Episode 229 ~Will, Nope, B’s Daddy~

Why so down on myself today, a failure at most things in my life but then the ball of fluff has turned fourteen, as the priest exclaimed art thou happy or as Michelle Branch sang, are you happy now, the odds of seeing her boobs? Will, Nope, B’s Daddy

Friday, February 15, 2019

Episode 229 ~Will, Nope, B’s Daddy~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, rewrite history, can I make math harder. Invest in bulletproof accessories sigh. The joys of education; my big three are not reading, writing and arithmetic though they should be. Only for me, it’s, stupid people, my looking stupid and honestly being stupid my dear Lady Sophia.

I got a taste of all three today but let’s start with the thought of using a pseudonym for my writing. I mean, all honesty it’s too late “Will’s Writings, Witticisms, And Wisdom.” Thank you Karen Marie Moning, Alessandra Torre, Pepper Winters, Ker Dukey, and K. Webster. What was I saying about reading, since I haven’t been doing much of it these days? As far as using a pseudonym for my novels? So people don’t know “what” I am, you can tell plenty about a man from his reading selections, Sir’s Salacious Studies? Now I’ve never read “The Circle” by Dave Eggers. (I saw the movie). Are there more depressing, dirtier, destructive words? Well, of course, there are though I’m still hesitant to say them because of my “great” name?

Because I’m a parent… I don’t think B III cares. He is getting too old for this “crap,” and so am I, but he still has his cute face. I still remember the day a man offered me $500.00, hell people have written checks of up to $900. I write again and again that Triple B IS MY SON and at the same time he protects me. Will can’t do anything but B III’s Daddy will do anything. My actions more than back that up which is one more reason I’m writing late. I know Lady Sophia, take responsibility like S Wolf, Todd Michaels, or Vladimir Nabokov. There’s a reason I forget male “sex” writers, but they’re braver than me.

Smarter considering what women can say about a man. In most of my stories, a woman ends up spreading her legs. Of course, I’m a breast man, and I want to write novels about this. Worse because how much did I pay the MILF again and now I want to join a Patreon only to see some girl’s boobs. A crime and I was thinking of the MILF, the Cosplayer, two of my friends are all victims of sexual crimes. Hence my “attraction.” Makes me sound horrible right, victim-hood and innocence being a turn on. The thing is none of these people hide, not even M. Night Shyamalan so why can’t I be me. People are stupid, I looked in the mirror and saw it, and I failed a Spanish class and French so, in English. Will is scary, Will is skeevy, and Will is Stupid; Will, Nope, B’s Daddy.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 222 ~Will Call You Later~

I use my phone for everything but calls, and when it does ring, it’s always bad news and when I have to call… well, I can’t say I’m any different, but there’s still tomorrow isn’t there but if I could call someone? Will Call You Later.

Friday, February 8, 2019

Episode 222 ~Will Call You Later~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, if all of my characters chipped in a dollar; well, probably more than that, and what about my “loves” and I am a little down on myself about losing “it” again thinking of one pretty lady in particular unlike the two in my blog last night.

As always there’s someone to call for stressing me out, whether intentional like my “father” or people that don’t know they’re doing it, like the man that came out to treat for termites. It’s my neighbors that I might have to wave to, and you know that I want children “two-legged ones” someday but that doesn’t mean I have a clue how to deal with them, I almost had a heart attack as B III’s leash got stuck on his collar. As for being trapped, the day job; it’s like being in room 1408 even if you leave, you never do, seven years of my life and that’s the thing, institutionalized maybe, what are my motivations always saying, when you want to “succeed” as much as you want that next breath, well there you go.

So I keep telling my characters that I’ll call them, today, maybe tomorrow, do you ever think that they could be out there and as a writer, a god you stop talking to them and what happens next. What about the Future Wife, Dirty Diana, whatever girl I was writing poetry about at any given time, remember my LSD Tirade with the Winx Club, before they got the black one? The fantasies, wealth, women, and the world will have to wait until I get up off my behind won’t they because in reality when the phone rings I either don’t pick up, dad, or the day job, what about the dumb spammers, one more worry.

Only I don’t worry about that man in the mirror that I’ve been staring at more and more since I caught sight of my teeth, sometimes I even forget I don’t want to answer anybody but especially not him. How about Triple B, when it’s not dark outside, and he’s ready to go out, five more minutes, another hour, one more day… no siblings, no mom, only a dad who’s ears are too filled with motivations, my promises, and monsters. Too many, I can’t hear the call of the man I should be, the woman that wants me, or whatever that force is I pray to, to protect my little boy but every now and again something does get through… maybe Will Call You Later.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 215 ~Forty, William To Will~

All it takes to motivate me, sleep, sex, or a speech and that also explains why I’m not writing, and at this rate, I’ll never make it to forty but then what’s my age again… does it matter to the man in the mirror? Forty, William To Will, but not yet.

Friday, February 1, 2019

Episode 215 ~Forty, William To Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, forget who you are; can’t say I have ever seen myself as an actor, I don’t use a pen name, I have nothing but respect for porn stars but “Willie Long Stroke” will probably never see the light of day, and B III is camera shy. We are who we choose to be, but the thing is I feel sort of like a transformer instead of one that should constantly “EVOL” if you spell that backward you get love but anyway it’s like every day I forget who I am to be either worse or what others expect and then you.

I need you to remind me of whoever; leave it to a man to want to know what he looks like through a woman’s eyes… in touch with his feminine side, someone said about Todd Chrisley. Make no mistake Lady Sophia, I would fuck the Hell out of Savannah Chrisley (watch your language) needed to get some manhood points back after this morning finally losing my “No Fap” streak after forty days. All it took was Court Carmody, my MILF pornstar, Savannah Chrisley, Ellen Page, and Sabrina Nichole; can’t say I’m not equal opportunity pervert.

A man can say more with a woman on his arm than anything but god I love writing, and so you ask me Lady Sophia why I’m not doing it more often, why don’t I FOCUS… hell, I need to write a list of words like that. No, I would rather listen, if you asked me did my father ever give me any sage advice then the answer is no, but I spend my days on Spotify getting MOTIVATED by Eric Thomas, Tom Bilyeu, Fearless Motivation. On Youtube I see videos of Greg Plitt, Will Smith; I read Dennis Hof and how I am trying to finish Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, never too old to stop learning, a plethora of dirty things made so dull.

Something I never want to be, BORING, AVERAGE, a TRYER and I’m possibly that much worse Lady Sophia but mostly I’m EXHAUSTED, and as the song goes, It Doesn’t Matter, but here we are having wasted another day. In a little more than five years I will be forty, and if I live that long I can’t only be Will, I refuse, but I see a better man slipping away daily, Forty, William To Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 208 ~Willing Of The Story~

The hero of your story, a motivation of mine mentions that but when’s the last time I wrote anything of value, and though I’m not reading such and such, some words that can’t be forgotten the man I was. “Willing Of The Story”

Friday, January 25, 2019

Episode 208 ~Willing Of The Story~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, now that’s a story I plan on hearing one of these days, how about writing, hell I want a movie deal, I even wrote a bit of a synopsis years ago, not for the money but more ghost in the machine, a twist on Love Machine. Not exactly an original tale, computers in love with girls or guys in love with computers, can’t say I even like the one in my head now… my brain, this morning I was reminded of the story that brought me back to my writing sadly.

Honestly, I don’t care to relive that tale, but ideas hit like that sometime; I’m sure I told you that books are potent weapons and what are we writers… arms dealers that fill up armories known as libraries. Authoritarian regimes that seek to rewrite the world in our image, that wish to rule so many souls, even if it is only the one within us, to burn the world to cinders and yet have a history of it. Almighty gods, all-powerful beings become both prince and pauper, at the end of ballpoint pens, chutes of paper, and the dick (Language yes I know) what inspires my wanton whims these days.

Villain am I none, or so I would like to believe, I didn’t fuck up at work (stop swearing), I didn’t waste another day away… a tossup between the MILF, “reading” Lolita, and watching Far Cry 5, and seeing the world descend into the Land Of Confusion. Will, the force of, the power of, iron and hell it’s not even my complete name, yeah I don’t feel so good, one of my olds is coming over and let me say that I have a case of the willies that I can’t shake for anything. XXX films aren’t helping but who says they can’t write a decent story, take erotica for example; what inspires a man to enslave the ideology, identities, and insanity of the world only to become a slave, senseless, sanity ridden, so and so in mere seconds truthfully?

That isn’t to say writers can’t be heroes, only can you call yourself that when you’re attempting to save yourself, yeah plenty of books help people, I had a self-help phase once upon a time, long forgotten unless you count my studies of Solanum. One more reason I’m a writer maybe, better to be on the cover than anywhere else because a long time ago ha I was a villain Sophia, Willing Of The Story.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 089 ~Will Say, Won’t Write~

Don’t make me say it when all I want to do is sleep or any other way I choose to waste time, and then I write about the simplest things because the fiction never leads to the dream or better the reality. Will Say, Won’t Write

Friday, September 28, 2018

Episode 089 ~Will Say, Won’t Write~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How to make One Million Dollars, sharing all my secrets might do the trick, but with one year and nearly three months there is still so much left to confess, let’s hope no one ever asks for an FBI investigation, but you don’t need politics to establish power. The power of a word if I have learned anything this week, so that makes me feel sort of sad on this quest of having one million dollars in a year, well eleven months.

September is a crappy month anyway, and you have probably guessed why but I don’t want to say the words; honestly, it hurts so damn much, but again this week others have shown the courage that I lack. Not that I’m a survivor of sexual assault, now multiple suicide attempts, where do I begin, sleeping pills, painkillers, starvation, dehydration, And The Beat Goes On. Somethings I would never say out loud that I don’t mind bleeding on the page, but as I have said before, there are such things that I continue to let poison me despite my fictional sins.

Take yesterday how I have said I’ll talk about my ravishment fantasy… I have liked bondage since I first discovered sex, but I was never one for ropes and leather… whips possibly and when I came to understand ravishment and that it could be done Safe, Sane, Consensual… Back to my suicide attempts, I never wrote a letter, and I thought I was somewhat lazy, but how do I explain why I would do such a thing, hell knowing my parents they would never reveal the letter or worse they would change it. At this stage in the game, I will never write my signature in one of my books; I won’t ever give some girl my room number in a five-star hotel, how about a proper NDA agreement maybe?

Excuses though, if only they were so hard to write then, I would have time for everything else, today though on top of that there was a shopping list, a budget, so many texts, and great to see that McDonald’s Quarter Pounder with Cheese is living up to the hype. You see Lady Sophia it is that type of small talk that infuriates me but I can’t speak the truth and all those things that I want to say, that I wish to make so real Will Say, Won’t Write.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 064 ~You Vote With Your Crotch~

When I was voting for a president that was easy and sad, between blondes and brunettes, kiss or kill, money and everything else, what story I’m going to write next, will I ever get the opportunity at this rate? “Vote With Your Crotch.”

Monday, September 3, 2018

Episode 064 ~You Vote With Your Crotch~

Forty-Eighth Rule Madam Justice

Give Me One Reason, to fight my biology, the Chemical impulses, or the denial of fate, especially at this stage of the game, I haven’t known such fear since hmm… cops burst down my father’s door years ago; I nearly lost my job because of some bitch. How about the first time I saw Little Lupe, I visited Motherless.com, and now Pinterest again, hell if I’m still here Wednesday I might tell you all about it but now Co-Ed Confidential.

“At 4 1/2 months old, a human fetus has a reptile’s tail; a remnant of our evolution. Maybe that’s what I couldn’t escape. You can fight a lot of enemies and survive. But if you fight your biology, you will always lose.” Lord Of War

You’ll have to forgive me if I can’t get the quote word for word but James from Co-Ed Confidential (porn series) talks about how your head can become confused, your gut can do so many things, your heart, how it’s broken but your crotch well… points the way. I didn’t say the right direction but somewhere wanted, hell it’s how you get Trump in the White House, a guy sleeps with pornstars, the Catholic church, and its horrors, and a Pastor gropes Ariana Grande. Meanwhile all day I’ve felt utterly terrified, and it will probably be worse tomorrow, today being a holiday and all, I still remember when I got sent to an “alternative school” for my “wanting” of violence; honestly the lesser of two evils Madam Justice I’m saying.

“I believe in consequences.

No, you believe in guilt.

Maybe. But guilt, before we act, is called morality.” Liberal Arts

What about wrestling, I’ve seen Charlotte Flair naked, but I still root for Becky Lynch for wanting to kick her ass because I believe that’s fair, now why can’t that be the same for other women, for other decisions in my life. Something beautiful can stop a lot of destruction and then again it’s beauty that can cause the same annihilation and then you know what they say about an eye for an eye. Atom Bomb Baby, so if wanting madness and mayhem makes me question Am I A Psycho and a beautiful woman makes me a creeper what else is there? Power for power but what leads to this and that Justice is MONEY.

“An eye for an eye and the world goes blind.”

“In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king” (Mixed and different sources)

So if this rule has landed me in such hot water, why don’t I ignore it; because before there was money, when love was not a concept, when feeding your belly and standing tall was all there was, and getting your head caved in well… there was flesh, and that guides everything. Now if I told you that money was all there was for me what would you say, which is worse; the want of death, of life, of all things material, even wanting to be a better man, every single day we vote, how so, Vote With Your Crotch.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 057 ~Your Wish, Is Their Command~

Written and done, spoken and accomplished, if I were going to open my mouth, I would want to be one giving all kinds of orders, but there is a reason I am not the boss of a lot of things and people. Your Wish Is Their Command

Monday, August 27, 2018

Episode 057 ~Your Wish, Is Their Command~

Forty-Seventh Rule Madam Justice

Give Me One Reason to pray, to wish, to write letters to Santa and then I talk about having no faith in the human race. I include myself in that. Then again people have rarely treated me as though I deserve such consideration. To be honest, since I have known treatment less than a man. Is it any wonder that I want to be more than one? I’m sure all fictional writers have looked at themselves as so much the better. After all, we create our universes and lives, right?

I suppose that’s where it started with me. Of course, you know what type of women inspire my female characters. What of the man who inspires most of my male protagonists? The things I want and the things I can never do. Now, this is more of a discussion for Lady Sophia. Once we enter the real world why is it that I need to trick people into buying books. I could point out authors like J.K. Rowling who knew rejection or E.L. James who people hated. Over fifty million copies and that was only one book. I don’t ask people for anything, and I don’t know what I even intended with my novel, but I do want readers and fans. Hell, I would take the infamy of Marquis de Sade, scary don’t you think?

Speaking of which I’ve talked about control and sex… well, I am dominant. People say sex is all about power, and that’s valid. Also again a chat for Dirty Diana, but these rules speak to the different facets of my life. My little man only has four, don’t crap in the house, don’t steal, when I call he shows, and don’t bite the hand that feeds you. People breed complications, yet if I have to condense all my rules down to one, well. I should start with myself; I wish I could be the man I want to be; could I demand that from myself.

Power is all that matters. Haven’t I said that before, talk about love, money, sex, whatever all these are only the forms that it takes. And whatever your poison the idea that my word is law *sigh*. So simple the thought and I can’t help it. Whether it’s over the mob, the world, a love, or yourself. The power to have all that I could desire Madam Justice in life, Your Wish Is Their Command.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 050 ~Winners Do Whatever They Want~

Today was not a winning day, how I have dreamed a dream for hours on end but I’m only now getting to writing and not on my book mind you though I did accomplish one goal today. Winners Do Whatever They Want, but I’m not there yet.

Monday, August 20, 2018

Episode 050 ~Winners Do Whatever They Want~

Forty-Sixth Rule Madam Justice

Give Me One Reason I didn’t go to prom, besides not having a date, almost scared to death, or not believing in anything. Talk about faith, “that’s a pretty bad way to start a conversation” as Kanye West would say. What about people who aren’t winning anymore and the things I do win? I’ve never seen that movie “Eighth Grade” (thank you Regal Cinemas), but I know all about winning the QUIETEST Award. No thanks.

“Okay,” asked me about fearing success, or does my discovery scare me. I suppose it depends on how I see being a winner, and that to me equals, having the money, the power, and then the women. Typical black man Scarface logic. I was thinking about my Pinterest boards again, particularly Future Freaky Females. Yeah if I were anybody else, I would hate me. Such are fantasies, and the girls I never had. What of dreams, there was the one last night; my dream girls are always changing. When has the end of the world ever been winning? Why I still write all about it.

Anyway, I was with this girl, and we were hiding from something, and for the life of me, I can’t identify her. Other than the fact she had slight curves, a brunette or dark redhead, and she wore a short black dress. For what I know it could be Megan Fox (okay black hair) but black lingerie, this girl I used to know. Sandra Luberc, Chelsea From Casting Couch HD or this Milf that’s had me edging today. It’s like that song “When Somebody Loves You Back” that’s winning. Didn’t I say yesterday that love isn’t a prize and I don’t love those I named? Actresses, friends and enemies and I could go add on.

“To never die… And to conquer all. That is winning.”

Now my search for power leads me to this conclusion from Illyria. If there is any group that understands this, it is writers. Immortality and the few that continue to make us look like rank amateurs. If it’s love, I have my son but how much does he understand me? I would never hurt him… well, his feelings but how about my species my Justice?

I win, and somebody else has to lose, and it’s like the phrase “Just Kidding” if we’re both not laughing then it’s not funny. I read somewhere it’s not lonely at the top if you pull someone up with you. One day if I win I’ll have more time because Winners Do Whatever They Want.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 036 ~ Remember This Is Your Creation~

Can I do better, considering I have three different worlds to live with, my writing, dealing with people, and wanting a blessed life for my dog, I’m busy but what will I create today? Remember This Is Your Creation.

Monday, August 6, 2018

Episode 036 ~ Remember This Is Your Creation~

Forty-Fourth Rule Madam Justice

Give Me One Reason and shall introduce you to my insanity, all of my writing, the little dog sleeping on my leg, my life, I wish I knew when somebody gave me the pencil and said get to work. Oh yeah, when I was a little kid and still I can’t help feeling like a child because every single time I say something I’m wrong, I wonder what my son honestly thinks about me, how much do I own outright and if that ain’t the American way my Madam Justice?

I’ve said this before that I don’t like using the word home because this isn’t my place and again I’m supposed to be grown, and yes home is where yadda, yadda, yadda but then what about my novel? Yeah, my characters are from all walks of life including myself, I’m always attempting to create another version of myself, and I can’t say I’m the best guy but what Alexa Bliss, Angie Griffin, Amber Hahn, Detroit: Become Human, to name a few. The new world comes into being upon the ashes of the old one, either if I’m burning my eye sockets from the screen, the ever-present glow, or wrapped up nice and toasty warm in my bed someday I think.

Speaking of ashes what about the mess, that’s what I’m good at, and the house isn’t looking too well with my exhaustion, but that’s what happens when you begin attempting to build something great. What about the fact that I want more kids, right now it’s my little boy and me. Creating, though I love my dog like pancakes only what about my life, again with the motivation, wanting to eat healthier, get my mind clearer. Feel Like Makin’ Love but It Takes Two that Madam Justice is creation, even God gave Adam his Eve okay maybe not a good example but do you blame the hand or the tools and no we are not getting into a discussion about the broke NRA, good news.

Creation, Madam Justice is a holy mission thus power, and how you know I want power above everything else, okay maybe not sleep but the dreams I create, not today though, no I experienced a terrible nightmare, but I did figure out what to tell Dear Future Wife and Dirty Diana. That is if I can hold onto to the blog you know the day is coming and strangely enough, rather than get my PS4 I want to save it, my brain, my ideas, soul… Remember This Is Your Creation.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 359 ~ The Force Is With You~

We see what we wish, you can’t see air, but I still breathe right, they use the same argument for God; I’m not looking for breaths or it, I’m looking for is power, whatever it is that makes people move, myself included. “The Force Is With You”

Monday, June 25, 2018

Lesson 359 ~ The Force Is With You~

Thirty-Eighth Rule Madam Justice

Can You Love Me Again, because despite all this hate and everything else love continues to exist and no I don’t believe love is “The Force” it is not one emotion or even several, it is something much more? According to Star Wars which I am an avid fan of The Force is an energy field that connects all living things and is generated by living entities… I believe that more than any God.

I am not a religious man though I did have a period in my life when I sought out God though I mistook that for what I truly desired and that Madam Justice is power in all forms though there are some I value higher than others. “Indiana Gone” and “Okay” might argue that I favor “The Light Side” goodness, knowledge, empathy, compassion, but hatred, fear, anger, desire is more of “The Dark Side,” and I can’t avoid it. Last night was an example, I was so tired, but it was lusting for something, rather than love for myself that kept me going a while.

It all comes down to energy and mine is at its highest levels when I feel hate, when I’m hot as Hell, have you ever been afraid Madam Justice, that is the force being with you, and while fear can be a weakness considering how long I have survived it can be a fantastic strength. The same might know acknowledgment for sex, that desire can infuse you with such power always to do what you wish regardless of anything else; it gives you what it takes to win. In a word, FIRE, sometimes it warms you, you can use it to burn others, it may even consume you, but every fire needs something to keep it going, when you’re all alone it takes little, in the darkness you need the light, and when fire surrounds you, either blend in or shine brighter than ever before.

“If you want to take the island you need to burn the boats.” —Tony Robbins

Now as I said, I am not a man of faith but do you want to know what The Force is, to me it’s getting up every morning and doing this for damn near a year, writing every day and for what? With everything that has happened, it is something that says this can be different; I do not want to live this way, I do not have to die this way, not if I am with The Force and The Force is with me Madam Justice, I must remember The Force Is With You.

“I’m one with the Force, and the Force is with me.” Chirrut Îmwe, Rogue One

I Will Have No Fear