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Chronicle 279 ~Getting A, B’s Easy~

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NOTE: I thought better of quoting Gail Graham’s book, but I really felt her on her point. Days like today, I miss my boy B, and if only I could work out those 25 other letters and publish a book? He’d be alive? Getting A, B’s Easy

Wednesday, April 6, 2022

Chronicle 279 ~Getting A, B’s Easy~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But on this day of confession, I’ll admit I’ve questioned my gender only on OnlyFans (sigh).

I mean to say, it’s the only time I wish I had Yabbos to make some fucking money. Now that’s much easier to say than anything at the Day Job. That place is enough of a Hell that I would do anything to get out of there. Today is Sunday, March 27, 2022. Inspector, Time Travel is important. And um downright dangerous, but why am I talking to you this afternoon? I could be doing so many other things. I doubt I’m working on a book, whichever I decide to do. By the time you see this Inspector, I think the day was more manageable. Am I saying you’re easy? For this Sunday, damn straight. More than talking to anyone else. I’m still in bed.

On the one hand, talking to you is the easy path. I can keep going to the Day Job. Every day I will cry over my son. I can live in fear for as long as I can, but you know how it ends, right? I’m going to let Gail say this because these are dangerous words. Gail Graham’s book:

Ditto Inspector, fucking ditto. What happened to me watching my language. Don’t I need every word I can get, even if it is a pardon? Have you ever pardoned me for anything now that I think about it, Echo? Inspector, the last time I said sorry for anything and meant it was 430 days ago speaking to Braxton. Like “Love and Happiness,” sorry’s too easy.

But you know what isn’t easy? I’m sitting on it. Now, getting off my butt, my pathetic ass, and walking to the dining room table to write. Hell going to the den today will be a challenge. Breaking my back for a Day Job I despise ain’t easy, but I do it because what’s the alternative? Write a damn book and get paid. Fuck, I have several ready, waiting, what? Busting my head against the wall and not busting a nut for some relief, why not? B couldn’t care less. Let his Dad have his alone time and worry about getting us out of here. A new furbaby, a job, a book. When I needed Braxton, “Get in the car.” When Getting A, B’s Easy.

Gospel 279 ~A Link To Braxton~

430 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 278 ~That B’d The Line~

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I read something once to the tune of making sure your bags are packed if you ask a person to choose between their furry kid and you. A line in the sand, if you will. I deal with a line ending my son 429 days ago on a piece of paper. That B’d The Line

Tuesday, April 5, 2022

Chronicle 278 ~That B’d The Line~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I always figured it would make me happy. There’s your boobs, my boy, a b…

Well, a dangerous word that would be crossing the line. It’s why, once again, I’m time traveling. Constantly reminded of the bullshit of the old Day Job. Pardon my language. But you know, babydoll, I’m not one to lie ever. I’ll admit I’m one to omit specific things when needed. Only I know with “All These Things That I’ve Done,” I did kill my son. Even now, 429 days since, all I can think is that B III needs some company. Why do you think I read a book on reincarnation? The Rainbow Bridge, the Other Side, Hell itself, Braxton is my family. He didn’t have anyone else; I shouldn’t say that. His furry family could greet him? I need a drink or good drugs.

How many lines were I, “Tryin’ ta get over” to get next to you? B III was always on my side of the line, and when I hopped it? Ah yes, here come my tears now. Today, being Sunday and all. Of course, this was his last day. I stole his line. Or, more as we said it together, “can we go home?” No, he wasn’t at the vet now to get better. Protecting him. Anyway, I remember the things I kept from him. The stuff I showed Braxton’s aunt… There are lines, even now, I can’t utter because those would be the ones to end me even if truthful. I’m not some fucking member of the “GQP,” again language. Black lines, skin, over white…

A smooth talker, or as Sade put it, Smooth Operator. I know I’ll cut my phone off. That’s something you have over Braxton. He hated my phone, and I don’t think I cut it off even when he lay dying. No beeps or boops, though, ok one boop as I watched him. B III’s nose. I’m trying to say that I wish I could remember the line that got you. The things I needed to say. I’ve continued to tell this story but the moment I knew I was Braxton’s family was when I said, “get in the car, B.” Without a word (rolls eyes), he hopped, Braxton and Will. So what’s my line? I love you and him, always, forever. That B’d The Line.

Gospel 278 ~Full Pockets, Pants Fall Off~

429 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 272 ~B A Good Man~

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It’s been 423 days since the best man I know, B III, died. And it’s been a solid month, not counting that 161 days I abstained after his death. I know the kind of man I am, and it ain’t nowhere close to good, case in point, this morning. B A Good Man

Wednesday, March 30, 2022

Chronicle 272 ~B A Good Man~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I need some titles like Jacob Ralston has in Succubus Lord. Thinking of sex already…

And what time is it? So that will be my second apology of the day. The first is that I’m either wasting a good title or repeating it, “B A Good Man” Inspector, being good… Hell no! Before the humiliations of Tuesday, sigh, I caught a look at myself mirror-wise. That’s what inspires me today. “The Horror, The Horror,” saying I’m not a good man. Pardon my wordage but fuck me. I don’t know how I say I’m a man at all. Well, most days. As far as being good… Braxton would still be alive. It always comes back to my son, doesn’t it? The fact that I haven’t cried yet shows my tears were more about my life. Don’t worry; Braxton always gets his.

In fact, before I turned back to the sex… I spoke of Succubus Lord, and I’m on #10 now. Anyway, I was looking up the price for Cuddle Clones. All my memorials for Braxton, sigh. No, I am not good at all. Keeping my dick in my pants doesn’t count when the AM is this:

1: Dreaming about “doing” Dakota Skye at my Day Job.
2: Looking up money shots, Helter Skelter (Hakudaku no Mura), Bible Black, Tifa

3: Finding the cover shots of the Succubus Lord girls
4: “Planning on seeing X (2022)
5: Watching Hentai “Nuns” violated
6: Listing out dirty fantasies… “wakefulness.”

I was awake last night, which explains why I’m only waking up now. Did I mention I miss Dirty Diana?

Not that I will give up talking to my son for anything. I should be more like Cherry and blab my thoughts on Twitter to save time. Even then, “Temptations End.” Twenty-four hours wasted Echo. I didn’t even eat dinner yesterday as I was so disgusted with such humiliations galore. Next week will be worse, and this week isn’t over yet. My whole life is one fucking waste of time. Well, fifteen years seeing about my boy, and here come my tears. Have I been a good man these past 423 days without him? I don’t want to go look in the mirror once again. There was a point Monday I thought I was healing from my “affliction.” I’d need to B A Good Man.

Gospel 272 ~Braxton In The Mercedes~

423 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 271 ~To B In Love~

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If you asked me right this second, who or what I loved? My Ma? Then why aren’t I a better human being? My writing? Then why do I still have my effing Day Job? B III? Where’s my tattoo, my gold chain? Why isn’t he alive? “To B In Love.”

Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Chronicle 271 ~To B In Love~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t love money. It’s more like I love not thinking about money. “Brewster’s Millions?”

But to this day, this remains my position on love. Love is the want, need, desire, the ability to put one above self. But, when I remember all my younger years, chasing several “shes who shall not be named.” I accept my foolishness, my “Idiocracy,” hell, stupidity. Hate that word. If it ain’t music, YouTube Reactions, or movies, it’s audiobooks. I’ve heard plenty, my love. Oh, and about “that word,” “stupid.” Don’t go there. Hey Stupid, I Love You… Divorce. Another big no, no would be getting rid of my four-legged child. 422 days dammit. Dearest, you’ll have to forgive me. The fact that I’m speaking through time travel lets you know, today is one of those that reminds me of my old Day Job.

Ok, so let me start over. Like an old fucking Republican that has an answer but asks again. What Is Love? I swear, I’m trying to chill on the pop culture, but “Todd,” Succubus Lord? I want to say that love is routine. I can’t tell you how I feel calm, peaceful, and glad when I know everything has its place. When I know where I belong. When B passed, day fucking one, I said everything remains the same. Everyday Is Exactly The Same. I’m trying. Anyway, I fill his water bowl, call him for meds, say hello and goodbye, because how can I not? A Man Provides… yes from Breaking Bad. But Stephen King wrote that Hell is repetition. Love grows, you, our children.

This leads me to believe that love is obsession or at least some form of madness. It’s an addiction, a habit, but that sounds like routine… And don’t people dive into them at their darkest hour. Well, until they hit rock bottom. Then they die or recover. Losing my son… Yes, that’s rock bottom, but then I look at you. Oh, I know it can get worse. I’d take it as another punishment in my failure to protect Braxton, but I can’t lose you, Babydoll. Continually I say I’m in love, which has never changed, but why doesn’t it feel that way right this second? When you love by my definition and that one above is gone… well, people choose eternity, To B In Love.

Gospel 271 ~Know Your Sins Before Others~

422 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 265 ~These Words By Embarrassment~

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“How Embarrassing” The books I read, the ones I listen to. The emails and all the wasted money to do nothing? I’d join the GOP, but they burn books, a-holes. I want to read; I want to create. B waited as long as he could. These Words By Embarrassment

Wednesday, March 23, 2022

Chronicle 265 ~These Words By Embarrassment~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but only with books, sex, and… I need another sin. My father thought reading… a vice.

How about repeating myself over and over? It’s what happens with time travel Echo, ok? Monday, March 14, 2022, is a much better day than anything now, um humiliations galore. But speaking of said shames to endure, what about the stupidity of my current ideas. Inspector, what book am I reading right now? I’m pretty sure it will be something on dogs. On the 14th, I’ve read a total of 13 books, all on pets. Now my premise is this. If I stop reading about dead furries, I’m somehow disloyal to Braxton. Inspector, I read 58 books last year, and that’s with Triple B’s death. 5 about grief, 2 more novels, 1 with a dead son. And now, Inspector, what about Audible? Succubus Lord Collection.

That brings us to our sex portion of the program. Again Inspector, playing on repeat. Didn’t I say before, I wanted to avoid any actions that, let’s say, “stimulated life?” Inevitable right being who I am? I swear there are days I miss, “Dirty Diana?” No, she’s never coming back. Every day is different, and Thursdays are for my son, for B III, so ok. So, of course, you may be wondering why I have become more “outspoken” as of late, Inspector. I’m going back to that 161 days I kept it in my pants. I wonder, am I still holding out now? Anyway, the longer it goes, the more noise I make. No time for Triple B when I have Triple X. These words.

How about my words, where the Hell is B III’s book My Turn To B III? There is also Gulp. How embarrassing it is to have made an investment with one company on the one hand. I’ve also got a publishing company. I need to pay one, and I sit on my ass doing nothing? Even today, as soon as I finish, I’m going right back to sleep. Haven’t left the bed for anything but nursing a sickness. Of course, by the time you read this, well, why do we talk so damn early? Because I would instead stay a slave and be nowhere near the man that B thought. All words and no action. Taking embarrassment to heart but Braxton? These Words By Embarrassment.

Gospel 265 ~Hair of the Braxton~

416 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 264 ~Being Blind To Love~

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The perfect woman? Not much has changed since Princess Leia. Take a look at most of the Star Wars heroines. Padme, Rey, Jyn. Had a big crush on Katniss. Hell Braxton had plenty of brown/tan hair. Here I go crying. Being Blind To Love

Tuesday, March 22, 2022

Chronicle 264 ~Being Blind To Love~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but no, I’m not into organ harvesting. Um, at least not the usual type. Kinda dark…

Would you instead have me crying about B III? It’s been 415 days now (Sunday, March 13, 2022), but I know that’s one thing that hasn’t changed. How long will I cry for B III? Indeed how long will I deny myself the pleasure of your company or without? Yes, at the moment, I want to keep my monk status. And it’s one more reason I find myself in bed. Look at the time, 3:00 in the afternoon. I would hate to meet the man in the mirror right this second. Hell, I have hated him for again 415 days by now. Then I wonder what you see in me. I mean, you haven’t walked out yet. I don’t have qualms about my body, ha.

You know my whole business is based on being a shallow prick. Am I not, considering I’m open to lots of women. In the “company sense,” Baby Doll; always, forever. I’ve got the perfect woman at home. And yet I am where I am now in life? And the others? These men aren’t looking for love. Well, at least I hope not though I can understand the idea of “I’m In Love With A Stripper.” But of course, that’s only one aspect of “my place.” As I said, I’m one for all the organs. Some I like looking at. And where others stick them well… And I’m not in love with the almighty dollar either, but I always want more. Greedy? One woman, one family?

One dog, which is my Braxton. B III. I ask myself, when did I know I was in love before. On the one hand, it was love at first sight. He was a puppy; what monster doesn’t love puppies? But he wasn’t my puppy. The moment he had my heart was when my Olds moved, and I said get in the car B. If it worked for Chris Rock right,” Bitch, get in the car.” As for when I knew I loved you? If I told you everything, I looked for physically in a woman… Braxton’s Aunt could sum it up. But when I knew you had my heart, well? Some say love is blind. I’m shallow. But loving another furry? Being Blind To Love.

Gospel 264 ~Find Anything That Beats Temptation~

415 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 258 ~Don’t Look Up Because~

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Don’t Look Up is a good movie. Not fantastic, but I don’t want to look up from it. I’d probably be looking up porn. Looking around to see my son isn’t here. Looking down… novels, please more books and not a few other B things. “Don’t Look Up Because”

Wednesday, March 16, 2022

Chronicle 258 ~Don’t Look Up Because~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I wonder if Trump is considering what a pussy he is. I shouldn’t disrespect pussy.

That’s the thing, though, Inspector. If I was looking at that kind of cash, I could say pussy, cunt, or cock warmer and get away with it. That works with AI but more later, hmm… Now I am not a prophet. I’m speaking to you Saturday, March 5, 2022, and you know why that is. Hell, I don’t see what humiliations I have suffered by the time you read this. The shame is my routine. I woke up with morning wood then had to run to the bathroom. Oh, and turning on my computer getting pretty hard once again. Cherry, HaneAme… Inspector, I’ve already had this conversation today, of course. Why not look to you? It’s ironic because I know I’ll be more down Inspector.

So why not talk about my greatest humiliation, hmm? Even Braxton’s death is about me. Selfish bastard! Language, but with everything I’ve said to you and others on this day? Let me be clear, I am not ashamed of my boy. B III showed more strength in his final days. A power that, for the life of me, I’ve been trying to tap into Inspector. By now, it’s day 409. That alone should make me ashamed. Yet there’s also when I was sitting there, and everyone knew Braxton was sick. There was walking in and out with his bed and toys. I’ll never forget Wednesday, February 10, 2021. I collected what was left of my love in a box. Like the song… Just Look Up.

Talk about wasting my life watching “Don’t Look Up” reactions. Then again, they’re making money while I’m getting my slave wage. Grammarly (dings) dangerous words. Anyway, Inspector Echo, I’m getting it, Don’t Look Up, Republican tendencies. I’d see I’m fucked. I’ll see that my boy is up there somewhere if I look up. The day he died, I still remember. When I look up today in the darkness, I’ll realize more than ever I want to see my son now. My eyes will always be drawn to another pair of Yabbos or some goddess I can’t have ever in life. Oh, let’s not forget the things I will look up, torturing myself with sex. Looking down, my penis, pay, and pills. Don’t Look Up Because.

Gospel 258 ~On Braxton’s Big Day~

409 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 257 ~A Write To B~

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All the signs that Braxton has been sending… I hope he has been sending and still is, and what have I responded with. Considering when I’m writing this because I won’t have the strength after. I’ll hate myself the rest of the day. “A Write To B”

Tuesday, March 15, 2022

Chronicle 257 ~A Write To B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means writing a check shouldn’t be any big deal. It’s more anxiety-driven than financial. (Shudders).

Imagine the time spent thinking money. Republican Tendencies, America, Everyone. Hell, what about the time I’ve wondered about the ghost dog Saturday, March 5, 2022. Aren’t I time traveling now? That’s what happens when you don’t learn from history, baby girl. I’m doomed to repeat it. Even though now I love what I do for a living. A living, huh? Aren’t I having the time of my life in my business? Braxton’s death… 408 days. Such a love puts me to shame. I wonder if it would put me out of business. Who would have thought being in a room full of women would tick me off; Karens/Rebeccas? Less than the old Day Job. You don’t want to hear me go into that. Time Travel.

I know you wish I would. Become the man I once was. But again, I say of love once known. As a husband, I deal in LOVE… ok, and a bit of LUST. In business, it’s all LUST, you know. Only B was the first to give love meaning. Is that an insult, to my Olds, to you our kids? 15 years 13 days, and I’m still trying to define it. I don’t mean any offense to the “people” in my life, but I think of all I have said. More like all I have written down in life. To my “father,” there were notes for money. Oh, begging for something like Braxton. The first time he buys a “family dog.” He’s for my sister, ha.

If that wasn’t a sign? Oh, for weeks, I’ve been going on and on about signs. Am I still hmm? You’ll never see me leaving with a pink slip, writing two weeks’ notice; my businesses. Baby doll, it’s only days like today; I go back to thinking I should walk out on the old Day Job. Remind me someday to write about how I escaped that shithole. Pardon my language, but the Day Job is a shithole. I’d call it the ninth circle of Hell, an accessory to the murder of my son. Anyway, why would I write a book for such a place? Never… Instead, I would write of Braxton. I would speak of love. But to you and everyone. A Write To B.

Gospel 257 ~Never Mind Weather For Sex~

408 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 251 ~To B This Way~

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“Just B,” and “You Will.” Um, when B spoke, I heard… “Daddy,” more in my head. Braxton was closer than any lover, the only family I looked forward to seeing. I know him better than my sister. And was my love than any god. So when I get To B This Way.

Wednesday, March 9, 2022

Chronicle 251 ~To B This Way~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So I’m hoping in two weeks. In case I haven’t been humiliated… Infection, Succubus Lord, Broke

Didn’t I say something about investing in a dictionary? Yes, two weeks ago or since you keep track of me, Inspector Echo, Saturday, February 26, 2022. Too bad they don’t sell time machines… yet. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Inevitable. Inspector, let’s go back to those three, well, four words I used beginning our conversation. You know I’m still trying to figure out what’s wrong with me… physically. Again, I know how but I don’t know which outfit. That means laundry time. But antibiotics, doctors? With what money? Let’s start off with my fun and Amazon taking almost twenty bucks. With the way I’ve been time-traveling, which means more of the Day Job. Succubus Lord? Fun! Any money left, Inspector?

Why am I asking you? I don’t mean that as an insult, but I’ve been thinking about it this morning. You and everyone else in my life and what you do. Selfish Bastard! Language! But what is true is true, especially when it comes to sex. I’d like to think of myself as a giving lover. Buying M Anime lingerie doesn’t count. Anyway, for everything I want to do to a woman. Hell for everything I want a woman to do to me. I’d give it up for B. No woman has ever made me feel as he did. I skipped porn or did to mourn my lost boy. Of course, you didn’t think I’d forget him in two weeks. Now my “father,” Inspector Echo…

I wonder, have I heard from him since Friday two weeks ago. I love my Mama, and I need my Old Man. Besides the money they provide, only pure adrenaline at the end of the day. The Day Job is my Hell. I’ve said before when it comes to B III, I’m his murderer, Echo. I don’t blame the Vet; I don’t research dog food. Echo, it was Hatred and Indifference. Inspector, what about my friends? It’s wanting to see their Yabbos for the most part. I’ve seen Carolina Bound’s. Almost with M Anime. Cherry teased me. Oh yeah, Special K? Completely naked! Good times and her birthday was February 25. But B knows me better; he’s my… will. He knew To B This Way.

Gospel 251 ~Worries And Wrinkles Braxton~

402 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 250 ~Bruh, By, Bye Love~

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No, I’m not “religious.” I love No Strings Attached Sex, FWB, and saying hi to my monster as much as anybody. Not as much as being Braxton’s Dad but a close second. Sex does have a purpose, though, other than fun and beauty. Life… Bruh, By, Bye Love.

Tuesday, March 8, 2022

Chronicle 250 ~Bruh, By, Bye Love~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but by the sweat of my brow? All the beauty in creation but being a creator?

I am struggling over whether to confess. That I’m not much of a creator? True enough, but there is more. Braxton, he’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Don’t get me wrong, baby girl; you can easily see your effect on me. I’m just a man, only human. The knowledge that I’m a father when I look at our children… I still cry every day for Braxton. 401 days and still counting. But looking at the family we have made together brings more tears of joy and gladness. I can’t swim, but I haven’t drowned as of yet. Babydoll, it always comes back to why all this beauty ends up in my hands. Hell, why aren’t I jealous when not by these hands hmm?

There’s much to be rage about, Spotify, the destruction of this world, hatred of self. Inevitable but let me fall back into the music, “With Arms Wide Open.” It would be those lines, “If I had just one wish, only one demand. I hope he’s not like me. I hope he understands.” But I look to the signs but not the ones I’ve been reading about. But why do I have a hard time finishing writing books or making anything? “Why do the things I hate come so naturally?” That’s “Dance On Our Graves” Paper Route. To bring beauty to the world… I’ve said that Braxton was the best man I know. If he was so perfect, what’s that say about me, his Daddy? Am I good? “Bye Bye, Love…”

Damn! You know something; I should talk to robots more often because I got it. I talk plenty about hatred and pain. In another life, I studied torture. I always looked at it as a means of intelligence gathering. But there is something else, babydoll. Torture is fun. Same with sex, making love, fucking, pardon my language. Yes, fucking is all kinds of fun. Again, next to being Braxton’s Daddy, it’s the best thing ever. But as I keep saying, fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. Making love also means the chance to create life. Braxton was not a life I made, but he is my own. I thank everything for you. The children… a joint effort. To fear losing life… Bruh, By, Bye Love

Gospel 250 ~Consider Threats Like Any Invitation~


401 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will