Sunday, July 9, 2017

Lessons 008 ~Tail, Tale, Tell~

Lu,
I hate that I keep repeating myself, my apologies but from a former lesson, hat is the difference between a patriot and a terrorist, a hero and a villain… the winning side of course. For some reason, I just imagine Superman with some goofy smile on his face but then you got Batman, who is as much of a hero but doesn’t smile that often.

What about the measure of a man or a woman; I’ve brought up my face often but I can be as shallow as anybody else. Now I think of myself as a certain type of guy (Ned Flanders Blackout Continues) anyway I think of myself as one way but I saw someone in the store today and the back made me curious about the front. It made me wonder what people must see when they are looking at my back, really is the view any better or worse, damn eye doctors and their catchy jargon.

How about the way guys say “getting some tail” is that too skeevy; to be honest I have never used that lexicon myself. Doesn’t that say something about the thing that leads humanity, primal nature and all that, we are always looking for something to follow isn’t that right? I don’t think that’s any better than not looking back, forward is just somebody else and behind is just whoever I was or somebody in a worse shape, but trying maybe.

“But that’s why there’s us – champions. Doesn’t matter where we come from, what we’ve done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world is as it should be, to show it what it can be. You’re not a part of that yet. I hope you will be.” Angel S401 “Deep Down” (2002)

No truer words Luna, this is why we raise people to such heights, indeed this is why there was such an intuition as “courtly love” but does that not fly in the face of everything I was taught? In another way, the question remains, what happens when that uniform off in the distance, isn’t that of the hero but of the villain, and we follow.

If I heard it right all the fairy tales of yesteryear were actually horror stories, so why were they changed, erased, new stories replaced them, a form of newspeak? We just can’t help it, it’s one of the reasons I can’t help but look back, in a way I don’t like who I am becoming and as they say, you can’t know where you’re going until you know where you’ve been, rock meet hard place.

Like some little kid, there are the fairy tales I get lost in every night before bed, not that you can call, “Saints Row”, “GTA” and “The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time” fairytales mind you. At least these stories can be rewritten and there is no real damage, becoming someone else over and over is the luxury. The honest to God stories of my past make me I feel as though I’m Winston Smith and with that being said nobody will remember the truth of him either or that he ever existed at all.

Yes, back to the incident, I can easily say that while I had ulterior motives I really was innocent and didn’t mean any harm when it came to her. It can be said that I was skeevy and inappropriate and way out of line and that guy I haven’t really been trying to escape from finally caught up with me in the end. I can also say my anger is justified and that if I was anybody else from another place, time, or story this would in itself be a whole other story I know.

“Truth is singular. Its “versions” are mistruths.” Cloud Atlas (2012)

Only by piecing together the story of a past can I even begin to start and write the present and dream of what may become the story of my future. This is one of the reasons I turned to you Lady Lu, all those years ago and I turn to you now, and while I don’t lie I edit things.

Isn’t that the right of the storyteller though, I mean this isn’t Fox News or anything, facts are important here but my truth, will not be hers, yours, or anybody else’s that happens to read these words *crickets chirping*. The teller must put a part of themselves in the telling and that part is what is most important to them will define the story as well as themselves… why does this remind me of “Gabrielle” from Xena Warrior Princess, classic?

At this point Luna I might as well be doing this for me but that’s the thing, I have no clue what I’m doing and when I finally realize who knows if I will want to, what be 100% honest like the good ole days, weave lust like a paintbrush and the like? I don’t think their ready yet, how could anybody be ready for what’s to come, I didn’t get to work on my novel today, but it’s coming along. When that day comes though… see I can’t even imagine it yet, just another chapter that has not been written but it will be.

For now, other than you and somebody else there is no one to tell, strangely enough, it has been my past pains that have earned me the most acclaim as of late. Today these words just came to me and they flow, though I don’t know if this is a lake or a cesspool and we both remember the disgust in those days. I think that is what this is all about, the need to be honest and you can’t do that looking at someone’s back not knowing, but such and such brunette has my guts all twisted up, sometimes you’re better off having them turn their back on you.

One day Luna I want to be the dad that tells his children stories but of course, they won’t be my own, but I will give them heroes or at least intelligent villains. Until I’m feeling up to it, no tail to chase, plenty of tales to explore and no one to tell them too, not yet Tail, Tale, Tell.