Tag: Life

Log 176 ~Will And Christmas Eve~

WillLeave a comment

Does this sound anything like last week, at least now I could call it “TRADITION,” and I don’t have many of those, more like routines but I have no idea what tomorrow will be but if I could play Santa? Will And Christmas Eve.

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Log 176 ~Will And Christmas Eve~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but the weather is something money can’t change. Yes, I know where my mind is going; don’t be so negative, focus on the tree in our living room. Okay, better the presents that are going around it right now. Well, more like tonight, I still have to play Santa, and what about you, Mrs. Claus, my Christmas Eve? I promise you one of these days we’ll have all sorts of Christmas traditions. A few billion isn’t enough? Yeah, aren’t we about to become some Hallmark movie.

Okay, so with Christmas movies in general, one of my favorites, A Christmas Story. I’ve always been a sucker for A Christmas Carol, including A Diva’s Christmas Carol, shocking. While I don’t remember the last Hallmark movie, some of those Christian movies are pretty good. Okay, let the presents be the most surprising thing for today and tomorrow. Oh, like my Spotify playlist, yeah, the Christmas selection isn’t much, still under an hour. Not much time for the most wonderful time of the year? I’m trying, no more like I’m doing, and Yoda is green. Now would be an excellent time actually to catch one of those old Star Wars specials. How about Charlie Brown as well, I’m not that old right but Santa Claus?

Anyway, I would say let’s go on vacation if Home Alone hadn’t scarred me for life. I’m joking, but I do want the family to see a White Christmas now and then sure. Okay, a Christmas Carol with Vanessa Williams, Christian movies, and now being cold? I’ll see myself out if you light one of those cookie candles like my mother would. If there is chicken frying in the morning, and of course, the two of us canoodling. Now that’s something that happens every day, loving you. I don’t need Stevie Wonder’s Someday At Christmas. I think I have said this once but NO MARIAH CAREY. There is an exception to that “Always Be My Baby,” or “Touch My Body.” The second one goes in my list of songs that embarrass me, hmm one more thing I need to do today. As I said, Santa is busy, and I intend to get a full night’s rest to play him, daddy, and husband all for tomorrow.

So looking to our tree, is that a star or apple; Will And Christmas Eve.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 175 ~Watching, Waiting, Hoping, Just Move~

WillLeave a comment

Run boy run, as the song goes, running’s a victory because even then I’m getting somewhere and if you ask me where I’m going, well tomorrow is Christmas Eve after all and while I imagine roaring fires? “Watching, Waiting, Hoping, Just Move”

Monday, December 23, 2019

Log 175 ~Watching, Waiting, Hoping, Just Move~

Hundred And Sixteenth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t follow the money. The truth is I follow my purpose as my motivations point out. One more early day, another mention of Far Cry 5. I beat the first “level” last night. Holland Valley Region Liberated, meaning I can finally take a breather. Isn’t that the problem, breathing is never enough for me, and at the same time, it takes so much to do so. I mentioned motivation, and I read, you must be careful how you talk to yourself. That your body doesn’t know the difference, positive, negative.

What you say and do matters, and is that why I choose neither. The effort gets to be too much sometimes. Another one of those self-help titles talks about you only need to feel good. When I wake up like this, the truth is I’m exhausted, but I’m super after the conversation. It doesn’t matter if I have to take a shower or I get to go back to bed. I’m moving forward, Madam Justice. Whether it be words, women, or warfare, and then I have to wonder where I’m going. Here’s another question, am I being dragged, am I all Do or Do Not, am I digging holes? Each footstep digging a grave? I don’t mean to sound morbid, again, careful how I speak about myself. At this time of the year, shouldn’t I be happier, one of those dirty words right, Madam Justice?

I’m trying Madam Justice; I’m even reading another Christmas story. Snow Angel by Minx, that’s as festive as I’m going to get. One more thing, every little step I take, as the song goes, I’m told is wrong. People demand I grow up but don’t look to the stars. I was about to mention slugs, but again, language. Do you remember when I would call myself out for that when I was cursing? Should I say I have more in common with Reginald Barclay or Vincent Anton Freeman? Despite being easily forgotten or their failures, and many fears they kept going. Living in the darkness Madam Justice, if you’re moving, there is no wrong direction. It’s why like those XBOX commercials, I ask, do I step, or do I leap? Why do we fall? How about why I have no throne here as of yet?

I’ve got no time, Will’s Watching, Waiting, Hoping, Just Move.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 174 ~Will Die Another Day~

WillLeave a comment

So what a way to kick off Christmas week, if anything I might let myself get a full eight hours, I don’t remember when I got six, uninterrupted, but it hasn’t killed me yet, though if this was Far Cry 5? Will Die Another Day.

Sunday, December 22, 2019

Log 174 ~Will Die Another Day~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, because I was a millionaire last year or not. How close are you? I mean, right at this second? I wish I could say I left you in a better position. Is it ever too late to spread joy? How about to acknowledge life or to live yours? I know that once this conversation ends, you’re going right back to sleep, but why. If you had to be at the Day Job, you would hop in the shower now. During NaNoWriMo season, you would say, 5000 words. When you were hiring, you would be full of energy.

Dream, Decide, Do; set a deadline dog as the kids would say. Last night, for example, I made a plan. Okay, sure it was Far Cry 5, but I said, I would take another outpost, meet Father Jerome, and kill John Seed. I wonder, is it family-friendly if I’m talking about video game characters? Anyway, I got it done, and I didn’t make a dime. At the same time, all the Christmas gifts are going to be late. Does love have a deadline? Love that’s a big step, but that’s neither here nor there. Unless we’re talking about the Dæmon lying on your ankles. My point is, it’s all about time. You want more time, and I’m not helping. Wasting all these days. You’re following in my footsteps, or you will. The week before was something to see, but how about those Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing The Book “Accidental Santa” By Celia Aaron
    Completed

I barely completed #6, and that was yesterday. There was another NaNoWriMo shirt in the mail as well proclaiming a victory. Fifty thousand words and not one book to show for it, Will. What about the grand plan that started for only $5.00? Every week I hope that you will be a better man, but I was worse than the one last week. When was the last time half of this list got done? In all fairness, these are some big things, but do I want to go back and see when’s the last time I conquered #1 ever. Have I ever been such a father? I moved towards #3 because of a woman. #4 has become a joke. Talk about dying because that’s the only result in #5. Twenty minutes that was #6 and now these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
  6. I AM Finishing The Book, That Is To Be Chosen

Life isn’t Far Cry, quit dying; Will Die Another Day.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 173 ~The Will To Betray~

WillLeave a comment

I say I would never betray my son, I don’t cheat on women, and I want to be as honest I can, even to a fault as some say but while I’m trying to look into a mirror, who is it stabbing me in the back? “The Will To Betray”

Saturday, December 21, 2019

Log 173 ~The Will To Betray~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now, and that’s worth a little treason. Now I don’t wish to emulate the President but for the right price? Didn’t I talk about having peace of mind last week? Instead, this week I have bought more almost, my arrogance, and anxiety. You know, in being the man that I want to be, I’m not even close. Last night I sent a message/comment to a blogger offering my services. In all fairness, it hasn’t been twenty-four hours. How about anxiety from spending money on more mom, $50.00 from a scammer. Of course, there’s also Indiana Gone’s gifts.

One of my motivations talks about sacrificing what you want. I know what I want, but every day I betray that man, and for what exactly? I rise at this “godforsaken” hour every single morning, expecting to get even more work done. On a workday I talk to you, I am almost late for the Day Job. I work for them, come back, and fall into my unmade bed, repeat. The real me sucks, but what about the virtual version. Of Mice and Men, they say, I had one plan and what happened there? Well, I’m taking the fight to John Seed because I’m sick of air travel. Namely, bullets and bombs, finding their way into my body, Far Cry 5, of course. There is one more life that depends on me, and I’m still not much of a father. My Dæmon has everything he needs, but what about more. No, I’m too concerned with maids, and let’s say charity.

I’m a businessman, or so I want to be like Hugh Hefner and Dennis Hof. No, they made choices; they gave others options. I ask everyone to forget who they are so they can fit into my narrative. Only that’s somewhat the idea, to break out. I need to start breaking out of the roles that people place on me, Lady Luna. Are these character studies any better or worse than the ones that I write of myself at times? What about the woman that I want to make happy one day? If you want me to have gratitude, that’s what it is for today. The idea that I can still believe in something like that at all. Well, l look at the time, the seconds marking my perpetual treason. Wake up, wise up, and denounce The Will To Betray.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 172 ~Will And Unfinished Productions~

WillLeave a comment

Will, I honestly leave so many things unfinished at the end of this year, indeed the decade; I still have eleven days to come up with some final words, and no not like that, I’m not done yet. “Will And Unfinished Productions”

Friday, December 20, 2019

Log 172 ~Will And Unfinished Productions~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s because I can close. The truth is, I’m also a writer, and that usually means starting in the middle and fighting my way out. Now I know where I’m beginning, Second Circle Creations. You also see the ending, but that’s better left to “others.”

I call myself a traditionalist, but you can also add perfectionist. Most people would say there’s no such thing is perfect. Well, I’m also a Star Wars fan, and it was a decade before I was born. When it comes to the path I’ve chosen for my life, it begins with one word, Willie. I’m sure I’ve told you the story, the first words I ever remember writing. Afterward, running to my aunt and asking what did it say. My name, and since then, it’s always been about what other people think about what I’ve written down. Even the title, the word Willie, it’s how I identify. How about as in giving somebody the willies. I could talk about the guiding force in my life, which of the seven deadly sins directs. Where there’s a will, God’s will, Iron Will, the “wheel” of destiny, or steel, what is my Will?

I want people to read, and yet I don’t publish any books. People have made it quite difficult for me to speak. My words, if they don’t find stagnation in my files, are sitting in police cabinets. Lost to me on a young woman’s blog, I don’t dare go to ever. There are the ones that die in my mind as soon as I think of them. Some I wish that I could take back. You can see last night as an example, smarting off to my mother, then again? Lady Sophia, I even hid my thoughts from yesterday morning from fear of being abandoned.

It would serve me right with all the stories that I’ve left wanting. The thing is I don’t want to be like “My President,” my words coming back to bite me over and over. I don’t want some universal hatred like the Game Of Thrones finale, (sigh). Every day I play Far Cry 5, and my character dies in the STUPIDEST ways (shudders). I don’t want to be like Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker and leave myself so unfulfilled.

The truest sentence, that’s me, not Will And Unfinished Productions.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 170 ~Stupid Synonyms, See Will~

WillLeave a comment

As with last week, another early morning, and as long as it doesn’t cost me $50.00, I’ll consider it a win, unlike yesterday, along with the cash I lost three hours, another playing Far Cry 5 and countless losses. Stupid Synonyms, See Will.

Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Log 170 ~Stupid Synonyms, See Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now; otherwise, I would be mad. Well, I am Ebenezer Scrooge, and I’m still stupid after my visits from the ghosts. The Spirts of Stupidity’s Past, Present, and Yet To Come. Yes, I needed another S-word to get me up this morning.

I could always use more sleep, and my marathon nap wasn’t enough. Inspector Echo, don’t freak out, but sometimes I wish I could sleep forever. No, I’m not suicidal, but you remember last week how screwed up I felt over some words. Now I hear prettier words, and I’m poorer by $50.00. Long story short, for once ha, I was talking to this well, scammer last night. He, She, It, spoke about selling pictures for $50.00, now you do remember the previous model I had? Money well spent; anyway, this scammer talked me into opening my wallet. What’s in your wallet, not that $50.00 I was saving for a night of Star Wars. Oh, you know I’m still going, but I’ve spent about $110.00 this week and not a boob to show for it Inspector Echo. Well, do I count?

Not if you’ve seen me play Far Cry 5 lately. How many times have I died in the stupidest of ways? What about the number of times I’ve missed that fuel truck? The variety of poor life choices that can show up in an hour? Now that includes wasting that hour playing games and the three prior sleeping. I’m not having a Super Mario 64 temper tantrum like yesteryear, at least that was with my “father’s” money. Then again, what do I need money for when I do stupid things like repeating last night’s mistake.

Okay, I am trying to be a businessman. Looking for a new maid and getting talked out of $50.00. Oh, what I could have for that but what about My Dæmon. He cost me $90.00 once for stepping on the zipper of one of my hoodies and “hurting” himself. I love him, though, but what else do I love? I can’t discuss it, but the “heart” of the matter is I lost money on a promise. Last week didn’t I say, don’t treat me like I’m stupid? Last night I went ahead and proved that I was, didn’t I? Morning gratitude, I learned my lesson.

I’m sorry it cost me $50.00; Stupid Synonyms, See Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 169 ~Will At Least Until~

WillLeave a comment

Could this be my Christmas list or maybe despite everything, I’ll end up making a Hallmark movie at some point, or perhaps I’m like Santa when he needs to keep the elves hustling whatever the case? “Will At Least Until.”

Tuesday, December 17, 2019

Log 169 ~Will At Least Until~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m still Will somehow. Know Thyself, isn’t that right and I’ll tell you what I know. I know how I want to make my daily bread, I love you and our children more each day, and I can be a better man, every single day.

At least I’m trying, but then I look at Santa, who hasn’t changed a bit. Tradition despite everything, and while I’m real with you, I want to be magical for them. My little Dæmon knows his meals, quadruple in size. He and all our kids take pictures with Santa Claus. We bake cookies for him because my mom had one of those Chocolate Chip smelling candles. Talk about another definition of insanity. We watch all the Christmas specials on TV. A Christmas Story, Charlie Brown, A Christmas Carol, etc. I want to drive around and look at all the lights. We can trim the tree as a family. Every night before bed, I want to read them different Christmas tales. Yes, I’m trying to give Hallmark a run for their money. My Christmases didn’t include all this, but I want ours to be so perfect.

You and I can go out and see the new Star Wars. I’m looking forward to more of a red lightsaber than a suit I’ll tell you that babydoll. Still, I want to stay up at night reading novels. Accidental Santa, Christmas Cake, and that reminds me to lookup more stuff on Amazon. Our kids have Christmas List, but what about you, My Love. Well, after we fight the crowds in-store together. I suppose this is one more reason to learn how to get up early these mornings or why even bother sleeping at all.

What about when all the presents bring their joys and the year is counting down. I’m still not much of a drinker, the person I become. What happier for a bit, why can’t that be all the time? Baby girl, how I try with each moment. It shouldn’t be the season but always and forever, and I am a better man than I was before. So you ask me what I want for Christmas, and I remember my childhood. My lists were huge, and I don’t want to break out into Mariah Carey’s classic hit.

Now waiting for 24th to 1st, Will At Least Until

I Will Have No Fear

Log 168 ~Want It, Work “Freaking” Harder~

WillLeave a comment

I wonder, is my Mom be proud of me? My Day Job is nothing and how I wish to earn my bread well; in either case, I never feel like I’m working hard enough and she’s not getting any younger. Want It, Work “Freaking” Harder Will. Happy Birthday Mom

Monday, December 16, 2019

Log 168 ~Want It, Work “Freaking” Harder~

Hundred And Fifteenth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I should be, I know. Okay, before I begin, ha, I want to say Happy Birthday to my mom. If she ever read this blog well, better not to wish that at all. She doesn’t want to see the “man” her son has become. I’m not Martin Luther King Jr by any means, but I Have A Dream. Well, I did last night, which is quite easy to interpret. One more reason to laugh, I was going on a date with Sabrina Nichole and some other girl. Sabrina was “tethered” to me, and I was embarrassed, so I unhooked her, letting her run into the green.

It was a green mountain Madam Justice, thick and luscious. I don’t know about the other woman, but I kept my eyes on the prize of Sabrina. She was traveling through and made it to the top with ease. She is waiting for me and ain’t I the funny one today. Anyway I get stuck in the green, I’m not moving at all, I can’t climb up. I can’t resist, right myself to stand or even rest. This morning I’m still exhausted, but I got up a lot easier Madam Justice. Okay, what is the point of the dream, Higher, Further, Faster baby. You know what I can say about women but still “Family-Friendly.” I even changed the rule ever so slightly, but yeah, the truth is the truth. I could also quote Scarface to tell you what my dream means, but I’m not dreaming.

“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.”

I will admit yesterday was a setback, and I didn’t even have the heart to keep fighting for what I wanted. Madam Justice, I barely watch wrestling when it’s on TV, so why try stealing it by looking for streams. I could always pay, publish, or perchance do something else constructive, like reading. Playing works too as I advanced in Far Cry 5 last night. I finished The Widomaker and Valley Armed Convoy missions. Back to the point of today, though, to quote another movie. “If you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention.” Here I am Madam Justice, way before “Waking Up at 4:00 AM Every Day Will Change Your Life” I want it.

Rhyme or Crime, Fire and Desire, as the kids say, we want the smoke so, Want It, Work “Freaking” Harder.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 167 ~The Will To Urge~

WillLeave a comment

Well, I have no urge to celebrate Christmas as of yet and if anything, the call of sleep continues and nothing is stopping me but me and a bottle of water, a can of pink lemonade, a bunch of chips etc. “The Will To Urge”

Sunday, December 15, 2019

Log 167 ~The Will To Urge~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you have an urge to be so. The want, the wish, indeed man the will. Why else would you be up at this moment? You have every reason to stay in bed, the right, hell you rage. How does the poem go, rage, rage at the dying light, well more like the coming? Don’t start with the sexual innuendos, one more battle you lost this week. Okay, so we’ll get to that, but first, I want to talk about urges. Should we call it more, an addiction to the acceptance of an average life, ahh motivation?

Almost there you urge, like last night playing Far Cry 5. You almost made it to that bridge, or to that ranch. You nearly bought your mom a present or purchased the right NaNoWriMo T-shirt. How close were you to finishing “Accidental Santa” but decided to play on your phone? In your life, FEAR is the second most urgent thing. We go again with Far Cry 5. Fearing to lose, so what happens? You make yourself sick with it every day. Hell, if fear wasn’t there, I don’t think you would know what to do with yourself ever. If you want to know your number one urge, though, you need only look to the Marquis de Sade. Now that’s a name you haven’t thought about in a while though you took his title. How dare you compare your horniness to such genius as it keeps you from Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
    Completed

Perhaps I stand corrected, but a 34 is still an F, the last I knew.

Still, it beats a flat out zero, and I could have finished #4 if it wasn’t for the urge to sleep SIGH yesterday afternoon away. If I got more of it, though, #1 would not have been a problem. Honestly, I screwed you over with #1 last night checking out you know who rather than resting. These numbers are getting confusing, especially at this hour. Horny is one, Fear is two, but the urge to be STUPID. It’s always such an ugly word, but there it is, as “Weird Al” Yankovic sang, Dare to Be Stupid. Only I want you to tell me. Will do you have the urge to be wise? Not to be your life coach, but where’s the urge to win, conquer this week’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
  6. I AM Finishing The Book “Accidental Santa” By Celia Aaron

You’re better I know it, feel The Will To Urge.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 166 ~A Peace Of Will~

WillLeave a comment

Peace is not in my possessions, pants, or any person I‘m thinking about in any particular way and of course, my gaming habit is all about warfare and pushing a lot of buttons but pieces of life? A Peace Of Will

Saturday, December 14, 2019

Log 166 ~A Peace Of Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now, or why don’t you tell me when? It’s that time of the season or getting pretty close, you know Joy, Hope, Peace, maybe Live, Laugh, Love? Of course, I have a rule, # 13 Power Is All That Matters. I still stand behind it, Lady Lu. My favorite word must be SLEEP, and this morning, it was touch and go. The fight continues, and that’s the point today; it goes on and on. Yes, I’m trying to form a new habit, but I wish for Peace.

Far Cry 5 is the perfect example. What was it, only the year before I was all Detroit: Become Human and now my latest game. Anyway, I continue to advance, but here’s the thing, I don’t know-how, wow. I was playing last night fighting to take back Nick Rye’s plane, and all of a sudden, I’ve seized John Seed’s Ranch. When I went to liberate Fall’s End, the battle was over before I knew it, quickly enough. I was finding peace without even trying, now what about my life? Not even in my bed anymore. My pillow has become the enemy because there is too much work to be done. Now I go into the Day Job; that is no place for peace. Every day is not like a holiday, but more “You’ve Been Marked.” It’s the warning John gave.

Now, of course, I am reminded of Eric Thomas saying, “Sleep is for those people who are broke.” What time is it; he goes on to say, “you’re in a financial transition.” Well, I even saved money the other day though not by choice. R.I.P Red Lantern, why must all the places I like to eat, go out of business? Couldn’t I say the same thing about my budding writing career? What about my “modeling” hires or my search for a new maid. Those aren’t the reasons I’m losing sleep. Nope, I’m losing sleep because I want to live the dream of being a writer before going on to live a nightmare. Well, My Lady as I complain about sitting here fending off exhaustion while My Dæmon slumbers. The war, which is life, seems far.

Is this what they call Peace of Mind? Now that is what I’m seeking, and I believe all the money in the world would bring? Priorities A Peace Of Will

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hlxlX0_fTE

I Will Have No Fear