Tag: Honesty

Lesson 290 ~My Title Changed Hands~

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What’s in a name Juliet once asked, well first you have to decide on one and terms of endearment run quite rampant and ooh baby, baby, while a classic can get a little old though I tend to put a spin on it. My Title Changed Hands.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Lesson 290 ~My Title Changed Hands~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today, what’s wrong… how long have we been together and I still feel like a new man, like James Bond with my Bond girl, the Pumpkin with his Honey Bunny, and at least half a dozen YA Novels that we could be. Nobody that comes into this world chooses their name, which is why all our friends are probably going to be the same as us, naming their kids after their fandoms maybe.

Then there’s you, my wife, my Mrs., my best friend and to think there was a time I was too afraid to ask your name, I’m no good with names, really I didn’t know my grandmother’s name was Marie forever. It still freaks me out some to hear the cries of “Daddy, Daddy” all over the house and I doubt the dog thinks of me as “Dearest Human, Dad” well of course he does, my first kid and all. Now here I am again a new man and when I wake up in the morning, what is it, “Good Morning” sweetheart, honey, love, babe, if it comes from your lips I know I can be whoever I need to be.

Call me a traditionalist or just one for the classics, seeing how my last name fits next to yours or hell we could make a name all our own because I’m sure my family’s first words will be who’s that girl, shortened to that girl, or girl. To me, you’ll be “Baby Girl,” babydoll, angel, my queen, for a guy that has owned several thesauruses, beautiful is going to be my go-to for quite awhile. You think I’m one for music, oh there are so many movies if I happen to say “Ditto” or “I Know” after you tell me you love me and you get the reference… well, love grows all the more right?

Will there ever be a time I don’t love your name, depends on who I’m mad at maybe but what’s in a name, I’m just Will, and you’ll be who you are and have always been to me, and that’s the woman I love. I think one day I’ll even learn to love my name as much as I love yours, “This is my wife…” and I’ll be that guy with the gorgeous wife no one can ever forget ever.

My parents and the world have had their fun; I want to be someone else, I want to be yours, so My Title Changed Hands.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 289 ~Going To Hell, Them First~

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I’ve never pictured myself making it to Heaven and anybody that ticks me off certainly ain’t that righteous because if you get your rocks off torturing someone like me… anyway another story. Going To Hell, Them First as it should be ha

Monday, April 16, 2018

Lesson 289 ~Going To Hell, Them First~

Twenty-Eighth Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today, it’s this hate, you know me Madam Justice, I don’t want to hurt anybody when I walk out the door, noted I’m always ready for a war with a few choice individuals but live and let live. So I go to the movies last night, just trying to order some snacks and these four women start pointing and laughing at me like I’m some big joke, nobody else just them.

That’s the problem, like with any disease you don’t want to do damage to what’s right and healthy but the virus, the bad only wishes to infect every single part of what is the best of us. I’m not Cancer Madam Justice, I know what you’re thinking, even though if I were one for reincarnation I would like to be a virus, a zombie sickness if I may be ever so specific. If anything I’m wounded and all I want to do is heal, but people like my boss, like those stupid women, that janitor, that bitch poke me, they won’t stop, they want to know. If you keep poking at a wound what happens, as Morgan would put it, “you know what it is” you know I’m sure right?

Still, I don’t die though everyone does, only you outlive your enemies, not friends… that is honestly going in my rules, but the thing is for a guy like me, hate cannot know such distance, not if I am going to be a part of this world. I hate my father and how many years has it been, I hate that girl, and it’s day two-hundred and eighty freaking nine and who knows if she’s given me a second thought. Again I don’t want to hurt anybody, so I suffer, and they live, but one of the reasons I continued to live and write is because one day I have faith I won’t be the only one here; I shouldn’t be the first at all.

If you told me I could let go of my hate and go to Heaven I could and in less than twenty-four hours it would find me again because that’s what people do, we hate, we instill hate. Another one of my rules states “Hate Will Keep You Alive,” and I don’t want to die. So I don’t suppose that I will see Hell for a long time, I’ve learned Going To Hell, Them First.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 288 ~Getting Our Hands Dirty~

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With these two hands I will make me a world, but God took seven days, I think a month will do for me and how many authors did “The Bible” have again, though tonight I’m going to watch other people make a mess. Getting Your Hands Dirty.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Lesson 288 ~Getting Our Hands Dirty~

To Will:
I Am Not Fine Today, and neither is the dog on account of the rain, missing his outside time amongst other things, but the perfect excuse to stay inside and get your hands dirty don’t you think? You’ve been doing so for days, and certain aspects of your life have been suffering for it, but you’re halfway there; when did everything become about your novel but how about these six impossible things here:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 029 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 036 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Failed (*Starship Troopers Voice* Bugs)
3. I Will Announce My Book Camp NaNoWriMo
Partial Completion (No Title or Back Cover)
4. I Will Complete 50% of “VLAD.”
Failed
5. I Will Write A Review
Failed
6. I Will “Get Out” Of This House Other Than Shopping Or Movies
Failed

To think once upon a time, you didn’t have to be told to go outside and play, when the girl next door was enough, and you were running away from kisses, or when you would write your poetry with your feet in the lake, ah the embrace of nature. Getting your hands dirty nowadays means what germy mess is on your phone and shall we dive into your files and see all your secrets; there’s no need since you are writing them out every single day in your novel. At least you’re not hugging the toilet throwing up the real trash you are making your body with so much unneeded medication, but what are the six impossible tasks this week:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 36 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Find Out What My Book Is About
4. I Will Complete 50% of VLAD
5. I Will Post A Review
6. I Will Write My Book

It takes blood, sweat, and tears, so maybe your hands aren’t meant to be clean because now is not the time for crying, as tired as you may be, as frustrated, what about anger, I swear the rage continues. People say there is supposed to be some amount of clarity or a burst of energy you know when you stop “Fapping” but when will that kick in or maybe it explains everything that’s going on in your story. I don’t have any words of encouragement, the last thing you need is anything of comfort, might make you fall asleep on the spot, if anything the madness and the hunger endures but today is going to be a good day, Survival Sunday at the movies right?

You’ve never been one for the glass is half full or half empty, no there’s only the glass and the drink, and it’s time to take your medicine, or maybe just figure out what the hell you’re drinking nowadays. In the end isn’t that what matters, but okay we know your heart, your soul, and mind are just one big insane asylum but you’re trying to fix that aren’t you and what about doctors, clean hands but making money you know Getting Your Hands Dirty.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 284 ~Do I Love Guns~

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Honestly, I have talked more about having a family than ever owning a gun, but with how things are going these days… well, it seems I have the attention of the gun lovers, but preferring women, yeah I’m the bad guy. Do I Love Guns

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Lesson 284 ~Do I Love Guns~

“A good question – for another time.” ― Maz Kanata

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Fine Today, and not only because I’m taking so long to talk to you or that I won’t speak about my unfortunate lack of a prom; just a novel and the Second Amendment got in the way. Making money and guns, what an excellent conservative I would make though according to Facebook I am moderate, which makes sense, still damn I was hoping to be a liberal but that might only be in some rock HARD areas if you know what I mean Inspector.

So what brought this on, I received a letter from the NRA wanting me to join up, as the Christians would say, not today Satan but funny how most of them are card-carrying members of the NRA, for a moment I was thinking identity theft when I opened the letter. Suppose Mark Zuckerberg owes me an apology, but then again I am an open book when it comes to everything except whatever title I’m currently writing which brings me to an excuse. It stinks, my novel, is complete utter garbage and before “Indiana Gone,” “Cherry,” or “Okay” tries to say something, let’s get it all out on the table, I hate my writing, so there.

Strangely enough, I don’t hate the right to bear arms, don’t get me wrong Inspector Echo, there need to be some strict ass gun laws. I know plenty of people that shouldn’t have them; could throw myself into the mix but I want an assault rifle at some point, a pistol. Damn let me hold the button for a minute and you know I’m not a violent person; who have I hurt, we live in the real world, and with the way things are going, I might need some protection I should think. Another reason people shouldn’t read my book, if you compare my fiction to me, hell I shouldn’t be permitted to hold a gun, let alone a pen or a keyboard but lucky for me the NRA I think are total gun nuts.

While I despise most people, the NRA that protects guns more than children for example, what does this say about me, if you checked out my NEW Pinterest boards there aren’t many guns, but pillows, puppies, whatever we’re naming them this week are plenty? I guess that makes me a bad guy but a bunch of weapons I can keep in the closet… I am sorry that makes me such and such a person so to answer… yes I do love guns, but sorry I won’t be joining the NRA, but since my writing stinks, who knows if they’ll see this, still sorry not sorry.

For the #MeToo movement um, something, something, sorry I don’t respect women as much as you think I should, though I think I’m a sweetheart mostly but in the end how Do I Love Guns.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 283 ~Ok, I’m Up Now~

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Which is more exhausting, writing a love story or trying to live one and doing both, I’m going to start having to write a bunch of reasons just to get out of bed, to be honest. “Ok, I’m Up Now” the question is what to do

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Lesson 283 ~Ok, I’m Up Now~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today, not that it matters to my dog and any fur babies you bring along and a man needs all the love he can get these days, the best part of waking up I believe. You know I’m not a big coffee drinker, so I will take eight hours when I can get them; though being a husband and a father might mean having to make do with much less, again just how the world works right now.

The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach rings right, and I do like bacon, just ask my parents, then again don’t that’s just something that tires me out but the food is good, bacon, pancakes, hash browns. Since my eyes will already lie shut, maybe a kiss or two would perk me up, a reason to look up as I’m usually asleep on my belly if I know I don’t have anything to do in the morning but just my luck… As the song goes love lift us up where we belong, have you been playing with my playlist; nothing gets me in the workday spirit as much as Easy Street.

What about when the work day’s through, maybe that’s why I spend so much time writing now so my other books will be few and far between; with all due respect to Skye Warren, I just can’t produce novels that fast. You might have to wake me up to write though, and that will be far easier when I get to quit the day job at some point, talk about motivation to get up. Love, you are plenty but how am I supposed to get anything done, if I was a sculptor, well then again I’ll find some other way to love you, my angel.

Though there is something to be kept about the classics; the two-legged children or six if we count all three of them, speaking of things to produce fast, because if I can tell when my dog is crying at two in the morning… If I know I can see your smile; that I can feel how you “Love Me Like You Do,” and everything that might require more than words. Who would need an alarm clock to wake-up any day?

As for this moment, I only want to cuddle with you and watch wrestling though it gets a bit boring at; Ok, I’m Up Now.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 282 ~Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage~

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What is a second of courage, an idea, a step, eye contact, a few more seconds, one foot in front of the other, and still there are more and am I facing oblivion yet, five minutes, an hour, what is twenty seconds that? Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage

Monday, April 9, 2018

Lesson 282 ~Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage~

Twenty-Seventh Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today, how can I be; I’ve always had this sneaking suspicion that the world will come to an end any second, so I’m forever trying to survive until the next five minutes. If I make it give five more, anyone who knows me can say I am a stickler for time unless I feel that whatever it is no longer matters, e.g., my day job, once upon a time I would show up fifteen minutes early.

Sometimes Madam Justice I can easily blame my OCD, but for the most part, it’s fear because when it comes to something like “women” as the song goes “Can We Talk.” Hell, I’m not asking for fifteen, five, hell I’m not asking for even a minute, all I need is twenty seconds, that’s the hard part. What can a man do in twenty seconds, I know women who would have some interesting answers, but men can destroy the world, or you can save a life, you can give love “If Only For One Night” and some might even offer forever.

Honestly Madam Justice I have yet to decide what type of man I will be even at my age, but unfortunately, I have yet to be a brave one, though people have seen different sides of me. Here’s the thing though, let’s reread the rule, I am focusing on “courage” when I should relish on “insane,” and that is something that most will not deny about me, this is something I utterly believe above all else. So if I can get the time right and feel what others think to be insane, as in I have great courage, what is stopping me, there is nothing.

I mean come on just today I have wasted over three hours of my life on something I believe has no value according to me… I am starting to sound like “Cherry” no matter how many times you tell her something she won’t understand. Maybe that’s the trick, thinking I’m insane when it might be the rest of the world, and I’m normal, sort of like that story that the girl told in Veronika Decides to Die: A Novel of Redemption, see how crazy I am becoming these days Justice.

I could be crazy enough to tell you why I didn’t go to prom, well more a story for Inspector Echo am I right? Anyway sometimes I think I see the bigger picture, and other times I only want to live the next few minutes well, sort of like “The 13th Warrior” but most of all I want to be the man I know I can be if I show Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 281 ~Flat Of Your Back~

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I went to work today but not the day job, but some real work that I’m missing “WrestleMania” for so the question becomes am I having fun yet, can I go and lie down now that the hard part is over. “Flat Of Your Back,” not again I don’t think

Sunday, April 08, 2018

Lesson 281 ~Flat Of Your Back~

“Next time, you will look up at me from the flat of your back.” ― from A Knight’s Tale (2001)

To Will:
I Am Not Fine Today and in case you haven’t learned this by now “let me sleep on it” as the song goes isn’t truly helping anyone, well not you at least and maybe your bed is telling you something. Just another reason you can’t spend all day on your back, remember that brief bit of time when you wanted to build that dungeon of yours, “The Black Room” hell your bedroom has become one posh prison cell.

Now as they say, to everything there is a season; if you recall the reason you started sleeping on your back was just an acknowledgment of the work day tomorrow, ready to be “up and at ’em” but you’re no hero, wage slave. Speaking of old sayings how about “I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” you’re trying to be free of the mask, but you’re still pretending, still hoping that you won’t have to wake up tomorrow, the bed has taken a tomb’s form. Wouldn’t that explain a lot, like sleeping on bricks or stones which means your back should know what it’s like being against the wall? How about it’s difficult to use a laptop on your back though it keeps the “Fapping” to a minimum and how about those six impossible things you have:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 022 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 029 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Completed
3. I Will Not “Beg,” ”Cherry or Okay”
Partial Completion, Flirting (Cherry’s Lifestyle and Okay’s Tight Behind)
4. I Will Complete 50% of “VLAD.”
Failed 30%
5. I Will Start My New Book Today
Completed
6. I Will “Get Out” Of This House Other Than Shopping
Partial Completion (“The Miracle Season” and “A Quiet Place”) two movie visits

You want to be on your back, and I can’t blame you, the world is a hard place, but you can make it less of one if you get off your back now and do the work. If lust is the key to everything then your bed, no your beds because you’re going to have The Black Room one day have to be comfortable and bouncy, don’t forget bouncy. You do enjoy when girls know how to ride if you’re interpreting “Pony” right, but that’s just one more reason to be on the flat of your back but what girls have been around here lately? What about being on the beach someday just resting, didn’t you get eight hours last night in bed, another excuse to want more sleep but you can’t write your six impossible things from the flat of your back you know?

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 029 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Announce My Book Camp NaNoWriMo
4. I Will Complete 50% of “VLAD.”
5. I Will Write A Review
6. I Will “Get Out” Of This House Other Than Shopping Or Movies

If you want to lie down you should at least make it comfortable right and have some company that isn’t shedding 24/7, the dog’s hair does not know what to do in this weather but if it’s going to be cold, you should work. Will if it’s hot you should be sweating on your keyboard, not lying in bed on the Flat Of Your Back.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 277 ~Excuse Me, Miss Pinterest~

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It was a miracle that I didn’t go off, how about the fact that I didn’t get into more trouble, that I don’t have more problems, though I’m far from no worries, which included getting into the movies. Excuse Me, Miss Pinterest

Wednesday, April 04, 2018

Lesson 277 ~Excuse Me, Miss Pinterest~

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Fine Today but the day is nearly over. I tell you when you wake up in the morning; you can be at peace with the fairer sex and in five minutes before my shift ends you want to stomp #MeToo, wonder about The Screwfly Solution” and all you take from the “The Miracle Season” is volleyball players have cute butts. One sin Inspector Echo, all it takes is one, and then you know why there is a Highway to Hell, one big freaking wreck.

Now I am not a gentleman though I may “try” but you want to know what I want Inspector Echo, I want to go to bed and in a quest for that, five minutes, some “woman” the store custodian is busy having her social hour. I’ll admit I could have been nicer, but you spend your entire shift unloading a truck and putting out merchandise. So I simply tell her to watch out as I step over her bag of trash and pass a make-up “girl” who was taking pictures during her shift. “the word is “excuse me,” she says behind my back… she’s lucky the words weren’t “move bitch, get out the way” honestly.

I also wanted to talk about the termination of my Pinterest account; because undoubtedly some woman was behind that and I suppose I’ll be fending off emails for the next few days wondering what the hell happened, they won’t tell me. How quickly the day changes, from one humiliation and anger to the next, plus it’s late so that is another thing I will have to know forgiveness for, a lack of eloquence. How about rage, I was ready to march right back in there and have a face-off with the janitor, why not try that with my boss hmm?

I swear Inspector by the end of the day I engaged in all seven deadly sins and most before lunch, but it all began with one bitch who would instead party than doing her damn job and the thing is what didn’t matter to her after five seconds will stick with me for five months. You still remember why I have been writing for two hundred and seventy-seven days right, I swear I feel like Adam thinking oh Eve you have done it now dear.

Forgive me for not listing out every sin, for my exhaustion, for my rage and madness, but there is a reason Hell is an eternity thinking Excuse Me, Miss Pinterest.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 276 ~Put Your Feet Up~

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I should probably be searching the world while I’m by myself to find my future but aren’t I too busy building Heaven… maybe the dog likes to eat, but I will “try” to find dog-friendly hotels while I’m planning a vacation. “Put Your Feet Up”

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Lesson 276 ~Put Your Feet Up~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today, and I can tell you aren’t either; after I catch the dream girl and our kids. It seems we are always playing catch-up and with that, the truth is, we could use a vacation. I’d preferably not do a whole lot of walking, sandals, and flip-flops aren’t my thing but only long enough to stick our toes in the sand is enough.

I want to walk hand in hand with you on those trails I once took by these lakes in the old neighborhood I used to roam, I mean I would sit by those lakes and write… nothing against fishing but it would just be me and my notebook. What about something usual like Disney World. A whole lot of walking, standing, and more chasing, shall I become a prince against and seek out my princess, or maybe I’ll smile as my daughter rejects the Jedi and joins the Sith, we could even travel the world in a day, World Showcase.

We could travel the world honestly; it’s funny that I was thinking about not taking one step out… still a possibility but there is so much to see, so much to do, a whole new world. My parents were traditionalists, so I only know Disney in Florida and Universal Studios really and speaking of which, things to do without the kids… The Purge Horror Nights would be right up my alley. To me, that would be somewhat equal to taking you through Michael Jackson’s Thriller, or we could do Saw; maybe a real zombie horror show; looking for a reason.

Why not pull out all the stops how about Japan or China, there are so many places I want to visit, Pairs is the city of Love and Amsterdam… what I don’t drink a lot and cigarettes kill, but it’s been a long time since I’ve been high. Yes, you’re my angel, my princess in a tower but the whole idea is not to work for it. Only, for now, I suppose that is what we’re doing; America, America as the song goes, but we will take pictures with our phones and cut off my incredible Purge playlist just saying.

Yeah, we’ll put our feet up on the couch and play some Fortnite Battle Royale or PUGB and order a pizza because, Every Day Will Be Like A Holiday when my baby comes home because you been running through my mind all day so go ahead, Put Your Feet Up.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 275 ~People Lie, Don’t Stand There~

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I talked about taking ten steps last week, and now I don’t know whether to stand or run, but at the end of the day I can’t lie down, but isn’t that what I did at work today *sigh* then again I might need that breath. People Lie, Don’t Stand There now

Monday, April 02, 2018

Lesson 275 ~People Lie, Don’t Stand There~

Twenty-Sixth Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today, but I am not dead yet which is one of the meanings of this rule; this is but another way to say that I will not join the dead. I will not wait my turn; I will not mourn my life away or even dance on their graves as much as I may want to. The second concept of this rule is a lesson I learned again today, people will lie about you, people will want you to stand for this, but if you hold to their lies what else can you do but fall?

“ let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That’s the only way to become what you are meant to be.” Kylo Ren

Given my many chances with death or maybe just this moment, I don’t want to die, the plethora of zombie entertainment shows an overwhelming majority when faced with the dead, stand and fight, or they run, but all choose to live. I have never been one to mourn the dead, my grandmother, aunts, more family, and maybe you could call me heartless, but I do not wallow in tears or even blood, because I can’t swim, there’s a rule in there somewhere, right? Once those that hurt me are gone why do they deserve another drop of sweat, I got my quart of blood, in the end, I need only move on, always keep moving.

“Compromise where you can. Where you can’t, don’t. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say, ‘No, *you* move’.” Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Now call me a hypocrite but in the same token when somebody lies on me, sweeps something under the rug, I move and I find another place to stand; take my general manager today, what did he make me out to be today, a coward. A man would have moved, a man would have gotten in his face and asked him, who the fuck does he think he’s talking to, does this man think he can call me out like this, an on a racial note a black man tearing another black man down. Allow me to break a bit of a personal record since I haven’t mentioned that bitch in a while but my name is Will, capital WILL and I’m not skeevy, creepy, or some would-be obsessive. She’s not worth the time; I’m just a stupid guy that liked a more idiotic girl.

Some falsehoods should be lying in the dirt, that doesn’t mean you have to dig each one up and the ones that you do, you expose, no more skeletons will find a home in my closet. No more masks either, as I ponder which one to wear today because I know the truth don’t I, People Lie, Don’t Stand There.
“Truth is singular. Its “versions” are mistruths.” Cloud Atlas (2012)

I Will Have No Fear