of a drinker; one glass of wine honestly and you’ve had more than one some occasions. Hell you still have how many Root “Beers” and a bottle of wine but you do understand that it can make you brave, bold and even full of bliss or “filling” that but you’re “trying” not to feel that at the moment *sigh* Alexa Bliss but you actually blew it on another MILF, such is your disappointment.

Regret, disappointment, and our good friend FEAR and shouldn’t we also talk about laziness, after today you won’t, I mean, it’s done, it’s over this week and even this moment besides wasting today, making a mess and worrying about tomorrow what’s left. That’s the thing, there’s nothing, for the past few weeks, it’s been sort of like the opposite of Pandora’s Box, every negative thing comes in, I burn it away with lust and rage, and I don’t know if hope is a phoenix or that she’s fled. Sometimes I envy people who can anesthetize themselves with anything and everything, drugs, drinks, or destruction, isn’t that what I do every week with Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Review “Ven” (V Games) Ker Dukey and K. Webster
Failed
4. I Will Review “Life Itself”
Failed
5. I Will Finish “Under His Heel.” By Adara Wolf
Failed
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”
Failed

One freaking point, you’re alive, I survived, and I’m telling you to live on more than bloodlust, retail therapy, fapping, being love stoned, and whatever else there is, Will, my friend you’re dying. Fire can cook food but too much or not enough and there’s danger, it can warm your home or burn it down, it can light the way or reveal Hell itself and what is it that you choose this week. No like any addict you want a hit and then you wait for the end of the world, and yes I’m harsh because at this rate what else is there I ask? I mean if it’s not rage, not sex, for damn sure you’re not a decent person with Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Review “Ven” (V Games) Ker Dukey and K. Webster
4. I Will Review “Life Itself”
5. I Will Finish “Under His Heel.” By Adara Wolf
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”

Why even bother changing the list this week, some people tell the day by the bottle that they drink as Bon Jovi put it, you know the day by all the stuff that you won’t do today, tomorrow, two days from now but let “Okay” come over, and suddenly you’re up. That’s the moral of the story Will, find something that gets you up, other than a woman that you won’t touch, or some other vice; To A Positive Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 088 ~Innocent Until Proven Willing~

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They say boys will be boys but to hell with anybody telling me that, I was never the typical boy, and if you say I’ve grown up, well watching the news counts for something and what are my secrets. Innocent Until Proven Willing ha!

Thursday, September 27, 2018

Episode 088 ~Innocent Until Proven Willing~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How to make One Million Dollars, become a Supreme Court Justice but who and I to judge… well I don’t drug women for starters, I wrestled with one playfully, and when she told me to stop I did, and “Lolicon” has always rubbed me the wrong way. I know a woman who’s into DDLG and other than pretty dresses I consider myself well, not precisely a daddy dom but if I were, I’m more DDMG or DDBG, so you know Diana.

Now why do I bring this up, because I know the difference between reality and fiction, I don’t have any need to bury my past, and as fucked up as my game is, I have my dominant side and don’t have to make excuses or convince people I’m not “evil.” Now that woman I told you about, she’s sweet, smart, and Somebody’s Baby but she joked with me about her fiancé like something out of “The Girl’s Guide of Depravity” because she’s horny, but he’s waiting until their wedding, so she wanted to rev him up with drugs. So I brought up this scene from Revenge of the Nerds between Lewis Skolnick and Betty Childs about how he tricked her into, but because she was into it, he got off with doing what he did.

Maybe today is about me attempting to justify my perversions; I read the works of this one author Roosh V, is he a racist, well I haven’t learned enough but is he a rapist, not that I know of because he said a girl would let you get away with such if she likes you or rich Mr. Trump? Then we have Brett Kavanaugh, did he do it, I don’t know but having Trump in your corner, demonizing a woman who has nothing to gain, and having people explain you were a kid when actual children get shot for nothing, and Bill Cosby getting locked up doesn’t help. It’s also not helping that a group of men only salivate to hear the sordid details like something out of Silver Linings Playbook but here’s the thing, stories about drunken parties, running trains on girls, sexy costumes, consensual questions, get me off.

Let me reiterate that I know the difference between fact and fiction, consent and illegal, but the stories Dirty Diana, I have this one fantasy about a friend who filmed herself drunk and I imagine her first time being “taken” or this MILF I know and this witchy costume… How about “Of Inner Demons,” “Vault Girls,” or this fetish for clothing, I want to search for one particular piece but the stories of why… one day we will talk about the Ravishment fantasy, but today I’m Innocent Until Proven Willing.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 087 ~Will Buys Some L’s~

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If only I stuck to brunettes and not hot redheads, or girls that want me to work certain days and a manager that doesn’t know I will not tolerate, Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest but I’m still the loser here. Will Buys More L’s

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Episode 087 ~Will Buys Some L’s~

Forgive Me Echo,
How to make One Million Dollars or not because let’s be honest, I’m lazy, late, and driven by lust on the best of days and of course, this isn’t one, and I can’t remember the last one, to be honest. I wasn’t lazy at the day job, no, only a loser and yes this is going to be one more depressing conversation, I have noticed my viewership going down which is saying a lot and I want to say I don’t pay people to like me ever…

So should I explain what happened yesterday when DUMB asked me for money, and I reached into my pocket, as luck would have it I didn’t have enough but what is it they say, it’s the thought that counts? I’m continually complaining about money nowadays, and both DUMB and DUMBER are costing me because I don’t know how to deal with those assholes other than to lay back and take it, fuck, and I know Inspector Echo, watch the language.

Love is a bad word or even like which explains why I was such a lame brain today on Messenger but what am I afraid of, other than someone putting a pretty girl in front of me and I get all stupid? Hell if I let nature happen and give up this whole NO FAP nonsense I would be quite lucid most of the day, and I wouldn’t have to sit here in fear of tomorrow, but at least I told one of the managers no about work because I can’t let the anxiety go Inspector Echo, you know that.

Which leads me to why we’re talking now instead of hours ago, and it’s not that I’m lethargic, again I am afraid and you know something, perhaps that’s the silver lining; while I’m nowhere near courageous, I’m alive, I’m moving, and the movie ain’t over yet. However, am I lying to myself thinking that I can change it, I “try” to get healthier and every day it seems I get sick, I say I’m going to work, and then I repeat later on. Every Morning, the alarm lambastes me, and instead of fighting to stay awake or do something productive or constructive, I do nothing; sometimes even worse I go back to sleep, my hypocrisy.

“Fear does something strange to people like Al. But not you. Fear doesn’t shut you down, it wakes you up.” Tobias Eaton A.K.A. Four (Divergent)

Can you forgive me Inspector Echo, for being as low as I’ve been for… hell who knows, and again it’s lying to say things might get better, how about forgiveness for losing “loot” from motivation to rap right, I’m sorry for being lame and of course Will Buys More L’s.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 086 ~Will We Be Rich?~

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Now I’m not saying she’s a golddigger, but the way I dig her and gold as well, though could you get a million dollars cash in a briefcase that would be awesome and yet she carries my heart around. “Will We Be Rich?”

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Episode 086 ~Will We Be Rich?~

Dear Future Wife,
How to make One Million Dollars and I’m sure I told you before, but when I was a child, I thought that two hundred bucks would be enough to solve the 99 Problems I thought I had. While you’re my queen, my love, my goddess, my angel, I’m no King David a.k.a. DMX; I don’t hold much faith in a quarter of a million dollars because honestly we deserve more, our children deserve more, I know it.

I must sound like the typical rapper or worse my father because while I never want to be like him and I’ll deny it should you ever meet him… how long have we been married again, anyway a man takes care of his family without a doubt. Now I will sit here and sing All You Need Is Love, and you make me believe it but God I am becoming my father throwing money at everything and hoping that makes up for how I fail. Caesar was ambitious, and Chris Rock spoke about the difference between Rich and Wealth, and I want to be rich, but with you I’m wealthy… okay, who am I kidding, I want both my love.

I want to tell you every beautiful word in every language, and at the same time your beauty inspires me to write, and if anybody cares to listen, I want my words to set us for life. You know I am one for greed, and I want every breath you take, every beat of your heart, together we’ll make even more, and I never want to fear running out, every day I want to bask not only in This Year’s Love but as many years as we can get. Maybe it’s the idea if I have everything, I get to pick and choose, and I would always want you, not a day in the Hell of an old job, the rage that somehow vanished overnight when my heart became full of nothing but you, how much happiness did you have saved up for us both?

Perhaps it is wrong of me to spend yours. As people say, a man must build Heaven for an angel. Honestly, I was buying my way out of Hell, gathering every dollar I could, dreams to make C.R.E.A.M, from the pages I wrote. I Want To Be Rich, I won’t deny it, but I am wealthy because of you. I am because of my first born, the legacy of our other children and yet I ask Will We Be Rich?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 085 ~Anger Burns Hotter Than Lust~

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Too many sad friends to give into my misery, and trying to start this new week out of bed if I’m lucky but waiting to go to work and then after, my dose of the rage virus it seems, Anger Burns Hotter Than Lust.

Monday, September 24, 2018

Episode 085 ~Anger Burns Hotter Than Lust~

Fifty-First Rule Madam Justice

How to make One Million Dollars, I wish those ideas came as fast as things I’m mad at or how quickly I get hard, though I didn’t wake up with Morning Wood, no I woke up angry that every other part of me had to get up. I read somewhere that couples shouldn’t go to bed angry, and most nights I’m not sure how I feel, though I usually tell myself stories, I go over games in my head, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time maybe Detroit: Become Human.

Back when I had a full-time school schedule, though I remember a pretty girl here, or there it is the rage I embraced the most, and now, hell I can be angry that I don’t have time for gaming, the money for it, that I don’t have a pretty girl like North, Kara, or Chloe. I’m mad that already I feel sick and what did I do wrong, I woke up right when I wanted to, ate breakfast, I’m even talking to you this morning so why should I be in pain. How about the fact that I can’t have hope, no I’m afraid which only means I need more anger to fuel me because when I get to the day job, what happens then?

Wouldn’t indifference be worse, I either want your head on a stick or your head on a… yeah it’s easier to talk about hate as always, people more often than not prefer my misery and they want it with me smiling. Me and my dumbass smile, THIS I CANNOT DO (anymore) I mean, so either I’m a pervert, a psycho, but never a person and strangely enough that makes me mad because do I honestly want to be like any person I know nowadays. Everyone I like is suffering, the man I am, I still hate, which goes perfectly with hating the majority of human beings so yes indeed I enjoy looking at beautiful things.

The Beautiful People, maybe that’s why I want anger because I want to feel something other than anything to be ashamed of right; being mad makes me damn well normal but pictures of bodies one way or another gets you kicked off Pinterest but not today. For now, I’m angry that this day isn’t going as planned but I am in more control dear Madam Justice, surprisingly this rage and Anger Burns Hotter Than Lust.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 084 ~Will Take The Wheel~

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To think I can go anywhere I want, and I would prefer to stay in bed instead of putting these hands to work but I did take a step in the right direction, and maybe I can make another one this week. “Will Take The Wheel.”

Sunday, September 23, 2018

Episode 084 ~Will Take The Wheel~

To Will:
How to make One Million Dollars, coming from someone with a “history” of numbers that’s rich; no pun intended or maybe it is because if it’s not the 1, 2, 3’s it’s A, B, C, and of all the words not to like, DISCOMBOBULATED looks good on you. Well I mean if this is what gets you up in the morning, though you could have gotten up earlier… one of these days will be a positive one, maybe that should be on the list, like a million dollars.

Even now you want to complain about tomorrow and the day after, what about the next, and you’re looking for that silver lining, but it always comes back to the numbers, the two movies you want to see against how much you worked last week for example. The gas in your car, plus the two wheels that need replacing, and the money in your wallet and every excuse that I want to throw at you currently; If I Were A Rich Man. Complaining about cash is a big sign of adulting, especially in America, when your only concern becomes about money and how I wish for you that it overwhelms even your lust; because words are going to make you money I believe and that means more days fighting against “other passions” Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 004 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. “I Will” Review “The Art Of Peace”
Completed
4. I Will Eat Breakfast Every Day
Failed
5. I Will Finish “Church.” By Stylo Fantome
Completed
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”
Failed

Well look at that, I said positive, and already last week I broke 17.5 to a solid 34 F one foot in front of the other, but you have to move faster, not quite as “quickly” as you Fapping nowadays ha, but again you need the car. Hell, the words should be even harder considering the tragedies besetting you from all sides, but you will no longer apologize for things that you aren’t responsible for to anybody and no that doesn’t go on the list. This week you might even get three things done, even if the book; yeah more negativity, no state the facts the erotica book club wanted to read another m/m and a long one at that, did I say that… words; but these Six Impossible Things.
1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Review “Ven” (V Games) Ker Dukey and K. Webster
4. I Will Review “Life Itself”
5. I Will Finish “Under His Heel.” By Adara Wolf
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”

Again other things should make this list but the point is to maintain control of yourself but you must also know when to let loose like I didn’t, I want people in the ground and yet I remained silent because the lady at work lost her husband. Respect right, but who respects you, such a concept comes from those that find themselves in; no, those who seize control and that is what you must do so Will Take The Wheel.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 081 ~Ring A Ding Will~

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A woman can help a man find his bravery but don’t mistake stupidity for courage and my how I feel stupid at the moment even with a clear head, but strangely I’m the richer for it even when I picked up the phone and dialed. Ring A Ding Will.

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Episode 081 ~Ring A Ding Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How to make One Million Dollars, well first off let me say how happy I am that porn is free or maybe not considering time is valuable and how much have I wasted this week… I should enjoy the clarity while it last. How I’m going to miss that killer instinct though, maybe I shouldn’t say that considering the world we live in, save that for Isaku, Church by Stylo Fantome, and a Playboy subscription, okay so I’m a hypocrite sadly.

I would choose to be a hypocrite than a failure as Mr. Trump can attest to but despite it all, he managed to score Stormy Daniels and please don’t ask me where my hot blonde is but I know I’m serious when I find the courage to pick up the phone and start dialing. Dirty Diana, I tell you that I am dead serious when I’m in my kitchen and a woman texts, and we’re talking about food, and she says burgers are good, but I’ll give you a blow job for your shrimp pasta, and then both are sitting on the table. You know I’m not giving up when I have a closet full of outfits that I sure as Hell ain’t wearing because someday soon I’m going to have some submissive with voluptuous tits, or amazing legs… it was her legs that made me break today honestly.

As you can see I’m “trying” to be all sorts of positive because I broke today but better to do that than to do what I was planning but who knows what will happen when I go shopping today, one of the reasons to like Halloween, wigs, collars, slutty outfits. What, people are already gearing up for Christmas, and I could go all into Dear Future Wife mode, but right now it’s not my heart that concerns me, something else has to get back up along with the rest of me. You know Tony Montana has it right, and I’m still getting it backward, however Dirty Diana when I make my New Year’s Resolutions, one is always, to either have a new woman in my bed for the month or a steady supply of sex.

That’s why I’m up now… on my feet getting back in the ring because come tomorrow, hell some hours from now I’ll be a mess, that is unless I honestly am the man Dirty Diana, somebody knows that I’m the man *sigh* Ring A Ding Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 080 ~Judas Owes Will Silver~

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Am I not worthy of the gold, I am but there is so much work, I should probably get into my motivational listening again and fill like a winner or worse the one who is cheating myself out of everything? Judas Owes Will Silver.

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Episode 080 ~Judas Owes Will Silver~

Forgive Me Echo,
How to make One Million Dollars out of silver and I did attempt to look that up, and then I got somewhat depressed, but you would figure this is something I should know considering I’m always second place. Not a current sin Inspector Echo, back when I was in middle school, I had this “friend” a football jock, son of a preacher man, black kid, and we would always play Mario Kart… he would win consistently or would I let him win?

“Okay,” asked me once do I fear success and when it comes to my writing or getting her into bed the answer is no, I’m lazy pretty much, considering we’re talking now and not two and a half hours ago. I was playing The Walking Dead No Man’s Land, and it’s all about getting more stars than the other guy, I wish I had such a killer instinct a long time ago because I’m grinding wanting to win. My biggest sin though today and perhaps this whole week, hell a few months is why am I not “trying” harder, how I hate that word, and I’m not going to go all Star Wars right now.

You see the person I am guilty of betraying here is myself; I won’t go all religious either since I never swore allegiance to any god… okay, once but I worked in a Christian bookstore and went through a good book phase. I mostly settle for second circle sins (guess I am going a bit religious) LUST for those paying attention and I end up committing ninth circle atrocities, that’s TREACHERY, can you tell I lived in an AME household? Now I could talk about SLOTH which is one of the seven deadly sins but honestly, there was a sin with silver that frankly shows the beast I am, most of my best work this week is slain by it.

Should I be more specific… I could but I won’t which again shows my shame so if I’m adding them all up, the willingness to remain second because of friends, laziness, and indeed lust as well, at least Judas got paid to betray the son of God. May you forgive me my Inspector Echo, for being weighed down my thirty pieces of silver, well one hundred and ten if you count the downloads Monday, and still I want more but you only get that by striving to be no.1, but *sigh* Judas Owes Will Silver.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 079 ~Will To Be Selfish~

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Possession, love can make us do some incredible things, right or horrible, “Stuff And Thangs” as Rick Grimes would put it and indeed it brings us back to life in some ways at least *cough* Life Itself. Will To Be Selfish

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Episode 079 ~Will To Be Selfish~

Dear Future Wife,
How to make One Million Dollars though I’m not sure that my organs are worth that much… don’t turn all squeamish on me now, though if you ever mention Pig Feet or Chitterlings I’ll want a divorce, same if you ever say Roll Tide or War Eagle. Not that Alabama is forever, and as long as we’re together it doesn’t even matter honestly, though I’m looking at Nevada, California, and for some reason New York but you know I hate being cold, another reason I want you all to myself, my love.

“I love you… but I may not be equipped to be loved this much.” Life Itself (2018) Abby, Olivia Wilde

Professional Wrestling is an acceptable sport, right behind the Olympics and Martial Arts competitions “The Karate Kid,” “Cobra Kai,” “Best of The Best” and don’t get me started on my fixation with Kung-Fu, but I’m in a “Life Itself” state of mine FUCK… what they said it a bunch. Anyway so back to wrestling or more like reality TV “Total Bellas” when Nikki’s family was always telling John Cena to compromise, but they didn’t know what that meant, it doesn’t mean surrender, nor submission, or sacrifice. Which brings my point because I believe love is a sacrifice, but when two people love each other, when they give everything of themselves leaving nothing it should feel like you have everything you’ll ever need and even more.

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” The Princess Bride (1987)

I think I’ve told you this before and I know that I can be a bit much to handle that’s why I admire your strength so much, Beauty & the Beast, do you know how incredible she had to be, to fight so hard, and loved even harder, the way that I love you. It can be scary; I keep thinking about when we first met, what did I have to give, and Suddenly I have smiles to give away, and what did I say about cold and now my arms are around you, and is that my hoody? Strange the times I want to cover you up, and then I want to show you off, but you’re all mine… beast, yeah I’m like your shadow, a ghost that haunts you, a zombie and dare I say you’re the prettiest necromancer I have ever seen.

“I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid of anything.”

“I’m only alive when you’re inside me.” Angel “Waiting In The Wings”

Only one fucking demon, is it Halloween yet; yeah, I’m going to have some old white lady screaming at me like that poor studio guy at the screening last night, but as I heard once, it’s a disease this thing called love, a confession, a belief. It transcends everything baby girl, even my words and my phone *gasps*, and I do want to be hoarded, kept away, lost to everything, and so I ask this important question, do you have, the Will To Be Selfish.

I Will Have No Fear