Tag: Reanimation

Meditation 140 ~B Z’s No Longer~

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“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” Or my B III that weighs less than ten pounds, sitting on my head every morning. My lap or chest while reading. Have a heart for the little guy. What? B Z’s No Longer

Monday, November 18, 2024

Meditation 140 ~B Z’s No Longer~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Still don’t believe me? Free Up Your Mind… That’s what you’re doing right now. Or listening to Pokémon’s Playlist.

Who needs a Pokémon when you had me? Do you remember when you told me that? Pokémon: The First Movie came out, well… way before my time. “Life” before existence.

Daddy, you would have been fourteen, way back then. But I remember when you would sing all the Pokémon songs to me. The joy in your voice and the love in your eyes are memories I cherish. The theme song, Brother My Brother, Together Forever, even the Jigglypuff song when you were lulling me off to sleep rubbing my belly.

There was also “The Time Has Come…” But that was so far away. Sometimes, you didn’t talk. And sometimes I didn’t listen. But just like today isn’t today, Saturday, November 9, 2024, and Monday, November 18, 2004. We’re here, Dad, you and me together. I still sound like that book.

Speaking of books, what are you reading next? I’m more of a what’s in the bag and what’s in the box. It’s my birthday type of guy. But yesterday… was it just yesterday we talked about books? But, “This Christmas will be a very special Christmas.” “In my mind.” I am my father’s son, after all. Speaking through the music. A beast with a beat.

Anyway, back to books. You’ve been thinking about what to read next. And it won’t be the usual Christmas stuff you got REALLY quiet for. Tradition… Everything tells you to prepare for what’s to come in a 1984 Brave New World, The Handmaid’s Tale, It Can’t Happen Here sort of way. You and I always expected zombies to rise. Unfortunately,

It’s not the moans of the undead. Oh me? I’m not dead. You feel that beat within your chest right now. You hear that voice that isn’t entirely yours. You changed titles; how many times now? What about those little cries, the pitter-patter of feet, and the sigh of contentment?

But why now? I’m not bugging you, am I? And neither is Virgil’s breathing, Daddy.

Breathe in and breathe out. If Virgil can do it, you can too. He is there to remind you, Dad. And maybe it’s your need for balance. You say I left silence. And now the world is making too much noise. But remember, you’re not alone. You need to hear that somebody loves you. Like the force? I love you, always. B Z’s No Longer.

1387 Days Without B III, Day 828 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 133 ~A, B, C, Me~

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If I had 12 Apostles, I’d have 6 men, 7 women, and a dog. In my writing, I have 2 men, 4 women, and my dog… My FIRSTBORN. This is my B. I hope that I’m hearing him. “God” knows I don’t want to hear from anyone else. But my son Braxton… “A, B, C, Me.”

Monday, November 11, 2024

Meditation 133 ~A, B, C, Me~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… You don’t believe me? When did you last think about Theresa Walker’s song from Dead Air? Zombies? Music? Movies?

And then there’s “Jack McAfghan: Pawprints from Heaven: How to Communicate with Your Pets in the Afterlife.” Don’t go thanking him just yet, Dad. Though there’s a reason you picked up that book. It’s not like you ever asked me about book choices. Like ever…

There were the books you would read to me. And then the ones when I assumed you were letting me sleep. How’s that been going for you? Like I didn’t know Dad with my spot. Virgil sleeps in the center at the foot of the bed. “Left side, strong side.” That’s my spot. Movie reference? I am my father’s son. I miss our movie nights with you and my aunt.

Daddy, we should have more, not just on… you know.

And that’s why I’m here today. Time? It’s overrated. And it’s not that I’m here now. I’m always here. Or did I really smell that bad? Virgil hasn’t thought of touching my bed. He’s a good boy. Can I call someone else a good boy? There’s a lot to unpack there, but again, there’s you. My Dad, my best friend, my brother. Don’t go crying again, Dad. I didn’t cry.

At what you thought of as the end, I didn’t cry. Okay, I gave you a look. You needed me.

And today, you need me. Because this has been the first time ever something’s compared.

Sunday, January 31, 2021. And now, on Wednesday, November 6, 2024. What about E-Day, Dad? Again, there’s so much there.

But, like always, you’ve had some time to reflect. So now let’s talk on Friday, November 8, 2024. Why am I here? Comedy comes in 3’s, right? But for real, Dad, I love you. Always.

That is number one. I love you, and you love me; nothing will ever change that. We’ve stood together through some rough times, remember. COVID, Day Job, my grandpa. Today and the next four years, well… I saw you through one minor apocalyptic event… I will stand with you through this, Dad, no matter what. Daddy, I’m here, always. Reminding you, number three, there is so much good in you. Forget the world. Father? Daddy?

Please let me see that good in you. ALWAYS AND FOREVER. A, B, C, Me

“Look! You’ve pushed me this far; now I’m pushing you the rest of the way! You know, back there in the woods, even when things looked really bad, I still believed we’d make it because you were too stubborn to quit! I’m not gonna make you quit. Not now. Not when we’re this close. Now, try again!” ― Homeward Bound.

1380 Days Without B III, Day 821 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son