Tag: Fear

Log 077 ~Great, Just Be A Man~

WillLeave a comment

I’m better than I was yesterday, but everything within me wants to argue you that fact and I need only wait until I get around some people and what the hell will happen to my manhood. Great, Just Be A Man.

Monday, September 16, 2019

Log 077 ~Great, Just Be A Man~

Hundred And Second Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Millionaire right now and remain a stickler for time. Haven’t I always been and with the Day Job? I need to be a step ahead, still. Does that mean I’m running? Well, Run Boy Run. The question is, where am I going, hell I’m always running at the Day Job. I woke up this morning (Sunday) because of a nightmare. Remember “Stupidest” from the Day Job; the dream had me running from a gaggle of them. Somebody killed me, but I don’t know who. Anyway, the moral I got was they were the better man.

Which, of course, leads me to today? Yesterday I got my Patreon running, and this morning I got my modeling page up. These are the thoughts of a businessman, a man that is doing. You know I’m always on the cusp of quoting Yoda or some great erotic writer. If I were only to be me though SIGH I’m upset I lost a Facebook friend. I’ll be in a bad mood for this week for a variety of reasons. Oh yeah, and the first block I was expecting came from the unexpected. What the hell NaNoWriMo I thought it was a funny meme. Speaking of pictures, what’s that I said about a modeling page? Can you believe I had the nerve? The moment I start talking about cover girls, I get a message from my publisher. Now that gave me a chill without a doubt.

To think; that’s one reason I hate fear so much, it stops you from thinking. Anyway, I want to live such a life, and the smallest things get in the way. You know maybe that’s the rub. Now, this is more Lady Sophia’s thing, but a writer is akin to a god. The idea is after I create the man has to deal with the mess. Mountain from a molehill so you might ask me why go all out. Again it makes me feel great and then I know I’ll have to get by when it comes to life. If I had my way Madam Justice I would be strong enough to tell people to Fuck Off (LANGUAGE). What happens to those kinds of people in my stories? One of my motivations says to be the hero of your story. Why live History books? Before that Madam Justice, needn’t be Great, Just Be A Man?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 075 ~How Many Wills Later~

WillLeave a comment

As the song goes Gotta Have The Money if you want to get the honey and that I have, well until October perhaps or the next pretty face; still makes me feel like a schoolboy but what’s my age again? “How Many Wills Later”

Saturday, September 14, 2019

Log 075 ~How Many Wills Later~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and it’s been one week since “The Day.” Well, that’s having faith that I will survive the rest of this day (Friday the 13th). Indiana Gone got me close to a machete for Christmas last year. Anyway, time to focus on one more revolution around the sun. Two weeks in and how close am I to that million? $10.00 down from this week and last. Still there’s life in me, haven’t even checked how long I’ve gone without Fapping. Oh and porn, only educational, or ripping off ExCoGi’s model pages right?

With all the writing I do, I’ve never written a will. I’m not suicidal but if there was a button to end it all right now? Yeah, I would press it by accident. I’ve announced I’m going to die over the years. There have been some attempts, but if I died today who would get all my stuff? Hell, how much am I offering models these days? Lady Lu that’s what nobody understands, that rush, adrenaline, motivation. Sex is one thing but when I got MILF Dos to take off her clothes. You know having that sort of power, I want more. It’s not like I’m going into photography anytime soon. How many times in one week have I told you about my studies? When I was back in school I never hungered for knowledge most days. History was my subject, and some science but they never teach you the fun stuff. The wrong word?

The things that make you proud that get you to say, I want to do that one day. I might not have the patience, which explains today. Once a week on Craigslist, posting would be $260.00. I paid more for my first model. Should math be my subject now? I hated that above all others. Didn’t stop me from wasting about an hour again, working on a model page. How many days has it been since I talked to Outskirts Press? As the song goes, “Cause I just wanna look good for you.” My novel and funny how they were barking until they got my money and now radio silence. Publishers along with the rest of the world since “The Day.” One more reason I call it that, the end of my existence Lady Lu. When anybody cares again I ask How Many Wills Later.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 074 ~Will’s Hood Has Ideas~

WillLeave a comment

Pop the hood, hell it’s too hot as is and I’m not talking about my car; well let’s say today is a beautiful day to stay indoors despite the sunshine day and as long as I’m removing clothes if I had a model. “Will’s Hood Has Ideas”

Friday, September 13, 2019

Log 074 ~Will’s Hood Has Ideas~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now and have even more ideas. Now which one of them is going to net me that million. I was ready to invest $5.00 more in my new business. Oh my writing, more like getting girls to take their clothes off. Hell one woman I got to do that started a business of her own. The eye doctor didn’t notice any change in my eyesight as I recall. So I’m ready and waiting as far as writing and women which brings me to you today. I’m still playing time traveler as today is Thursday. A man has to eat, so how do I get that done hmm?

As I said ideas for my book, I started off thinking thirteen faces. At least that’s what I told Indiana Gone, and I hate lying. The thing is I don’t know if I’m lying or not. It’s a good idea but getting five women to make an Ahegao face for the cover of my book? A real visceral experience and two birds, one stone. You know I hate that saying that a picture is worth such and such more than words. If I have learned anything a week after “THE Day,” sex sells. Of course, I’ve always known that Lady Soph. Morgan is still trying to sell those headphones of hers. A few nude pictures she would have all the money with change. Please don’t make me go into how much I do respect women. People pay to go to museums and admire art. The same will go to a strip club. What’s the purpose of the internet once again?

So my ideas, finding four or five girls to do an Ahegao face in person for the cover. Of course, I’m a greedy S.O.B so have them here to model, beauty equals profit. With that, I was down the rabbit hole, looking into modeling, adult entertainment, etc. Anyway, people say they give blood, sweat, and tears, to their passions. Water is the element that brings life. Do I need to tell you what other fluid does the same? Five fluids and five women though I can shorten it to four. Finally, there’s that Ad that I keep writing and rewriting. I swear Lady Sophia if it was for my book. There’s also my modeling agenda and doing the finances. Today friend, Will’s Hood Has Ideas.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 073 ~Ahegao If You Will~

WillLeave a comment

The only O Face I’ve made in weeks is Oh My Sweet Buttery Jesus. I should make gaming videos like TheRadBrad but as far as neglecting things I haven’t played Heavy Rain in a while, working on my life’s purpose. Ahegao If You Will

Thursday, September 12, 2019

Log 073 ~Ahegao If You Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now and on the grind. Yes, that made me want to laugh too, but I’m interested in another face. Is it a smile? Well, I did find my Fidget Cube or sooner had it returned; it was sitting on my locker at the Day Job. As far as work goes, this is endgame. The theme this week, writing and women, which is plenty of work. Speaking of which, listening to Spotify, I found that Jennifer Love Hewitt song “It’s Good to Know I’m Alive.” Adding to my, well not temptation but Vicki Vallencourt from “The Waterboy.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1c1s_pgEmzI

Now I always say that dreams are messages. Last night with my porn studies; Dirty Diana, I am studying the legality of creating adult movies. Anyway, it’s hard work, dirty work, okay I’m trying to stop. How do my motivations say, when you do what you love, right? Only remember I was studying Sin Stocks last week? Finding out anything about the adult entertainment industry has complications. There’s no plan other than finding a good lawyer, and Legalzoom wants $216 for a business advisory plan. Add them and Wendy’s to Ruby Tuesday; businesses I hate. So now I’m making a mad face but where’s the gratitude? I’m not lying in bed, I didn’t get fired from one job, and I’m working on my life’s purpose.

I still hate smiling, though, which leads me to another face, “Ahegao.” When I was young SIGH, I moved up another age bracket. Now Ahegao means panting or moaning face. Dirty Diana, that’s perfect for my book “GULP.” I should talk to Lady Sophia about that but when my worlds of sex and writing collide? Even this morning on top of everything else I was looking at how to get File Upload Forms. I also watched a video on release forms. Would I do such a thing if I was some horny fuckboy? You know I have more porn than I know what to do with and I stole around 95% of my collection. Getting girls to take off their clothes hell, I’ve done that so it’s possible. I sound like Les Brown. It’s Possible. Why is it so difficult to learn though and why not try something more conventional?

Again it’s good to know that I’m alive. Nothing does it like an “O Face” or Ahegao If You Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 072 ~Will’s Pretty A Mused~

WillLeave a comment

The two things I sit down at my computer for, writing and women; whatever happened to my dreams of world domination I ask you but wouldn’t that be a major sin on top of everything else? “Will’s Pretty A Mused.”

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Log 072 ~Will’s Pretty A Mused~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now; if only I had been a better man. On 2001 today I was sitting in my senior English class when my country suffered a terrorist attack. Hell I was in the Navy for a few weeks but not because of 9/11. If I had the cash would I have helped? I nearly failed that class Inspector Echo. So what have I been studying this week? Last week it was Sin Stocks and Sean Weathers. For the past few days it’s been Ads, Lighting Fixtures, and prices for actresses here and there.

I swear Inspector Echo I rise for three reasons. If my firstborn needs me for anything, his life is my number one priority. I bragged about him to my sister on her birthday. Of course it’s right after my “DAY.” Did I mention that Ruby Tuesday still sucks? Unlike my taste in women right? I haven’t been referring to temptations these days because real life has been; well I don’t know. I was excited after I got that message yesterday; now she was beautiful. The second one I got today, as the song goes I’m a ladies’ man a businessman. Now that brings me to what I did by placing that Ad for my book. So my other two reasons for being, writing, and sex. Well not sex I’m not STUPID though fear has screwed with my judgment. MILF Dos is starting a business so why not me, especially now.

The Day Job has me terrified enough. I also have the fear that the police are going to show up any minute. Remember, I got arrested at my punishment school? High school fun right Inspector? The cops did show up maybe a month or so ago at the Day Job. Somebody pushed the wrong button. Now isn’t that a sin, my guilt complex? More like all I do these days is pushing the wrong button. I’m trying to stay a day ahead, but I killed a few hours on my Ad. The moment I go looking for models somebody comes with more wit and money. Brevity as THEY say, but I’m pretty wordy. At least that wind, those breaths aren’t over my pillow, I’m “working.” Yeah, looking up Amazon and how to do File Upload forms right here Inspector Echo.

I apologize for saying no at the Day Job but now Will’s Pretty A Mused.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 070 ~Just Wake The “Hell” Up~

WillLeave a comment

When you’re asleep the monsters can’t get you, I heard that in Blue Gender but what am I going to hear tomorrow, chances are it’s going to be all kinds of Hell, but I refuse to lie there and take it anymore. Just Wake The “Hell” Up

Monday, September 9, 2019

Log 070 ~Just Wake The “Hell” Up~

Hundred And First Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and also a Time Traveler. Not only because I’m from 1984 literally. Yes I know I’m starting this on a Sunday. If I were, to be honest, Monday has always been a bad day. Eric Thomas does his TGIM’s Thank God It’s Monday. I have a few in my motivational playlist. The thing is, as the rule states, I need to wake up; I mean to everything Madam Justice. As the song goes, open your eyes, look up to the skies and see. Wishing on a star.

Most mornings, when I get up there is nothing but darkness. I can blame The Day Job or my ambitions. The sad thing is, when it’s The Day Job, next comes the bathroom light. I’m a writer, aren’t I? Shouldn’t I be taking that darkness and getting it down on the page? You know the only thing I love more is my Firstborn. Sometimes I see his cute furry face looking at me for his daily walk. He’s there, the sun is up, the birds, everything. It’s a disservice to keep my head down. It’s like I’m looking for real estate, you know. Find a spot and start digging. I look at my life anticipating a zombie apocalypse you know. Often I imagine I’ll make the perfect survivor, but these days I feel like I’m dead. Who knows what could happen as they always say, live each day as though it’s your last; do I?

Well, today (Sunday) I took a step in that direction. You want to know why I feel dead Madam Justice. It’s illegal for me to be alive. Why do I find solace amongst the dead, the machines, I speak on clones. I write about beasts because they have that excuse. It’s too damn easy to lie there and be a joke. Most people aren’t alive; they’re fucking noisemakers (LANGUAGE). Then those same idiots wonder why they are so exhausted all the time. We aren’t allowed to rest because we are too busy always being someone else or something. You know what wakes me up, a pretty face and a nice pair of boobs. The fact that I will look any man or beast in the eye that threatens my kid. Having a damn brain SIGH.

I can’t sleep away life; I’ll face the living nightmares. Just Wake The “Hell” Up

I Will Have No Fear

Log 069 ~Will’s Got New Beef~

WillLeave a comment

So I survived The Day, wasn’t the point not to be invisible, when it comes to my age I don’t mind so much, but still I should call Ruby Tuesday and them a piece of my mind and Arby’s says they have the meats. “Will’s Got New Beef”

Sunday, September 8, 2019

Log 069 ~Will’s Got New Beef~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now; you should hope to say that next year. Keep the Positive Vibes that’s why you have temptations. These include Riley Reid, Talin Shields, Tegan Mohr. The amazing cosplayer Jessica Nigri and some Ecchi/Hentai in Zone-Tan. One more reason to love anime am I right? Let’s not go asking, “What’s My Age Again?” THE DAY is over, and you’re alive. Time is not on anybody’s side though. One more enemy to the list and I’m sorry I added a new one. For the record FUCK Ruby Tuesday (LANGUAGE).

Speaking of yesterday, I did help the environment by cutting up that pile of plastic rings. I also got rid of those containers of Dasani water. Yes, I sound like I want to make you a spokesman for certain corporations. Only you have decided not to go that route. If anything you want to damn The Day Job. You can say Wendy’s and Target are garbage because you don’t work there anymore. Don’t go putting things out into the universe though about your current position. I know you can’t help being fearful and confused about such a place. Let’s not forget about hate and worry? Again THE DAY and your “father” uttering those two STUPID words. In that case, Hulu, Regal, Team USA, the bank, and “lender” all suck. What about the beef with as always SIGH Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 013 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 020 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Answering “M Anime” As I Answer “Indiana Gone” And “Cherry”
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Beautiful Tears (Enemies To Lovers) C.P. Mandara
    Completed
  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 020 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Not Getting Fired From The Day Job Now
  6. I AM Finishing Unhinged By Nicole Cypher

Half the list again which is still a 50.5 F. What do I have about writing book reviews, even on excellent titles? While I was saving the planet, I should have registered my firstborn. It would have cost less than that small amount of steak, tiny potato and a few shrimp from Ruby Tuesday. Of course you should be working on the book instead of thinking of ways to get girls naked. Hell anything is better than dealing with The Day Job. Are you only feeling like Scrooge today when it comes to money? Would you rather be angry or sexed-up? How about Express Checkout like 1408 but you’re not suicidal? Still, you don’t need days like yesterday or like anytime at The Day Job. Stop thinking of the worse days of your life. Why not the very best Will?

Thing is you like beef and pretty flesh, and what does that get you, enemies? Too bad you don’t have Drogon, Will’s Got New Beef.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 068 ~I Will This Year~

WillLeave a comment

Here I am as the song goes, one more year and if you asked my honest opinion on whether I’m better or worse, well unlike our president I can freely admit that I messed up but next time? “I Will This Year.”

Saturday, September 7, 2019

Log 068 ~I Will This Year~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now or here’s hoping as right now it’s Friday. Last week I spoke about being on the stock exchange. If anything now is the time to take stock of my life. Hell on the previous “DAY” I sat in front of my TV eating expensive McDonald’s. I didn’t want to go out.

Today, “Friday” I took five hundred dollars and went to a strip club. I still have that same five hundred dollars. Don’t look at me like that Lady Lu. I did cut the grass, and I still have to clean the whole house tonight. I also picked up spaghetti sauce and more McDonald’s. The best “DAY” I had was years ago, feeling up “Okay” and then taking “Indiana Gone” to the movies. What this DAY will bring, I don’t want to know. I said before it’s like being back in high school bad grades and all. There was nothing to celebrate. For the most part, I’ve hidden it well. Damn my bank, Facebook, and even Team USA. So I’m not doing anything? I could go to the movies or out for Chinese. I could order a steak and baked potato. For once I could pay for porn. Like buying my first Fleshlight all over again.

Of course I should be in Reno. I told you all this before; my Red Dawn Purge Fantasy. So what’s my age again as the song goes? Better question, how will this new year be any different. Last year I said I would be sitting on a million. I could be looking at it right now. The only thing is, it’s on white paper instead of green. Alice wanted $200 for doing absolutely nothing, would serve me right. I spend $14.00 not to FAP. Years ago I paid $300 to do so in style, three sleeves, a case, and three tubes of lube. As I was listening to my motivations while cutting the grass again, they say Find Your Purpose. It’s been a year, and I still know what it is and the secret of life. It’s the least I can do to share such things with you.

Seek Out A Kingdom Worthy Of Your Soul

The Adult Entertainment Industry

Don’t make promises that you can’t keep. For now, all I know is I want to survive today and tomorrow. JSS, I Will This Year.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 067 ~Will Hires A Musing~

WillLeave a comment

So this is it and I don’t know exactly how I feel or how to express it apparently… do I need a doctor or a mortician, should I be directing a horror film or living it and tomorrow will come regardless. Will Hires A Musing, or a “Terminator”

Friday, September 6, 2019

Log 067 ~Will Hires A Musing~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, or I better become one Monday. September 1st was the goal, and with everything yesterday well? Positive vibes Lady Sophia, the law of attraction. As I named my motivational playlist “Tell Me Something Good” for once.

Have you ever played that game Fuck, Marry, Kill? When it comes to my working hours, I will marry my writing. Of course Fuck the adult entertainment industry and kill my Day Job. That’s something I shouldn’t say, again considering yesterday. I’ve said it often enough, the best thing in the world is to be loved. If not that liked, barring that respected. Not right, okay invisible, and after exhausting the idea, feared. I was invisible but why? Rule #002 states: You Are Not A Caveman. Still, where would we be without them Lady Sophia? A grunt here, a picture there, a word? I fuck (LANGUAGE) pixels all the time (FAP), or I used to you know. Again I would marry my words. More than anything I wish I didn’t have to make a sound. Suicidal on the eve of “The Day?” It wouldn’t be the first time Lady Sophia.

Let’s play another game. Would You Rather never be born at all or live my life? How about this, would I rather go back to high school and have bad grades on The Day? Or would I rather keep this moment and worry about going back to Hell? I’m damned either way as always. Can’t say that I’m surprised how this week has turned out. More law of attraction but I wasn’t thinking about The Day at all. I expected nothing and the world manifested shit (LANGUAGE). I’m sure that’s what my mom thinks of her oldest son. Would You Rather have your son or your daughter? Easy when it comes to my Olds. Ask the Day Job, would you rather have an eight-year employee who wants to work or anybody else, I’m fucked (LANGUAGE).

I’m more a Battle Royale, The Hunger Games, The V Games type of guy. Schoolgirls vs. Professional Models. Brothels, strip clubs, movie studios, filled to the brim. Notice I didn’t have any temptations today; I didn’t get much sleep last night. Yeah even when I’m not at the Day Job or with my Olds these days SIGH. Terminator, Hooker, Devil, to help with my life’s story Will Hires A Musing.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 066 ~Lust This Once Will~

WillLeave a comment

Last week I said, Somebody’s Got To Do It and every day when I’m not living up to my potential well hell, I’ve nearly quit my job a few times this week for people treating me like I’m stupid and I shouldn’t be happy. Lust This Once Will, I wish.

Thursday, September 5, 2019

Log 066 ~Lust This Once Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but Dennis Hof was worth more. I can imagine the stories Jimmy Stephens can tell. Only this week, I began studying Sean Weathers. They’re B-Movies; lacking funding but quite fascinating.

I’m somewhat uneasy mentioning these gentlemen. That alone might suggest this line of work isn’t for me in some way. However, much like my writing, though it’s something that has never left my mind. In a way it’s like people and religion. My steadfast belief in the zombie apocalypse. What about that dream where my mom was ashamed of what I do. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been studying. Hell, I wanted to be a YouTube reactor once. Tell me how to do that on-screen screen action I mean everyone does that. It’s a man’s purpose to talk a woman out of her clothes, procreation and such. I’ve done it before with my poetry though I didn’t reap the benefits. I’ve paid to get it done but no sex; talk about self-control though “Okay” might disagree. Now what Diana?

Dennis Hof wrote about taking girls on dates. Only he wasn’t the boyfriend. Bad boys would pay him to fool the parents, and all he need do is deliver the girl for the real dater. Doesn’t that sound evil but I’ve sounded like that all day. Today is Wednesday. I also read that Jimmy Stephens is getting back into the business. Now you know I can do that on Pinterest. I got nailed for one of my boards a year or so ago with “clothed” adult actresses. One of my “hottest” boards though it’s strange. Lastly, Sean Weathers; now let’s say his movies pan out at $3,000 to $5,000 a pop? I’m not that brutal, yeah says the man who tried to talk two redheads into a Purge/The Corpse of Anna Fritz mash-up. I only got a thousand and a publishing contract that’s gathering dust.

Yeah, I could be working on my book, but I’m talking to you a day early. Instead I have research, how much actresses cost, equipment, and video release forms. Doesn’t sound sexy today but it beats the organization skills of the Day Job. Also I’m still keeping it in my pants. Thursday I will be much too tired and humiliated. What happened to positivity, my Day Job, that’s what. Be happy, Lust This Once Will

I Will Have No Fear