Tag: Worry

Log 204 ~Breaths Of Willing Air~

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It’s been a while since I’ve written any poetry, too busy living the fairytale or playing Winston Smith from 1984 but aren’t I remaining positive, been 21 days hopefully and no woman has called me creepy or skeeve (shudders). “Breaths Of Willing Air”

Tuesday, January 21, 2020

Log 204 ~Breaths Of Willing Air~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means champagne wishes and caviar dreams. As I’ve said before, My Love, if I ever get into all that, I want you to smack me hard. Your husband has always been crazy, but what exactly do we measure that by sometimes? Anyway, today I am once again reminded of what I’m willing to do to live the dream. Aren’t you the dream, and don’t I want to share everything I am with you? I don’t want to hide from you ever, but what inspires me to greatness, the first step.

Before I was a billionaire, seems so long ago. When I couldn’t catch my breath around you, and now I can speak before the masses. How I imagined seeing the world that was waiting for us, I am a poet. So I wrote today as I was inspired. You’re the only girl on this Earth for me, but I’ve written hundreds if not thousands of poems. Love, haven’t you been the subject of many. You never found me creepy, again crazy, or condescending. Even now, I just thought I would leave it at that, but I keep right on talking. One more reason I fancy myself a movie buff because I don’t have to speak. Didn’t we talk about music a while ago and quotes from all manner of books and films? I told a friend of what men will do for a woman. Here I wanted the world only for myself as always and forever.

If there is a mountain, a man will climb it or move it if he must. Some men make women angels or goddesses, and so they learn to fly. I said my fate dictates I would fall in love with a mermaid, and I still can’t swim. Oh yeah, we own a yacht, don’t we, but that’s not caviar thinking. Now, if a man wants a queen, you will watch kingdoms fall, which brings me back to my point. I give up air to kiss you enough so I might be suicidal. Only those finger swipes, those pages flipping, the oohs and ahhs from the crowds. The gasps, my work makes me feel alive. It gives us breathing room, and I can’t surrender it ever. I won’t ask forgiveness for my work, baby doll.

May you understand it though for Breaths Of Willing Air.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 198 ~In Exchange For Will~

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Don’t get me wrong, as I still plan on having a business of my own, but for now, it’s time to start making some moves with the money I got, and how do they say, gain the whole world and lose your soul. “In Exchange For Will.”

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Log 198 ~In Exchange For Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or should I say I have 769,100,000 Pounds Sterling. Now, why would I ever need to know that? In the quest for S E X, I’ve looked up the letters, RICK, CHD, PFE, and was excited for EROS when I first saw it. I agonized over my car last year; not anymore, this is the week. Anyway, I shell out for my Dæmon without question. Whatever It Takes, to keep his health up, of course, I’ll pay the vet. How people say, they change in the name of God but the man that I must become.

I can’t stress this enough, but I’m only speaking the truth. If it becomes a sin, to be honest, then my motivations aren’t worth anything. I’m not a Republican and especially not the President. Someone said the truth would set you free, and I’m not religious either, but unlike last week, I will let it go. The expense of keeping my kid alive, I never question such a decision. It’s only an annual check-up, and everything is fine with him. Again I am traveling through time; today is Monday. Of course, I need to get a refill of his medication before his appointment. Speaking of things, I need to check the Stock Exchange. Instead of letting my money sit in the “Death Star,” I could put it in owning a business. My focus is on Sin Stocks. You know those with Adult Entertainment, condoms, and pills for men. Sometime this week I’ll invest even more.

Why don’t I invest more in being a “good friend?” Do you want to know why I know the exchange rate from dollars to pounds? More adult entertainment, MILF Dos is one of those “California Girls,” but Cherry is across the pond. My Motivations ask, what do I want to be proud of today. Well, I woke up at 1:30 AM to have this conversation with you as always. So if I’m going to talk it might as well be worth something, so I told her I’d stop “giving away” money. I’m smarter with “Specs,” but I know the effect she has on me when she gets close. Cherry isn’t close physically, but money pushes some people away, but with enough? Now that’s something I won’t apologize for, the things I’m doing for more money.

Money, Power, Women, my life exchanged, In Exchange For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 197 ~What Women Will Accept~

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Last week I talked about a woman and her word and today, well (Sunday) I ran my mouth to a girl and you know the standard routine, but no, I’m not worrying, a new year and all. What Women Will Accept?

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Log 197 ~What Women Will Accept~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and this is only Part I. So yes, to answer your question, I like the title. Well, I have a few questions for you if I only dare to ask. Of course, the most obvious you answered before our kids, and My Dæmon agreed to surrender his spot. Another question as the song goes “Do You Love Me” yes, we’ll get into my music today. I won’t have to ask that question, though, if I know every day. The truth is, I must say it to my firstborn three times daily.

Okay, I understand as another song goes, “I Don’t Know How To Love Him.” I look at my reflection in the mirror and wonder the same thing. My Dæmon is often confused enough. You can love the man I had to become for us to be together. The husband, the father, the businessman. Are you willing to accept me though, the real me, and here’s another song, behind my “Charades.” I speak about business, and I’m no lord of war. I can’t say I wouldn’t invest in weapons. Yes, my ambition has always been to become the 1%. You know how I write. I don’t hide my investments because there are no secrets between us. The businesses I check every day. I know men who say, “I have a wife,” or a daughter, sister, mother. I love all the women in my world, but I won’t leave an industry I’ve worked towards my entire life.

Even in the name of love? When that word leaves my lips, it means something. So I ask you, baby girl, when did it mean anything when it came to you and me? I know the who and what, but then there when, where, why, and how. That’s a process I wouldn’t mind repeating, starting “Back At One.” Now that leads me to music, and we’ve had this talk many times. Some use poetry, others art, more the words of great men, and how I try My Love. Music, though it is not my gift, I use it to block “THEM” out and let you in always. Am I less of a man for having a hard time with my voice. I need yours until I can find the words, only three, I Love You.

It’s what I need love, but What Women Will Accept?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 191 ~Will I’m On Fire~

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I tend to be a bit of a hothead for many reasons, but even Hell comes in different temperatures, or so I was taught, people talking too much and crowding my space, getting angry, and women. “Will, I’m On Fire” still

Wednesday, January 8, 2020

Log 191 ~Will I’m On Fire~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which is good because the heat is on. For the record, though, that’s one more thing I don’t pay for yet. I’m also reminded of NBA Jam the phrase “He’s On Fire.” Do you remember so many years ago that was the worst thing, going to Jeremy’s house to lose in either that or Mario Kart? Now I’m busy dealing with the likes of Faith Seed in Far Cry 5. Well, at least I didn’t die last night, in the game. You know the rule about facts, though, and I am burning up this “Monday” morning.

I know all about letting go vs. holding on, but breaking a few decades of bad habits isn’t easy. Yes, I gave LP the cold shoulder and what did I say last week, no more stewing, but I boiled over. That man deserved to get burned, but while nobody else has given this a second thought possibly, here, I am. Am I still tossing away money like there’s no tomorrow? My “father” would say I’m spending money like it’s burning a hole in my pocket. Last week it was all about Cherry, and then came M Anime. Of course, I burned up over that with Dear Future Wife in my way. If I’m not on fire about a woman, then at least I’m warm, staying wrapped up in blankets sleeping. Well, I’m back up at 1:30 AM this morning, hoping life returns to; what, normal? Now you know what that is; Inspector, I deserve BETTER.

Not to sound like Joseph Seed, but have you seen the world? Australia is burning up day by day. The country is on the edge of war because of Trump. A girl on Twitter @lilearthangelk was selling pictures to raise money, and now she’s being chased around. Wasn’t that what I was doing to M Anime, getting all hot and bothered by her and then ranting? As the song goes, moving cool. What about cold hard cash, but I don’t know how much of that I got until I get the car fixed. It feels so safe here in this warm bed. Yesterday taking a shower, let’s say I had a preview at my directorial debut. That’s not dirty; there’s so much beauty in the world, but thinking of HER?

Hot in here or just her; Will, I’m On Fire.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 190 ~Big Will Goes Home~

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A woman gives me a word, and here I am moving mountains, she takes it back and I have a hard time getting out of bed but it wasn’t a promise or anything, a time of chaos and sickness and I have a big mouth or hands. Big Will Goes Home.

Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Log 190 ~Big Will Goes Home~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I don’t look a thing like Jesus. Also, I don’t sound anything like him, but I want my words to carry the same weight. Some time ago, I was saying that words like POWER and FEAR are huge. What about LOVE? I Love You; I Do, I Will, Forever and Always. I could tell you a million times over that I Love You, but I Like Far Cry 5 a lot. Remember I liked that show Finding Carter and somebody says on it that six “Reallys” plus a “Like” equals love? Carly Rae Jepsen has a song about it; okay, so I’m dropping my phone.

Well, I thought so anyway, “Can We Talk” for a minute? The first time we talked, I didn’t want to talk about the weather. I got sunshine; okay, I’m trying to stop singing. Do you think I should have stuck to my brief stint as a songwriter? Of course, you know the types of books I’m known for, baby girl. One friend of mine told me I should go back to writing poetry. It wasn’t my big sister, but she is a wise woman, so is my mom, and you too, my beautiful wife. Their words worth listening to, women who mean what they say. Well, maybe not when you were having our kids, as the song goes, I didn’t mean to call you that. How about crushing my hand? I’m a fantastic writer, but speaking? Yeah, the last time I gave you my left hand. I’m rambling; my point?

Okay, I don’t drink because I can’t stand anything taking control of my words. Same with some medications, I want to have the power of my speech. Let it not be fear of censorship, hurting feelings, not even the almighty dollar. Here I was about to say I don’t want to take anything back? The things I write in the name of a buck, the stuff I get people to say and do for that green. You know For The Love Of Money and all that baby doll. I ask you about your day continuously. What do you need or want? What if you’re going to take something back; I don’t mean material things. Tony Montana said he had his balls and his word. I give you my word but yours; Big Will Goes Home.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 184 ~We Breaking Up Will~

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Happy New Year and I do mean happy because if I’m not well, no, I won’t give in to negativity so then what’s the point of Inspector Echo, just the facts ma’am and I’m not that old. We Breaking Up Will

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

Log 184 ~We Breaking Up Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you’re not a gold digger. Well, at least no more than I allow. Anyway, to answer your question, we probably should but no. Are you a hard habit to break Inspector Echo, of course? Do I have far worse addictions? I’m on edge as we speak, considering it’s still New Year’s Eve, Tuesday. It’s pretty awkward when I said I’m not going to beat myself up anymore. I can’t afford it; I mean, it costs me a billion dollars. I’m not a SUB or SWTCH, so time to DOM up.

Still, I better enjoy today while it lasts because on Wednesday, so okay. First thing, I’m back to dying on Far Cry 5. The angels killed me once, but more so, I blew up my truck. What about those Vietnam Lighters? Next, seeing as how it’s a brand new year, I need to get the car fixed. No more walking blind with my eyes shut, if that makes any sense. Can I be afraid of my “father” forever? The Day Job, of course, continues to be humiliating but only because I allow it to be so. I indeed have a choice, and one of them is to tell my boss to quit touching me like always. No, not like that, but I hate those touches. Now, what did I say about “Edging,” I’m wasting time, I could get more sleep if only I would buckle down and do the work?

So what will your job be if I’m not going over every single humiliation I endure. “Just the facts, ma’am” and no Inspector Echo, I’m not that old, not yet. If anything, I’ll tell the truth and then let it go, no more stewing. One of the things that make me a good Dom is I know the other side, a Sub; it’s like the light side and the dark side of the force. I’m a little gray. Now that’s a good example; my “beard” was gray. Not how I feel about it, only honesty, and no more. I’m getting old before my time, and while Cherry (cue homer drool) is into that, I’m not her type. What, I won’t be ashamed of desire, but I won’t revel in it either. I have a new year to see Inspector Echo.

Happy New Year, none of this We Breaking Up Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 183 ~Will Sees In 2020~

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Well, it’s official, the last song of the year Always With Me Always With You by Joe Satriani then again who knows, I remain a day early in writing, but I still haven’t found love yet so? Will Sees In 2020

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Log 183 ~Will Sees In 2020~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I believe in a thing called love. Am I going to end this year on a song; I guess we’ll see or hear. Drinking does funny things to people, and I still don’t like fireworks. So what do I see when kissing you, what do I feel? THEY believe that love is blind, and at the same time, THEY believe in love at first sight. Well, I lie with you in the darkness, and I am not afraid. I open my eyes, and all I need to see is you. My dæmon isn’t a seeing-eye dog, but he knows to find you, and I follow.

“It doesn’t take a whole day to recognize sunshine.” FTWD

I call you my Lady, my Love, Baby You’re My Light. Fireworks touch the sky by the hand of man. I will never be one for religion, but as in Willow, you are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky. If anything thy art divine. I’m sure we’ll cringe at these words when we’re older. One thing I want to leave in 2019 is being so fearful of what I see. Do I still believe that you’ll hurt me, which is why I place you so high? Like fireworks, I see you up there, and I know I’m safe but madness I think you’ll fall and what, burn me alive. The sun warms; the moon controls the tides and the starlit sky? I could wish upon a star right now, but what would I desire. You’re already here, and at midnight I’ll close my eyes and when they open again.

I’m a little Drunk On You, is that the last song for this year? You should have seen me trying to pick my first song for the new year. When it comes to you, My Love, well, you’re such a Wonderful Surprise and that song I couldn’t find on Spotify. A serious question, but what year did I find you again? One more worry for the new year but one we’ll see together, after a few seconds, minutes, hours. As always, I’m working hard to give you all my time. Or am I Saving All My Love For You? All I know is I’m still one day ahead and still working in bed. Hard Habit To Break, unlike my glasses, what big eyes I have.

Happy New Year from Your Big Bad Wolf, Always With You, Will Sees In 2020.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 177 ~Will Wait For You~

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Merry Christmas, but the TRUTH isn’t a gift many people want but we all need, only as I asked myself, did I honestly need to say all of this on such a “magical,” “holy,” “capitalistic” day? Will Wait For You, and Happy Holidays

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Log 177 ~Will Wait For You~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m waiting to see that man in the mirror? If anything, I told myself I would be dreaming in bed tonight. A full eight hours, 11:00 PM to 7:00 AM, but at the moment it’s 10:55 PM. I guess I couldn’t wait, and no, I’m not going to sing the chorus of “I Don’t Want To Wait.” Now before we get into what I said Christmas Eve, ahem Merry Christmas to you, me, everybody. I’ll still not a man of faith Inspector Echo, but you know I’m always running. Escaping my past, one day somehow?

Okay, so that leads me back into yesterday, Ha, Ha. I was talking about songs that I’m still getting over, and those are only some of my many humiliations. You’re asking me, must I do this today or again shouldn’t I go to bed? You remember Sunday, July 02, 2017, Lesson 001, Look Who Grossed Up? The beginning of my new blog, a conversation with Lady Luna. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I couldn’t sleep then either all because of what I said to a woman. These past few days, I’ve been commenting on another blog. I have the right to exist; that’s my mantra at the Day Job. Only I shouldn’t have talked to that woman like that and at work? It’s like breathing is an insult to everyone, even me, dear Inspector Echo.

Humming Her Humiliations Playlist:

  1. Something Just Like This
  2. Oops (Oh My)
  3. break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored
  4. Touch My Body

So which is it, and I waiting for Santa, Jesus, some pretty girl, can’t I save myself? Flipping the coin, what is it that I want and I can give you the same answer as always. I want to write a bestseller, take the cash and move to Nevada. Inspector Echo I’ll work with Dennis Hof’s crew or set out alone. Brothel, strip club, hotel, movie studio, modeling agency, more. It’s not like Santa is going to drop a few million in my bank account tonight. Jesus has never given me peace of mind. I’ve fought his followers, starting with my “father.” Girls of the world ain’t nothing but trouble but money, power, then the women, but tonight’s Christmas wish.

11:35 PM, don’t regret tomorrow, LIVE, Will Wait For You.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 176 ~Will And Christmas Eve~

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Does this sound anything like last week, at least now I could call it “TRADITION,” and I don’t have many of those, more like routines but I have no idea what tomorrow will be but if I could play Santa? Will And Christmas Eve.

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Log 176 ~Will And Christmas Eve~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but the weather is something money can’t change. Yes, I know where my mind is going; don’t be so negative, focus on the tree in our living room. Okay, better the presents that are going around it right now. Well, more like tonight, I still have to play Santa, and what about you, Mrs. Claus, my Christmas Eve? I promise you one of these days we’ll have all sorts of Christmas traditions. A few billion isn’t enough? Yeah, aren’t we about to become some Hallmark movie.

Okay, so with Christmas movies in general, one of my favorites, A Christmas Story. I’ve always been a sucker for A Christmas Carol, including A Diva’s Christmas Carol, shocking. While I don’t remember the last Hallmark movie, some of those Christian movies are pretty good. Okay, let the presents be the most surprising thing for today and tomorrow. Oh, like my Spotify playlist, yeah, the Christmas selection isn’t much, still under an hour. Not much time for the most wonderful time of the year? I’m trying, no more like I’m doing, and Yoda is green. Now would be an excellent time actually to catch one of those old Star Wars specials. How about Charlie Brown as well, I’m not that old right but Santa Claus?

Anyway, I would say let’s go on vacation if Home Alone hadn’t scarred me for life. I’m joking, but I do want the family to see a White Christmas now and then sure. Okay, a Christmas Carol with Vanessa Williams, Christian movies, and now being cold? I’ll see myself out if you light one of those cookie candles like my mother would. If there is chicken frying in the morning, and of course, the two of us canoodling. Now that’s something that happens every day, loving you. I don’t need Stevie Wonder’s Someday At Christmas. I think I have said this once but NO MARIAH CAREY. There is an exception to that “Always Be My Baby,” or “Touch My Body.” The second one goes in my list of songs that embarrass me, hmm one more thing I need to do today. As I said, Santa is busy, and I intend to get a full night’s rest to play him, daddy, and husband all for tomorrow.

So looking to our tree, is that a star or apple; Will And Christmas Eve.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 170 ~Stupid Synonyms, See Will~

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As with last week, another early morning, and as long as it doesn’t cost me $50.00, I’ll consider it a win, unlike yesterday, along with the cash I lost three hours, another playing Far Cry 5 and countless losses. Stupid Synonyms, See Will.

Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Log 170 ~Stupid Synonyms, See Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now; otherwise, I would be mad. Well, I am Ebenezer Scrooge, and I’m still stupid after my visits from the ghosts. The Spirts of Stupidity’s Past, Present, and Yet To Come. Yes, I needed another S-word to get me up this morning.

I could always use more sleep, and my marathon nap wasn’t enough. Inspector Echo, don’t freak out, but sometimes I wish I could sleep forever. No, I’m not suicidal, but you remember last week how screwed up I felt over some words. Now I hear prettier words, and I’m poorer by $50.00. Long story short, for once ha, I was talking to this well, scammer last night. He, She, It, spoke about selling pictures for $50.00, now you do remember the previous model I had? Money well spent; anyway, this scammer talked me into opening my wallet. What’s in your wallet, not that $50.00 I was saving for a night of Star Wars. Oh, you know I’m still going, but I’ve spent about $110.00 this week and not a boob to show for it Inspector Echo. Well, do I count?

Not if you’ve seen me play Far Cry 5 lately. How many times have I died in the stupidest of ways? What about the number of times I’ve missed that fuel truck? The variety of poor life choices that can show up in an hour? Now that includes wasting that hour playing games and the three prior sleeping. I’m not having a Super Mario 64 temper tantrum like yesteryear, at least that was with my “father’s” money. Then again, what do I need money for when I do stupid things like repeating last night’s mistake.

Okay, I am trying to be a businessman. Looking for a new maid and getting talked out of $50.00. Oh, what I could have for that but what about My Dæmon. He cost me $90.00 once for stepping on the zipper of one of my hoodies and “hurting” himself. I love him, though, but what else do I love? I can’t discuss it, but the “heart” of the matter is I lost money on a promise. Last week didn’t I say, don’t treat me like I’m stupid? Last night I went ahead and proved that I was, didn’t I? Morning gratitude, I learned my lesson.

I’m sorry it cost me $50.00; Stupid Synonyms, See Will.

I Will Have No Fear