Author: Will

Episode 243 ~Deadline, To Fill Will~

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Winston Smith said; “we are the dead” you want to know what my Room 101 is… being alone, “B III” is hanging in there, and I see a couple of good people too, the problem is though, I’m not one of them. “Deadline, To Fill Will”

Friday, March 1, 2019

Episode 243 ~Deadline, To Fill Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, create a holiday I will enjoy. As you can see, I still haven’t won PCH, but I remember those days I was heavy into it, and then they came down south. I watched them drive around and then the grand prize was for someone else sigh.

Remission, I mean no disrespect to people who suffer from illnesses. Hell, the word comes to mind because of Roman Reigns in WWE, but I imagine that’s what it feels like to have so much money. The disease known as your life is in remission. What about the pain I endure, I’ve had plenty of those moments. Something in my eye, a toothache, my weak stomach. Which of course these days as I told “Indiana Gone” every day I continue to play Prometheus. So some “bird” gives me a choice, my heart or my privates, yeah still a private day. What did I say about a “life in remission?” Yeah because I “pretty much” walk around like a zombie all day working. Subsisting off, well that’s the thing there’s nothing, I go to work and how many times do I repeat this. My wants are impossible, immoral, illegal and insane.

Revenge, people are heading for the hills but it’s like I’m Dr. Jekyll, and I want to kill Mr. Hyde, no I’m not suicidal. Hell staying up half the night writing and of course, I missed the deadline, get it, scribbling gives me life? How about being Dr. Frankenstein and making a monster. Who was the bigger monster? Now let’s go modern, take the Rage Virus for example. I’m like the mother who’s infected and with my sick lips… hell everyone wants to tear me apart. Maybe I’m bent on my destruction. Every beautiful thing I desire is like the Road Runner, and I’m like Wile E. Coyote am a subscriber to ACME products. Because I asked one girl out and she blocked me. Asked to subscribe to another, but I don’t want to risk her friendship but… she’s hot.

Renounce; the man I am, but I don’t know who that is anymore. The basics today, I’m getting sick, my throat hurts something awful, I’m still exhausted, I’m a bit warm. Only people call me sick for plenty of other reasons. I would say I get to renounce the human race, but my “father” hell do I count him as human. Like me, he pretends, and if he thinks he’s getting me as a “friend” on Facebook, geez I hate him in real life honestly. I said before that “A Comedian Died Today” and there is this idea that I have to be something else. Only who gets to choose, a dead man rises for what, Deadline, To Fill Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 242 ~Man, You’re Lining Will~

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Close your eyes, shut your mouth, and if you’re lucky it will go away; one of my motivations says that pain is temporary, another says that your greatest fear may come true, another says I’m going to make it. “Man, You’re Lining Will.”

Thursday, February 28, 2019

Episode 242 ~Man, You’re Lining Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,

How To Make One Million Dollars, I would say become the villain, but I’ve done that. According to God, the gods, or goddesses. I still feel like Prometheus strapped to the rock. I know where my liver is because of a suicide attempt, but this is more my penis or heart.

I don’t even understand why I put up the warning. The worse this will be; only the fact that I’ll say penis and that I’m a sadist, so pain gets me off or it did. Another point, that I can’t stand the suffering of people I loathe (like myself). Better to end enemies fast but I’m learning I can’t stand others pain. Today however it’s more like the Eagle is eating my privates than my heart. Not that I don’t feel it, but it could be worse. I could have “The Blues” in a wholly different manner, but I don’t feel anything but complete disgust in myself. I suppose my belly truly is feeling the brunt of this abuse. I am trapped between a rock and something quite hard, again penis and my rib-cage, failing me.

I think I’m starting to understand why I sleep so much. Because I can’t stand torturing myself be it my latest desire or looking in the mirror. I see precisely what everyone else sees. At the Day Job and with my writing; I wish, I work my fingers to the bone. Aren’t I always preaching about idle hands or should I say idol, I was at the store today staring at the PS4 again. Yesterday I also brought up something in one of my reasons for finding “The Line,” and you know what it is? My eyes, they see, the brain interprets and lock the door. Swallow the key because once the idea comes back to the eyes, everything’s trouble.

Close your eyes, your mouth, the distance between you and the covers. Isn’t it ironic that like alcohol, the bed is both the cause of and the solution too most of my problems these past few days? When you attempt to cross those lines, they only become gigantic. Certain “assets” are such when you see them with eyes wide open? The smallest words carry the gravest consequences and my body; everything hurts. The thing is, as the exact shape of the heart or any person’s plumbing, you can’t trace it (no offense to Fleshlight). As I have said, it is becoming way too easy for me to offend people. I have crossed plenty of lines. Over and over, its become pathetic, so the truth is; Man, You’re Lining Will

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 241 ~Ninety-Nine Powers, Passions, Willies~

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I’ll never be a hero; in less of a week I have seen that I am everything else and today I felt l would be on cloud nine instead of the ninth circle of Hell, Treacherous I am not, but Lust isn’t sitting well. Ninety-Nine Powers, Passions, Willies

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Episode 241 ~Ninety-Nine Powers, Passions, Willies~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, get a psychology degree and find someone like me. For damn sure I need a psychiatrist more than porn. That PS4 I was sitting in the parking lot thinking about earlier or a bit of Plutonium.

I don’t need bombs, my life feels like a wasteland, hell this country, North Korea, Russia, I couldn’t care less. No Inspector Echo I want Superpowers, and the first would have to be Time Travel. Never turns out well for anyone and once you start, where would it end, starting from today. I offended a woman… notice what I’m not calling her right? Before her, there was “Butterfly” Friday, before her someone I can’t discuss. What about “Cookie” or “Cherry,” “Okay,” breaking my mother’s heart.

Go ahead stupid nigga
Go fuck with them chicks
I’m the third little piggy
Imma fuck with them bricks –-
The Roc (Just Fire) – Cam’Ron

My mom is a Christian, and I have credited her with raising a “gentleman, “now that’s a laugh. Mother is God in the eyes of a child and my mother much like Achilles’s mother must have dipped me in the River Styx. I have survived much but my heart. Brains scrambled sure enough and again since Friday, and earlier today. It was like “Butterfly” ripped my dick off (LANGUAGE). Isn’t that right because it grew back only for a lioness to tear it off, ouch.

Let’s get back to the heart; my “penis” it’s like it’s being eaten and regrown overnight still my heart. I swear it’s worse than being consumed, no the eagle is tearing it apart and then pushing it around my rib cage. Now at this point, I don’t want to even talk to “Indiana Gone,” “Okay” or “Cherry” I’m not Ma-Ti with the power of HEART sigh. Inspector Echo, I do have the gift of prophecy. Remember my dream when I was dating that girl, and I knew it was a bad sign, but I couldn’t figure out what, now I know. I turn my back on black women, people that understand my lifestyle. Friends who need help and how am I rewarded, the women I desire, the things I want, gone, lost, just wow Inspector.

Even now I’m sick, and that would be an awesome superpower, Inception. If I could forget everything and have a brand new idea. If it’s not mine who would I be, what do I imagine more? I’m a beast, I’m something ugly, foul, about to lose more and why? Once I thought I was creative, maybe naughty, skeevy, kind, a pimp and now. Just crazy but who is the Joker, how dare I, who is Marquis de Joker without, Harley Quinn or Dolly “Sick Fux?”

Doesn’t that make me the villain, that’s what they say about men who want X-Ray Vision. About those who turn invisible, about those that morph into others. Only for now I want to be Clark Kent, Peter Parker, Virgil Hawkins. To not have to be brave but then again look here Ninety-Nine Powers, Passions, Willies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk3ojO-vj8o

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 240 ~Will Becomes A Philosopher~

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I read two types of books, boy loves the girl, or a man who loves life, put them together you get a fairytale and yet I’m no prince, beasts, or lovable who knows what but if I read enough, study, dare to ask. Will Becomes A Philosopher

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Episode 240 ~Will Becomes A Philosopher~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become a mind reader or “choose” to be Gay. I know, not funny, that’s probably why I thought about Geology rather than Philosophy. Neither one pays well but judging by the rock on your finger or the fact that we’re here.

Any boy that grows up to be a man and marries his dream girl. Well, men are on a constant mission to figure women out, to become mind readers. Before I met you I knew what I wanted to convey, I wooed, I warned, I won, but for most women, I inspired one emotion… FEAR. Maybe I give myself too much credit perhaps it was disgust. Still, while I ponder the big questions. The greatest one in my life has to be why you STAY with me as I’m not good at a one-night stand.

One of my motivations says that Bill Gates talked about superpowers. They asked if he could have one he would want to read books faster. Now I have dreamed of being of being a superhero too, not Superman but Your Man… did I mention I’m not good with talking? Anyway, while I was at work, I think the best surrounded by the undead. So that got me to wondering the concept that if I had a superpower, I’d want super speed. My Love, am I that afraid of you, wanting to get back to you. Wanting to ask “God” or whatever a million times to please Let My Baby STAY.

If I’m going to be on my knees anyway, I might want to rethink my stance on time travel. How I owe so many apologies, and I don’t even understand what I did wrong. I don’t know how Goofy got man status, and Pluto didn’t either. So full of questions aren’t I but always the same. How Lovestoned am I, hardheaded, and hard of hearing as my heart skips a beat at your answer. Yes, you’ll STAY With Me Tonight.

How I worship you my goddess or do I stand for my woman. My queen, mother of our dragons or whatever else they may be in this world and no one else’s. How about do Christians stand or kneel for their flag? All I know is I love you baby girl, I’ll pray for you, fight, and die, to protect you. B III, the dragons, walkers, future Sith Lords forever; STAY a little bit longer.

Forever might be how long it takes me to get it, so I guess it’s a good thing; one of us is a talker while I sit here. Like Socrates, Plato, or Aristotle. Were any of them married? I also lack Rumi’s mind. Only if I Love You was hard enough for me, how trying the words I Will Stay must be as no girl has; Will Becomes A Philosopher.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 239 ~Creativity Thy Name Is Woman~

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If but to woo, warn, and win a woman, I’m not a man of faith but I use the “gifts” I have, I am a writer, I strive to be wise, and dare I call myself a warrior and what’s it all for as the song goes? “Creativity Thy Name Is Woman”

Monday, February 25, 2019

Episode 239 ~Creativity Thy Name Is Woman~

Seventy-Third Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, don’t sit on your ass and wait. Only in that being said, there are such things as ideas, intendedness, and of course irony. With what happened Friday. It does not profit a man to worry, but like alcohol, a significant cause of and a solution to many of life’s problems. Such becomes the nature of women. The sixty-seventh rule: Women Make The World Harder.

“Don’t do that. Don’t make the mistake of calling what’s inside me worry. Good men worry. Men like me take care of the problem.” Beyond

Let it go Elsa but I can’t because I seem unable to learn from history. I was “skeevy” towards one woman and blocked, thus restarting my writing career. I behaved as a “gentlemen” towards another and all I’ve dreamed of is losing everything. For days I’ve found my libido lacking, XVideos, Pornhub, and My “Vault.” The closest I’ve gotten to porno is casting Memphis Monroe in my short story. “We Are The Thorny Ones,” and that’s a “murder” mystery ha. Yeah, writing is still not making a profit but what about my pornographic MILF, the birthday MILF. My one friend who is calling out for help and why haven’t I done anything to rescue her?

Memphis Monroe, American Daydreams, Naughty Athletics

Speaking of the Birthday MILF, Happy Birthday “Okay” I hope you like The Cloister Series. You being a woman of beguiling beauty, brave badassery, and the brightest brilliance. I wish you all the blessings in this world and even more.

“Plus, every other girl I know is either married, professional or closely related to me. So you’re more, or less–you’re literally the only girl in the world.

“Hmm.”

“That’s a hell of a thing to say.” The Message, Firefly

Now I sound like Simon from Firefly; didn’t I mention yesterday that I know too many girls and I was telling “Cherry” this. I took one girl to the movies, we had movie nights, I cooked dinner for her, and so she trusted me, so does Okay. I paid the pornographic MILF and kept my word about her naked pictures.

With all of this as known, I believe all women are beautiful in their own way. Now I can always count on well two so far, to make me the worst kind of man. But what if I could be “The Best Man” and Okay’s birthday should count as a Holiday. Like that movie three principles of my life as a man and of course Will’s Writings, Witticisms, and Wisdom. As always my existence does revolve around one thing. Women Madam Justice, writer, wisdom, warrior. I could think of a million other things but never have I done so much if I wasn’t trying to woo, warn, or win a woman. In that order, I give all that I am, because I’m a man, but Creativity Thy Name Is Woman.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WHzUNC3iVI

Writer
Wise
Warrior
WILL

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 238 ~Will The Man Rise~

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I don’t want to feel anything, in this world it’s wrong for men to know anything else besides rage and no I won’t be my “father,” but crying makes me a girl… wow, and my other emotions make me a stalker, pervert, monster. Will The Man Rise?

Sunday, February 24, 2019

Episode 238 ~Will The Man Rise~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, ask the big questions like are Clone Troopers Eunuchs? I tell you I have no idea where your ideas come from man, but it’s not like I can do any better “I thought I had a chance.”

Will the man rise, maybe never, this whole life is nothing but war. Already you hear a thousand voices crawling through the woodwork. Talking about your gifts, greatness, and generosity; you know too many girls.

Girls, Girls, Girls and all it takes is one to have you feeling like “Grey Worm” to make you Unsullied. Surprised, maybe you should give “Game Of Thrones” a chance but anyway Grey Worm did win Missandei. No, my boy, love isn’t for you, attraction, attitude, an idea of twenty seconds of insane courage. It’s gone over twenty hours. You’ve kicked yourself two hundred times. Only it wouldn’t even matter if you were two thousand miles, you’re nothing, Six Impossible Things

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
    Failed
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
    Failed
  5. I Will Read “Deception and Chaos” (Chaos #1) by S.M. Soto
    Failed
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel
    Failed

Will, The Man, rise, you don’t like you, and I don’t want you. Still some men like you to be the butt of jokes, to open your mouth, so they look less stupid, to lend a hand. Can you be any more gay, monstrous, brotherly?

Contradictions, of course, it sure as Hell hasn’t been Pussy Galore. You might as well be a Jem’Hadar who lives only to serve. Yes, your diet consists “mostly” of porn and God help you if you leave that behind. Speaking of gods that’s the rub, you know. They are constantly changing and ever since Friday you haven’t looked to any girl at all. You’ve reached that stage where she makes you so worthless that you must focus, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
  5. I Will Read “Deception and Chaos” (Chaos #1) by S.M. Soto
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel

Will “The Man” Rise, as the song goes “he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Only nobody wants to believe that he gave into male urges. Hell he surrounded himself with twelve guys, Joseph had a wife, but no sex and you’ve never heard of God’s wife and then nuns?

Might as well be dead and I know that’s how you feel. No, you’re not going to kill yourself over some girl, but better a Walker than “Incel.” One more word you had to look up ha and yeah you would “eat” women and plenty of guys would have you “suck” something am I right. If anything it’s better if you follow B III’s example, if you see a pretty girl, you run like Hell. If you have urges, use your toy, work on expanding your territory or sleep all day. Sooner or later, like him, you have to ask, now Will The Man Rise?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 237 ~Pen Hand Strong Will~

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I began in the midnight hour, and I’m only now rising, I was busy keeping my guts down, and if I had done so earlier well, I wouldn’t feel this way; “Looked Who Grossed Up” and that wasn’t even the worst night but now? Pen Hand Strong Will.

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Episode 237 ~Pen Hand Strong Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, at the moment, even if I had it, I would spend it all to make this feeling go away. Do you know why I always ask the question? Because my first impression, insinuation, and involvement is still the way wrong answer.

It doesn’t explain why I am talking to you so late tonight or early this morning. Other than the fact that I feel like I might vomit and like I said yesterday. That proves one has guts but who wants to see that. We’re not doctors, Walkers, and even knights wore armor. If that’s what thing I learned tonight, I’m no prince on a white horse. Lady Luna I’ve come to the understanding that I’m one of two things and neither would allow me to sleep. Option A being, I’m a monster, I scare people, I’ve said it myself time and time again. Option B I’m nothing, I’m no one, and that’s why there is no need to wish, whisper, or write because who sees. Well, she did and convicted me, she did and called me out, she did and canceled, she did cause I’m nothing.

It hasn’t tasted the same you know, an ICEE, I still drink them, but on one day I nearly killed a dog. He slammed into my car door, but the taste I miss from my drink. The same with IBC Root Beer when my “father” slapped me, and they say alcohol numbs the pain. What about sleep, I haven’t gotten to rest a night without blogging first, and you know what caused that. Lesson 001 Looked Who Grossed Up and here we are again Lady Luna. Now I’ll never be able to look at Pokemon. Think about that Crazy Town song Butterfly. Listen to Michael Jackson’s Butterflies without thinking of what happened tonight. I’m sure you’re asking what the hell, so I guess I’m ready.

I asked a woman out once; she said nothing. I asked her out again this month; she said nothing. She showed butterflies around her and her daughter I posted “Butterfree” on Instagram. I quoted Crazy Town Lyrics to Butterfly, and here we are. Blocked, no bye, and with the belief, I’m the worse creature to roam the planet Earth. No, a cretin, worthless and cowering afraid of losing everything. Now I want to erase it all because it’s easier to destroy myself than watch others leave me once again, been there. Why do you think I’m always on the brink, forever seeing the end but no I repeat the mistakes of the past. My how a year and a half passed August 6, 2017, and now February 22, 2019, in the same horrific situation. Damn Pen Hand Strong Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 236 ~Contents May Explode Will~

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They say the proof is always in the pudding, trust me when I say that is not what was coming out of my son when I returned to the house, I’m glad that mess is out of his system though but what about the contents of me. Contents May Explode Will.

Friday, February 22, 2019

Episode 236 ~Contents May Explode Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, if I keep my mouth shut at work… I wouldn’t even come close. If I continue to grow “wiser,” reading so many dozens of Kindle books, I’m sure I’ll make that amount but for somebody else. Like Skye Warren needs more of my money. How about a self-cleaning doggie pad or litter box, they have those?

Like “B III” has a new nickname “Brown Dynamite” but we’ll get to that. Considering it was the better part of my day and I won’t blame B III for getting sick. Only I feel ill every day I go to work; it’s how I know I have guts. My brain is being bombarded by music, motivations, and musings, that I’m dying to tell you and the other girls. Only all that comes out is this rush of rubbish and rubble always. As dangerous as writing is this is the least harm I can do to myself or anybody. I didn’t even post yesterday, but I didn’t fight either, I didn’t give into my WRATH.

Now LUST Lady Sophia, shit (Language) there’s a reason I didn’t get done writing until around ten last night. Too busy drooling; yeah, don’t I wish, fapping over Angie Varona’s incredible tits. Oh and Jessica Nigri, throw Whitney Wright and “Okay” under the bus. It only got worst this morning in the shower. I don’t know what I’m more ashamed of, what came out of the big head or the little one and why am I telling you? Now that’s the question. Someone asked me, why I have my reasons. You know my lust after one girl broke me and blogging is putting the pieces back together. And if it’s not that then I’m looking for someplace, something or someone, strangely I like writing daily.

Blogging brings me back to Triple B, how before I could start writing I had to clean up his mess. Whatever was wrong this morning? So it got me to wondering a while that I still haven’t done a thing with the trash that is my life. So many books that have never seen the light of day. While I so want to give into my Wrath and I indulge Lust; it’s SLOTH that is the worst. I don’t get up at all unless I’m mad as Hell or ready to fuck. Come on I know dirtier words still awesome to hear the MILF say it though. I’m going to explode if I don’t talk to her again if I don’t ask the other MILF out. If I don’t escape my cage, write my book, save my son, everything I am; Contents May Explode Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 235 ~Three-Way To Love Will~

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Can’t wait until I never have to drive again, and in “Office Space” the movie, dude said you could have a three-way for a million but probably less, though if you’re a guy like me; if I could have Christian Grey’s stacks. Three-Way To Love Will.

Thursday, February 21, 2019

Episode 235 ~Three-Way To Love Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars from the comfort of your bed. Now I could go on and on about how others did it, a lot. While you could guess by now, a three-way is right up there “when” I reach success, I have other fetishes.

First off, even though it’s not Wednesday, I owe Aretha Franklin an apology, and I guess Tina Turner too. I was listening to that song Freeway Of Love hint, and I thought it was Tina. Only it’s Aretha. Also, I can never be “direct” with anything or “vanilla.” Well except when it comes to my women, and yeah I’m pretty open when it comes to fucking most ladies. Is it weird that I like sex with clothes on… I’m all for colors, cosplay, but uncovered cunts. Again today is Thursday, and I need to earn that warning someway. Be it tying women up in their underwear. Such are personal favorites, bras wrapped around hands, panty gags. And of course, anything that can be pulled down revealing tits, this week particularly?

Of course, there are exceptions to that concept, and maybe the clothing is hiding something a bit too deep. For example, my pornographic MILF asked would I spank her, would I choke her. Keep in mind, sadist I am, those thoughts came unsolicited. That too is strange not liking masochists. Two people that like pain, match made in Hell right but that might go with my whole thing of innocence. I don’t know any virgins, and it’s like the more a girl faced in the past; seriously I only want to break her more. If I understand she’s a survivor, and at the same time, there is such beauty too.

Still, it’s only with the innocent. In the Fifty Shades movies, Christian Grey got off on hurting women that reminded him of his mother. Hell plenty of black women have caused me pain but it’s because of my mother I don’t want to hurt them, there’s no enjoyment. Now back in high school, there was this brunette who I guess broke me out of my Asian fixation and my light skin sin. Though I still have a thing for Alicia Keys, Tessa Thompson. Nathalie Emmanuel as Missandei, Amandla Stenberg (with hair) and Zoe Kravitz. Should I go and watch Malcolm X again the dictionary scene. Anyway, there is something about those I find no fault in truthfully. Sigh don’t get me started on the “pretty clothing” Three-Way To Love Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 234 ~Up, Up, Up, Will~

WillLeave a comment

I wish I could stay up on one subject, in particular, if I’m going to be awake then honestly I should stay that way but why is the climb down from my bed harder than rising anywhere else? Up, Up, Up, Will

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Episode 234 ~Up, Up, Up, Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, join a church, cult, or a coven; you see even that turns me on. When I was young, I also wrote a poem called “Sunday School Girls.” Some months back I read The Cloister Trilogy by Celia Aaron and as far as covens, sigh European Modeling.

Surprising, that’s not what made me blow my wad or several, and you’ll have to forgive me Inspector Echo. It’s only 5:30 in the morning, so I’ll probably be a lot more “candid” attempting to stay awake and keep it in my pants. My first three sins, being honest, hung, and keeping my head up, both little and big. So I guess you already know I won’t be accomplishing my six impossible things, again this week. What week was it that I had my positive streak? The fact that I haven’t whipped somebody’s ass “heh” this week is good enough.

I can’t even look at them, that’s my fourth sin, at the day job there is nothing but rage and people telling me to keep my head up. Truthfully Inspector Echo, I don’t need any more people to make me so angry but whose fault is that? Yes, there is fear as well, I do not deny it; how I “try” to keep my eyes up. I don’t know if it’s the monster in my brain, my mouth, or I’m making a grave with my gaze drilling a hole in the floor. I could talk about feeling as though the world is on my shoulders. These hands as though every finger has a weight attached, or how fat my pockets are getting; that’s a laugh.

https://youtu.be/D8JS_8Ktb5s?t=105

My friend “Cherry” has nice lips, it’s one of her best features. Still, she also once teased with her cleavage, “boobies” or would you prefer “tits?” I’m wondering if that’s a language violation? To me the word breast is dull, and I’ve seen Indiana Gone, Okay, the MILF, Court, and how many did I pay peeking? Like something out of Detroit: Become Human, does that count as a fifth sin? I mean models get paid. I still have a wardrobe for a submissive, sex toys. Not to mention still paying off something as Mr. Dink would put it “very expensive.” So want to know how to generate a million dollars, find a way to make other guys pay. Only for this morning, the idea is forgiveness. For liking what I like sigh, breaking No FAP, making life HARD. Keeping my eyes to the ground, and being a few steps down from a “John.” Take a look at my character fodder for The Logos Girls novel.

Forgive me Inspector Echo, but I don’t think God or anyone in the world is suggesting Up, Up, Up, Will.

I Will Have No Fear