Tag: Worry

Log 197 ~What Women Will Accept~

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Last week I talked about a woman and her word and today, well (Sunday) I ran my mouth to a girl and you know the standard routine, but no, I’m not worrying, a new year and all. What Women Will Accept?

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Log 197 ~What Women Will Accept~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and this is only Part I. So yes, to answer your question, I like the title. Well, I have a few questions for you if I only dare to ask. Of course, the most obvious you answered before our kids, and My Dæmon agreed to surrender his spot. Another question as the song goes “Do You Love Me” yes, we’ll get into my music today. I won’t have to ask that question, though, if I know every day. The truth is, I must say it to my firstborn three times daily.

Okay, I understand as another song goes, “I Don’t Know How To Love Him.” I look at my reflection in the mirror and wonder the same thing. My Dæmon is often confused enough. You can love the man I had to become for us to be together. The husband, the father, the businessman. Are you willing to accept me though, the real me, and here’s another song, behind my “Charades.” I speak about business, and I’m no lord of war. I can’t say I wouldn’t invest in weapons. Yes, my ambition has always been to become the 1%. You know how I write. I don’t hide my investments because there are no secrets between us. The businesses I check every day. I know men who say, “I have a wife,” or a daughter, sister, mother. I love all the women in my world, but I won’t leave an industry I’ve worked towards my entire life.

Even in the name of love? When that word leaves my lips, it means something. So I ask you, baby girl, when did it mean anything when it came to you and me? I know the who and what, but then there when, where, why, and how. That’s a process I wouldn’t mind repeating, starting “Back At One.” Now that leads me to music, and we’ve had this talk many times. Some use poetry, others art, more the words of great men, and how I try My Love. Music, though it is not my gift, I use it to block “THEM” out and let you in always. Am I less of a man for having a hard time with my voice. I need yours until I can find the words, only three, I Love You.

It’s what I need love, but What Women Will Accept?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 191 ~Will I’m On Fire~

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I tend to be a bit of a hothead for many reasons, but even Hell comes in different temperatures, or so I was taught, people talking too much and crowding my space, getting angry, and women. “Will, I’m On Fire” still

Wednesday, January 8, 2020

Log 191 ~Will I’m On Fire~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which is good because the heat is on. For the record, though, that’s one more thing I don’t pay for yet. I’m also reminded of NBA Jam the phrase “He’s On Fire.” Do you remember so many years ago that was the worst thing, going to Jeremy’s house to lose in either that or Mario Kart? Now I’m busy dealing with the likes of Faith Seed in Far Cry 5. Well, at least I didn’t die last night, in the game. You know the rule about facts, though, and I am burning up this “Monday” morning.

I know all about letting go vs. holding on, but breaking a few decades of bad habits isn’t easy. Yes, I gave LP the cold shoulder and what did I say last week, no more stewing, but I boiled over. That man deserved to get burned, but while nobody else has given this a second thought possibly, here, I am. Am I still tossing away money like there’s no tomorrow? My “father” would say I’m spending money like it’s burning a hole in my pocket. Last week it was all about Cherry, and then came M Anime. Of course, I burned up over that with Dear Future Wife in my way. If I’m not on fire about a woman, then at least I’m warm, staying wrapped up in blankets sleeping. Well, I’m back up at 1:30 AM this morning, hoping life returns to; what, normal? Now you know what that is; Inspector, I deserve BETTER.

Not to sound like Joseph Seed, but have you seen the world? Australia is burning up day by day. The country is on the edge of war because of Trump. A girl on Twitter @lilearthangelk was selling pictures to raise money, and now she’s being chased around. Wasn’t that what I was doing to M Anime, getting all hot and bothered by her and then ranting? As the song goes, moving cool. What about cold hard cash, but I don’t know how much of that I got until I get the car fixed. It feels so safe here in this warm bed. Yesterday taking a shower, let’s say I had a preview at my directorial debut. That’s not dirty; there’s so much beauty in the world, but thinking of HER?

Hot in here or just her; Will, I’m On Fire.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 190 ~Big Will Goes Home~

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A woman gives me a word, and here I am moving mountains, she takes it back and I have a hard time getting out of bed but it wasn’t a promise or anything, a time of chaos and sickness and I have a big mouth or hands. Big Will Goes Home.

Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Log 190 ~Big Will Goes Home~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I don’t look a thing like Jesus. Also, I don’t sound anything like him, but I want my words to carry the same weight. Some time ago, I was saying that words like POWER and FEAR are huge. What about LOVE? I Love You; I Do, I Will, Forever and Always. I could tell you a million times over that I Love You, but I Like Far Cry 5 a lot. Remember I liked that show Finding Carter and somebody says on it that six “Reallys” plus a “Like” equals love? Carly Rae Jepsen has a song about it; okay, so I’m dropping my phone.

Well, I thought so anyway, “Can We Talk” for a minute? The first time we talked, I didn’t want to talk about the weather. I got sunshine; okay, I’m trying to stop singing. Do you think I should have stuck to my brief stint as a songwriter? Of course, you know the types of books I’m known for, baby girl. One friend of mine told me I should go back to writing poetry. It wasn’t my big sister, but she is a wise woman, so is my mom, and you too, my beautiful wife. Their words worth listening to, women who mean what they say. Well, maybe not when you were having our kids, as the song goes, I didn’t mean to call you that. How about crushing my hand? I’m a fantastic writer, but speaking? Yeah, the last time I gave you my left hand. I’m rambling; my point?

Okay, I don’t drink because I can’t stand anything taking control of my words. Same with some medications, I want to have the power of my speech. Let it not be fear of censorship, hurting feelings, not even the almighty dollar. Here I was about to say I don’t want to take anything back? The things I write in the name of a buck, the stuff I get people to say and do for that green. You know For The Love Of Money and all that baby doll. I ask you about your day continuously. What do you need or want? What if you’re going to take something back; I don’t mean material things. Tony Montana said he had his balls and his word. I give you my word but yours; Big Will Goes Home.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 184 ~We Breaking Up Will~

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Happy New Year and I do mean happy because if I’m not well, no, I won’t give in to negativity so then what’s the point of Inspector Echo, just the facts ma’am and I’m not that old. We Breaking Up Will

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

Log 184 ~We Breaking Up Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you’re not a gold digger. Well, at least no more than I allow. Anyway, to answer your question, we probably should but no. Are you a hard habit to break Inspector Echo, of course? Do I have far worse addictions? I’m on edge as we speak, considering it’s still New Year’s Eve, Tuesday. It’s pretty awkward when I said I’m not going to beat myself up anymore. I can’t afford it; I mean, it costs me a billion dollars. I’m not a SUB or SWTCH, so time to DOM up.

Still, I better enjoy today while it lasts because on Wednesday, so okay. First thing, I’m back to dying on Far Cry 5. The angels killed me once, but more so, I blew up my truck. What about those Vietnam Lighters? Next, seeing as how it’s a brand new year, I need to get the car fixed. No more walking blind with my eyes shut, if that makes any sense. Can I be afraid of my “father” forever? The Day Job, of course, continues to be humiliating but only because I allow it to be so. I indeed have a choice, and one of them is to tell my boss to quit touching me like always. No, not like that, but I hate those touches. Now, what did I say about “Edging,” I’m wasting time, I could get more sleep if only I would buckle down and do the work?

So what will your job be if I’m not going over every single humiliation I endure. “Just the facts, ma’am” and no Inspector Echo, I’m not that old, not yet. If anything, I’ll tell the truth and then let it go, no more stewing. One of the things that make me a good Dom is I know the other side, a Sub; it’s like the light side and the dark side of the force. I’m a little gray. Now that’s a good example; my “beard” was gray. Not how I feel about it, only honesty, and no more. I’m getting old before my time, and while Cherry (cue homer drool) is into that, I’m not her type. What, I won’t be ashamed of desire, but I won’t revel in it either. I have a new year to see Inspector Echo.

Happy New Year, none of this We Breaking Up Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 183 ~Will Sees In 2020~

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Well, it’s official, the last song of the year Always With Me Always With You by Joe Satriani then again who knows, I remain a day early in writing, but I still haven’t found love yet so? Will Sees In 2020

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Log 183 ~Will Sees In 2020~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I believe in a thing called love. Am I going to end this year on a song; I guess we’ll see or hear. Drinking does funny things to people, and I still don’t like fireworks. So what do I see when kissing you, what do I feel? THEY believe that love is blind, and at the same time, THEY believe in love at first sight. Well, I lie with you in the darkness, and I am not afraid. I open my eyes, and all I need to see is you. My dæmon isn’t a seeing-eye dog, but he knows to find you, and I follow.

“It doesn’t take a whole day to recognize sunshine.” FTWD

I call you my Lady, my Love, Baby You’re My Light. Fireworks touch the sky by the hand of man. I will never be one for religion, but as in Willow, you are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky. If anything thy art divine. I’m sure we’ll cringe at these words when we’re older. One thing I want to leave in 2019 is being so fearful of what I see. Do I still believe that you’ll hurt me, which is why I place you so high? Like fireworks, I see you up there, and I know I’m safe but madness I think you’ll fall and what, burn me alive. The sun warms; the moon controls the tides and the starlit sky? I could wish upon a star right now, but what would I desire. You’re already here, and at midnight I’ll close my eyes and when they open again.

I’m a little Drunk On You, is that the last song for this year? You should have seen me trying to pick my first song for the new year. When it comes to you, My Love, well, you’re such a Wonderful Surprise and that song I couldn’t find on Spotify. A serious question, but what year did I find you again? One more worry for the new year but one we’ll see together, after a few seconds, minutes, hours. As always, I’m working hard to give you all my time. Or am I Saving All My Love For You? All I know is I’m still one day ahead and still working in bed. Hard Habit To Break, unlike my glasses, what big eyes I have.

Happy New Year from Your Big Bad Wolf, Always With You, Will Sees In 2020.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 177 ~Will Wait For You~

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Merry Christmas, but the TRUTH isn’t a gift many people want but we all need, only as I asked myself, did I honestly need to say all of this on such a “magical,” “holy,” “capitalistic” day? Will Wait For You, and Happy Holidays

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Log 177 ~Will Wait For You~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m waiting to see that man in the mirror? If anything, I told myself I would be dreaming in bed tonight. A full eight hours, 11:00 PM to 7:00 AM, but at the moment it’s 10:55 PM. I guess I couldn’t wait, and no, I’m not going to sing the chorus of “I Don’t Want To Wait.” Now before we get into what I said Christmas Eve, ahem Merry Christmas to you, me, everybody. I’ll still not a man of faith Inspector Echo, but you know I’m always running. Escaping my past, one day somehow?

Okay, so that leads me back into yesterday, Ha, Ha. I was talking about songs that I’m still getting over, and those are only some of my many humiliations. You’re asking me, must I do this today or again shouldn’t I go to bed? You remember Sunday, July 02, 2017, Lesson 001, Look Who Grossed Up? The beginning of my new blog, a conversation with Lady Luna. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I couldn’t sleep then either all because of what I said to a woman. These past few days, I’ve been commenting on another blog. I have the right to exist; that’s my mantra at the Day Job. Only I shouldn’t have talked to that woman like that and at work? It’s like breathing is an insult to everyone, even me, dear Inspector Echo.

Humming Her Humiliations Playlist:

  1. Something Just Like This
  2. Oops (Oh My)
  3. break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored
  4. Touch My Body

So which is it, and I waiting for Santa, Jesus, some pretty girl, can’t I save myself? Flipping the coin, what is it that I want and I can give you the same answer as always. I want to write a bestseller, take the cash and move to Nevada. Inspector Echo I’ll work with Dennis Hof’s crew or set out alone. Brothel, strip club, hotel, movie studio, modeling agency, more. It’s not like Santa is going to drop a few million in my bank account tonight. Jesus has never given me peace of mind. I’ve fought his followers, starting with my “father.” Girls of the world ain’t nothing but trouble but money, power, then the women, but tonight’s Christmas wish.

11:35 PM, don’t regret tomorrow, LIVE, Will Wait For You.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 176 ~Will And Christmas Eve~

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Does this sound anything like last week, at least now I could call it “TRADITION,” and I don’t have many of those, more like routines but I have no idea what tomorrow will be but if I could play Santa? Will And Christmas Eve.

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Log 176 ~Will And Christmas Eve~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but the weather is something money can’t change. Yes, I know where my mind is going; don’t be so negative, focus on the tree in our living room. Okay, better the presents that are going around it right now. Well, more like tonight, I still have to play Santa, and what about you, Mrs. Claus, my Christmas Eve? I promise you one of these days we’ll have all sorts of Christmas traditions. A few billion isn’t enough? Yeah, aren’t we about to become some Hallmark movie.

Okay, so with Christmas movies in general, one of my favorites, A Christmas Story. I’ve always been a sucker for A Christmas Carol, including A Diva’s Christmas Carol, shocking. While I don’t remember the last Hallmark movie, some of those Christian movies are pretty good. Okay, let the presents be the most surprising thing for today and tomorrow. Oh, like my Spotify playlist, yeah, the Christmas selection isn’t much, still under an hour. Not much time for the most wonderful time of the year? I’m trying, no more like I’m doing, and Yoda is green. Now would be an excellent time actually to catch one of those old Star Wars specials. How about Charlie Brown as well, I’m not that old right but Santa Claus?

Anyway, I would say let’s go on vacation if Home Alone hadn’t scarred me for life. I’m joking, but I do want the family to see a White Christmas now and then sure. Okay, a Christmas Carol with Vanessa Williams, Christian movies, and now being cold? I’ll see myself out if you light one of those cookie candles like my mother would. If there is chicken frying in the morning, and of course, the two of us canoodling. Now that’s something that happens every day, loving you. I don’t need Stevie Wonder’s Someday At Christmas. I think I have said this once but NO MARIAH CAREY. There is an exception to that “Always Be My Baby,” or “Touch My Body.” The second one goes in my list of songs that embarrass me, hmm one more thing I need to do today. As I said, Santa is busy, and I intend to get a full night’s rest to play him, daddy, and husband all for tomorrow.

So looking to our tree, is that a star or apple; Will And Christmas Eve.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 170 ~Stupid Synonyms, See Will~

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As with last week, another early morning, and as long as it doesn’t cost me $50.00, I’ll consider it a win, unlike yesterday, along with the cash I lost three hours, another playing Far Cry 5 and countless losses. Stupid Synonyms, See Will.

Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Log 170 ~Stupid Synonyms, See Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now; otherwise, I would be mad. Well, I am Ebenezer Scrooge, and I’m still stupid after my visits from the ghosts. The Spirts of Stupidity’s Past, Present, and Yet To Come. Yes, I needed another S-word to get me up this morning.

I could always use more sleep, and my marathon nap wasn’t enough. Inspector Echo, don’t freak out, but sometimes I wish I could sleep forever. No, I’m not suicidal, but you remember last week how screwed up I felt over some words. Now I hear prettier words, and I’m poorer by $50.00. Long story short, for once ha, I was talking to this well, scammer last night. He, She, It, spoke about selling pictures for $50.00, now you do remember the previous model I had? Money well spent; anyway, this scammer talked me into opening my wallet. What’s in your wallet, not that $50.00 I was saving for a night of Star Wars. Oh, you know I’m still going, but I’ve spent about $110.00 this week and not a boob to show for it Inspector Echo. Well, do I count?

Not if you’ve seen me play Far Cry 5 lately. How many times have I died in the stupidest of ways? What about the number of times I’ve missed that fuel truck? The variety of poor life choices that can show up in an hour? Now that includes wasting that hour playing games and the three prior sleeping. I’m not having a Super Mario 64 temper tantrum like yesteryear, at least that was with my “father’s” money. Then again, what do I need money for when I do stupid things like repeating last night’s mistake.

Okay, I am trying to be a businessman. Looking for a new maid and getting talked out of $50.00. Oh, what I could have for that but what about My Dæmon. He cost me $90.00 once for stepping on the zipper of one of my hoodies and “hurting” himself. I love him, though, but what else do I love? I can’t discuss it, but the “heart” of the matter is I lost money on a promise. Last week didn’t I say, don’t treat me like I’m stupid? Last night I went ahead and proved that I was, didn’t I? Morning gratitude, I learned my lesson.

I’m sorry it cost me $50.00; Stupid Synonyms, See Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 169 ~Will At Least Until~

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Could this be my Christmas list or maybe despite everything, I’ll end up making a Hallmark movie at some point, or perhaps I’m like Santa when he needs to keep the elves hustling whatever the case? “Will At Least Until.”

Tuesday, December 17, 2019

Log 169 ~Will At Least Until~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m still Will somehow. Know Thyself, isn’t that right and I’ll tell you what I know. I know how I want to make my daily bread, I love you and our children more each day, and I can be a better man, every single day.

At least I’m trying, but then I look at Santa, who hasn’t changed a bit. Tradition despite everything, and while I’m real with you, I want to be magical for them. My little Dæmon knows his meals, quadruple in size. He and all our kids take pictures with Santa Claus. We bake cookies for him because my mom had one of those Chocolate Chip smelling candles. Talk about another definition of insanity. We watch all the Christmas specials on TV. A Christmas Story, Charlie Brown, A Christmas Carol, etc. I want to drive around and look at all the lights. We can trim the tree as a family. Every night before bed, I want to read them different Christmas tales. Yes, I’m trying to give Hallmark a run for their money. My Christmases didn’t include all this, but I want ours to be so perfect.

You and I can go out and see the new Star Wars. I’m looking forward to more of a red lightsaber than a suit I’ll tell you that babydoll. Still, I want to stay up at night reading novels. Accidental Santa, Christmas Cake, and that reminds me to lookup more stuff on Amazon. Our kids have Christmas List, but what about you, My Love. Well, after we fight the crowds in-store together. I suppose this is one more reason to learn how to get up early these mornings or why even bother sleeping at all.

What about when all the presents bring their joys and the year is counting down. I’m still not much of a drinker, the person I become. What happier for a bit, why can’t that be all the time? Baby girl, how I try with each moment. It shouldn’t be the season but always and forever, and I am a better man than I was before. So you ask me what I want for Christmas, and I remember my childhood. My lists were huge, and I don’t want to break out into Mariah Carey’s classic hit.

Now waiting for 24th to 1st, Will At Least Until

I Will Have No Fear

Log 163 ~You Don’t Willie Know~

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One more early morning and I don’t know what the day holds, however yesterday I would have chosen to skip a two-minute conversation or better other two words instead of feeling like I’m STUPID. You Don’t Willie Know

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Log 163 ~You Don’t Willie Know~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now; I sound so sure of that, don’t I? If anything, I was feeling glad yesterday. Well, all it took was one woman to snatch it away. I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it here, DON’T MAKE ME FEEL STUPID! Inspector Echo I apologize for getting loud, especially at this early hour. THEY admit it takes 21 days to make something into a habit, right. For the record, it’s day three, and it was easier waking today, especially with an extra hour thirty. I’m still waiting for that Ben Franklin truth.

Now that is my point; why do you think I am continually seeking out knowledge? Is it wrong to be ambitious, to want to better my lot in life? I’ve finished two books this week, one by Dale Carnegie another from Natasha Bender. In the spirit of family-friendliness, I’d advise you don’t look up one of those names. Anyway, I know so much; that’s right; I said it Inspector Echo. As one of my motivations says, I am wise. I will rise, I need no guise. So I will not disguise the fact that yesterday, some black lady hurt my feelings. Am I playing the race card; yesterday the president is looking at impeachment. Look, I understand that hate is colorblind, but it’s always people that look like me SIGH. “My people” who bring me down the most as always.

What is this all about, “diabetic socks for men.” Am I not making sense? So this lady comes into the Day Job and asks, do we sell those types of socks? I’ve never seen them, so I say no. She says, “compression,” so I mull the term over, and she says, “you don’t know,” and she walks off in a huff. Talk about wearing my heart on my sleeve always. That’s one more reason I’m still running, and I’m a stickler for time. A moment to think, and I end up feeling like a moron. It doesn’t help that I’ve been physically running away these days. I’m waking up super early as Eric Thomas suggests so I can get somewhere, but it’s not to the fight. The faster I move, the quicker the day ends. I’m sorry I don’t take the time to see the man in the mirror Inspector.

I say it’s all FEAR, but You Don’t Willie Know.

I Will Have No Fear