Tag: Women

Episode 263 ~Your French Girls Will~

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I have had so many muses, from A to B and they have all been pretty and wrong for me, and if it isn’t one bodily fluid, it’s another, sex and horror as Frankie Goes to Hollywood put it. Where’s an iceberg when I need it? Your French Girls Will

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Episode 263 ~Your French Girls Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, learn French and move to France. Hell if it worked for Benjamin Franklin, it would work for me. Only I failed French of course, too busy calling people “cowards.” What about that Time Machine construction seeing it’s Wednesday. Staying ahead?

Stories for another time but usually this is “sexy time…” How many references is that so far? The Last Dragon, Idiocracy, Katie O’Shaughnessy; so much to write Dirty Diana. Nevertheless aren’t I trying to be S Wolf, Todd Michaels, even the fictional Ian Anwell? Do you know what holy Hell it is to be surrounded by muses? In Ian’s case, he only had one but as for me? Yeah, I’m hitting that sweet spot between wanting to fuck Nonstop and being inspired. NaNoWriMo is coming up, and I have to be ready. At the moment I’m still thinking about “The Logos Girls.” Only Tuesday sigh it’s good I finally got my refund from Walmart. I have five words for you, “Eileen Kelly is in Playboy.”

Now if my video game antics have proven anything, it’s the fact that I love a good story. Give me a tale, and I would say I would give you my heart. No, more like my wallet as is the case of Eileen Kelly a.k.a KillerandaSweetThang. Why did I join Patreon again? Sure I wanted to see @courtscandyshop boobs. Just what made me sign on was getting into her head. Still, her story of abuse, assault, and a man’s amorality, turned me on. Fucked up for sure but no less so than most of the erotica I read. Except that’s fiction, I want a girl for body, breakability, and brains. However, this order is depending on the day and mood.

How many days has it been since Brainbuddy? As I said it’s almost time for some real writing. Only if I’m not getting that done, I should be reading. I don’t mean looking up Hannah Harper’s work in Funny Boners (2002) and Kill For Thrills. My apologies to the pornographic MlLF. Oh and there’s Amilia Onyx and Whitney Wright. Except for Hannah, girls with dark hair sigh but I should be sticking to the black words on the page. What Jack was able to do with Rose (In Pictures) I want to learn how to do with words. To be fair though he got to know Rose “biblically.” Now that is a language we all learn. Though when I was young, I believed the French excelled at that. So Hannah is English, Katie is Irish, and then we have American girls. Still To All Of You (women in general) today I’m not sorry. If it’s not panties, ball gags, or cocks going in your mouth, I would only like to write about you in some way. So what’s your story? Like Your French Girls Will?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 262 ~Side Order Of Will~

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I feel like chicken tonight, or is that all I have in the fridge, I saw Chinese zodiac symbols once and maybe I would prefer to stay a rat, I always feel like a pest, but no my name is still on somebody’s tongue. “Side Order Of Will,” no thanks.

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Episode 262 ~Side Order Of Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, go hungry or more to the point of staying hungry. I’m still looking into the future, today’s the 15th, and I’m gearing up for Camp NaNoWriMo. Now, how embarrassing would it be if I didn’t accomplish this? Humiliating that I have all these ideas but nothing to write Inspector. So I’ll get the usual which is PORN. I would say Erotica, but I don’t want to lie or worse what if I take too long deciding. What if I can’t see anything, and you know my thoughts on right and wrong.

My mom taught me to never go to the grocery store on an empty stomach. She also taught me how to make tartar sauce, how to microwave cooked shrimp. Mom also introduced me to the Subway Buffalo Chicken. Funny I mention chicken because that’s my sin. The biggest one, this FEAR, COWARDICE, my transforming into a feathery fiend. One who sits down in a Chinese restaurant, afraid to speak up. Also, the gas station where some other guy makes the attendant notice me. Some people might find it gratifying when they visit “their” bar. Then are immediately recognized. Only then you go into Walmart, and the lady knows you’re there merely for the ranch wings?

I’m a creature of habit, routine, TRADITION. Only every day more like everything in my life, there is some girl I followed, and I can’t break free. The Red Lantern, that was Indiana Gone, Subway again was my mom. McDonald’s because I thought the girl liked me. How about Cherry who talks to me about “stalking?” I never have, but I never half-ass anything but my work sadly. If I know enough, then I can’t fail and if I ask; Twitter is still pending? Blocked on Facebook, knocked off Instagram I keep my mouth shut. Chicken’s aren’t meant to fly, and somebody will get pissed at me for saying this. Still those birds are on the list for a “feast,” and it’s eating me alive.

I’m sick of holding walls up, of waiting. I’m living that idiom of “you are what you eat,” or maybe having a cow man. I’m sure this week in the future I have, and I’ll be living the same way, won’t I?

For all of this I ask forgiveness, but again that’s tradition because it is something I’m not changing isn’t it. Like all those times I went without eating because I refused to live this way. Inspector Echo I’d starve before begging any day a Side Order Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 260 ~Don’t Mistake Stupidity For Courage~

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How I wish my courage had held today, all day long there were delusions of grandeur of being an “Adult Entertainment” Entrepreneur and if you think that’s “stupid” you should have seen me at the day job. Don’t Mistake Stupidity For Courage.

Monday, March 18, 2019

Episode 260 ~Don’t Mistake Stupidity For Courage~

Seventy-Sixth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, sell-out I’ll admit Madam Justice. If you told me I could have everything I wanted, monetarily speaking if I found God, I would. Make me a member of the 1% percent. I would be more paranoid than usual I bet. Leaving to go to the day job is the definition of stupidity for courage. I’m dealing with people I hate. All on the premise that I’m getting stronger… I’ve wilted more in that place.

Much like Happiness, Love, and Life, COURAGE is something I can’t find. Only STUPIDITY much like yesterday. (The 13th Wednesday, staying ahead of this horrible week). I’m not going to lie Madam Justice. I spent all that money because I wanted to feel better. I do want to take up gaming again, and a pretty girl. Hell, most of my idiocy stems from Beautiful Girls. Yes I know I keep repeating myself. Butterfree blocked, Brazzers skeevy, and I can do worse. If I had to guess today at the day job you stood your ground as best you could. You endured a plethora of moronic moments. Still, this was you attempting to be a man. At the start of today, you asked only one thing.

I read once, that courage is sometimes a quiet voice saying I’ll try again. Only to me, sounds like my feet hitting the floor. I’m reminding myself constantly to pick up my boots and being too exhausted to remember. So I drag them along, that’s the end of Inventory. It’s lighting that match and raining down Hell on others. Enduring the fire, and sometimes it’s your pyre. How I wish I would let my face attempt to go red. Better than the other stupid stuff I do with my eyes and mouth. Madam Justice, it’s treating every girl like fucking Medusa (LANGUAGE). They can make me hard as a rock, but I will go no further. If I have learned anything, wanting HEAD from one is nothing compared to the girl for me I know.

Yes I know the story of Medusa, I was always one for the Greek myths. It beats all the vexing things I spouted. However, notice sometimes courage only means you stand while a stupid man goes places. Where do I reside… Brainbuddy? I’ll give up Fappening but porn? Let it be in others stupidity that I find what it means to be brave. No that doesn’t pan out either. Tom Bilyeu says every moment is a moment for courage. So I can attack in any direction. But I must learn at some point Madam Justice, Don’t Mistake Stupidity For Courage.

“I worship individuals for their highest possibilities as individuals and I loathe humanity for its failure to live up to these possibilities.”
— Ayn Rand (Goodreads)

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 258 ~Blind Faith To Will~

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Do I still think I can see into the future, I wrote this Wednesday, and I saw this day going a lot better, only I wasn’t blind to some girl, I know what I need to do, and tomorrow sigh. Blind Faith To Will

Saturday, March 16, 2019

Episode 258 ~Blind Faith To Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, today is Wednesday. I’m still STUCK on the idea that I will write a best seller. Now if I had the money this second, I know there is no way I would be going to work on Sunday. My problem is that I don’t see the money though. I see Inventory, insanity, and indignation. One of my motivations says that no one can hate you more than you hate yourself. Only nowadays I look, others don’t.

In a way I envy them. In some ways, a button is worse than a trigger. Do you recall when I was talking about Brainbuddy (which you should CANCEL Friday okay)? My deep confusion about what classifies as porn. Yep, I lied to those people “One? Yeah.” Giving up Fapping, sure. The porn, hell after doing the Morning Routine, it was right back to the Heartless Prince. After that Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest. Still, nobody can show me something more beautiful than women. Some people tell me to have faith in God. Blind faith and those same people were the ones that made me out to be a nerd or worse. So my eyes were too full of tears. I was busy getting up close and personal with a baseball bat, balled fist, and my blood in the dirt most days.

I saw this religious movie once called Apocalypse, and there was this guy Bronson Pearl. Now he wouldn’t listen to his girlfriend or some story. He dug up his father’s grave and only at that moment did he find faith. Faith Lady Luna is work. I was looking at myself, and for once it wasn’t my fucked up teeth (LANGUAGE). Nor was it my body; it was my bloodshot eyes from working.

Nevertheless, with my writing, I do not see the results and the day job sigh. I’d rather be dead instead. Now that sounds harsh, but it’s like everything in my world is, I don’t know. In one way it’s living in a museum, don’t touch that it’s priceless. Don’t think that, those people were savages. Stay behind the rope, the line, the people. Better yet don’t look ever.

Am I back in school before I had my glasses? Only I couldn’t see the board so of course, I failed. Math where I was expected to get it, but I never did. So I bought into lies, and now I’m an adult where there is no future in my job. Walmart fails ha, or my eyes are stuck on a screen, headphones always. Is that the game, you see too much or too little. However they say look up, and even the sun is blinding. Still, I know every shade of blue there is. I can’t close my eyes anymore, but why believe in myself, Blind Faith To Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 257 ~Will Deserved Love Letters~

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When I think back to when I was in college, the first girl I ever “love.” did me the service of rejecting me, others called me names and most even blocked me outright or had me begging and pleading. Will Deserved Love Letters and now I “write” books.

Friday, March 15, 2019

Episode 257 ~Will Deserved Love Letters~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, don’t tell anybody a damn thing. It keeps bucks in your pocket, prevents blocking. Yeah, the police can’t put you behind bars. Only what do I tell myself in the future, seeing as how it’s Tuesday now. Next week will suck.

Let’s focus on the positive. I can say such beautiful things to a young lady. I’ll have her falling head over heels in love. Her panties are hitting the floor, in a word YES. Just not to me. Several other gentlemen are quite happy. That’s more of a reason to run a brothel. I’m no one to compare a woman to a summer’s day anymore. More like a Brazzers or Reality Kings model. Have you seen them, and of course that gets me blocked. I have sung to a girl. Think of the sweetest things. Butterflies, Rainbows, Pokemon and in every one of these examples I’ve never spoken of love. Not even like, but I do have an L for myself, and that is Loser.

I know Lady Sophia I have to stop. Come to think of it though did you CANCEL BRAINBUDDY. Again I’m writing from Tuesday, but this app was an act of love for myself. So far I like it but still confused, Erotica, Nakedness, Pinterest. Do they count as porn? Still not giving it up but a day clean? Today I went ahead and ordered my PS4. However, Walmart is a pain in the ass and no not from Cupid. So you wonder why I don’t believe in happiness. More like WORK, though today has been a significant setback. I didn’t read earlier, but I did go through the “Morning Routine.” Only yesterday I got so much done, but I’m tired.

At the day job all I kept thinking about is how someday I’m going to write how I love myself. Sophia the first part of that is writing. Every word that costs me a second of sleep is telling me, you are loved, wanted, alive. When I write my bestseller, I’m going to be signing autographs, books, and checks. I’ll make business deals, buy my land, the labor force, and LADIES. No, they’ll be filling my inbox, knocking my doors down. But their doors are open. I’m never going to stop writing Lady Sophia. Even with my restaurant, love hotel, and then my movie studio. I want to be “Pure Taboo” and “Fetish Network” even more so. The payoff, I’ll look at myself in the mirror. My beautiful wife with our kids. Little B III still on guard duty. Yes, I’ll know I was loved. But Will Deserved Love Letters.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 256 ~Will’s Mad For Maddy~

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The second part of my experiment and is it scary that I find this last half better than the first about Amandla Stenberg a.k.a. “Madeline Whittier,” now that was so creepy, or so I guess, but I am a madman. Will’s Mad For Maddy

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Episode 256 ~Will’s Mad For Maddy~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Welcome, Mischievous Mouthy Maddy
How To Make One Million Dollars, singing and I do adore you when you sing to me. I have other plans for that mouth of yours. Babygirl, after all, haven’t you answered yes to everything? Yes, Master, more, and to you being mine? May I make suggestions to you here and now. While I have you on your knees, making love to my cock. Dare I say I like these sweet sounds even more so Maddy.

The first would have to be, never cut your hair ever again. Braids, pigtails, especially curly. My hands lost in a sea of black but never off. Now I’ll take your bobbing to mean that you agree with me. How about as more of a reminder I make sure to fist it tightly in bed. These snow-white sheets and the two of us colliding as you’re on all fours. Must be madness that I thought this could ever be us. Only who is crazier? Isn’t this the place you open up to me. You’re spreading your thighs as I slide between your folds. The only notes needed are the ones on your tongue, begging, pleading.

Some would call it Toxic. The way I want to have you all to myself, to be the air that you breathe. For you to lose your mind in thoughts of my desires, depravity and my dick, drives me so crazy too. That I can’t for this existence I live imagine how I kept it out of you for so long. Maybe your kiss was Poison, a pharmaceutical. A plot of a love story that we tell the world. Or perhaps no one at all as we find ourselves spent in every way. Hell Maddy, I will burn for you. I know, a Fever and perchance somehow or another I have fallen into a dark paradise of our limbs entwined. Trapped and only wanting more.

I don’t want to remember the man I was before you. Even thinking of the man I am after fucking you. He scares me and yet you do not run away. Or you can’t if I love you only in the way that you deserve to know love. Inside you in every way that I can be and much more. I don’t ever want to leave. Hard as it is and with only a look from you this madness. If we go out, THEY would say Will’s Mad For Maddy.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 255 ~Iron Will Makes Steel~

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Why say give me a minute, when I could take one, and time being so valuable and all but what have I wanted for such a long time, what do I need to snatch back, reclaim, even steal if necessary and it is. Iron Will Makes Steel

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Episode 255 ~Iron Will Makes Steel~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become a Republican. After all, they make the best thieves. Still, I’m not that bad; bullies aren’t dominants. Don’t I need the brains to build a time machine. You see from where I’m speaking now; it’s Monday, so I’m stealing time? It wouldn’t be the first time I have become so sick and desperate. I’m not proud of it though there was a time when I stole. Reclaimed porn from my “father’s” computer. Then I’d dance around and call it heisting.

As for reclaiming something and taking porn back, this leads me to my first sin. Only is it; I’m still wondering that of many questions. Does Erotica count as porn, seeing a naked girl, how about paying a cosplayer. Technically today being Monday. I already looked up True Teen Babes and Street Blowjobs. Anyway back to sin, it’s not wrong for a drug addict to seek help in rehab. For an alcoholic to go to AA, so okay porn… Well, I did get this app Brainbuddy. Step one saying you have a problem and my only crime snickers is I’ll have to cancel it. At the end of this week, I like to pay my bills all at once. Now I’m not sure if I want the app or not. If I were to go back to the beginning and I hate this flashback. When I first discovered porn, it would either be Princess Ayeka from Tenchi Muyo “Hentai.” How about “dad’s” stash? That might explain some of my avoidance of black women for years.

You break it, and it’s yours, and I won’t get into who that tape belonged to but yeah. I stole cash. Would it help if I said it was life or death? Hell, maybe I am a Republican. I was trying to stay out of jail then. Yes stealing porn used to be my favorite past time. I haven’t for some time, don’t ask timeframe.

You know Patreon and the MILF, but now I am figuring out what I want. Yeah, I’m not giving up my viewing habits. I only need better control of myself. So I’m planning my biggest heist. That’s stealing back my life, mine. Too many people took away my reasons. I am learning, but they say I don’t have the brains, to believe in myself, in truth always to be me.

Isn’t that why I do this? People want to rob me, rip the smile off my face. Have reasons to hate me. These conversations are pretty much a bank vault. All they have to do is take what they want. With beauty comes great pain. Inspector Echo I apologize that I have fallen so far that it has come to outside intervention. Inspector Echo if I had to go to all the girls and all the companies where I gathered my collection, incredible. For not being strong enough to protect who I was. It has been so much time and coming so far; one day this Iron Will Makes Steel.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 253 ~Being Alive Is Quite Expensive~

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I’m not sure I did it and almost doesn’t count, but I spent nearly eight hours today surviving so that one day I might live, and what would I do with that time… I have plenty of could be classics ready to go ha. “Being Alive Is Quite Expensive.”

Monday, March 11, 2019

Episode 253 ~Being Alive Is Quite Expensive~

Seventy-Fifth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, in a word from Darius Rucker “Time.” In every breath, and as “THEY” always say blood, sweat, and tears. Forgoing any other bodily fluids but we’ll get to that. What about the things that make me feel alive? To be honest with you Madam Justice, death isn’t looking so bad right now but in reality. I’m only tired; as I said last week, I’m only human. Sleep is yet another addiction I’ll have to overcome, again we’ll get there.

It begins with time and how much of that am I spending on my work. Of course, I talk to my girls every day. Still on novels, news about them, nonsense that could be anything from poetry to short stories. There’s getting girls to take off their clothes. No, it wasn’t about that this morning, groaning, grinding, getting out my Fleshlight. I did Meditate, move that scale on my latest read. I even made the bed, and I’m still breathing, right. All of this to become a better “human.” Other than working up a sweat walking B III, I do feel like crying because I’m exhausted. Sadly the day has only begun, but that’s the price, and I’m so greedy.

Yesterday I made a list because I was beginning to forget all these things I’m relying on to stay. What motivated, marginalized and liking it, beats being ME. Anyway, so there’s Patreon because I wanted to look at Cosplayer boobs. Spotify because work sucks. Prime as I desired games sooner. New Brainbuddy to control my feelings towards boobs. If it’s not dollars, I again look to time. I do exercises for my mind, work that makes me want to die. FEAR though, now you wouldn’t think that being afraid and sleep would go together. No, I only see monsters when I’m awake, in the mirror.

How about when I talked about not being a thief. However, I could tell you some stories about MOTHERLESS and True Teen Babes. The way I started my porn stash. Why yes I’ve stolen things other than porn, and I’ll get more into that Wednesday. The idea is today, buying a few more hours. Begging my body to keep going, and “stealing…” well, no it’s a seven-day free trial. That’s how I’m getting by. I’m surviving, and it’s as if I have to win back my life. Somehow that price of having it to keep, Being Alive Is Quite Expensive.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 251 ~I’m Staying Alive Will~

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If you don’t have your health; the thing is I think I know what will fix this but after that monster headache, no more energy shots for a while but my poor characters t if I stay awake today. I’m Staying Alive Will.

Saturday, March 9, 2019

Episode 251 ~I’m Staying Alive Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars; I’m sure I’ll make it after I’m long dead. As much as I have written, but it will be nowhere near three thousand words. Did I promise myself such today working?

Head games you know. When your body is telling you your so fucked up (Language) that it has you going looking on WebMD for answers. In that respect why aren’t I dead by now? Hearing one of your coworkers say again and again their not a racist. Speaking the truth though they’re mad about a former lover dating someone black. However, in all fairness, I’m not one to date black women. We’ve talked about the ones that leave me in the morning. Help me; if I were to ask for it, it would come in a little plastic tube. 5-hour ENERGY still has me wrecked, from my head to my feet nowadays, could be worse.

Heartbreak and I know my heart isn’t so. Seriously though I hate coming off like Howard Wolowitz or like some criminal. Yeah, women prefer the clown but the comedian died and how many days has it been? Hair Razing as my heart sank when I saw what was coming. Do you know what’s going to make me such the zombie survivor? I learned to avoid people when they’re still alive. Hands not idle but sore, sexy, and sorry for, well I’m here. Shouldn’t I make a list of my crimes, but that’s the thing, isn’t it. I don’t want to survive; I want to live.

Horny never helps though. If there is any consolation, with all this pain I’m feeling at the present moment; I can’t think about sex. Not saying I would turn it down but that should show you how much this hurts. Hips, Legs, all the way down to my toes, how I stood at all today is a miracle. I got up early to read today. I’m two minutes away from crawling into bed and going back to sleep, much like I did this morning after the book. Health is everything isn’t it Lady Lu. Yes B III has better health care than me because he has me and he’s alive.

How about if I only try living. Am I going to break off into some positive phase like once upon a time? All I know is that today sure as hell ain’t that day, only I’m not dying. I’m not getting arrested, one more miracle right, I’m Staying Alive Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 250 ~Let’s Lie Down Will~

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The lie is I can’t get up, that I can’t face the world, that B III will live to meet his stepmom but the truth, I don’t want to get up, the world scares me, and Triple B is on three medications, yet I wish to create fiction. Let’s Lie Down Will.

Friday, March 8, 2019

Episode 250 ~Let’s Lie Down Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, create the ultimate comfy spot for dogs. A product most owners won’t buy, a lie never accepted. Knowing at the end of the workday we want our fur babies with us. Sitting on our laps, furring up our couches, and bedtime.

That might be easier than writing because I’ve discovered something and that’s I’m not a good liar, and you know how I know? I’ve never convinced myself. A God that can’t convince himself of his creation; like the plot of Legion (2010). I’m not even a good thief because that goes hand in hand with lying. Only haven’t I said that fiction isn’t lying, again it’s creation. Still, everything from girls to gore, to the ground, is real. Writers have to bleed, and that’s one more thing I can’t do correctly. Like a body that lies Undiscovered and when it finally is what’s left, decay?

I haven’t gone through the majority of the Editor’s Notes on Apocalypse Rush. Though if a sea of red was any sign, damn near everything had to be separated and corrected. Not that they said it was terrible by any stretch. I wonder if the editor was a woman. I saw that it’s International Women’s Day and I did go to see Captain Marvel last night. Hell if I wasn’t sitting here with you telling me to Stop Crying Your Heart Out, what would I be doing? A pool of green from vomiting out the amount of cash I’m going to need for my novel. What about being Down With The Sickness that festers inside me. Word apps are leaving whoever I was rotting more.

Lady Sophia, if I want to write and learn how to lie, why don’t I tell you about the movie. How I strolled with confidence, paid, bought my snacks and saw a great film. No, I humiliated myself with an old ticket and agonized over it for two hours. Saw a decent movie and then felt right about a car accident because people were having a worse night. I could tell you I woke up feeling great, with a lot of energy and I plan to get so much done. Again I fell asleep till seven, my body is sore, I have to go out, and all I want to do is sleep. If my life were happy, I would go into nonfiction. Could become one of those reactors for TWD. As King Ezekiel put it “Fake It, Till You Make It,” will I go and lie down in bed or Let’s Lie Down Will.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFS_OksbYCc

I Will Have No Fear