Tag: Dog

Chronicle 061 ~B Losing Some Lovin’~

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How many times have I lost love, my heartbroken? I thought I loved many a girl, but um… My Olds, way too much to unpack. I write every day but is it, love. Not like I had for B III. 212 Days, and with my love with no place to go B Losing Some Lovin’.

Tuesday, August 31, 2021

Chronicle 061 ~B Losing Some Lovin’~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I would give it all up to save B III. What do you want, God?

Should I have asked that instead of, um, please save my son? Is that why “He’s My Son” strikes me, you know? Mark Schultz sings to let him take his son’s place. For my son to have more love, take my life if needed. Robbing B of that, may God’s love be with you always. Hell, most days, I don’t believe in God, and if we’re going to get all religious? I don’t want to go all-in on my Olds either. Mother is God in the eyes of a child, or why I don’t fear the father of lies, aka Satan. I got my Old Man for that. For the love of money, a child. I hope I need neither by now, their love, money.

Ok, that sounds harsh, and I don’t mean death, mind you. What I mean is, if you asked me how many times I’ve said the words “I Love You?” How many times I’ve fallen in “Love?” What do those three little words mean to me? Fatherhood, Manhood, the boy in the hood? Before everything, there was writing. Even now, I’m thinking about the dream I had Sat. There was Braxton. I felt a woman was what was needed to know love. Somehow. Yes, I met you, a miracle. Baby, you chose me. We have a family. I love you and our kids. Always and forever, never forget that. It’s not a lack of love; it’s the fear of it. My Olds wouldn’t say I lost their love, I don’t think.

The thing is, I don’t feel it except the bills, and yep that idea would cost me. I have billions? You know I’ve never been good with the idea that you won’t just wake up one morning and be gone. But if you ever say, “Hey Stupid, I Love You.” I can’t stand that song. Neutron Star Collision, that’s how I love. “’Cause our love could be forever” that’s better. Love is forever. So I guess when I think of losing love… well didn’t I say love is like the sun? And I don’t know if I’m seeing an ice age or The Midnight Sun from The Twilight Zone. No matter its time, I’m losing, and God ain’t giving it back. B Losing Some Lovin’.

212 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 057 ~An Interesting Story B~

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I call myself a writer. Most days, I wear some bit of NaNoWriMo gear. What does it mean to be a writer? My confession of a crime from 208 days ago. Getting grilled by some guy for a car accident. My excuses and Day Job hate. “An Interesting Story B.”

Friday, August 27, 2021

Chronicle 057 ~An Interesting Story B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and how did I accomplish such.

“A good question – for another time.” ― Maz Kanata

Why not now? Lady Sophia, I was about to say that I’m sick of stories. By today I should be finishing The Theta Timeline by Chris Dietzel. I don’t hate it. Sure I hate the fact that there are no more stories on the Great De-evolution. I hate the tale of my son being dead. There have only been two novels in my whole thirty-six years of life (remember that), I’ve stopped reading. The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins (I believe). There’s also the “classic” Lord of the Flies by William Golding. Yeah, there’s the Bible, but that’s a whole collection. Why am I mentioning books besides it’s Friday? Well, Wednesday, August 25, 2021, for real. A Time Traveler, that’s me. Why can’t time just stop?

Today’s been hard, and Braxton isn’t here to “Listen to my story.” Cherry’s pretty pissed. Yeah, I’m wasting time on Twitter instead of focusing on the Ninth. Yes, I’m going to the Ninth Circle of Hell, but I’m mean more of the day. Car accident and a fucked up phone call. Then there’s the fact of missing the 85% completion for price changes that a supervisor told me about. How about all the humiliations from the kiosk to other customers? I’m still trying to forget about that movie I saw, “Soulmates,” which makes me a real asshole. Nobody wants to listen to the other stories I want to discuss, or they’re on the news nightly. I did mention Chris Dietzel. Where is my time machine?

I would be a selfish prick, but can you blame me? How To Save A Life, I’d save B III. Sophia, you see what day we’re moving closer to. I’d become a Terminator: First Breath. I love my mom and feel a way about my father. Ha, I need only stop myself existing um yep. How often have I said I need to watch my mouth in case people take a sec or two? I’m not complaining like Cherry. Her writing has promise, like the girls on Onlyfans, have Yabbos. Story of my life, and you know I don’t even go back and read my own work. It’s why I’m constantly repeating myself. And when Braxton tried to tell me stories… An Interesting Story B.

208 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 056 ~Hunger Of B’ing Well~

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Shut your pie hole, or to that effect. The things I would say to my boy when he barked about the neighbors, I’m not sharing, when I had to go to the Day Job. All I do is talk about B and eat French fries. Am I empty or full? Hunger Of B’ing Well

Thursday, August 26, 2021

Chronicle 056 ~Hunger Of B’ing Well~

207 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Apparently, you didn’t Thursday, January 28, 2021, and that’s when I noticed. You weren’t eating.

Like father, like son, things weren’t right. Here I am after 207 days, and I continue to ask what “it” was. The food, the water, what is it that Mcdonald’s sells that I can’t get enough of. Monday and Tuesday, I felt so bad, but I still ate it. A time to starve, hmm Braxton. With you B III, when your stomach was empty, you were still so full of love, light, and life. Now, what did I have them give you in return? I did ask, was there anything that could make your condition worse. If you weren’t suffering, then there would be drugs. Braxton, I would have let you stuff your face. You would have had all your favorites. Your sickness was physical.

Like father, like son, my Old Man didn’t understand me either. Who’s The Better Killer? This is the one time I wish I hadn’t won. Then again, who says I did? I believe taking a life is horrible, and other than some bug… B, your life was the first. That’s ironic, the one I love. To take someone’s body is another, and since I’ve talked to Lady Sophia already. Well, we don’t have to talk about a majority of my novels and the horrors done to women. Anyway, my point is, the destruction of the soul is the worse crime imaginable. Did I do that? Braxton, I am no Steve Urkle. Way before your time. Plus, I don’t want to be funny or to laugh.

Like father, like son, we were both super serious unless your aunt was around. She was the first reason I ever saw you stop eating. Again, not trying to laugh. Carolina Bound made you a cake and shared so much you had met your match. It took you days, Braxton. I’ve gone for about a week without eating. I don’t mean now. But when I got into it with my Old Man, with the Day Job. The day you left, I didn’t have a chance, so many people checking to make sure I was eating. B, you know I can’t stand liars or any stupidity. This leads me to this week, full of rage, regret, this raving lunatic’s stupidity. Full, empty, Hunger Of B’ing Well.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 054 ~Will Love B There~

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Sometimes B is in my dreams. When I go into his room, some of his toys have moved. I’d swear I had a rat or some other rodent, but all B’s treats are on the table. Calling him for meds, I swear I hear his paws patting all around. “Will Love B There?”

Tuesday, August 24, 2021

Chronicle 054 ~Will Love B There~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I still don’t fancy myself an art connoisseur. Well, like Onlyfans, it depends. What’s art?

There are no more little tan hairs at the foot of the bed or on my pillow from B jumping. B’s shrine, temple, memorial, I don’t know, is never going anywhere like V for Vendetta. I don’t care what we have, “Soon As I Get Home” from work, I’m in my B III hoodie, ok. Hell, where are we now 205 Days, and I’ve only ever missed one, with a treat for my B III. There are labels for meds, beeps for when I need to get up to check his spot or water bowl. You hear me when I walk into the house. Honey, I’m home. Nah, “just me, Baby B.” Is it ok? No, I’m not asking permission. Another thing like Aloe Blacc.

I’ve told you before about his song “Wake Me Up” and how he sings about life’s a game. I still don’t agree that love is the prize but a gift. Sure, not everyone wants it. There are imitations of such. But once you give it, when you receive it, well, can it be taken away? Losing Braxton has made me love more. Being a husband to you, a father to our children, I won’t ever be one to tell you what to think or believe. I know what I feel and what’s real. I know my love for my family will never diminish. It’s only, I’m loving for two now. Braxton’s not here. I know that (SIGH) I know that. I need him to be.

And you need me to be, as do our children, so to quote another song, “Where Is The Love?” Be it the Rainbow Bridge, Heaven, or applying for Cerberus’s job. I hope B will know. Baby Girl, I fear my love is like the sun. For you, it’s having to travel far from its origin. That was Braxton to me. Pathetic, I know, considering my history with the word love. B III is up there, somewhere, and the world is a bit colder for all of us. It could be that I loved him so much. I fear what would happen if I focused all my attention on you. God is love, THEY say, but God is cruel. But for us? Will Love B There

205 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 050 ~So A B-Story’s Place~

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If I could tell you where I belong, it would be on a bestseller list, back in my bed, or lying on the couch as Braxton took a nap from guarding me. I want to believe he’s in a better place, but we were a package deal. “So A B-Story’s Place”

Friday, August 20, 2021

Chronicle 050 ~So A B-Story’s Place~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but do I really need to read another billionaire’s life story? I don’t read my own.

That’s a damn insult with me spending 201 Days writing about B. Blogging every day. I’ve written two 50,000 page books. One for my ongoing “Cherry” series and B’s story. I read A Dog’s Purpose after Braxton’s death but couldn’t continue with more lost furries. Braxton will always have a place here, but I’ve been stuck on Sunday, January 31, 2021. Hmm, maybe that’s why I’m into time travel. I’ve stopped doing it myself when it comes to my writing. That’s me being lazy. Besides that, I’m between being all-in on The Tomorrow War on Amazon. And finishing The Great De-evolution. Now there’s The Theta Patient and The Theta Timeline by Chris Dietzel. Trying to make history better. No, Lady Sophia, I’m not a Republican.

Like M Anime, though, I can’t say I’m a fan of the other side either. I talked about ranting to Braxton yesterday. I swear it’s the same story every single day. Some rich white guy or Republican escaping justice. There are only so many times you can see that story.

Meanwhile, if I want to see more stories of the horrors of the world, “Soulmates.” Next to seeing Braxton in his own bed, dying on that hospital table, geez. When I turn off the lights, I keep thinking I will bump into Reyansh or Anaisha’s dead bodies. A horrific crime. Ain’t like they didn’t warn the viewers. No fine print. In the aftermath, they wrote, “while you were watching this film, a girl was raped.”

If we were to talk about all my views on sex that I’ve written and when they’ll come out… “A good question – for another time.” I’d rather talk about Onlyfans expelling “explicit sexual content” come October. I’m not much to look at Lady Sophia but damn, a bit much. While I’m busy quoting “The Force Awakens,” how about “Serenity.” “I’m not going to live there. There’s no place for me there.” What I mean by that is who I am. I always feel like I’m in the way. At most, I’m some filler story for someone. At least, a few wasted words, a joke, not to be remembered at all. Considering the Day Job, I hope so. But my son? So A B-Story’s Place

201 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 049 ~A Bark Named Braxton~

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Well, I’m saving a mess load of trees by not going through with publishing. I’m not annoying my neighbors, but I’ve cussed many men out for talking about B. And should I balk, bark, and bitch about that movie Soulmates? A Bark Named Braxton

Thursday, August 19, 2021

Chronicle 049 ~A Bark Named Braxton~

200 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You know I buy fries as much for myself as I do for you, B.

If you were anyone else, what would I say? Today was terrible, horrible, it sucked? As usual, “Humiliations Galore.” I bring food home, and we both stuff our faces, and then I drift off to sleep. On any given afternoon, I crawl into bed. You hold back the world, B. By the time I wake up, we would talk about any number of things. Last night I watched the Gofobo film festival. There was one film, “Soulmates.” I’ve viewed some disturbing leanings but damn, Braxton. With trying to forget about that (and I shouldn’t, nor should anyone else). I ended up voting for “Don’t Forget To Tip.” Speaking of voting, you remember how I ranted. YouTube SIGH. I’m pretty much a crazy man now that you aren’t here to listen.

Of course, what do I call this then? I didn’t even take my nap today. Too busy crying. It’s been 200 days, and I even said I was going to cry plenty today. Once this AM, then when I was on my way back. I ain’t going to lie, once at the Day Job, then while I was sitting here. How I wish I could be all romantic, dramatic, and melancholy crying into your book. I tell you this B III, trees are a lot safer with me around than you. If you could have seen the backyard, I was literally growing trees. The last time the yard looked decent… Saturday, January 30, 2021, B III. Your last walk besides going to your water bowl.

I wish I had your strength and I could get your book published. Hell, I can’t even walk downstairs most days and set myself to write or indeed edit. “My Turn to B III” yeah. Only in my dreams, and I did dream about you Wednesday. All the visions I have written out. But I knew that I was dreaming when I saw you. You didn’t bark. What’s to interpret? I’ll leave that to others when I get around to getting my tattoo. Yeah, I can see you giving me that look. It was as if you could read between the lines. Worthless words. Braxton, you had paws for a reason. Your barks are worth more than most voices. Speaking of A Bark Named Braxton.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 047 ~Birds And The B~

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Braxton, can you try not to hump the company. True story. B will give me one of his looks like, “well, Dad, if you’re not going to.” He was his father’s son, and sooner or later, I will have to give “The Talk,” someday, among others. Birds And The B.

Tuesday, August 17, 2021

Chronicle 047 ~Birds And The B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I never had it in me to have Braxton neutered. I’m a responsible parent, Ha-Ha.

This could be the second most feared conversation for a parent to have. The Birds and the Bees. Aren’t our kids a bit too young for that? Braxton was already an old man when I felt I needed to have such a conversation somehow. Braxton loved my third best friend. Hell, I never got “The Talk.” Everything I learned came from late nights with Cinemax. There was my discovery of Japanese Anime, and I mean more than Adult Swim. Hentai. I can tell you all about the first night I met Braxton. As for puberty, I rather forget it all. Well, I turned out alright… or instead Life, uh finds a way. Does Love? Well, I have us; we have a family, but a dog?

I don’t look forward to discipline. There is a song that goes, “Son, fear is the heart of love.” I will not be that sort of a father making our kids afraid. But how to talk to them at all? Now between the two of us, I hope they share our likes. But if they turn out to be jocks, religious, conservative, or prefer Star Trek to Star Wars. Um, have a little common sense. Then there is the idea of having a pet. You’ve seen first-hand what Braxton’s loss did to me. My Olds went through the wringer in their marriage but never got divorced. One of the few traditions I intend to carry on. Plus, I ain’t my father. Explaining a pet’s death.

There is so much you can teach a kid. You know how I am with music. “Son what you don’t understand. My words might never explain.” If I was a bit more like Robin Williams. I can speak of death. I can’t explain the feeling. Holding a dying love, waiting. The most I’ll give my Olds and God may I be a better man now than having to depend on them. Anyway, my relationship with them “it’s complicated.” Braxton and I… now that was love. You and I, this family. We’re okay, I say. Did anyone tell you how, though? I promised Braxton, but I don’t have his barks anymore. The birds and the bees are silent now. What is love? Birds And The B

198 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 043 ~To B Some Monster~

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With all the crimes I’ve committed, it’s the one that nobody says was a crime that I wish had a punishment. Hell, Jason didn’t do anything in the first movie really until the end and the others. I can’t have others… Not trying To B Some Monster.

Friday, August 13, 2021

Chronicle 043 ~To B Some Monster~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, more like Joe Millionaire. Okay, I’m only Joe, well Will. But if PCH comes by, um…

The point is I wouldn’t brag. I wouldn’t shout it from the rooftops. Hell, I would have to learn how to open the windows first in this house, and that’s a whole other story. Today is supposed to be about B’s. You ever heard about Scream Queens? A Barking Prince? Braxton lived with a monster forever, and for 15 + years, he survived. I wonder what I looked like to him. Of course, the best case being his Daddy. That’s always my hope but considering how I look at my “father.” And again, after these last few weeks. Asshole! Sophia, if that’s all I was, I could cope. I even told M Anime I like the mask, but yeah, I got terrible teeth SIGH.

Only every day when I’m at the Day Job, and I take a break. I’m sitting there in the coat/locker room, trying to stay out of the way. “Oops, you scared me, Will,” that’s what. Every time I write something down, what happens. It’s a miracle I don’t have the cops swarming me now. With Monday’s accident, I wouldn’t be surprised, which is a worry. Speaking of concerns, the only people I think I can talk to about them all I do is bring them down. With Braxton’s blood on my hands doesn’t mean I have to make friends messy. The Horror, the Horror of being me. Of my mere existence, breathing, beating, the basics of life. Jason was dead. Oh, look, Friday the 13th.

Yet Jason wasn’t some B-Movie monster. Lady Sophia, I know Braxton wasn’t some drunk or fucking around teenager. There were those two months we were separated and his aunt’s wedding… I’m not being asked to save the world like “The Tomorrow War.” I don’t even have the “option” of leaving it like “The Last Astronaut.” I almost left B III. Never like that, I mean when I almost killed myself so many years ago. Could I have done better as a ghost, a specter, whatever it was that room “1408” was, an evil fucking room? No, I had to be a zombie or some psycho. Now I’m worried about being arrested again like before Braxton got sick… Is that ACCEPTANCE? Trying To B Some Monster.

194 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 042 ~B Smart About It~

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I may not be a smart man; no, that’s it. B III was heart, gave me guts, and I ask myself if I only had a brain. B was asking for some kidneys. And I didn’t start learning about them until it was too late. Yet I read trying to “B Smart About It.”

Thursday, August 12, 2021

Chronicle 042 ~B Smart About It~

193 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You can guess how mine went considering we’re talking right now. Sorry, I’m so late.

Another one of many apologies me being late. Pretty damn late seeing you hurting Braxton. Everything I should have gotten to make your life easier, there was always another time. Braxton, I’m thinking about that accident I got into Monday that made me late returning. It’s not like you’re here waiting, but it’s the first time I was pretty anxious to get back. You know I would rather be in bed than anywhere else or on the couch reading. Again one more reason I’m late. I’ve been getting into the Great De-evolution series of novels. Talking about how the world ends, yeah, it wasn’t a bang or a whimper, not even a bark. When my world ended, it was only with your silence B III.

I told M Anime the other day that I can’t stand stupidity for stupidity’s sake. You weren’t dumb, B. You only thought the humans you knew were. I can’t blame you for that. Is that why you were so content to lie there as I read so many nights? I get you, helping me out. All you need know was I was there and so were you, and that was that, my smart boy B. How I once talked about Love for this and that girl. But what the hell did I know, B III. 15+ years to learn that word, Love. I didn’t believe it was a prize but a gift, um Aloe Blacc.
Love is a choice, at least to a certain extent.

I believe it is a form of madness as well. Only you found a way to have such peace, Braxton. Oh, I’m only “Human,” an “Ordinary Human,” with a “Human Nature,” um B stop me. Yeah, I could go on forever and a day. Still, on top of driving better, I write better with you. Now reading, I read “The Hauntings of Playing God” when you were here. Yet I’ve read about everything on the Great De-evolution since. A man and his brother, a man and his son. A teacher with her students, a man, and his cat. Guess what they all have in common. No wonder the guy decided to become The Last Astronaut, but he wasn’t so bright. Me, B Smart About It.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 040 ~B Team Breaking Down~

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Whenever Braxton and I had an accident, stepped on his paw, his nail stuck in a collar, the time he got smacked when I saw a bunch of bullies getting their asses kicked… It was only a matter of time I had an accident with people. B Team Breaking Down

Tuesday, August 10, 2021

Chronicle 040 ~B Team Breaking Down~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and like most, I believe the world is still going to Hell. So I thought yesterday.

Talk to me, all you like about 2020. No, My Love, 2021 has been the worst year ever. It is beating out the year I was born. Now that’s saying a lot which reminds me I should call in about you know what, eww. I’m not getting any younger, and being an old man sucks. There’s a difference between being an old man, the old man, and your old man baby girl. Yesterday I realized how old I was, and we’ll get to that. It was so exhausting, my god. Can’t call me B’s old man, his daddy anymore though I continue to. The audacity. Every day My Love, I try to be like the man I was. No, that’s a lie. That’s forgetting Braxton.

What about forgetting any good driving record, sigh? Yesterday I… like last week I must be careful with my words. Okay, so yesterday afternoon I had a “car accident” with this lady. No injuries; my car seems okay. No harm, no foul; people being agreeable. Forgetfulness is not my strong suit when it comes to pain. THEY ask me about Braxton. Why can’t I “move on?” It’s been 191 Days since B left. Hell, yesterday, I used my pain over losing him to not think about the fender bender. Those tears washed away the fear. Of course, it hasn’t been 24 hours. So I’ve been using everything from Songbird to Succubus, followed by Strahovski. Why not lean on you, Love?

Well, you see what happened to Braxton. When it comes to my first family… yes, I’m being a dick here because I called my old man, and my Ma called a couple of hours later. So I learned like Scrooged ahem “Scrape ’em off. You wanna save somebody? Save yourself!” I hate that movie, by the way, or at least, think Groundhog Day is better. I prefer Happy Death Day, to be honest. What about Edge of Tomorrow since I’ve been all about The Tomorrow War? Anyway, my point is I don’t need anyone breaking down, breaking up, or just breaking because of me. With Braxton, I had to be strong because that’s his life. Only I’m broken, and it’ll take time, putting myself back together. B Team Breaking Down.

191 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will