Tag: Problems

Saga 101 ~To Find, Learn To Hide~

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I call myself an open book, but I rarely find someone like Braxton, his aunt, etc. And still, I had to hide. I hate the mirror. Or turning a corner in my mind and finding… the illogical, illegal, impossible, and insane. “To Find, Learn To Hide.”

Monday, October 10, 2022

Saga 101 ~To Find, Learn To Hide~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-First Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. And while I’d hide my cash in some underground vault, I’d flaunt it everywhere… Hoodies and jeans.

Hell! I’m like Linus van Pelt from Peanuts. He has his blanket, and I have a hoody, well, several, Madam. I know you’re not Inspector E, so this is no confession. It’s a simple fact. Something else I don’t hide and need not find, like the death of my boy. No, even if it cost me “friends.” I’ll continue to bring up Braxton. I’ve never been one to hide grief. But I do wonder how other people do it. Drugs? By the time you’re reading this, I’ll be off meds. So once again, I’m Time Travelling. Um, it’s Wednesday, October 5, 2022. And being sick? Am I still hiding from it? Have I been cured? And the day in general?

I’m always hiding from the horrors of the day in question. I don’t ever want to find myself back here ever again. Like the song goes, “I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.” I’ve hidden the last good day I ever had so far down I’ll never find it. An impossible thing. Yes, you’re not the Man in the Mirror. Am I hiding from you today? I do apologize for that. I don’t know if you’re helping me or not. I tend to hide from positivity… “Unforgettable, that’s what you are?” Like all my other dreams of writing and of success. I read and listen to many books, yet I can’t find knowledge to save me. I’m buried in STUPID, to be honest. Such is my rage.

I told Inspector Echo today that I tried to put myself in the ground on occasion. The best way to hide from the world is to become part of it. This mind I have won’t let me. And the Sunday before last, this body demanded I do something. I couldn’t hide from the pain anymore. But I don’t want to be found, Madam. If anything, I want to find Braxton. Reincarnation yet again? Where is Virgil? I’m hiding from him, or he’s hiding from me? I’m not sure, Madam. I want to hide from everything. And the things I’m finding… nothing good, Madam. A Republican tendency, hide the good and the bad and get ugly. Sick of hide and seek? To Find, Learn To Hide

617 Days Without B III, Day 058 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 094 ~Evil Prevails Despite Good People~

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I can’t say I see good people daily. I know I’m no damn good despite those 2 “things” at Petsmart. Adopting Virgil and running out to a lady that forgot a bag. No earthly good at all. With what I see. Evil Prevails Despite Good People.

Monday, October 3, 2022

Saga 094 ~Evil Prevails Despite Good People~

Two-Hundred and Sixtieth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m not a good person. Well, at least all the billionaires I know are evil.

Which isn’t to say the poor can’t be evil. I’d still be me even if I didn’t have a dime to my name. Yes, I’m saying I’m broke and evil. As far as being a better person. I miss Braxton. Here come the tears today, Tuesday, September 27, 2022. “Make Me Wanna Die,” or instead cry, as I doubt I didn’t wake up in Hell. Well, a part of it anyway. Then there’s V. Madam; I want to do right by him, I swear. Yet I’ve said why he got his name, Virgil. He’s a good boy, a good man considering he’s going on two in October. Did I mention how much I hate paperwork? It told me his age and everything. Braxton being reincarnated…

Anyway, his name yet again. Virgil for the man who led Dante through the Inferno. Vivi, for the black mage child who stood against evil in Final Fantasy IX. Pornography? Madam, that’s how easy it is. I think Final Fantasy and then, well… If I had a dollar for every piece of Final Fantasy XXX I own. Oh, and it gets worse if we talk about other games. In case you’re wondering why I’m so late finishing this conversation today. Two words Madam, NERDY GIRLS. Wondering what I’ll tell the PERV in the Mirror Sunday. I hope it’s not that I wasted more money. No matter where the cash goes at the end of the day, I’m afraid that the evil I am will remain.

For good people like Braxton’s Aunt and M Anime, I can’t fault Cherry for not wanting to bring more children into this world. Then I turn back to Little Virgil on his pillow. Well, one of Braxton’s anyway. I know good people but dogs are the best for sure. Hell! This entire existence is based on the idea if I ever had enough money, power, and women, I could be a good man. How many times have I said fatherhood is the epitome of manhood? But again, I know fathers, and I know billionaires. It doesn’t make you good. FEAR Madam. The truth, like Braxton, the thought of living without it… Just be less evil… I can try because, Madam. Evil Prevails Despite Good People

610 Days Without B III, Day 051 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 054 ~Be Something They Can’t Solve~

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Is it still morning? I’ve had a few revelations since the beginning and the ending of this conversation, so I won’t complain. Why won’t I, though; I’m pretty complicated or so everyone thinks. “Be Something They Can’t Solve.”

Monday, August 24, 2020

Gospel 054 ~Be Something They Can’t Solve~

Hundred And Fifty-First Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and THEY all ask how? Here’s a question for you; since when did I become THEY? In all honesty, I’m wondering how I’m even awake or fighting all my “primal” urges from one moment to the next.

Nobody Knows, THEY Don’t Know, please stop me, Madam Justice, before I turn into another Spotify channel. Okay, one more, “be a simple kind of man.” I wish I was. When did I become so Complicated? I’m Hot N Cold.

It’s having to lie. I’ve told you before that I can’t stand to liars or to lie. It’s like smoking, I suppose, you feel good, but at the end of the day, you’re killing yourself. Hell, we’re all dying, but there’s no rush, or I don’t want it to be… well not today anyway. It’s why we create the mystery, but I’m not at all.

I say I want to be something they can’t solve, but every day I’m right here. I’m like one of those Playboy sheets of turn-ons and turn-offs. The answer is right before their faces, but they don’t want to accept the truth of me. Does the same go for me? When I was still talking to MILF Tres, she told me things and then me and my big mouth. Maybe I didn’t hear it correctly with MILF Uno, and again I answered wrong. As with MILF Dos, I talked too damn much, I should have waited to see her Yabbos again and just shut up.

See that right there. I love Yabbos, I like books. Usually erotica or YA with a pretty heroine. You know I’m not one for swearing every single breath. Except for the beautiful Irish Youtuber Katie O’Shaughnessy. I have no qualms about violence, but I hate the NRA, and I even own a gun. So why is everyone trying to figure me out? Of course, there is my friend who says I give myself far too much credit. Yes, my PRIDE.

I’m a fan of all seven sins, though my favorite will always be LUST thank you, Ker Dukey. I’ve read four of her books actually, and I’m only finding that out now. Besides my discoveries, there are the things I have to hide always because if people did know everything…

I’m a black man in America, cages are used as easy answers for my “kind.” Be Something They Can’t Solve

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 162 ~Pain Is Tomorrow’s Problem~

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Whatever doesn’t kill you is likely to try again, and it will face someone far stronger, smarter, and sinful; today I should be having fun, trying to take over the world, you know whatever comes up. Pain Is Tomorrow’s Problem from now on I hope.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Lesson 162 ~Pain Is Tomorrow’s Problem~

To Will:
No Fear because that is something we are giving to tomorrow, it’s like I was telling our dear Lady Lu, if there is no tomorrow then why not put everything there and enjoy today. Look you’re already up, with book review ready; should have been done yesterday, you see, pain, problems, and the past must find their way to tomorrow and if you see it just keep passing it on, is that healthy?

Well, you have as Rick Grimes put it stuff and things to do, why not make that goal, find what you want to do rather than what you half to do because we know that tomorrow is going to suck. Hell, today might be awful but if we are going back to the five minutes before the world ends scenario why not make it a good five minutes, I know you can go much longer than that my friend. It’s now about three weeks and other than the pain yesterday that had you laid up, you’re not doing that again because that’s tomorrow’s mistake waiting.

From now instead of running from yesterday and even today, let everything that scares you, hurts you, tries to kill you be waiting and today you just have to get stronger, be better prepared, let yourself enjoy. I know despite all that you’re worried about The Walking Dead, but that should be the worst of it because tomorrow is coming regardless and it will still be ahead of you, fear should be running. For now, you’re not in any real pain, you’re getting shit done, you’re learning, and while terror perhaps will always be your greatest enemy the fact that you’re up and about healthy is a reason to be grateful remember that, being thankful.

I don’t mean to get religious on you or anything but remember how you felt last night, how old you are how much time you’ve wasted, hell did you have a bit of backbone with the manager. If you’re standing, if you’re breathing, fight, and let the pain and blood be there tomorrow as a testament to that, I can’t seem to stress that enough.

Today you write, work on a character, get those reviews up, take a shower, you know you need it and let the pain go, let it run smackdab into tomorrow because Pain Is Tomorrow’s Problem.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 088 ~What Validates A Problem~

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Bask in the glory, of all our problems as the song goes but what are we crying about because there is someone that always has it worse and we’re being selfish? “What Validates A Problem”, is this yet something else I can’t answer?

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Lesson 088 ~What Validates A Problem~

Hey Lady Lu
No Fear but an answer to a question, how do you solve a problem, I mean any problem in this big wonderful world of ours and I answer, create a bigger problem.

I was talking to “M Anime” today and I feel really bad because I consider her a friend and she feels really bad for considering herself instead of others. Now why do we do that, we’re not allowed to feel bad because other people feel worse, what sort of world is it when we can’t even own what selfishness, I can’t worry about me because I have to worry about you? Don’t get me wrong, she’s dealing with something serious, her family is in Puerto Rico, but she can’t worry about her job because she has to worry about her family but is her worries no longer valid… problem solved.

How about those of us who are the problem, someone considered me a problem and then there was a hurricane and needless to say someone might have bigger problems which in turn solved my problem as well. If anything President Trump is a master at this, have one problem and then try to play the hero, but what happens when you cut off a hydra’s head? The only question is which head is worse, all of them are the same, all of us are equal so why can’t all our worries, concerns, and troubles, be ours without feeling bad honestly?

Then there are the problems we know we have, addictions, phobias, mental, physical, financial, anything and everything and we simply turn our backs on them, because we don’t want our problems we want someone else’s, we fail and that’s on them. If you asked me right now my three biggest problems I’d say swearing off any sexual activity, always worrying about my job, and seeing that Braxton is always looked after. Maybe that’s sort of what my novel was for, create a big problem for some future date so I don’t have to worry about the present to be sure.

Back in school, I would just write math problems, again and again, never having a solution and then I had bigger problems, my father beating my ass, failure, summer school… So what have I learned today, the more things change, the more they stay the same, a problem is a problem regardless of size, sometimes solutions fall out of the sky *shudders*, every single one of us Lady Luna, we are What Validates A Problem.

“Don’t make the mistake of calling what’s inside me worry. Good men worry. Men like me take care of the problem.” Noah Lennox, Beyond Series

I Will Have No Fear