Tag: Fear

Log 303 ~In Lust Will Trust~

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Just waking up or heading to bed, a late night shower, or before having to deal with people in the plague era. I tell myself it could always be worse, and I don’t have to ask the question, “Am I A Psycho,” great song by the way. “In Lust Will Trust.”

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Log 303 ~In Lust Will Trust~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Well, that’s because I don’t drink, though if I were a chick… Yes, I know Inspector Echo, that’s disrespectful to women. One more addiction I have, right? Well, I don’t smoke, I’ve never done HARD drugs. Unlike people in this day and age, I’ve never been addicted to social life. Hell several books written, none published. My blog will have been around three years in a few months. My poetry phase about The Winx Club when I was on LSD. I wish I could say I was only addicted to writing.

Trigging Factor: Blog 503 Error

  1. Cherry’s Glossy Lips
  2. Boob Search
  3. Katee Owen
  4. Holly Bryn
  5. Elizabeth Hurley
  6. Alyssa Milano
  7. Holly Marie Combs (Breaking Point)

Again I’m not a drinker. I figured alcoholics would drink anything for their buzz. As for me, you see, I’m always one for the “Top Shelf” HELLO. Not funny, but I do have a problem. With all this time off, I could start back with Brainbuddy, but like the WWE Network, I wouldn’t be watching it. Of course, I’ve started seeing ads again for Covenant Eyes, but “THEY” also think I’m a Republican and a Trump Supporter. Now let me say some things about Trump and watch me get into trouble. No Inspector Echo I go no further than the second circle. You know how Bruce Banner said That’s my secret, Cap. I’m always angry.

That’s my secret, Inspector. I’m always horny. Only yesterday, I was trying to convince myself that’s what love is… I’m not wrong. There’s no question.

Love is wild, insatiable, insane, at times, immoral. Don’t believe me, let something harm My Dæmon, and see that I won’t burn this world to ash to protect him. Anger, though, I can let go. We’re still amidst the plague, which is keeping me away from people for the most part. Lust though is everywhere, and I’ve told you before I can’t be the typical guy. One of those, see a naked girl, nut, and go to bed. I didn’t know who Katee Owen and Holly Bryn were until last night. If anything, that’s why I want to make LUST my profession because I practice, it’s not a phase, and I write plenty of prose.

Is it destroying me, though? I’m better than this, sorry, but In Lust Will Trust.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 301 ~Live The Villain, Heroes Die~

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Whose side did I take, Captain America vs. Iron Man? And no, I’m not one for T’Challa as I liked Killmonger sitting on the throne of the Wakandan Empire. There’s always the thought of Deadshot and Harley (Homer drool). “Live The Villain, Heroes Die.”

Monday, April 27, 2020

Log 301 ~Live The Villain, Heroes Die~

Hundred And Thirty-Fourth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I didn’t do that being nice. Don’t get me wrong, Madam Justice, compared to most “I’m all right,” a point if you get the Firefly reference. While I’m on the subject of Firefly and Serenity, do you want to know the definition of a hero? Someone who gets others killed. One more reason I like villains because I don’t abide liars. Okay, so I’ll lie to save my behind, but I prefer not to put myself in such situations. I hate being the victim, playing the hero, but to live the villain, hell, I’m a writer.

Three reasons why I don’t write heroes. Number one again, I don’t like lying. I write fiction, but I don’t lie. It’s like the difference between the songs “I Wanna Love You” and “I Wanna F*ck You.” One four-letter word, but how many times must I say words matter. The second reason is I had an epiphany. I wrote nicely about women for a very long time, and where did that get me? I watched other guys drop some girls’ panties. Yet my words were considered stalkerish. Some were ignored altogether. What has netted me the most attention? Finally, I thought it was tough living up to the heroes. To have such stories told forever, to know constant stress. I’m not a hero Madam Justice because I’m stronger. I picked the path that puts me against the world. When I have (human) kids of my own, I don’t want them following me. I want them to greet the world, With Arms Wide Open, thanks Creed.

I should also thank Todd Michaels because all of a sudden, I want to read “Begging For It” again. Besides wanting my children to have a better example like Rabbit for a father. What about Dolly for a Mother? If you’ve read Sick Fux, you have my attention. Anyway, I have to live long enough to have a woman of my own, which means just that, living. As I said, heroes get stories and songs. Only the good die young, no good deed and the like. Last night I dreamt about Ozymandias, and of course, I don’t know his whole story. If anything, though, I wrote once “Lesson 050 A Comedian Died Today.” I’m not a comedian, a victim, or someone who saves, I’m Me.

Live The Villain, Heroes Die

I Will Have No Fear

Log 300 ~Will Of The Month~

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Well, it’s been almost one whole month, more than that considering the Coronavirus and what do I have to show for it. Nearly finished editing a book, read two probably. Will Of The Month, well there goes half my stimulus check but if I got out of bed

Sunday, April 26, 2020

Log 300 ~Will Of The Month~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so ask the song goes (breaks out Ellie Goulding style) “What are you waiting for?” It’s what the Dæmon asks you each morning. Now I blame myself that I forgot about the “nails in the collar” incident last week. I still need to get those cut. The thing is I want you to look at what day it is, what log. Yes, Math still sucks, but this month has been one of a very few Opportunities. What have you done with it? I don’t mean to yell or bombard you with music like my Dear Future Wife.

Hell, you might be better off if I did because I love her, but do I love myself? Shouldn’t I make that into the goal, to care for me? Considering I touch the gun once a day and Academy and Amazon suck for various reasons. While I’ve been busy counting the days, allow me to sound cliché, but you should be making the days count; another goal? How I hope that when you read this, you’re not still sitting in bed. Last night (Thursday), I tried okay. I got four hours and twenty-five minutes, of sleep, and of course, what happened? I keep asking myself that, whenever I read my The Eve of a Cherry. Well, not read, edit. The month is almost over, and a pornographic fairytale is about all I have to show for it. I haven’t had the balls to listen to the work CEO. How about daring these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
    Failed
  6. I AM Writing 25,000 Words, Camp NaNoWriMo “The Eve of a Cherry”
    Failed

#1 is so damn hard, and #5 is so scary, and I don’t even know how to judge it anymore. Again with one, I was thinking of replacing the word “Horny” with “Toxic.” Of course, at the moment, it has been only a day and a few hours. Another goal, go the month. As far as Norton, you’ll be paying for protection, but there’s no longer any peace of mind to be had there. A new year for them and by Friday a new month for you. Do you remember where you thought you would be? I’m always speaking of the future. Two days ahead. And by next month, you’ll be talking to Lady Sophia. Telling her, you finished another book but Six Impossible Things.

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
  6. I AM Finishing Editing For Camp NaNoWriMo “The Eve of a Cherry”

Use this month, as one of your motivations go impose your “Will” Of The Month.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 299 ~Well That’s Sick Will~

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The tip of the iceberg knowing why this is happening. Who am I to speak on it knowing what I want to write for a living. STUPIDITY is the real sickness, but I’m staying at the house, and I’m not fighting to stay broke. “Well That’s Sick Will” ha

Saturday, April 25, 2020

Log 299 ~Well That’s Sick Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and being in the 1%, with a bunker, bullets, and bombs, don’t can’t forget about the babes. Lady Lu, I would be doing what the wealthy are doing now. Only I’m not, so why do I think this all had to happen with the Coronavirus (COVID-19).

The American Dream Lady Luna. You know I’ll be the first to admit that I’m lazy, but I have the Day Job. I have enough money to see myself and My Dæmon throughout the week. Every payday, I would budget barely enough for a movie, some fast food, some porn. One-week, Lady Lu and society collapses. People can’t survive a week without a paycheck. It doesn’t sound like much of an economy to me or LIFE. Save enough for a rainy day, I hear. Who thinks that $1,200 will restart the economy and for what, a return to the status quo? Not trying to sound like Jacob Seed here, but “cull the herd!” People are dying for the rich, and so be it if they wish. I don’t know how to stop it. THEY advise you shouldn’t find your passion for the money, but I am a writer. If you can’t beat them as they say well, join them, sigh.

I can’t save the world either. It cheers me, though, that this might be Mother Nature’s way of stopping us. Hell, I only drive once a week now. Now I’m not an environmentalist or anything, but I’m not a killer either. Outside of my stories, at least. The world is fighting back against the plague, which is people. You know I can relate, minus the zombies I’m living a very minor apocalypse fantasy. On top of everything being wiped out, there’s the plague of STUPIDITY.

Of course, this leads me to President Trump shudders. Here’s a problem not of his making so he can’t fix it. All the tweets and rants won’t stop the Coronavirus. It won’t vanish whit the next news cycle; it is omnipresent. I am not a righteous man, but this plague I somewhat consider divine retribution. A guilty man goes free, and nobody will stop him, so now the world has ended. All I know is I’m not fighting to stay broke, I dream of being better… Wednesday night, well dammit.

Money, Mother, and Morons, the Coronavirus, Well That’s Sick Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 298 ~Will To Be Believed~

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“Trust me,” “believe me,” the people that usually start with that are generally lying, which is why I never ask you to. Most days, I’m like Tidus from Final Fantasy X, only wanting somebody to listen but SIGH. Will To Be Believed.

Friday, April 24, 2020

Log 298 ~Will To Be Believed~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I say that every day but do I believe it? Lady Sophia, I should get back into listening to my Motivations, the Money playlist. How about the Man in the Mirror? The things I’ve been reading and hearing I don’t want to trust but me?

Let’s start with The Eve of a Cherry, which is a work of fiction, of course. Like yesterday I don’t want to believe that I could be that sick. If anything, I don’t want to know this as “my sickness” at all. I want to write, and yet like most of the things I do in life, I want to protect others. M Anime talks about wanting to be law enforcement. Hell, I break so many laws on a day to day basis. I know, I still owe an explanation about my views on the country. Don’t I always say tomorrow? Now that’s something I want to believe in, but where will I be. Writing more words that I might as well call lies. No, again, it’s fiction, but I’m like one of my characters, which is pretty bad. Indiana Gone and Cherry would tell me to believe in myself.

Believe in something right or fall for anything, so yet one more day, I’m in the right place. I haven’t made the bed in days, and that’s because of what happens after our conversations. You want some facts, I’m going to eat and then I’m going to take a nap. If Fiction and Nonfiction have any agreements, it’s in the fact that they both take hard work. Do I call it fiction what I’m telling NaNoWriMo? I did write 50,000 words, only not all in one month. 19,200 last month and then expansion and still it’s like I’m a CHEATER.

One more word I’m starting to hate. Why do you think I have to remember such beauty? Once upon a time, I could tell you the name of the original 150 Pokémon. Now I can tell you the name of so many cosplayers, cute pornstars, and characters that I refer to as, well. It’s not a nice word in the states. Only I know an Australian Mom. I want to believe in women, in writing, and in the world I one day want to build.

Who am I though Lady Sophia; Will To Be Believed.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 297 ~Will’s Pandemic Porn Parodies~

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My entire life is a parody of the life I should be living. Like Sheldon Cooper, I do believe in many universes, and I do enjoy the Big Bang Theory XXX reality. Still, I’m pretty “sick” no not with COVID-19. “Will’s Pandemic Porn Parodies” or not

Thursday, April 23, 2020

Log 297 ~Will’s Pandemic Porn Parodies~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but if I’m going to Hell, it won’t because of GREED. Yes, I’m greedy as all Hell, but I always saw myself as Circle Two material, LUST. That’s where my sickness resides. Now you probably thought this would be all about Coronavirus (COVID-19), of course.

Better to stick with the sickness, I do have Dirty Diana. For example, and I know this isn’t right, but the horror stories women tell and a few men. Now when I talk about men, I do mean S. Wolf and Todd Michael, authors. You know I like far too many female erotic authors. This week I’ve been looking over Pornographic Parodies. Don’t get me wrong here, “Big Bang Theory: A XXX Parody” has its moments, ah Beverly Hills. My point is, though, it’s the REAL stories that turn me on. I’ve told you about Court Carmody. Only what about Eileen Kelly, Angie Varona, Miriam Weeks, aka Belle Knox, or Stormy Daniels. Some others I’m not STUPID enough to mention. I saw this post about a pornstar sometime back who had been hurt. What is wrong with my head, right?

There was a time Dirty Diana I was all about love, and now it’s more tits. It took me a while to talk to you because I was busy trying not to FAP watching Siri’s tits. The pornstar, not the computer voice, hah. Well, it was more listening to her moan and imagining a big pair of mounds in a pink bra. See it’s not only my mind but my body, I wanted to break so bad from last night to this morning, so how did I fight back? Here and now, Dirty Diana, which leads me to my writing.

I’m still not buying The Eve of a Cherry is publishable, pretty damn good, and isn’t more porn than erotic. At this rate, I want to add even more to the story, yeah pleasing penis portions. So today’s Log is brought to you by the letter P, I guess. Anyway, I’m exhausted, and that’s because this sickness is keeping me up, literally. Again I’m not talking about the Coronavirus. What did I say about checking WebMD? My eye is all screwy, and my chest was hurting some still I write.

Yeah, fictional sex scenes and now Cart Girls not beating out Will’s Pandemic Porn Parodies.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 296 ~Prose And Political Willies~

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I should really consider making a pseudonym, I mean I’m not a rich white guy that can say STUPID things or a pretty woman that can say naughty ones. Yet here I am, worried about my “writing” and the fate of the country. “Prose And Political Willies.”

Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Log 296 ~Prose And Political Willies~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means this moment, I would be involved in both. With all the fears I hold upon this Earth, why go about making more, right? Well, of course, with finishing yet one more novel, I need something to worry about. Am I sick, is some girl mad at me, will I be able to sleep tonight? Yes, I still remember, I’m supposed to be worrying about My Dæmon. My words, though, are like my money; when I think I’m beginning to catch up… And It’s Gone.

Has there ever been a day in my life where there was nothing? It’s the very reason I stay in bed come “The Day.” It’s sort of a throwback to being safe and warm before I was introduced to the world. Don’t ask me how that popped up, I should be talking about my novel that no one will ever read. I’m worried that it will be one more story that dies like my Six Impossible Things list every week. I still have until the end of the month for editing, and then what? Will I go back to blaming my Day Job once again?

Hell will I even have a job; reminds me I need to watch the CEO’s message. I know I still owe you an explanation as to why I think this all happened, plague and everything. Last night while I was still basking in the glow of my finished work, I got mad. It was a bid to avoid this morning’s feelings. This country is a screwed up place. Where doctors who are trying to save lives have to now stand against those who couldn’t care less? Ask me why should I be concerned? Other than the stores being empty and the new rules, I was living inside anyway whenever I got the chance. If I was getting sick, why did I make it to the table today? Again it’s a sin to find one problem, project, or penis erecting babe to take my mind off of everything else. You won’t hold it against me to say “penis” after my “PORN.”

How dare I call it erotica? Still, I’m the bad guy while others doom the world. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, I should start reading again, that helps?

For now, I’m sorry, Inspector Echo; Prose and Political Willies.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 294 ~One’s Art Is Another’s Disgust~

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What am I trying to express other than an obsession with adult entertainment? I should be finished writing my book sometime this week, then editing… and I’ll file it away with all my “other” titles. One’s Art Is Another’s Disgust.

Monday, April 20, 2020

Log 294 ~One’s Art Is Another’s Disgust~

Hundred And Thirty-Third Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s great. If anything, like the song, goes, “Hire eight bodyguards that love to beat up assholes.” Except those “people” would be a lot of pretty girls. No, I’m not one of those “incel” losers, and I hate how I always end up sounding like Trump having to explain what I mean. SIGH first and foremost, women are the most beautiful creatures on the planet Earth. Okay, next to My Dæmon, of course. Everything I want and do in my life comes back to that, women.

So last night, I was talking about The Eve of a Cherry,” my novel. If you knew how many days I’ve spent first on the novella and then expanding it. I keep saying I can’t let anyone read it. It won’t make money, so why bother. It feeds my rank soul. What good is it, though. I don’t have the writing chops of S. Wolf, Todd Michaels, definitely not Skye Warren or Tillie Cole. Right now, I’m thinking more of Lily White, who wrote The Five and The Director. We’re talking snuff films “ravishment” fantasies, sex for drugs, and everything in-between. That stuff gets to me Madam Justice, it makes me feel alive. I can’t watch comedy for the sake of STUPIDITY. No toilet humor. Anything with mistaken identity or twins… well, that isn’t adult entertainment, but the funny stuff turns me off, without fail.

“THEY” talk about beauty being in the eye of the beholder, but I refuse to be blind. For a few weeks now, I’ve been arguing with myself over the idea of “Doublethink,” you know, from 1984. My kid is the perfect example of that, he can be a demonic little asshat, but I love him like pancakes, always and forever. I would fight anyone, though, that says anything wrong about him. Look, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Still, it’s the concept that everything I find amazing is looked at as putrid, perverted, or petrifying. One more reason I put women in everything. Only here I am nearing the end of my story, and as Jigsaw would put it, there will be blood. The Coronavirus (COVID-19) is running rampant, and I’m upset that there are no zombies. People are willing to die for some “beautiful” world I can’t see. Our American Dreams, my such art, One’s Art Is Another’s Disgust.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 293 ~Thy Will Be Done~

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Go ahead and ask me what I want right now? Eric Thomas said if you’re going to be successful, you have to be willing to give up sleep. Well 1700 words and this conversation, and it’s after midnight. Thy Will Be Done

Sunday, April 19, 2020

Log 293 ~Thy Will Be Done~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and when you are, remember to buy a posher bed, first thing. Please excuse me if I sound a bit incoherent right now. Wouldn’t that mean you’ve heard me coherent? Anyway, you can see what time it is now, and I will do better? Still, my will right, not yours seeing it’s a Friday night/Saturday morning. Now I’m not a Bible guy; it put me to sleep, but I was trying to read each and every book. My point is, when are you going to start calling the shots? If anything, who am I working for, and why am I done tonight.

Well, you have more food, a plethora of snacks to choose from? Tonight I didn’t eat dinner because I was too busy feasting on the word. You’re welcome because, by the time you’re reading this, you should be finishing The Eve of a Cherry. I’m tired because I used up all my adrenaline worrying about My Dæmon. He got one of his nails stuck in his collar. It’s been sigh months since that happened, and I have the money to take care of it. Only the timing is not ideal with the Coronavirus (COVID-19) out and about. Oh, and do yourself a favor, stay off WebMD. Okay, so I mentioned money. I spent most of the day figuring out what I was going to do with the stimulus. In the words of South Park, “And It’s Gone.” Why is living such a chore, I ask? Not doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
    Failed
  6. I AM Writing 25,000 Words, Camp NaNoWriMo “The Eve of a Cherry”
    Completed

Look at that I got one. I keep working on that story, but why don’t I stop? As one of my motivations would say, “you’ll be tired of being broke.” Eric Thomas would say you have to get tired of losing. I’m tired of being lazy, and that’s why it has passed midnight. At least it will be easier to get to sleep because I won’t be telling myself the same old video game stories. It’s been Far Cry 5 lately, and my motion sickness is coming back when I tried watching it on YouTube. Finally, I hope you’re as sick of being an addict as I am. I swear I’m not that good of a… see now I’m feeling all motivated; Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
  6. I AM Writing 25,000 Words, Camp NaNoWriMo “The Eve of a Cherry”

It’s up to you, okay, to make this world your desire, Thy Will Be Done.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 292 ~The Number One, Willy~

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The WWE, which I’m on the cusp of not watching anymore, says it’s all about the numbers come Royal Rumble season, and the only number that matters, in the end, is one. “The Number One, Willy” but even in that I’m still greedy

Saturday, April 18, 2020

Log 292 ~The Number One, Willy~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I would be the first in my family. Lady Lu, I would be the first one I ever met. Tempted to say I haven’t been first at anything, but I’d be lying. Maybe Cherry’s talk is getting to me. She’d never admit it, but that girl is one for motivation. So what’s my motivation? Isn’t that a question that actors ask all the time? As for me, as usual, bucks, broads, and bullets. This week has been full of them for better or worse; then again, what is my #1 item with Six Impossible Things?

Let’s start off with the most “harmless” in this country, and that would be guns sarcasm. I’m still working up the courage to head out to the range. In all seriousness Lady Lu, I talk a big game of surviving the zombie hordes that will one day descend upon us all. I say that with utmost confidence, but it’s the living I can’t deal with. The dead don’t frighten me but only the breathing. Becoming one or staying the other requires what I do these days. I did mention I bought my speedloader and some rubber 9mm but until then.

Well, I have to figure out what I’m going to do with that $1,200. Hell, the only thing keeping it in my pocket is the fact that I want to write The Eve of a Cherry. I should mention books among the bucks, broads, and bullets, but how many novels have I bought recently. I got stuff to do, but I’m barely averaging 1700 words a day. If I published a book, I could stop by the bank more often. Now money would solve all my problems, only the amount has changed daily, how much?

The $30.00 I spent yesterday didn’t make me happy. At least I didn’t get robbed $50 on the Cash App. No, I spent money on one of my favorite pornstars Mia Rose. Again why can’t I be like an average guy and just get a membership with any ole adult site? Why don’t you ask me how many girls I have in The Eve of a Cherry? Seventeen and yesterday, I added 2B from Nier: Automata as Genevieve Garnet Flood. I swear it’s like I’m one of those tentacle monsters from the “good” Japanese animes.