Tag: Man

Log 313 ~Will The New World~

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Well, last week I asked what I do for money, and now sometime soon it will be back to the Day Job, I suppose. Indeed I finished one book and was working on a long-overdue poetry compilation. Will The New World?

Saturday, May 9, 2020

Log 313 ~Will The New World~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should be all into the. Brand New, as the song goes. Lady Lu, as per usual, I speak to you two days from the past. Time travel can be quite finicky, so if I told you I would find myself here? I’m a man having a panic attack, exhausted, well hell, isn’t that every day? Today though, I have received my marching orders to return to the world. Only the place I knew wasn’t so great. The land that awaits me, I’m not looking forward to. For now, I can’t see the aftermath, but there are other worlds.

“Only a man unable to handle the actual world would create another one in which to hide.”
― Andrew Davidson

I’m not suicidal, but at this moment, I want to return to the blackness of sleep. It’s no secret that I’m lazy above everything Lady Luna. Look, you’re my first girl, my favorite… my light in the dark, closest to where I want to be. In the night, not having to face the new day. Only when I find myself thrown into the world, I build new ones. One more reason that I’m a writer. I need somewhere to go, but then it’s like something out of The Handmaid’s Tale. My worlds are never “Better” for everyone, especially women, but I’m not in the mood today. I don’t wish to be one of these STUPID people comparing having a Day Job to some worse part of history. Still, I feel like I am doomed to repeat it as soon as I leave this “warm” bed.

“Better never means better for everyone… It always means worse, for some.”
― Margaret Atwood

I say it like that because I’m not sure if it’s the weather or my blood running cold. Fear freezes me, and there’s another F-Word that heats me right up. I’m not angry, though, and the other feeling I’m avoiding like the plague all around us. Coronavirus (COVID-19) hasn’t given me the world I imagined, as if I could handle it. Again I’m sitting here in bed trying not to think how good I had it and all the work I could have gotten done. Now I sound like Trump wasting my time. I don’t believe I will have the luxury of losing myself to the music or some audiobook. If I call upon the future, it will always be for My Dæmon’s continued health and the world I wish to build for him.

Today though (Thursday), is this normal or Will The New World…

I Will Have No Fear

Log 312 ~Play The Hero Will~

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As the song goes, “Here I go, playing the star again, There I go, turn the page.” I wanted to talk about Star Wars and my mind when to The Hero’s Journey, and then I remembered I don’t write heroes. “Play The Hero Will.”

Friday, May 8, 2020

Log 312 ~Play The Hero Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how many of us do they call heroes? Often enough, I’ve written that I am no hero, I am but a villain. Not a Smooth Criminal, a Smooth Operator though I try. I was a second away from quoting Yoda, one more figure in The Hero’s Journey. SIGH Star Wars.

Like yesterday I said I wanted to make this Star Wars week, but what have I been reading? The Call to Adventure or Cade, Anna, and Cherry all leave England. Refusal of the Call, Cade refusing help, Anna and Cherry refusing to change, the Father in denial? Meeting the Mentor, Cade, Anna, and Cherry talking to the Father and him meeting the Boy. Crossing the First Threshold, Anna with the Father, Cherry’s next kill, Cade’s fear. Belly of the Whale, Anna and the Father in her home, Cherry’s body, Cade and Caitlin. The Road of Trials, Cherry spying, the Father’s investigation, Cade’s madness, Anna’s denial. Of course, Lady Sophia, this is a reach at best, and you can thank Girlfriend Reviews for today’s ideas. If anything, I want to understand my story better, I figure.

Continuing forward, The Meeting with the Goddess. It’s when the Father gains information about the murders. It’s also when Anna and Cade finally get together and don’t realize they will be together forever. The Woman As Temptress when Anna offers herself again to the Father when he has Cherry and Cade also has Cherry. Wanting to spare Anna and Cherry and the tapes used to secure their freedom if need be. Oh, Genevieve, and Hanna.

Atonement with the Father/Abyss, the Father/Old Man, faces down against the Boy. The murderess Cherry is discovered. Cade and Anna are also in attendance. Apotheosis, the Father comes up with the idea to save Cherry and Anna, while Cade is shot but lives. The Ultimate Boon, the deal is done. Cade will marry Anna, and both mother and daughter will work off the debt, the Father becomes a killer. Refusal of the Return, Cherry refuses the last poison order. Cade gets in trouble, the Father takes his first victim, Anna is made a “housewife.” The Magic Flight, Cherry is entirely a woman along with her mother, Cade is made “cuckold” the Father is in control. Rescue from Without, Brooklynn, and Gretchen are taken. The main characters prepare for the wedding.

The Crossing of the Return Threshold, Cherry, and Anna are terribly alike. Cade gets to indulge in both. The Father makes money. Master of Two Worlds, the Father is in charge of both the sanctuary and the cathouse. He doesn’t yet see Cade breaking down and what will be Anna’s reprisal. Freedom to Live, with the deaths, the Father is now free to leave behind one or both worlds. If he so chooses to. Lady Sophia, I have gone overboard in a way, and again none of my survivors are ever meant to be heroes.
Father… Play The Hero Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 310 ~Willy Time, Slow Time~

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Wasn’t I here last week, lost to the porn, worried about my pup, trying to find anything else to worry about besides the proponents of the puppet in the White House. The things one finds to do. Willy Time, Slow Time

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Log 310 ~Willy Time, Slow Time~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and if I were white with a rich Daddy, this would have happened overnight. Making that kind of money takes time, and I have that. Yet again, though, I ask myself, what have I been doing with mine, time being money?

Well, of course, sex Inspector Echo, what else is there? Having finished, The Eve of a Cherry, I find myself lost on what to do next. I shot down somebody looking for a Beta reader but can’t find any for myself ever. When somebody calls your work, “interesting?” Hell time flies reading but goes ever so slow when you’re EDITING. The only thing slower is me finding some girl to… yeah, I know not a compliment. Still, I’ve told adult entertainers no and when I finally broke. It wasn’t with, Call me a Legend, but how many ticks and tocks have I wasted playing that game these past few days? I remember playing, Heavy Rain, a certain way because I wanted to see Madison Paige strip. I won’t speak evil of Call me a Legend though, I don’t have time to tear myself down today.

Seeing as how this conversation is two days ahead, you know today is. Star Wars Day, which means I have plenty of movies to watch. One more day I’m taking off and SIGH, I have to watch the video from my Day Job. Fear takes more out of me than anything. So what has scared me today? Not much other than walking My Dæmon and hearing the sounds of construction. I remember when I was a child running through the woods so fast, and the house seemed so far. Even at thirty-five, I can go back to that moment. The wonders of time Inspector Echo.

Not anymore, though, like most days, I have fallen into a routine. I wake up late, have these conversations, post the one from two days ago. I usually fall into a nap and wake up late again to work on my book. I “want” to read, and somehow end up playing The Walking Dead or Call me a Legend. Dinner, and then there are the nights where I stay up until one or two doing well “stuff and thangs.” The worse thing about time… my kid winding down, the stairs are his test these days.

Sadness, Willy Time, Slow Time.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 309 ~Better Shape Up Will~

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Wasn’t it last week I was saying that I missed the music though. Suddenly, well, I don’t know. Maybe I felt the need to get up and dance when I was not playing video games, and did I mention I’m never taking @musclemilk again. “Better Shape Up Will.”

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Log 309 ~Better Shape Up Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so that means I can afford a personal trainer. Now yes, I do everything in excess. So I want a Martial Arts Master, a Marksmen, even a snack Maitre d’, my personal DoorDash. You know I don’t have body issues with myself, though I wouldn’t mind being Magic Mike or Creed. More to the point as the song goes, I only wanna be with you. What, I’ve been sharing my playlists with you forever? Though I will apologize for my latest pastime while in our bed, we’ll get to that today.

The “Circle Circle Dot Dot” from the screen because I haven’t gone and finished Far Cry 5 or Heavy Rain. Hell baby doll, you could say playing The Walking Dead or Plague Inc in bed is my longing to be Close To You. My, My, My, there are better things to do in bed. Still, I miss the Triforce, a bit of a love triangle or triangles considering Final Fantasy VII. I know the Triforce is The Legend of Zelda. If you ever doubt yourself, My Love, I have chosen you over a princess. Please don’t get me started on other characters or my work. As they say, it’s Hip To Be Square or rather a rectangle. If I had my way, nine times out of ten, I want to be in bed reading beside you, amongst other things. I appreciate you letting me give myself to novels I write. Again, we turn to my phone and another game craze sigh Call me a Legend.

In case I don’t tell you enough baby doll, you are my world. Okay, that sounds bad, doesn’t it, but you know what I mean. I want to build my life around you. See, I didn’t immediately go for the song, but you know me well enough that there was one. A friend told me once that I have music for every situation, that I can mold into anything. Sort of like my furry little kid who takes whatever shape he chooses lying in bed. It’s like how I watch you curl around our other children. Like Jeanie in The Handmaid’s Tale singing, I Only Want To Be With You. Speaking of which I Melt With You, right here watching everything on TV My Love.

Still, if I want you forever, Better Shape Up Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 308 ~Preparation H, Hungry, Horny, Humiliation~

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Happy Birthday Indiana Gone and Happy Star Wars Day, May The Force Be With You. Only rules are rules. Today I’m talking about #135. I’m always preparing to write, to finish a game, to deal with people. “Preparation H, Hungry, Horny, Humiliation”

Monday, May 4, 2020

Log 308 ~Preparation H, Hungry, Horny, Humiliation~

Hundred And Thirty-Fifth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and besides that, I’m always one for alliteration. Now let me start today by saying Happy Birthday to one of my dearest friends Indiana Gone. She won’t like me saying this but ahem guess what day it is; STAR WARS DAY. Funny and sad that this is a “holiday,” I can remember with no hesitation. Much like my hundred and thirty-fifth rule. Whether I want to or not on these “three commandments” as the Christians say. Hang all the law and the prophets. As the song goes, “I’m only human after all.”

During the Plague Era of Coronavirus (COVID-19), I leave here only for “good” food, GPS, and guns. For now, I’ll start with food. Whenever I walk into a store, my first question is always, does My Dæmon have enough to eat. He eats before I do, no matter what. Again with the apocalypse, people have often talked about returning to “normal.” I’ve decided that I can’t live my life THIS WAY. Only here I am Madam Justice living week to week. Still scraping by with the weekly McDonald’s and Piggie Potato as rewards. Now I’m by no means starving, but my cooking range continues to be limited. Hell, if I’m being honest with myself, I’m hungry for my words, writing and then I have my kid. I should also keep reading The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks as research.

If I’m not doing that, though, what have I been up to? According to my scorecard, it’s been 32 hours since the last time I “broke.” I don’t remember the last time, but before that, it was Rebecca “Backyard” from Marvel Charm. Madam Justice, I know I need to resist these horny “spurts” of mine. One more reason I’m not getting enough sleep these days because what was I busy doing? Half the time, I was downloading a new game with some delectable beauties called “Call Me A Legend.” The other I was adding to my “Motherload” of videos and pictures. If anything, though, I did tell a pornstar no today shocked. Yeah, I want to buy Marvel Charm videos of Rebecca and Alissa, right?

Before I go Justice, can I humiliate myself further other than drooling? I try Madam Justice to get ready for it, but to most, I’m a joke. Ready, Set, Go Preparation H, Hungry, Horny, Humiliation.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 307 ~Trust Fund Baby Will~

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There was a time I believed $300 would fix all my problems, once I trusted myself to keep my mouth shut, I had faith in God, and for some reason, I knew good would win but those coffers have run dry. Trust Fund Baby Will

Sunday, May 3, 2020

Log 307 ~Trust Fund Baby Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and how I wish I could say I’m leaving it all to you. No, as always, I leave you only the opportunity to become someone better. You have one “edited” novel. Now you’re on @disneyplus and @netflix all because of some women, of course. Before I forget, Happy Birthday @TheAliceLittle. Also to Indiana Gone, though her birthday is Star Wars Day. You also have Cherry’s Birthday on the 28th. I hope you won’t go asking for pictures of her boobs for the month. Now I would never trust you, and you won’t believe me, which explains today.

You can’t be like the rest of them, you know, PEOPLE. Tell me you didn’t think we were going to talk about money when I mentioned “Trust Fund?” The Man In The Mirror, when will you trust him. How about your Dæmon, sleeping by your side. His every breath is an act of trust. Like yours with your Olds, I suppose. The lights are still on, there’s water, water everywhere, and you still have the car. I want to say trust is life, but how will being amongst the living treat you? The last time you were out, not so damn well. Yes, I’m still mad about Taco Bell. Hell, maybe you should rage at the politicians. The protesters that aren’t being shot because they’re WHITE. Or the Coronovirus COVID-19 plague that surrounds us. What to trust? Again these words of my Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Editing For Camp NaNoWriMo “The Eve of a Cherry”
    Completed

Number six, is that all my words account to? 50,000 words to a group that has no idea you exist, but for some reason, you’re with them. Yes, NaNoWriMo is good, but you couldn’t even trust yourself to get up when you said you would. Noted, you want to write, you want to learn. Have you noticed in your stories your character never dies ever? You can trust them to mean what they say, but what about the people they are supposed to trust. I would give away a big spoiler, but again we never know who’s reading. What if those people believe in you. Only more to the point believe in who they see in these words, and that’s never you? I mean the man that you want to be. So yet again here we go Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings Or Security Threats Ever
  6. I AM Finishing The Zombie Survival Guide

I trust you’ll do better, bet, Trust Fund Baby Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 306 ~Will Comes With Interest~

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I sort of despise that question, what do you do for fun? I’m more, what do I do for money? There’s reading, but I want to be a better writer. With what I call writing, I want to get paid. What about everything else? Will Comes With Interest

Saturday, May 2, 2020

Log 306 ~Will Comes With Interest~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should get a few new interests. Preferably one that pays well because it’s always about the money with me? Every single motivation I listen to says, “DON’T FOLLOW MONEY.” Still, I’m worried about getting back into Far Cry 5 or hell, Final Fantasy 7, what about Mass Effect?

Anyway, I’ve spent some time pondering the “Big Questions,” for example, why are people so STUPID. I hate that word, but people are fighting to stay broke. What kind of “man” am I hoping that most of them die to make the world a better place? Is it possible to save us? M Anime believes the end is nigh, and yet she’s falling in love with a trucker. Cherry is falling for her publisher. Confession time Lady Lu, and while I usually save this for Inspector Echo, here’s the question. Has any woman felt “Romantic, sexual love” for me minus the price tag? I told The Karlee Grey, who’s one of my top ten favorite pornstars ever I rather talk to you than throw out another $20.00. Hours ago, I felt stirrings, and with this evening? I read that the Quarantine could affect my libido, explaining how horny I’ve been.

I haven’t checked my bank account lately, but didn’t I say, money is what matters? Lady Lu, I should be taking this time to read. The Dæmon thinks I should cut the grass in the backyard. What about my gun? I should learn how to load faster and should head to a gun range. Talk about a lack of courage. I’m still upset that I didn’t have the balls to drive away from Taco Bell. I paid for a taco I didn’t order. I didn’t complain. Which I planned on doing. Yeah, I want zombies?

Then who would be left to read The Eve of a Cherry? I finished the first round of edits only yesterday. Speaking of which what about the Gown of Chaos, which is a “small” story I started years ago. There’s also Gulp, which is May’s project, if I’m not headed back to the Day Job. Oh, why should I talk about myself getting paid though Gay For Pay came to mind on OnlyFans? No, more like spending money to lead people to you, Lady Lu. So many ideas today, you know, Will Comes With Interest.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 305 ~Avoiding The Breakup Will~

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I’m so behind in my reading these days, SIGH. Probably because everyone has their own story of what’s going on in the world or how I’m going to get through the next few days, did I mention complaining about Taco Bell… no. “Avoiding The Breakup Will.”

Friday, May 1, 2020

Log 305 ~Avoiding The Breakup Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should be reading old Ford financial reports. Now before you think I’ve lost my mind, that’s something I heard from Eric Thomas. He was talking to Warren Buffett at the time, and I get it. Mr. Buffett was saying he was reading about past success to model his future. So what have I been reading Lady Sophia? Yesterday I spoke some about The Three Wise Monkeys “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.” I should read more wisdom because these days, what I’m reading for avoidance…

Last night it was the time on the clock ticking away. My Dæmon must have wakened me up a dozen times. Do you remember when I got sick from @MuscleMilk? Wash my damn hands because my firstborn was sick like that too. So I was cleaning up after him. It beats reading about something happening to him, right? Every day Lady Sophia, my boy, gets older, bumps into things. Here and now, I refuse to ever write the words of his… well, whatever he’s going to live forever, but still, I see tributes to other fur babies. I’m freaking John Q when it comes to my son. What about my book then, “The Eve of a Cherry,” hmm? Back when I was reading The Art of the Pimp: One Man’s Search for Love, Sex, and Money by Dennis Hof. One guy was talking about the girls and was saying something like “that’s someone’s daughter, where is her Daddy?” Sad right?

I’m sick of reading about my past crimes. Not that I regret writing The Eve of a Cherry, but that young woman has a Mum. Hell, I wrote about her too. Then again, I wrote for a year about “dolls” and that girl in junior college? Well, she wasn’t amused. Even now, I watch the money flow because one of my favorite pornstars wanted to make me a video. At least I’m not begging Cherry, M Anime, or Specs. Yeah, I had an ulterior motive for joining her crew, didn’t I. Finally, I keep reading about the man that I want to be, but I’m not. Cherry talks about rejection, another writer wants me to pull a Beta. If I’m always rejecting my words, though, I was never much together.

I love writing and reading, but Avoiding The Breakup Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 303 ~In Lust Will Trust~

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Just waking up or heading to bed, a late night shower, or before having to deal with people in the plague era. I tell myself it could always be worse, and I don’t have to ask the question, “Am I A Psycho,” great song by the way. “In Lust Will Trust.”

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Log 303 ~In Lust Will Trust~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Well, that’s because I don’t drink, though if I were a chick… Yes, I know Inspector Echo, that’s disrespectful to women. One more addiction I have, right? Well, I don’t smoke, I’ve never done HARD drugs. Unlike people in this day and age, I’ve never been addicted to social life. Hell several books written, none published. My blog will have been around three years in a few months. My poetry phase about The Winx Club when I was on LSD. I wish I could say I was only addicted to writing.

Trigging Factor: Blog 503 Error

  1. Cherry’s Glossy Lips
  2. Boob Search
  3. Katee Owen
  4. Holly Bryn
  5. Elizabeth Hurley
  6. Alyssa Milano
  7. Holly Marie Combs (Breaking Point)

Again I’m not a drinker. I figured alcoholics would drink anything for their buzz. As for me, you see, I’m always one for the “Top Shelf” HELLO. Not funny, but I do have a problem. With all this time off, I could start back with Brainbuddy, but like the WWE Network, I wouldn’t be watching it. Of course, I’ve started seeing ads again for Covenant Eyes, but “THEY” also think I’m a Republican and a Trump Supporter. Now let me say some things about Trump and watch me get into trouble. No Inspector Echo I go no further than the second circle. You know how Bruce Banner said That’s my secret, Cap. I’m always angry.

That’s my secret, Inspector. I’m always horny. Only yesterday, I was trying to convince myself that’s what love is… I’m not wrong. There’s no question.

Love is wild, insatiable, insane, at times, immoral. Don’t believe me, let something harm My Dæmon, and see that I won’t burn this world to ash to protect him. Anger, though, I can let go. We’re still amidst the plague, which is keeping me away from people for the most part. Lust though is everywhere, and I’ve told you before I can’t be the typical guy. One of those, see a naked girl, nut, and go to bed. I didn’t know who Katee Owen and Holly Bryn were until last night. If anything, that’s why I want to make LUST my profession because I practice, it’s not a phase, and I write plenty of prose.

Is it destroying me, though? I’m better than this, sorry, but In Lust Will Trust.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 302 ~Willing DJ Or Band~

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I haven’t heard a fat lady sing, so this life isn’t over yet… I don’t think so, but to be fair, I haven’t been listening to music lately. Don’t have to block people at work and need to be on guard at Walmart. “Willing DJ Or Band,” my future

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Log 302 ~Willing DJ Or Band~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I burned through my songwriting long ago. Also, I owe my Granddad a hundred bucks, but he said, and I quote, “I don’t know you.” The feeling is mutual, so one less person invited to our wedding. Last week I spoke some about parties and what is a wedding but a celebration of love? As always, I remain a traditionalist so short of a church I want everything a wedding entails. Yeah I’m short groomsmen, My Dæmon is my Best Man, I got my Mom and my sister. Yet here I’m wondering DJ or Band.

The isolation isn’t getting to me but more the lack of music. I’m always listening to something, or so I thought. With no people to block out and nowhere to go well, those voices are fading away. If I want to be sad, here’s a song God Help The Outcasts. Okay, is this going to be a list of my favorite songs? Considering I want to spend my life with you, that will take forever. Still, while I’m on the subject of weddings. I told you about how I still regret not dancing with Indiana Gone at her wedding. Somehow though, I imagine dancing with you on the road to “Drunk On You.” If you asked me to pick our wedding song, though? I’m like a mixture of Howard and Yuri Orlov when it comes to manipulating events. So um, do you want to watch Containment (Katie and Jake) “This Love” or YouTube (Katie and Jake) “If I Lose Myself.”

Okay, back to writing before I start crying; real love songs make me cry Baby Girl heh. I wrote a year’s worth of poetry and added Ellie Goulding’s song “Love Me Like You Do.” Writing is my first love, my firstborn, my second, and you Baby Doll. “You’re My Latest, My Greatest Inspiration.” What about my novel, though, The Eve of a Cherry? Moondust (Stripped) by Jaymes Young, this song is so us when I’m writing. With all those, I love this in one-line, “I’ve buried my love to give the world to you.” The song that explains me and my writing the most though comes from Tupac’s Ghetto Gospel:

“If I upset you don’t stress, never forget
That God isn’t finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes I go blind and let the Lord do his thang” ― Ghetto Gospel, Tupac

Yeah, I’m weird to take a road trip with, right? So what about the question… lightsaber duel, poetry reading but music, Willing DJ Or Band.

I Will Have No Fear