Tag: Fear

Log 160 ~A Will In Motion~

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One more considerable night of sleep, eight hours when I wanted to choose six but falling back to sleep, well that got me nowhere; still I was on time today to write about well, my spinning mind. A Will In Motion

Sunday, December 8, 2019

Log 160 ~A Will In Motion~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and when you Find Me, bring something for the Motion Sickness. That is a step in a forward direction. I remember playing Super Mario 64 and getting so sick that night I asked my “father” to take it back to the rental place. Next thing you know, I’m shooting cultists in Far Cry 5 and eating a turkey dinner afterward. Speaking of the Old Man, have you thought any more about talking to him about the car? How’s your ear considering you’re on time for our conversation, so you skipped the shower?

Well, between Cerberus, Medusa, Maenads, and Dutch’s Island not much? Now isn’t this the problem right here? You have a 50,000-word story in front of you. So you move on to the next one without a look in the rearview. When moving forward, where are you going, I ask? You hate looking back at your past work, I know. Nearly all of your motivations talk about having to forget about your past. You know what they mean, of course, because your novels are your future. I applaud you Will for being on time today. There’s always a, but in there, I know. But you were up at 4:00 AM, that was on time, and you had the presence to drink a root beer and down some gummies. Next thing you know, you’re back in bed until 6:30 when you decided to play TWD. What about, well your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 005 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
    Failed

Last week I mentioned excuses, you didn’t check the car because there was McDonald’s. You’ll leave it alone this week until you knock something off this list. Oh, and don’t forget to check that you’re still with a “specific” reading group. No need to sugarcoat this considering the list, as this isn’t in the “Family-Friendly” category. For example, “Rule 34,” I met that woman in Walmart, and it was like something out of SIGH “Adult-Entertainment?” I’ll need to get the car towed perhaps, and there are videos for that too; how hopeless are you, Will? I do mean in your viewing habits. You’re not going back to Brainbuddy. Between Mom’s birthday present and Indiana Gone’s birthday, wedding, and Christmas. How about the Dæmon’s gift? As always, your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

I should have come as the ghosts of Christmas, Past, Present, Yet To Come. Mind spinning, A Wheel In Motion.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 159 ~Not Will’s Mad Son~

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December 7th, brave men and women died so I could complain about nonworking cars, newer fears, and neighbors, some people might consider it madness, and I wish I could say I was crazy, but it’s fear. “Not Will’s Mad Son”

Saturday, December 7, 2019

Log 159 ~Not Will’s Mad Son~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now and a lover. Okay, time for the truth, I’m somebody’s son and My Dæmon’s father. So 2 out of four ain’t bad, better than my Six Impossible Things. Only I’m not mad at those failures as of late, but what’s grinding my gears today or not?

Again I have both of my parents, and I would rather lose myself than them. No, I’m not sentimental but indeed STUPID, sad, and a Scrooge. Now, this is more Inspector Echo’s wheelhouse, but here’s a confession. I was outside today “trying” to fix the car, and you know why? Lady Luna, I would indeed fry myself, poison, or crash rather than go to my Olds. Do you remember Indiana Gone’s Wedding? I was barely done checking in at the hotel when my Mom called frantically. She thought my card was gone. I didn’t tell her I was leaving town because I figured she and my “father” would ransack my place, no doubt. I’ve got submissive clothes in the closet, the house is a mess, and they might have better luck than hackers. It terrifies me to tell them one of my cars won’t start. One more failure from their STUPID son, so I can’t call the insurance people either.

The doctor, well, I haven’t seen one in forever, and my firstborn is doing fine. He’s only bored to tears. Daddy is always working, writing, looking at women. We are so going to get to that today. Anyway, I am no kind of father. Worse, I’m becoming my father; My Dæmon has a roof, he has food, I’m getting back my schedule with his medication. What about love, though? I tell him that every day, but how am I showing him some? He only ever gets my attention when he’s messing something up these days.

Speaking of messing up, the Universe presented me with an opportunity. While giving up on the car, a new neighbor walked up; her name is Madison. Brunette, pretty, no distance at all, but she wanted to use my Wi-Fi. Strange to call something mine, but anyway, what did I say? “I’m not comfortable with that, I’m sorry.” You know how I think Lady Lu, so why did I say no? As the song goes, oh no, the world is a scary place: well, I’m mad.

FEAR… Not Will’s Mad Son.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 158 ~The Will Of Success~

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There are things I can’t seem to avoid in life, one you know well. Two is President Trump *shudders* and a third is success stories even of people I like a lot, and unlike Eric Thomas, do I have jealousy and envy? “The Will Of Success”

Friday, November 29, 2019

Log 158 ~The Will Of Success~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m looking for more. Now, of course, you know why I say I have all the money every single day. You hear it, and so do the rest of the ladies along with The Man In The Mirror. Eric Thomas talks about not having jealousy or envy. However, this week, I’ve heard three stories of success that well? I wish I were a better man. Last night Tony Baker (my favorite comedian now) got mentioned by Chris Cuomo. The “Skibbity Paps.” It’s A Southern Thing, continues to grow in fame. What about me, well somebody tried to log into my email, AGAIN, isn’t that something?

Everyone else is moving forward. Still, the only people interested in knowing my name are hackers. Not a good thing to be talking about, but I didn’t even plan on posting this today. Gratitude Lady Sophia, I must show it, but I have twenty-four free hours, and what did I do today? Umm, two bowls of nachos, slept for three hours this afternoon and didn’t work on a character bio. I can’t tell you what the plan for today was. Well, I could have tried to fix the car, but I was lounging around in bed until someone tried their hack. Next thing you know, I’m up securing files and taking a shower. I didn’t even bother to clean out my ear. You see, it’s things like this, complaining, whining, moaning. It makes me STUPID.

“Order is Heaven’s first law” ― Dale Carnegie, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

I learned that today and this very moment, I’m attempting to live up to that knowledge. Below you’ll find only a list of one of my character glossaries when I worked on “The Big One,” I still haven’t decided on a title. My novel that inspired all the others but I can’t even finish GULP. If I wanted to Lady Sophia, I mean to put in the effort, but no, I like the “Day Job.” You know why it’s suicide, I’m killing myself every day, it keeps me focused despite the speed in which I do so. No, let me hate on Tony Baker and Talia Lin, you know why?

“If you wanna kill yourself, do it EXPEDITIOUSLY! Now go on and JUMP!” ― Joe Clark, Lean On Me (1989)

“You don’t have it.” Finola Hughes (Laura), Staying Alive (1983)

I don’t have it, Lady Sophia, The Will Of Success.

  1. Name
  2. A.K.A.
  3. Home
  4. Age
  5. Race
  6. Born
  7. First Appearance
  8. Hair Color
  9. Eye Color
  10. Cup Size
  11. Sex Appeal
  12. Family
  13. Sexual Status
  14. Sexual Orientation
  15. First Time
  16. Turn-Ons
  17. Turn-Offs
  18. Driving Motivation
  19. Biggest Fear
  20. Status

I Will Have No Fear

Log 157 ~Will’s Rey Of Sunshine~

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I swear I was all over the place today, still getting high off of Cherry Blossom fumes, the only thing Star Wars has ever done wrong by me, have me daydreaming about Rey instead of paying attention to anything else. “Will’s Rey Of Sunshine”

Thursday, December 5, 2019

Log 157 ~Will’s Rey Of Sunshine~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that’s still not enough to build a Death Star for myself. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, yes, I fully intend to live up to that warning today. Thursday is supposed to be a good day, but please allow me to get some things off my chest. First, someone honked at me this morning, no big deal, right? Well, I gave the driver the finger for starters. Of course, as I was going up the hill, I saw the sun and from one wrong moment to the next SIGH. I thought of the Basic Bitch, oh I dropped some Cherry Blossom candle mess at the Day Job. Finally, I again sucked, being the boss, but okay enough.

If you’re a Star Wars Fan as you know, I am, well Rey is hot as Hell. I could also tell you a few stories about Rei Hino from Sailor Moon (Homer Drool). You know, should I blame Rey for dropping that Cherry Blossom stuff today? Yes, I’m trying to be positive, but that’s yet another thing. For example, I said hi to a girl, and she said I scared her; I mean, it was only the surprise of it all. I should let this stuff go, I know, and it sounds easy enough to do Dirty Diana. Still, I’m damned either way, so why bother? Is that what today’s about, comparison, something like Kaori Saeki vs. Maejima Kaori. Now that takes me back, remember my Girls of the Week. Only I’ve stuck with this blog two years longer, something to be proud of some.

For the record, though, I’m still a brunette fan. I even told Brook Logan that. “Adult Supervision Required – Scene 2” yep that broke my NO FAP streak. Which I honestly must get back to somehow. Complaints never stop, do they? I read somewhere when you quit; your voice gets deeper. Dammit if I go to McDonald’s one more time, and someone calls me Ma’am again? It’s also not helping that I got that Hot For The Holidays novel. I’m not even close to finishing the book I have. How can I justify going to see the new Star Wars movie with sexy Rey at all? Looking for the sunshine, hell look at what time it is; Day Job’s killing me.

Other than FUCK, well Diana, where’s Will’s Rey Of Sunshine?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 156 ~Addict Up, Mr. Will~

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Show gratitude isn’t that right, and if I’m sleeping more then my ear must not be bothering me as much, I didn’t even mention it today, but of course, I’m always complaining about something. Addict Up. Mr. Will

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Log 156 ~Addict Up, Mr. Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I am asleep. Today I want to talk about my addiction. No, not “The Addiction” that’s for a possible Thursday and not “Family-Friendly.” Lest I forget I’ll break into Will’s Most Hated Words. Anyway, I don’t want to offend any former addicts, or indeed the general populace. It was only yesterday my “Grand Mommy” was called by hackers using my name, saying I had a DUI, the grandparent scam. I hardly ever drink, I don’t smoke, I’m not even a fan of coffee, you know.

Will’s Hated Words:

  1. Skeevy
  2. Stupid
  3. Merge
  4. Happy
  5. Family-Friendly
  6. Just Kidding
  7. Tease
  8. Freak

Coming soon, a top ten but for now my addiction. SLEEP Inspector Echo that is my sin. You ask me how is that a sin, aren’t I a “normal” American? I hate talking about the Day Job. I’m ashamed though, for two days I stayed awake, the third I felt drugged, today I’m under the covers. Everyday Inspector Echo, I listen to Eric Thomas railing about sleep. Then I come in, get something in my system, and promptly pass out. Talk about staying hungry if it keeps me awake. No, I choose to sleep over everything. I was late with my Dæmon’s meds because I wanted to sleep. Did I do any reading today? The pillow was calling my name. What time is it now that I’m talking to you? Oh, and I missed Cherry too because I am exhausted.

I talk about being an American with a job, but I’m also an adult. It never matters how I sleep; I only want so much more. Again there is one thing that keeps me going indefinitely, but I can’t go there. One more reason sleep serves as a substitute, or I could talk about violence. Yeah, I wanted to play some Far Cry 5, but I’m hoping to stay awake so that I can watch NXT. My Dæmon nowadays is an enabler, but he’s old. If anything, I should stay awake to enjoy being his dad for as long as I can. The kids say I should stay WOKE about the issues of the day. What about my writing, didn’t I say I wanted my book published by the end of the year? Good luck with that, as if right?

Sorry, Addict Up, Mr. Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 154 ~Heroes Die Or Must Watch~

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Last week I talked about being hurt, you know who gets a lot of that, heroes unless you’re Superman maybe and at this stage in the game I’m far more Marvel than DC, that’s the truth, but I’m also no hero. Heroes Die Or Must Watch.

Monday, December 2, 2019

Log 154 ~Heroes Die Or Must Watch~

Hundred And Thirteenth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m no hero. Well, sure, I walked my Dæmon around a pretty big dog today. I might have stopped following people on Twitter because I want to be a better man. So what I had a big lunch today and I’m fighting off sleep. Madam Justice, I wouldn’t mind being the hero, but I’m not. Wasn’t I telling Cherry the other day about Climate Change and how people should worry and be fearful? What am I doing to save the Earth? How about a friend who’s hurting? I wouldn’t help merely out of the kindness of my heart, sad to say?

As one rule goes, Heroes Die. If that’s the case, I want to live. Yes, I heard what I said, and to be clear, I’m not a doctor either. I should stop talking about my ear before I end up like Left Ear from The Italian Job. We’ll get back to my love of movies later. One more thing I’m thinking about is charity. I’m sure you’ve heard me say it before, but I only give to animals and NaNoWriMo. Madam Justice, I will never understand why the least amongst us are always asked to pay. There are people with billions that don’t even pay taxes. One day I will stop repeating myself, but I told you before my aunt said I wanted to destroy the world. Why would I do anything like that, there’s no profit in that undertaking. I’m also not Ozymandias; Talk about a hero to villain.

Okay, so movies, name one where the world became a utopia? Heroes fight, but they will be fighting forever, leaving wars to their children. You know, depending on the circumstances, I can watch pain. I read the His Dark Materials series, and they talk about building the Republic of Heaven where they are. It’s no place else but here and now Madam Justice. I don’t want to destroy the world, but I don’t think I can save it either. How about one more movie, The Core. A scientist was trying to keep his family; only three people alive because it was too much to save everyone. You know I would die for my Dæmon no question but to give him and a family a future? Down With President Trump. Black Lives Matter, whatever Greta Thunberg goes on about but me?

Heroes Die Or Must Watch

I Will Have No Fear

Log 153 ~Seven Hours To Will~

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Today was a change, a considerable amount of sleep, the Day Job only sucked half as much because it was half a day, and I’m finding it hard to complain, now I couldn’t say that with a straight face. “Seven Hours To Will”

Sunday, December 1, 2019

Log 153 ~Seven Hours To Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and as Tony Baker would say, “keep that same energy playboy.” When you woke up this day, how did you feel? Sure, you’ve had a better night’s sleep, but this one was Heaven sent a real miracle. Should we go over the standard, eye allergy, ear stoppage, and other things brought to you by the letter E?

Today was A half-day at the Day Job that could have gone in a different direction. Let me say this, my friend, DO NOT ENGAGE, we have rules and reasons about this, listen to them.

How about listening to your heart? Well, you’re here writing, and that’s a start. The Dæmon is off punishment and napping beside you. That’s another thing, how much sleep do you plan on getting tonight? Do you plan on being healthy, a fridge full of food? Financially speaking, how are you doing; MILF Dos and Brooke Logan. You’re always one to be family-friendly, one woman is only for you, the other people look-up at their peril. Now isn’t that something, looking up, and I don’t mean how you killed the last few hours. I’ve already said, you’re eating clean, etching a better portfolio, even found time to sleep. Of course, you know what that leads to, considering NaNoWriMo is over. You did 50,100 words for a novel. You can add 12,000 with our conversations but still these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
    Failed

If you only added up how big this list is Will? Take last night, for example; you began playing Far Cry 5. How many times did you die in, let’s say five minutes? Detroit: Become Human was way different, and there is still Heavy Rain. You didn’t forget about the car, did you, but of course, you had a good excuse, McDonald’s. Remember, you didn’t dance with the bride, so let’s not do the U Name It Challenge. Funny though this isn’t what was keeping you up, again, what reason do you have to complain? One more reason you were sleeping because when you’re not crapping on how much the world sucks? Yeah, you were talking to Cherry, who is not one for the world is doomed mentality. Neither are you Will, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

Currently, you have five hours before bed, so do me a favor and make those count. Should it be easy? Eat something, TWD, Gaming, Shower SIGH Seven Hours To Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 152 ~Willing Cause For Occasion~

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It doesn’t need to be noble, unique, or even a tragedy, I finished NaNoWriMo, and all I got is a YouTube video, so confetti, and a shirt I had to pay for but doing something like writing 50,000 words or getting out of bed. Willing Cause For Occasion.

Saturday, November 30, 2019

Log 152 ~Willing Cause For Occasion~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now, and you would think that would be enough. Yes, I have been listening to a lot of my motivations lately. If you recall last year or the year before, I got heavy into Fearless Motivation, Fearless Soul. I began “studying” Eric Thomas, Tom Bilyeu, and with this year Dale Carnegie. Now being honest, Lady Luna, I started reading and listening to him because of Dennis Hof. The thing is, with all of these works and teachers they require, Purpose, Discipline, and a Lack Of Sleep, SIGH.

Yesterday My Lady, I tried, and you know I’m always on the cusp of quoting Master Yoda. Anyway, I was reading, and when I began to read the same sentence twenty times in a row well. Now it’s not like I didn’t pay for it, I missed around a half-hour of wrestling. Don’t ask me what I ate for the last two nights? A bag of Goldfish crackers a kid left, six muffins, and four while I was in bed. There were two bags of sour gummy bears that I packed and two cookies. Is this what my life is worth, I ate Thanksgiving Dinner before working Black Friday and again I can’t stand my Day Job. So why do I try so hard at something I detest but do so poorly on things I enjoy. Yet last night, Brooke Logan plus Cherry. I’m still Family-Friendly SIGH; if you look any of those names up, you have only yourself to blame. I wish I could share, but I know better.

So as for today, why did I bother getting up at all? I mean, I got out of bed, put on my boots instead of my slippers, and then what? I played TWD so I could finish the Daily Challenge. My Dæmon has been outside and has eaten breakfast. I even made the bed today. I am stopping myself from crawling back in. I played some Pac Man; it’s been bothering me since seeing in at the Day Job. I counted up my savings, $625.00 since Indiana Gone’s Wedding. How I climbed in the shower this morning, is a miracle, besides being sore and my ear still hurting. Now I find myself talking to you. My whole point is with my motivations I need something to drive me, well, after NaNoWriMo. It’s not going to be Christmas, but staying on the cusp of survival or counting my sins, isn’t helping.

Life, Willing Cause For Occasion.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 151 ~Will’s Story Later On~

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I want to tell you I got a solid eight hours of sleep if anything I want to start reading again and recounting what I learned at night, instead of going over old stories, and what about my life story? “Will’s Story Later On.”

Friday, November 29, 2019

Log 151 ~Will’s Story Later On~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now and a liar, I suppose. Today I’m not sure how many I told from being out of a particular product. How about that someone else will pick up a bunch of Barbie dolls. It could be the smile I had to wear. Never mind the one on feeling any better. Now Lady Sophia, I am a fiction writer, well not today, story over and done with yesterday. I should still sign in with NaNoWriMo, I owe them a lot, making it.

Bills are only stories of the people you owe. Don’t ask me where that came from Lady Sophia. I’ve said this before, but I still NEED to get Indiana Gone a Birthday gift and one for her Wedding. Money is the story of things you did. Well, that explains how little I’m paid or not at all. There’s also the fact that I’m not that proud of those things. My life to this point is, if anything, one long list of bad reviews. So you ask me can I do better and I spend one month attempting that. M Anime asked me to tell her the story about Indiana Gone’s Wedding. I couldn’t even share that story of love or my “COURAGE.” Still, I have plans to be that father who reads stories to his kids at night. Besides telling My Dæmon, I love him every time I leave the house; I can’t even say Good Morning to my “Pancake.”

What stories can I tell you then? Last year it was the ant invasion, this year it’s my ear being stopped up. It could be that my leg hurts as the Dæmon is sleeping on it still. I wasted the whole day napping because Black Friday sucks, and no, I wasn’t shopping. Like Carol from The Walking Dead, dealing with younglings is not my forte. Keeping track though I finished a 50,000-word book, neither is staying on task. I’m still watching TWD Reactions. I’m thinking about being “corrected” by Fandom Spotlite, aka The Governor. Do you know what I wished for this day? I wanted to start writing up bios, starting with the scientist from The “Wrist” Of Playing Chrono. Oh yeah, that’s another reminder that somebody tried to friend me on Facebook for my writing. But, I’ve lost followers.

Of course, that’s another story or Will’s Story Later On.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 150 ~How Will Pantsed NaNoWriMo~

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Keep your pants on I finally won NaNoWriMo for this year, but about them pants, well I did order my winning T-Shirt, and how I wish I could say on this holiday there was a reason or a how-to on how to celebrate. “How Will Pantsed NaNoWriMo”

Thursday, November 28, 2019

Log 150 ~How Will Pantsed NaNoWriMo~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and also a NaNoWriMo winner. Now, Dirty Diana, I suppose I should say Happy Thanksgiving or how I love my Mama. Thanksgiving dinner is on the way, so of course, My Dæmon is pretty damn excited. So what gets me all worked up or indeed who. Well, today I don’t want to be, again I finished my book and ordered my new T-Shirt. It’s too bad NaNoWriMo doesn’t sell pants, I would probably keep them on then, don’t you think.

Anyway, what was the question, yeah, how I finished the book? Now I don’t mean to creep you out but three words, The Screwfly Solution. What I mean is, I traded one vice for the other. Instead of characters having sex, I settled for death. If by some miracle, I ever published The “Wrist” Of Playing Chrono? Blood would be more acceptable than other fluids. Should I give away the “ending” Dirty Diana? Red hair, blood, stop lights, but no big guy in red, or noses. Of course, you know I never stop worrying. I was looking for some sweet release knowing my “father” is bringing dinner, comfort, joy? Yeah, I should stop mentioning my parents. That’s one more reason I completed NaNoWriMo, what will I do with my life. Read more books; I remember I rather enjoyed Christmas Cake by Celia Aaron last Christmas.

I know none of this sounds that sexy, but I’m not in the mood. Yeah, I couldn’t say that with a straight face, but I didn’t get my afternoon nap. Between having money and a moment of understanding, no more words need to come out. There is always more to do. My motivations often mention that for a champion, it never ends. I’m tumbling down the rabbit hole, and I don’t only mean MILF Dos and her obsession with such. How about Indiana Gone and her love of Disney? You know, maybe it’s what’s been going on in the world lately that is making me ashamed of my fetishes. Before I go, though, I mentioned my new shirt and a need for pants. I do like fucking girls with their clothes on, well I should say in a particular outfit. A fool and his money I know, but I work hard, “play” hard and writing?

Well, I won, didn’t I, again How Will Pantsed NaNoWriMo.

I Will Have No Fear