Tag: Excuses

Lesson 154 ~Where’s The Next Mountain~

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How do you make a mountain out of a molehill, the same way you write any book with just one word, one true sentence as Ernest Hemingway put it about something I think I know, and then I know nothing, so the question becomes… Where’s The Next Mountain

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Lesson 154 ~Where’s The Next Mountain~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, but those that I’m waiting to create, can I not bask in victory for a few moments, the climb was ugly, brutal, and to be honest the view isn’t much, but the fact is I did it right? So what next, when I’m not planning my next waste of time, I’m bust playing catch-up, and that’s not going to well either, as I continue to play the gay best friend to several lonely women apparently.

If anything I should just swear off women, what’s it been about twelve days and while I have given up one vice yet again, I’ve bumped into three women, I swear my phone is a curse. Excuse me for sharing this with you and not Lady Sophia, my writing was supposed to bring freedom was it not and instead, my rules have been getting some attention as of late. Even now this one married woman wants to talk while her husband chases a squirrel and no I’m not planning on going down that road again.

The day job continues to as Negan would say “Suck Ass” and something stupid might come of it sooner rather than later, but I just repeat to myself “I need this job” and of course there is a mountain I am nowhere prepared for if I lose it. As far as other jobs, email has become one, another I don’t get paid for, not to mention friendship which explains me being so late talking to you, and what it’s not that late there is just so much to do. It could be worse, the holidays and yes I have to do some shopping myself but how I miss my solitude, is that why I chose the NaNoWriMo mountain, good excuse.

What better way to ignore everyone than creation, you know I’m not a man of faith but do you think God has his regrets with his loneliness to create humanity and then he watches such madness take hold and is left trying to fix it possibly? I made myself a world, and in January I will be asked to flush out that world to make it, I don’t know something that will never truly be seen by anyone I bet.

So what have we learned today other than I’m sitting on the mountain and by the time I get to the molehill it will be another mountain, what to call it Where’s The Next Mountain?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 126 ~What’s One More Hour~

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One more hour, now tell me what are you going to do with it, other than breathing I have no clue and I don’t want to lie to you or to myself as if I’ll be looking back at this at some point. What’s One More Hour, really?

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Lesson 126 ~What’s One More Hour~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear but one more hour to try and convince myself of that, to think I keep asking for more time and then how do I spend it, well we’re here aren’t we? How many more hours shall I waste, excusing my day job which is the biggest time suck and then the time it takes to recover as though I’ve been through Hell and haven’t I?

That’s already two questions and I propose a third… what the Hell am I doing with my life, how quickly I forget which is why I keep a journal and nobody ever reads it, I’m a secret even from myself. If it’s not my body asking for more downtime, it’s my mind being left in a fog, I couldn’t hold on to a thought for the life of me. Am I once again suicidal, that’s usually a given but I am practicing a lot, what’s with all the sleep again?

Death, of course, is inevitable but so is Black Friday, a day that’s slightly better than the worse day of my entire life and last year was not a picnic. We also have another anniversary of the 5th of November, to think I almost forgot about “Senseless” and will I be telling, you know who about that past sin of mine? Of course, the simplest solution is just to work now and maybe, just maybe, there will be time enough at last, as though I was a Mr. Henry Bemis.

For being so obsessed with time as I am, I can’t help but waste it, even this moment, and I don’t mean talking to you I mean just doing what I claim to enjoy, to like, dare I say, love? I’ve spent today doing everything else saying that once it gets done I can write, cleaning my inbox, working on playlists, trying to organize everything but my words as again you can see right here.

As they say be careful what you wish for, more time, more excuses, more sleep, more dread, I can fill that time with anything and everything and then you wonder why I need to rest. Another saying, many hands make light work and yes Luna I know what that really means but how many clocks do I have and less time, what’s one more hour?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 118 ~Penny For My Thoughts~

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I get paid for people to tell me I’m not working hard enough, I’m replaceable, and I don’t know anything, and the sad thing it’s more than any word has ever gotten me which is probably why I’m still doing it. Penny For My Thoughts

Friday, October 27, 2017

Lesson 118 ~Penny For My Thoughts~

“A penny for my thoughts, oh, no, I’ll sell ’em for a dollar
They’re worth so much more after I’m a goner” The Band Perry

Hey Lady Sophia
No Fear, at least I don’t think it’s fear that’s making me waste my time, waste my money, and if I listened to a selective minority, waste my talent, and that’s truly something I have no fear of, potential. If anything that goes on my hated words list, next to interesting and the sound of my own name, people talking about potential and maybe it’s mean to say but not everybody has that and the people that do are told this because other people want to use them, not my parents though.

“No. No, no no no. Fuck you, you don’t owe it to yourself man, you owe it to me. Cuz tomorrow I’m gonna wake up and I’ll be 50, and I’ll still be doin’ this shit. And that’s all right. That’s fine. I mean, you’re sittin’ on a winnin’ lottery ticket. And you’re too much of a pussy to cash it in, and that’s bullshit. ‘Cause I’d do fuckin’ anything to have what you got. So would any of these fuckin’ guys. It’d be an insult to us if you’re still here in 20 years. Hangin’ around here is a fuckin’ waste of your time.” Ben Affleck, Good Will Hunting

Speaking of mean, that might be a reason that I haven’t really been writing in days, besides my hated work schedule and that’s something I would rather yell in their faces. No, my novella and you know that is simply a study in me being, petty and cruel to two people, not to mention selfish, I’ve been all sorts of selfish in everything from, writing, to texting, even tonight when I should probably be begging, I’m good at that, I’m ignoring her too. Words cost us Lady Sophia and maybe I’m choosing to be a miser once again but I’m actually losing more than I’m gaining and hell how many artists become famous when they’re dead; why I never have any pressure from my olds.

No real pressure from anybody, not that I miss some writers’ constant emails, a few book reviews and yeah nobody is asking for my words anymore. I will keep my word to one, I am a man of my word or so I like to imagine but it just hurts you know to see everybody else continuing with their work and how about mine, how long did it take me to work on my blog last night? NaNoWriMo is coming up as well and didn’t I specifically say I wanted to take part in that but as always I write excuses, I feel like I’m in third or fourth grade again, one of those years I got by doing maybe zero homework but the excuses?

You can’t run from destiny or maybe I’m just lost which is my most common theme, we learn to walk just so we can imagine lounging all day, we talk but are in search of quiet, we drive as we dream of the sky. Is that it, I mean it’s no secret I want to be rich and any singer, athlete, or artist who says they do it strictly for passion and would be more than willing to stay as they are before the fame is lying, seriously to be heard…

Am I worth be listened to, Penny For My Thoughts

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 111 ~Will’s Write of Way~

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Why aren’t you writing, well what do I call this, like today walking around my job trying to drown myself at the water fountain because I was in pain, I suppose people look at my writing in much the same way. Will’s Write of Way, just the facts.

Friday, October 20, 2017

Lesson 111 ~Will’s Write of Way~

Hey Lady Sophia
No Fear, at least not anymore, still I wonder what scares me more the truth or the fiction, it has definitely been the truth that has been wearing me out honestly when it comes to my own writing. I heard somewhere if you have a choice between the truth and the legend, then always print the legend but still reality and today.

“Indiana Gone” might kick my ass for not working on my own novel… again but I can write excuses like nobody’s business so what shall it be today? I honestly put in a solid eight hours, what’s to be said for any man that does that, isn’t that just the way of the world? My writing technically is only supposed to take seven but that doesn’t pay well, or even at all not to mention all the spam lately, which brings up another point, what about my blog lately *sigh*.

Having to wake up at two in the morning isn’t helping the cause but you want the truth, how about this, why wake up at two for a job I hate and yet lie on my ass until who knows when for something I actually enjoy doing, somedays at least. That also brings up why I’m not reading today either, did I mention eight hours and then having to do this bout of honesty, if anything at least I have been keeping my word to write every day even if it’s crap. Don’t get me started but I’m looking at that candy bar I had for breakfast; what I always have one at work but that will be another rule at some point, food plus my anxiety equals no fun.

Then there’s my wannabe, Casanova antics, okay maybe I shouldn’t go that far but I haven’t been this busy with women since the days of America Online, may it R.I.P. now a day doesn’t go by when I’m not busy not getting busy, did I just show my age? Last but not least all this new hacking this and gotta be careful that, sometimes I wish I could go back to before the internet and writing god knows how many pages of a novel involving turkeys overtaking the whole world.

If anything at least I’m writing, not a lesson but always a statement of fact because of my creativity… truth is Will’s Write of Way.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 104 ~Infinite Lives, Cheat Codes~

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Do I really want to “cheat” with writing, if anything it is the truest sing I know, even if what I write is fiction, at least to a certain degree no doubt? “Infinite Lives, Cheat Codes” when I should be writing something more substantial, maybe?

Friday, October 13, 2017

Lesson 104 ~Infinite Lives, Cheat Codes~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear, though this is a video game reference, infinite lives, and cheat codes, I haven’t picked up a controller in months though, years possibly. I’m a sucker for a good story though which is what brings us here, with the term good loosely defined of course.

I swear one day, not someday I’m going to write down every single reason I want to be a writer, but wouldn’t it be better spent writing out my story. Shouldn’t I be working on my novella, “Degrees of Falling” that, of course, is a working title, I’ve also so considered’ “Hot Air” and why did I start working on this story again? Maybe I’m getting all warmed up for NaNoWriMo, do you think I’m honestly going to go for it this year Lady Sophia?

Too bad I can’t write excuses for a living, the latest being my hands are exhausted, seriously they are so sore, and I wish I could at least tell you I punched someone in the face or that I have been doing something productive, other than making money, do I even have a rule about making money. Isn’t that the point of all this, is I was writing to make money then I suppose it wouldn’t be worth it, not to mention what sort of man would that make me; perhaps an educated one if I were reading at least. What about if I ever get famous, I’m going to have to be signing books, so would I complain about my hands then, that’s funny.

Unlike my novella, no wait that can be awfully funny too that I think I’ll ever get anywhere with it, yeah I’m talking to you because I need to talk about my work but I still don’t have to be positive about it, do I? That’s yet another reason that I want to be a writer because maybe I got it all wrong you know, I speak about immortality but maybe you build a life, you lose it, and repeat.

It certainly would explain how weak I get after each go-round or maybe I’m just channeling “Happy Death Day” another review I should be writing but I’m barely keeping up here. Should the question here be, what have I written today, besides talking to you, *sigh* there is always tomorrow indeed, Infinite Lives, Cheat Codes.

I Will Have No Fear

When Rules Yield

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When does it become a rule, advice, some idea, a belief that suddenly becomes something that can’t be broken and then again all great leaders break the rules, only to bring about new ones and the like? “When Rules Yield”, time to make rules

How high do you want your crown to be?
A big head, hopes, dreams, wishes, or a word to the sun
that everything it touches belongs to me
So let it be written, so let it be done

As I will go the distance
without exception, excuse or edict
Where truth has always found admittance
Read it, See it, Believe it

Like you were stoned by God himself
Or she wasn’t a princess, an angel, a goddess but a girl
who could fly as high, and was as deep as any nuke in the Commonwealth
And yet the world

Is hers, yours, mine… am I a fool
Weighed, and measured, found wanting to rule

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

First Slam Problems

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I was arrested when I was a kid so you would figure being an “adult” would give me some appreciation of freedom in this big wide wonderful world and yet I spend most of my time in a box. First Slam Problems, and second, third

Will it be chicken, sausage, maybe ham
all three and even more
but I really should get out the door

as I’ve never seen a match, a game, athletes on the lam
that some would call tradition
or tell me that wrestling is fiction

And I could always claim a traffic jam
I don’t walk or run, I’m allergic to the sun
Excuses I have a ton

So what’s one more slam,
when I’m here and free
Just not to be me…

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lesson 073 ~Bursting At The Seams~

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Things I’m not into, talking in my sleep or self- harm and yet a word came out and how does one go about cutting the back of their own neck. “Bursting At The Seams”, it’s tearing me apart Luna or something like that I suspect, any thoughts?

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Lesson 073 ~Bursting At The Seams~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, I don’t normally talk in my sleep but I swear right on cue as the alarms began buzzing the word “burst” was on my lips and I can’t fathom why? Is this going to be one of those nonsensical posts which just makes no sense and is better left screamed into a pillow, now where is the fun in that?

Speaking of which, when was the last time that I screamed ever, I was on the verge, and this is one of those things that just doesn’t do well in print, is that why I want to be louder, get others to do it for me, maybe I need some godawful tragedy. Am I that much of a heartless bastard, I already told you, I’ve been forgetting things, like having a stake in Hurricane Irma, hell I don’t but I still remember exactly where I was when 9/11 happened, haven’t I been talking about the days of “Sapphire”. Yet another reason I talk to you, because all my crap seems juvenile, compared to the greater troubles of the universe right?

Which gets us back to today’s lesson and how it must have taken a hell of a lot to get that one word out of me in my sleep, something out loud with nothing but Braxton to hear me and between me, you, and him we’re great listeners but not such smooth talkers. How about talking in general because I can’t figure out how I got the cut on the back of my neck, I mean it’s easy to say that Braxton did but I can’t confirm it. I came up with a joke today that either my dog or my bitch did it but that’s exactly the type of humor that gets you fired and I was tempting fate

I was on the cusp though Lady Lu, I could feel it in my bones, I mean how my novel is so bloated, I come up with excuses by the truck load to not talk, not in front of customers, chicken biscuits, and other people have their worries. The mask is starting to slip again, I kept quiet around one manager and another saw, a bit of my face too.

So what have I learned today or rather thought… maybe something inside me is trying to get out, and if I can’t find my voice, damn censorship but something is truly Bursting at The Seams.

I Will Have No Fear

ROAR Excuses

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“Let no man forget how menacing we are, we are lions!” Troy – and people now hunt them for sport, taking away that roar and not just what was once thought the fiercest of the beast. “ROAR Excuses”, what are my reasons to not speak

He roared and lost his jungle
reminding me, what’s mine no more
So I grunt and I grumble

They oinked and mooed
but this is what I came for
How was it all I knew

as it rustled and was cut down
Am I not moved to my core
And I wore a frown

only for her to speak without a clue,
really… no, my smile found its way to the floor
“Skeevy, inappropriate, stupid, that’s you”

Then my cries became mumbles
My eyes they did tumble
Maybe I just needed food
After, my tongue shall not be moved
No one wanted me around,
unless I pretended to be a clown
a mine not enjoying the view
Yet there was nothing I could do
with the voice, I had before
as the lion can no longer teach me how to ROAR

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Mattress Goals

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It’s a small world after all… everything I need on one street, a girl or “the girl” could be pretty close, and my bed is awfully big enough then again… I’ve never had another person in it. “Mattress Goals”… I want to share but love on the edge…

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfBtqlFAz5Y

So they make the bed bigger
for your halo and wings instead
Do you fear you’ll fall off the edge?
and so it figures

the nights would grow longer
Yeah I’m that type of monster
Perhaps you are stronger
Close your eyes and wander

As the stars grow too numerous
Wishes, star-crossed
Let’s get lost
Humorous

While I come up with a million excuses
To not say somethin’ stupid, like I love you
But hoping you’ll love me like you do
Only a man uses

everything… but has one heart
It’s so powerful
Still it’s doubtful
I’ll find you… when we’re so far apart

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inspired By: Yuffie Kisaragi … Final Fantasy VII, Eminem ft. Rihanna “Monster”, Kanye West “Stronger”, Ernie Halter “Close Your Eyes and Wander”, Beck and Bat For Lashes “Let’s Get Lost”, Glee Cast “Somethin’ Stupid (Glee Cast Version)”, Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack, Lifehouse “Everything”, Major Lazer ft. Ellie Goulding and Tarrus Riley “Powerful”, and Audien ft. Lady Antebellum “Something Better”