Author: Will

Thinking Outside The Box, “SHIVER”

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Sometimes in the box is the best place a man can be but then we are all different, and apparently, this is a different read for me but a decent one to be sure. Thinking Outside The Box, “SHIVER” it might be scary for a whole other type of reason

NOTE: Excuse me for not reading categories, that’s how focused I am with books that I didn’t notice that “Shiver” was placed in the Gay & Lesbian Erotic genre on Amazon, if I can make any excuses, one I’m a book addict so getting another one was just another hit. Two, I’m also a guy, and anyone that knows how guys watch/read porn knows we always skip ahead for satisfaction.

Not that this book scared me, uncomfortable yeah when I realized what I was reading, but then I chose to keep turning the page and other than being weirded out; what I couldn’t help it, the story is pretty good. Now I’m going to do something the authoresses should have pointed out that this a male with male romance (probably would have guessed if I bought a paperback) and already I can feel you judging me, and I don’t want to sound like some of the media or religious bigot.

Let me just state for the record, ever since I’ve gotten into the erotic genre, specifically dark erotica, I’ve grown used to the covers of these alpha males that make women go gaga so if this was to serve as a warning to me, uh no. It also wouldn’t be the first gay “lust” story I have read, I’ve read works from Kit Rocha but of course, most of those are straight, and the male/male scenes are quickly made up for in my eyes. Lastly I have no problem with the LGBTQ, but I don’t watch gay porn for a reason because I was born straight, but anyway regarding “Shiver.”

Yes, I was thinking outside the box, seeing how the other… I don’t know, give me a percentage lives, and it turns out the rich guy going after the small time boy/girl still applies, nothing different there. The two main characters Salvatore Wolfe and Jesse Clark, I can’t say I identified with either one, but they fit the bill of this shared passion though I think either the authoresses said this wasn’t a romance or a love story. What got me were the parts inside The Wolfe’s Den and when they talked about the background of this obsession with Jesse, personally though I couldn’t help but draw a parallel between this and The Rocky Horror Picture Show, to be honest.

I’ve read some pretty whacked out stuff having to do with obsession, stalking and the like which is what made the ending all the more engaging, but would I read a sequel? Anyway, I bring up The Rocky Horror Picture Show because for the day and age that was made and it made gay people look, well strange and seeing how most of the stuff I read has that reconciliation of the madness, Shiver well…

Okay so stop me if you know this routine, rich guy Wolfe, sees new graduate Jesse and is bitten by the love bug. I’m sorry it’s Salvatore that does the biting in this, romance blah, climax blah, will they won’t they, not that I was bored just busy, which explains how long it took me to read this. I could have stood to hear plenty more about Salvatore’s right-hand girl Trinity, and Brayden, who knew you could get me to root for the athlete best friend, new horizons to see.

The BDSM aspects were on point, I’ve read plenty about alpha vs. beta males, and Jesse played the beta for as long as he could until the eventual climax, falling out that always accompanies these stories. I can say the same for Wolfe minus the madness, his backstory was typical, but it does leave you with questions which kept me wanting to know how he accumulated his power though I can make a guess. What about the erotic scenes, let’s just say that these books usually are porn for women, being a guy after reading this I appreciated women in all sorts of ways yeah.

For those who needed another villain, that man would be King, see ladies, men are idiots whether guys are gay or straight and the scenes between him and Wolfe were all about establishing Wolfe’s masculinity. Trinity served as the voice of reason though her part was small, though she couldn’t stop either Wolfe nor Jesse and it might be pretty cool to see things from her perspective, hers and Brayden’s, am I trying to find a straight romance here? The convenient timing of the sister finding Jesse though; I like to think of myself as an author and have probably done the same thing in my work, but it doesn’t make it any less out of the blue or semi-lazy.

Parts that made me think were when Jesse wasn’t; I’ve heard of people dying like that and again makes me go into that whole this is a weird scenario, like my fetishes, are different. Other than the kink that almost ended the book prematurely and my initial shock and surprise, “Shiver” kept a steady pace, a decent addition to this genre if I say so.

Now if you don’t want any spoilers I give it three stars, and you can stop here because there might be some. Is there anything that this book could have done differently, again who am I to judge being so new to this type of novel and trying to be as fair, if I may.

It was a different kind of dark given Wolfe’s stalkerish tendencies, but I’ve seen worse that have ended better, not that I can say I was rooting for any ending either way… was I that caught up? I still wanted to know so much more about The Wolfe Den, the book covers the different levels of course, but I found it all fascinating and lacking any personal experience this is a great place to start. I saw Jesse and Brayden’s relationship somewhat pleasant; truth be told I don’t see many heterosexual relationships amongst men that don’t include, sports, violence, or women but two guys just hanging out together at home.

As for the three stars, I just can’t help but feel like I let myself be readily convinced, yes I’m a Kindle reader, but when I saw this book from my erotica reading group, I figured what could it hurt and just shock and not my cup of tea. Erotic Asphyxiation I know some people that like choking or other forms of breath play, but it seems to me this was just used to give Wolfe yet another type of darkness when the hunting of Jesse in the woods was enough. With the ending, they chose I’m not sure, again most books might give you a heads up, but with this title, I don’t know whether I’m impressed maybe or whether the authoresses are trying to say something else with this, not a love story.

I will have to keep an eye out for Ella Frank and Brooke Blaine, can’t say I’m in any rush to get my hands on another book of theirs but don’t let me dissuade, ladies it’s a good read, gentlemen unless you swing that way, seek life elsewhere. Three Stars and I think I’m going to find a box because Thinking Outside The Box, “SHIVER.”

Lesson 161 ~Hurry Up And Wait~

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What are you waiting, she’s not coming to me anytime soon, neither are millions upon millions of dollars or a legion of adoring fans for a book signing as of late. Hurry Up And Wait, NaNoWriMo was last month, and I think I’ve relaxed enough

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Lesson 161 ~Hurry Up And Wait~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, age is nothing but a number but that number is getting bigger and bigger, and you know some people say to think of it as leveling up but what happens when you level up in a video game? How many times have I just wanted this game to end, not that I’m retaking the suicidal route contrary to popular opinion, hell as if that view is worried about me honestly?

Take a few days ago, my general manager is concerned about me, how I felt like I was right back in school; “It’s Times Like These” I find out how rational a person I am. You see he’s more worried about himself and the rest than my mental health, getting over whatever possible affliction I have going on at the moment. You know me, Luna, I have a million excuses, which again shows why I’m so late talking to you another time, today should have been better considering no work.

That’s what I have to get over, work and that means I should be writing more but instead what have I been doing, what’s today’s excuse… Blue Balls. If anything that is what I’ve been waiting for the longest; to take a page from The Matrix Reloaded vis-à-vis love and of course there is still an opinion, my parents, family, dog, friends, etc. Now, of course, you probably think I’m talking about the love of a woman in a happily ever after sort of way but what comes to mind at this particular moment is loving myself. No, I don’t mean the thirty plus minutes I spent in bed thinking about getting an ice pack for my junk for relief.

Hurry up and wait has only been another excuse, leave that to others but not for me, if you want a car you don’t wait for someone to give you one, you get off your ass and work. You want to eat, it’s the same thing, what about being an aspiring novelist and what about falling in love? No, my dear Luna, this is just a reminder that I have to get up and work and stop thinking about tomorrow, there is no tomorrow, live like there’s no tomorrow, oh yeah that has to be a rule without a doubt.

What I have learned today is even if I can’t keep my head up out there… not yet, I shouldn’t have it down here, just looking at my dick, waiting for a release that I can’t give, no more, I won’t Hurry Up and Wait.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 160 ~Give Me One Reason~

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Fame, fortune, they say money can’t buy you love but for all the reasons I might want to try, I’m just tired and who knows what all this snow we bring, a few days to catch up or to do something finally? “Give Me One Reason,” and it’d better be great

Friday, December 8, 2017

Lesson 160 ~Give Me One Reason~

Hey Lady Sophia
No Fear, I could leave if I wanted to, snow and all, to think I almost chickened out because of some inclement weather and if that was for a job I hated and errands I could run later what about my book?

I finished one book and what popped up into my head to stop the editing process nut the book I finished before my 120,000-word dribble. You don’t believe me, I was thinking about spinning the whole virus angle and the reason for the game that they play; forgive me, in my deluded mind I’m still thinking someone is genuinely reading and I don’t want any spoilers getting out. Anyway is that my master plan, to keep two books in a constant state of flux, so I don’t have to edit: I am my own worst enemy when I’m writing right?

Of course, my most common enough excuse is that it’s been a long day and trust me it has been, which leads me back to the weather and almost dying. Indeed that’s yet a reason I do this because what are they going to say about me, I don’t want those lies in either life or death, read my words and perhaps it will be the first time I ever stood up for myself, and I will be lying there. Is that why my work is what it is, that I have to unleash the beast, my beautiful private purge?

With the snow falling all around us and being trapped here by exhaustion, a myriad of plot devices, and with the madness that is me I can’t help but think about “The Shining” or maybe “Misery”? I could just be hearing “Okay” in my head with a never-ending spank bank of others. So do I need to kill the old me, will it take the dog chewing off my legs, leaving me lying here typing away unable to do any of work, hell if I want my porn why not work on my story, other than the fact that my writing, I know it stinks.

That’s always my ultimate excuse to not write though how many reasons, good reasons do I have to carry on? Finish one book and then work on the others, one step at a time, one word at a time but yeah Give Me One Reason?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 159 ~Have The White Stuff~

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Talk about the wrong stuff if you’re reading this, but I don’t judge… much and I hope you can afford me the same courtesy when it comes to particular sexual proclivities, brush up on your Japanese before reading. Have The White Stuff.

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Lesson 159 ~Have The White Stuff~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
No Fear, life is pretty much vanilla, I like vanilla… as part of an ice cream flavor, the humdrum of life, and yes especially my women, though I did have a thing for Asian girls, another day and time I think.

The language though “Bukkake” don’t ask me why this has been on my mind this past week, considering I wouldn’t share my woman but the whole aspect of cumming on her face… If anything how I’ve been thinking of telling a girl, of course, if I kept one around, that she wouldn’t leave until she’s thoroughly bathed from head to toe, all sticky with myself, hell I don’t know how she would ever get clean? Maybe it’s something primal about marking your what’s yours and no I’m not into “watersports” but covering a woman in white, is something to see.

Speaking of being covered in white didn’t I say how I like my women and no I’m not a racist, my hate is universal, more or less, but it’s something about a white girl and no I haven’t been influenced by the media. Zoë Kravitz, Alicia Keys, Tessa Thompson, Amandla Stenberg (before she hacked off her hair), I’m seeing but sue me for having an affinity for lighter skin women. I’ve never seen the movie Jungle Fever, though I did spend more than an hour looking up the song from GTA San Andreas; any way you know my type, brunettes with nice boobs, Katniss Everdeen, Tiffany, identified as Jennifer Lawrence.

I like whip cream topping and the whip cream bikini, now that is what I call dessert, and is less messy than other toppings not that I don’t enjoy them as well. Now, this other particular fantasy was inspired by women; since my notes have been considered creepy, the idea of actually saying something “skeevy” and a woman finding it and then ravishing her just like I’ve written, isn’t that something. You can also think about outfits, again I’ve thought about ravishing a bride or a virgin all done up in white, what about a school girl in her blouse, a professional woman, the list goes on for some time.

Dirty Diana it just goes with me being a man, a gentleman, a lover, a monster, you recognize what they all have in common, despite who they choose in spraying, filling we all just know we, Have The White Stuff.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 158~Time Humiliates Again Will~

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If you asked me my favorite sin, I would say Lust, my needed sin would be Wrath, and the one I most indulge in would be Sloth, then again check my search history right but speaking of history, I write still. Time Humiliates Again Will.

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Lesson 158~Time Humiliates Again Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
No Fear, it’s why I enjoy anger so much or namely one of the seven deadly sins “wrath” but which would you prefer that I drown in a lake of tears or that I burn in a lake of fire… least I’m warm.

Today let’s focus on three of the seven the first being WRATH because it’s taking over, every day it grows stronger, and I know honestly enough that anger doesn’t help anything but my fear. No, I’m not going to quote Master Yoda or some tired cliché but why do people only see the worst parts of me and then with their laughter, snickers, damn can we just call it human nature, they invite the monster out to play? How not to sound like a psychopath *ahem* see I can’t even say what I was going to because I need this job and for some reason, I feel someone is reading.

What about LUST, I recall talking about a woman I met recently on the Whisper App who could do nothing but yap all day at me but what did I think about her at the time? Well, there was time enough to lie and doesn’t that just show how powerful lust it, I hate hunters, I lied about my schedule and other things and why, because I wanted her, what kind of man am I? Not that she’ll know, she wanted to “hang out, ” and I already told her I was shallow, sins galore. Anyway we traded pictures last night, now isn’t it funny she suddenly shut up, and she can’t go out, not because she’s married of course but because someone needs surgery?

Not that I’m busy crying over her though I got off an hour early from work and after freezing thanks to the dog I climbed right into a warm bed and decided I live here now. Yeah, I couldn’t even get it up to go to my workstation, and I just slept most of the day away, waking up all shocked and surprised though I did manage to eat. SLOTH, a waste of time and that’s what all the sins have in common, they were a waste of time and how am I going about correcting this because sorry just doesn’t cover it Inspector Echo.

I am sorry though, I apologize, to you, to the world, to the future missus who knows I am better than this and to myself but Time Humiliates Again Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 157 ~With Honey I’m Home~

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When I say hello to most people it’s a little obligation and when I say goodbye to those people there is nothing good about it, I genuinely wish I’ll never see the likes of them ever again, but when I first said hello to her. With Honey I’m Home

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Lesson 157 ~With Honey I’m Home~

Dear Future Wife,
No Fear, though honey I’m home seems a bit cliché, but so many hours talking to people I wouldn’t waste a hello on but with you, do I owe it to you or do I just love you so? On the other hand, I don’t tell you goodbye either, when it’s just the dog, and I ask him to be good, I remind him I’ll be back, to think when I take a step to leave him I’m heading back home already.

I know I’m not the most energetic person, “Good Morning” person, or have a good day, the walking in the house type of person, you’re here, so I’m happy, I don’t lie, and the last time I checked I live here. Maybe someday I’ll be greeted with “daddy, daddy” the children will regale us with stories of a better world, I’ll always read them stories before and bed and tell them goodnight before I find my way to you love. Goodbye though, the words have never bothered me because with you there is just no such thing, I’ll see you later, I’ll be back, how about I love you *sigh*?

Maybe I have high hopes for the world or higher aspirations for us that I can walk in and find you lying on our couch or in our bed and just snuggle up next to you? My name on your lips as you hold me close or we see each other next, for once that is something I would look forward to because everyone else just wants to take me away. In the morning or n the night, three little words are all I require if that because you’ll be the first thing I see when I wake and the last as I rest, who needs another cliché, just saying?

If anything I need to ask how I’ll speak to you at all, will it just be hello, hi, hey, Ha Ha, yeah my vocabulary is somewhat limited and honey… nah I can’t picture myself saying that though it would be nicer when strangers become friends and friends become lovers. Your name will mean so much, and beautiful will, of course, have a new meaning in the dictionary, but for now, I’m only trying to make my way to you.

When we’re together though; okay, one cliché, home is where the heart is so maybe when I find you there the first time, that’s the first and last time I’ll start With Honey I’m Home.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 156 ~Satisfaction, The Death Of Desire~

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What do we want, you know something, what do I want, at the end of the day that is all that truly matters is what do I want and if that’s another person, well lucky them or not? “Satisfaction, The Death Of Desire,” is it

Monday, December 4, 2017

Lesson 156 ~Satisfaction, The Death Of Desire~

Ninth Rule Madam Justice,
No Fear, and again I find myself lying for is it our fears that seek us out or we that seek them and in so doing conquer them only to seek out newer ones. If there is one thing that none of us can honestly be it’s satisfied for the moment we are, I believe we seek to be possible?

It’s perhaps this possibility that makes the dead so frightening, the damned, Walkers, zombies whatever you wish to call them because death should be the end, eternal rest. If we want or need nothing then what is it that drives us, I’m not talking the meaning of life or purpose, but all we do is to simulate death somehow only to rise again and begin the process once more. How does one define desire, well I honestly have no wish to look up the possible million definitions but here’s what I find it to be.

A wolf must kill when he is hungry, the wish to end life need not be present but gets done in the name of satisfying the wolf, for hours, a day, who knows but it is done, again and again, the wolf will go unsated until death. The same I will say about a man; personally, I want to eat I must work, hatred of this leads me to grander gestures, hunger for more and so I become more than I am, seeking the apex of life before death. It is only with men however that our appetites grow with the rise of our power, for everything else it is merely a physical transaction perhaps.

Everything else living takes more merely to match its size and strength but no not man, it is how civilization came to be as we know it, an object of a lifetime worth of desire. Desire is one way that I seek to break my fear; I must desire more than the fear itself, a lesson I once read about from Socrates I think, he said, when you want wisdom more than you need air…

When I want violence more than my peace, words more than silence, lust more than fantasy… maybe that’s not an even trade, but then again I am human, and humans want more and as I intend to live for now Satisfaction, The Death Of Desire.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 155 ~So What’s Your Beef~

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Burning the house down, making myself sick, and looking at the novel I just wrote, so many enemies or is it just me, I mean hello, is seven different personality or idea posts enough and truthfully one more about me. So What’s Your Beef

Sunday, December 3, 2017

Lesson 155 ~So What’s Your Beef~

To Will:
No Fear, I mean don’t have a cow man, so you finished one journey, and now you don’t know what to do with yourself, so in theory, it’s just another day. It wasn’t last week, but this week perhaps you took the challenge of no more chicken in your diet; ok, there is still some in the fridge, but that wasn’t by your hand, thank goodness for mothers.

Why don’t we define a goal, as I have stated on numerous occasions, both to “Indiana Gone,” and “Okay” it seems that everything you or I might want is impossible, immoral, illegal, and insane. I can’t tell you something like maybe you should lay off choking the chicken… two weeks in, no wonder you feel so penned up, and on the other side of the coin, you’re falling back into your laziness. Sure you just accomplished something major, you wrote a damn book and as with previous titles you’re giving into depression about what happens next again, “Some Assembly Required”?

As much as you may beef with the future and the end of the day, you must admit that you still have no idea what’s going to happen, despite experience. Maybe that’s what you should do, fight the real enemy as somewhat famous once said and that enemy lies right in front of you. Another way of saying I hate myself and other people, but having these three enemies, past, present, and future is no way to victory, and you should be basking in it.

So should I tell you what you’re going to do tomorrow, am I a psychic, the government, a dream interpreter as a manager at work thought I was… the future is always there but what about today? You wrote 50,000 words in the month that is worst for a retail employee so today let’s do something where you’ll see results.

Today your goal is to go and beat your meat; no, I don’t mean with that English tart you’ve been fantasizing about, more the Wal-Mart variety because don’t you miss having tacos? If you’re so scared about the man you will face tomorrow, why not strengthen the man you are today; Am I sure there is a rule in there someplace possibly? If you should die well then, you get your enemy one way or the other, and don’t go on WebMD, too late already, *sigh* honestly Will, So What’s Your Beef.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 154 ~Where’s The Next Mountain~

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How do you make a mountain out of a molehill, the same way you write any book with just one word, one true sentence as Ernest Hemingway put it about something I think I know, and then I know nothing, so the question becomes… Where’s The Next Mountain

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Lesson 154 ~Where’s The Next Mountain~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, but those that I’m waiting to create, can I not bask in victory for a few moments, the climb was ugly, brutal, and to be honest the view isn’t much, but the fact is I did it right? So what next, when I’m not planning my next waste of time, I’m bust playing catch-up, and that’s not going to well either, as I continue to play the gay best friend to several lonely women apparently.

If anything I should just swear off women, what’s it been about twelve days and while I have given up one vice yet again, I’ve bumped into three women, I swear my phone is a curse. Excuse me for sharing this with you and not Lady Sophia, my writing was supposed to bring freedom was it not and instead, my rules have been getting some attention as of late. Even now this one married woman wants to talk while her husband chases a squirrel and no I’m not planning on going down that road again.

The day job continues to as Negan would say “Suck Ass” and something stupid might come of it sooner rather than later, but I just repeat to myself “I need this job” and of course there is a mountain I am nowhere prepared for if I lose it. As far as other jobs, email has become one, another I don’t get paid for, not to mention friendship which explains me being so late talking to you, and what it’s not that late there is just so much to do. It could be worse, the holidays and yes I have to do some shopping myself but how I miss my solitude, is that why I chose the NaNoWriMo mountain, good excuse.

What better way to ignore everyone than creation, you know I’m not a man of faith but do you think God has his regrets with his loneliness to create humanity and then he watches such madness take hold and is left trying to fix it possibly? I made myself a world, and in January I will be asked to flush out that world to make it, I don’t know something that will never truly be seen by anyone I bet.

So what have we learned today other than I’m sitting on the mountain and by the time I get to the molehill it will be another mountain, what to call it Where’s The Next Mountain?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 153 ~The Horror, Horniness, Helplessness~

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Is it just me or has this room quieted somewhat without all the frustrated breaths, the echoes of the keys dying, earlier since I’m not working all night, my characters falling silent with their stories told? The Horror, Horniness, Helplessness

Friday, December 1, 2017

Lesson 153 ~The Horror, Horniness, Helplessness~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear, until next month but even now I’m sort of at that part in the movie when, I’m in the woods lost, the car won’t start, the realization that the monster is coming. First I should off by saying and not that I’ve been crowing about it or anything but I’m a NaNoWriMo winner, finished on the 29th, 50,000 words of complete and utter… well, you know what I want to say, ignorance, garbage, idiocy, etc.

What the holy hell was I thinking, and now that it’s over now I’m just imagining what I’m supposed to be feeling now and again my creativity is failing me. In a way it sort of parallel’s my book, the guy is lost somewhere in the bowels of Hell, but unlike me he at least has somebody coming after him, a family he has never seen, but they are there. When I’m not obsessing over that, it’s the fact that I may never catch up with the life I upped and abandoned, not that it was truly doing me any favors honestly but it’s mine.

Mine just like this story one big pile of shit, and if anything, I need to be gearing up for January, but I just want to fall, fuck, or fear every single thing. Excuse my Sesame Street antics; I’m just trying to stay awake or keep from breaking down, both are viable options. At least I’m not in bed at the moment, and I would say that’s a miracle but how does one define a miracle. Maybe the question is how does one define the impossible because last week didn’t I think being here, surviving, winning, completing, NaNoWriMo, was beyond me, it’s all about me.

That’s it isn’t it, nobody else cares, and this story is as doomed as that story about turkeys taking over the world or for “For Love of Truth,” what about “Some Assembly Required” 120,000 words and 50,000 words is what I considered a challenge? Is that it, why I can’t get excited about what I’ve done now, and I just being me, perhaps I truly fear the light, am I trying to get some actual philosophical basis to my crappy sexual romp, that can’t be.

I could have just needed a new project like Andy Dufresne, but sometimes it’s the little dog at my feet. I keep telling him to wait for me, and I’ll give us both a real life, a real home but all I have to offer is writing and when I look at my latest work *sigh* The Horror, Horniness, Helplessness.

I Will Have No Fear