Month: November 2018

Episode 132 ~What Keeps You Willing~

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Being perfectly honest I wish I wasn’t and no I’m not getting on about my name I mean getting off my ass and doing something other than running to work, searching for sex, and rushing to stop the flood of invaders. “What Keeps You Willing?”

Saturday, November 10, 2018

Episode 132 ~What Keeps You Willing~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, three months in, I should have a quarter of a million dollars… I spoke about mimes yesterday, and that’s one more good thing about them, you can’t hear them laughing at you. Can’t see them either considering I have been asleep most of the day and things I don’t want to see today. More things to break my No Fap streak, too late, more black dots across the kitchen floor or Braxton’s room marching, and how about the crap for my novel but the ideas keep on coming more and more.

Hell Lady Luna the only reason I got anything done today was “B III” tugging at my arm, one more thing I didn’t want to see is him hacking and coughing, that fat cat that’s looking for a fight, or whatever wound I inflicted on myself around my heart. I don’t want to see when I have to go to work tomorrow, how about what I’ll procrastinate with next, today it’s been Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and Rick Grimes’s last episode, and then there’s my dining room chair. So today’s question is what do I do it all for, I’ve said so many times before I don’t look in mirrors, I counted my money which is another bit of depression, and no I’m not suicidal… okay, I always am but closing my eyes and wasting today did work wonders.

It always comes back to FEAR but if I need to pick up F’s they would be FIRED, FATHER, and of course “The F Word” because I hear Captain America saying “Language”; still why do I get up for work, don’t like my job, hate people but I don’t want to get fired. Every Morning when I wake up as the song goes and I’m not headed off to work I see my son look at me like Papa Can You Hear Me, and I‘m nowhere near the best dad in the world and I still can’t believe I still dream of having the “Nuclear Family” to be a Father. Of course, that requires “The F Word” and no I don’t mean Fapping, and when it comes to sex, yeah I have far too much of that in my novel and far too little in reality but the promise of it… talk about loftier F’s.

Ask me why I wake up in the morning other than to walk B III, give him his meds, and pray for twenty-four hours not to fight the horde, at this rate I’m going to have to do actual real adulting and call someone. People Lady Lu, humanity, like Me Before You, A Million Little Things, Let Me In, we are supposed to live to make other people happy, and that’s not fair when we can’t have that so Lady Lu What Keeps You Willing?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 131 ~Your Willie Don’t Mime~

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The pretend man is at it again, well that was until I was cradling “B III,” fighting an ant caravan or wondering what the hell am I becoming while writing other than a terrible writer… too late, but I am a clown. Your Willie Don’t Mine

Friday, November 9, 2018

Episode 131 ~Your Willie Don’t Mime~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, you have to work every day, and today I make no excuses although I always have a million of those, another ant invasion, “B III” having to visit the vet because of his heart, and here I feel as though I took a hit in mine. Literally Lady Sophia my chest hurts right there, could be breathing in that bug spray, my exhaustion, I nearly threw up last night because I was so out of it, still am, and maybe that’s why I didn’t want to talk to you, the universe, and what’s that they say of dead men my friend…

This whole week I’ve felt like a “MIME” in everything I do, at work being the hard-working employee and still feeling so guilty when somebody writes down I’m not showing up. As a writer, talk about being an epic failure, on the one hand, shouldn’t I feel proud, I can turn off everything in this life and focus only to fall into the black of words, TV screens, or pools of ants, I swear I have no idea where any of it is coming from. What about what I can see, I’ve been fucking up as a father forever and a day and all it took was one bad night and it surely was a million times worse for my kid but sleeping in my bed, his food, going for walks, that fear Lady Sophia seeing him struggle to live.

Lady Sophia that silence would kill me; if I couldn’t write anymore and if I lost everything trying to work so hard to remain nothing more than an “UNPERSON” I don’t feel as though I exist, that I should, or that I even want to. Indiana Gone and I were talking about this, I always get called into work but if I don’t show up then so what, it doesn’t matter the day continues and if they call me terrible or people are indifferent towards me. On the other side, I’m the entertainment, I’ve said that before, the inspiration of jokes, the example of how not to do something, the monster makes the damsel relevant.

Now that is something I don’t mind or mime if you were to look up my internet history, in this world, there are never enough warning labels are there, and again last night I was so wrecked, I was like everybody else, close your eyes and ignore everything. If you can’t see a mime though, does he exist, one more reason I’m a writer, I can pretend to write, or I can do it; with desire, Your Willie Don’t Mime.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 130 ~Take My Will Away~

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As badly as you want air, that’s one of my concerns, I’m always looking for a reason not to breathe, because sometimes that is the hardest thing to do; I want to give life to some many so no wonder I feel like I’m in outer space. “Take My Will Away.”

Thursday, November 8, 2018

Episode 130 ~Take My Will Away~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, and “when” I do remind me not to blow it all on escorts, sex toys, porno, and erotica literature; money is one of many things that I need to keep my pants, but of course I blew it yesterday. You will have to excuse me if I do not feel that sexy besides fucking up “No Nut November” my son is sick but in recovery mode and is there anything sexier than the angels in my stories and not coming after four paws of fury.

My novel wasn’t exactly blowing me away last night, to be honest, but what happens, happens and somehow or another I’m going to have to capture a second wind, get ready for round two and even now I’m still up in more ways than one. The good thing about not talking so much is the fact that I’m not wasting air, hell Dirty Diana, a dominant’s rule is supposed to be absolute, thus providing more atmosphere for his submissive to perform her tasks and of course scream. Here’s another idea, why is it that the most beautiful things are meant to take your breath away, to give life to them, a feeling of paradise, and let’s say love isn’t exactly known to make people smarter, gibberish writing am I right?

Somehow those people can locate some part of Heaven, something much more significant than themselves and again gives life to those that take their breath away for a moment in time. I already told you before, I’m not feeling sexy time, but I’m writing as always to provide a future, my son needs that, he took my breath away the day he came to be in my world. Has any woman done that lately, for a release here or there my breath has caught in my throat; my son loves life, and he was trying to find fresh air, scary.

I need to give breath to so many things, but it’s getting harder to catch at least one for myself, and maybe that’s because like in American Beauty, there’s so much beauty in the world or stupidity, thinking with the little head instead of the big one. The little one has been getting far too much these last two days, giving into such lusts when what I love is threatened; love Take My Will Away.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 129 ~The List Will Tell~

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Over ten thousand words so far and dare I say even more fantasies or am I giving myself far too much credit because I say yes to everything and that is quite the bad habit; maybe I should list that, but instead it’s insanity. The List Will Tell.

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Episode 129 ~The List Will Tell~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, say things people want to hear, say yes, and sadly in my everyday life I have become a yes man, day job okay, going to vote… noted I would have gone anyway but I had to show proof; FEAR, of course, is always yes. How about NaNoWriMo, honestly it’s only been seven days, and I’m already sick of it, I could probably take it easy if it wasn’t for the day job but again yes to my RESEARCH, yes to being a pervert, yes to a future I won’t believe ever.

Now that’s my second sin; the first is all the times I say yes and I’m sure I’ve written about saying NO, if anything that would be better than what I’m producing right now, hell I forgot about that story I sent in and of course I didn’t win. According to my motivations, your purpose is the thing that you would do for free and hell yeah I’m doing it for free now, though I feel I could use some new pants. My third sin this week, I’m barely hanging in there when it comes to No Nut November or whatever they’re calling it, which leads me to my fourth sin, staying off the Internet.

Perhaps my greatest sin this week is my RESEARCH, I made a whole list of reasons why I should go to jail; somebody asked me what my dream was and I told them it was becoming two specific guys. Both of them better men than me for so many reasons but I’m also greedy; the Coven I created in my novel has thirteen members, and the thirteen classes of girls, and probably more twists and turns and curves, cue *Homer Drooling*. I think missing all of my sleep is my penance for all my crimes this week, but it’s never enough Inspector Echo I know that to be true, even in fiction though I’m letting something quite evil Get Free.

Do you want to see it; some names are changed or not exactly mentioned because I’m not that crazy, well not yet anyway though my story would beg to differ which is the whole point, NaNoWriMo and the day job. So Inspector Echo will you forgive me of my sins, the constant stream of yes, for once again living for a future I don’t believe in, for having far too many reasons to give into the little head, for the constant wasting of time online and the girls that made this… The List Will Tell.

1 – 3. European Photoshoots 6. The Walking Dead 10. Amateur Redheads
4. Girl From Pinterest 7 – 8. Vault Girls 11. Model Redheads
5. A Horror Movie 9. Virgin Roster 12. Rhode Island
13. A MILF

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 128 ~A Willing Shoulder Please~

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As the song goes, put your head on my shoulder, I’m sure plenty of people are doing that tonight, worried about the fate of the country, but I love America, and I’ll love an actual person someday maybe. A Willing Shoulder Please

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Episode 128 ~A Willing Shoulder Please~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, first off I don’t think you ask for it but is it strange to say it’s a gift; I’ve said before I didn’t like how Aloe Blacc sang that love is the prize and while love may require one to Work, Hustle, Kill, heavy the head that wears the crown. That’s one thing I don’t miss, “trying” to figure us out, and yes I’m always ready to quote Master Yoda, but today I find that love can be as easy as finding the left shoulder to lean on in a way.

Yes, I said left maybe because it’s Election Day and I’m hoping I won’t burst into tears… nah never about politics, probably something more stupid but yes my son will cry and show teeth. So you know when he’s an angel he’s at my left sleeping; when playing a devil, little bit stays to my right, you probably remember this when you first came over and even when there’s love, my first born demands it all, so he sits between us. I can also say with great certainty, that my shoulders are comfortable, two people went to sleep, one during church which is understandable, an another during “Revenge Of The Sith” I’m as amazed as you are my love honestly.

You also know I’m not the most positive man and I don’t mean anxiety (this time), no I might play the Devil but when it comes to all of us “We Are Groot” because sometimes all you need is a few words or none. Maybe I’m thinking of the cross we all have to bear, and again life shouldn’t always be like that, I swear Atlas never had it so good, to hold you here on my shoulder. It could be that when you cry, the tears reach my heart or maybe I need a new wardrobe, lipstick is always a better excuse than Kool-Aid, trust me I know love.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a shoulder from someone to lean on I wonder does it make me weird that I want to lie in your lap, if it works for my first born, maybe he takes after me, always finding a new comfy spot, to feel love, or to go to sleep. A new way to find peace and we need a piece of somebody else, and All Of Me, loves all of you now but when this all began all we needed was A Willing Shoulder Please.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 127 ~They Don’t Understand Your Shit~

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Nobody has to understand you to be successful; hell people can know everything you say is a lie, and you can still be president, but I’m only a writer, with his real fantasies and fictional stories but will they know? They Don’t Understand Your Shit.

Monday, November 5, 2018

Episode 127 ~They Don’t Understand Your Shit~

Fifty-Seven Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, a part of me wants to say, be Donald Trump but we understand his shit, he’s an asshole, now I could talk about his followers but more to the point I think about “Braco,” “E.L. James,” or The Walking Dead Fandom. I know that alone comes off as confusing, but that’s everything when it comes to me, thus the rule because nobody understands and in truth, I hope they never figure it out because if they ever do that…

For example, today is the hell if I know “anniversary” of almost getting fired from the day job and why… skeevy, pervert, stalker perhaps, take your pick, just like I do, I was afraid, I’m a traditionalist, and I consider myself better with words on paper ha. How about the fact that nobody seems to understands me at work when I attempt to speak because my voice comes off so small, and don’t even get me started on how many times I’m referred to as “Ma’am” when I’m picking up food. What about my novel, don’t I mention NaNoWriMo daily but anyway, my protagonist and antagonist are “sleeping with” two girls, before that they were having fun with three more.

The good news is if by descriptions you can recognize them you’re probably very “wrong” like me, but honestly games like “Virgin Roster” don’t get made themselves, somebody greenlit the game “Rapelay,” certain costumes get made, and photo shoots get done. Some people like football, others The Walking Dead, athletes die sometimes, and people cheer for teams as if they’ve done something, but I’m wrong for worrying about Walkers or liking The Purge. “Indiana Gone,” told me that the key is communication but even if wasn’t for “The Tower of Babel” (I don’t get religious people honestly) understanding especially in these days is not valued.

I keep telling myself that even if I don’t get my novel I must be saying something but to me, it’s only a list of sexual fantasies in an apocalyptic universe which allows for my darkness; for maybe a day I thought I was into Teratophilia… perhaps a little. What about wants, wishes, woolgather, my writing, I can’t tell the day job all of that is why I would rather not lose week after week to take care of their shit, honestly Madam Justice I don’t understand and they can’t, They Don’t Understand Your Shit.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 126 ~Will, A Motivational Tale~

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Burning the candle at both ends as it were but honestly, I choose writing, what did I hear in one of my daily motivations, the difference between I got to, and I get to and if I’m lucky I’ll live the later. “Will, A Motivational Tale.”

Sunday, November 4, 2018

Episode 126 ~Will, A Motivational Tale~

To Will:
How To Make A Million Dollars, well honestly the hardest part is waking up in the morning, remember to take the trash out, and as much order as you try to impose you’re going to bug out sometimes, literally. Yeah you’re going to have plenty of time to think about a lot of things, this time the event happened before the dream, a freaking ant invasion, talk about getting off my ass to do something, and you need to take that motivation into this week, it’s NaNoWriMo season.

I don’t know how many times I’ve mentioned that and its only day four and there is still so much writing to be done and you’re going to do it, not because I have faith, or that you love the idea of it but because that’s who you are. Why is it that tragedy is the thing that works its magic, of everything in this world, fear and horrible circumstance are what raises the dead man. Sometimes I envy my son, of course, he wakes up with his share of “concerns” but more often than you at least he wakes up with hope to get something done in this world but these Six Impossible Things

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 023 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 030 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
Failed
4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
Failed
5. I Will Finish Dancing In The Dark By T.L. Martin (Goodreads)
Failed
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”
Failed

Well, 17.5, no excuses, so let’s look at the positives, I’m still awake at this hour, my word count remains intact at 6,900, and if I heard them correctly at my day job, Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest are all gone, talk about some good news. You will have to be bolder at work though and the hours aren’t getting any easier but what is “Eric Thomas” always talking about you have to be willing to give up sleep, now that’s an addiction, but it surpasses porn and what’s this latest novel about again. If anything were to come of it you’d miss plenty of sleep, or at least that’s the plan but what does that make me; any closer to that million, you should probably focus on Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 030 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
5. I Will Finish Dancing In The Dark By T.L. Martin (Goodreads)
6. I Will Write 10,200 Words For My Novel “NaNoWriMo Challenge”

Strange isn’t it to give your word to write so many more and when did NaNoWriMo become the boss of you, I swear if it isn’t novels, it’s bugs, and sooner or later it will be babes, starting up with the alliteration once again, hungry, horny, hanging in there barely. Where is hope in all of this, I would give you a quote but seriously though, keep your hands on the keyboard and see what happens, only your next novel isn’t Will, A Motivational Tale.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 125 ~When Motivation Bugs Will~

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It seems to me that everything is out and trying to live, fitness models, bullies, and pests and for some reason, I can’t get myself motivated despite the huge nap I took, but energy drinks do have a downside. When Motivation Bugs Will

Saturday, November 3, 2018

Episode 125 ~When Motivation Bugs Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, well I know I’m spending at least twelve bucks a week on 5-hour ENERGY shots; think Popeye and his spinach, only a day later I’m crashing, and for a minute there I was thinking would they ever sponsor me… loyal customer.

Last night I was talking about motivation, and I have done so for so many, as I was telling “Indiana Gone” about that MILF, I told her she should become a model, lo and behold she has a new Instagram page, not that I’m taking credit. I would show it off if I weren’t afraid of losing her as a “friend” or that she would kick my ass and to speak of a foot in the ass, I know I have motivated and inspired many would-be comedians who live by the motto of “Just Kidding.” God how that bugs me and even trying to make this house inviting has triggered the local creepy crawlers, or maybe that’s the weather; I keep hoping, seeing as how my son has been under it for a day or so, he’s motivating me towards a vet visit this week.

Now how about my precious motivation Lady Luna, I know this is more Lady Sophia’s wheelhouse but the ideas have come rolling in or should I say rip-offs, for example, Twilight did the whole four parts thing with the sun and so did Black Panther. As far as character motivations, my protagonist is always looking for love, the antagonist wants his business, the pretty doctor values humanity, the love interest desires a soul, and the gravedigger looks for immortality. What am I motivated to do though, here’s another NaNoWriMo, I have slipped back into listening to all those motivational speakers, and I still remember that happened by accident “Illegal Dreamer,” I owe Spotify for that.

The thing that gets me though is why am I still waiting to get started today, I could have come so far but I’m doing the bare minimum, 1,667 words and I do around 1,700 because of my thing for numbers as always. O.C. D. is a real killer; you can look at me when I leave the house I have a ritual and if I don’t do it… well now I know why I like three, O.C.D., Bipolar Depression, and Social Anxiety which is the worse, now that might make a good story someday but When Motivation Bugs Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 124 ~By One Man’s Will~

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If not looking so many enemies in the face, I’m busy creating them or anything for that matter to populate my new fictional word which will probably never see the light of day but who knows. “By One Man’s Will”

Friday, November 2, 2018

Episode 124 ~By One Man’s Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, seriously man created God, man destroys the Earth and any man that’s able to gain dominion over women well; here we go again with “dignity and respect,” but my actual point is, it shouldn’t be difficult to make a million. The second day of NaNoWriMo and I’m still trying to create a world, and please excuse me for picking your brain about this, it has been a long day, and I owe over a thousand words before I get some sleep.

“You cannot have a protagonist without desire; it doesn’t make any sense, any fucking sense.”

My plot at the moment is rather simplistic; I’m always a fan of harems, brothels, ranches, whatever name people give them these days and in my story (yet to be titled) the main protagonist owns one but not staffed by ordinary women. Now you know I have always been a fan of “Thirteen Women” so I think I will need that many monster types of women or somewhat supernatural qualities; Angels, Banshees, The Dead, Lilith, Nymphs, Possessions, Scream Queens, Sirens, Succubi, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches, and Zombies. The protagonist will also tell the story, but I think I need four more characters to balance it out, with my “love” for words, why is it I’m always worried about doing the math, five speakers four chapters each.

Twenty Chapters total with Two Thousand, Five Hundred and of course, it will get bigger, and here I haven’t even finished editing “Apocalypse Rush,” and the sad thing is I’m forgetting all of my stories and the idea of rereading them… Anyway, I think one of my characters will be a gravedigger, another one a pretty doctor, and I always need a love interest and of course the antagonist. A question I’m asking myself is always, what’s my motivation and none of my characters seem to have that though I have already completed the first chapter and still have more words to go but what about tomorrow, not like I have a deadline or the day job to contend with; probably my general laziness streak.

Seriously my biggest enemy right now is, well they say all you have to do is bleed, but most of my stories require other bodily fluids; a man has to get inspiration from somewhere and so far, that’s “Anja Juliette Laval.” Right now my goal should be to finish this story before the 30th or even better the 20th, strangely enough, I was never an overachiever in school which explains a lot; hiding in the wrong books and now writing them By One Man’s Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 123 ~Will Does Dirty Deeds

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Should I go to a strip club already, or maybe I should become a “hobbyists” only in America do you crack down on the women before the guns but I feel like I’m going to… well given the news so much for free speech. Will Does Dirty Deeds

Thursday, November 1, 2018

Episode 123 ~Will Does Dirty Deeds

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, keep your money and your dick in your pants for starters and who pays for porn nowadays anyway, though I have before, some DVD’s here or there “Isaku” for example, Virgin Roster Shukketsubo, Casual Romance Club Houkago Ren’ai CLUB, PC games. I also own some sex toys, and for a while, I was working on a closet for a potential submissive, but of course, life has to do its thing, and you can’t make a deal with it, what did one of my motivations say “life does not accept payment plans” but do women… perhaps?

If it worked for Christian Grey, but I don’t have that type of scratch. Otherwise, I would be in Nevada this very moment and in cute little redhead Alice Little; maybe if NaNoWriMo works out and I get published and how has that gone today? Yeah, I’m way too busy thinking about that MILF again, I wonder did she take my advice as she’s now trying to be a model maybe… so much for anything, I could give her am I right? Hell, I have been down that road before with a pornstar, the legendary Mia Rose, but no girl is looking for a guy with nothing… okay so maybe that shows how much I know about women, just saying.

Maybe wishing, hoping, imagining what life would be like if this was Brazzers or Reality Kings but if it isn’t my exercising MILF I’m dreaming of it’s the one closer to “home” a Twelve-Hour deal, and no not The Purge though I do have a fantasy there. The way I see it she could come to the house and do her usual for two to three hours, but before she heads upstairs she would do a striptease and wear something I picked, and she wouldn’t leave me wanting in the oral department let’s say or a handjob. Week two, there’s a difference between making love and fucking; we would do the former and talk about week three.

Now that would be the best day, BDSM two and a half hours’ scene followed with aftercare and lunch, maybe a small nap or a shower, she would have her own, given this place, it does have benefits. Such deeds though require such digits, and quite the Devil, and am I him, at the moment all I can say is I’ve felt better, no energy boosts today, but I’m nowhere near where I need to be, all my worries, writing and two women how Will Does Dirty Deeds.

I Will Have No Fear