Gospel 019 ~Three Gates, True, Necessary, Kind~

I wish people would make up their minds. Either I never talk, I talk too much, and what was I crying about a couple weeks ago, another block, getting deleted, etc. Not to mention, my words are all over the place. “Three Gates, True, Necessary, Kind.”

Monday, July 20, 2020

Gospel 019 ~Three Gates, True, Necessary, Kind~

Hundred And Forty-Six Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I wonder does anyone with so much money live by this rule. For the record, this comes from a grander law. I read once about the things that come out of your mouth. As you can see or hear, most days, I prescribe to the language of the Men In Black.

“Silence your native tongue” MIB

“YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!” – A Few Good Men

Let’s start with the truth. Every conversation we have here is about the non-fiction. Of course, there are things I don’t say and stuff I cannot show. Hell Madam Justice, this is a confession more for Inspector Echo, but let me tell you. I’ve been in juvenile detention once upon a time. Never been to jail as an adult, but I’m like Tom DuBois. I mean, I have no intention of ever seeing a “real” prison because of what I’ve been taught goes on there. People can’t handle my truth, and at times I can’t either. I will instead be silent than utter a lie. Now I do lie but again like Tom, only to save my ass at times. Madam Justice, I spend far too much time adhering to what others think of me; to fight it all though?

“I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.” Scarface

It’s not necessary. I say way too much in the form of making conversation. Remember, when I told everyone that my Grandfather caught the Coronavirus (COVID-19). Did I talk about my little sister being in quarantine too? It was accurate, and people do need to know, judging by the state of the country. Now, what about anything to do with Yabbos or my penis. Both necessary in my life but not in anybody else’s, so what’s left for me? I can talk about my Dæmon. Yep, when everyone’s having babies.

Kindness though? I don’t think I ever wrote this rule down, but it goes like so. Do You: Harm No One. Of course, I see exceptions to that rule as with most. I don’t like to hurt anyone outside of BDSM play or even vanilla. Now that’s too much information, I know Madam Justice. It’s like looking up Cindy Aurum, and next thing you know, she’s in my erotica or porn, I guess. What if I did live by today’s rule? I surely would be a monk, but would I have peace. Well, along with honesty, necessity, and kindness, yes, peace but speaking it? I don’t know how Madam Justice. Three Gates, True, Necessary, Kind.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 018 ~Your Second Chances Will~

As the song goes *ahem,* I’m gonna wait ‘till the midnight hour. If anything, I wish I had a chance to do today all over again, which would mean waking up at 4 AM instead of just seeing my bed then. I got stories to write. “Your Second Chances Will.”

Sunday, July 19, 2020

Gospel 018 ~Your Second Chances Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but do I hold out much hope for you? At the Day Job, when I can remember too, of course, I live in “Day-tight Compartments.” That’s a lesson from Dale Carnegie. It means you deal with what’s right in front of you today. You’re not thinking about yesterday or tomorrow, only handling today. I can see now that you don’t agree. Looking at yourself right this second, where are you? Sitting in bed, pausing YouTube with Fear The Walking Dead. Your Dæmon is being a trooper, though.

Now I covered this yesterday, I know. I went shopping for peanuts, and I mean that literally. Publix sells the Atlanta Braves Peanuts. Then there was the panic at the broken ATM. A minuscule amount of shopping at Walmart. Oh yeah, being called Ma’am picking up BBQ. As for the future, it’s like I say, “just another day.” You would rather not speak about it, and yet you have no choice, because what happens if you don’t? Like last night all the lights were blazing, and you’re falling asleep at 4 AM instead of waking up. Today there is even more stress having to talk to you, and you wonder why everyone leaves. Of course, while you can barely get it up to live, you drooled over Tifa Lockhart again. There was Abigail Breslin’s impressive Yabbos. Let’s never forget these long-overdue sadly Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 014 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 020 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Catch Up With NaNoWriMo
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late, Colleen Hoover
    Failed

Once again, as the song goes, Back At One. The thing is you want a second chance, so do I.

Strange that I mentioned Peanuts the food, but what about the gang that sang, I Know Now. If you’re getting lost, that’s from Charlie Brown, “and have my life to live over knowing what I know now.” Second can also mean plenty of things. For example, that second is the first loser. Is that from one of my motivations? There was Mark Wahlberg, aka Elliot Moore asking for a second. Then there’s all of us who need a second, a minute, an hour, days, weeks. All you want is a chance and every week you get another one. You don’t even need to wait seven days. You can change whenever you want and stop living as a second, third-class, a Tallie. Live Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 020 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Catch Up With NaNoWriMo
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late, Colleen Hoover

Will you, though, your chances seem as plentiful as your excuses. Your Second Chances Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 017 ~Ma’am This Sucks Will~

Another Late Night/Early Morning, and this should be pillow talk or rather be conked out at the moment instead. I won’t be dreaming about some girl because I wrote her into my story, but what kind of man am I? Ma’am This Sucks Will, I think

Saturday, July 18, 2020

Gospel 017 ~Ma’am This Sucks Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I had to succeed at NO FAP. Now I am sorry, Lady Lu, that everything relates to my “monster” nowadays. Didn’t somebody say once that life is worth more than a penis? I’m not counting that as a bad word. Lady Lu, whatever I’m doing with my life, I want to be more of a man than I am today. How I panicked today because somebody broke the ATM, and I couldn’t get my card back. When the people at the BBQ place called me Ma’am again. Hell, I’m still buying clothes for some future submissive I’ll have soon…

The whole damn country is falling apart, and all I can worry about is me. Yesterday, I was telling Sophia about all the lists I’m writing about my problems. I’m also itchy, I have heartburn, and as always I’m tired as all Hell thank you. I don’t even want to dare to glance at my Six Impossible Things because what have I got done? I’m keeping it in my pants, and my story is taking off. 2400 words a day, and of course, I’m not catching up because I should be doing 5000 words, but what did I do today? As I said, I freaked out at the bank, but I did get my card back. I continue to feel like I’m getting in everybody’s way wherever I am. Tonight will be one more, where I don’t get enough sleep, so what about tomorrow. I pay for wrestling, but how much can I tell you?

Things to be grateful for, so I get off this pity train. As with my gratitude, I have enough to eat for a few days. I haven’t looked at much porn today, but as soon as I say that, SIGH. You and I Lady Luna will finish this conversation, but I wish I had more to tell you. Another character is in my book, Charity Zoey Mars. She’s another English girl, so Cherry won’t be lonely. With that, I should probably say something about my country? I’m a black man living in America. Who is going to hear my voice, I ask. Do I want them to at all considering the things I have to say? Now that takes me back to my point, I’m not a man when I speak… Ma’am This Sucks Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 016 ~Lists, Giving Me Willies~

The plot of my fictional story is coming along all on its own. As far as my real life, though, grocery lists, lists of excuses, the Six Impossible Things that I’m never doing. It’s not Fear but rather Laziness. Lists, Giving Me Willies

Friday, July 17, 2020

Gospel 016 ~Lists, Giving Me Willies~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I have many sources of income. Yet again, I become a broken record because of all the ways I wish to accomplish this. I want to write books, own brothels and have bikini babes. Yes, I’ve been listening to Tony Montana, you know the money, the power, the woman. Right now, though, I would kill for a pizza, which brings me to tonight. I couldn’t get it up to find three toppings I liked to have on it now.

How about the lists of names for characters in my book? It was a miracle I even worked on it at all. Still, I got around to adding Lilith Cassandra Swann, played by Tifa Lockhart. There’s also Aurora Leanna Till, who’s supposed to be Aerith Gainsborough. Do those names sound SEXY? What about all the women I’ve wanted to cave to? I swear I haven’t thought about MILF Dos in a while. Of course, what I mean by that is I haven’t been drooling over her pictures, which I deleted off my phone. I still have Cherry’s, but I’m not salivating over her either. I did download some Final Fantasy VII Porn and some more Momokun. Now, this is a blessing in disguise. See, the ISP is sucking at their jobs, so the internet connection has been crappy. No Wi-Fi, no “adult entertainment” except what I got already. No worries?

On the other hand, what about that big stack of emails and aren’t I going to be busy tomorrow. No, I don’t need to write my book, let me note every problem I’m having in this life at the moment. Lady Sophia, doesn’t that make perfect sense. Isn’t it working on my Six Impossible Things every Sunday? There’s so much I need to buy for the house, but I didn’t start today. I did meet the lawn guy again. One way or another, some white guy is getting my money, but I could have told him no, right? Speaking of even more money, I’m losing track of all the Submissive clothing I bought. I broke down and bought Tifa’s dress and not a girl to be seen in my house. I’m not writing love stories, though, as my current novel has made quite obvious all on its own for today.

One day I’ll write DONE on Lists, Giving Me Willies.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 015 ~Wooing What Woman Will~

Well, last week I talked about buying Final Fantasy VII… Sigh, I bought something from that game, damn you Amazon and your “order soon” warning. With my luck, any woman I end up with will be up a size, not that it’s bad. “Wooing What Woman Will”

Thursday, July 16, 2020

Gospel 015 ~Wooing What Woman Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and do you want to know why? I’ve dreamed of this. Because at the end of my day to put it simply, I’m one greedy bastard. I was going to say S.O.B., but I love and respect my mother. So this should make today’s conversation easier, killing my hard-on right.

In 1993 I would have been a nine-year-old. On that year, Whitney Houston released a cover of I’m Every Woman, again thanks, Mom. Indecent Proposal the movie also came out. What do any of my pop culture references have to do with one another? Well, my Mom was receiving her Victoria’s Secret catalogs. I didn’t start Fapping till I was older, but ladies in their underwear hmm. I could never pick only one girl, I wanted them all. Plus, even back then, I learned the value of making money. Hell, I hate people touching me now, but for “hugs,” old people would give me a dollar. Such is a promise of affection, so I’ve observed.

My closet is one immense promise of affection. I have everything from Playboy Sexy Scholar to Enchanted Bikinis Belle. I’m also adding The Little Mermaid Seafoam Dress. I have a Chinese Cheongsam Costume, a sexy Alice In Wonderland outfit, I wish I could thank MILF Dos for that one. I even have that bikini and thigh highs Teen Starlet Macey wore (cue Homer Drool). Anyway, my point is that when I have a Submissive, she can be any woman I want her to be. It’s like what tickles my peach at any given moment? Currently, you know it’s been all about dark hair, dammit MILF Dos as the song goes, I won’t go getting tired of you. Well, I’m still all about Aerith Gainsborough, Jessie Rasberry, and oh yeah Cherry. Only now, it’s Adelaide Kane from The Purge, young love.

Which brings me to Indecent Proposal. I know that everyone has a price, maybe not monetarily though that’s debatable. Take, for example, Zarah from Snowpiercer. For the record, I want to fuck her and Josie, Melanie, Ruth, Jinju, Till, and especially LJ and Alexandra. So did I miss anybody? Back to my point, another song… “And if you pay the right price, your evening will be nice, and you can go and send me on my way.” To hold such beliefs, Dirty Diana better to keep it In The Closet.

But Wooing What Woman Will?

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 014 ~Will’s Tiff With Tifa~

Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Gospel 014 ~Will’s Tiff With Tifa~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford to be all Hoity-Toity. My grandmother told me pride was my sin though we’ve discussed this before. Here’s My Big Three Inspector Echo, Lust, Anger, and Sloth. Already I’m off-topic because I want to talk about Tifa Lockhart duh. So forgive me, Inspector, getting carried away.

Now, as has been the plot of my life story these past few weeks AHEM years… I’m Yabba Dabba Doo for Yabbos. I watched some of Malibu’s Most Wanted, don’t be hatin’. Anyway, Tifa reminds me of a girl, no a woman, well a MILF I once knew. SIGH, seeing as how I can’t see the MILF anymore, I’ve spent plenty of my money on Tifa’s Yabbos. I swear with everything going on with NO FAP (15 days, 17 hr, 50 min, 45 sec). Inspector Echo I have been tempted this MILF and Cherry $500.00 to see their Yabbos. How do I mitigate this coming disaster? How much “ART” have I bought? I’m still staring at Tifa’s Mature Dress on Amazon. I’m thinking about signing up for Momokun’s OnlyFans. Because I can pretend her Yabbos are Cherry’s. I’ve even looked up for the record English BBW tits (pardon my French).

Secondly, you know I’m not one for charity. I don’t understand why the low should give to the lowest. It’s nothing wrong with it, but the high and mighty have everything. With a mere snap of their fingers and/or wallets, they could bring utopia. Put your dollars where your mouth is, right? I give to the following groups, those that support stray dogs and cats and people with pets. The other being girls that… say it with me, Show Me Their Yabbos and everything else.

Lastly, what about money for myself? I’m not starving. I have thousands, not close to ten, but I get by. However, I get mad that I’m walking around in $9.00 shoes to walk My Dæmon. My $20.00 boots are for work. I sleep so much because I don’t eat so well as I won’t spend the cash, which brings me right back to Tifa. I told you I still want her dress, the shoes, damn I have a whole closet full of Submissive Wear. Now only if I were Emeric Marceaux with Ivory, or had a Rainey Summer Day hmm.

Sorry, I’m falling for Tifa Lockhart. Will’s Tiff With Tifa.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 013 ~He Willie Loves You~

They say diamonds are forever, what about books? I got mad at someone and gave them a piece of mind… on my way to 100,000 words. Someone else got around 50,000. The woman I’ll marry, though? Sing it with me, “A NeverEnding Story.” He Willie Loves You

Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Gospel 013 ~He Willie Loves You~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now because I refuse to think otherwise. As is my love for you. If that’s the case, though, why am I still so afraid of losing it, of losing you. The past few weeks, I’ve been hurting over some loss friends… please hear me out. When people leave me, there’s no grouping of my sins, no I’m giving up on you, not even goodbye. So here I am writing the things I needed to say. When I stop, though, I mean there are no more words, links, or when I forget to check for days on end. Writers both fear and relish these two words, “The End.”

“I will eviscerate you in fiction. Every pimple, every character flaw. I was naked for a day; you will be naked for eternity.” – Geoffrey Chaucer – A Knight’s Tale

I’ve told you that writing is my dream and you are too, My Love. Only you’re here, you’re mine and novel-writing, well the words keep coming. My motivations might say you have to love the pain, a writer sits and bleeds upon the page. One day though, let’s assume the current subject matter will fall away, and they’ll be something more. You’ve watched me become one with the music, a slave to the work, a man of silence. I always say this, I’m a hard man to know. That’s one more reason I write and like smart girls, not that you should spend your life learning about me. So that’s a lie because I want to know everything about you. They say that if women came with instructions, no man would read it. Instead, Baby Girl, I choose to write it every day I can.

“Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature.” – 500 Days of Summer

It’s not about the money I know, but I want to write the checks and read the bills. Our kids had a library before they even knew how to spell their names. I see my firstborn with his little beard and his every hair turning gray being read to. I look upon all the love letters and poems that I wrote to you. No, you didn’t throw them away, laugh, or use them in a court case at some point, I wonder. You read my book and see those words The End or hell To Be Continued, and you ask how many words will it take? With one, it might take 50,000 thank you, NaNoWriMo. Another might take double or triple. You, My Love, are the song on repeat, my new dream. You, My Baby Doll, will be my never-ending story. He Willie Loves You.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 012 ~Difference Between Sense And Censor~

If I could write something, like American Beauty or if I had billions of dollars. What about if I catered to the religious, who speak of hated and have holy books full of sex, and hell, it doesn’t make sense to me. Difference Between Sense And Censor

Monday, July 13, 2020

Gospel 012 ~Difference Between Sense And Censor~

Hundred And Forty-Five Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means everyone wants a piece of me, in my wildest dreams. I can imagine someone going over these conversations with a fine-tooth comb. Have I gone too far in a “few” places? I have often enough, though you may have noticed changes here or there. Didn’t I, at one point, just say boobs, breasts, or even dirty mom tits? Thank you, MILF Dos. Now I say “Yabbos” mainly because of Thora Birch and Mena Suvari, which brings me to my point. American Beauty is a good movie… Hol’ Up A Minute?

Okay, there are three ways I want to come at this. First, as I was saying in American Beauty Jane Burnham and Angela Hayes. Thora and Mena, respectively. They play high school girls and Lester Burnham pervs on Angela. Meanwhile, Ricky Fitts gets to film Jane’s Yabbos, which she shows off. Now I can say I like this movie and that makes sense. Now what I’m feeling right this second, that’s me censoring myself. I won’t finish my thoughts, Madam Justice, because what? Am I ashamed, what about what the world teaches, having good sense?

“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”
― by William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure

That brings me to my big sister. I’ve quoted this often enough that she said, you can’t build a strip club next to a school. I’ve heard killers speak about “no women, no kids.” Madam Justice, you know how I want to live my life. I don’t hide it from anybody. At the end of the day, somehow, I want to become a pornographer. As Dennis Hof did, I want to own brothels. Hell, one day, I want a modeling agency. All of this starts with my writing, though. I want to write everything from something like Wanderlust. To Sex Zombies, Begging For It, Lolita.

There’s that twinge again. Why is it that it makes so much sense to me to stay small? Okay, this is the third thing; I censor everything I am in the name of good taste. I abhor liars Madam Justice which explains why I hate myself, but it’s a lose-lose situation. If I tell the truth, I get blocked. If I lie, I’m in a box because the real me is dead. I know enough to play it safe, but as the song goes AHEM, why can’t I be me.

He doesn’t make sense but Difference Between Sense And Censor.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 011 ~Only The Willing Tonight~

What time is it, one of my motivations talks about waking up at 4 AM and I find I’m not getting to bed until 2 AM and why? I’m writing another story and still falling behind. 10,000 words so far. Only The Willing Tonight

Sunday, July 12, 2020

Gospel 011 ~Only The Willing Tonight~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means you should be waking up at 4:00 AM. I don’t recall the last time I saw bed before 2:00 AM all last week. Now I know I can’t say I have left you in a good position. Hell, you’re still down 10,000 words, and Chapter Five doesn’t even have a title yet. The story is coming together, though, and I’m proud of you for being somewhat productive. You’ve added 2,100 words, a hundred less than yesterday, but what NaNoWriMo asked of you. Well, you know what your motivations say about the bare minimum. It’s not 120%.

Why is tonight all about the numbers? Snowpiercer went from 1,001 cars long to 994. It was also the season finale, so that’s one more reason you’re up so late. Oh yeah, Rowan Blanchard was in this episode as Alexandra Cavill, so yeah, you want to see her Yabbos. That’s one thing that’s not going to change, the quest for Yabbos. I had to stop myself from reaching out to MILF Dos or Cherry this week. There is so much work to be done, and I added two new girls to the novel. There’s Cassie Laila Dillon, played by Cindy Aurum. Also, I have Deeana Jillian Ramsay, who is Rebecca from Marvel Charm. Well, that’s your problem now, like the rest of this week. I always leave you in the worst position I know, and I’m sorry. So Yeah um there’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 007 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 014 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Mow Both Lawns Before The End Of The Week
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late, Colleen Hoover
    Failed

Two grueling weeks, you don’t know what it’s like, but you will. Do yourself a favor, though, and don’t go offering MILF Dos or Cherry $500. Nothing good happens after 2 AM a dumbass once said (cough) Ted Mosby. Yeah, I shouldn’t be coughing either; The Coronavirus (COVID-19) getting worse all around. The one thing you’re not worried about when it comes to this life. For someone’s life is one reason the lawn got cut because I was trying to help that someone out. A lie, of course, I was too lazy to do it. Every night when I say I’m going to do better, what happens? Funny, I was thinking about that song from Creed, With Arms Wide Open. I want to tell you, I hope you’re not like me but Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 014 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Catch Up With NaNoWriMo
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late, Colleen Hoover

All I ask of you besides JSS, yes, that’s from The Walking Dead. Write Your Story, Only The Willing Tonight.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 010 ~Will’s In The Sky~

The hands of the clock keep spinning, sun up and sundown. My head is in a fog because it’s after midnight. Now how many people are reading this, and how many are reading my story? “Will’s In The Sky.”

Saturday, July 11, 2020

Gospel 010 ~Will’s In The Sky~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means the sky’s the limit. Well, you know me, I could go into a load of pop culture references. I could say I’m already building the Death Star. How about something to the tune of Gattaca, how badly I want to leave this planet? Am I becoming suicidal again? Hell Lady Lu, if I could end it all is a question I ask each night, but I’m not dying. Of course, I could always talk about some girl’s Yabbos, which is why I wasn’t so successful as I wanted to be today. I could keep working through the night, but Will I Lose My Dignity.

“When you’re white, the sky’s the limit. When you’re black, the limit’s the sky.” Chris Rock Bigger & Blacker (1999)

Forgive me, Lady Luna. I’m still trying to appear more coherent. Call it a lack of sleep, my hatred of spending cash, and yeah, I’m hungry. I have a thousand dollars in the next room, and I’m upset about my $9.00 sneakers getting wet. So that brings me to accomplishments today. I did walk My Dæmon this morning. On this very evening, I meant to type 4600 words but only got around to 2200. It’s my highest word count so far this month of camp. NaNoWriMo isn’t asking for any more tonight. Lady Lu, I even did some reading too. I may finish Too Late by Colleen Hoover tomorrow. Should I say today, considering what time it is? The fact is I’m rolling. I’m doing something constructive, to say the least. Oh, how about the saddest battle now, NO FAP.

Sad to say, I’m thinking about MILF Dos, Cherry, and her Mum. It’s in the context of my story, and I’m starting Chapter Four, “Like A Moth He Came.” Yes, you know I am always one to spin a title. Even with the Coronavirus (COVID-19), I’m trying to be creative instead of worried. I went to Church’s Chicken today, and none of them were wearing masks. My “father” got tested, but my little sister was in quarantine. Stop hitting yourself, Nelson Muntz would say. How about I stop repeating myself. For example, writing stories that are never going to go anywhere. Starting NO FAP because I’m disgusted being the nice guy wanting to see Yabbos and do I. Um yeah…

Have I gotten through this conversation without heading to you know where dear Lady Lu?

Giving myself more problems other than addiction, and they’re pretty high, Will’s In The Sky.

I Will Have No Fear